Chapter 6: Allergies and Thunder Swords
Smell that new chapter smell, people? Have you smelled it yet? Okay, now stop, you're creeping me out. XD LAWL
Anyway, like I said, my summer is pretty hectic. Not only do I have the stuff mentioned last chapter, but I'm planning on going to Youmacon, and I need money to buy costumes and to get in. I got a babysitting job for a few weeks, but it's a nine-hour-a-day job, which doesn't leave much in the way of writing. Nevertheless, I will prevail and give you the chapters you so crave.
On with the show!
At the Xiaolin Temple, Dojo was sneezing it up thanks to some nasty allergies. He called to the other monks and held up the Ancient Scroll.
"I got good news and bad news," Dojo said. "Good news, a new Shen Gong Wu has revealed itself." He opened the scroll to show off the new sword Wu. "The bad news-ah, ah, ACHOOO!" Dojo sneezed and fire escaped from his mouth. "The bad news is that this one makes me sneeze."
"No, the bad news is that I don't have fireproof pants," Raimundo said as he wiped the soot off his monk clothes.
Dojo put his fists on his hips. "Aw, thanks; very supportive."
"We don't need the sarcasm, Dojo," Valerie said, rolling her eyes.
And then Dojo sneezed again, shooting fire and soot out of his mouth once more. Everyone coughed and tried to wave away the smoke.
"Okay, maybe we do need the sarcasm," Valerie admitted as the smoke cleared.
"The Sword of the Storm," Omi revealed today's Shen Gong Wu. "I have studied this particular Shen Gong Wu for many years. There are many things you must be aware of when using this wind Shen Gong Wu…"
Omi then began explaining all he knew about it, but Valerie's mind began to drift to another topic. She probably shouldn't be doing that, but Omi never did know when to shut up and it forced Valerie to pretend that she was listening.
She felt her mind drift to the latest email she got from Eric. They were always doing that, since the time differences made it difficult for a phone call. In the email, Eric had been all about his new girlfriend. According to him, they had first met in Geneva, when Eric had been beating up a pair of ruffians who were harassing a poor girl. Eric was about to lay into the last two when Victoria showed up and took them out using karate and shadow boxing. After they made sure the girl was alright, they went out for a date and had recently become a couple.
Valerie was happy for Eric, she really was, but the relationship seemed to be progressing a bit too quickly for her. Shouldn't they be friends first, and then date? But if they did that, there was the risk of Eric getting friend-zoned… Whatever; Eric was grown up enough to figure it out for himself.
Valerie tuned in for the last bit of the lecture, talking about how the Sword could conjure up winds as strong as tornadoes. "Do you have any questions, Valerie?" Omi asked of her.
Valerie nearly faltered before she made one up. "Can the Sword be used like a real sword or can it just blow wind?"
Omi pondered that for a moment. "I do not recall a warrior ever using it for that purpose, but I believe it can." He turned to Raimundo, who had also been daydreaming. "Do you have any questions about the Sword of the Storm, Raimundo?" Omi inquired of him.
Raimundo faltered a bit, and then said arrogantly, "Yeah, just one. Can you stop flapping your lips and let us go get it already?"
"It's somewhere down there," Dojo said as they flew over islands near Monte Carlo, France. Valerie was glad she had dressed for the weather in old flip flops, dark denim shorts, a white tank top, and a simple white baseball hat with her long hair in a convenient braid.
Kimiko, as usual, was dressed in her Harajuku style with green hair split into three ponytails, a purple ruffle camisole, a purple mini pixie skirt, and black sandals. The boys were dressed normally, so Valerie either assumed they had more than one pair of those particular clothes or they really like wearing them.
Dojo suddenly sneezed, and everyone was thrown into the air like rag dolls. Screaming in fright, they grabbed onto Dojo again as gravity made them plummet.
"I can't tell where the Wu is, what with the allergies and all," Dojo said as everyone calmed down.
"Just get us on the range, Dojo, and we'll do the cow ropin'," Clay said with his usual Southern drawl.
"What?" inquired Raimundo.
"I think he means, 'get us close, and we'll find it'," Kimiko interpreted.
"So why didn't he just say it?" Raimundo asked.
Dojo began to descend, going in circles onto the beach. "What a vibrant city," Omi complimented.
"It's Monte Carlo, France," Valerie noted. "I've been here once. The beaches are awesome. I think you'll like it Raimundo."
"And how do you figure?" Raimundo asked playfully.
"…It's a beach."
"And you're point is?"
"Think about it," Valerie said as Dojo finally descended and reverted back into his normal, small form.
As Raimundo gazed at the waves, he said to Valerie, "Oh, yeah, I like it. It's almost as good as Rio. Almost."
"This is not a vacation," Omi scolded him. "We are here to find the Sword of the Storm. We must stay focused."
"Okay, I will," Raimundo said as he began to ogle a busty lady in a white bikini who happened to be walking by. "I'm always focused."
"Boys," Valerie muttered under her breath.
"Also, remember, if you have any questions, I am an expert on this Shen Gong Wu," Omi said proudly.
"Like you'd ever let us forget," Raimundo said.
Dojo sneezed once more, spreading soot around like an erupting volcano. "I'm sorry, kids, I can't hone in on this one. You're on your own."
"A net cast wide catches more fish," Omi stated as he shook off some soot.
"What?" asked Raimundo.
"I think he means we should split up," Kimiko interpreted.
"Would it kill you guys to just say what you mean?" Raimundo asked before everyone separated. Raimundo went on his own, Clay and Omi went left, and the girls went right.
"So is it true you lived in France?" Kimiko asked as the two of them scoured their part of the beach.
"Who told you?"
"I overheard you telling Rai and Clay."
"Oh, yeah, we were on our first Shen Gong Wu hunt," Valerie reminisced. "What do you want to know?"
"Just exactly where you've been."
Valerie began to count on her fingers. "I was born in Canada, then I moved to Spain, then Italy, then Germany, Poland, Russia, France, then finally Switzerland."
"So, everywhere."
"Just everywhere in Europe. How about you?"
"I've travelled all over Japan," Kimiko explained. "It was usually for my dad's business trips, though."
"What does your dad do for a living?" Valerie asked innocently.
Kimiko seemed to ponder that before saying, "He owns a video game company. How about you?"
"My parents slapped their name on everything from cars to dog food," Valerie said glibly. "That and they're masters when it comes to the world-wide stock market. Who knows; maybe they bought a stock in your dad's company."
"You really think so."
Anything's possible."
"Like one of Jack's new sidekicks coming to take the Shen Gong Wu for him," Kimiko joked.
Valerie looked at her, confused. "What?"
"Oh, didn't I show you?" Kimiko fished out her PDA to reveal a signup sheet for new evil henchmen. "Jack's idea, no doubt," she said.
"Does Jack even have the money for that?" Valerie thought out loud.
"He has an army of robots," Kimiko scoffed. "I think he'd be able to afford a few sidekicks."
"Though I wonder who'd be desperate enough to work for Jack Spicer," Valerie joshed, making the two girls laugh at their mutual enemy.
Suddenly, a sandstorm seemed to overtake the beach, knocking away tourists and beachgoers away. Valerie dodged an umbrella flying towards her and tried to look for the source of the wind.
And then she saw Raimundo up in the air, screaming as he landed in a sand dune, sending up a cloud of dusty sand.
The other Dragons immediately went over to the crash site, looking for him. After a few minutes of searching, Omi asked, "Has anyone seen Raimundo? I fear for his safety."
"All I saw was a giant sandstorm," Kimiko said.
Dojo began to sniff the air. "Hallelujah! My sinuses are clear!"
"Maybe you can use your nose to track down Raimundo," Valerie said seriously.
Just then, Dojo was lifted up into the air by Raimundo's head. He was stuck neck deep in the sand, and he was not looking happy.
"Whoa, Raimundo-bubba," Clay said, shocked. "What happened to you?"
"Well, asides getting sand in my pants, a ninja took the Sword," Raimundo said sheepishly.
"That explains the drained sinuses," Dojo quipped as Clay lifted Raimundo out of the ground.
"You found the Sword of the Storm?" Kimiko asked.
"And you lost it?" Clay asked in disbelief.
"It wasn't my fault!" Raimundo threw up his hands, sending the sand stuck in his sleeves out. "The Sword didn't even work!"
"Did you not remember what I said about this Shen Gong Wu?" Omi patronized Raimundo.
"Well, yeah, course I did." Everyone except Valerie glared at him.
"You didn't hear a word he said, did you?" Kimiko accused him.
"I, uh, might have missed the middle part."
Kimiko groaned and stalked away. Clay said, "Raimundo was defeated by a wind Shen Gong Wu? But ain't wind your Dragon element?"
"Yeah, yeah, I get the point, I messed up! Like you guys never make mistakes." Raimundo stalked away, hands in his pockets.
Valerie looked over at Omi, who was red in the face with steam pouring out his head. She helped Clay carry him back to Dojo, with Valerie glad that she wasn't the one who found the Sword.
Back at the Temple
Omi was using ninja kicks to destroy practice vases on poles, Clay was lassoing the doggie through the hoop of fake flames, Kimiko was playing a videogame while leaning against a wall, Valerie was reading Ripper by Stefan Petrucha while sitting in the training plaza, and Raimundo was moping around the place.
When he passed by Kimiko, she asked, "What's up, Raimundo?"
Raimundo answered with a downcast, "Nothing."
Knowing what was wrong with him Valerie quickly ran to her room and grabbed High in School by Salman Aditya. She then ran out back to the training grounds and looked for Raimundo. She found him by the ornate black gate which had carvings of vines on it. Omi was there too, and it seemed like he was trying to cheer him up but was failing miserably. Raimundo then walked away from him, so Valerie went to follow.
So did Omi. The two of them followed Raimundo into the dorms. Omi began to talk: "I know your humiliating defeat has saddened you. Still, you must take hope that one day you will be as skilled and as talented as me."
Raimundo punted Omi out the door.
Raimundo went to glower out the window, so Valerie decided she should have a go at it. "Raimundo, you should totally read this book I picked out for you. It's hilarious."
"Thanks, but no thanks," he said quietly.
Valerie looked at him and held up the book. "You could at least read the back cover."
"I'm not interested."
Valerie threw her up her hands and left the room. Kimiko was about to walk in with her videogame in hand, so Valerie left her to it. She walked to the other boys and stood there waiting for Kimiko.
Kimiko went out with her videogame still in hand, but she was smiling. "What happened?" Clay inquired.
"Master Fung's going to talk with Raimundo."
"Ah, yes. No doubt he will bestow some of his wisdom to get Raimundo out of his bunk."
"You mean funk," Kimiko corrected Omi.
"That too."
They found Raimundo in the scroll room, pouring over dozens of scrolls all about the Shen Gong Wu. He was so into it that he missed dinner and continued studying into the night. This worried the others, who didn't even know Raimundo could study.
Valerie and Clay held lit candles and both went to see if Raimundo was willing to give the studying a rest for the night.
"Raimundo, partner, it's pretty late," Clay said while rubbing at his eyes. "Maybe you ought to give that stuff a rest."
"No way," Raimundo said. "I'm gonna learn everything I can about the Shen Gong Wu."
"Doesn't do any good to close the barn door after the horses get out."
"What?"
"Never mind." Clay then left the room, leaving Valerie alone with Raimundo.
She sighed. "I'm not going to tell you to stop studying-"
"Good."
"But I will say that pretty soon you're eyes will get sore and your vision will swim if you keep this up."
"Good advice."
"Not that you'll listen to it," Valerie muttered as she too left Raimundo to his scrolls.
The next morning, a new Shen Gong Wu revealed itself.
"The Shroud of Shadows," Valerie read the name off the Ancient Scroll. The moving picture revealed a stick man suddenly disappearing when he put on the Shroud.
"Is there something wrong with the scroll?" Kimiko asked worriedly.
"No," Raimundo said, "it's the Shroud of Shadows, which allows its user to become invisible."
"Looks like all that studying really paid off," Valerie marveled, especially at how energetic Raimundo was. There wasn't a dark bag under his eyes at all.
Dojo, who had a clothes pin on his nose, took it. "Let's go. The faster we find this Shen Gong Wu, the faster my sinuses clear up."
"Tokyo," Kimiko announced as they neared the mountains. "Home sweet home."
They landed at the entrance to a shrine, the big red gate looming over them. Behind them was a fountain with two black koi fish going in circles in the water.
"Whoo-wee!" Clay whistled. "Look at those fish. Sure wish I brought my pole."
"Look!" Raimundo pointed to the middle of the pool and then leaped onto a giant lily pad. He plunged his hand into the water, searching.
"What? I don't see anything…" Kimiko began just as Raimundo got out the Shroud of Shadows.
"Nothing to it," Raimundo gloated to himself just as a Jack-Bot pushed him into the water, making him let go of the Shroud.
The others heard a battle cry, and an obese ninja blocked out the sun for a moment, right before landing on a lily pad.
"Thank you for locating the Shen Gong Wu. We will be taking possession of it now," the ninja said as an army of Jack-Bots appeared with the evil boy genius himself hovering in the air.
"WATER!" Omi cried. He slammed himself into the fat ninja feet first, forcing him to bend forward and fly backwards. He let go of the Shroud.
"FIRE!" Kimiko yelled. She slid over to a Jack-Bot and, grabbing it by the head, threw it at Jack Spicer. Jack had been trying to nab the Shroud secretly, but instead he got hit by his own robot. He landed in some bushes, saying, "Ow, thorns!"
"AETHER!" Valerie called. She whipped a rock at a Jack-Bot, decapitating it. She grabbed the head out of the air and threw it at another Jack-Bot. The robot shook a little before exploding. "Didn't expect that," she said after the attack.
"EARTH!" shouted Clay before launching himself into the air. He then yelled, "CANNON BALL!" and plummeted into the water, giving everyone in the vicinity a cold bath. But that distraction gave him the chance to snatch the Shroud of Shadows.
Only the fat ninja wasn't having that. He threw himself at Clay, knocking him against the fountain. Clay let go of the Shroud, and the ninja grabbed at it at the same time Raimundo did.
"This one's mine, Tubbimura," he said with a smirk.
"There is only one way to determine the winner," Tubbimura said primly. "I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown. We will each stand on a rock in the pond, and try to knock the other one into the water."
"Sounds good," Raimundo said, "but just to make it a little more fun, I challenge you to a Shen Yi Bu Dare!"
"A Shen Yi-what?" Jack Spicer asked Wuya. "Okay, now I know they're making stuff up."
"You mind filling us in, partner?" asked Clay as he and the other Dragons went into the pond.
"I must admit even an expert like myself does not have this knowledge," said Omi.
"The Shen Yi Bu Dare," Dojo mused on Clay's shoulder. "Well, yes, I know what it is, but for everyone else, why don't you fill them in, Raimundo?"
"Smooth," Valerie said sarcastically. That earned her a glare from the dragon.
"It's something I came across in my studies," Raimundo explained. "It's like a double dare. Each contestant wagers two Shen Gong Wu. Winner takes all."
"Then I will possess five Shen Gong Wu, hai," Tubbimura said arrogantly.
"Not when I toss your sorry can in the water, you won't."
"Which Shen Gong Wu do you wager?"
"The Eye of Dashi and the Two Ton Tunic against your Sword of the Storm and Fist of Tebigong," Raimundo decreed.
"Hai, onto Shen Yi Bu Dare!" Tubbimura bounced on his back, jumped into the air, and landed feet first onto a rock.
"How about every once in a while, we swap Shen Gong Wu?" Raimundo asked innocently. Valerie wondered what he was planning.
Tubbimura pulled up his pants. "Hai; enough talk! Onto the battle!"
Raimundo got up on a rock. "Let's go; Xiaolin Showdown!" he and Tubbimura said in unison, and all the water in the pond/fountain splashed up, high into the sky. Lightning flashed into the sky, and the two koi fish became huge behemoths as they circled and jumped out of the water. Raimundo and Tubbimura were on two separate pillars-the rocks in the game.
The others were also on pedestals, on the sidelines. Rain was pelting them, yet they could barely feel the cold seeping into their skin.
"I sure hope Raimundo knows what he's doing," Clay said to the rest of them.
"How can he?" Kimiko pointed out. "Even Omi doesn't know what he's doing, and he's the expert!"
"Well, he did spend most of the night last night studying," Valerie pointed out. "Maybe he found something that even Omi doesn't know."
"GONG YI TAN PAI!" the two contestants shouted, starting the Showdown.
"Sword of the Storm!" Tubbimura yelled, turning the sword like it was a giant fan. Great winds gushed out of it like a tornado, aimed straight for Raimundo.
"Two Ton Tunic!" Raimundo yelled, kneeling on the pillar. The armor kept him down as the winds passed him harmlessly. "Sorry, Tubbimura; I'm not going anywhere!"
"You show him, partner!" Clay gave his buddy a thumbs up for the quick thinking.
"Eye of Dashi!" Raimundo countered, sending a lightning bolt at the obese ninja. He countered with the Fist of Tebigong, which conducted the lightning away from his tubby body.
Suddenly a giant, black koi fish erupted from the water, grabbing the Fist with its one tentacle and landing back into the water. "What trickery is this?" Tubbimura exclaimed.
Raimundo held up his Tunic as an offering. "It's the Shen Yi Bu Switcheroo!" The other black koi fish took the offering as it was out of the water.
"Those two fish would make fine fillets," Clay said, rubbing his stomach.
The two behemoths then gave the other side the other's Shen Gong Wu, meaning Tubbimura had the Two Ton Tunic while Raimundo got the Fist of Tebigong.
Wearing the Tunic, Tubbimura declared, "Now you will face the full sting of my Sword; Sword of the Storm!" He moved the Sword with the wind, causing it to follow the blade like it was a magnet. The wind hovered above the water and forced it into a watery tornado, spinning its way over to Raimundo.
Raimundo tried to hang in there, but the water splashed over him and made him lose his grip. He flew haphazardly through the air, being buffeted by the winds and swirling to and fro like a rag doll.
And then the winds died down, and Raimundo plummeted to the earth. "Fist of Tebigong!" he shouted, using the fingers of the Fist to get a grip on the pillar. But the rock he was gripping broke, and down Raimundo went, sliding until he nearly reached the water, where he stopped.
The koi fish then erupted from the water, taking the Fist of Tebigong with it. The other koi fish took the Sword of the Storm from Tubbimura and gave it to Raimundo.
When Tubbimura got the Fist of Tebigong, he sneered, "The Shen Yi Bu has turned against you!"
Raimundo began to slip down towards the water; one hand clutching the Sword like his life depended on it.
"Best of luck using the Sword without falling!" Tubbimura teased before laughing an evil laugh.
"You must choose; drop the Sword of the Storm, or fall."
"Okay, I choose fall." Raimundo let go of the pillar and fell to the water.
"Raimundo!" Kimiko and Valerie cried.
"Eye of Dashi and Sword of the Storm!" Raimundo put the Eye on the hilt of the Sword, and with it he glided across the water towards Tubbimura, without a single drop of water getting on his person.
"Most inventive!" Omi congratulated him. "He has combined two Shen Gong Wu!"
Raimundo glided across the water and up Tubbimura's pillar like a streak of light, knocking the ninja flat on his back.
"Told you I was a Dragon of the Wind!" Raimundo said as he rode through the air. As he neared Tubbimura, he tried punching him with the Fist, only to have the Fist go through his body like Raimundo was a ghost.
"You should have done your homework," Raimundo chided him as he blew a gust of wind from his mouth at Tubbimura.
"Two Ton Tunic!" Tubbimura cried out desperately, kneeling under the heavy weight of the armor. Raimundo flew around the ninja like a white tornado, lifting him up off the pillar like he was a feather.
"Put me down!" Tubbimura demanded. Raimundo happily complied by pushing him into the water. The Showdown ended with Tubbimura falling into the pond with the two tiny koi fish swirling around him.
"Enjoy your bath, Tubbimura!" Raimundo said before turning to his friends with all five Shen Gong Wu in his possession.
"Way to go!" Valerie cheered as the others rushed him to congratulate him.
Dojo began sniffing the air. "Finally, I can breathe again!" A wind full of white flower petals wafted over him. "Or not. ACHOOO!" He shot fire out of his mouth over by the bushes, frying Jack, who was trying to sneakily get away. His entire back was fried to a crisp, and half of his hair was gone. A flame flickered over the remaining locks.
"Gesundheit," said Jack Spicer.
Valerie decided that since Raimundo did such a good job pulling off that hat trick of a Showdown, he deserved a plate of cookies and a glass of milk. She found him once again in the scroll room, only with Omi hanging around him with the Shroud of Shadows under his arm.
"Come on; please tell me what you are studying!" Omi pleaded, giving Raimundo the puppy dog eyes.
"No."
"Please? I will acknowledge you as the expert."
"I'm the expert anyway."
"Will you at least give me a hint of the nature of your study?"
"Well," Raimundo began, "let's just say I'm preparing for future challenges."
"Leave him alone, Omi," Valerie gently scolded the little monk. "If he wants to study alone, let him."
Omi huffed and threw the Shroud of Shadows over his shoulder and walked out of the room. When he was gone, Raimundo turned to Valerie. "And what are you doing here?" he asked not unkindly.
"Just giving you a snack," Valerie replied glibly. Raimundo took the plate and glass and immediately began to chow down. Valerie took the chance to peek at what he was studying.
He was reading High in School by Salman Aditya.
"'Preparing for future battles'?" Valerie repeated, pointing at the book.
Raimundo shrugged unapologetically. "Everyone knows you need a funny comeback in battle. This is just a possible reference."
Valerie shrugged. "I have to admit though; I'm glad you were the one who first found the Sword of the Storm instead of me."
"Why's that?"
"Because I didn't really pay any attention to Omi either," Valerie admitted. She then ran out of the room just as Raimundo exploded.
"WHAT?!"
Kimiko learned to control her temper, everyone trusts Clay's 'slow and steady wins the race' tactic, Raimundo learns to listen for once in life...You know what that means.
THE FILLER CHAPTERS ARE OVER! I CAN CHANGE UP THE CANON! WHOO-HOO!
Stay tuned people, because it's gonna be good.