Author Notes: You guys...thank you so much for the amazing response, once more. It seems many of you are enjoying this story and I am so glad to hear that. I don't usually write fluffier chapter fics. I don't know if I ever have? My default mode is angst and I struggle to come up with ideas for something on the fluffier end of the spectrum. I know there's a bit of drama, but I don't think you can really get a fic without any. I really appreciate the response and I hope you continue to enjoy it. I seem to be flying through this faster than anticipated...
Jane gripped the coffee mug in both hands. It was early. Maura was still asleep, or so she assumed. When she let herself in first thing, the lights were off and there was no sign of Maura. She made herself a mug of coffee and proceeded to stare into it. A couple of dark brown specks floated on top. She stirred it again, until they dissolved into the hot liquid.
"How long have you been here?" Maura asked, rubbing her eyes. She entered the kitchen and switched on the coffee machine.
She checked her watch. "About an hour."
"I'm going to shower," Maura said. Pulling her gown tighter around her middle, she left Jane alone again.
Mornings were easy. Jane usually woke up before her alarm, unless she'd had a late night. That morning she showered quickly and hopped straight into the car. Maura was nearly always awake when she arrived. Most mornings they would sit and have breakfast together before work. Maura would bore her with the latest medical journal she'd been reading, and Jane would bore her in return with the latest Red Sox statistics.
A baby would change everything.
"Eggs?" Maura asked. She reentering the room fully clothed, with a towel round her hair.
"Please."
Jane liked her life just the way it was. She liked her independence, and her ability to work all the hours under the sun. She didn't really take many vacations, and even if they forced her to, she'd probably hang around Fenway Park or the Dirty Robber. She was a creature of habit and the thought of that changing scared her.
But it also excited her.
"Would you like to come with me to meet with my lawyer?"
"Maura," Jane said, rolling her eyes.
"You don't have to," she said, taking a box of eggs out of the refrigerator. "But I will be going this afternoon at two thirty. It's important that we sign a contract before we attempt to conceive."
Years ago when Jane suffered the miscarriage, it reminded her just how much she wanted something more in her life. She talked shit about marriage and babies like none of it really mattered. But deep down it did. Her mother brought her up to expect to raise a family. Somewhere deep inside she knew she wanted it.
"It might not be easy," Jane said. Despite poo-pooing much of Maura's research, she had done some of her own. It was harder to have a child later in life, that was a fact. The risk of said child having a chromosomal abnormality was higher, and she didn't know how she felt about it.
Maura cracked open an egg into the frying pan. "There are a couple of options we can try."
"It's not the same, though, is it?"
"The same as what?"
"Having sex."
"A lot of couples who struggle to conceive have to use other options."
Jane sighed. "Don't you want to do it the way you always thought you would?"
Maybe it was the lack of decent men in her life that made it all the harder. One day she'd given up hope. One day she decided that her career was more important than anything a man could offer her. So she put her heart and soul into working, into saving lives, and what did she have to show for it? A couple of awards and a badge that shined when she polished it.
Maura stirred the eggs in the pan until they scrambled slowly. "I thought we'd discussed this. It was your idea to co-parent. Do you want to change your mind?"
"No," Jane said. She stood up and poured herself a fresh coffee from the machine. Chromosomal abnormalities or not, Jane wanted a child as much as Maura did. "I just don't want to take it away from you."
"You're not." Maura took two plates from the cupboard. "I want to do this with you, Jane."
"Have you had enough time to think about it?"
"Of course I have," she said, emptying the pan onto the plates. "I've done the research. I know the statistics around conception post forty and I know the risks. We know each other better than some married couples; we have differing expertise that we can bring to our child's life. I can't think of anyone better to raise a child with."
"If you're sure."
"I am."
Hearing Maura talk about her regrets reminded her only of her own mortality. Her body clock didn't scream the way Maura's apparently had been doing. Maybe that was why she didn't care to carry the child herself. If the question came up, she wouldn't be against it, but it didn't drive her.
Maura placed the eggs on the counter and Jane picked up a fork. "Thanks, Maur, they're great."
Maura was her family, and sharing a child made sense in too many ways. No romantic partner had ever known her the way Maura did. They loved each others' flaws like they were their own. They were in it for the long haul.
x
"I need that tissue sample," Jane said, pacing in and out of the doorway.
"The longer you stand there making comments, the longer it will take," Maura said, adjusting the microscope. When her view cleared, she switched the slide. "I know you're pouting and you can stop that."
"Me? Pout?" Jane folded her arms across her chest.
Maura lifted her gaze. "I know you're thrilled to have a breakthrough in your case, but I can only work so fast."
"You're quicker than the DNA lab," Jane said. "Can't you hurry them up?"
"I've already told you it'll be a week. That's faster than it was going to be." She returned her attention to the sample in front of her. Glancing through the microscope, she switched between the samples. Once she spotted what she was looking for, she maintained her position.
"Maura!"
"Patience, Jane." She switched slides again. Her lips curved at the edges, disguised only by the microscope in front of her. "You do realise when the baby is conceived, we'll have to wait for it to arrive."
Jane looked around the lab. Kent was out on an errand and the other technicians hadn't arrived yet. "I thought we'd agreed not to talk about it in public?"
Maura finally stood up. "Your sample is a match."
"What does that mean?"
"It means the fibre found on the body is the exact fibre found on the murder weapon."
"All I have to do is find out where the fibre came from, and a link to…somebody."
Taking the slides out of the microscope, Maura logged them on the evidence record. "You're one step closer to solving the case."
"Not close enough," Jane said.
"I've already told you," Maura replied. "I cannot make the DNA lab work any faster. It takes as long as it takes."
"Fine." Jane rolled her eyes and headed for the open door. "I'll see you later."
x
The line at the Division One Café was halfway to the door. Jane stood mid-way, tapping her foot against the tiles. She checked her watch every few moments and groaned. Until she received back the DNA results from the lab, she could barely progress the case, but it still bugged her to be standing in line. She had better things to be doing.
"Jane Rizzoli?"
She turned to her right. Silver Heyes stood across the café. Her eyes narrowed in her direction. Two visits since she came to collect Adam? Jane cleared her throat and forged a smile.
"Silver, what are you doing here? Did you have an update on Adam?"
"No, not exactly. He's doing fine." She stepped toward her and joined her in the line. "I came because, well, I know it's silly of me. You didn't call so I should have just accepted that you weren't interested. But I had to know."
"Oh." Turning around, Jane checked the café for nosey detectives. Discussing the date she hadn't realised she'd said yes to was not something she hoped to do in such a public space.
"I'm sorry." Silver shrugged her shoulders. "I probably look so desperate."
"Not at all," Jane said. She reached a hand out to her shoulder, then retracted it before making contact. She didn't want to give her any mixed messages. "I'm sorry if we got our wires crossed. I'm not gay."
"Really?" Silver's eyebrows pulled together. "I could have sworn I was getting serious vibes from you."
"No, I'm as straight as the pope is Catholic."
"Oh God, I'm so sorry." She placed her hands on her cheeks. "I'm so embarrassed."
"Don't be." Jane smiled, and edged forward in the line. "I'm flattered, really."
Silver backed away. "I should go. I'm sorry."
"Wait," Jane stepped toward her. When someone filled the space she vacated, she pushed herself back into the line, her eyes narrowed in the direction of a portly man behind her. She reached toward Silver. "You don't have to go. We could still get a coffee, if you want."
"Now?"
"Sure."
x
The office door slammed closed, making Maura jump. She looked up to find Jane staring at her, her eyes bugged and her hands moving incessantly over each other.
"What's wrong?" Maura asked.
"How do you know if a date is a date?"
Frowning, Maura motioning to the seat opposite her desk. Jane dropped onto the couch by the door. She stood up and joined her.
"You know I fail to notice many social cues," Maura said. "I'm probably not the most qualified person to ask. What happened?"
"Silver turned up when I was buying coffee. I tried to let her down but she looked so sad, so I asked her to join me."
"You invited someone who invited you for a coffee date, to join you for coffee?" Maura clasped her hands over her knees. Her lack of understanding of social cues did not make her a complete novice, but she was out of her depth. Silver's actions seemed pretty obvious, it was Jane's that confused her.
"When you put it like that it sounds like I asked her out," Jane said.
Maura raised an eyebrow. Playing the devil's advocate didn't come naturally to her, but she didn't know what else to do. Jane's actions were contradictory to say the least. "Was that not what you were intending doing?"
"Not on a date."
"Return to the moment you tried to let her down," Maura said, trying to piece together what Jane was telling her.
Jane slouched back in her seat. "She came up to me while I was standing in line waiting for coffee and I told her I wasn't gay."
"So, she knows you're not interested in a romantic relationship," Maura said.
"Not exactly." Jane placed her hands on her thighs. "I told her I wasn't gay, she got embarrassed and tried to leave. I invited her for coffee."
"How is informing her of your sexual orientation not letting her know your intentions?"
"She asked me out. I said no. Then I asked her to join me for coffee. I tried to avoid sending mixed messages, and then I did."
"Did she indicate any confusion?"
"When she was leaving she said she'd like to do it again sometime," Jane said.
"Oh."
"Oh?"
"Did you enjoy her company?"
"Yeah," Jane said, her lips curved involuntarily. Wiping her hand across her mouth, she cleared her throat. Once she'd returned her hand to her thigh again, Maura noticed the smile had gone.
"What exactly is the problem, Jane?"
"I'm not gay."
"I think she knows that."
"I don't want to lead her on."
"It sounds like you've made her very much aware of your position."
"Then why does she want to do it again?"
"I thought you would be better equipped to answer that."
"Why? I have no idea what lesbians are like."
"I think they're like you and I, Jane," Maura said. "They're women first and foremost."
"And that makes me better equipped, how?"
The alarm on Maura's phone rang loudly across the office. She stood up and took her phone off the desk, turning off the alarm.
"I have to leave."
"Now?"
"I have an appointment with my lawyer, you're welcome to come along."
Jane sighed. "Still no, Maur."
She picked up her purse and placed her jacket over her forearm. "Good luck with your quandary. Meet me for dinner?"
"Only if you're cooking."
"How about Chinese takeout?"
"Are you paying?"
"I'm going to be carrying your child, I think you should pay," Maura said. She held up her free arm as she walked out of the room, grinning from ear to ear.
x
Takeout containers cluttered the coffee table, filled with Maura's favourite foods. It was the least Jane could do under the circumstances. As she had rightly pointed out earlier that day, she was going to carry her future son or daughter. Buying takeout was the least she could do.
"Did you reach any conclusions about Silver?" Maura asked.
"No," Jane said, fighting with a piece of chicken that had fallen into her egg fried rice.
"Have you made any plans to see her again?"
"No," Jane repeated. "Can we please talk about something else?"
"I've had my lawyer draw up the documents," Maura said. She opened her briefcase and handed a copy of the document to Jane. "This is a draft copy of a generic contract they use in non-biological parenting cases. If you'd like to highlight the particular points you'd like to see in our contract, and return it to me with comments, then we can get a final document written up."
"That's not what I meant when I said let's talk about something else."
"What else would we talk about?"
"Literally any subject topic that isn't Silver, or lawyers."
"Now that I've handed you the document, I think we should discuss it."
Jane stabbed at the piece of chicken with her chopstick and placed it in her mouth. "I don't need to sign a contract, Maura."
"Yes, you do," she said.
She put the container on the coffee table and scanned the document. Her eyes narrowed as they travelled down the page. Several pages later, she looked up. "I wouldn't ever stop you from seeing our kid, Maura. Why would you think that?"
"I don't," Maura said. "But we have to cover all future possibilities. What about when things change?"
"Things are not going to change."
"Things have already changed."
"What do you mean?"
"You went on a date, Jane." She poured herself a glass of wine. "If that relationship becomes something of significance, then I want to protect us both."
Jane sighed. The insinuation that she had been on a date with a woman irked her. Maura was crossing a line and she was teetering dangerous close to the edge of her tether. "It wasn't a date. We're just friends."
"It could be a date, though. If you wanted it to be."
"I don't."
"If not this date, the next one," Maura said. "Neither of us know our futures. What if you meet somebody tomorrow and want to have a family with them?"
All Jane wanted was a quiet evening with her friend. The last thing she wanted was to argue, yet again, over a non-existent child. The way things were going she didn't anticipate they'd get much further. "None of that changes this situation. We are having a child together. We're building a family that goes beyond marriage and relationships."
"You say that now," Maura said. "But what will it be like if you want to raise your own family?"
"What will it be like if you want to raise yours?"
"I don't anticipate that happening."
"Neither do I." Jane placed her hand on the couch between them. "I trust you. Don't you trust me?"
"Of course I do. But things can change. This arrangement we have is complex and I want to protect the baby."
"So do I."
"Then please, Jane, can you take this seriously?"
She ran her fingers across her temples. "We're going to be discussing this kid for the next twenty years, can we please just have one night where baby talk is off the table?"
"If we must."
"Thank you."
They fell into a silence. Jane picked up her container and commenced eating. Beside her, she could hear Maura chewing.
The amount of information that needed considering before they even thought about their anonymous donor was astounding. Sometimes Jane wished she could find someone to have a baby with, then maybe it wouldn't be such a complicated mess of contracts and lists. She knew it was, in part, due to Maura's nature. She needed to be in control, whereas Jane was quite happy to take each day as it came.
"Why did you ask Silver for coffee?"
"I don't know," Jane said, shrugging her shoulders.
"If you like her, it's okay."
Jane glared. "It's not like that."
"If it was, it would be okay."
"I don't want to discuss it anymore, Maura. Let me eat in peace."
"I know." She held her glass of wine up to her mouth. "But I wanted you to know that if it was like that, it would be okay."
x
When Maura met Jane all those years ago, she looked like a prostitute. In her defense, Jane was working undercover. The friendship they formed over the years was unconventional to say the least. They were like chalk and cheese, and on paper it didn't make sense. Maura was borderline autistic, something which she made sure to confirm later in life. Jane was your run of the mill detective who loved beer and baseball. The first time Maura met Jane after her case, she questioned her sexuality.
"I'm sorry for pushing you earlier," Maura said, holding her cellphone to her ear.
"I thought you were getting an early night," Jane replied.
Over the years, Maura had learned more about Jane as a person and had figured out her personality in some detail. In those early days she was not quite as adept as she had become at picking up on Jane's social cues. According to her research, Jane's personality matched up perfectly with that of a stereotypical lesbian.
"I couldn't sleep."
On a daily basis there was no evidence to support her hypothesis. Until they pretended to be in a relationship to scare off Giovani. Even that was tentative based on the reasoning for their ruse.
"Silver's a nice person," Jane said. "But it's not like that. I don't have any friends outside of work, maybe it'd be nice to."
After saying goodnight earlier in the evening, Maura lay in bed questioning everything she knew about Jane. She said she wasn't interested in women, then asked Silver on a date. It didn't make sense to Maura at the time.
"I just want you to be happy," she said, pulling her bed sheets up to her chin.
Jane stayed silent for a moment. "Who says I'm not?"