Chapter Eight: Attack of the Firefly
Disclaimer: Same as before.
"C/O Moretti reports that Cobra operatives Firefly and Baroness attempted to steal advanced technology from subject Dr. Jumba Jookiba. The operation ended in a failure. C/O Provost, C/O Bubbles and Agent Tresckow were helpful in halting the operation, as were members of the Pelekai household." - Official Report Submitted by CIA Case Officer Lindsay Moretti on the events of 8 June 2003.
Pelekai Residence
Kokua Town, HI
United States
8 June 2003, 1930
Lindsay had her hand on the butt of the 9mm Sig pistol at the holster hidden under the hem of her shirt as she sat on the sofa in the living room. She was keeping an eye on Lilo who was watching television.
She seems awfully calm, Lindsay thought as she watched the little girl. But then again she's had to deal with all these aliens included a demented inventor who takes pride in being an evil genius.
She glanced up and saw RoboTarantula skittering across the ceiling, and Stitch hanging off one of the walls.
"Perimeter secure," Henry said as he walked into the living room.
"I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad Jumba has all his inventions out in force," Lindsay replied.
"Still, defense isn't my favorite sort of thing," Henry replied.
"Knowing your background, I can understand," Lindsay said. An ex-Rhodesian SAS soldier isn't one to favor defense. Especially since surviving the Battle of the Line.
"The last time I was anywhere near a defensive position was at the High Veldt Line," Henry replied, using the South African name for the combined South African/Rhodesian defensive perimeter north of Praetoria during the Cobra invasion.
"To be honest," Henry continued, "I'd rather hunt Firefly and the Baroness down versus letting them try and break in."
"Taking the offensive," Lindsay replied, "A classic SAS mind set."
"And it does work," Henry countered.
"But we do have the Pelekais to keep an eye on as well. That's got to factor into the equation."
"This is true," Henry replied, "In thirteen years of military service I've only once been involved in static defense, and bloody hated it."
"This isn't the Battle of the Line," Lindsay began, "Or the Fighting Retreat of 1998."
"True, but it's a siege in either sense. Dull monotony and…" Henry replied.
"GNOME POWER!" came the bellow from outside.
"Speak too soon, much, Tresckow?" Lindsay snapped.
"Keep an eye on Lilo," Henry replied.
"If Gnomekop is attacking so overtly, Firefly and the Baroness can't be too far behind," Lindsay protested.
"It's called a distraction," Henry replied, before heading towards the front of the house.
Lindsay nodded, gently taking hold of Lilo's right arm, "Come on, Lilo, let's go upstairs."
"But…" Lilo said.
"No buts," Lindsay said, gently but firmly giving Lilo's arm a tug, "You'll be safer in your room, come on."
Lilo followed Lindsay's lead up the stairs and down the hall to her room. She noticed Lindsay's hand going under the hem of her shirttail and could see the butt of the 9mm pistol occasionally peeking out.
She knows what she's doing, but I don't like that Stitch and Cobra are out there too. Lilo thought.
"All stations, this is Philly, Hula secure," Lindsay said over the small radio headset she wore, "Durban moving towards Four Eyes' position."
Must be some kind of secret code, Lilo observed as she went into her bedroom with Lindsay ahead of her.
As they went into the room they heard the distinct boom of a rocket firing.
Gnomekop moved through the woods towards the Four Eyed Giant's fortress. He could sense Turbo Troll was nearby.
And then he saw Turbo Troll standing on the porch of the house.
"Enemy mine!" Gnomekop shouted.
As he dove towards Turbo Troll he heard the boom as the Four Eyed Giant fired his rocket propelled net.
BZZZZWAP! The net coursed with electricity as it struck its target.
"JUMBA!" Pleakley shouted as the net wrapped around him and subsequently electrocuted him.
Henry had run outside in time to see Gnomekop and Turbo Troll wrestling with one another on the porch.
As he slammed the door closed he heard Jumba exclaim, "Damn it, I missed!"
"Durban this is Chuckles," Henry heard over the earpiece he wore, "Did you catch Gnomekop?"
"Negative, Four Eyes accidentally engaged One Eye with the rocket propelled net launcher," Henry replied, "Going to disentangle One Eye."
"I go reload rocket and try again," Jumba said.
"No, hold off on that!" Henry shouted as he ran over, carrying the graphite pole with the hook and insulated handle.
He ran over to Pleakley and hauled the net off of him, "Why the Hell were you out of position?"
"Uh...call of nature," Pleakley said, "I didn't wanna run back inside the house."
"Unbelievable," Henry grumbled, before he spotted movement in the bushes near Pleakley. "Pleakley, stay down."
Henry silently drew his Sig just as he saw the Baroness walk from the bushes. As the Baroness reached for her weapon Henry fired three rounds in rapid succession.
"What the Devil?" Henry shouted as he watched the Baroness melt into a pasty goop.
Just then the sound of gunshots from behind and above him could be heard in conjunction with the shattering of glass. Near Lilo's bedroom window.
"Lilo, stay away from the window," Lindsay warned as she picked the little girl up and carried her further towards the back of the room.
Right when she set Lilo down and turned around she saw Firefly's face in the window.
Shit. Lindsay thought as she reached for the pistol at her hip and drew it out. Heart hammering she stepped between Lilo and Firefly, gun drawn and firing. Can't let that bastard get to Lilo.
The first bullet shattered the window and the remaining four struck Firefly in the chest and face.
"What the hell!?" Lindsay exclaimed as she saw Firefly melt.
"Philly this is Durban, are you guys alright up there?"
Lindsay barely heard Henry's voice through her earpiece as her heartrate went back down to normal.
She glanced over to Lilo who was curled up on the floor, keeping an eye on the window as she went to check on the girl.
"Shh," Lindsay said as Lilo sniffled, crying a little, "It's ok, it's ok."
"Are you guys ok?" Henry's voice repeated in her earpiece.
"We're ok," Lindsay replied, tucking her Sig back into its holster and holding onto Lilo, "I just shot Firefly but he dissolved into some weird paste."
"So did the Baroness," Henry replied.
"Synthoids," Chuckles said over the radio, "You two just ran into synthoids."
"Agent Tresckow reports that Dr. Jookiba's inventions were helpful in fending off Cobra's efforts. However he would have been much more appreciative if briefed a bit more thoroughly on the concept of synthoids." - Official Report submitted by Henry Tresckow on 8 June 2003 to ACME HQ.
"Good," the Baroness said as she watched the scene from hiding, "Looks like the first two synthoids managed to get the job done, even if they were the older models."
"Look, it was all I could get at the time," Firefly snapped.
"No need to get defensive," the Baroness replied.
"Whatever, they've mostly fulfilled their purpose," Firefly replied, "Sounds like the chumps have engaged Synthoids from Team 1."
"Team 2 hasn't run across anyone yet," the Baroness replied.
"Oh, but I'm sure they will," Firefly said.
"I just hope the idiot doesn't screw things up," the Baroness replied irritably.
"Gnomekop is playing right into our hands," Firefly said, "I was counting heavily on that. I don't know about you."
"I was counting on Gnomekop following the script of listening to plans..." Baroness replied.
"You clearly don't watch much television, do you?"
"I have better things to do than watch a ridiculous cartoon about a magical gnome."
"Pity," Firefly quipped, "you'd have known to plan better around Gnomekop."
"How was I supposed to know that I would be working with Gnomekop," Baroness said, as she started to walk towards the house.
"Don't tell me, you're the intelligence officer," Firefly said, "I'm just a dumb grunt..."
"Finally, you see my point and..." Baroness began before she stepped on a small prong sticking out of the ground.
Suddenly a Facehugger popped out of the ground and latched onto the Baroness' face.
"Get it off me! Get it off me! Get it off me!" Baroness shouted, staggering around the clearing.
Damn it you're making too much noise, Firefly thought.
ZAP! The Facehugger used its tail taser to shock the Baroness unconscious.
"Bzzzzzuzzuzuzuzuzuzuzzzz!" The Baroness shouted as the Facehugger electrocuted her into unconsciousness.
THUMP! The Baroness hit the ground and then the Facehugger removed itself from the Baroness and fell over on it's back.
"It came from over there!" a voice sounded.
Great! Someone made too much noise, Firefly thought as he heard the sound of footsteps coming closer.
He reached into a pouch on his belt and withdrew a small container. It was full of synthoid goop from a synthoid that had exploded before this assignment. He smeared some of it onto the upside down Facehugger before grabbing hold of the Baroness and dragging her deeper into the woods.
You owe me big time for this, Firefly thought.
It was the sound of a loud pop that had drawn Chuckles' attention. He could see Cobra Bubbles scanning the woods as they heard the sound of the pop.
Scanning in the opposite direction he saw the blue tinted flash of electricity and said, "It came from over there!"
The two men ran over towards the flash as Chuckles said, "All stations, this is Cobra. Facehugger Mine tripped."
From where they stood the lights of the Pelekai house were only slightly obscured by the trees and bushes, and in their dimmed glow they could see the Facehugger on its back, a smear of synthoid goop on the grass nearby.
"Another synthoid," Cobra said.
"Cobra, Chuckles, this is Durban. I'm heading back towards the house," Henry's voice echoed over their earpieces.
Good idea, Chuckles thought. The synthoids had to have been head fakes.
"Lilo, stay back from the window," Lindsay cautioned as she saw the little girl heading towards her shattered bedroom window.
She reached over and bodily picked Lilo up, "Lindsay, there's someone in the yard!"
Just as she had pulled Lilo away from the window a trio of bullets flew into the room, smacking into the ceiling.
Shit that was close! Lindsay thought.
"Sighted Firefly," Lindsay could hear Henry's voice through her earpiece. "Tally-ho!"
Lindsay winced, biting back a sharp tongued remark, recognizing the brevity code word 'tally ho' as a sign that Henry was pursuing Firefly.
Remember, lower the volume setting on the earpiece next time. Lindsay thought.
It was the sound of gunfire being aimed at Lilo's bedroom window that had clued Henry in to Firefly's whereabouts. As he ran towards the edge of the woods he saw the man aiming a Skorpion machine pistol and firing it.
"Sighted Firefly, Tally-ho!"
Firefly had been reloading the weapon when he had heard and seen Henry coming towards him.
"Freeze! Police!" Henry shouted, his own gun drawn.
Firefly turned and ran.
"Halt or I will shoot!" Henry shouted as he ran after him.
Firefly dropped the empty magazine onto the ground and slammed another magazine into the magazine well of his weapon before turning to face Henry.
Henry squeezed the trigger on the Sig, firing four rounds quickly and accurately, striking Firefly in the chest and ribcage. He watched as the Cobra saboteur melted into the same pasty goop characteristic of synthoids.
"All station, this is Durban. Engaged another bloody synthoid," Henry reported, "Heading back to homeplate."
Shit that was close, Firefly thought. After Cobra Bubbles and Chuckles had examined the Facehugger and saw the synthoid goop he'd splattered around the area they had headed back on patrol.
He heard the gunshots from the other side of the house, Team 1 had to have just engaged whoever was protecting the Pelekai household.
He heard the shouts that followed, someone was chasing Team 1. Sounds like a law enforcement officer. Did the Pelekais have police protection?
Sorry, Baroness, I've gotta do this without you. I work best alone anyway. Firefly thought as he crept towards the house.
Lindsay carried Lilo into the hallway just outside her bedroom, "Maybe it's safer away from the window."
The sound of fighting downstairs echoed upward. Lindsay set Lilo down and said, "Stay here."
She peered around the corner just in time to see Gnomekop and Turbo Troll wrestling around on the floor just beneath the stairs.
"Ok, so it might not be that much safer," Lindsay replied.
"HAHA Choota!" Stitch shouted and she saw Stitch throw a paint can connected to a piece of rope on the ceiling down the stairs.
WHAM!
Lindsay chanced peeking around the corner again just in time to see Firefly rubbing his head as and stand back up again.
"Alright you blue furred freak you're gonna…"
Stitch shouted, "Laying pipe! Hahahahaha!"
Stitch hurled a metal pipe, connected with two ropes to the ceiling down towards Firefly, laughing loudly, "Ee Choota!"
CLANG! CRASH! WHUMP!
Firefly fell down the staircase, the back of his head hitting the paint can as Stitch bounded down the stairs after him. Then Stitch picked up Firefly and airplane spun him over the top of his head several times before throwing him out the living room window.
Stitch stood on the window sill of the second broken window, beating on his chest like a gorilla with all four arms shouting an ululating war chant.
Now that's a one alien wrecking crew, Lindsay thought. How I'm going to sanitize this for my report, God only knows.
Lindsay felt a tug on her pants leg and she turned around to see Lilo standing behind her. The little girl looked up at her, eyes curious and with a serious expression.
"So do you still wanna cut up Jumba's Blockbuster card?"
"Not right now," Lindsay replied, "I'm gonna regret this, I'm sure, but his demented imagination might well have saved the day."
The Baroness got shakily to her feet with a groan in time to hear the sound of shattering glass. As she crouched behind the bushes where Firefly had left her she had what amounted to a front row seat to Firefly being thrown out of a window by Stitch.
She saw a dark haired man jump to one side and heard him shout, "Stitch! Watch where you throw people!"
Hah! Serves you right for leaving me behind. The Baroness thought to herself.
She moved quietly through the trees and brush around the border to the back of the house, watching as Stitch jumped on top of Firefly and started wailing on him with all four arms.
Ow! Brutal! But you deserved it. The Baroness thought as she headed towards where Lilo's window had been shot out.
She spun the grappling hook on the end of a rope over her head before tossing it through the window. Feeling the hook catching on something solid then testing the weight before scaling up the house and climbing through the broken window.
"Stitch! Watch where you throw people!" Henry shouted as he jumped to one side.
He saw Stitch pounding on his chest with all four arms, shouting, "Achi chichi baba baba!"
Then Stitch jumped onto Firefly and started punching the Cobra saboteur with all four arms. Got him handled.
Then there was the sound of crashing and things breaking downstairs in the Pelekai house. "Philly, this is Durban, looks like Stitch has Firefly well handled. I'm going inside to help Four Eyes and One Eye."
"Acknowledged," Lindsay replied.
Henry opened the front door just in time to see Jumba and Pleakley lying on the living room floor, rising slowly to their feet. From the kitchen he could hear Gnomekop and Turbo Troll fighting.
"Gnome Power!"
"Troll Strength!"
"What the Hell happened to you two?" Henry replied.
"Evidently Gnomekop's power belt is a lot more powerful than it looks…" Jumba groaned.
"And Turbo Troll is pretty strong for an action figure," Pleakley added.
"Right, we need to get those two contained," Henry said as he headed for the kitchen with Jumba and Pleakley in tow.
"All stations, Durban. I've got Four Eyes and One Eye, going after Gnomekop and Turbo Troll," Henry reported as he headed into the kitchen.
"Looks like Tresckow engaged yet another Synthoid," Chuckles said to Cobra Bubbles, "It tried to shoot Moretti."
"I heard," Cobra replied, tapping his earpiece, "To include Tresckow shouting Tally Ho like a maniac."
CRACK!
Cobra Bubbles raised his left hand and he and Chuckles froze, just listening. He gestured with his left hand to the direction the noise came from.
POP! ZAP!
Both men ran towards the sound in time to see the Baroness step on yet another Facehugger Mine. Or at least what they thought was the Baroness until she exploded in a shower of synthoid goop.
"Don't tell him, but Jumba's inventions were actually helpful this time," Chuckles commented.
"Your secret is safe with me," Cobra Bubbles replied.
"Lilo, stay with your sister and David in her room for now," Lindsay replied.
"But…" Lilo began.
"No buts, young lady," Lindsay replied sternly as she led the little girl to Nani's bedroom and opened the door with a slight creak.
"Nice of you to join us," A Romanian accented voice began, its owner levelling a pistol at Lindsay's chest.
Lindsay's heart jumped, eyes darting slightly to the Baroness' left, where she could see David and Nani lying on the ground. I don't see blood, but that doesn't mean she didn't kill them.
"Now step inside and set the gun on the ground," the Baroness said, "Or I put a hole in you."
Lindsay noticed Nani twitching, starting to rise. Ok, distract the Baroness long enough…
Lindsay dropped to one knee, slowly setting the Sig on the ground just as Nani stood up and charged from behind, grabbing a hold of the Baroness' legs. Lindsay shoved Lilo out of the path of the doorway and grabbed a hold of her Sig.
THUMP! The Baroness hit the ground and let go of her pistol. Nani was scrambling up her back, going for a chokehold.
The Baroness threw an elbow, managing to catch Nani in the eye. Lindsay kicked the Baroness' gun out of reach, aiming her Sig, hesitating. If I shoot I either run the risk of shooting Nani by accident or the bullet going through the Baroness and into Nani. Some choice.
The Baroness reached over to her belt and Lindsay instantly recognized the cylindrical device she clutched in a hand.
"Lilo! Get back!" Lindsay shouted, stepping between herself and Lilo.
"Unhand me! Now!" The Baroness shouted.
Nani scrambled away when she saw the grenade in the Baroness' hand, "Much better."
The Baroness rose to her feet before throwing the grenade and jumping out of the window.
Lindsay saw the grenade descend towards the ground, the pin pulled and the spoon disengaged. She pushed Lilo further down the hallway before turning around and throwing herself onto the ground, shielding the little girl with her own body.
She heard the boom and the felt the flash. But didn't feel shrapnel tearing into her. She stood up and turned around in time to see Nani staggering around. Flashbang grenade. She threw a flashbang grenade to just stun us to cover her escape.
Lindsay checked Lilo over, making sure the little girl was unhurt before heading over to Nani, gently checking her for wounds. She guided Nani to a sitting position on the bed.
With a groan David rose shakily to his feet. Lindsay headed over to attend to him, checking for cuts and bruises and finding no serious injuries. She guided him to the bed and had him sit beside Nani.
"All stations, this is Philly, Baroness just attacked us and got away. The Pelekais are fine," Lindsay replied.
Firefly hadn't exactly been taking the pummeling from Stitch lying down. He had been not only trying to shield himself from especially powerful blows, but he'd tried fighting back as well.
Little bugger is surprisingly heavy. Firefly thought as he shielded his face from a two armed punch from both arms of Stitch's right side. He reached with his left hand, groping along his belt as Stitch continued to rain blow after blow onto him.
His fingers closed around a collapsible metal rod which he extracted and extended. Pressing with his thumb onto a small switch on the handle he heard the hum of current as the Taser flared to life.
"YAAGGGHH!" Firefly shouted and shocked Stitch with the Taser.
Unfortunately he had forgotten, in the heat of the moment, that Stitch was standing on him and thus…
"YOOWWWW! WOWWW! ZOWWWW!" Firefly shouted as he too was being electrocuted by his own stun gun.
CRASH.
The sound of a window breaking could be heard and the Baroness came to a not entirely graceful landing on the grass beneath Nani's bedroom window. Some detached part of Firefly noticed that the Baroness rubbed part of her tailbone where she had taken a rather hard landing on her butt.
Then he felt Stitch's weight fly off of him as the Baroness kicked out with one foot and kicked Stitch off of his chest.
"Come on!" the Baroness shouted as she hauled Firefly to his feet.
As they ran away from Stitch Firefly noticed what looked like a large can of Fosters with a sprinkler head on top and mechanical arms and legs.
"Got it!" Firefly shouted and grabbed a hold of the device by tossing a burlap sack he'd folded up in one of his pockets over it.
"Let's get out of here!" Baroness shouted as they fled.
Stitch rose shakily to his feet. The electric prod Firefly used packed quite a wallop. But other than his fur being slightly singed he was alright.
He could hear the sound of fighting from the kitchen and ran towards it. As he ran inside he could see Jumba and Pleakley lying on the ground.
"Ooh, at least I landed on something soft this time…" Jumba groaned.
"Yeah, me!" Pleakley replied.
He could see Henry was carrying Jumba's rocket propelled net launcher, aiming it at Gnomekop and Turbotroll who were busily tearing the kitchen apart as they fought one another.
"Belt Blaster!" Gnomekop shouted, firing a blast from his powerbelt that obliterated the wall clock, and a good chunk of the wall along with it.
"Troll Strength!" Turbo Troll shouted, hurling a canteloupe at Gnomekop who blasted it out of the air with his power belt.
"Gabba Jaba! Wagga! Gakka!" Stitch shouted.
Henry turned around, "What, Stitch? I'm a bit busy at the moment!"
"I think he means don't fire that thing inside the house!" Lindsay shouted from the top of the staircase as she ran into view, "You'll set something on fire!"
"More or less that's what that means," Jumba said, "I think he also had the words 'you idiot' on the end of it."
"I'm sure a fire would be only slightly less damaging than what Gnomekop and Turbo Troll are doing right now?" Henry countered, still peering through the aperture sight on the tubular launcher on his shoulder.
"Bagga Wa!" Stitch insisted.
"Alright, go for it," Henry said, "But if you can't take those two down…"
"Wagga…" Stitch said with a nod.
"Right," Henry replied.
Stitch promptly took of running. In the opposite direction from the fighting.
"What the Hell!?" Henry exclaimed, and raised the launcher to his right shoulder, aiming.
"Henry! Wait!" Lindsay shouted, nearly falling down the stairs as she ran towards him, "Look up!"
Henry paused, and glanced upward, in time to see Stitch being chased by RoboTarantula.
"Wocka! Wocka! Wocka!" RoboTarantula shouted.
"Jumba! You still haven't fixed that thing's voice box!?" Pleakley shouted.
"Shut up Pleakley!" Henry, Lindsay, and Jumba shouted.
Stitch led RoboTarantula until the latter was positioned atop Gnomekop and Turbo Troll who were currently grappling each other atop the Pelekai's dining room table.
He could see Henry was still aiming the rocket powered net launcher. He had to time this just right.
Once he was right over the top of the table he shouted, "Jatse! Jatse! Pooja!"
*POOF!*
RoboTarantula fired a web, or rather an electrified weighted net at Gnomekop and TurboTroll, entangling the combatants and shocking them into unconsciousness. Or relatively so for small and very destructive robots.
"See, Tresckow," Lindsay said, "that was still less damage than you would've done."
"Speaking of damage," Cobra Bubbles said, as he and Chuckles walked back into the house, "Firefly and the Baroness managed to make off with another of Jumba's inventions."
"Oh God," Lindsay groaned, "Which one?"
"I wouldn't worry about that," Jumba interrupted.
"Two Cobra operatives made off with some form of advanced alien technology gives me a lot to worry about," Lindsay countered.
"Well, not if device has a self-destruct mechanism inside it," Jumba said, "If they made off with any of the walking cherry bombs, the pepper spray sprinkler or even on of the Facehugger mines or bouncing skunk bombs then if they take them any further than a kilometer of the house they will explode!"
Jumba rolled over onto his back, laughing as he clutched his stomach, "I am genius! HAHA!"
"You are something, alright," Lindsay replied, "Namely a lunatic. And what about parts of your inventions?"
"Hah! They might as well go to Radio Shack where I buy most of the things I use for my inventions," Jumba replied.
"C/O Moretti assesses that no alien technology has fallen into Cobra hands." - Official Report Submitted by CIA Case Officer Lindsay Moretti on the events of 8 June 2003.
Outskirts of Kokua Town
Kokua Town, HI
United States
8 June 2003, 2215
"So lets see what we managed to grab," The Baroness said as she grabbed a hold of Firefly's arm.
"You mean what I managed to grab," Firefly said peevishly, "The thing that likely salvaged this entire operation."
"Fine, that you managed to grab," The Baroness said, "Now open the bag and let's see what we got!"
"Patience," Firefly replied, as they stopped by the side of the road and opened the bag.
Right when Firefly opened the bag he found himself looking at what looked like a Fosters can with four mechanical legs and a sprinkler head built into the top.
The item promptly sprang to life and the sprinkler head rotated, spraying a clear liquid that not only smelled horrible but clearly had pepper spray mixed into it.
"AIEEE! ARGHH!"
"AUGH!"
The screams of Firefly and the Baroness carried through the humid evening air of Kauai. And it would be the following breeze that told them that there had apparently been a slightly caustic substance in the chemical mixture that dissolved their clothing.
"You've clearly put on a little weight in all the wrong places," Firefly quipped only for the Baroness to kick him in the groin.
"First we fail to steal any alien technology. Then we get beat up by a bunch of traps and a pint sized blue furred alien. Can this night get any worse?" The Baroness angrily groaned.
The sound of sirens coming their way, attached to a police car answered her question.
"Oh no…" The Baroness groaned.
To Be Continued...