Chapter 42: Pool Parties and Lederhosen
I haven't actually been to Germany, but I have heard people speaking in German, and I think Raksha's accent is German. Of course, if I'm wrong, please tell me so I can fix it.
Anyway, on with the chapter!
It was unthinkable.
It was insanity.
It was completely and utterly unbelievable.
Kimiko blinked, dumbfounded. "You-You're giving us a day off?"
Master Fung raised an eyebrow. "Well, it is an unusually warm day today. Training in this weather would be harmful to your health. What, is it so hard to believe that I am not occasionally lenient with my students?"
"Yes," the five students said together.
"I wonder if the apocalypse is going to happen again," Valerie mused, putting a finger to her chin. Everyone stared at her for a moment.
"Perhaps you should go enjoy your day off?" Master Fung proposed.
No one had to be told twice. Once inside her room, Valerie picked out a few books and an umbrella and made to change. She had picked out her t-shirt for the day when she heard a knock on her door. She was wearing a bikini of all things, the bottom and top a robin's egg blue color with a pink trim and straps. A matching swim cap was over her head, her hair curling around her face in a flapper-like bob cut. She quickly took off her pink sunglasses and looked at her.
"Are we going to the beach?" Valerie had to ask.
"Nope," Kimiko drawled out.
"Then why…?" Valerie paused. "Shen Gong Wu."
"Yep." Kimiko popped the 'p' at the end.
"Did Master Fung approve of that?"
"What he doesn't know won't hurt him."
Valerie stared at her flatly before beaming.
A few minutes later
Valerie walked out into the searing sun, feeling the hot, humid air coil around her like a snake, sweat beading down her temple. She could understand why the gang decided swim wear would be the best choice; having on as little clothing as possible was a brilliant idea for such a hot day. She quickly opened her blue umbrella to give herself some shade.
"Woo!" Raimundo called out as he walked outside, a red soccer ball tucked under one arm and clad in green swim trunks. "Can you believe the man broke down and gave us a day off?"
Omi, who had on purple trunks, a blue dinosaur floaty around his waist, and water wings, looked confused. "No," he answered him. "It is so very unlike Master Fung. Especially when we have so much to learn!" Raimundo, who had been spinning the soccer ball on one finger, gave him an exasperated look.
Clay, clad in blue swim trunks and his cowboy hat, held up his hands. "Easy there, partner. You gotta learn to chill."
Omi blinked.
"Uh, kick back."
Omi just shrugged his shoulders at that one.
Valerie just rolled her eyes and set up her umbrella. Luckily she was able to plant it in the ground, though she would have to clean the handle later. She then set down her books and stretched, her fishtail braid hanging over one shoulder. She had only brought one swimsuit with her to the Temple, a violet backless one piece that was perfect for swimming with a matching towel that Valerie had tied at her waist. She quickly untied it and set it down under her umbrella and mentally patted herself on the back for her smart idea.
As everyone else set their places, Kimiko said, I'll get the barbie going!" She then leaped over to the barbecue, holding up a talisman. "Eye of Dashi!" Lightning hit the nearest cloud, which somehow generated more lightning inside it. The barbecue was struck by electricity, and once the fire was going, meat patties were tossed onto it.
"Fist of Tebigong!" Clay punched the ground, creating a fairly deep crater in the middle of the garden. Omi then got out his Wu: "Orb of Tornami!" and the crater steadily filled with water, becoming a pool.
Once that was finished, Valerie shucked off her sandals and dove into the water. It was brisk, but compared to the blistering hot day, it felt like heaven. She kicked her legs dolphin style and made her way across the pool, eyes open in the crystal clear water, only popping back up for air once she reached the edge.
Sighing blissfully, Valerie fell on her back and slowly drifted towards the center. Out of the corner of her eye, she could make out Kimiko sitting on a lawn chair, umbrella overhead, reading a magazine and sipping a tropical drink. Raimundo was splashing water into Omi's face, yelling, "Surf's up!" as Omi protested.
And then Clay shouted, "Cannon ball!" and Valerie was immediately dunked with cold water. She sank somewhat before flipping and kicking her way back towards the surface. Once her face hit air she spat out water into poor Omi's face. Clay was right next to them, blond hair slicked over his eyes, his cowboy hat soaked and wrinkled.
"Hey, who wants to catch a few waves?" Everyone turned to see Raimundo out of the pool, pink surfboard in hand. They all stayed completely still in the flat water.
"I'm afraid to ask, but how are we going to have waves?" Valerie said.
"Sword of the Storm!"
"You and your big mouth," Clay muttered as a large gust of air blew past them. Valerie could feel the water literally lift her up as a tidal wave suddenly appeared in the pool.
"Hey dudes, look! I'm hanging ten!" Raimundo cried out happily as he rode the top of the whitecap.
"And we're hanging on for dear life!" Valerie shouted back as she and the other boys were caught in the wave. Kimiko, who was in the wave's path, lifted up her sunglasses. Her eyes widened comically as the water crashed over her.
Valerie was pretty sure her face collided with a tree, because she could something smack her and knock her out for a few moments. When she finally came to, she was on the grass, everyone's beach gear knocked over, everyone else spread out over the drenched garden. Everyone except Omi, who, by the nature of his dinosaur floaty, was stuck hanging from a tree branch.
Dojo chose that moment to slither over, Ancient Scroll in hand. "Hey, gang, got a live one incoming!"
Valerie groaned and slowly stood up. On shaky legs she made her way over, at one point gripping onto the remains of Rai's surfboard to get her balance back. The poor board had been split in half; Valerie doubted there was any way to fix it.
Peering at the moving picture on the scroll, Dojo continued. "It's the Shen Gong Wu called the Lunar Locket. Whoever possesses it can control the phases of the moon." Valerie watched absentmindedly as the stick figure played around with a half-moon, having it go up and down in the sky.
"There's no time to lose!" Dojo pointed out as the five of them just stared, annoyed that their day off had be cancelled. And then the reptile started sniffing around. "Say, is that a double garlic bratwurst I smell grilling?" He slithered over to the barbecue, where the food was still sizzling despite the catastrophic tidal wave earlier. "There's no reason to go after a Shen Gong Wu on an empty stomach."
As Dojo hovered over the sausages, Omi slammed the lid on the grill and quickly shut it off. "There is too much at stake, Dojo!" He crossed his arms. "I'm afraid this cannot wait."
Dojo whimpered. "Tell that to my stomach! He so hates to be teased." The resulting loud growl was evidence to that.
In the Swiss Alps
"It's been a while since I've been here," Valerie noted as she spied the resort nestled in between the snowy mountains. "I wonder if we can snowboard later."
"Are you any good?" Clay asked curiously. She made a 'so-so' gesture.
"If you want, I could teach you surfing," Raimundo offered. "Surfing and snowboarding are pretty similar, you know."
Mouth quirked into a smile despite herself, Valerie raised an eyebrow. "And how will we do that with a broken surfboard?"
He blinked. "My surfboard's broken?"
Kimiko looked at him, concerned. "Rai, it was broken in half."
"Brutally so," Clay added.
"How did you not see it earlier?" Valerie asked.
Raimundo didn't respond. His tanned face had turned a sickly pale color.
Thankfully, Dojo was able to spot the Shen Gong Wu. Flying in between ski lifts-how did no one ever notice the flying dragon?- he was able to pinpoint the location.
Just as Kimiko pointed it out, a robot wearing a white button-up shirt and gray slacks appeared, brown hair in a crew-cut and a Jack Spicer-inspired mascara line halfway down his cheek. Flying towards the Locket, it paused and took a moment to truly spot it. And then it went after it, spewing flames from its feet.
Twin braids floating in the air, Kimiko pointed to the robot. "That bot's gonna get there first!"
"Not if I can help it!" Clay ran across Dojo's back and jumped off his giant green nose. "SEISMIC KICK: EARTH!" He landed feet first on the mountain, and the ground rippled underneath him, the snow creating waves. And then the snow shifted rapidly, sliding down the mountain in a quick avalanche. The Lunar Locket quickly escaped from its spot just as the robot made a grab for it.
The Locket slid down the mountain in the landslide and practically leaped into Clay's outstretched hand. He held it up triumphantly, but then he frowned as the robot said, "Just because we're mortal enemies doesn't mean we can't be friends." The robot even hugged himself for emphasis.
…And then a red laser shot out of one eye and completely separated the mountain in two, creating a small abyss. The ground Clay was standing on shifted backwards, the very earth quaking tremendously. And then Clay lost his balance and slid down the mountain, screaming, as the Lunar Locket was left hovering in the air.
Clay slid past the other monks as the friendly robot turned its hand into a magnet. The Lunar Locket, made of metal, was immediately attracted to it. It cut through the frigid air to get to it.
"TYPHOOM BOOM: WIND!" Raimundo sent a twister from his hands at the Locket, somehow distorting its path into a U-shape. Instead of heading towards the magnet, it flew right towards him. Smirking, Raimundo held out a hand to capture the Wu…
…Only to have the Locket stop in midair. Using super speed, the friendly robot had grabbed onto one of its golden beads. The Locket sagged and swung from its hand.
"What do you say afterwards we throw around the ol' pigskin?" The robot threw a football-shaped snowball at Raimundo. He kicked it into snowfall.
"Sorry, I don't play ball with machines," he taunted before leaping into the air.
"Was it something I said?" the robot asked sadly.
Raimundo aimed a punch, only for the robot to grab it and toss Rai over his shoulder with ease. And then, still clutching his arm, the robot threw him away. He screamed as he flew past the other monks.
Kimiko ran up to the robot, shouting, "Judolette Flip: Fire!" She then aimed a blazing flip kick at its head, sending him sliding backwards into a snowbank. The Lunar Locket was sent skittering towards the mountain edge.
"Can't stand the heat, then get off the mountain, Tin Man!" Kimiko taunted, posing sassily.
"Mountains are known for their high altitudes and cold temperatures," Valerie said flatly. "What you just said didn't make any sense."
"Not all of them!" Kimiko shot back childishly.
And then a massive boulder of snow was suddenly lifted into the air, flames shooting out of the bottom. The friendly robot looked down at Kimiko just before throwing the boulder at her. It landed on her painfully, and suddenly she became a part of it. Screaming, she was sent rolling down the mountain, her pigtails spinning like a top.
The friendly robot then landed near Omi and Valerie. "Perhaps we can add each other to our buddy lists!"
"Distract him, I'll get the Locket!" Valerie then ran towards the mountain's newest crevice, leaving Omi to deal with the robot.
As Omi used snow to replace his normal water attacks-which looked cool aesthetically- Valerie ran towards the edge, eventually just sliding on both feet towards it once the ground was slippery enough. She was getting dangerously close to the edge-she was going fast, fast, faster-
Valerie skidded to a stop just before the edge, grabbing the Locket in one gloved hand. "Yes!" she cried out triumphantly, holding the talisman in the air.
And then a metal hand grabbed her wrist, pulling her off the ground and into the sky. It was from Jack Spicer's newest evil machine, and reminded Val of those crane games that were designed to steal all your money.
"Let go!" Jack Spicer yelled at her from within his hawk-like hovercraft.
"You let go!" Valerie shot back. Her feet were dangling through the air; she braved a look downwards to see the bottom of the crevice, seeing the pointy rocks and bottomless blackness of the pit.
Valerie would be the first to admit that she liked skydiving. It was fun and exhilarating and made her heart race like nothing else. Except that she preferred it if she had a parachute or a dragon to slow her fall.
"Okay, you know what? Fuck this." Valerie let go of the Locket and jumped backwards toward the cliff. Her feet hit the ground, and she let out a sigh of relief which soon became a strangled gasp as the earth gave out from under her. Her feet slid down the mountain, and she began to fall-
"Gotcha!" Raimundo quickly wrapped his arms around her chest and hoisted her up, the two of them tumbling back into the snow together. Valerie coughed, desperate for air and for her heart to stop trying to break out of her chest. Maybe she should rethink this whole 'adrenaline junkie' thing she used to like referring herself as.
"You okay?" Clay quickly asked her as Jack Spicer examined his newest Wu. She nodded, blowing some air out of her mouth.
"Let's go, Dude-bot!" Jack suddenly announced through his speakers. "We got what we came for!"
The friendly robot, who had been crying in the crater Omi sent him into, turned around. The Heart of Jong in hand, Dude-bot threw it, declaring, "I don't like feeling human!"
Jack and Wuya screamed as the Heart of Jong flew over the heads of the Xiaolin warriors. Omi made to catch it, but he was too short and the Heart was thrown too far. It fell into the crevice, tumbling down the cliff side, its glow rapidly fading.
Dude-bot collapsed, and Valerie just had to say, "Did a robot just commit suicide? How did this get past the sensors?!"
Raimundo shrugged. "I stopped questioning these things a long time ago."
"Also, are you ever going to let me go?"
He blinked and looked down to see that he still had Valerie in a death grip, his hands in places where they shouldn't be. "Oh shit sorry!" he yelped as he pushed himself away. Valerie stood up and dusted off the snow that was clinging to her military jacket.
"So, are we going after the Heart of Jong or what?" she asked as Jack Spicer and his robot crew flew away. Knowing the evil boy genius, he was probably afraid of the dark or something, which meant he wasn't going to look for the Heart anytime soon.
Omi nodded. "There must be another way inside."
Later, at the Temple
"Except that there wasn't," Valerie huffed as she sat down. The five of them were in one of the training rooms, exhausted after a day of searching. The Heart of Jong had been nowhere to be found, which put a damper on things.
"Sometimes, we must lose to win," Omi said sagely.
"Oh, don't go all Master Fung on us Omi," Raimundo snapped at him. "Last thing we need right now is another lesson."
"It appears to me that you do," Master Fung said from the darkened hallway. (Seriously, why did he like appearing out of the dark? Was it supposed to make him seem mysterious?) "You must leave the land of despair and follow the road that will lead you to the lost Shen Gong Wu."
"Hm. At least that one was kind of short," Kimiko noted cheerfully.
"Master Fung is right," Omi told them. "We must strike when Spicer is most vulnerable!"
"Well that would be any time!" Raimundo pointed out, grinning.
Inside the Spicer mansion
It didn't take long to suit up and leave. Hurriedly dressing in olive green jean shorts and a maroon tank top with her hair in a side braid, Valerie was all set to kick ass on a muggy night. Kimiko had to take it one step further with a purple sleeveless dress and a black crop top with a cartoon sun graphic over it, orange leggings and black fingerless gloves, her hair set in pigtails while the rest of it fell straight down to her shoulders.
Running across the lawn-where there were no guard bots hovering around- they made their way to Spicer's lair. A large hole had been made where the garage door should have been. The lab had been completely trashed, as if a giant had decided to run around and punch everything in sight in a mindless tantrum.
"Whoa, something weird happened here," Kimiko thought out loud. Valerie peered at the wreckage and noted small puddles of half-melted snow dotting the ground.
A monkey shriek resonated through the lair, and everyone got into position. Monkey Jack Spicer leaped at them from the darkness, screeching, baring his teeth and pounding the ground. And then, to their surprise, he started to jump up and down, and then landed on the floor, shrieking even more loudly.
"Umm…." Valerie said, utterly confused.
"Easy there, monkey boy." Clay put a hand on Jack's head, lifting him up with ease. "What's going on here?"
Jack extended his tail to put down the Monkey Staff, and he instantly reverted to human. As Clay dropped him, Jack gave them all a thankful smile. "Hi, guys. Man, am I ever glad to see you." He made to hug Clay, who pushed him away with a hand to the face.
"Did we just walk into some parallel universe?" Kimiko asked rhetorically.
"I don't want to fight you guys," Jack told them. "I just used to Monkey Staff to escape the evil snowman."
"Evil snowman," Valerie parroted back flatly.
"Oh, I like snowmen!" Omi said happily. "Does he have a carrot for a nose?"
"No," Jack said sadly. "But he does have the Heart of Jong." He shrieked as Kimiko roughly pushed him away from them, popping the delusion Omi was having about the cute snowman. "He destroyed all my robots-"Jack held up a metallic head- "and then he left with Wuya."
"We must track down this most evil of snowmen," Omi declared as they all turned to leave.
"Please, take me with you!" Jack pleaded, hugging his robot head to his chest in a pitiful manner. "I'm all alone! I have no robots. I'm weak and… helpless." His lip quivered and his eyes were shining with tears.
Valerie gave him a contemptuous look as she and the others turned to leave. Everyone except Omi, who begrudgingly said, "We are Xiaolin Warriors. We must protect the weak, even if it is Jack Spicer." He said the name with as much venom as possible.
The rest of them face palmed. "I hate you so much right now," Valerie growled.
"That means yes, doesn't it?" Jack threw away the robot head and jumped into the air. "YIPPEE!" And then he gave Omi the biggest bear hug.
"I am feeling most uncomfortable," the little monk said, narrowing his eyes. He pushed Jack away. "Please be only touching me if you are kicking or chopping." He then proceeded to knock Spicer to the ground with a well-placed kick to the head. Valerie may have enjoyed that a little too much.
Morning, back at the Temple
Dressed in their Xiaolin robes, the five monks walked towards one of the buildings, Jack Spicer trailing behind them. As they walked through the doorway, Clay stopped the evil genius with a hand and an exhausted, "Wait here 'till we figure out where you're gonna bunk."
Yawning, Valerie joined the others in the search for Master Fung. Or she would have, had it not been for the obnoxiously loud yodeling coming from outside.
Yep. That was a new one.
"GIVE RAKSHA SHEN GONG WU!" the heavily accented voice said in loud, booming voice. Valerie would have pegged the accent as German.
She knocked Jack Spicer to the ground in her haste to get outside. The intruder was an incredibly large snowman, unfortunately not the Frosty variety. Instead of a friendly smile and a jovial manner, this snowman was scowling through fanged teeth, its coal black eyes dark and furious. It was wearing lederhosen, its snowy torso acting as the white shirt, and had a steel bucket for a hat. The Heart of Jong glowed through its chest.
"We got some serious ice to crush!" Raimundo declared as he glared at Raksha.
"Don't let it get near the Vault!" Kimiko warned the others as they made their way towards the courtyard.
"Please not the face or hair!" Jack Spicer cried as he cowered. The other five just jumped into action. They all leaped into the air and made a kick towards the monster, but Raksha's chest created a block of snow over the Heart of Jong. It sent them reeling back after they impacted into the shield, and they all fell to the ground in a heap.
"That's some hard packed snow," Valerie grunted as she picked herself up. And then the snowman started to yodel, and Valerie ran back towards the Temple with the others, hoping to think up some sort of plan.
"TYPHOOM BOOM: WIND!" Raimundo clapped his hands together and sent an incredibly strong gust of wind at the monster. Instead of hitting it, Raksha closed its eyes and let the breeze wash over it. And then it blew a frigid gust of air from its mouth, freezing Rai in ice as he tried to run away.
As Raksha stepped over him, Kimiko sprang into action. "JUDOLETTE FLIP: FIRE!" Spinning in midair, she turned herself into a ball of flame and threw herself into the snow monster. It should have worked-science said so- but Raksha just held up a hand and caught the ball. Its hand somewhat melted, it opened its palm to reveal Kimiko trapped inside a giant ice cube, curled into a ball and shivering from the cold.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Valerie shrieked. "That fire attack should have worked! Kimiko should have burnt it to death by now! What gives?"
"Heart of Jong," Omi pointed out. "Magic."
"…I want to find whoever created magic and punch him in the face."
Clay sent a lasso at the monster, wrapping the rope around its neck and pulling. The neck popped off its shoulders before reconnecting with the rest of its body. The returning lasso ensnared Clay as he stood there, shocked. "Well, I'll be hog tied." And then he fell over.
"Oh, I am so done with this," Valerie snapped. "EMPYREAN DRIVE: AETHER!" Purple energy fizzled in her hands, and, screaming in frustration, sent a large blast straight into the chest of the monster. It should have shot clean through towards the Heart of Jong, knocking the talisman right out the back, but no, of course that didn't work.
"Leopard attack!" Flailing his arms in circular motions, Omi ran across the monster's body, separating arms from shoulders. Standing in between the two giant limbs, he declared, "You are, as they say, disarmed! HAHA!"
And then the monster grew six new arms to replace his old ones.
Valerie lifted a leg, and, along with the others, quickly stepped aside just as all six fists collided with the ground.
"Raksha!" Wuya's voice floated downward. "Get the Shen Gong Wu!" The five monks ran away from the snow monster, its feet nearly stepping on them in its pursuit of magical artifacts. They all ran inside the Vault, bracing for Raksha. Instead, a huge shadow fell across them from the skylight. The snow monster was waving at them.
Omi pointed dramatically. "Prepare yourself for defeat!" Raksha lifted the skylight out of the ceiling. "You shall not pass-what?" Omi stopped and blinked as Raksha suddenly became an enormous pile of snow.
"I think we should run-!" Valerie's voice was cut off as the snow suddenly fell on her and the others, blanketing them in cold whiteness. There was no sound except for a deafening FLUMP, and even then it was cut off as snow packed around Valerie's ears. She slowly lifted her head out of the pile, annoyance written all over her face.
Another obnoxious yodel, and the snow separated and fused together to recreate Raksha. The monster smiled jovially at them.
"THORN OF THUNDERBOLT!" Valerie shouted, sending a lightning blast at Raksha's head. Its head blew apart, but since the Heart of Jong was still in place, the head was quickly recreated.
"Sword of the Storm!" Raimundo sent a whirlwind just above Raksha's head.
"Star Hanabi: Fire!" Flames was added to the wind, enveloping the snow monster in rings of flames. Raksha screamed in pain as it rapidly melted. Wuya screamed in horror as the snowman rapidly melted into a small lake.
"Fist of Tebigong!" Clay shouted, punching a hole in the ground. The freezing water sunk into the crevice, the Heart of Jong swimming in the current. Clay made to catch it with his gloved hand, only to miss. Kimiko then tried to grab it herself, only to have the Wu fall into the crack full of water. They all face palmed; well, except Clay, who accidentally punched himself in the face with the Fist.
And then they heard yodeling, and Kimiko opened the Vault. They ran down the steps to see Jack Spicer backing away from Raksha, who was so large only his head and arm could reach for the Wu.
And then Valerie noticed the stolen artifacts in Jack's arms. "Seriously, Spicer?" she muttered under her breath.
"Help me," Jack whimpered as he continued to back away up the steps.
"You have made your bed, Spicer," Omi scolded. "Now you have to eat it!"
"I was only luring this walking ice sculpture into a trap," Jack told them, his voice getting higher. Omi walked up to Raksha, and the two of them turned to glare at the evil boy genius.
"In our vault?" Omi asked as he dodged Raksha's hand.
"You can thank me later," Spicer said as they all backed away from the snow monster.
"How can we stop that guy if he changes from ice to water so fast?" Kimiko asked, balling her hands into fists.
"It is most impressive," Omi agreed. "I too wish to learn how to shapeshift." He then dodged Raksha's hand once again. They all ran up the stairs and out of the Vault just as the monster lifted himself into the room. "Just not today!" Omi added in a whimper.
"Prepare to battle!" the little monk declared once the five monks were grouped together.
"Tunnel Armadillo!" Jack shouted, the little Wu becoming large. He hopped into the drill and quickly used it to tunnel his way out of the Temple, leaving behind rubble and an enormous cloud of dust.
"Jack Spicer!" Omi cried in a panic. "He has our Shen Gong Wu!"
At that declaration, Raksha made its way over to the gaping hole in the ground, completely ignoring the young Dragons-in-training. It rapidly melted itself so the giant could flow into the tunnel and quickly follow the boy genius. There was a beat of silence, and then…
"Wait!" the purple, ghostly body of Wuya phased out of the Vault and flew down the tunnel in a desperate search for the snowman.
And then, once everything finally settled down, the five monks growled in frustration. Valerie fell on the ground and onto her back, completely and utterly fed up with today.
And then, a thought struck her.
"Wait, if Raksha goes after Jack, doesn't that mean he gets the Lunar Locket?"
A moment of silence, and then they all said:
"SHIT!"
This chapter more or less wrote itself, and therefore Valerie is more frustrated than she normally is. Still, I think this is a marked improvement over how she used to be. Before, she was kind of detached from her friends and her emotions. Now, not so much. Hooray, character development!
So, thoughts anyone?