A/N-This was suppose to be the last chapter but it's not. Planning on finishing in one or two chapters but I have no self control so I can't promise. I tried to add some depth for Natsu and I was struggling. Then today I started writing and it all just kind of spewed out like brain vomit. That brain vomit is what makes up the last half of the chapter and also made it the longest chapter I've written. I hope it came across ok and I hope I didn't mess it all up by adding something very serious out of no where. Writing a story as other's are reading it has been one of most stressful yet rewarding things so thank you for reading and the reviews. I don't always feel like I know what to say to respond to a review, I'm awkward like that but Ill keep working on it and working on my lazy editing.
They spent the day packing and exchanging phone numbers, addresses, and handmade gifts. When Zeref gave Laxus the ceramic dragon he actually got a little choked up. Laxus however would not admit it and blamed it on the dust in the air.
As the sun went down the bonfire started. It was a typical celebration. They ate hot dogs and marshmallows and punch was served. At one point Leo tried to get everyone to do a Journey sing a long but ended up getting tacked by Lyon before he could really get going.
Taking that as a cue Mira pulled out a boom box and played music so the kids could dance. Laxus sat out dancing because I life his casted and Freed was happy to sit out with him. Lyon and Leo were both able to get a few dances in with some of the girls in the camp. Natsu felt bad that Levy was missing Gajeel and kept asking her to dance but after he stepped on her foot twice she told him she was fine sitting out. Mira took pity on him and dance a couple songs with him. Zeref stayed with Mavis although they only really danced to the slow songs.
Gray watched from the sidelines amused and perfectly happy not participating until Natsu made a comment about having better rhythm than Gray.
Gray scoffed, "Seriously! Laxus would dance better in his cast than you right now."
"Prove it then stripper."
"Uh how it wouldn't be fair. You have Mira making you look better than you really are. She's doing all the work."
Mira smiled, "That's so sweet Gray. It would be unfair to compete with me as your partner Natsu. There isn't really anyone on my level."
"Really? Is that so?" Gray turned to see Erza standing behind him arms crossed across her chest. "You must of forgotten about me Mira. I assure you I am not only on but have blown past your level."
Mira giggled and a foreboding chill settled over Gray. "Well I would assume with robust confidence like that you wouldn't be opposed to proving yourself in a little friendly competition?"
"That just sounds lovely Mira." The seemingly sweet words were spoke with a treacherous undertone. "It appears to be your lucky Gray as I have decided to assist you in your friendly rivalry against Natsu."
Gray held both hands up and started to back away, "You know it's not that big of a deal! Really I don't care."
Erza grab him by the elbow and pulled him to the center with Mira and Natsu, "Don't worry Gray, we will destroy them.""
"Erza is all talk Natsu, we'll crush 'em," Mira smiled but it wasn't her normal playful smile. Natsu thought she almost looked like a demon.
The teen in Erza's grip started looking around for help, he spotted Jellal, "Wait wouldn't you rather dance with Jellal?"
"Jellal can't dance at all," Gray watched the tattooed man breath a noticeable sigh of relief. "Beside I have taking upon myself to ensure that you stay reasonably clothed during the dance. Now stand straight and hold on because I will lead."
The redhead swung Gray around using excessive force which wouldn't of been a problem but she lost her grip immediately as she became distracted by something else. Gray couldn't stop himself in time to keep from bowling straight into Mira and Natsu sending all three people landing on their rumps.
Gray sat up a little stunned but not as stunned as the pink haired teen. Mira groaned from where she had fallen flat on her back. "Ugh I feel like someone dropped a freaking truck on me."
"No not a truck just a teen boy," Lyon spoke up, "You fell flat on the ground at least Natsu got lucky and landed on something soft right?"
Natsu was frozen partly in embarrassment and partly in fear of retaliation from the older woman. He had at least raised himself up so his face was no longer resting in between generous mounds on Mira's chest. He now held himself hovered above her his arms on each side holding him up. "I'm..I'm..I.. It was an accident, oh God I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."
"No Natsu I'd say you were so so lucky!"
"Shut up Leo!" The flustered teen hollered as he scrambled to pull himself up as laughter erupted.
Mira stood up and dusted herself off, "It's ok Natsu I know you weren't trying to be a creepy pervert on purpose."
The teen covered his face with his hands, "No I'm just a creepy pervert on accident that's way better." He turned to the dark haired teen, "This is all your fault what the hell Gray?"
Gray defended himself, "Hey it wasn't my fault! Erza swung me around and then just let go I couldn't stop myself!"
They all turned to Erza, "What the hell Erza?"
The woman in question turned to the others wide eyed and apologetic. Holding up a bag she asked, "Did you guys know they made strawberry marshmallows? Isn't this amazing? Imagine s'mores made with these or putting them in hot chocolate."
They only stared back in response to which Erza just shrugged and eat a marshmallow as Jellal drug her away from the crowd. The festivities continued with the teens laughing, dancing, or just hanging out until Gramps called for them to clean up and head to the cabins for lights out.
As the boys settled into their bunks the usual chatter was replaced by a thick silence. None of them wanted to be the one to point out the obvious fact that this was the last night they were all spending in at camp together. Laxus sat on the bottom bunk next to Freed while Lyon and Gray were sitting on the top bunk across from them, Leo was sitting on his bunk looking around at all the walls. Zeref was sitting on his bunk staring at his hands while Natsu put his tooth brush away then joined his brother. Laxus placed an arm around Freed and pulled him close when he thought he heard a sniffle coming from the teen.
"OK this is ridiculous." Lyon looked around at the other boys as he continued, "It's not like we are all heading to far off underdeveloped lands after tomorrow. Most of us live within a couple hundred miles of the camp. With computers, tablets, and phones there's no excuse for us to lose touch and not stay friends. If we really want to we just have to put the effort in. So can we stop sitting here like this is the end because it's not. We made bonds this summer that won't easily be broken. I'm not good at being open and honest but I feel like for the first time I've been able to open myself up and make real friends. I'm not letting go of the people who I feel have seen the real me. This is not the end of our friendship."
Freed smiled, "You are so right. If we want to keep the bonds we made it is up to us. I for one plan on doing everything it takes. Thank you Lyon."
Gray shoved Lyon playfully, "Who would of thought Lyon would end up being the voice of reason?"
"Well I know I'm not losing any of you guys." Natsu smiled, "This has been an awesome summer."
Leo nodded, "It's crazy to think we all ended up at this camp and somehow the best people ended up in the same cabin with me. Like maybe there was a greater force at work. I feel like maybe we were destined to be friends."
"Ok," Laxus coughed and cleared his throat, "I'm not real great at this so don't expect me to repeat it. Thank you for showing me what real friendship is. For showing me that it's ok to make mistakes and open up. Thanks for not giving up on me that meant so much."
"Laxus really does care about us!" Natsu grinned at the blonde.
"I will kill you Natsu," Laxus grumbled under his breath.
Lyon looked around, "Who would've thought a bunch of strange kids like us would find lasting friendship at summer camp?"
Freed smiled at the blushing blonde, "It really is crazy how one summer changed so much."
"It will be a summer I will never forget," Leo added.
"You guys are getting cheesier with each line. I think Molly Ringwald would choke on the amount of fluff and cleshea in this room right now."
They all turned to Zeref and Leo spoke, "When did he go from shy and quiet to sarcastic and witty?"
"What? You guys think you are the only one's who went through a life changing experience this summer?" Zeref shrugged and smiled shyly.
A small round of laughter went through the cabin as the boys started crawling into their own bunks. Good nights were passed around sincerely before Lyon shouted, "Dammit no one got the light."
"I got it," Freed responded and jump up flicking the light switch down once.
Natsu noticed the dark silhouette of the slender teen didn't move however, "Freed it's fine, just do what you have to do. It's not gonna hurt anyone and you know we are all messed up so we won't judge ya."
Lyon spoke next, "He's right Freed were your friends no matter what. I'm sorry I was such a jerk when we all first got here and I promise that had nothing to do with you, just me tripping on my own shit. We got your back no matter what."
Freed's hands had been shaky at his sides but them seemed to calm and he smiled. No one said anything when the lights turned on and off three more times to make the 4 flips Freed needed to feel comfortable at the moment. He was ok with that 'baby steps' he told himself as he ignored the voice telling him that he was not getting better. He crawled into his neatly made bunk and went to sleep without any other rituals.
Before they all drifted off to sleep Laxus's voice broke the silence one last time, "I think this goes without saying but if any of you little shits tell Gajeel I got all emotional I will hurt you." The silence was all the response the blonde needed.
FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT
Hours later, "Natsu are you awake?" the raven haired boy whispered.
The boy in question rolled over onto his elbows so he could face the other teen a worrisome look on his face, "You know it but what are you doing up? You took your night meds right?"
Gray smiled at Natsu, "Yes I took all my required night meds. I don't have to take the sleeping pill every night. They say it's actually better if I don't become completely dependent on it. I slept fine without it last night but tonight I think I'm just to worked up. We have to get up early in the morning I don't want to feel groggy."
"Yeah I keep thinking about tomorrow too. Having to sit and have a serious discussion with Gramps and my old man dosen't sound too fun."
Gray laughed, "Well I'll trade you. You can sit with Jellal and Ur for my wrap up."
"No thank you! That lady was scary when I met her at the hospital!"
Both boys laughed for a moment then Gray spoke, "Do you want to talk about your wrap up meeting? Maybe getting some of it out now will make it easier tomorrow?"
Natsu was quiet, he knew Gray would listen and not judge but it was hard to talk about these kinds of things when the focus was on him. He could be deep and emotional and listen to anything anyone had to say but his own baggage was different. They just never talked about it. Gramps was Natsu's therapist and Natsu was one of the few. Gramps only took a few cases since he had so much with running the camp. Natsu, the Rouge kid that Sting was crazy about and a nice kid named Eve.
A few weeks into camp Natsu had asked Gramps how he decided which kids he'd counsel and Gramps smiled sadly, "I only take on campers with specific incidents in their past. You all have a similar common denominator."
"What does that mean? We all have ADHD?"
Somehow the old man's smile seemed even sadder and Natsu didn't like it, "I can't discuss their situations with you I've actually probably said more than I should. Natsu we need to get into the tough work ok? I want to talk with you about those years between 3 and 7 from when you were abducted until you were reunited with your family."
Natsu had actually sat still and didn't make a sound until Gramps had dismissed him that day. It had taken a few more sessions before he could even say a few sentences about it.
"Natsu are you ok? You don't have to talk about anything if you don't want to. I know how hard it can be." Natsu shook his head and stared at Gray. He'd been lost in his own thoughts for a moment.
"Sorry I spaced out."
Gray chuckled, "It's ok I get it. It's fine let's talk about something else."
"No."
"No? Are you ready to just get some sleep." Gray questioned unsure.
"No, I want to talk about it. A little at least, I want to try. I have a voice and there are those still going thru things that don't. The big thing I learned is that If I don't use it to let people know what's happening around them then it stays in the dark and doesn't get seen. If no one see's it then no one stops it right?"
"Right."
"That can't happen, I can't act like nothing's happening just to stay comfortable. That's just cruel and cowardly. I have a duty to share what I know. I have to help those still fighting this in the dark. Right?"
Gray cocked his head to the side, "Being able to talk openingly about something or not does not make anyone a coward Natsu, some people just can not share everything and that's ok. You know that right?"
Natsu nodded, "I know I didn't mean to say those who won't talk about it are cowards. I mean I see myself as someone who would do anything to help and If that means I need to speak out I have to do it because I know who I am. I have to speak out and let everyone know what's happening around them everywhere."
"Ok, I understand."
"People have to be informed to fight. I need to speak out, I just do." Natsu went silent again and fiddled with the bands on his wrist.
Gray spoke sensing Natsu needed the prod to continue, "I would like to know if you still want to talk about it."
"Did you know 800 thousand people are trafficked each year?"
"What?"
"Human trafficking, modern day slavery, stay with me here Gray."
"Um ok."
"Anyway a majority are female and children usually abducted around the age of 12 to 14 in the united states. I was 3 when I was taken probably because I was an easy target always running off when we were at the busy park where I was taken."
Gray covered his mouth as his gasped, "Oh my God Natsu I..I..I.."
Natsu shook his head, "Don't just let me speak I have more information ok?"
Gray nodded and the pink haired teen continued, "Adults and children are taken for many reasons but the biggest is for sexual exploitation. 100,000 to 300,000 children are sexually exploited in the united states alone. There are very sick people who think that it is ok to use and force people even children into this life. Annually human trafficking generates $9.2 billion dollars a year! That's crays right, that much money and yet it's not something you see very many people openly fighting against. People can come together to save a forest or rage over a gorilla then if they know what's happening in front of them and know what to look for maybe they can help put an end to this also!"
Natsu had sat up and was talking louder as he went and very animatedly, "If someone like me speaks and brings this subject out of the dark then they can't pretend like it's not happening right?! I mean I'm proof enough! People will know maybe start watching for signs at the park or mall, kids are even taken outside of schools and no one sees because they didn't know what to look for. But I'm going to speak up so they know! So some other kid doesn't have to go through that! Ever! No one should have to go through that, it's scary and dehumanizing."
Natsu was speaking much faster now, "No kid should ever go through that. I wore the same clothes for weeks maybe months.I was always stuck in this basement with a dirt floor and no where to use the bathroom but a bucket. I would get hit if I made any noise. I was so scared I even learned not to move at all! I would just sit still scared to even hardly breath because they would get angry and beat me. Maybe that's part of why I have such a hard time being still and quiet now, I mean why would I ever want to be still again after doing it for like 4 years. There were other kids but they would all come and go but I was always there. Cold and hungry and scared. Then after a couple years there was this guy and he acted nice. He brought me clothes that weren't filthy and food I hadn't had in forever. He didn't scream or yell and I thought he was different." Natsu paused his eyes almost glazed over as if he wasn't in the present, "He wasn't different though, he was just as evil as the rest of them. He came one night and told me it was time for me to repay him for his kindness. I didn't understand what he meant, I mean I had nothing I could give him and I told him that. He told me I did have a way to repay him and he would show me how." Natsu was breathing fast now, he scrunched his eyes shut and rubbed his face.
Gray looked around and noticed that at least the boys he could see had woken up and he was sure the others had too. He wasn't sure if he should tell Natsu they were awake. Gray was sure they weren't trying to pry or eavesdrop but it was one room and Natsu had gotten loud.
Natsu wrapped both his arms around himself, "I'm sorry that's too much I don't even know why I brought THAT part up. I have never said it out loud, I mean my dad knew because the doctor told him, my body had all the evidence on it, but I have never said it to anyone not even to Gramps in therapy. We talked about everything else but I just couldn't speak when he brought THAT up."
Gray wasn't sure what to say but he saw a figure pull himself up on the bed next to Natsu. Zeref put his arm around his brother, "It's up to you Natsu, completely your choice. If you don't want to you don't have to. But if you want to or need to get it out, if holding it in is too much you can tell us everything, part of things, whatever you need to and we will listen to whatever you need to say no matter how hard it is because we care and we are all here for you ok? Sometimes keeping it in is the only way to move on especially when it's fresh but that can become so heavy after a while. Maybe you are getting tired of carrying that by yourself and you hadn't even realized it. So if you need to say it to someone else we are here and if you can't we are still here and will be ready when you can."
Gray crawled to the other bunk and sat on the other side of Natsu he noticed Freed sitting in his bunk with his head back against with wall. Leo had rolled over and was watching him, Zeref and Natsu. Laxus was awake up stayed laying on his back listening quietly and Gray was sure Lyon was listening quietly also.
Natsu wasn't sure how are what he wanted to say, just that he was tired of dealing with it alone. He thought of the few meetings Gramps had talked him into going. Gramps said he never had to talk during one ,and he never did, but that he would just sit there and listen it would help. It was just called a Survivor's Meeting. It was for those dealing with the aftermath of rape or sexual assault. Rouge and Eve were always there and a few girls from the girl's camp. He always listened when they spoke sometimes they only talked about what was going on at the moment but sometimes they spoke about the things they had survived. Rogue had not spoke much but the few time he had stood out to Natsu.
Rogue had lived through years of abuse also but his abuser had been someone he trusted, the teacher in some after school activity that he had been in for years. It made Natsu sad that Rogue had trusted and looked up to someone that had betrayed him so wrongly.
He had listened so intently to everything the boy had said, "I was the victim of sexual abuse from around 6 to the age of 12. My abuser was a teacher I was very close to and cared about very much. I thought he cared about me also and he used that to gain my trust and eventually my secrecy. It had started with inappropriate touches and before he was caught It had evolved into much more. He raped me more than once. As far as the physicality of it all that is all I wish to divulge. I know for some speaking of the details is a release but I will not spend one second giving him any glory by relieving what he took sick enjoyment out of. However I will speak about my feelings. I trusted him and I was betrayed and hurt. I was confused and scared. I felt like I had let everyone down by not speaking up but that was only because he twisted and manipulated how i felt. I felt filthy and sick because I thought I had let it happen by not speaking up. I felt empty and alone because he hurt me in ways that felt so wrong inside and out so I closed my family and friends out. I thought how could they ever look at me again if i couldn't look at myself. I felt worthless because I thought I had let everyone down. The biggest emotion I felt was shame, I was ashamed of what he had done to me. I was ashamed because of all the things it made me feel filthy, sick, empty, worthless, and dirty. I was broken, damaged, and ashamed. But he was the sick and broken one. He was damaged in the head and all the shame I felt and sometimes still feel is not mine to own. I WAS A CHILD. I had not the knowledge or the growth to give consent to such acts. I was a victim and survivor. The shame I felt that we all feel at times is there because he and society has instilled it in us by saying don't talk about it because it's uncomfortable. What do we have to be ashamed of? We are victims, if I had be beat up I would be able to tell you over coffee but if I'm talking about how I was raped in that same shop then it makes others uncomfortable. That is the entire reason we need to speak about it. It happens and the more we say it the more it comes into the light, the more people don't have to feel this heavy unearned shame. It is our job as survivor's if we are able to speak for those who do not feel like they are able. We could save someone."
After that Natsu had researched everything he could on human trafficking and sexual 's words would always stick with him. He had started talking more in therapy after that but he still hadn't said THAT one particular detail out loud.
Natsu felt Zeref hug tighter reassuringly and it brought him back to the present. The pink haired teen took a shaky breath, he felt nauseous. He looked up to see Lyon had moved to sit beside Freed and Leo was watching him from his bunk. Laxus was still laying still on his back but his eyes were opened he thought. Natsu wondered how long they had all been awake for, probably a while and he just now noticed. He felt Gray grab his hand lacing their fingers together and squeezed trying to physically send Natsu whatever strength or courage he was trying to muster in himself.
The pink haired teen took another shaky breath, "He did things that made me feel confused and filthy. It was just touches at first but then he showed me how he wanted me to use my mouth. I hated it, every second but I could get through it. Then he came in one night and it wasn't enough. He held me down and it hurt so much I actually screamed and cried. I was terrified he was so heavy on top of me and it just hurt so bad, I have never felt anything so painful. It happened more but I didn't count. I didn't know why or what he was doing, how it could make him smile. I was always dirty after and he would just put his pants back on and leave me there to try to clean myself. I was so sore all the time and I think I really wanted to die. I still didn't understand it and it wasn't until I heard the doctor tell my dad that I even knew there was a name for what had happened. He had raped me." Natsu was shaking now and his voice was much quieter, "I taken by assholes who sell kids to other assholes and I was…...I was raped. I don't know what to do now Zeref." Natsu turned to his brother. The pink haired teen had started to cry but was trying to hold it in as much as possible, "I said it outloud and they know and it, it, it really happened now. It's not just something in my head it's out and I'm not the only one who knows so it really happened. I was raped." Natsu was starting to stutter through the tears, "I don't know what ha-happens now. I-I-I don't know what t-to do c-c-c-cause it really happened."
Zeref pulled Natsu in closer to himself, he wasn't sure what to do or tell Natsu. Gray had let go of his hand and was soothingly rubbing small circles between the teens shoulder dark haired teen looked up and made eye contact with Leo who had moved to sit next to Freed on the side unoccupied by Lyon. Freed was trying not to cry himself and Lyon had put an arm around his shoulders to comfort him. Leo was nodding in agreement as Lyon whispered to the green haired boy that it was ok if he needed to cry, that he was empathetic not selfish for crying. The 3 boys felt the bunk shift as Laxus came off the top bunk to the floor. They had thought he was coming to aid with Freed's distress but he hobbled over to the bunk the other 3 were sitting on.
He stood in front of Natsu and placed a hand on the teens knee. "You do not have to do or say anything else. I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say I'm honored that you chose us to open up to. It was very brave of you to share that with us and I'm sure it was a huge step to recovery and tomorrow morning we can all or just you if that's better sit with Gramps before parents show up and let him know the step you took tonight. He will have so many ideas and helpful suggestions for what's next. This is what he does so you can trust him to show you what's next. But you don't have to push yourself or figure everything out right now. You can take it as fast or slow as you need to and right now you look exhausted. It's been one big fucking emotional rollercoaster of a summer for all everyone."
Natsu nodded, "Yeah I'm pretty tired now but I don't really want to be alone."
Leo stood up, "Well good thing these flimsy mattresses aren't heavy then right?" Gray caught on as he watch Leo start to pull his mattress to the floor and jumped off the bunk to help. By the time they were finished the 3 bunks were all missing their bottom mattress and they were lined side to side in the middle of the cabin. Laxus opted to sleep on Freed's bunk instead of the floor while the other boys piled on the the floor bed. Laxus was certain they chatted most of the night. He would snap when their giggling got too loud but he knew they weren't that scared of him anymore. It had to of been 5 or 6 am when he woke up to Freed pushing him and curling up next to him. They were all going to be exhausted when the 8 am wake up came around but he was sure it was worth it.