I know - it been a while but this is a rather long chapter to make up for it. Reviews are much appreciated :)

Jeff couldn't believe what he'd just done. Scott never cried. He'd just brought his eldest son to tears. What kind of father does that? Scott had been right as well.

Since when did Scott become more mature than his father. Jeff sighed. It had probably happened a long time ago. He'd had to grow up too fast. Jeff could see that now. Out of all his sons Scott had changed most drastically since Lucille's accident. He had made the sacrifices to ensure the other boys were happy and well cared for.

He wanted to be a part of his boys lives again - now more than ever - but that couldn't happen if he couldn't even breach the subject with his family. He should have known he couldn't just pretend like things were all right again. The damage had been done. He needed to deal with this head on, put his stupid pride aside and apologise to his boys properly. He gulped as his mother turned her furious gaze towards him once more. This was going to be tough to explain.

"And just what exactly was that Jefferson Tracy?" She hissed as she gently closed the door behind her. "I could hear you all the way from the next room!"

His mother was furious. He could tell that much. She didn't have her 'you need a lecture' voice - it was all icy and heated. He'd really done it this time. Scott was injured, tired and already incredibly emotional from the shock of the accident and worry for his brothers whom Jeff knew he cared about more than anything in the entire world. And what had he done? He'd gone in - seen his son on a hospital bed at his most vulnerable and brought him to tears. He knew this. It had just all happened so fast at the time. He wasn't thinking. God if he didn't get his act together - nothing was going to change.

What he really didn't want was his mother screaming at him too. He deserved it - he knew she would be right in doing so but he understood what he'd done wrong without her pointing it out to him. He already felt like the lowest being on earth.

He just turned, heading back down the hall towards his other boys. He could hear his mothers protests behind him but everything was just dulled - he couldn't take any more. When he reached John and Virgil's room, before opening the door, he turned slightly towards his mother. She immediately stopped her tyrant, seeing the look of resignation on his face. She still held a disapproving frown, letting him know things were far from over with this conversation but she didn't try to follow him, instead she turned on her heels and heading back into Scott's room.

Jeff took a deep breath and stepped into his other sons room. He slid into the chair by the door, his entire body slumped down not even having the energy left to sit up properly. This was too overwhelming. Why did everything have to happen at once? Two of his sons were fighting for their lives and the rest of his family couldn't stand to look at him.

He just needed to sit and think things through for a while and Jeff had to admit it was a lot easier sitting with his two unconscious sons that couldn't scream at him.

...

Scott had calmed down a little after his Grandma had left the room. A major factor was the two kids trying to squeeze the life out of him on either side. He always managed to put on a brave front around them, never wanting to show if he was unhappy or angry at their father. This time however, he didn't want to put on a front, he just wanted to cling to his brothers and allow them to help him for once. They may not understand everything that had just happened but they knew Scott was upset and that was enough for them to comfort him.

It wasn't long before their Grandma was back in the room. Her face was like thunder when she first entered but softened at the sight of the younger two curled up beside Scott. They were all staring at her. Alan and Gordon had big eyes full of trust as they waited for their Grandma to say something - to explain why their father had just acted like he was possessed by a vengeful spirit but Scott could see she didn't have anything to assure them with. She couldn't swoop in and fix everything this time.

"You're father didn't mean what he said Scott - you know that right?" Scott just looked down at the bed sheets, arms pulling his brothers closer into him. Seeing he wasn't going to respond their Grandma went on "He wants to make things up to you boys but its not easy for him"

"It's not easy for us either" Scott mumbled, eyes still not looking up. He knows what their Grandma is talking about, Jeff has lost his role in this family and he doesn't know how to get it back. Scott wants him to, he wants everything to go back to the way it used to be. Their mom wasn't coming back but they desperately needed their father, the father Jeff Tracy used to be that is. As much as he wanted it though, he couldn't just forgive Jeff that easy - he didn't want to pretend like nothing had happened. He didn't want to give up the roles he'd taken over in looking after his brothers. He couldn't.

He knew this needed to be sorted out though. "I want to speak to him"

His Grandma was startled at the sudden request and even more so when Scott started getting out of bed, shifting Alan over to the same side as Gordon so he could manoeuvre himself to the edge.

"Scott!" His Grandma came forward "I don't think this is a good idea"

Scott shook his head "No." He got up steadying himself on the bed, blinking away the faint dark spots from his eyes "I need to do this now" He paused slightly as he realised he was in a hospital gown. Of course he'd noticed earlier but he felt more self conscious standing up in it than when he was mostly concealed by the hospital sheets. He was happy to discover however that it did in fact cover his behind unlike some he'd seen on the TV. He still felt rather stupid walking about in it but he couldn't see his clothes anywhere in the vicinity and he'd already hyped himself up for this conversation. He knew if he didn't get it over with he'd spend hours in bed thinking about it before chickening out.

His Grandma was still hovering worriedly, concern for him evident in her eyes but he gave her a pleading look, hopefully conveying that he really needed to do this. She sighed. "Oh alright. He's gone in with John and Virgil."

Scott breath hitched slightly. Upon his determined insistence they'd taken him through in a wheelchair earlier to see his brothers - even of he had argued that the chair wasn't necessary. He didn't even want to think about what he'd seen in there but it was going to give him nightmares for the rest of his life. Seeing his brothers so vulnerable and broken was too overwhelming, he'd had to leave after a few minutes. The thought of seeing them again made him shudder but he wanted to be there for them, wanted to help them through all this and he definitely wanted to be there when they woke up.

He nodded in thanks towards his Grandma and steeled himself as he walked through the door. He tried to tell himself that he didn't need to be worried, this was his dad after all - he didn't need to be scared of his dad. He prepared himself. If his dad started shouting he would not back down. They were going to talk whether he wanted to or not.

Before he could even think about it he had pushed open the door to the room and immediately set eyes on his father. He didn't see what he had expected. He thought his father would be stiff, still fuelled by their previous argument and worry for his children but all he saw was a man slumped into a chair with a defeated look on his face. He was staring straight ahead, seemingly at his sons beds but his eyes weren't focused and seemed a million miles away. He hadn't even looked up when Scott opened the door.

"Dad?" He questioned quietly.

Jeff flinched at the sound before focusing on his sons face and straightening up in his chair. "Scott? Should you be out of bed?" His voice was laced with worry and Scott had a very hard time picturing the furious man that he had been talking to only a little while earlier.

"Yeah I'm alright" Scott shuffled his feet slightly "Can we talk?" He looked up "Properly this time."

Jeff looked in pride at his son. "I think that would be best"

Jeff sighed inwardly. Here was Scott - his teenage son - coming to him to ask to talk maturely instead of sulking and hiding away like he was doing. Looking at Scott now he was hard pressed not to see Scott as the little boy he had been years ago. The hospital gown he was wearing completely hid his built frame and made him look so vulnerable. He knew he couldn't get caught up in that though. If this conversation was going to happen he needed to treat Scott like an adult. Scott had become an adult in the past months, it saddened Jeff that he'd missed out on so much of his childhood, that he'd had to grow up too fast.

Jeff stood and motioned for Scott to follow him out into the corridor, he didn't want to have this conversation in that morbid room. Scott sat with relief on the bench just outside, Jeff had noticed he looked a bit pale but if Scott wanted to have this conversation now he wasn't going to push him away.

They sat in silence for a few seconds just settling into the situation before Scott spoke out "So - you said you wanted things to change?"

Jeff was grateful for the opening, Scott was giving him a chance this time and he was going to explain himself properly. He couldn't justify what he'd done but he owed Scott some sort of explanation.

He started from the beginning. "After your mother died...I couldn't even look at you boys for a while. Everything you did reminded me of her, you all had little pieces of her and it hurt too much to be around that." Jeff took a breath, he'd never told anyone this stuff before and he worried about saying it out loud in case Scott took it the wrong way.

He glanced up at his son but Scott's face was neutral, patiently waiting for him to continue. Jeff nodded "I shut myself off from everyone. At the time I'd told myself it'd only be for a little while until things stopped hurting." Jeff chuckled sadly "I should have known it wouldn't stop. It's never going to stop hurting. What I also didn't realise was that instead of pushing you boys away, I should have pulled you closer, we should have faced things together. By the time I realised this it was already too late."

Jeff's expression saddened deeply "I let my pride get in the way of fixing things. I didn't want to admit that I'd done something wrong, even though deep down I knew it had all been my fault." Jeff sighed, rubbed his eyes and looked directly at Scott "After a while I convinced myself you didn't need me anymore and I buried myself in work instead."

Scott's eyes softened "We always needed you and we still do - just in a different way."

Jeff let out a breath "I want to make things better Scott...I really do. I just don't know how."

Scott knew it was his turn to tell his side of the story now. He and his dad needed to fully understand each other before this could continue.

Scott sighed "I'm not entirely innocent in this either. After the accident...I just didn't want to think about it. I had to have something to distract me and looking after the others was like a full time job. I liked the responsibility and I let you drift - I didn't want to ask for help. After a while, it all just became second nature."

Scott leaned back in his chair staring up at the ceiling as he relived the memories "Getting everyone up in the mornings, taking the little ones to school, getting the chores done, helping with homework...and just keeping everyone happy." Scott smiled "I just wanted everyone else to have a normal childhood, I didn't want them to grow up too fast." Jeff was thinking to himself like you did but he didn't interrupt. "I tried to avoid talking about you with them, hoping they wouldn't notice."

Jeff felt a pang to the heart as he realised how much he'd left to Scott to deal with. Not just looking after their physical well-being but their mental as well. "Of course John could see straight through any of my lies - kids too smart for his own good."

Jeff smiled slightly at the fact Scott referred to John as a 'kid' when he was only two years his senior "John's helped so much - I couldn't have handled everything without him."

Again Jeff cursed himself for not being there. He should have been handling things not his sons. "The little ones haven't been too hard to fool, give them a game to play and they are engrossed for hours, just in their own little bubble. Gordon asks why you don't watch him swim anymore and Alan wonders why you don't tuck him in at night but they don't really understand enough"

Jeff felt tears well up in his eyes at that one. It stung, knowing his boys wanted him and he'd let them down. Scott seemed oblivious to Jeff's anguish as he stared at the ceiling and continued "Virgil's felt it the worst. He noticed your absence all the time and he has been adamant on reminding everybody every chance he can get. It wasn't so bad at the start when everyone was still getting over their grief but lately he's just been asking so many questions. John and I always sort of understood and accepted why you weren't always there but Virgil's just a little too young."

Scott got worried suddenly "It's not that I blame him or anything, he is still young and he should be allowed to act his age but sometimes he just got too much for me to handle. Or he would upset the younger ones." Scott covered his face with his hands, voice breaking "God everything's just been getting worse and worse as time goes on."

Jeff reached over and put his arm around Scott's shoulder. Scott stiffened upon the contact and Jeff was about to pull away until Scott leaned into him. Jeff tightened his grip and tried to get a hold of his emotions. He hadn't realised how much he had been missing the past few months, he couldn't even comprehend how blind he'd been. How could he not have noticed everything that had been going on? He been so focused on his own struggles he'd left his children to struggle on their own and Scott to try and deal with all his little brothers.

Scott himself felt relieved that everything was finally out in the open, he felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He leaned in to Jeff comforting hold, it had been so long since his father had made any contact with him at all and he didn't want to be the one to pull away from that.

His father leaned down and whispered gently "I'm so sorry Scotty" he felt his father rubbing his back gently "I'll make it up to you"

Scott pulled away regretfully and looked his dad in the eyes "You don't need to make it up to me - just be there okay? For the guys. For me."

Scott looked so hopeful, Jeff had to choke out his response "I will - I promise."

Scott sniffed and tried to get a hold of himself, he still had stuff he wanted to talk about. He put on his serious face again "You can't force it though, okay?" Scott saw his fathers face fall but continued "The guys aren't use to having you around anymore" he quickly adjusted "That doesn't mean they don't want you though - like Virgil..." Scott glanced back to the room currently occupying his injured brothers and steeled his resolve "Virgil wanted you at his recital so badly - they all still want you around - but I don't think they want a father figure from you just yet. If you start taking control again they might push you away." Jeff nodded in understanding. Scott was right, he'd been absent for so long. He'd pushed his sons away and they'd turned to Scott instead. He knew it was going to be a very long time if ever that his sons started coming to him instead of Scott when they needed help.

He met Scott's eye to convey the truthfulness in his next statement "I understand" he put a hand on Scott's shoulder "Don't worry"

Scott exhaled a breath of relief and allowed himself to relax. That was it. It was all out. He felt so hopeful that things would change now. He wanted and desperately needed their father back and he could only hope he stuck to his promise.

"So it's true - the great Jefferson Tracy is in the hospital"

Both Scott and Jeff started at the new voice as a man appeared from around the corner to the right. Jeff narrowed his eyes at the man - he had a strong New Yorker accent despite the fact they were still in Kansas. He had a big build and the belly to go with it, his already greasy hair was slicked back with gel and he just had a generally dirty look about him. This mans mere presence made Jeff want to pull his son in closer to him.

Jeff stood to face the man, positioning himself in front of Scott. "Can I help you, sir?"

"Mr. Campbell" The man held out his hand to Jeff which he reluctantly took.

Jeff was not about to be pulled in by fake pleasantries, he could sense something wasn't quite right about this man "I would introduce myself but it appears you already know my name so I'll repeat, can I help you with something?"

The man smiled tightly and Jeff didn't like the look in his eye "Ah yes - see I couldn't help but overhear some of that heart to heart you two just had and let me tell you - I was extremely touched" Jeff growled under his breath at the mans tone, he was starting to put the pieces together in this conversation and he didn't like where it was headed. Quicker than Jeff could even comprehend the man had pulled a small notepad and pen out of his jacket pocket. "So what exactly has brought you to the hospital today?" The man turned to Scott "What about you young man - have anything to add?"

Jeff growled as he once again blocked off the view to his son. He should have known. Reporter. He couldn't get away from them recently - being a rather successful ex-astronaut and with his business finally gaining some notice, they were swarming for a story.

"Who're you with?" Jeff growled.

The man smiled "New York Times - and let me tell you Mr. Tracy, you have been quite the mystery recently and people want to know. I mean you lost your wife-" Jeff and Scott both visibly stiffened at that statement "-You started a very successful business from scratch and you've been raising five boys all on your own. People want to read this story on the perfect man that is Jeff Tracy." Mr. Campbell paused smugness only increasing as he finished "But from what I just heard the whole Brady Brunch family act isn't entirely true is it? Now that would be a story" He held up his hands gesturing in the air while proposing a title "The great Jeff Tracy - neglectful father"

Scott himself growled thing time, standing up from the bench he moved forward with his fists balled. Jeff put out a gentle hand to stop him and pulled him up beside him so that he was just standing in front of the younger boy.

Jeff took a deep breath "Mr. Campbell, I suggest you leave us alone before I call security and have you escorted off the premises." Scott could clearly hear the businessman in Jeff's voice as he spoke coolly without raising his voice. It had the same affect though as it sent slight shivers down Scott's spine.

To Scott's surprise, Mr. Campbell seemed to ignore Jeff completely "Word in reception is that your boys were involved in a car crash. Were you driving Jeff? Are any of them hurt? I can see Scott here was injured." He gestured vaguely to Scott's hospital gown and Scott felt very vulnerable in it again. Jeff was just worried that this man knew his sons name. "I believe I overheard some doctors earlier - John and Virgil? What happened to them Jeff? Are they in here?" Mr. Campbell pointed and started walking towards the door to the injured boys room. Scott snapped, not wanting this man anywhere near his younger brothers. "Get away from there!"

Scott all but ran in front of the door - blocking the entire thing with his body. The reporter halted "Hit a nerve have I? Are they not going to make it? Are they already gone?"

Scott had tears streaming down his face by now. He didn't know how much he'd cried in the last 24 hours but he didn't know how he even had any tears left by now. Everything was just getting to him today and he was thanking the lord he didn't have to deal with everything himself. He wouldn't have been able to do it - this reporter was pushing all the right buttons and he was sure if Jeff wasn't there the man would have all the details he needed.

Luckily Jeff stepped in at this point - literally shielding Scott from the man once again. His voice was low and dangerous "Stay away from my sons"

Mr. Campbell could clearly see this conversation was over and he sighed putting away his notepad "I will have my story"

"Not if I have you arrested - My lawyers will be in contact"

The reporter simply scoffed but retreated anyway. Jeff immediately turned to his son who was leaning heavily on the door as the toll of the emotional outburst took affect on his already weakened body.

"You okay?"

Scott just nodded and started furiously wiping tears from his eyes "Sorry"

Jeff pulled his son in for a hug, clearly surprising Scott as he stiffened before relaxing "You have nothing to be sorry for Scott, men like that have no place in a hospital" Jeff continued to hug his son. Scott had hit a growth spurt lately and was quickly catching up with his father but Jeff was still able to just rest his chin and his sons head and rub his sons back. Jeff hadn't seen Scott this vulnerable since the day of the accident and it pained him how much Scott must have been holding in. As much as it saddened him to see Scott so emotional, he was glad it was coming out now.

He needed this.

To be continued...