Parachuting, News and Booby Traps
Disclaimer: Same as before...
Pelekai Residence
Kokua Town, HI
United States
8 June 2003, 2345
"So let me get this straight," Lindsay smirked as she and Henry worked to replace the window in Lilo's bedroom, "You have sixty-three parachute jumps to your name, yet in your own words you 'bloody hate parachuting'? I thought you served in the Rhodesian Special Air Service."
"Let's get this straight, I jumped if the bloody mission entailed it," Henry replied, with a smirk of his own. "That didn't mean I sodding liked it at all."
"You still served in a unit that has the word Air in its title and implies lots of parachuting. Besides aren't a lot of SAS men skydivers in their off duty hours? I was reading the biography of a British SAS soldier that also pioneered a lot of freefall parachuting techniques used in civilian skydiving for military use."
"I wasn't like some of the lads who took up skydiving in their off duty hours."
"To be fair, a lot of people find skydiving fun," Lindsay replied, as she held the glass pane against the frame of the window, "Me included."
"Slamming into the ground at a speed slightly less than a slow moving car accident tends to get old. Also fifty of said parachute jumps involved facing large numbers of decidedly homicidal blokes with automatic weapons upon landing," Henry countered as he finished applying the sealant to the edge of the glass.
"Okay, I do see your point. But there aren't 'large numbers of decidedly homicidal blokes with automatic weapons' waiting for you on the ground in normal skydiving."
"Point made. And at any rate I mostly walked or rode wheeled vehicles in my military service versus jumped out of aircraft. How many times did you ever have to parachute from a plane?"
"Five," Lindsay replied, "All of them during paramilitary training at the Farm."
"And that is why you're still keen on skydiving," Henry concluded with a smile, "Now to let the epoxy set and the window's all fixed up."
The two of them walked downstairs to find Cobra Bubbles, in company with Chuckles sitting in the two easy chairs in the room. Near them Lilo lay asleep on the sofa clutching her ragdoll, Scrump in her arms. Stitch was sitting beside Lilo, watching the two of them.
Lindsay saw Nani holding an ice pack over her eye, where the Baroness had managed to connect with a thrown elbow. David walked into the kitchen beside her.
"Good, now that everyone's here we can get started," Cobra began.
"Got a report that the Baroness and Firefly were arrested for indecent exposure," Chuckles began.
"I'll place a call to ACME's legal team, see if we can't get access to those two before the bloody snakes bail them out of the lockup," Henry replied as he headed into the kitchen to do just that.
"Better make it fast, especially if Cobra has set them up with diplomatic immunity," Lindsay offered.
"Right," Henry said with a nod, heading outside to make his telephone call.
Lilo woke up with a slight yawn as she heard Henry closing the door as he stepped outside.
"Okay then, we can get started," Cobra said, "Obviously we have to do something about those robots first."
"I'll get the fire started," Chuckles began.
"No, don't burn them!" Lilo exclaimed, eyes popping open and now wide awake.
"Lilo, we can always buy you new toys." Nani said, still holding the ice pack in place.
"It's not about that!" Lilo snapped.
"Well maybe I could build little girl new toys and..." Jumba began.
"NO YOU WON'T!" Everyone but Lilo shouted.
"Okay, it was just idea..." Jumba protested.
"Haven't your inventions done enough damage!?" Pleakley interjected, waving his arms dramatically.
"Wocka. Wocka. Wocka." RoboTarantula said as it skittered across the floor and up the nearest wall.
"Exhibit A, ladies and gentlemen!" Pleakley shouted, pointing.
Henry came back into the living room, cell phone in hand just then. "What's all the noise?"
"We just talked Jumba out of building new toys for Lilo," Lindsay exclaimed, "So what's the verdict?"
"Our legal team just told me they'd be in touch," Henry replied, "But suffice to say there's bloody little they can do if the Baroness and Firefly were operating on diplomatic immunity."
"What!?" David protested, "They broke into the house and if it hadn't been for you guys..."
"Sadly the worst that will happen to them is they'll be expelled from the U.S. A slap on the wrist and nothing more," Lindsay explained, "that's sadly the case for any officials with diplomatic immunity."
Henry looked like he was about to elaborate when the sound of Ode to Joy echoed into the room.
"Agent Tresckow," Henry replied as he answered his cell, listening before exclaiming,"You've got to be bloody joking."
Lindsay watched as Henry calmed down and replied, "No, I understand. Thanks for the effort."
Henry closed his phone and said, "Sadly Firefly and Baroness were operating with diplomatic immunity."
"No surprise there," Chuckles replied.
"At any rate we managed to keep any alien technology from falling into Cobra hands this time," Henry replied.
"I fear that they will continue more operations here on Kaua'i," Cobra Bubbles concluded.
"And that's why we're here," Lindsay replied, "All of us."
Kaua'i County Jail
Lihue, HI
United States
9 June 2003, 2400
"I should leave you two to rot in there," Philip Stryver said as he stood outside Firefly and Baroness' jail cell.
"Hey, it's not our fault that the Pelekai family had better help than we thought," Firefly protested.
"Better help than a toy robot, a four eyed alien inventor, and a one eyed effeminate 'expert' on planet Earth?" Stryver asked.
"Try one GI Joe and two other people," Baroness protested, "Maybe they were paramilitaries, after all Cobra Bubbles does have a CIA connection."
"Let's not forget a blue skinned alien with two mean right hooks," Firefly added, pointing at bruises on the side of his face.
"Alright, but I still wonder why I shouldn't leave the two of you here," Stryver replied, as he held up a sheaf of papers, "After all you two just compromised some rather delicate work."
"Let's not forget we have more successes than failures and leave it at that," Firefly countered.
"And we can provide some information on the Pelekai's new bodyguards," Baroness added.
"Fine," Stryver said, before gesturing to the guard and holding up the papers.
Pelekai Residence
Kokua Town, HI
United States
9 June 2003, 0132
Lindsay put her hand in front of her mouth as she yawned. She looked over at the Rhodesian across the table from her, noticing the wry grin.
"Didn't you just drink a sodding cup of espresso?" Henry replied.
"I am Italian, Henry," Lindsay smirked, "We live for good coffee and can still sleep with a stomach full of the stuff."
"A bit more accurately, you're an American of Sicilian descent," Henry replied.
"Just like you're a Rhodesian of British descent?" Lindsay quipped as reached for her mostly empty cup of espresso.
"Touche," Henry replied as he reached around his own laptop computer for his own cup, "And I must say you do make a lovely cup of espresso."
"Why thank you, Tresckow," Lindsay replied, "I did work as a barista in college."
Henry chuckled slightly before replying, "I'd have thought it was because you're Sicilian and making caffeinated beverages is in your blood."
"That was implied," Lindsay replied, as she went back to typing on her own laptop.
Henry glanced over as she took a break, reaching for the small radio on the table before turning it to the BBC. The news has her interest. Not surprising, she is a bloody intelligence officer.
"Former Russian Army General, Ivan Radek's, speech in Moscow's Red Square drew a vast crowd yesterday."
Henry noticed Lindsay writing something on a notepad she kept beside her laptop as the BBC announcer continued his report on Radek's speech. Same bloody posturing, same 'Don't Mess With the Rodina' tough guy rhetoric. But something's got Lindsay's attention.
"So why the interest in Radek?" Henry asked, after another few minutes had passed.
"Like I said, he'll start World War III if he is ever elected," Lindsay replied.
"He's way too right wing for the mainstream," Henry countered, "He's more background noise than anything else."
"I'll point out someone in the 1930s probably said the same thing about Adolf Hitler and he was elected into power."
"Right. But do we really think Russia wants another war? After all there was the debacle in Afghanistan, then both Chechen wars."
"I'll refer you to World War II. Remember Hitler thought the Russians were finished in 1941 only for them to steamroll across Europe from 1943 onward."
Certainly has a sharp eye for history. Henry thought. But then again I expect that of an intelligence officer.
"Yes, the Russians do have quite a talent for playing possum," Henry conceded, "However is there the political will in Russia for another war?"
"Democracy or any sort of representative governance is a new phenomenon for Russia," Lindsay said looking up from her writing, "And given Radek's charisma he could easily convince the Russian people that another war is necessary."
"I do see your point and…"
POW! POP! CRASH!
"JUMBAAAAAAA!" Pleakley's shrill wail shattered the early morning quiet.
With a tired sigh Lindsay said, "Think we should see what happened this time?"
"We might as well" Henry replied, as he stood up from his chair, "Given Jumba's experiments seem to have a rather disturbing trend of creating situations we wind up dragged into."
Lindsay and Henry headed to the living room in time to see Pleakley hanging from the ceiling with his head having crashed through the ceiling and through the floor of Nani's bedroom.
"Oops," Jumba said as he came down the stairs.
"What happened now?" Nani said as she and David headed into the living room from out back.
"Nuku naga, whahaha!" Stitch laughed as he pointed at Pleakley, before lying on his back and rocking back and forth as he did so.
"Oh, I'm so glad that tripping one of Jumba's booby traps amuses you people!" Pleakley said sourly.
"Oh bollocks," Lilo said, rubbing her eyes as she walked down the stairs.
"Lilo!" Nani admonished, "Where did you hear that!?"
"Henry said that at the mall when we were chasing Gnomekop and Turbo Troll," Lilo explained.
"Do you even know what bollocks are?" Nani exclaimed, waving her arms.
"What's bollocks?" Lilo asked, yawning again.
"Lilo!" Nani shouted, "You said it again!"
"But I don't even know what it means," Lilo replied, her small face scrunching up in confusion.
"It's a bad word and you shouldn't say it!" Nani snapped.
"Henry, you shouldn't say bad words," Lilo said as she turned and looked up to face the Rhodesian.
Lindsay chuckled slightly as Henry turned slightly red, "She has a point there."
"Wanker," Henry grumbled, smacking the open palm of his right hand onto his forehead.
"Henry!" Nani admonished, as Lilo tugged on the hem of her big sister's shorts.
"What's wanker?" Lilo asked, looking up at Nani.
"Another bad word you shouldn't say!" Nani snapped, arms outstretched in the air.
"Henry's profane expressions aside, what happened here?" Lindsay interjected.
"I might have forgotten to disarm one of my traps," Jumba said, scratching the underside of his chin.
"I can see that," Lindsay commented as she looked around the room.
"Will you forget about the stupid trap and just, oh I don't know...GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!" Pleakley shouted.
"Before we do that," Henry asked, "Jumba are there any other Home Alone inspired devices you've jury rigged around the house that you failed to disarm?"
"I got all the ones I made when I was awake," Jumba replied, "There might be a few that I made after I fell asleep watching the Home Alone movies…"
"So you probably sleep invented another insane contraption or two," Lindsay groaned, "At this rate we'll all have to be careful where we step."
"Alright, the first thing to sort out is how did this contraption work," Henry began as he pointed to a panel that had popped out of the wall with a giant coiled spring. At the end of the spring was a stuffed tiger filled with lead fishing weights.
He pointed to a section of the floor that had slid aside, "The impact of the lead filled plush toy sent Pleakley flying and then he landed on a section of the floor that had been deliberately weakened. And underneath that was what appears to be a large cylinder of compressed air that sent him flying into the ceiling."
"Okay, Henry, this trap was already sprung," Lindsay countered, "Doesn't do us much good."
"Well, actually it does, presuming Jumba's mindset while rigging this thing was similar to one where I would rig land mines when I was in the Rhodesian Army," Henry said with an enigmatic grin.
"Henry, I wonder if I'm the only one who finds the fact that you understand how Jumba was thinking…" Lindsay began.
"Or in this case NOT thinking!" Pleakley shouted, still half embedded in the ceiling.
"Quiet Pleakley!" Everyone shouted.
"You were saying, Lindsay?" Henry asked.
"I was saying that I wonder if I'm the only one who thinks your understanding of Jumba's thought process when emplacing this thing is disturbing," Lindsay replied.
"I was in the Rhodesian SAS, not the sodding Catering Corps," Henry quipped as walked to the hallway closet and pulled out a broom.
Henry stood off to one side of the wall panel, lightly prodding the wall and the floor with the broom stick.
"Right, everyone, stand back," Henry said as he felt a piece of the floor indent inward. Almost like a button.
He glanced around and when he was convinced everyone was out of the way he pushed the pressure switch all the way in.
POP! The sound of compressed air violently being released echoed through the room followed by a sinister sounding laugh track followed by the Ghostbusters theme song. Henry ducked as a ghost plush toy stuffed full of lead sinkers flew just above his head and into the living room wall, knocking a hole into it.
"Right, I think we can get Pleakley down from the ceiling now," Henry began.
"And can I sent ACME and the CIA a bill for all this?" Nani gestured at the damage.
"Heh, no problem. I can invent some small robotic cleaners and…" Jumba began, pulling a small notepad from his pocket and writing in it.
"JUMBA NO!" Everyone in the room shouted.
"But…" Jumba began.
"I think you've done enough damage for one day," Lindsay replied.
"Right," Henry said with a yawn, "Let's conclude the search for any more of Jumba's devices in the morning."
"Henry, technically it is morning right now," Lindsay said with a smirk followed by a yawn.
"Oh guys," Pleakley began, "Don't you think you could do one thing, like, I don't know...GET. ME. DOWN. FROM. HERE!"
Right about then RoboTarantula skittered up the wall to the ceiling before jabbing Pleakley with it's fangs and their built in tasers.
ZAP!
"Wocka! Wocka! Wocka!" RoboTarantula said before dragging Pleakley out of the ceiling and down the wall to the floor.
"Eh heh heh," Jumba said, "I don't think I've got all the bugs worked out of RoboTarantula just yet."
"Really, Jumba, I couldn't tell," Lindsay replied.
"Wocka. Wocka. Wocka." RoboTarantula said as it dragged Pleakley along the floor. Then it began spinning yet another electrified web that flattened Pleakley face down against the floorboards.
"Well at least that drama is sorted out," Henry quipped as RoboTarantula skittered off.
"Whahahaha!" Stitch laughed as he pointed at Pleakley.
"Henry, your definition of 'sorted out' is questionable," Lindsay sighed as she walked over to get the insulated pole to pull the web off of Pleakley.
"Or we could say bollocksed up," Pleakley grumbled as he regained consciousness.
"Pleakley!" Nani admonished.
"You shouldn't say bad words," Lilo interjected.
"Look," Henry said, stifling a yawn, "It's late or rather early. Let's sort this entire matter out in the morning."
"Agreed," Cobra Bubbles said.
TBC