Chapter 46: In Which Ben just can't catch a Break

...I have way too many references in here. Seriously, one from Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged, one from Yu-Gi-Oh! Season Zero Abridged, and even one very obvious Mortal Kombat reference. I didn't even notice them while I was writing the chapter; it wasn't until I proofread it the first time that I got them all. I would have changed them, but they seemed to fit with the overall feeling of the chapter. So see if you can find them. XD

Also, the Knife Game can be found on Wikipedia. Just in case you were curious.

"How is he so energetic?" Kevin demanded to know.

"He gets his energy from technology," Carter said. "…I think."

"Can't you calm him down?" Evan moaned. "I feel like taking a nap just from watching him."

And all this time Ship had been bouncing around the living room like a little kid hopped up on Red Bull.

Last night had been the Forever Knight attack. The team should have been home, snuggled in their beds (or pretending to wake up due to how early it was). But no; they were in the Valentine manor resting for the morning. Well, everyone except Ship. He was just bouncing off the walls.

"Ship, calm down," Carter ordered. The Mechamorph stopped bouncing long enough to leap into her lap. He gave a loud purr before resting his head off the side of her thigh. Sam sat down next to her and Ship elongated his head so she could pet him.

Ben, who had been pacing slightly, said, "So let me get this straight: all of you knew about Ship."

Gwen, who was leaning against the wall, answered: "Yep."

"And no one bothered to tell me."

"We were waiting for Carter to say something," Sam said as she scratched Ship's head.

"Well, it wasn't like we were sworn to secrecy or anything," Kevin began. Sam shot him a look.

"But Carter had to be the one to tell him," she insisted. "Ship's her pet. She had to be the one to announce it."

"Though if you guys told him for me, it would have saved me a lot of trouble," Carter said flatly.

"Can you not talk about me like I'm not here?"

"No can do good buddy," Evan told his doppelganger. He was stretched out on the loveseat, one hand behind his head while the other over the edge, nearly hitting the coffee table. Kevin was sitting across the room from him, leaning into the armchair, his arms crossed.

An angry rock tune exploded through the room. Sam got out her cell phone from her boot and looked at the caller ID. There was no name, just a phone number. But it was one she recognized.

"I need to take this," she said getting up. As she left the room Ben plopped himself down in her spot. Ship retracted his head and jumped off of Carter's lap and made his way over to Kevin. He leaped onto the armrest so the boy could pet him.

Ben stared at the dog, the rejection stinging. "How does he still not like me? He already got his revenge."

"Maybe he just needs to get used to you," Carter suggested. The hurt look on his face refused to leave.

A knocking came from the wall. Everyone looked over to see a well-dressed man with windblown blond hair and a scratchy beard walk in. A lit cigarette dangled from his lips.

"Phineas?" Ben exclaimed.

"Who?" Gwen asked.

"Get that thing out of my house." Carter glared at the cigarette like it insulted her personally. Phineas chuckled as he took the cancer stick out of his mouth. He then threw it at Carter, who quickly doused it with water. The damp butt of the cigarette fell to the floor.

"Why'd you do that?" Evan asked getting off the loveseat.

"Didn't feel like putting it out myself," Phineas answered.

"What are you even doing here?" Ben asked getting up.

"I told you; I know Isaac. I had some business with him today," his grandfather answered. "He mentioned you were here, and since it's time for our weekly training session, I'd thought we'd just do it here."

"Training session?" Kevin asked from across the room.

"Yeah; I'm the one teaching Ben how to use his god powers."

"So you're that Phineas," Gwen said walking up to him. "Why haven't we met you before?"

"I'm a busy man, Gwendolyn. I can't always visit."

"How do you know my name?"

"I forgot to introduce myself." Phineas held out a hand. "I'm Phineas Carmichael, your grandfather from Ben's mother's side."

Gwen stared at him, forgetting the handshake. Her mouth dropped open; she tried to form words, but her voice wasn't working. She stared at her cousin, who shrugged his shoulders.

Finally she found her voice. "How? We've never met you, you've never been at any family reunions, and Aunt Sandra's never mentioned you-"

"I'm the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company," Phineas interrupted. "That's not something you go around telling people. And like I said, I'm a busy man."

"A multi-billion dollar company?" Kevin stuttered out. "Is Ben in line for the inheritance?"

"Dude!"

"Ben's not smart enough to handle that responsibility," Phineas said bluntly.

"Dude." Ben glared at him.

Phineas turned to Gwen. "I might give it to you though. You definitely got the brains of the family."

"I don't want your company," Gwen said hotly. "I just want answers. Like how Sandra is one of you even though she doesn't have any powers."

"I need to sit down for this." Phineas settled down on the loveseat, pushing Evan out of the way. He crossed his legs and stretched his arms out so that they rested on either side of top of the couch-like a rock star making room for his groupies.

"There's really not much to the story," Phineas began. "Sandra's mother-your grandmother-was a normal human. I always planned on telling Sandra about the whole Slayer mess but she never exhibited any signs of having powers. She behaved like a normal human and had the strength of a normal human. I'm guessing the Slayer gene skipped her and put itself in Ben."

Kevin raised his hand like he was in school. "So if you're related to Sandra, then explain Ben's dad."

"He's a good man. I like him."

"I mean, is he related to any Slayers?" Kevin explained.

"No, he's a completely normal human. Or as normal as you can be with Anodite DNA," Phineas added as an afterthought.

"Then why do Evan and Ben look like twins if they're not related to each other?" Kevin gestured to the two boys, who were now standing beside each other.

Phineas shrugged. "That's just a cosmic joke."

"A cosmic joke," Gwen repeated, not believing it.

"How else would you explain it?"

Oh, I don't know, maybe there's more alien DNA in my family then meets the eye?" Ben said caustically.

Phineas rolled his eyes. "Save your hissy fits for someone who cares. We got training to do."

"Here? Now?" Ben spluttered, completely off guard.

"Cordelia's got her own time pocket. She said we could use it." He turned to the others. "You guys can't get in, but I can rig it so you can watch the training on the TV. You can watch me beat Ben up."

"I'm game," Kevin said excitedly.

"No, we're not doing that!" Ben exclaimed.

"Let's ask Ship," Evan said. Carter picked up the Mechamorph off the ground and faced him to the audience.

"Do you want to see Phineas beat Ben up?" she asked him. Ship eagerly nodded his head and bleated, "Ship! Ship!"

"The almighty Mechamorph has spoken!" Evan shouted.

"I HATE YOU ALL!" Ben cried out.

As Ben continued to protest his inevitable humiliation, Sam poked her head through the living room doorway. She beckoned to Kevin, who eventually noticed her in between Ben's yelling. He slipped out the room like a ninja and met Sam in the hallway.

"What's up?"

"I got a call from the specialist I was telling you about."

"You mean the guy who might test me to see if I pass high school?" Kevin asked. He quickly searched her face; there was no emotion besides the neutral expression she often carried. "What'd he say?"

Sam's face broke out into a huge grin. "He's going to test you next week."

Kevin grinned and nearly jumped up and down from happiness. But since he had too much pride to do that, he settled from waving his arms slightly as he opened and closed his mouth, unsure of what to say.

Amused by Kevin's awkward spasms, Sam gave him a huge bear hug, which he reciprocated. They were rocking slightly, their excitement growing and growing with each passing second.

And then Kevin stopped. The grin melted off his face. He let go of Sam, his arms dropping to his sides. She stared at him, bewildered, as she saw the terrified look on his face.

"What's wrong?"

"I need to study."

"…You're telling me you need to study?"

In a clearly panicked motion, he ran his fingers through his hair. "I need reference books and pencils and notebooks or I'm going to fail. Oh god, I'm not good enough for this, I'm going to fail so badly-!"

Sam slapped him, shutting him up. It was a light slap-a love tap really- but Kevin still put a hand to his cheek and stared at her shocked.

"Calm down," she told him sternly. "You don't need any damn reference books and you're sure as hell not going to fail. You've got brains, Levin, you just need to use them. All you need is a few sharpened number two pencils and suit to wear so you can impress the specialist."

When Kevin didn't respond, she grabbed him by the shoulders and said, "You. Will. Be. Fine. Do you understand me, Kevin Levin? Do you?"

Kevin nodded and gulped after seeing the fiery look in her eyes. "Yes."

She pecked him on the cheek and said, "Let's go and see Ben get beat up by an old man."

"So explain to me again how this time pocket thing works," Gwen said to Evan. They were all situated in the living room. The girls were sitting on the couch while the two boys were sprawled on the floor, each at one end of the coffee table. Ship was purring in Gwen's lap while she absentmindedly scratched his head.

"Basically, it's a little hole between dimensions that very few people can access," Evan explained.

"You can do whatever you want in there, like fighting," Carter interjected. "But what's most important is that time moves differently in there."

"A few minutes pass out here, but it could be hours in the pocket," Sam finished. "You can probably create one Gwen."

"So if it takes hours in there for Ben to train, won't it take hours for us to watch him?"

"You'll have to watch to see what happens," Evan said cryptically.

"Shh! It's starting," Kevin hissed as Ben walked across the television screen.

It was dark inside the time pocket, pitch black in fact. Ben was standing in the middle of it, or what passed as the middle. He had forgone his signature jacket so it looked as if his torso were a part of the darkness.

His eyes were closed for some reason. He seemed to just be standing there, waiting. And where was Phineas in all this?

Ben opened his eyes and flew to the side as the older man slammed into Ben's old spot. He left a smoking crater as he stalked across the room.

Ben generated a ball of lightning and threw it at Phineas, who quickly absorbed it. In a burst of speed he flew across the room, his feet barely skimming the ground. He heaved his fist at his grandson's face; Ben barely dodged in time.

And so it went. Phineas was always on the offensive, punching and kicking and never giving Ben any wiggle room. Ben bobbed and weaved, his feet directing him in circles around Phineas. It was a game of cat and mouse, and it seemed like a game well-known to the two players.

"What are you waiting for?" Kevin yelled at the television. "Punch him already!"

As if to answer his angry cries, Ben hooked his right arm and punched Phineas right in the chin so his head went up. Normally this spelled out a KO for the opponent, but Phineas was hardened from millennia of fighting. He wouldn't go down so easily.

Wind whistled past his form, a hurricane force gale that toppled Ben over. He soared through the air, his back hitting the wall of the time pocket. Blood spurted out of his mouth before he finally fell to the floor. He coughed up more blood, nearly gagging on the stuff.

And the people in the living room could hear every agonizing sound.

"We have to stop this," Gwen declared in a horrified stupor.

"We can't," Evan said in a sort of bored tone. "Once you're in the time pocket, only the spell caster can let you out. No one gets in or out unless Phineas says so."

On the screen, Phineas walked over to his grandson. He had a bored expression on his face to match Evan's.

"It's only been a few days, Ben," he scolded. "You can't be this weak already." He put his foot high up in the air and threw it down on Ben's head. He caught it and flipped the old man over. A ball of lightning fizzled in his hand.

"You were saying?" Ben panted through blood soaked teeth. Phineas gave him a half smile before flipping over and hitting his grandson in the face with his foot.

More punches were thrown at Ben. More balls of lightning were lobbied at Phineas before they were absorbed. Occasionally he sent out another gale force wind to bind Ben, but eventually the teen could fly through the air like an acrobat to dodge. After that he was on the offensive for a short time before Phineas got the upper hand again.

And then finally, finally, it all came to an end. Ben had latched onto Phineas's arm and pulled him in, his other fist ready. But Phineas tugged him back and slammed Ben's face into his knee and he fell to the ground in a heap. He was facedown, but everyone knew his face was a mess. Phineas panted slightly, his shirt soaked in his grandson's blood.

Suddenly Ben was lifted up in the air. He hovered slightly before a stretcher appeared beneath him. His arm dangled over the edge. And then the screen went black.

Everyone stared in a shocked silence, even Ship. Finally Carter said, "So that's what Phineas's training sessions look like. Harsh."

"That was…pretty hardcore," Kevin said slowly. He had a whole new respect for Ben for going through that kind of punishment weekly.

"Why didn't Ben ever tell me about this?" Gwen said softly, hurt and worry etched into her voice.

"He was probably afraid of how you'd react to this," Sam told her.

"React to what?" Ben asked as he walked through the doorway. His was completely fine: his clothes were free of their tatters and blood stains, and his face was back to normal. He had a towel over his head to dry his still damp hair.

"Ben!" Gwen cried rushing over to give him a big hug. Kevin slapped him on the shoulder while the other three joined in on the group hug. Ship even nuzzled Ben's leg to show some love.

"Oh, so now you like me," Ben muttered not unhappily.

"How are you even walking right now?" Kevin demanded to know.

"Healing pods," everyone answered.

"But we just saw you on the screen getting the shit beaten out of you."

"I told you, time works differently in the time pocket," Sam said. "While we were watching the fight, Ben was probably in the healing pod resting."

"By the way, where's Phineas?" Evan inquired.

"Oh he left saying I should get out of the house and go to the mall or something," Ben said dismissively.

"That's right, we were supposed to go to the mall last night," Carter finally remembered.

"Yeah, it's still early," Gwen said. "We should have the day to relax."

"And you can't get out of it this time." Carter gave Ben a smirk. He groaned.

Evan put an arm around his shoulders and said, "Don't worry; you'll feel better after a sing along."

"Oh God no," Kevin whimpered.

Twenty Minutes Later

Kevin was laughing uproariously.

It had all started with a game between Evan and Ben. It was a simple game to pass the time as Carter went off to find Isaac. She had to make sure someone would watch Ship while she was gone so he wouldn't get up to any high jinks. Cordelia was also there, but she wasn't considered a very good role model, so Isaac it was.

Anyway, the game Ben and Evan played was the Knife Game. Basically they took a knife-or a pencil- and stabbed between each finger. The goal was not to stab any finger while they played. To make sure neither would easily lose, they did the simple version of the game, stabbing all the spaces in order from the thumb to the pinkie and back again.

Despite the simplicity Ben lost three times. He claimed he kept screwing up because he was new to the game. Kevin could have concurred, but he didn't after seeing the evil look in Evan's eyes.

"You lost three times," he said chuckling. "You gotta take the punishment game."

"There isn't a punishment game after the Knife Game," Sam had pointed out. Evan had glared at her.

"He's still gotta do a punishment game."

"Or how about I don't take the punishment?"

"Or how about I decide the penalty," Sam said. Evan pouted and tried to protest but was cut off by the evil smirk Sam was wearing.

"The penalty is simple: Ben's gotta sit in someone's lap on the ride to the mall."

"That's it?" Ben said furrowing his brow. "I guess that's not so bad."

"I don't like that look on your face," Gwen said as the evil grin on Sam's face grew wider.

That led to twenty minutes later, when everyone was on the way to the mall. Carter had come back after making sure Ship was babysat, and everyone except Sam and Kevin moved to the backseat. And then Sam revealed who Ben had to sit on.

That led to Kevin choking on his laughter as he saw Evan's horrified expression. Ben's face as he was forced to sit on a guy's lap was just as priceless. For a second Kevin stopped laughing and pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. And then he turned his head towards the backseat and then started laughing again, this time clutching the steering wheel while his other hand slapped the dashboard.

"I hate you so much," Evan snarled at Sam. She gave him a cheeky grin.

"Don't be a bitch, bitch."

"So which store do we hit first?" Evan asked once inside the mall. He was in a much better mood than in the car.

"I got credit and gift cards that I never used, so anywhere's fine with me," Carter said dismissively.

"Never?" Sam asked her. "I used all of mine for science."

"What do you mean for science?" Gwen asked. Evan made an "oh!" sound, which meant that he knew what Sam was talking about.

"You mean…?" Evan trailed off. "You left a trail?"

"So did you."

"No I didn't. I gave you the money-you bitch."

Sam blew him a kiss, which just infuriated him more.

"What are you talking about?" Kevin asked now totally confused.

Carter furrowed her brow before getting it. "Oh, are you guys talking about those prototypes you cooked up a year ago? Yeah, it's not that bad," she added for Gwen and Ben's benefit.

Kevin raised an eyebrow. "What exactly did they make a year ago?"

Sam looked around. "This isn't the best place to be talking about it."

"Ah, crap, it's illegal isn't it?" Gwen muttered under her breath.

"It's more of a gray area when you think about it," Evan pointed out. He turned to Kevin. "You want in on it?"

Kevin shrugged. "Sure."

"No you can't be in on it," Sam told him sharply. She gave a glare which made Kevin remember the specialist.

"Oh right. Yeah, I can't," Kevin told the brunette, who was looking at the two of them confused. So were the other three people in the group.

"What's going on between you two?" Ben asked.

"Not telling," the couple said in cadence. They both gave easygoing smiles, which just made the conversation even more unsettling.

Suddenly a group of kids passed by, quickly heading to the center of the mall. They were all dressed in bright colored t-shirts and jeans. A few of them even had hipster glasses on.

Evan immediately went up to one of them and asked, "What's the rush?"

The hipster sneered at him. "You probably haven't heard, but there's a new game multiplayer game out."

Evan arched an eyebrow. "Really? Which company made it?"

"Force Industries. Why else would so many people come?"

Evan flashed him a knowing smile. "That's what I thought. I also heard that the game doesn't come until next week."

The hipster scoffed. "I don't know what fan website you got your information from, but it's obviously wrong."

Evan rolled his eyes. "Please, poser, I know my videogames." He started to walk away. "I'll prove to you that you're wrong."

The hipster followed him. "Like Hades you will!"

Once the two were out of sight, Gwen turned to the others. "What just happened?"

"He just ditched us to argue with hipsters." Sam face palmed. "He's gonna be gone all day."

"At least it gives me a chance to get Evan's present," Ben said. He turned to Carter. "Take me to Hot Topic!"

"You don't know where it is?" Carter flashed him a smirk. "It's right by Victoria's Secret."

Ben's face dropped. And then it puckered into an angry pout. He shook his finger at Carter's shit-eating grin and said, "I dislike you so much right now."

"Bitch, please. You're obviously in love with me."

Ben snorted trying to regain some dignity. "After that little joke you pulled, I don't think so."

"You actually went through with that?" Sam piped up. Ben whirled around, shocked, as Carter burst into laughter.

"Went through with what?" Gwen asked, feeling out of the loop.

"Well, after Ben refused to go to the mall with us the first time, Carter figured it was because he didn't want to go shopping with a bunch of girls," Sam began. Carter stopped laughing long enough to continue.

"He said he was doing homework, which I knew was a lie," she said. "I mean, who does homework on a Saturday?"

Kevin scoffed. "Nice excuse Tennyson."

"Shut up!"

"So I told Evan to tell Ben that I had a coupon for Victoria's Secret," Carter finished. "I just left him to his imagination."

Gwen slowly turned to her cousin, a neutral expression on her face. Meeting his embarrassed face, she said, "Pervert."

"I'm a teenage boy!" Ben cried. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Quite a few things if you think about it," Kevin noted. He wore a shit-eating grin of his own.

Everyone stepped away from Ben and said, "Eeeewwww."

"OH SHUT UP!"

Carter quickly got over her disgust and grabbed his arm. "Come on, I'll take you to Hot Topic. You know the one by the Victoria's Secret."

"Stop it!" Ben yelled nearly in tears.

"I'll go too," Kevin said. "Watching Ben squirm is very entertaining."

"From the look of things, it's Pick on Ben Day," Gwen noted as they walked down the hall. Or being dragged against his will by his Goth girlfriend; as was Ben's case.

Sam walked up to Ben and quickly whispered in his ear: "If she ever does get a coupon, she'll totally let you pick out the colors."

Ben's eyes welled up with manly tears.

The reason why Ben and Evan look like each other really is just a cosmic joke. There isn't some special reason; I did it for shits and giggles.

As for everyone picking on Ben...yeah, I don't know. It all just kind of wrote itself out. But considering how Ben acts in later seasons, putting him down a few pegs early on in the story could help with his later character development. I dunno.

So, thoughts anyone?