Chapter 18

Vincent handed me a leather jacket. I nodded. The groceries had been put in the storage container of the motorcycle were the leather jacket had once been kept and locked up with the belt that kept seat on. My mind was screaming thoughts of self-preservation, "Change your mind. Demand to get off, walk home." I thought as I adjusted my legs to make sure I didn't hit the burner.

"Put your foot her-" Vincent started glancing down towards my feet, he turned back to starting the engine. "You ready?" He was about to ask as I shrugged making him laugh slightly quickly afterwards revving the motorcycle. "Right, right." He muttered placing a foot down on the ground as he reached back grabbing my wrists which he proceeded to wrap around himself. "You know how to ride a motorcycle. So what's scaring you isn't this, no matter how much you tell yourself it is." Vincent gave an indistinct smile, he pressed his foot against the gas, holding it down until I was sure that the motorcycle couldn't handle what he was doing to it anymore. The bike launched.

A fury of wind brushed past us, rushing faster and faster, as he picked up the speed on his motorcycle, "Who taught you to ride a motorcycle?"

The wind gusted past my arms seeping in through the jacket as I tightened my grip around him. "Don't do that too much. I might accidentally think you like me." Vincent laughed throwing his head back. My whole body flinched, my hands tightening against his jacket before I heard it, my voice making sure not to betray me as my breathing hitched. The bike swerved into the empty streets picking up pace.

I glanced towards Vincent waiting for an explanation on what was happening. At first his driving was considerably dangerous, but he was well over the speed limit now. My heart sped up. Out of the back of his eye he glanced down towards me. I gave him a quizzical look, "Just keep your head down." He shouted over the winds, I nodded pressing my head into his jacket as he swerved the bike unnaturally yet again.

I wanted this. Whatever the buzzing feeling was that was running through my hands at the current moment in time, I wanted it to be there and to stay. "Did you just smile?" Vincent asked. "Place your head down and close. We're going to go a lot faster. I want to get out of here before whoever is firing at us offers another round." He stated.

Vincent reached for a switch, with a quick click the motorcycle began exerting blue flames. I glanced down towards the label then back towards Vincent ignoring the illegal substance as I hoped that we didn't ignite in flames. I felt my arms relax, "Don't do that! When the bike picks up hold on like your life depends on it." Vincent shouted.

I blinked open my eyes as the dizzying blurred images seemed to slow down and disappear as Vincent took a slightly gentler turn into what appeared to be the neighborhood of where I was when I was walking around lost when I had first arrived within this town. I glanced around as Vincent flicked the switch on his motorcycle the other way.

Vincent glanced towards the motorcycle, "It'll be our secret" He explained as I nodded my mind more preoccupied with this city. "It'll take another fifteen minutes to get to your house from here. I had to take the backway because of whoever that was back there." Vincent explained as I nodded glancing towards a wall. The graffiti I had been staring down when I first arrived littered the wall.

I got off the bike at my aunt's unhooking the helmet holding it out to him as he exchanged it for my aunt's groceries. Vincent's hand brushing away the hair that hung in front of my face.

"Something like that won't happen next time" He whispered, then he left. His words excelling at the job of camouflaging the emotions that were raw inside his eyes. He was blazing with two different types of emotions. Anger and fear. He was shaking with it. As if he would explode any minute with the inability to release it. I slipped my shoes off at the door.

Letting a sigh of relief escape my lips as I pressed my back against the door sliding downwards to the floor. "Isabel, you're soaked!" Elizabeth's face was a mix between laughing and worry as I glanced up towards her knowing my eyes showing the emotions I was struggling to hide from everyone within this house. The memory I had been suppressing was slowly filling it's way up through my head no matter how much I tried to suppress it.

Elizabeth sunk down next to me, her hands slowly going through my hair with a towel, not a word coming from her.

I pulled my legs closer, ready to sob. I couldn't handle all of the emotions that were building up inside at the contradictions of personalities that the residences displayed. "What took you so long anyway?" Elizabeth asked as I looked back at her.

"I ran into Vincent" I whispered.

"Its obvious you don't like him and-" Elizabeth's voice faded as her eyes dashed to the floor, "He gives me a bad feeling." Elizabeth whispered. I nodded barely listening as I threw the bags from grocery shopping underneath the sink and headed upstairs to my room, Elizabeth offering a second glance outside. "Maybe I should call that thing with my friends off today." she said hesitantly reaching towards the phone. I didn't spare her enough time to talk to me as I headed upstairs quickly to my room as the emotions and logic finally set in with a quick dash of the need for self-preservation.

The opposite of self-preservation sitting on the ledge of the balcony. I gritted my teeth unsure how to react. Tears rushing to my eyes as Youko's yellow eyes turned to face me. "You smell of gasoline and gunpowder." Youko came closer emitting a demanding presence as I backed up fighting with my legs not to turn in on each other as I backed away. Begging my emotions to control themselves for five minutes.

This wasn't right. Something definitely wasn't right tonight. "What's the matter, Isabel?" He asked reaching out his hand as I glanced up at him not hearing my own name instead it felt like he was talking to Bellais. "What's wrong?" He asked as my left hand wrapped around the doorknob, his hand floating over it. "Isabel. Tell me. What happened earlier tonight." I washed as the sudden lightening flashed in the darkened background causing the light to illuminate around him.

It was building up slowly in my chest, slowly but the minute I acknowledge it I knew it would well to the surface. The surface and he would know. It was fear. I was afraid of him. The doorknob shook, "Isabel?"

Youko's hand let go of my wrist. "Isabel, are you afraid of me?" his voice had suddenly become calm and attempted to be composed slowly reluctantly letting go of my wrist. "I think something went wrong when I wanted to explain myself." Youko's face formed into a saddened frown as he turned away from me gracefully leaving I watched him take his foot placing it upon my balcony railing with a slight glance back towards me.

"Youko?! Youko!" I shouted no way had anything happened to him, he wasn't there to worry about. He had jumped down not fallen. Jumped down, and left once he hit the ground. He had jumped. I told myself over and over again and yet I couldn't see the ground no matter how much I leaned. "Youko!?" I shouted waiting for his reply unsure if he was alright or if he just didn't want to reply to me after I had backed away like I was terrified of him. "I was just confused...I wanted to know about who this 'her' was, I wanted to know what was with these images spinning in my head of Bellais, I wanted to know how to make this pain in my heart go away..." I whispered secretly hoping he couldn't hear me at the same time knowing if he could hear me, if he could hear me. He would probably come right back up the balcony and talk it out laughing about how I could be such a drama queen and how much of a misunderstanding that it was. I put my foot down from leaning as I slipped feeling myself fall forwards as I tried to grab the railing my hand slipping off the railing due to being wet as I begun to fall over the railing.

I attempted to dig my nails into the gravel over the stone balcony or at least that's what it looked like through all of the rain. "I guess everything's going to go wrong tonight." I thought to myself briefly a quick review of my night. Stuck out in the pouring rain as I dragged my feet through the city to get to the store, a bike ride with a guy I barely know but learning more about him and about how much patience I had, going through the town I had first arrived in, and a fight with Youko which ended with poorly.

I darted towards the balcony, "Youko, wait!" I shouted. He was gone. It was too late to explain myself. No, I didn't want to explain myself, I wanted him to explain. These images that were racing through my head that I couldn't possibly understand. He had decided to appear in my life of his own accord, he couldn't just walk out leaving it in confusion.

A hand grasped my wrist, I looked up expecting to see Youko, instead a dripping-wet Shuichi stood before me, "You're going out with me, don't think even death can help you escape."

A frown came to my face. I wasn't read to talk to him either. "Go home Shuichi." I barked.

He kneeled in front of me, his eyes scrutinizing me, darting away whenever they would go to look at my wrists. "Are you alright?" he asked leading me inside where he threw a towel over my head and fetched a towel from the closet for himself.

"Isabel?" Elizabeth opened the door, glancing between the two of us, a frail smile decorating her lips, "Nevermind." She whispered closing the door.

"Elizabeth, wait" I stood up.

"Isabel. Pack your things." Shuichi whispered.

"I can't just go somewhere because you say to!" I reached for my sleeves tugging at them so that the bruises were visible. "Is this the kind of way you treat your friends?"

I waited for him to look away with that twisted look of pity and shame that crossed his face. His hands rested on mine, "Isabel, I am sorry. I am." He paused, "I'm not used to people. I've spent far too much time being a ruffian then you would ever imagine." It was my turn for my eyebrows to knit themselves. The ever-polished Shuichi spending time being a ruffian wasn't something that I could picture when I first arrived. I glanced at my wrists. "I didn't mean to hurt you. For a minute it felt as though you were going to evaporate."

I knew it wasn't like him. I was waiting for him to speak of the heart of the problem. The reason he had become like that in the first place. "Say it." I growled. I wanted the truth to spill out, he thought I was a monster and there wasn't much I could do about it. "You think I'm a murdering arsonistic unstable psychopath." I glared at him. I knew what he was doing he was doing two things, ruminating over the situation and searching for a way out.

I searched the desk searching for tools to defend myself. This was the only reason he was here. He was here to carry out his own ideals of justice. He pulled a chair forwards, sitting cross-legged, meeting me in the eye, "You act like you're the only one who's ever killed a person."