Hey, readers. Friends. Allies and cohorts. Sorry that I haven't updated in a while. Okay, maybe not sorry. I've had a tough time after...well, the battle. After I ended that war. No one is going to try to avenge either side, so all I have to worry about is the past.

Nessie is dead. Archer is dead. I'm the only one from my old coven that is alive. That is a shitty feeling, I'll have you know. It's even worse when I have legitimate cause to tell myself that it was all my fault. That if I'd kept them all together we could have actually defended ourselves and fought back properly.

I've been talking to Castiel, which helps. He's seen his family fall and tear itself apart. He's watched himself kill his own brothers and sisters. He's been through so much, felt so much pain, that I am so grateful for him sticking around.

He tells me, often, that he is part of my new family. Sam and Dean are my family. Even Crowley, in a weird way, though he's disappeared recently. I can mourn the coven, while embracing my family. My real family. The one that I can count on, even in death. I know who these people are, and I know what they are capable of. I know them far better than I knew my coven, and I know I can trust them better, too.

So, I spend most of my time with Castiel now. When we're not talking, we're watching movies or doing research. For the moment, I've given up most forms of witchcraft. I'm trying to learn how to heal with stronger magic, and how to form barriers that nothing could hope to get through. But it's all theory. I haven't practiced. It doesn't feel right.

Dean says it's therapy. I don't disagree. I'm recovering, and I'm moving forwards.

Speaking of Dean...

We all know that I'm head-over-heels in love with the man. He knows it. And now I know how he feels. It's, honestly, a little disappointing. He cares about me, deeply, but does not imagine that he would ever love me the same way I love him. And that is the simple way of putting it.

I'm not angry, or sad. I don't have enough energy left in me to feel either of those things about anyone else. All I have is patience. One day, maybe, it will be different. If it's not, then I'll get over it. I won't get over him, but I can accept that he won't love me, if that is the case.

And I can try not to hex the next woman he dates... Unless I find her particularly appalling. And I wouldn't hurt her! I swear, I wouldn't. I would just scare her a little. Really, it would just make it that much easier to convince her that the supernatural exists. If someone is going to date one of these boys, they need to at least know that.

Afterall, if someone dates Dean, they would have to put up with a jealous witch.

Sam's been acting weird around me, even more so than usual. I don't know why, and I don't think I'll ask him. What's the point I know Sam. If something is bothering him, he knows he can come talk to me. If he doesn't talk to me, then I don't need to know. I trust him. I just hope he's okay.

I'm trying to convince the Winchesters to take me out hunting, the way we used to before I started to use my witchcraft to help out. I'm no good with a gun, but that doesn't always matter. Just being there, with my knowledge, makes me a part of the team. That's all I want right now. I want to feel the power of being on a team again. Even if it will never be the same.

There's a haunting nearby that I want to check out. If it's a hoax, then at least I got the boys out of the bunker. We would have to find another case if we're already ready for one.

I think they need a by-the-books case to kick them out of their own funk. Just good, old fashioned hunting. It will make up for the time I spent away, and the time they spent looking for me.

Ghost hunting really brings people together.