Whoo! This took me a while to do, but it's finally done! T.T Just to let you know, I rewrote this three times before finally coming up with the beginning I liked and after a nasty writer's block. I seem to be getting those quite often nowadays...Ahem. Anyway, I really, really hope you like this chapter because I just about cried writing one part of it and (as some of you may or may not know) I almost never cry so this was a very emotional chapter for me. Which is odd, because this has never happened before. Hm. Ah, geeze. I'm rambling again. Just make sure you review and tell me what you think! This chapter is longer than normal and a bit angst-y. I also think it starts to get a bit cheesy at the end, but hey. Whatever ^^ ENJOY!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Host Club or any Ouran related things involved int his story aside from Fu-kun and my OC and her family...and some of the plot too I guess. I also don't own "Waiting for the End" by Linkin Park nor "Some Nights" by Fun.

"No!"

I sat up quickly; sweat rolling down my body in sheets as I reached forward into nothingness. It was yet another nightmare about losing everything that caused me to be awake at the unearthly time of…3:50 in the morning, according to the clock hanging on the wall. I pulled my hand through my hair with a sigh and gazed around the living room at all the scattered papers that were lying around me in a messy fashion. I really wasn't in the mood to pick them up and I could easily make my way through them anyway, so I had no need to organize them. Besides, I miss the constant chaos I used to live in. That, and Fu-kun is sleeping on a good portion of them anyway. No need to wake him up.

Standing up with a yawn, I walked into the bathroom for a shower to wake me up a bit more since I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep anyway with the memories haunting me. The moment I turned the water on though, I immediately regretted the decision and jumped out of the spray of freezing cold water, managing to slip on the wet floor; tumbling down and hitting my head against the tile painfully. My vision swam dangerously as my heart beat pounded behind my skull. When I felt safe enough to stand, I grew fed up with everything and skipped out on the shower, dressed, and headed instead to the guest room that had the punching bag I practiced with when I had time. I didn't want to wake up Fu-kun, so I shut the doors and put my larger headphones on letting music pump into my ears as I punched away at the bag before me.

"This is not the end, this is not the beginning

Just a voice like a riot rocking every revision

But you listen to the tone and the violent rhythm

Though the words sound steady something empty's within them

We say yeah with fists flying up in the air

Like we're holding onto something that's invisible there

Cause we're living at the mercy of the pain and the fear

Until we dead it, forget it, let it all disappear

Waiting for the end to come

Wishing I had strength to stand

This is not what I had planned

It's out of my control

Flying at the speed of light

Thoughts were spinning in my head

So many things were left unsaid

It's hard to let you go

I know what it takes to move on

I know how it feels to lie

All I want to do

Is trade this life for something new

Holding on to what I haven't got"

Sweat dripped down my face as my fists met the punching bag over and over again in quick succession. Every ounce of my being was focused on releasing the pent up frustration and anger as the melody of "Waiting for the End" by Linkin Park came through my headphones. I was having such a hard time forgetting about my family I left behind and I knew that I had 'what it takes to move on' but I also knew that it's also completely out of my control. God's the one who sent me here and, although I don't know why, I had no say about it.

"Sitting in an empty room

Trying to forget the past

This was never meant to last

I wish it wasn't so

I know what it takes to move on

I know how it feels to lie

All I want to do

Is trade this life for something new

Holding on to what I haven't got"

I ignored any aches and pain I was feeling physically, and concentrated more on the mental hurt. I was desperately trying to hold on to the family I didn't have any more and now that I have something new, I'm still not able to forget the past. It was just now that I realized that everything was just barely sinking in. That, and the fact that I still had school today and I needed to make up with the twins.

"What was left when that fire was gone

I thought it felt right but that right was wrong

All caught up in the eye of the storm

And trying to figure out what it's like moving on

And I don't even know what kind of things I said

My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead

So I'm picking up the pieces, now where to begin

The hardest part of ending is starting again"

This part of the song had me regretting everything I had done yesterday at school. Not only had I punched both twins out of frustration, but I don't even remember what I said to the twins. I had been so caught up in the fight that I'd also walked out on everyone who was trying to help. When I first ended up in Ouran, I though everything was right. I thought that I'd be okay because I was starting over, but 'the hardest part of ending is starting again' and I never recognized that fact.

"All I want to do

Is trade this life for something new

Holding on to what I haven't got

This is not the end, this is not the beginning

Just a voice like a riot rocking every revision

But you listen to the tone and the violent rhythm

Though the words sound steady something empty's within them

We say yeah with fists flying up in the air

Like we're holding onto something that's invisible there

Cause we're living at the mercy of the pain and the fear

Until we dead it, forget it let it all disappear"

I stopped finally, breathing heavily as I leaned my forehead against the bag. What am I doing? Now's my chance to start over and I'm wasting it by being the same as I was back home first starting out in college. I'm avoiding everyone around me and pushing away those who are getting close. I shook my head and frowned.

"God, I'm so messed up."

At least you understand your position now. I turned around and spotted Fu-kun on the floor, a small ferret sized hole in the paper door. My left eye twitched as he calmly licked his paw like a cat.

"Yeah. Too bad you don't understand the position you're in right now."

He stopped and gave me a questioning glance, cocking his head to the side in confusion. I merely pointed to the hole in the door with a frown. He turned slowly and stared at it before turning back to me. All it took was a blink and he was gone, back out the hole he'd left.

"Fu-kun!" I yelled as I chased him around the small apartment. "Who do you think has to pay for that?!"

Not me! He gave a chuckle as he dashed to a safe spot behind the fridge. I don't even know how he got into a space that small, but he managed to thwart me in my mission of strangling him. With an amused huff, I tossed my hands up. I'm not cleaning you when you come out of there, so I hope you enjoy the dirt. At that, he scampered out and began running around the island in the middle of the kitchen as thought that would help fling the dirt off his white (now grey) coat. I laughed.

"I'm just kidding!…but we'll have to make it quick. I only have half an hour before I need to get to school."

He stopped as I began filling up the sink with semi-warm water. Oh, now it's heated. Hm, I'm surprised. I though you'd skip out on school after snapping at the twins. You don't seem like the silent, enduring type. You don't know much then, do you? He scowled as I lifted him up to the counter and I smiled sadly. My mom used to always bug me about things that were bothering me, but I hardly told her anything. You'd be surprised how many nights I cried myself to sleep due to all the things I never told anyone. He dropped the subject and slunk into the sink as I went to grab a towel and some shampoo from the bathroom.

When I returned, I smiled at the sight of Fu-kun floating on his back in the water comfortably. Too bad he wouldn't be able to enjoy it for much longer. I poked him in the stomach, throwing off his balance and dunking him in the water. He glared at me as he surfaced, but allowed me to wash him without much hassle.

School, on the other hand, was slightly less than I'd hoped for. Every class gave unimaginable amounts of homework (not that it mattered. I had a college education anyway) and Honey and Mori kept giving me concerned glances. Well, I can see why. You've been staring out of that window depressed the whole day. I frowned at Fu-kun and began pulling on his cheeks. At least I'm trying! It's hard to forget something like this so easily. Okay? I stopped tugging his cheeks as the bell rang for the end of our last class and dread began to seep in.

Looking to my right, I saw that glint in Honey's eyes, as he turned my way and packed up his things. Oh crap. Scrambling to gather my belongings, I tossed them haphazardly into my messenger bag and ran towards the door. It was when I saw the floor a ways below me that I grew confused and stopped running. Slowly glazing up, I silently hoped it wasn't who I thought it was that was holding me six feet off the ground. Blue-green eyes met brown and I pouted; slumping down in defeat.

"Hi Mori-kun…"

"Hn."

Honey stood under me with a big grin on his face. Obviously happy that he had caught me before I could make my great escape. He didn't even bother to tell me where we were going, just started rambling on and on about what kinds of cake him and I were going to eat to cheer me up.

"We'll have strawberry, and chocolate, and devil's food cake, and angel cake, and cheesecake, and-"

Oh my gosh, the list went on and on. By the time we reached the club room, he had named over two hundred different cakes and I doubted that even he could eat that many cakes in one sitting. I sighed as Mori and Honey walked into music room three with me hanging limply in Mori's arms.

"We brought Ko-kun just like you said, Tama-chan!"

So this was blondie's idea? I lifted my head enough to glare at the rambunctious idiot as he dashed towards me to give me one of his famous hugs. The moron froze in place for only a second before disappearing to his corner of woe, crying about how his son doesn't love him. I could care less as Mori set me down and I brushed myself off. Spotting the twins in Arabian outfits sitting on their couch, I took a deep breath and headed over.

"Hikaru-kun, Kaoru-kun. I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. I shouldn't have over reacted and…you may hit me back if you want."

I bowed as the two of them stared at me in shock. They both stood from the couch and I lifted my head in preparation for what was coming to me. Hikaru was the first to raise his fist and I closed my eyes. What I didn't expect, was the two flicks to my forehead and opening my eyes to find the two devils grinning.

"You're not the one…"

"…who should be saying sorry…"

"…senpai."

I blinked in confusion as their arms wrapped around my shoulders and they began leading me to the changing room.

"We shouldn't have said those things to you before."

"Yeah. We didn't know they would hurt you like that."

"So, we're sorry."

With that, they closed the door to the changing room behind them and stared at me with their usual predatory smirk. I gulped and reached to use Fu-kun as a shield-Hey!-but he wasn't on my shoulders. I was alone in a small room with the twins. Well, this day certainly hasn't been going as I would have hoped.

"I-I forgive you. S-So could y-you leave so I c-c-can change?"

Their grins did the impossible and grew larger. That definitely did not bode well for me.

Outside of the changing room, the group stood and discussed what had just happened as well as what Mori and Honey had to say about how Kohaku acted in their classes.

"Ko-kun was really sad. He kept staring out the window."

"Ah."

Haruhi put a hand to her chin in thought.

"Why did he ask the twins to hit him though?"

Kyoya pushed up his glasses. "Perhaps he blamed himself for what happened and felt as though he overreacted. Which he did, I might point out."

Haruhi frowned. "Sure, it might have been a bit much…but if he's really lost his family then it's understandable."

The group nodded solemnly when yells from the changing room echoed across the room.

"I already told you! I don't need help!"

"But Kohaku-senpai!"

The twins were shoved out of the room by a blushing Kohaku and the moment the door closed in their faces, they began laughing hysterically with their hands over their stomachs.

"Ahaha! D-Did you see…"

"…his face?!"

"Priceless!"

The others shook their heads with small smiles. Happy that Kohaku had returned to his normal self. Even if it was for only a moment.

Back in the changing room, I frowned at the mess that my clothes were in thanks to the twin devils. My tie was on the floor along with my blazer and my shirt now had a few buttons missing. I was just glad that I'd managed to kick them out before they went too far. Gazing at the mannequin that had my Arabic outfit on it, I gapped open mouthed. They really went all out, didn't they?

The outfit was wonderfully soft and a nice navy blue color with silver trimming. I had also gotten lucky and ended up with one that was similar to Kyoya's in the way that it covered anything important. I paused as I put on the turban. I wonder if he knows that I'm a girl. As I walked out of the room trying to get my earrings on, I shook my head. Nah, if he knew I'd be blackmailed by now. My expression grew bored as I took a seat on my assigned couch and leaned my head back with a sigh.

"Um, are you okay Kohaku-senpai?"

I tilted my head forward and looked at Haruhi as she handed me a cup of tea instead of the usual commoner's coffee, since I don't like the taste of it. I accepted it with a sad smile.

"Truthfully?…I've been better. I've just got a lot on my mind at the moment."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I stopped sipping my tea and set it down on the table as I actually considered what she had said. Do I want to talk about it? I mean, it'll be nice to get everything off my mind and to share some of the burden with someone else, but…how much will it help? It still won't change the fact that they're gone. As I thought about it more, the pros began to outweigh the cons and my face grew more and more troubled. Haruhi saw this and quickly began to try and fix what she thought she had done wrong.

"Y-You don't have to tell me if you don't want to!"

I chuckled, coming out of my daze pretty quickly.

"You know, that's the same thing you said when we first met Haruhi-kun."

She flushed a bit and tried to hide her face behind her own cup of tea. I stopped laughing and looked over to my right where the other hosts were doing their own things.

"I suppose I could talk about it, though, Haruhi-kun."

Her head snapped up. "Really?"

"Yeah. It'd be nice to get some of this off my chest and you're so easy to talk to. I haven't stuttered once since we started talking. Ah, but I don't want you telling the others. Okay?"

"Okay…but why?"

"Think about it. What I'm about to tell you is very personal and very…depressing. Kyoya-kun would use it as blackmail. Honey-kun would cry every time he saw me. Tamaki-kun would demand hugs constantly. The twins would try to be nice to me and Mori-kun would probably look at me with pity. That, and I'm not quite ready to tell them yet. They're good friends and all, but I feel like they're just not…close enough. Uh, do you understand? I feel like I'm not saying this very well."

I nervously rubbed the back of my neck and Haruhi shook her hand.

"No. I get it. I promise I won't tell them."

I nodded, smiling slightly, then opened my mouth to tell her about my family when Kyoya clapped loudly. All eyes turned to him and he pushed up his glasses.

"Positions. It's time to welcome our guests."

We all went to our places and I couldn't tell whether I was happy or not that I didn't have to tell Haruhi about what happened. I sighed and decided that a part of me really did want to tell her, as I snatched up Fu-kun and placed him on my shoulders. Standing in my place next to Kyoya, we welcomed our guests only to find a young boy staring at us in shock on the floor.

"What? It's just a kid."

I rolled my eyes at Hikaru and watched as Tamaki tried to flatter the small boy.

"What's the matter? Are you lost? Or did you come to my palace for something?"

"Are you the king?"

"Oh God. He's done it now."

I muttered as I pinched the bridge of my nose. Tamaki didn't believe what he had heard and stepped closer for the boy to repeat the word. He then went off into his own little world and we all sighed and tried to bring him back to reality.

"King!"

The kid from before then stood up and pointed his finger at us, looking determined.

"I am Junior Section, grade 5, class A's, Shiro Takaouji! I would like to apply as the host club king's apprentice!"

I smacked my face with my palm and groaned, heading to the changing room to change out of the costume. Great. Now I have to deal with this stupid kid. If I remember correctly, he's really perceptive too. The sooner this is over with, the better. During my inner monologue, Tamaki had accepted the kid and the actual guests entered the room. I didn't have any guests at the moment, for which I was lucky, and instead stood with Haruhi and Kyoya as they watched the demon spawn screw with Tamaki's customers.

"Learning from such close observation…Isn't it distracting?"

"Tamaki was preaching that close-up observations could reflect more of his beauty. It's better to just ignore him."

I nodded. "That's probably best. Tamaki's gonna regret it in a minute anyway."

Kyoya raised a brow and I just pointed over at them as Shiro started harassing the customer.

"If I must say it, she's more like the crucian carp in my garden's pond. I would never use such blatant words of flattery."

The girl dashed out of the room with tears streaming down her face, yelling about Tamaki being an idiot. Doesn't she know that Tamaki isn't the one who said that? Apparently not. The twins walked up then, and began patting Shiro on the head as a job well done in Torturing Tamaki 101.

"This is great! You've got a cute little brother here, my lord!"

"Hikaru…" Oh man. They're gonna expose that kid to twincest? Better now than later. True. "Hikaru, you'd prefer a brother like him better?"

Hikaru hugged Kaoru, looking serious.

"Idiot! Even if I searched the world over, no one could compare to you."

"Hikaru…"

The poor kid was shell-shocked while the guests screamed in awe. You could practically see the hearts floating above their heads. Shiro turned around and dashed towards Haruhi, jarring her a bit but not causing her to drop anything. Yet.

"What is it? Oh. Did those suspicious people scare you? I was scared too, but when you've been with them long enough you'll become like a monk and won't be surprised by anything."

I blinked at her explanation, not really understanding the part about the monk, when Shiro said something that freaked Tamaki and the twins out.

"Are you a transvestite?"

The three of them began trying to steer the kid away from Haruhi and get him occupied on something else, but the moment they mentioned giving him the tea tray, I was there to save Haruhi from further debt.

"Okay then. This is heavy, be careful-"

She handed the tray over, but I grabbed one end just as the kid let go. The tea sloshed out of the cups and onto my pour, abused hands. I winced but showed no other reaction as I set the tea tray to the side. No need to further worry them when there was already one problem at hand. I then went back over to the kid as Tamaki grabbed him and began yelling at him.

"What's wrong with you?!"

"Don't make a child hold something heavy like that! Be grateful that freak caught it and didn't screw anything up!"

Freak? My left eye twitched. My temper was mostly controllable, but my emotions were a mess today and one more thing would probably send me over the edge with this brat.

"Shiro-chan! Let's have some cake together! I have chocolate and strawberry!"

Honey exclaimed as he pulled Shiro into a hug.

"Annoying. What grade are you in?"

That's it. I stalked over as Shiro freaked out about Mori, grabbed the brat by the back of his collar, and lifted him off the floor.

"Hey! What are you-"

His eyes grew wide at the look on my face. It was a mix of annoyance, anger, and disdain.

"Apologize."

"W-What? No way!"

"Then you'll be punished."

He looked scared, but I simply put him in a cage that the twins had set up against one wall. The guests were gone after all, so no need to worry about playing my role as the shy host.

"W-What is this?!"

"Time out."

He dropped open his mouth in shock and I smirked. Walking away, I ignored the conversation between him and Tamaki. Instead, I took a seat across from Kyoya as he typed away on his laptop. Him, Haruhi, and Mori were the few semi-normal people and the only ones who could keep me sane at the moment. Fu-kun hopped up on my lap and I absentmindedly pet him.

"I'm surprised."

"Hm?" I looked at Kyoya in question.

"You're normally very level-headed and yet one word set you off."

I nodded. "True. I've had a lot going on though. Stress piles up and all it needs is a little push before everything starts tumbling down."

"You're not stuttering."

I blinked in surprise, but gave a short chuckle. "Yeah. I suppose I haven't been stuttering. You seemed to have unconsciously made it into my good books then, Kyoya-kun."

He hummed and stood up before returning with a first aid kit. Setting it on the table, he opened it up and pulled out bandages and burn cream, holding his hand out to me. I sighed and gave him one of my hands.

"How'd you know? I thought I was hiding it pretty well."

"I'm the son of a doctor, remember? It's my job to know when one of the host club members are hurt, be it physical…or emotional pain."

The way he said 'emotional' had me slightly on edge which he noticed, smirking at me when my hand tightened slightly in his.

"If you don't want to teach me seriously, then forget it!"

My head whipped around to see Shiro run out the doors and I pulled my hand away from Kyoya's since he had finished. I nodded my head in thanks, which he returned regretfully, and I grabbed my stuff as I walked towards Haruhi.

"Hey, Haruhi. I'll walk you home since we have things we need to talk about."

"Uh…okay."

Tamaki began screaming at us as we left and I tossed my arm across Haruhi's shoulders for good measure, turning around to stick my tongue out at him.

"You really shouldn't do that Kohaku-senpai. It's not nice to tease him."

"Ah, Haruhi. One must enjoy the simple things in life and that is a simple thing that must be done every once in a while for pure enjoyment. Don't you agree?"

I smiled down at her and she just shook her head with a small smile.

"I guess you're right senpai."

"No more 'senpai'. You're about to learn quite a bit about me, Haru-chan. So why not become familiar."

She gave me and odd look, but nodded.

"Good. Then let's start with something important. Haruhi…..I'm a girl."

Tada~! That's the end of this chapter ^^ nah. I'm just kidding. I couldn't leave it at that. I love my readers too much to do such a thing. So onwards!

Uh, kid? I think you broke her. I turned to the side to look at Haruhi, only she wasn't there and was actually a few paces behind me, her eyes wide in shock. I sighed and walked back, grabbing her arm and making her walk again as she tried to collect her thoughts. It took a while and we were a few blocks from her house before she finally began speaking again.

"Y-You're joking, right?"

I shook my head. "Nope. I'm 100% female, despite my looks. I'd show you proof, but I'm not one for flashing people."

That seemed to wake her up a bit more as her face flushed and she dropped her head into her hand. I simply laughed at her reaction as we reached the steps to the apartment complex. She blinked as I walked up the stairs without her before quickly following me up.

"How did you know where I lived, Kohaku-sen…Kohaku-chan?"

I frowned. "Ugh, please no 'chan' use 'kun'. I like that one better and didn't I tell you? I live next door to you."

I smiled as her mouth dropped open in surprise, unlocking my own door and tossing my messenger bag into the apartment before locking it and standing in front of her door. Waving my hand in a flourish, I gestured towards the knob.

"Are we going in? Or are we going to talk in my place?"

"N-No. We can go to mine. I just…never realized. You really do have a lot of things you need to tell me, huh?"

I nodded, sadly. "Yeah. And that's not even half of it."

She sighed and opened the door, welcoming me into her home and removing her shoes. I did the same and took my place in the living room as she made some tea. Fu-kun fell to my lap and promptly got comfortable before falling asleep.

"Hey, Haruhi-chan! Your dad home from work yet?"

"Uh, no. Wait! You've met my dad too?!"

"Yep. Helped me out when my place was robbed. Nice guy."

She returned with the tea and an odd look on her face. I just smirked as I sipped my tea.

"You'll learn, Haru-chan, that I'm a very accepting person. Very rarely do I judge people based on what they look like and when I do, I keep it to myself and treat them as I would anyone else. Japanese, white, African American, tall, short, anorexic, over-weight, straight or gay; it's what makes them who they are and who am I to judge?"

She smiled softly and sat down across from me. "You're a really good person, Kohaku-kun."

"So you say, but you'd be surprised. I've done a few bad things here and there."

I gave a short laugh just as the door slammed open and Ranka burst through with his arms open wide.

"Haruhi!~ I'm home! I heard voices. Do you have a girl friend over?~"

Haruhi gave me a questioning glance and I just waved her onward.

"I, uh, guess you can say that."

He turned the corner and spotted me, his face lighting up with a grin as he fell to his knees, tackling me in a hug.

"Oh, Ko-kun!~ How are you? Did you fix up your apartment alright?"

"Yes. Thanks for your concern and, um, c-could you stay with us for a moment? I-I know you just got back from work and you're tired, but I need to tell Haruhi a few things a-and I thought…you'd might like to hear it as well. I actually, really hope you'd stay."

He looked at me with a worried face, not having seen me ask for help even when my apartment was robbed. He nodded and sat at the end of the table between Haruhi and I. Taking a deep breath, I dragged a hand through my short hair to prepare for what I was going to tell them.

"Okay. First, I'm not sure if you know or not, Ranka-san, but I'm a girl."

"I figured as much. It was either that or a very shy, very confused boy. You pull the part quite well though, I must say."

I smiled a bit and set my elbows on the table, hands clenched and jaw set tightly.

"Well then, um, I suppose I should start out from the beginning, but I…I can't tell you everything. Some of it's so…unbelievable I just, can't. But, um…The beginning, right? Where to start…"

"How about, with your family?"

I glanced over at Haruhi and nodded. "I have none…I used to have four sisters and a brother along with my parents, but they're gone."

They seemed to be getting the wrong idea, probably thinking they were dead, but I didn't know whether or not I should correct them. To me, they almost were dead. Or at least, I was dead. Ranka grabbed my hands in his and gave a small squeeze, encouraging me to continue.

"I was the oldest in my family then came my sister Sarah, then my brother Patrick, then the rest going down; Melody, Catherine, and Jennifer."

"Those aren't Japanese names."

I chuckled a bit. "No. Yet another thing you don't know about me. I'm not from here. I'm from America. California to be precise."

"What?! But you don't look like it!"

"Sorry. That's one of the bits I can't tell you."

Yeah. Like the fact that I'm not even from this world and that I died in my old one. I shook my head and bit my bottom lip hard to try and forget the thought. I couldn't even tell them everything and I'd forever feel guilty for not doing so. It's something I can't tell anyone. I took another deep, shuddering breath and let it out before steadying myself.

"So, I have no relatives a-and live by myself with Fu-kun. I have a job as a novelist for the extra money, aside from what I get every month from some unknown source for the necessities."

"Why are you telling us this, Kohaku-kun? I mean, why now?"

My hands started shaking as I held my head, sobs trying to choke me as I held them back.

"I just…I-I just needed to let it out. I've been to the boxing gym every day since I came here. J-Just beating myself up a-about everything. It's a-all just building up a-and I-I'm falling apart. I can feel it. I needed to t-tell someone, b-but I didn't know who. F-Fu-kun is all I have a-and I c-c-can't…I c-can't cry. I can't let go b-because they need me."

"Who needs you, Ko-chan?"

"I-I need to be s-strong because I-I can't let my f-f-family see me cry. They need me. I c-can't just leave them."

The tears finally fell down my face and the sobs broke through my barrier, dripping on Fu-kun as he woke and tried to comfort me. Arms wrapped around my form and I clutched desperately to Ranka's shirt, just crying out everything that I'd been holding in for the past few days.

It was the first time I'd cried in months, even when I was back at home I rarely cried. My friends used to always use me as a pillar of strength because I never showed them how much I was hurting inside. My siblings did the same as I held back my tears when our grandmother died. It felt good to finally have someone else be that strength for me. To have someone that could comfort me instead of the other way around.

My energy was sapped from me as I cried for who knows how long. Slowly, my tears dried up and I could feel myself falling into the inky blackness called sleep. With one last squeeze, I breathed out what I wanted to say.

"Thank you…Thank you for being here."

Ranka had his own tears falling down his face, as did Haruhi when they heard everything Kohaku had gone through. I didn't even know. She had this much happening to her and she still managed to stay strong to the end, all for her family. Good God, Kohaku. What will the host club do when they find out about this? I'm not going to tell them, but they will find out sooner or later. They always do. Haruhi wiped her tears and picked up Fu-kun as he watched Kohaku, looking as sad as a ferret can get. She finally understood why Kohaku was angry at the twins and why she was constantly seen speaking with Fu-kun. Fu-kun was her only family now, so he was all she could talk to. He also had that look that says he knows what's going on. As though he understands everything. Maybe he does speak to her. It wouldn't surprise me. She's not crazy, after all. She just needed a friend.

"Seems she's asleep. I'll take her to your room, Haruhi. Is that okay with you? I'd take her home, but…"

He trailed off, but Haruhi understood. "But there's no one there for her…Yeah, I don't mind. You should get to sleep too, dad. You have work later. I'll wake you up for dinner."

"Thank you Haruhi…I just can't believe she kept all of this hidden for so long. She must have been a good daughter."

Haruhi smiled slightly as she went towards the kitchen to start on dinner.

"Yeah…and a good friend too."

Haruhi woke me up the next day, somehow managing to deal with the early-morning-me quite easily. Surprisingly, she was pretty good at cooking American-styled food and I happily munched away on pancakes and scrambled eggs. Although, looking at my face you wouldn't be able to tell.

My eyes had bags under them from a nightmare I woke up to in the middle of the night (luckily, Haruhi's a heavy sleeper), and my face was entirely blank. One could tell I had just woken up just by the way my hair stood up on end with cowlicks pointing in every direction. Then, while I was happy on the inside, my whole outer appearance screamed exhaustion and boredom.

"Do you always go to school like this, Kohaku-kun?"

I nodded without a care in the world, still half out of it even as we walked to school. I was jealous of Fu-kun sleeping away on my shoulders since we had woken up earlier than normal to walk to school.

Classes went by in a breeze though, unlike yesterday, and soon it was time for the club to start. I was a bit more awake at this point, but one sight of those stairs and I wished I was back in my own apartment in my bed. Honey was already halfway up the stairs, bounding from step to step with a big grin on his face while I stayed at the bottom glaring at the steps.

"Are you coming?"

"I don't wanna. Too many stairs."

Mori blinked at my answer with a slight twitch of his lips that could be considered a smile, before he knelt to the floor and pointed to his back.

"Get on."

I looked at him confused for a second, not completely registering what he was telling me to do when it hit me like a brick in the face. Oh, he wants to carry me to the room. Um…I shouldn't, but I'm so lazy today. With a shrug, I climbed on and he easily picked me up and carried me up the daunting stairs. The gentle up and down rhythm quickly and effectively put me to sleep.

When I did wake up, I was still on Mori's back but we were in another part of the school building that I didn't recognize. At the sight of the small kids walking through the hall, I confirmed that we were in the elementary school section most likely looking for Shiro. Yawning, I mumbled to Mori.

"You can put me down now…And thank you."

"Ah."

He set me down and it wasn't quite sinking in that I had just gotten a piggyback ride from the tall senior. And I'm sure when it does sink in, that I'll be blushing by mad but for now, I'm good. Stretching my arms over my head, I wandered over to Kyoya.

"Hey, what was the point of dressing Haruhi and Honey up in disguises when we were just going to follow them in the first place?"

He pushed up his glasses. "You were asleep and didn't hear the discussion earlier, but Tamaki wanted Haruhi to wear the middle school uniform because he believed she would look 'cute' in it. The twins agreed and when Honey heard, he wanted a costume as well."

"So, in other words, it's just to make Tamaki and Honey happy?"

"Yes."

"I see. I suppose she does look cute in that."

It's better than what she normally wears. Kyoya didn't hear my thoughts, so he probably assumed I liked Haruhi and wrote something down in his notebook. I wasn't about to correct him. It'll be nice to watch his reaction when he finds out I'm a girl and most of his information is wrong. I smirked to myself and followed the others as they entered the classroom. Honey was playing a recorder while everyone was reminiscing.

"Ah~ makes me feel nostalgic. We used to be in this classroom too."

"I wonder if the graffiti on the desks are still there."

"They change the desks every year, so I doubt your drawings would still be there."

I hummed to myself as I went and sat down on a desk. I'd never been here before so I had nothing to share. In fact, I was probably only here because I was bored and had nothing better to do. Haruhi silenced everyone as a teacher passed and I pulled on my headphones to sing quietly to myself as we followed them down the hall. I knew the whole plot anyway and this was one of the less interesting mini plots that I never really cared for. I always love the beach and the jungle pool SOS parts, but I totally forgot when those happen. I just know their after each other and before the Lobelia chicks come up. I shivered in disgust at the thought of the Zuka club as a good song came on.

"Some nights, I stay up cashing in my bad luck

Some nights, I call it a draw

Some nights, I wish that my lips could build a castle

Some nights, I wish they'd just fall off

But I still wake up, I still see your ghost

Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for oh

What do I stand for? What do I stand for?

Most nights, I don't know anymore...

Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa oh oh

Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa oh oh

This is it, boys, this is war - what are we waiting for?

Why don't we break the rules already?

I was never one to believe the hype - save that for the black and white

I try twice as hard and I'm half as liked, but here they come again to jack my style

And that's alright; I found a martyr in my bed tonight

She stops my bones from wondering just who I, who I, who I am

Oh, who am I? mmm... mmm...

Well, some nights, I wish that this all would end

Cause I could use some friends for a change

And some nights, I'm scared you'll forget me again

Some nights, I always win, I always win...

But I still wake up, I still see your ghost

Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh

What do I stand for? What do I stand for?

Most nights, I don't know…"

I watched with amusement as Tamaki used his charm to get more information on a nearby girl as I continued to sing softly in the background, not noticing the pair of eyes that had been on me constantly since I started.

"So this is it? I sold my soul for this?

Washed my hands of that for this?

I miss my mom and dad for this?

No. When I see stars, when I see, when I see stars, that's all they are

When I hear songs, they sound like this one, so come on

Oh, come on. Oh, come on, OH COME ON!

Well, that is it guys, that is all - five minutes in and I'm bored again

Ten years of this, I'm not sure if anybody understands

This one is not for the folks at home; Sorry to leave, mom, I had to go

Who the fuck wants to die alone all dried up in the desert sun?

My heart is breaking for my sister and the con that she call "love"

When I look into my nephew's eyes...

Man, you wouldn't believe the most amazing things that can come from...

Some terrible lies…"

This part was auto-tuned in the song, but I just sang it an octave lower and it sounded just as good. I could care less that Tamaki had just thrown Shiro over his shoulder.

"Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa, oh oh

Oh whoa, oh whoa, oh whoa, oh oh

The other night, you wouldn't believe the dream I just had about you and me

I called you up, but we'd both agree

It's for the best you didn't listen

It's for the best we get our distance... oh...

It's for the best you didn't listen

It's for the best we get our distance... oh…"

The song drifted off into silence and I gave a small smile as I removed my headphones and walked calmly behind a majority of the group as they went to catch up with Tamaki. The only one walking with me was Kyoya.

"What's it called?"

"Huh?"

He sighed. "The song you were singing a moment ago. What is it called?"

I flushed a bit, now that I knew that he had heard me singing.

"I-It's called, 'Some Nights' by Fun. I liked it the moment I heard it and it's one of my favorite songs, even though the meaning's a bit sad."

"Hm. Have you finally fixed your problems?"

I blinked once at that question and turned to him in surprise. He almost sounds caring.

"It would begin to affect the profits in the host club if you stayed depressed for too long."

Nevermind. Same old Kyoya. "I suppose. Nothing's really solved, but I finally talked to someone about it so the burden has lightened up a bit."

He stayed quiet, reaching to push up his glasses again, but I grabbed a hold of his hand.

"Stop that."

"Excuse me?"

The glare he gave me made me want to melt, but I stood my ground.

"I-It's annoying. You shouldn't always be trying to hide behind your glasses like that. You should show your emotions every once in a while, you know."

He yanked his arm out of my grip and gave me a look so malicious, that I winced and shrunk back.

"I could say the same to you."

With that, he stormed off with the dignity of a king while I stood there in shock; my legs turning into jelly. W-What? You need some ice for that burn? I scowled and yanked Fu-kun's tail to get him to shut up as my legs returned to their solid form and I was able to walk again. I hurried up to the club room and stopped just inside the room as Tamaki began playing the piano. Haruhi wasn't the only one in shock. This is so much better than the anime. I wish I could play that good. He slowed to a stop with his hands still hovering over the keys.

"From what I saw, it looks like she wanted to play the piano with you."

He gave a sweet smile that even had my heart skip a beat before he ruined it by shouting, "A one-week long concentrated extreme practice!"

"Eh?!"

I sighed, but strolled up to Haruhi as she continued to stand there in a state of shock. What are you doing? Moving the story along, of course. Leaning over her shoulder so that I could whisper in her ear, I smirked devilishly.

"He's good, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Beautiful piano."

"Yeah."

"You like him, don't you?"

"Yea-Wait, what?! Kohaku-kun!"

I laughed and dashed off as Tamaki had heard Haruhi call my name informally (kun is friendlier than senpai or san) and proceeded to distracted her as I made my escape. I could still hear them as I left the music room.

"Why won't you call me Tamaki-kun?!"

"Because, senpai! Now let me go!"

I chuckled and went home to prepare for the coming up week of boredom, now that Tamaki was teaching Shiro for the next week. Ah, what a wonderfully relaxing week it will be.

My God, was I wrong.

"Crap, crap, crap, CRAP! Where's my manuscript?! I still need to shower and get ready for the stupid piano concert AND meet up with my manager for the next installment. Gah! Why the hell are there piano sheets mixed in with my papers?!"

I threw paper after paper around the room, regretting bringing my manuscript with me to school to work on during Tamaki's training. A knocking came to my door and I scrambled through the mountain of papers to get the door. Panting, I freaked as Haruhi stood outside the door with her hand raised to knock again.

"What? What? What?!"

"Um, we need to leave now if we want to be at school on time, uh, is everything okay?"

"No, no, no. Nothing's okay! I can't find my manuscript. I still need to shower, and I keep finding these piano sheets everywhere!"

I waved a handful of said sheets and continued to frantically search the room as Haruhi picked up Fu-kun, who wanted nothing more than to escape my insane searching spree. Haruhi came forward to pick up something, but I turned, stopping her.

"Don't touch that! Believe it or not, everything in here is organized to my own system. You move anything and I'll have to start over."

"O-Okay. Um, you said piano sheets, right? Is it possible that you grabbed the piano sheets that Tamaki used for Shiro-san and he has your manuscript?"

The papers I had dropped to the floor.

"Say that again?"

"You grabbed the-"

"No, the other part. About Tamaki."

"He has your manuscript?"

"Agh! Out of everyone who could get a hold of it, why him?! Wait…maybe he didn't read it. Tamaki wouldn't just read something that wasn't his. The most he would do is search for the owner."

I ran around the room and scooped up any and all piano sheets, double checking that I had all the pages and that they were in the right order, before shoving them into Haruhi's arms.

"Hold this."

"W-What? Where are you going? We need to leave, Kohaku-kun!"

"I'll be quick!"

The shower I took lasted virtually seconds and I came out in my uniform with my wet hair still dripping down into my face and my shirt sticking to my skin. Grabbing the papers and my bag, I tugged Haruhi out the door (locking it, of course) and hurried to the school.

After classes, I dashed to the music room without Honey and Mori and ran in gasping for air. Hands on my knees, I held out the music sheets and glared at Tamaki.

"Give…me…my…manuscript!"

He blinked once before what I said finally penetrated his thick skull and a smile, of all things, appeared on his face. It wasn't just your normal smile either. I could feel the evil intentions behind it. Well, they weren't really evil, but you get the idea. Tamaki was up to something.

"Kohaku-senpai! I'm so glad you found the music! I though for sure that I'd have to print out another copy!"

My eye twitched. He's messing with me. What I have is unimportant and easily replaceable, but what he has is impossible to reproduce with the small amount of time I have left before the meeting. Conniving little-He's been hanging around Kyoya too long.

"Where's. My. Manuscript?"

He looked slightly taken aback, having never seen me seriously angry or anything other than the shy, quiet persona I usually had. But he quickly brought the smile back up. He walked over to the table behind him and held up the manuscript.

"You mean this? It was such a beautiful piece! Why didn't my son tell me he could write so elegantly?"

"You never asked. Now give it-"

"It's such a wonderful story! I adore the main character, Kaede, and his quest to find the loved one of his long lost memories! Without his family there to care for him, it is admirable how he travels the world as a rogue samurai searching for the truth!"

Tamaki was so off into the world I had invented that he didn't notice me come up and snatch the manuscript right out of his hand. The look on my face had his smile disappearing in seconds. I was absolutely livid at the fact that someone other than myself and my manager had read the story before it was published. Not to mention the fact that someone discovered that I was the one who wrote it (I wrote under a pseudonym/pen name) and that Tamaki had so blatantly disregarded my privacy.

"And here I trusted you enough to think you wouldn't read it. Seems I was mistaken."

The other hosts walked in at that moment and I stormed off to the changing room to put on the suit we were supposed to wear for the mini-concert. Fixing the tie as I walked out, I tried to force the scowl off my face in an attempt to hide the fact that I was pissed at Tamaki. Surprisingly, he wasn't moping in a corner but I could still see that his cheery smile was forced and that he wouldn't even look in my direction. Don't you think you were a bit too harsh on him? It's not like he told the world that you were the author. I doubt he even told the other host club members. It'll slip. Especially from him. Tamaki's the biggest gossip in the whole school aside from Renge and if she finds out about it. I clenched my fist and grit my teeth at the though, before relaxing and mumbling to myself.

"Just relax. Act like Kyoya-kun. All smiles. No feeling. This is business. Nothing more."

Letting out a breath, I walked to where the other hosts were lined up and welcomed Shiro's little crush.

"Welcome, Princess."

Tamaki helped her to her seat and the two of the kids began playing, easing the built up tension I had. Slowly, I began to think back on my actions toward Tamaki and a gnawing in my stomach informed me of the huge amount of guilt I was wallowing in. As soon as the two kids finished their performance, I changed out of my clothes and opened the door to find Tamaki. Although, I found him a bit sooner than I expected when I ran into him outside the changing room.

"Ah, Tamaki! I-I…I'm-"

He bowed low at the waist, causing me to blush brightly in embarrassment as the other hosts gave us odd looks.

"I apologize, senpai, for the wrong that I have committed. I should not have invaded your privacy like that and, as such, I sincerely hope you will forgive me."

"U-Um, I don't understand why you're talking to me like that, b-but I'll forgive you. I shouldn't have s-snapped at you like that a-anyway. Anyone w-would be curious."

I looked off to the side as Tamaki lifted his head and smiled, pulling me into a hug. The other host club members seemed confused, but Kyoya smiled like he knew what was going on. Finally tugging Tamaki off me, I looked at him sternly.

"But you can't tell anyone that I'm the author. I go under a pen name for a reason. Okay?"

He nodded enthusiastically and I gave a small smile in return, which caused him to hug me again.

"So cute!~"

"No fair!"

"We want to hug…"

"…Kohaku-senpai too!"

The twins joined the hug for their own reasons and soon Honey became jealous and jumped in, dragging Mori in as well. Then Tamaki snatched Haruhi and Kyoya so we were all one giant hugging mess. Even Fu-kun seemed to be hugging my head with his stubby paws. With all the laughter surrounding me, I started to laugh too and returned the hug as I finally understood what it is I should be doing. I won't forget about my family or my old life but, for now, I will try my best with this second chance that I've been given with my new family; the host club. Couldn't have said it better myself.