Chapter 44: Breaking the Fourth Wall Part 1
For the episode Pet Project, I found one or two loopholes that kind of annoyed me. I guess they annoyed me more than I thought, because chapters 44 and 45 manage to subtlety break the fourth wall. I had no intention of doing so, but looking back on it now, I'm glad I put it in. XD So much comedy! (Though said loopholes don't show until next chapter...)
It was a full moon that night. The werewolves would have been happy. Not that there were any. The Forever Knights were pretty sure they took care of that problem ages ago.
Still, it was a nice night. But the Knights couldn't enjoy it, since they were in a mad scientist's lab and all.
Said mad scientist's lab was underneath the castle-deep underground. Only a handful of Forever Knights had been chosen to be down there this night. All were handpicked by the scientist himself, a man of Scottish ancestry with a blind right eye and the battle scar to prove that it wasn't genetic.
"My fellow Knights," he announced to the chosen few, "we have lately endured a grave defeat. Our prisoner, the villainous dragon, escaped from our grasp. But does this mean we have lost?"
The Forever Knights stayed silent.
"Do we now abandon our sacred duty?!"
The Forever Knights shouted, "NO!"
"No!" the scientist agreed. "Instead we must pursue the beast across the void. We must destroy it and its vile species once and for all!"
"YEAH!" shouted the chosen ones.
"And so," the charismatic scientist continued, "to that end, I have built a starship." Lights quickly erupted to the side, one by one, until they revealed a gigantic weapons system unlike any of them had ever seen. It was silver with two wings; underneath said wings were missiles, thermal blasts, bombs, and other devastating threats to alien kind.
"Combining dozens of alien technologies we have…acquired, and though its controls are too complex for human operation, I believe I have found a solution." The scientist directed the audience's attention to the wall, where a projector screen was. The projector flickered on to reveal an incredible sight: a dozen cars swallowed into a circle of metal. This was followed by a scene of a housewife being chased by her own vacuum cleaner.
"This is a work of a Galvan shape shifter," the scientist said. The screen flickered to reveal one of the most adorable mascots the Ben 10 series had to offer: Ship. "Both machine and beast, which can assimilate and duplicate any device it encounters. With it, we will create an armada of spacecraft, which we can use to obliterate the dragon home world."
A single man stepped up into the light. He was a large man covered in gray armor. He lifted his helmet to reveal a smiling face, a dreadful mask that hid the sadist beneath.
"I'll catch your little blob for ya," the man said jovially.
"Beware, Sir Morton; it will not be easy to capture," the scientist said gravely.
"That's what makes me job all more interestin', don't it?"
He stared at the balcony. He could sense her through the soundproof walls. She was walking about-he didn't know why, exactly, but she was there. That was all that counted.
He had traveled a long way to meet her. He made plenty of stops along the way-too many, but it had been so much fun…But now he was late. Or was he? She was still there, in her room. Alone.
He had picked up a few things on the trip here. She would be excited to see, he knew. He wouldn't show them all right away, of course. He had to leave her in suspense, had to leave her wanting more. He didn't want her faking her emotions for him. That would be the worst.
He had to make her happy. He would do anything to make her happy. Anything.
He slithered up the stairs as quietly as he could-he wanted to surprise her. Would she be surprised? He bet she would. She hadn't seen him in a long time; of course she would be happy. She would love the tricks he picked up. He loved making her smile.
He pounded on the balcony door. For a second, nothing, and then the thick purple curtains withdrew and he could see combat boots through the pretty, streaky glass. She was here, she was opening the door, oh boy oh boy oh boy-
Carter looked around to see nothing on the balcony. And then she looked down to see Ship, his hindquarters wagging like a tail.
She kneeled and petted him on the head. "You're back! It's been so long. Newt didn't tell me you were coming. How's he treating you?" If the Galvanic Mechamorph understood, he didn't show it. He just panted slightly and purred under her hand.
Quickly she scooped him up and hopped off the balcony. She withdrew her black wings and descended slowly. Once her feet hit the ground they disappeared and Ship leaped out of her arms.
"What do you have to show me this time?" Carter asked pleasantly. The alien dog bleated out a quick, "Ship, ship!" before transforming into a black toaster with a green circuit design. Two pieces of toast flew out-Carter threw an icicle through the one that nearly hit her head. She cringed at how deadly her reflexes were.
Ship didn't seem to notice. He jumped into the air and with a great green flash turned into a washing machine. Carter giggled when she heard the motor running. "Cool. Good Ship. Anything else?"
Ship turned back into his adorable doggie self for a moment. After a moment's hesitation he jumped into the air again. Carter's jaw dropped and she quickly back flipped away just as a submarine landed in the backyard.
Carter stood up, mouth open. She cast a nervous glance at the house before smiling at Ship. "Awesome! Now change back." Instantly the Mechamorph changed to normal and leaped into her arms. Carter coddled him, petting his head while saying, "Good Ship, you're such a good boy."
And then she took a look at the backyard. A few of the trees were lopsided; one had toppled over as the submarine hit the ground and turned into a pancake. The flower garden was completely totaled, and the imprint of the submarine dug a trench in the ground.
Carter groaned. "Cordelia is so going to pin this on me." And then she heard the sounds of a car beeping-her ride was here. Giving Ship a kiss on the forehead, she said, "I'll be back later. Don't let anyone see you." She then melted into the shadows, leaving a crestfallen Ship behind.
Inside the car, Carter squeezed in next to Gwen and Sam in the backseat. Kevin was behind the wheel with Evan riding shotgun.
"Got the cards?" the brunette said.
The Goth held up her wallet. "Know it! Take us to the mall, Sterling!"
"I am not your chauffeur!" Kevin growled.
"You're the only one with a car," Gwen pointed out. His scowl grew deeper as he turned to Evan.
"Why are you going?"
"I want to go shopping," Evan said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Kevin gave him a disbelieving look.
"You staked out the sales, didn't you?" Sam leered at Evan.
"It's like they know I'm coming," he said dreamily. Kevin made a despairing noise as the girls-plus Evan-chattered on about the mall. As he pulled out of the driveway, he begged the powers that be to let something-anything- happen before he stopped at the mall.
No one noticed the Galvanic Mechamorph gluing itself to Kevin's bumper.
Carter had told Ben where she was going this Saturday night. She had asked him to come along, but he had refused telling her he had homework. She had given him a look but didn't say anything. So Ben was sitting in his room, eating popcorn while watching an old fifties horror movie.
…It still beat shopping.
In the old black and white film, the painfully cheesy-looking alien was controlling the hero, turning him into a mind controlled slave. He was stalking towards his love interest, who was screaming at the top of her lungs. The camera closed in on the hero's dead-looking eyes before the movie cut to commercial.
Ventus chose that moment to speak up. Why the hell didn't you go with Carter?
She was going shopping. Do you know how girls act when they shop?
…Yes. But why didn't you go? Evan and Kevin were going.
They were roped into it. I refused on account that I hate lugging around shopping bags.
Even if one was from Victoria's Secret?
Ben paused mid-chew, the now empty bowl of popcorn clattering to the ground. What?
I heard from Aquaria and Kirche that Carter had a gift card from Victoria's Secret. I think she was using it today.
…Why does that concern me?
She might have let you pick the colors…?
Ben stood up from his bed and, with every word, banged his head against the wall. "I. Am. So. Stupid!"
"Get that CD away from my radio."
"No."
"Get that CD away from my radio!"
"I'm putting it in!"
"Don't make me turn this car around!"
"Ladies, ladies, you're both pretty!" Sam cried over the din. Kevin growled and Evan took the opportunity to slip in the CD he burned.
"What's so bad about Evan's music?" Gwen asked out loud.
"You'll see eventually," Carter groaned, plugging her ears.
The angry noises of Metallica erupted from the speakers, forcing everyone to cringe. "Turn it off!" Kevin roared.
Evan switched to the next track. 'I'm bringing sexy back-'
Gwen gave a laugh as Evan warbled along tunelessly. Kevin was near tears; he was begging someone, anyone to change the music. Carter leaned over and switched to the next track.
'All the single ladies, all the single ladies-'
"What is with your music?" Sam muttered as she leaned out of her seat to switch the tracks yet again. "Hell, what was the point of this scene, anyway?"
"The author wanted some comic relief before the next fight," Evan explained swiftly. "It's her trademark."
"What are you guys talking about?" Gwen asked puzzled.
"Trust me, you don't want to know," Carter said.
'Our whole universe started in a hot dense state
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait…'
Kevin and Gwen looked at the radio in confusion, since they had never heard this fairly new theme song before. Carter and Sam, on the other hand, squealed with delight as they and Evan sang along.
'The Earth began to cool,
The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools,
We built a wall (we built the pyramids),
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,
That all started with the big bang!'
BANG! A red hot laser beam hit the bumper of Kevin's car. Kevin hit the brakes, puncturing his tires as the car careened to the side of the road. A red chariot flew by, firing another laser at the car before it skidded to a complete stop.
Everybody ran out of the car just as the beam hit the boys. Kevin safely flew upwards, doing a front flip before landing on his back. Evan, on the other hand, hit his head on the road, blood gushing out of the wound as he was rendered unconscious.
"Get him to safety!" Sam roared as she flew upward. Fire was streaking out of her hands, making her look like a comet. She flew over to the assault chariot, chasing after it as it tried to fire off more lasers.
Kevin dragged an unconscious Evan back to the car. Carter had a cell phone in one hand and a glowing blue one on Evan's forehead, right where the cut was. She quickly dialed Ben's number just as Gwen whipped up a mana shield. A laser had hit them; Gwen deflected the blast but the shield splintered apart.
"Sam!" she cried.
"On it!" the flaming redhead said, in hot pursuit of the flying chariot.
"Carter!" Ben finally said on the other line. "Are you at the mall yet?"
"No, we got sidetracked by the Forever Knight attacking us," Carter deadpanned as Evan slowly healed. "He's got a laser chariot and everything."
A beat of silence, and then: "I'm on my way!" And then the line went dead.
Evan stirred, eyelids fluttering. The first thing he said was, "Why is he shooting at us?"
"Who doesn't shoot at us at this point?" Carter shot back as another laser hit the tree behind them.
"Watch the paintjob, that's four coats!" Kevin yelled angrily. He put a hand on his precious car and absorbed the metal, temporarily becoming a shiny green color. The Knight in the chariot sent another laser from his lance, hitting Kevin. He flew backwards, but thanks to special armor he was mostly unharmed.
The Knight landed and got off his chariot. He had an old fashioned shield without a sword on him-it looked weird. Kevin got up and ran to punch him. The Knight slammed the shield against him and delivered a punch of his own.
Sam flew down just as Kevin fell to the side. She jumped kicked the Knight; the shield took the impact. Lightning quick jabs from Sam hit the shield. The Knight staggered back, the heavy shield barely protecting him from the onslaught.
And then the shield hit Sam in the torso, and down she fell. Blood dribbled out of her mouth as she wheezed.
The Knight heard yelling; Kevin was coming after him with rage in his eyes. Another punch sent him reeling. And then the Knight summoned his laser lance, using telekinesis to get it from the chariot. With it in hand, red lasers were sent at the poor Osmosian, forcing him to the ground.
Pain racked Kevin's body; the armor was helping, but he could feel the intense heat through the metal. Sweet Christ was this what death felt like? The intense heat searing through him, the acrid smell of smoke filling his nostrils…
…Was that a wall of flames in front of him?
He could an arm snaking around his waist. Ah. Sam was there. She was propping him up, forcing Kevin to lean against her as she helped him to safety. He could see blood on her chin from the attack earlier. For a second Kevin wanted to go back and punch that guy's lights out, but then he saw what the Knight was doing over by his car.
Why the hell was he by Kevin's car?
Electricity was buzzing around the bumper. Some strange green and black goo was sliding off it. It was collecting itself into a little ball, and then it grew little arms and a tail. It gave a sad, pathetic whimper as the electricity swarmed around it painfully.
"Ship?" Carter said. She reached out for him. Evan clung to her waist, one hand grabbing her arm.
"The electricity will kill you," he bleated out as Ship continued to whimper in pain. And then the shape shifter was pulled inside a giant glass container, the telekinetic powers controlling him.
"In ya go!" the sadistic Knight said happily, closing the lid.
"Let him go, you bastard!" Carter roared at him, her voice a horrible animalistic sound.
The Knight propped Ship into the chariot. "No can do, girlie. Not part of me job description." He fired the laser lance off once more at the teenagers. They fell back as the laser hit, the debris falling everywhere. They could see the chariot flying into the air; Ship was bleating something, his little arms against the glass of his prison.
And then the Knight flew away, Ship along with him.
For a second Carter stood there, eyes in the sky where Ship once was. She was shaking, hunched over. She tilted her head down, obscuring her face.
"Carter…" Evan reached out for her, nearly touching her shaking form. And then she whirled around and slammed her fists on the car hood.
"FUCKING DAMN IT!" she screamed. The back of the car shot up, becoming a perfect ninety degrees angle before settling itself back down with a loud crash. Carter put her fists at her side, revealing the popped up hood and two craters.
"MY CAR!" Kevin screamed nearly in tears. Carter paid him no mind. She was too busy hating her intolerance of electricity. It wasn't her fault she was born like that, but she should have helped, she should have healed Ship, she should have done something-
"Daddy's coming," Sam said, pointing to the alien in the sky.
"…Crap," Carter muttered, pushing aside her feelings of inferiority.
"You never told him?" Gwen asked alarmed, her intuition freakishly accurate.
"It never came up," the Goth admitted sheepishly as Jetray landed. In a flash of green he turned back into Ben, who then came running up to them.
"What happened?" was the first thing he asked.
Kevin, who had been sprawled over his wreck of a car, stood up. "That flyin' jerk fried my car. And then Carter bashed the hood!"
"Way to throw me under the bus, Kev," Carter muttered as Ben looked at her. "I was upset?" she sheepishly told him.
"Why?"
"…The flying jerk took Ship."
"Ship?!"
"Before you go into anything, let me call Beck," Evan said, holding out his phone. "We need to fix the car."
"I'll see if I can get us a ride," Sam said. She pulled Kevin away from his beat up vehicle towards the bridge. Evan and Gwen stepped away from Carter in perfect synch, heading more towards the forest.
Ben turned to Carter, confusion etched on his face. "How long has Ship been following us?"
"Not you. Me. And Newt," Carter confessed.
"Okay then, why you?"
"I guess he thinks I'm his mother."
"Your mother," Ben said flatly.
"Mother, caretaker, I don't know!" Carter snapped. "But whatever I am to him, he also latched onto Newt because we have the same face."
"And how long has Newt known about Ship?" he asked.
"About a month or so."
Hurt flickered over Ben's face. "And you never told me?"
"You wanted nothing to do with Ship."
"I said nothing like that!"
"Yes you did you liar!" Evan called from the forest.
"Shut up Evan!" Ben yelled back. "How can you even hear us?"
"I'm Batman!"
Carter ignored him. "Anyway, Ship stopped over today and showed me a few tricks, and then I guess he latched onto Kevin's car when I left him."
"He shows you tricks?" Ben asked alarmed.
"Yeah, he turns into things. Turned himself into a submarine today," Carter said.
"How did he-you know what, I don't want to know." Ben shook his head. "The point is why would the Forever Knights want to steal Ship?"
"Puh-leeze!" Kevin scoffed from the bridge. "He can turn into anything he touches. He's like a cup of instant weapon."
"Oh, so now you can hear us too?" Ben called to him.
"He's Superman!" Evan called from the trees.
"Hey Sam, how fast can we get a ride?" Gwen yelled over to her friend.
"WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING?" Carter screamed at the top of her lungs.
Later that night
Kevin refused help from Beck. Like Gwen and Ben, he still didn't like the idea of being around a child murderer. Evan was able to get some supplies though, so Kevin could easily fix the damage inflicted on his car. Amazingly, Carter actually did little damage to the hood. The only thing they had to do was smooth out the craters.
Carter had taken a look at the engine and remarked, "I thought I hit the engine. Why isn't it showing any damage?"
Kevin had given her his salesman smile and said, "That's a trade secret."
Now, an hour later, the car was back to normal. Kevin happily wiped the car so clean he could see his smiling reflection in it. "Okay, fixed the hood, new paint job, and new tires!" he crowed.
Gwen was sitting on the ground in Ben's garage, a blanket under her. She was meditating her eyes light pink. "I'm trying to pick up his mana."
"Wait, isn't Ship technically a machine?" Sam asked out loud.
"Basically. Why do you ask?" Evan said.
"Well, mana comes from living things, and since Ship isn't technically living…" she trailed off, her point made. Gwen slumped dejectedly.
"There's gotta be some way we can find him," Ben pointed out.
Carter held up the newspaper. "The Forever Knights are history freaks, right? So wouldn't their headquarters be in a castle?"
Evan snatched the news article from her hands and read the ad out loud. "'Lancelot Lake Estates is proud to present the newest installment in housing development, blah, blah, blah, if a man's home is his castle, isn't it time that you owned one?'"
"Possible," Gwen stated.
"Kind of a long shot," Ben said.
"Why do they even have castles in Bellwood anyway?" Kevin asked naively.
"Same reason it has a black market," Sam said dryly. Everyone who didn't know that turned to her.
"Bellwood has a black market?" Gwen asked incredulously.
Sam arched an eyebrow. "Doesn't every city?"
"Anyway," Carter said quickly, "when are we going to sack the castle?"
"Is it really safe for you?" Evan mused. "I mean, the Forever Knights used electric attacks, and it'd be catastrophic if you got hit."
"What do you mean catastrophic?" Gwen asked.
"She'll die from the excess electricity," Ben pointed out, shame welling through him upon remembering Carter's lifeless body from ages past.
"And how would you know that?" Sam hissed suspiciously, eyes narrowed into slits.
"And if you died, who would I copy all my English essays off of?" Evan asked, diverting the conversation.
"Wow, you make me feel so special," Carter said sarcastically.
"Yeah, I really don't think you should go," Ben agreed. She narrowed her eyes at him. She could see Ship's face pressed up against the glass, looking at her, pleading her to help him. She could feel the overwhelming sense of shame as she remembered how utterly useless she was to help him. That wasn't going to happen again.
And nothing would stop her from saving him.
"You really don't have a say in this," Carter said, her tone announcing the finality of the decision.
"What? Why?"
"You're the deadbeat dad," Kevin deadpanned. Evan and Sam went "oooh!" and stepped back.
"Are you gonna take that, Tennyson?" Evan jeered.
"You didn't even know about Ship in the first place," Sam pointed out.
"That's true, I didn't know." Ben glared at Carter.
"Because you never wanted anything to do with him," she snarled back. She slammed the newspaper into his chest. "Now if you don't mind, I got a pet to save." She stomped over to the car, threw open the passenger door and angrily slammed it shut as she slid in.
Kevin, with his hands over his eyes, asked, "Did she break it again?"
"No, your car's fine," Sam assured him. He uncovered them and gave a sigh of relief. He then immediately walked to the driver's seat.
"I'd back you up, Tennyson, but I really don't think I can," Evan said cheekily.
"You threw me under the bus, you bastard!" Ben snarled at him. His doppelganger gave an impish giggle and ran over to the car, where Sam and Gwen already were.
"Great, thanks for the support guys!" Ben snapped at them as they closed the car doors. He strode over to the backseat farthest from Carter, forcing himself to squish next to Evan. His cheek pressed to the window, he gave the newspaper to Sam. "The address is on it."
"9387 Arthur Lane?" Sam recited. "Yeah, that isn't obvious at all."
"Sarcasm's my thing," Carter snapped. "Don't steal my thing."
"But I don't have a thing!"
"You still can't steal it!"
Sam melted into her seat fearfully as Kevin started the car. The two anxiously traded looks before jetting out of the garage.
There was a deathly silence in the air, a choking thing. It was settling over them like a wet washcloth. They were shuddering from the intensity, their breaths fogging…
…Their breaths were fogging in spring?
Icicles formed a circlet around Carter's head, turning themselves into small diamonds. Water crystals pooled around her, the crisp white snow settling themselves on Gwen's lap. The air around her was frigid, and it was frosting up the windows.
Kevin turned on the heat in the car. It did nothing for Carter's temper.
"Thanks, Tennyson," Kevin muttered under his breath. "Thanks a lot."
Yep, Ship is depicted as something of a stalker. Which kind of makes sense, since he's been following Carter and Newt for some time. He may not know better, but still.
And I can totally use the Big Bang Theory Theme Song. The first episode aired in 2007. Pet Project first aired in 2008. It's totally legal.
Actually, I was planning to use the BBT Theme Song earlier. When Gwen, Kevin and Ben were stuck in that DNAlien prison a few chapters back, the Pride was supposed to be in there with them. To pass the time, Evan was supposed to start singing, making Kevin angry. And then eventually Kevin would absorb some of that Farsympian metal; Evan and Sam would sing the television version of the theme song, with Kevin kicking down the prison door with a bang at the end. But the chapter went in a different direction, so I recycled that scene here.
So, thoughts anyone?