Chapter 5: Cat Ladies and Revenge

Ooh, look, a shiny new chapter! Someone get the Master Ball!

Sorry I was gone so long guys. I was actually cramming for exams. I'm taking them this week, so me writing a new chapter this week is pretty nil. Also, I'm going to be a part of a student film, and I'm visiting colleges this summer, so updates probably won't be very quick. But thanks for sticking with me all this time. It really means a lot to me.

"Eric, what's the difference between boys and girls?" Valerie asked her guardian.

Eric cringed. "Well, uh, boys like sports-"

Valerie pursed her lips. "I like sports too."

"Boys like wearing pants."

"I like wearing pants too."

"Boys think they're tougher than girls."

Valerie glared at Eric. "They are not!"

He gave a chuckle. "I know they're not, but at your age they think so."

"I don't like it," she said. "Elija said I couldn't play football with him and the other boys because I was a girl."

"Oh? And what did you do?"

"I kicked him in the between the legs, just like you showed me."

"Please hurry, Kimiko!" Omi begged her. "I cannot wait to see the Tiger Claws in action."

"Cool your jets, Omi," Kimiko chided him.

It was the day after the Emperor's Palace Showdown, and everyone was in the courtyard of the Xiaolin Temple, awaiting their turn to use the Golden Tiger Claws.

"Let me get this straight," Raimundo said aloud. "The Tiger Claws can transport you anywhere in the world." It was like he couldn't believe it.

"That's the story," Clay said as Kimiko got into position.

"Golden Tiger Claws!" she yelled. She slashed the air above her, and a rip in the fabric of reality was created, revealing a swirling, gray vacuum. Kimiko fearlessly jumped up into the rip, to the astonishment of the other Dragons. The rip in reality quickly faded after her.

"Where do you think she went?" Valerie asked. A second later, a human-like echo could be heard from the mountains around the temple.

"That answer your question?" Clay inquired.

Another second later, another rip in reality appeared, and Kimiko dropped back onto the ground. Omi was instantly on her.

"What was it like? Where did you go? Did you bring me a present?"

"In order: tight, the mountain top, a little breezy, and sorry, no." Kimiko didn't look sorry. She walked over to the others. "You're up, Val."

Valerie took the Claws from Kimiko and put them on, the cool metal of the guards covered in orange fur. "Got any advice before I go?" Valerie asked Kimiko.

"Just decide where you wanna go, and the Claws take you there. And keep your hands and feet inside the tunnel at all times."

"Golden Tiger Claws!" Valerie cried before slashing the air next to her. She jumped into the gray, swirling vortex before the reality rip closed.

Kimiko was right; it was tight in the gray, swirly tunnel. Valerie spun in circles, the air lukewarm and making her sick. But before she could throw up her lunch, the vortex opened up, and Valerie fell into Eric's living room.

It was just how she left it: a tan couch with a clear, round coffee table in front of it, three fancy armchairs in front of the fireplace, and an Oriental rug hanging on the wall. Valerie didn't see Eric in there, so she hurried into the cozy kitchen, where she found him making himself lunch.

The kitchen was small, with a brown, round table fit for three people, an old gas stove, a white refrigerator, a sink, and wooden cabinets on the wall with a phone attached to the wall. The stove was on with a big metal pot on it, and the smell of garden herbs permeated the air. Eric was standing over a counter with vegetables surrounding him, a knife in his hands as he grabbed some scallions.

"Eric?" Valerie called out tentatively. Startled, Eric whirled around, knife in his hands as if preparing to defend himself. He calmed down when he saw it was just Valerie.

"Val! You're wearing a dress?"

Valerie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, the apocalypse is coming, I know." She suddenly grinned and opened her arms. "I missed you."

Putting down the knife, Eric went over to her and hugged her, nearly lifting her in the air. "Don't be so excited!" Valerie laughed. "I'm only here for a minute."

Setting her down, Eric asked, "What do you mean?"

Valerie pointed to the Tiger Claws. "This is the Shen Gong Wu Master Fung was talking about. It allows the wielder to travel anywhere in the world."

Eric gave a low whistle. "Now that's something. I guess that means to Xiaolin Temple isn't a crime ring after all."

"No it isn't. How've you been?"

"I'm dating again."

Valerie lifted one eyebrow. "Really? You haven't done that in a while. Who's the lucky lady?"

Eric grinned suddenly, his dark eyes sparkly. "A wonderful lady I met in Geneva. She's a black belt in karate."

"Figured you'd go for someone like that. What's her name?"

"Victoria."

"Don't let her break your heart. I have to go now, okay?" Valerie pulled Eric into another hug before she ripped another hole in the fabric of reality. Eric waved goodbye as the rip closed.

Back at the Xiaolin Temple, Valerie had to stop Omi from jumping her to get to the Claws. "Your turn Clay," she said just to be spiteful.

But before he went, Clay asked, "So where'd you go?"

"Switzerland."

"What was it like?" Omi asked.

A soft smile came over Valerie's lips. "Homey."

Satisfied with that answer, Clay yelled, "Golden Tiger Claws!" and jumped into the reality rip he created.

"Where do you think he is going?" Omi asked excitedly.

"Probably someplace with an all-you-can-eat buffet," Raimundo said, since they had all seen how Clay could eat.

A moment later, Clay reappeared, holding a plate with a steak the shape of Texas. "No place like Billy-Bob's Texas-style All-You-Can-Eat Buffet," he said happily.

As Clay sat down to enjoy his meal, Omi ran up to him, saying, "My turn, my turn!" Only Raimundo wouldn't have that. Grabbing the Claws out of Clay's hands, Raimundo yelled, "Golden Tiger Claws!" and disappeared.

"Hey, not fair!" Omi cried as Raimundo reappeared behind him.

"You want these?" he taunted as Omi tried to reach for them. Knowing he was too short to get them, Omi bent down and swiped his leg at Raimundo's feet, only to have him vanish again.

"Come and get them." Now Raimundo was next to Omi. Omi tried to punch him, only to have Raimundo appear behind him.

"To the left of Omi!" Raimundo taunted before Clay grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and lifted him out of the reality rip.

"Now hold your horses, partner," he chided.

Kimiko grabbed the Claws from Raimundo. "It's Omi's turn."

"Let the little guy have his fun," Valerie said as Omi put them on. As Clay let Raimundo go, Omi began to correct Valerie.

"While I appreciate your help, I must point out that I am not little. I simply have a small build."

"My mistake," Valerie said good-naturedly.

"At last, I have the Golden Tiger Claws to wield. Golden Tiger Claw-"

"Drop everything!" yelled out Dojo, who was slithering over carrying the Ancient Scroll with Master Fung in tow.

"A new Shen Gong Wu has revealed itself," Fung explained.

"Talk about rotted timing," Omi grumbled.

"Rotten timing," Kimiko corrected him.

"That too."

Master Fung opened the Ancient Scroll to reveal the Changing Chopsticks. "What's up with the glowing legs?" Raimundo asked dumbly.

"They're chopsticks," Kimiko said, annoyed.

"The Changing Chopsticks are a wondrous Shen Gong Wu," Master Fung explained. "They allow the user to shrink down to the size of a grain of rice."

"Ooh, real scary," Raimundo said sarcastically.

"Hey, the bigger they are, the harder they fall." Dojo wagged a finger in the boy's face. "So, the smaller they are, uhh…"

"The lighter they fall?"

"Yeah, that's it."

"Maybe, if I am lucky, I will be able to use the Golden Tiger Claws in a Xiaolin Showdown!" Omi said excitedly. "Let us remove the lead!"

"Get the lead out," Kimiko corrected him.

"That too!"

Dojo led them to Easter Island, where all those giant stones with carved faces in them were scattered all over the place. The Dragons hid behind one of those stones as they spied on a cat girl walking around, looking for the Shen Gong Wu.

Seriously; there was a blond girl wearing a skin tight black suit with a tail, ears, and claws of a cat. And everyone criticized Valerie for always wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and a baseball hat. What was wrong with wearing a white band shirt with the Beatles on it, anyway?

"Who is that?" Omi asked the others.

"And what's with the tacky costume?" Kimiko asked while wearing a purple wig with four buns attached, paired with a black camisole with a smiley face on the front, a purple skirt, yellow stockings, and black tennis shoes.

"Hey," the cat girl called out to Jack and Wuya, pointing to a carved stone face. "Are these your sticks?" Inserted in the nostrils of the face were the Changing Chopsticks.

"Well done, Katnappe," Wuya congratulated the girl. "It's nice to know someone around here's useful." Jack gave a little whimper at that.

Valerie knew what was going to happen next: Katnappe would grab the Changing Chopsticks and they'd have to fight over it that way. That seemed awfully tedious to her. And quite frankly, Valerie was itching to have her own Showdown. Just about everyone had had one already; it was high time she brawled for a Shen Gong Wu.

So just as Katnappe reached over to get the Chopsticks out, Valerie ran outside the circle of statues and sneakily slapped her hand on the Chopsticks just as Katnappe touched them. She quickly got the Golden Tiger Claws out of her back pocket. She had promised Omi that if he let her use it in a Showdown, he'd have full reign over it for an entire day. A small price to pay for her first Showdown.

"Valerie!" Wuya hissed.

"'Sup, Wuya," she greeted her casually. "I got nothing personal against Cat Girl, but I can't let you have the Changing Chopsticks." Valerie turned to Katnappe. "I challenge you, Katnappe, to a Xiaolin Showdown!"

"Okay," the blonde said slowly.

"Ha!" Jack scoffed, appearing next to her. "She can't do a Showdown; she's Shen Gong Wu-less…if that's a word."

"Which is why you will give her yours," Wuya ordered him in her creepy voice.

"Say what?!"

"Hand over the Fist of Tebigong."

"Only because I think this'll teach you a lesson," Jack finally conceded. He pressed a button on his cyber-punk watch and a box connected to a bendy pole appeared out of his backpack. Opening it, Jack got out the Fist of Tebigong and handed it over to Katnappe.

"What's the challenge, Val?" Jack inquired.

"Since this is Katnappe's first Showdown, we'll go with something simple: tag. Whoever gets tagged first loses."

"Tag?" Katnappe repeated incredulously. "Meow."

"Let's go: Xiaolin Showdown!" Valerie cried, and a bright light surrounded the island, forcing it to shift to fit the needs of the Showdown. Dark, green clouds hovered over the playing field, and the ancient statues turned to wood with strange facial markings. And then the statues moved towards the players, creating a ring big enough to hold both fighters plus the audience.

Valerie studied Katnappe as the field settled down. She seemed calm for someone about to have her first Showdown. "You seem pretty good at this," she said to her. "Jack was freaking out when he first started out."

"I like to stay cool like a cat in any situation," Katnappe said. "Well, that, and Jack's an idiot."

"Hey!"

"Blah, blah, blah…" the cat girl said. "How do we start this thing?"

"She doesn't even know how to Showdown!" Jack said.

"Hush, boy!" Wuya scolded him.

"We start like this: GONG YI TAN PAI!" Valerie yelled, showing off her Claws.

"Fist of Tebigong!" Katnappe cried, hitting the ground. The ground split towards Valerie, who shook along with the earth before finally falling on her butt. The Tiger Claws flew from her hands and towards Katnappe, only to have said Claws skitter towards the ground.

Valerie launched herself at the Claws, only to have Katnappe snatch them up. Valerie flipped over and round house kicked her in the head, only to have the cat girl dodge. Luckily Valerie's foot connected with the Fist of Tebigong, and it was sent sailing away from Katnappe.

"Tiger Claws!" Katnappe shouted, opening a rip in reality and disappearing through it. Valerie grabbed the Fist of Tebigong and put it on. She silently cursed herself for her stupidity. She shouldn't have assumed that Katnappe would be an easy fight to win. Hadn't she proved she had nerves of steel when the Showdown started? And she had used the Fist of Tebigong easily. Katnappe was not someone to be trifled with.

Valerie heard the sound of a reality rip behind her. She whirled around and threw the Fist of Tebigong into the vortex. The metal collided with a head; an 'OW!' sound could be heard. Katnappe dropped out of the reality rip on her back, little yellow birds fluttering around her head.

Valerie reached a hand for Katnappe only to be swept off her feet. Katnappe had moved at the last second-she hadn't been hurt at all. With a sweeping hand Katnappe cleared Valerie off the ground and lifted her up by the ankle.

With an evil smile, she said, "Tag, you're it."

And thus the Showdown ended with one humiliating defeat for Valerie and one awesome victory for Katnappe.

Back at the temple, everyone was crowding around Valerie in the Grand Hall, even though she would have preferred to stew over her failed Showdown and talk to Eric about it alone. Then she figured that they were just being nice. She might as well tell them how she felt.

"My first Showdown and I lose badly." Valerie shook her head. "That's pathetic."

Kimiko put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Don't beat yourself up. Sure, it would have been nice to get the Chopsticks-"

Omi cut her off with a sarcastic, "Chopsticks? Oh, yes, the Changing Chopsticks. Because the Golden Tiger Claws are so much less impressive than the wondrous Changing Chopsticks!" Omi, who hadn't been able to use the Claws, had every right to be mad at Valerie for losing them. After she had promised him too…

"Good cover," Raimundo remarked sardonically. "We completely bought it."

Valerie put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm really, really sorry for losing the Claws. But we can still get them back. It sucks that I lost-especially like that- but it's best to move on and plan our next attack."

Omi, who had been scowling at her, slowly began to smile.

"On the contrary, Valerie," Master Fung said, suddenly appearing down the hallway. "There are no lessons in victory, but a thousand in defeat."

"How can that be true, Master?" Omi inquired from his mentor.

"Don't make any sense to me," Clay agreed.

Master Fung held up a green, clay, ornate elephant. "Allow me to illustrate. I challenge you to steal this elephant from me. If you succeed, no chores for one week."

"Yeah!" the Dragons said in unison. What? They were normal teenagers-they hated doing chores just like the next person.

"But," Master Fung warned, "if you lose, you must hand scrub the floors of the Grand Hall."

"Ehh…"

"Those are some mighty steep stakes, Master Fung," Clay said.

"We can do it," Kimiko said cheerfully.

"No doubt," went Raimundo.

"Eh, why not?" allowed Valerie. No harm in possibly losing once more, right?

"We accept your challenge!" Omi declared, throwing his fist in the air.

Five minutes later, Master Fung was standing in the middle of the Grand Hall with the green elephant at his feet.

As Omi silently climbed the ceiling, Kimiko and Raimundo acted as distractions by aiming for the left and front of their master. Clay was at his right, swinging a lasso, while Valerie stayed back for a bit.

Omi jumped down from the ceiling to snatch the elephant, but Master Fung kicked it up with his foot and into his hands. "Too obvious," he chided the young monk.

As Omi rolled away, Kimiko immediately went on the offensive. She kicked at Fung's shoulder; he blocked it with his palm. She tried to punch him; he blocked them with his palm. Kimiko tried jumping up and hitting him; Master Fung threw the elephant in the air and tossed Kimiko aside gently.

Catching the elephant, Master Fung said, "Perhaps you do not wish to win."

Setting the elephant down, Fung prepared for Raimundo's wild attack-screaming and launching himself at the opponent. Raimundo aimed at Fung's feet to knock him off, but Fung kicked him up into his arms and threw him over his head, forcing him to slide away.

Valerie chose that moment to walk up to Fung, no martial art poses. She bowed down low respectfully and said, "Please give us the elephant."

"No."

"Can't say I didn't try." With a battle cry, Valerie jumped up, flipped, and swung her foot down on Master Fung's head, only to have him grab her foot and throw her behind him.

With that distraction, Clay was able to lasso the elephant. "Gotcha!" he cheered. But before he could reel it in, Master Fung revealed a hammer and smashed the clay elephant to bits, destroying Clay's plan.

"Well, that's plum disappointing," Clay said as he reeled in his empty lasso.

"Hey, he broke it!" Raimundo cried. "Can he do that?"

"Master, how could we win such a contest?" Omi asked, puzzled.

"You couldn't," was Master Fung's answer.

"What?" exclaimed Kimiko.

"Your goal, my young Dragons in training, was to win, while mine was simply not to lose. That is victory enough to me."

"Okay, that's one lesson," Raimundo admitted. "What are the other nine hundred and ninety nine?"

Master Fung held up a wooden bucket full of warm, soapy water and a bristly brush (where'd he get those?). "Perhaps you'll learn them as you scrub the Grand Hall. Don't forget to get in between the tiles."

The Dragons in training were not happy he remembered.

A few minutes later, they were all scrubbing the floors, even getting in between the tiles like Master Fung said. Not that they wanted to.

"Whoo!" Raimundo cheered as he slid across the floor, his brushes tied to his feet.

"You are supposed to hand scrub the floor, Raimundo!" Omi reminded him.

"You're being too literal!" Raimundo exclaimed, sliding towards Valerie. "Besides, this is more fun!" Valerie quickly moved her bucket away before Raimundo could knock it over.

"I don't think skatin' is one of the thousand lessons we're supposed to be learnin'," Clay retorted.

"One lesson is proper scrubbing techniques," Omi said cheerfully. "I find that circular motions work best. Kimiko, you missed a spot." He pointed a bit away from him, where Kimiko was.

"Thanks," she mumbled. "Oh, what's that?" Kimiko pointed to Omi's right.

"What?" he inquired. While he was distracted, Kimiko sneakily threw some dirt from the nearest potted plant near Omi.

"Sorry, my mistake. Oh, you missed a spot, too, Omi."

Omi immediately began to scrub it. "Oh, my, thank you Kimiko. I have learned a lesson in diligence. Only nine hundred and ninety eight to go."

The next morning was hell for the youths. Valerie's arms felt like lead weights attached to cement blocks as she walked, and her legs felt like they were about to give out on her. After trying to walk, Valerie gave up on that and fell on the floor, just lying there.

"My limbs freaking hurt," Valerie moaned. "And the floor is so comfy. Why hadn't I noticed before?"

"I feel like I just got off a bull," Clay moaned while rubbing his arms. "Or maybe a bull just got off of me."

Raimundo massaged his legs; apparently, the fun way wasn't all that was cracked up to be.

Kimiko couldn't even use her laptop. "It even hurts to Web surf," she griped, having to manually lift one wrist so she could type with the other finger.

Only Omi wasn't complaining, as he was upside down, using his bulbous head for balance. And then he said, "All the soreness is rushing to my head. Ow." He fell over on his back, unable to move.

"Hey, guys, look at this," Kimiko called from her laptop.

"Sure hope this is worth the walk," Clay griped as he and the other dragged themselves over to Kimiko. Even Valerie, who didn't want to leave her spot on the floor, moved like an inchworm to where Kimiko was. Who needed walking anyway?

"There are a dozen stories on the Internet about a girl in a cat costume robbing stores and then disappearing."

"Katnappe!" Clay revealed.

"Obviously," Valerie said sarcastically.

"We must stop her!" Omi announced just as he began to shake like gelatin mold. "…As soon as I stop the wobbling in my legs."

A tinny sound from the laptop announced that Kimiko had a news alert. "She's at the Mall of the World!" Kimiko revealed.

"Revenge is mine!" Valerie declared her face halfway in the carpet.

Five minutes later

"You want me to take you to the mall?" Dojo asked incredulously from above the Shen Gong Wu vault. "Is this official Xiaolin business or are we just gonna hang out at the food court?"

"It is most official, Dojo," Omi reassured the reptile.

"Katnappe's using the Golden Tiger Claws to commit crimes," Valerie explained.

"What?" Dojo was instantly in his fully grown form. "Climb on! We got a cat to declaw."

Valerie wished she had enough time to check out the bookstores in the Mall of the World. She had to thank Katnappe for ruining it.

Said cat girl was marveling over her haul in the middle of the mall. "Katnappe!" Omi cried, getting her attention. "You are misusing the powers of a Shen Gong Wu! You must surrender!"

Katnappe hissed. "You'll have to catch me first."

"WATER!" Omi cried, launching himself at Katnappe. He aimed for a kick at the Claws, but Katnappe deflected the attack, knocking Omi away. Using the Tiger Claws, she appeared behind Omi tying him up with the rope she had on her. Omi struggled, only to have Katnappe punch him down.

Dojo went to his little buddy's rescue, only to hear hissing behind him. He turned to see three white kitties with red eyes growling at him with razor sharp teeth. Dojo sniffed them, and then asked, "Say, you aren't genetically altered super kittens?"

The kittens hissed and growled, making Dojo say, "This is why I'm not a cat person!" before running off.

"FIRE!" Kimiko cried, getting back to the fight with Katnappe. Using the Monkey Staff, Kimiko tried to hit her with it, but Katnappe had a pole of her own. Deflecting the attack, Katnappe tried to forcefully remove the Monkey Staff from Kimiko hands. But when Kimiko tried to attack back, Katnappe used her Claws again.

A pile of boxes fell on top of Kimiko, trapping her beneath them. Katnappe gloated over the mess.

"WIND!" yelled Raimundo, who jumped towards Katnappe to try and kick her down. But she used her Claws again, appearing behind him and rapidly tying him up.

"Too slow," she taunted as she threw him towards Omi.

"AETHER!" Valerie's voice rang out before she ran, slid, and tried to swipe at Katnappe's feet. Katnappe jumped up and swiped at the air with the Tiger Claws, disappearing from Valerie's view. She reappeared behind the Dragon, tying her up with the same rapid precision with Raimundo, right before throwing her with the other guys.

"Now hold on there, Katnappe," said the resident cowboy. She turned to see Clay standing there in a kung-fu pose.

"Are you going to fight, cowboy, or just stand there?"

"Sorry, ma'am but do you have some men folk I can fight instead?"

"Come on, Clay!" Raimundo yelled at him. "Get her!"

"Sorry, guys, can't do it." Clay tipped his hat to hide his face. "I can't fight a girl."

"That would explain why he won't fight us during practice," Valerie muttered, referring to herself and Kimiko.

Within a second, Katnappe had defeated Clay. She threw him with the other guys, nearly toppling over Omi.

"Man, haven't you heard?" Raimundo told Clay. "Chivalry is dead."

"See you, Xiaolin Warriors!" Katnappe said cheerfully. "I got more shopping to do." And with a swipe of her Claws, Katnappe disappeared.

Dojo chose that moment to slither to the others. "Except for the parts where she slapped us silly and got away, I think that went pretty well."

Riding through the sky on Dojo's back, they pondered where the cat girl would strike next. "Any inspiration yet?" inquired Dojo.

"Not yet," Omi replied.

"Fine; I'll just be flying in circles! Don't mind me!"

"We need a plan to stop Katnappe," Omi said.

"Let's start with where we would find Katnappe," Valerie emphasized. "She could be anywhere."

"You know back home, we have a saying," Clay told them. "'Wanna catch a rooster, go where it crows.'"

"She's already been everywhere I'd go," Kimiko said. "Toy stores, music shops, candy stores…"

"But that's you," Raimundo pointed out. "Where would a cat fanatic go?"

"I'm guessing the dog park is out," Clay joked.

Kimiko got out her laptop and immediately did a Web search. "Got it; Catatonia Land."

"Cata-what-a who Land?" questioned Omi.

"The best amusement park in the world," Kimiko explained. "The scariest roller coasters, the fastest rides, and the best cotton candy anywhere."

"And everything's shaped like cats," Clay said happily.

"Just as long as is doesn't smell like cats," Raimundo grumbled. "Erg."

"That has to be where she is," Valerie said. "Dojo, high tail it to Catatonia Land!"

"Malls, theme parks," Dojo remarked. "You sure you kids aren't just playing hooky?"

The website wasn't kidding.

Cat-themed hats with the ears, rides with tiger stripes and patches, and refreshment stands with cat ears and eyes for the roof. A roller coaster with a loop even had giant metal cat ears on it.

Unfortunately for the Xiaolin monks, the amusement park was huge, and there was no sign of Cat Woman anywhere. How they could miss a girl wearing a skin tight black suit with a trans-dimensional device in her hands was beyond Valerie.

"Oh, maybe I was wrong," Kimiko said sadly. "I don't see any sign of Katnappe."

Omi forced her to move her head to the upper right. "Only because you are looking in the wrong places."

At the top of a roller coaster, in a car with orange and black tiger stripes, was Katnappe. She was throwing her hands in the air and screaming her head off as the ride went down the hill.

"The Nine-Lives Coaster," Raimundo said in awe.

"Can I sit this one out?" Dojo asked, holding his stomach and looking greener than usual. "Roller coasters make me barf."

Kimiko pointed to the gated exit of the ride. "We'll be right there waiting for her when she gets off."

"How can we win when she has already defeated us twice?" Omi inquired glumly. Valerie felt especially guilty at his tone. It was totally her fault that Katnappe had the Golden Tiger Claws; how was she supposed to fix this?

"She packs one heck of a wallop," Clay agreed.

"There are no lessons in victory, but a thousand in defeat," Omi said suddenly, like he was channeling Master Fung. Valerie was getting an idea…

"All I've learned is Clay won't fight a girl!" Raimundo smiled sheepishly as Clay glared at him.

Omi gasped and threw his finger in the air. "I am struck by inspiration!"

"So am I." Valerie turned to Omi, her face grim. "But you won't like it."

When Katnappe walked out of the gates, laughing her haughty laugh, the good guys were ready for her.

"Meow; back for more?" Katnappe inquired. "Sweet! I like kicking your butts."

"It is not our butts that shall be kicked," Omi declared. "Clay?"

Clay walked up to Katnappe with a disarming smile. Tipping his hat, he greeted the villainess with a, "Howdy, ma'am?"

"Oh, right." Katnappe giggled. "You're going to fight me?"

"Nope," Clay said. "I cannot, will not, and should not ever fight a girl. But technically, a bear hug ain't fighting." And then Clay scooped up Katnappe with his arms, enveloping the struggling cat in a giant embrace.

"Hey, let go of me!"

"No can do, ma'am."

"Kitties, attack!" Three white kittens with red eyes jumped out of Katnappe's backpack and began to growl at the Xiaolin Warriors.

"Heads up!" Kimiko ducked down as Valerie caught a kitty in her hands. She grimaced at it before throwing it over at Raimundo. He head butted the kitty over at Omi, who caught it and threw it in an orange trashcan. They repeated the process for the other two kitties.

Omi then jumped and flipped over to the captive Katnappe and removed the Tiger Claws from her hand.

Just as victory seemed certain, Jack appeared in a red, oval chariot followed by three bronze robotic dogs. "I told you my bloodhound-bots could track Katnappe," Jack told Wuya smugly. He then let go of the leashes of the bloodhounds.

The dog bots immediately swarmed the Dragons, and Katnappe's kittens went to protect their mistress. Jack steered the red chariot to them and said, "Hand over the Tiger Claws."

"But I just got them!" Omi protested.

"Yeah, that's a real tear-jerker," Jack scoffed.

Omi took one look at Jack and the bloodhound-bots surrounding him and cried, "Tiger Claws!" With one swipe, a gray rip in reality appeared and sucked in the three bloodhounds. And then Omi threw the Claws into the void, never to be seen again.

"What did you just do?" Jack asked, completely mystified.

"I sent the Golden Tiger Claws to the Earth's core," Omi answered, looking pretty happy with himself. He went over to Valerie and high-fived her with a giant grin on his face. She returned it.

Clay finally let go of Katnappe with a, "It was nice not fightin' with ya, ma'am."

Katnappe ignored him and yelled, "Why did you do that? That's so stupid!"

"Perhaps," Omi told her. "I may never get a chance to use the Golden Tiger Claws, but neither will you."

Katnappe hissed and walked over to Jack. "Get in, Ashley," Jack said meanly as he allowed the cat girl to get in his vehicle. They sped out of the amusement park in defeat.

"So, what do we do now?" Raimundo asked the others.

Valerie looked around the amusement park and said, "Cotton candy, anyone?"

Back at the temple, the five Dragons were meditating in a circle in the shade of a tree. "You okay, Omi?" Kimiko questioned gently. "You really wanted to use those Tiger Claws."

"Sorry I had to make you throw them away," Valerie said sadly. "I still feel really awful about that."

"One does not always get what one wants, Kimiko," Omi said wisely. "And your idea was only in case there was no other option, Valerie. I do not mind the defeat as long as we win in the long run."

Clay sighed. "Guess that's another one of Master Fung's thousand lessons."

"These thousand lessons, I'm not gettin' 'em," Raimundo said. "I get three, maybe four tops."

"So true," Valerie teased.

"Not getting all the lessons are we?" Master asked as he walked up to the Dragons with Dojo on his shoulder. "Then perhaps a refresher is required." Maser Fung held up a simple green clay monkey.

"I shall guard this jade monkey. If you can steal it from me-"

"Pass," said Raimundo before running away.

"Ditto." Kimiko followed suit.

"Not happening." Valerie.

"Wait for me!" Clay.

"I mean no disrespect, Master, but I am so outta here," Omi said, running away.

"Nobody messes with the Fung Man," Dojo said as he high-fived a grinning Master Fung.

Omi with the Golden Tigers Claw for a day? What do you think he would do? Personally, I think he'd go to the Big Apple to see if there really was a big apple there. XD