Chapter 64: Phineas Carmichael & the Infinite Sadness

Reading this chapter again, I realized that while it certainly seems like an M rating, I've actually read stories that should have been for adults yet were in the young adult section of my library. So in my opinion, this chapter not worth giving the overall story a higher rating. But if enough people disagree, I will change it. (Unless you think I jumped the shark after this chapter... I don't know, that's what I'm feeling at the moment.)

Anyway, one more chapter after this and it's hiatus time. And thanks to all who wished me a good time at college! You really helped alleviate some of my anxiety. :D

P.S., Kevin's just a tiny bit out of character in the beginning. Then again, considering the position he's in, can you blame him?

It didn't take long for the others to jump down the rabbit hole.

"Oh GOD WE'RE FALLING!" Kevin screamed fearfully as the wind blew past him, the darkness stretching before his eyes. "THIS REALLY SUCKS!"

"Calm down," Sam said in a bored tone, petals and a stem flying from her hair. "You're acting like we don't risk our lives every other day."

"HOW ARE YOU SO CALM? WE'RE FREEFALLING TO OUR DEATHS!"

"NO WE'RE NOT!" Ben cried out as the five of them suddenly slowed down. They were still falling, but instead of the pitch darkness rushing at them at light speeds, they were more like leaves from trees falling to the ground. Ben had to make circular motions with his arms to achieve that, but it paid off.

Gwen was the only one still rushing headlong. She had been the first to jump, and she used her powers to somehow slow her descent. She was already nearing the end, her mana creating a pink light that showed the bottom.

…the bottom had spikes.

"So that's why we never use the garden entrance," Carter said, the realization dawning on her. Kevin gave a small whimper as the sharp, rusty spikes loomed at them. Suddenly a pink rectangle appeared under their feet. The five of them landed heavily in a large pile, their limbs tangling together. Gwen quickly made a slide connecting the rectangle to the underground tunnel so her friends could easily get out of harm's way.

"I never want to do that again," Kevin said as he shakily moved towards the slide.

"Really? That was kind of fun," Evan said honestly as he slid headfirst down to the floor.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Evan, the tunnel was too small for us to use our wings," Sam pointed out worriedly. "If it hadn't been for Gwen we probably would have died."

"…I find skydiving fun," Evan said lamely.

"Without a parachute?" Carter said as the rest of them slid down into the tunnel. Gwen forced back her powers and created a ball of light in her hand. The beam stretched out at least thirty feet into the tunnel. The rest was smothered in darkness.

"Well come on let's go," Evan said quickly leading the way. He put a hand of the left wall and pulsed once, keeping his eyes open. He could vaguely make out the stencil designs that made up the tunnels, thousands of them stretching underneath the town. He aimed his sight towards headquarters and pulsed again.

"We walk forward and make a left," he said walking towards the dark. The others quickly followed him, since no one wanted to be left alone underground.

"How many of these tunnels are under Bellwood?" Kevin asked curiously.

"Thousands, in the shape of a spider web." Carter added spooky side effects at the last part. Gwen visibly blanched.

"That's not including all the other tunnels in the rest of the world," Sam added.

"So there's really a tunnel to China?" Ben asked flippantly.

"Actually there's the underground bullet train for that," Evan told him. "Wait, are we adding the train tunnels?" he asked the other Pride members.

Kevin blinked. "Underground bullet train?"

"And now we turn left here," Evan said as he moved towards that part of the tunnel. Instead of another entrance, it was an elevator shaft that looked like it belonged in the early twentieth century.

"You've got elevators down here?" Gwen blurted out incredulously.

"Of course they do," Kevin muttered under his breath. Evan just pressed the button for it and waited. With a silent hiss the elevator came, easily gliding into position. With another hiss the doors opened, and everyone clamored in. It was already brightly lit inside, so Gwen turned off her mana light.

Somehow the elevator was big enough to hold them all and leave plenty of room. Another weird thing was that there were no buttons indicating where to go, only smooth silver walls.

"How are we supposed to get there?" Gwen huffed as the elevator doors slid shut.

"Well, last time Isaac tapped his cane on the floor and it moved there," Carter mused. Cupping her hands together she created ice, elongating and thickening it until it was a rough replica of Isaac's wizard cane.

"Everyone grab on tight," she ordered as she slammed the butt of the cane to the floor.

Instantly the elevator jerked sideways, forcing everyone to slam against the wall of the vehicle. Gwen searched for something to hold onto, but there was only smooth wall. They were going fast, too fast, nearly at the speed of light, they should have been squished to the side like bugs but they weren't and where was the sense in that?

The elevator jerked to a stop, shattering the ice staff and overall startling everyone. When the doors slid open they fell out onto the dirt floor in an awkward pile, groaning and with nausea creeping up their throats. It took a minute for them to disentangle their limbs and to get their bearings again.

"How do you guys do this all the time?" Ben asked his words slurred.

"We don't," Sam answered back, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose. "We rarely go down here."

"Then how do you know-oh god." Kevin stopped short and paled, pointing a finger down the hall. Gwen didn't have to use her mana to light the way; the spaced light bulbs gave everyone a chance to see the husks littering the floor.

They were dressed in the black uniform of the Slayers, outfits made from African spider silk and multicolored masks. Except the masks had been broken to pieces, revealing the eyeless holes and the outstretched, screaming mouths of the dead. The skin was mottled gray, the limbs skeletal and brittle.

Carter was the first one to approach the bodies. She grimly examined one of them, glowing hands hovering over them without having to touch them. In a tight voice she said, "They were drained of their life force."

"Is that even possible?" Gwen asked quietly, not quite looking at the husks.

"It is. Evan does it all the time."

They turned to Evan, who had walked with Sam towards another body. He forced out one of his Colt guns and opened the cartridge, revealing the green energy swirling inside. "Normal bullets can be traced back to the gun and to the owner, so instead I use my own life force as bullets. Naturally this can hurt me over a long period of time, so once I shoot a bad guy I recycle their life energy into ammunition." He gave them an easy-going smile.

They stared back at him. "So, you're like a vampire," Kevin said.

Evan willed his gun back into its charm form. "I prefer the term recycling."

"You do realize what you're doing is wrong, right?" Gwen asked cautiously.

Evan looked back at Carter and Sam puzzled. Sam shrugged and Carter raised an eyebrow, looking just as confused as he was. "It's arguably more humane than actual bullets," Evan said slowly, trying to piece together what exactly was wrong with the scenario.

Ben looked like he wanted to argue more, but then he just sighed and asked, "So what's with the corpses anyway?"

Carter immediately snapped to attention. "No idea. Whoever did this most likely needs energy, and lots of it." She waved a hand over the numerous husks leading into headquarters. "So I'm guessing Gwen and Sam's powers and your Omnitrix shouldn't be used."

"And we're instantly cut down to half. Great," Sam said sarcastically.

"Doesn't matter anyway," Evan said as he started to walk down the hall. "Even if you could use your powers, whoever did this eats life energy. All of us are targets."

"So basically we're all sitting ducks," Kevin muttered.

"Let's just go," Gwen snapped, following Evan. The rest followed suit, taking care to avoid the husks littering the floor. It felt wrong to label them as such-they had once been people with lives, after all- but there was no other way to describe them. It didn't help that more of these bodies were showing up in front of headquarters. The tension the young group of heroes was feeling only grew tenfold.

Evan was about to walk into headquarters when he suddenly stopped. He stood stock still, hands clenched as he shook his head. "Oh, no," he whispered. "Oh god, please no."

It didn't take long for the others to see what was wrong. What had once been a bustling room full of workers and operational supercomputers had become a bloodbath. While there were a few husks dotting the floor, most of the bodies had their throats slit, torsos riddled with bullet holes, bones breaking the skin and wrenched out in grotesque displays. And there had been at least fifteen corpses from wall to cavernous wall.

Despite the red liquid staining the ground, an epic battle had obviously been waged here. Stalactites had fallen from the ceiling and were pinned to the ground. Sediments of earth jutted from the floor, ragged columns that had been forced out of the ground and sharpened. Blood glistened from the tips, and vines and other plants were dripping with the stuff.

There were scorch marks too, from the very ceiling to the floor. There were impacts in the walls, from where the wind slammed the heavy object hard enough to leave dents. Shards of ice littered the floor, along with half-melted ice spires that erupted from earth and machine alike.

But that wasn't the worst of it. Oh no.

Because the horrified group of teenagers could see who truly lost the battle.

Raphael was hanging from the ceiling, a cable wrapped around his neck. He was swaying slightly, but there wasn't any wind to move him. Lucille was next to a supercomputer, wires and shards of metal jutting out of her abdomen. She was literally attached to the computer, blood congealing down her blue suit, her chin at her chest like she was about to fall asleep.

Isaac was nailed to a wall, arms and legs splayed out in the crucifix position. Whoever killed him had even put a stake through his heart. His head lolled to the side, eyes open and blank.

And Phineas was on the ground right in the middle, lying on his back in a pool of blood. His torso had been savagely torn open, revealing the ribs. His face stared up at the ceiling, his eyes open wide.

Someone was screaming, a high pitched wail sound that echoed through the cavern. Was it male, female? It didn't sound like it belonged to a person, or even one person. It was a medley of tears and emotions, the words jumbled together to create a rabble.

Someone was vomiting-Kevin-who could blame him? Gwen was crying-no one blamed her either. Ben stood there, stock still, mouth open to form words, but nothing came out. He only shook his head slightly, as if trying to disprove the scene before him. No one could blame him.

Only three of them were screaming, fingers tearing at their hair, tears streaming down their faces. It was a never ending wail of despair. Evan fell to his knees. Sam curled up into a little ball. Carter swayed at her feet.

Eventually they fell quiet.

Eventually it was deathly silent in the room.

Eventually there was a cough.

Phineas spluttered, blood coming out of his mouth. He jerked about, groaning in pain as he picked at his drenched shirt. And then he groaned in exasperation as he saw the wound on his chest.

He lay back down, annoyed. And then he saw the teenagers at the entrance. In a raspy voice, he said, "Normally I'd yell at you for being down here, but right now I need to sit up, preferably against the wall."

It took a while for them to react. Finally Ben yelled out, "PHINEAS!" and ran towards him, skidding to a stop and getting on his knees before his grandfather. It took a minute for the others to catch up.

"How are you still alive?" Kevin asked in a thick voice. His mouth still tasted like puke.

"Ben, do you know why I'm called an Immortal?" Phineas asked, his tone of voice similar to that of a teacher.

It took a while for him to answer. He had been staring at his grandfather with shiny eyes. Finally he said, "Because you have a really long lifespan."

Phineas hummed in approval. "Add to the fact that I'm the carrier for the Ventus gene, and I'm literally immortal. As in, I can't die," he added in case someone needed the explanation. "Now, would someone please get me to a wall? It'd be more comfortable for me to heal while I'm not marinating in my own bodily fluids."

Carter had two glowing hands out above his chest. "He's not kidding," she said quietly. "He should have died from this level of damage, but all the muscle tissue and skin is stitching itself back together at a rate faster than normal. I've never seen anything like it."

"The body will naturally heal itself in most cases, given enough time," Phineas explained hurriedly. "Isaac would give you a much more detailed explanation, but he's a bit tied up at the moment. Now, would you all please get me to a wall?"

Kevin and Evan immediately grabbed his arms and started to drag him from the pool of blood. Phineas grunted in pain, but gave no other hint of distress as the blood from his body streaked across the floor to the nearest patch of wall. It just so happened to be where Isaac was; Carter took an involuntary look at it before averting her gaze.

Situating himself until he was comfortable, Phineas got something out of his back pocket. It was a box of Marlboro cigarettes, squished and bent from the fighting. He got out a cigarette that wasn't completely flattened and said, "Sam."

The redhead kneeled down, her thumb and her pointer finger out so she could pinch and give life to the cancer stick. Instead, Phineas just swiped the end of it on her cheek, instantly lighting it. "Much faster," he said when she gave him an incredulous look.

"Won't smoking hurt the healing process?" Evan asked without thinking. Everyone avoided looking at the gaping hole in the older man's chest.

The cigarette dangling from his lips, Phineas gave him a long, hard stare before snapping, "Well, since I can't fucking die…" He trailed off when Evan averted his gaze shamefully.

Taking the cigarette out and blowing out some smoke, Phineas calmly said, "You kids shouldn't be here."

"Well, we're here now," Carter pointed out. "What's the situation?"

"Considering most of you can't help, I suppose telling you wouldn't totally hurt," Phineas said, rolling his eyes. "We have no idea what we're facing. It's a doppelganger, yet it's not. It's a vampire, yet it's not."

"That doesn't make any sense," Gwen protested, speaking up for the first time.

Phineas put the cigarette back in his mouth. "Neither does this alien." How he could talk with that thing in his mouth was a mystery. "Anyway, this…whatever showed up about thirty years ago, draining the energy from its victims. It first appeared in the electric plant and made its way to rest of headquarters. It took thirty lives before we could destroy it. And with it most of the underground. Not unlike now."

"It came back from the dead?" Ben asked skeptically.

"That's just it; we don't know," Phineas said. "So far the situation has been mostly identical: it showed up in the electric plant, sucked the life out of a few people, laid low while the rest of us tried to find it and spent its time finding victims and killing them via electrocution." He gave a shudder. "It used their own nervous systems' against them. That's a really bad way to go.

"Anyway, up until that point things were shaping up to be nearly identical. And then we found out the body count went past thirty. It's also gotten smarter; it's now able to split itself up. That's how it was able to take the four of us out."

"Is Cordelia still fighting that thing?" Carter gasped.

"Yeah, she went all Medusa on it." The cigarette was a third gone. "Honestly she's having a better time fighting it than the rest of us did. She has the advantage against that thing."

"Which is?" Gwen started.

"That thing thrives on energy. Electricity, mana, heat, you name it. The cold slows it down, eventually killing it. Cordelia is the carrier for the Aquaria gene, so she naturally has some ice abilities at her disposal. But that's not much of an advantage now."

"How so?" Kevin asked.

"Because every person it drains of energy adds to its collection of souls," Phineas continued stonily. "Every time you think you kill it, it comes back to life. And you can only kill one soul at a time, so until you kill every single soul it's eaten, it's just going to keep coming back."

"And this story's going to get worse, isn't it?" Sam said resigned.

Phineas nodded, grim. "Slayers have a tendency of having powers, or if not, martial arts skills. Every Slayer it drains of life energy gets the same powers and skills."

"No wonder you've been having trouble," Ben said in shocked awe.

"And it's no wonder we tried to keep you out of it," Phineas snapped. "The only one of you who has a chance of fighting it is Carter and she'll wear herself out before she kills it completely."

"I can turn into Big Chill, that should help," he said quickly.

"Don't bother. That thing's attracted to energy." Phineas nodded at the Omnitrix. "Your wristwatch is basically a feast to it. And you're mana won't help you either," he added to Gwen. "Hell, none of you can face it." He took a long drag of his cigarette and exhaled.

"Where's Cordelia?" Carter asked stoically.

Phineas nodded to the right. "Just follow the sounds of hissing and fighting. You'll find her soon enough."

She nodded and asked, "Can we leave you like this?"

Phineas gave a weak shrug. "If you want to defeat that thing, you have to."

"Try to heal quickly," she said. She then walked away, marching past the corpses and puddles of red. Ben frowned but followed her along with the others; they didn't want to stay in the room longer than they should. Phineas couldn't fault them for that.

Only Gwen stayed behind. "You really shouldn't be smoking you know," she said softly.

Phineas looked up at her and then smiled warmly. "I wasn't always a smoker, you know. Despite how history makes it sound, tobacco was always kind of taboo. King James-I forgot which one-didn't want the American colonies to be used for growing tobacco plants because he thought it was a bad habit. And it was always considered controversial for the guys in the gentlemen's clubs to smoke inside the buildings. It wasn't glorified until the 20th century. I didn't buy into it."

"So what made you start?" Gwen asked curiously.

"Well, I was dating Ben's grandmother, Diane, and one time she said that I'd look cool smoking. So on impulse I bought a pack and smoked on our next date. She said she was right." He smiled fondly. "And the rest is history, I guess."

Gwen gave a small smile. She put her hands behind her back and said, almost shyly, "You think we could still get a coffee after this?"

Phineas looked at her, surprised, before breaking out a bright smile. "I don't see why not."

She grinned before turning to look where her friends had gone. She turned back and said worriedly, "I can't just leave you like this."

"You can," Phineas stated. "I'll be fine in a few hours. Besides, someone's gotta get Raph down from the ceiling."

Gwen frowned at the poor taste in joke.

He rolled his eyes. "The faster you leave, the faster we can get that coffee." He gave a flippant wave of his free hand. She took a step back, hesitating, before the flippant waving grew harder. And then she turned on her heels and ran out of the cavern, leaving her grandfather to finish his cigarette.

Phineas hadn't been kidding; they could hear the screaming and hissing a mile away.

It didn't take them long to get there. The battle was being waged in another part of headquarters, most likely one of the debriefing rooms. It was hard to tell though; the metal desks had been upturned and used as weapons-quite a few of them had been crushed and or stuck into the wall like darts. Whatever machinery that was in the room was either forced out of its sockets or destroyed due to being used as a weapon or being caught in the crossfire.

But that wasn't what the others were focusing on. They had worse things to see.

The first thing they noticed was Cordelia-or Medusa in this case. Her skin was poisonous green and scaly, her fingers curved and nails black and sharpened into claws. Instead of legs she had the body of a serpent. Instead of her usual black suit and lab coat she only had on a bloody silver chest plate to cover her torso. Her teeth had been turned into snake-like fangs, her tongue forked. Her long silver hair had been turned into hundreds of snakes, all of them twisting and hissing at the foe Cordelia was fighting, though why her eyes were closed was a mystery. The only piece of hair not turned into reptiles was the bang covering the left half of her face, showing that while she was Medusa, she was still a Valentine.

After getting over that initial shock, the young group of heroes turned to the thing that had attempted to kill the Immortals and was trying to do in Cordelia.

…They had no idea what it was.

It looked like a red blob, with some gold highlights mixed in. It didn't have a mouth, or eyes, or nose, or even a face for that matter. It did growl and hiss and scream, but that was about it. The others didn't see what was so devastatingly powerful about it.

And then it hissed, split into three, and turned into humanoids. But the humanoids were wrong. They had eyes and noses and mouths and pretty faces, but its mouths looked like it had sewn on by a child, all stretched out and black. Instead of hands it had knives and guns attached at the wrist or in one case a mace. Its legs were bent at odd angles that shouldn't be bent. It was like a mannequin that had broken apart and brought back together by a deranged child.

The mace wielder tried to throw its weapon, but a snake flew out of Cordelia's hair and bit the humanoid on the neck. The humanoid immediately turned to stone. The snake then slithered down to the waist and ensnared the statue, snapping it right in half.

"I want it on record that Cordelia did not create the Medusa mythos," Carter suddenly whispered to the others. "She heard about it and started to transform into her, messing with the legend. The snakes turn you to stone, but if she opens her eyes they turn back to human."

"So it's a complete reversal," Gwen noted quietly. "Cool."

Cordelia suddenly screamed a war cry, ripping off the arm of one of the humanoids. She then whirled around as the last person tried to sneak up on her. She sunk her fangs into its neck and bite off its head. Blood spurted everywhere, soaking her already red chest plate and covered her hissing hair. Cordelia spat out the head, canines glistening and panting heavily.

And then the humanoids and their body parts turned into red-gold blobs and squished back together, forming the giant mesh from before. This time the next transformation was a pretty brunette with red lips. She also had blue eyes in real life, but right now the eyes were merely empty sockets. She opened her mouth, stretching it far beyond what was humanely possible. From inside popped out the head of a heavy artillery gun, and she let loose the bullets.

Snapping back into action Cordelia easily dodged the shots, using her serpent's tail to increase her speed. With that same tail she sliced off the head of the humanoid, going in from behind to do so. The thing quickly split in half from the neck down, one part of the body turning male, the other still female. The split parts quickly turned into fully formed puppets, the male suddenly grabbing Cordelia from behind, the female turning her fingers into claws and tearing out Cordelia's throat.

That was when a heavily armored Kevin rushed in, guns figuratively blazing. With a squawk Ben ran after him, quickly followed by Evan and Carter. Gwen would have rushed in, but Sam held her back.

"What are you-?"

"We both use energy remember?" Sam hissed. "And that thing feeds on energy. We're useless right now."

Gwen turned to the fight, alarmed. "But Ben's over there."

Sam's eyes widened. "Oh fuck."

Kevin had tried to tear the female away from Cordelia, and actually succeeded in doing so. Unfortunately, taking the claws from the older woman's throat had managed to further damage it. Defeated, Cordelia sunk to the floor, the snakes writhing in her hair making pathetic whimpering noises, her serpent's tail slowly transforming back into a pair of legs.

Carter went to help her, shouting out her grandmother's name worriedly, but she was quickly taken out by a flying Evan. He had tried to take on the male humanoid, and had actually gotten in a punch in or two, but he had been quickly tossed aside, thus landing on Carter. Kevin was then thrown aside as well by the female.

That left Ben. Ashen faced, he had tried to drag Cordelia away from the battle, trailing blood on the floor. He stopped, frozen, as the two copies stared at him. The male was sniffing the air, taking a few steps towards him. He gave a confused grunt and looked at the female. She stared at Ben, cocking her head to one side and growling.

Ben was like a deer caught in headlights. He was still holding Cordelia by the arms, her legs fully formed but covered in green scales and black shorts. She was gurgling something, her eyes now open. She attempted to look up at Ben-she was accidentally revealing the pink muscle of her throat- her mouth moving.

Finally, she rasped out, "Run!"

Wide-eyed and scared, Ben looked down at Cordelia. He saw the frightened look on her face- which was impossible since Cordelia never showed fear- and gently put her head down on the ground. He then looked up at the humanoids, who were still eyeing him, and slowly moved back to join his friends.

The three who had run out to save the day were all standing again. Carter quickly took a look at Cordelia. Everything in her screamed to go and heal her grandmother, but right now the two monsters in front of her took precedence. Besides, Cordelia was immortal; she would heal herself given enough time. Carter quickly fixed a glare at the humanoids.

"You know, I'm not someone who's normally quick to anger," she said almost pleasantly. "But you just attempted to kill a lot of people close to me. And you damn near succeeded. And that's why I'm going to make your final death be as slow and as painful as possible. And by the end you'll be screaming for mercy," she added with so much venom that her friends took an involuntary step back.

The humanoids let that sink in. They looked at each other, then at her, and simultaneously rolled their dead eyes.

And then the female launched herself at Kevin, tearing at his armor. Evan went to pry her off him, while Carter dealt with the male. She was screaming like a madwoman, ice claws on her fingertips and tearing his skin to ribbons. Ben quickly went in to help Evan, quickly disorientating the female with a well-placed kick to the head. Evan then threw her to the side before going after her and breaking her neck.

Kevin groaned and put a hand over her exposed chest, the metal plating torn off like wet tissue paper. Ben quickly helped him up.

"You need to get out of here," Kevin muttered.

"So do the rest of us," Ben shot back.

"Dude, seriously." The older teen spared a glance at the exposed Omnitrix. "You need to go. Now."

Suddenly there was a cry. The male had been dealt with-Carter had torn out his heart- and now she was growling as the humanoids turned back into blobs and merged back together.

"How many lives does this thing still have?" Evan asked exasperatedly.

An arm with a bracelet and a jean-covered leg jutted out of the blob, along with a faceless head. It was quickly forming into another person. The arm suddenly plunged back into the goop and drew a gun. It was aiming at the group, the face quickly forming dead brown eyes to see through.

It surveyed the young group before settling on Kevin. He looked down and made a noise from deep within his throat. He had forgotten about the giant hole in his armor. The split second look at his friends' shocked faces told the same story.

He put a hand over his chest, attempting to fix it.

Two shots rang through the air.

I can already feel your hate. I wonder if George R. R. Martin ever feels this way.

As for the tobacco facts, I got them from a friend who's a total history buff. I'm not totally sure if they're accurate- I wrote down the book titles, but I lost the list- but it would be pretty awesome if it was.

So, thoughts anyone?