Chapter 50: Glaciers and Lines in the Sand

Guys. It's the 50th chapter. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat.

But seriously, it's been one hell of a ride guys. I couldn't have done it without you. Here's to fifty more! *pops champagne bottle*

So, I've gotten a few reviews over how I write Dyris and her manipulation so well. Honestly, I'm just copying from the episode, I'm not really sure I could pull manipulation off so well without some sort of base. If anything, congratulate the writers of the show.

Also, I would've gotten this chapter up sooner, but the weather where I am is wonky. I live up north, so I'm used to snow, but not in April. Not to mention the winds were strong enough to take down my college's WiFi connection for a couple hours. Not fun. But at least I got it posted in the end, so that's all that matters.

On with the chapter!

"I don't know, this Dyris character seems fishy."

"…Eric."

"What?"

"She's a mermaid."

"Oh." Eric's breath hitched. "Oh. That pun was totally unintentional."

Valerie snorted as she hopped from one rooftop to another. "I believe you. But what makes you think she's… fishy?"

"Well, gee, I don't know," Eric said sarcastically. "The fact that she's sweet talking your guy friends into working for her? The fact that she convinced you to do the same thing?"

"Oh come on, I just did it once," Valerie protested, walking slowly across the roof. "And I think I flubbed it pretty badly. I don't think I'm capable of getting people to do what I want."

"But Raimundo did it anyway."

"Yeah, well…"

"…Val, is there something you're not telling me?"

She quickly sucked in some of the cool night air before exhaling. "I think we're crushing on each other?"

There was silence on the other line. And then, "You think?" Eric asked curiously.

Valerie frowned in thought. "Well, I don't want to act so full of myself that I think Rai has a crush on me, but the signs he's giving me point to that conclusion."

"And you have a crush on him?"

"Well, yeah."

Eric made a noncommittal noise. "Well, he does seem better than that Luc Blanc character."

Valerie rolled her eyes. "Luc was a dumbass who didn't know what was good for him. Rai's a good guy. He's got his flaws, but he's got a good heart."

He made another vague noise. "I don't know him as well as you do, so I'll take your word for it. You're a pretty good judge of character."

"Barring the occasional mistake," Valerie said wryly.

"Hey, no one's perfect."

"Like Dyris," she pointed out. "I know you don't like her, but it's not like we can abandon her. Klofange is still after her, and she's the last mermaid."

"You're stuck between a rock and a hard place," Eric concluded.

"Pretty much, yeah."

He groaned. "I hope you know what you're doing."

"Yeah, I hope so too," Valerie mumbled. "Well, I should go. Knowing the Temple, something's about to go down any minute now."

"Stay safe," Eric cautioned. "Love you."

"Love you too." Valerie disconnected the call and hid her phone away. And then she ran down the rooftop and jumped onto another, flipping and somersaulting through the air with practiced ease. If there was one thing she absolutely loved about the Xiaolin Temple, it was how much fun travel could be. There was nothing like doing parkour high above the ground, the moonlight gently illuminating her path through the makeshift village.

Her fun was interrupted by the sound of loud noises- specifically, a red laser cutting through a building, making it half its size.

Yeah. That was weird.

Valerie ran towards the smoke and flames and saw familiar Roman-esque robots attacking. Leaping from a rooftop, she planted her feet on the head of one of them, crushing it completely before flipping away. Hearing it explode, she landed on the ground and put her body in a defensive position.

"A head on attack?" Kimiko said as she clung onto a roof frame. "That's not Jack's style."

Clay, who was nearer to Valerie, said, "Something smells funnier than beans' night at a skunk diner." He then grabbed onto an attacking Jack-bot and threw it aside. Raimundo, who had been idly watching a robot fly over to attack him, merely leaned backwards and watched the two colliding Jack-bots explode on impact right above him. He then straightened up and dusted off his red shirt.

"Look!" Omi pointed dramatically to the rooftops. They all saw the dark mass that was Klofange jump over them, bounding over roofs to get to Dyris.

"I must save her!" Omi declared, puffing out his chest.

"No, I gotta save her!" Clay said, smacking Omi away.

"No, I'm gonna save her!" Raimundo tried to jump over Clay, only to have the cowboy stop him by the neck of his shirt. Omi clung onto his leg and growled.

"Oh for the love of…" Valerie turned to Kimiko. "You wanna save Dyris or take out the robots?"

Kimiko sighed, annoyed. "We'll take care of the robots. You guys save the damsel." The boys cheered and ran off.

"We're too good for them, honestly," Valerie huffed. She then glared at a couple of Jack-bots and yelled, "Empyrean Drive: Aether!" Her hands glowing purple, she sent a stream of energy at the robots, the metal exploding instantly.

"Judolette Flip: Fire!" Waving her arm and leg in circles, Kimiko threw and kicked blasts of fire into the air, sending them at Jack-bots and forcing them to detonate into a mess of scorched metal. One of the Jack-bots even cried out, "Help me, I'm melting!" right before it died.

Valerie quickly sent another blast of energy at a Jack-bot, sending it colliding into another, and another, and another, watching as the pieces rained onto the ground. Kimiko then landed near her, quickly kicking another robot away from them and sending it to burst against a wall.

"So," the Asian said, standing up, "should we go save the boys?"

Not even five minutes later

Omi was in a wire trap, Raimundo was wrapped in rope, and Clay had been thrown against the wall, taking out one of the garden's statues along with him.

A tic mark appeared above Valerie's eyebrow. "Really? Really?"

"The mermaid be gone!" Klofange roared, standing over the pool where Dyris was supposed to be.

"But how is that possible?" Omi asked as Raimundo carried him and the wires around. "How could she travel out of water?" Meanwhile, Clay flung some fish out of his hat- Valerie decided not to ask.

Klofange pointed to the walkway. "There be your lady." They all looked down to see the puddles of water exiting the pool, which slowly made way to claw shaped footmarks that led out of the garden. Valerie could feel her blood curdle at the sight.

"A monster," Klofange continued, brandishing his multi-purpose trident. "Perhaps the most dangerous one this world's ever seen."

Jack, who had been hovering nearby, yelped, "Whoa, whoa, rewind! If she's a monster, then that means, you're a… a… good guy?" His lips quivering, he whimpered, "But I-you- need alone time!" His voice breaking, Jack flew away, tears already brimming in his eyes.

A few minutes later, the Xiaolin monks took Klofange inside the Temple, sitting down at a table in one of the more secluded rooms. From there, the hunter told his side of the story: "Yes, I hunts her, like she says. But it's to keep her from destroying the lot of us!" He slapped his giant hand on the ornately carved table and glared at each and every one of them.

"Oh, and how's she planning to do that?" Valerie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"She aims to flood the planet, rulin' it from undersea," Klofange snarled. "That mermaid beauty's fooled many a good man, but when she leaves the water, her true form be revealed." He stood away from them, facing the wall. "Tis something no man should have to see twice in one lifetime. You were lucky."

And then Dojo ran into the room, shouting, "We've been robbed!"

Valerie face palmed. "Of course we were."

Inside the Vault

The others followed Dojo as he quickly slithered down the stone steps. "It looks like she bagged three of our Wu," the reptile was saying, leading them to a giant gaping hole in the wall. "The Tunnel Armadillo, Golden Tiger Claws, and Fist of Tebigong."

"How did she know about the Vault?" Omi asked curiously.

"Um, I may have mentioned it to her," Clay said sheepishly. "She said she never saw one before. But wasn't a monk there guarding it?"

Kimiko played with a lock of her hair. "She, uh, got me to convince one of the boys to, uh, hand scrub all the bathrooms." She gave an embarrassed smile.

"She asked me if there were any Shen Gong Wu that could give the user super strength," Valerie admitted. "I figured she was just curious, so I listed a few of them… which included all the Wu she stole." She bit her lip and looked away guiltily.

Raimundo rubbed the back of his head. "She had me fill the Armadillo with sea water. I figured it was just a rebel prank."

"Now it all makes sense," Omi pointed out. He began brushing his finger along the edges of the hole. "Dyris wanted to know which Shen Gong Wu would have the power to create giant volcanoes to melt the polar icecaps and flood the world."

"DUDE!" Valerie cried out as they all glared at him.

"I-I assumed it was idle chat-chit!"

"Hmm," Klofange said. "You sure you lot are the good guys?" That sent a shameful wave of guilt through the monks.

Valerie shook her head, dispelling those thoughts. "We may have messed up, but we can still fix this."

"She's right," Kimiko agreed. "Dyris would still have to drill close enough to the Earth's core to set off an earthquake. Just because we could withstand the heat, doesn't mean a mermaid can."

Dojo then coughed and brought his pointer fingers together in a sheepish gesture. "Did I mention that a new Shen Gong Wu just revealed itself?" Bringing out the Ancient Scroll out of thin air once again, he showed them the newest talisman. "The Black Beetle: it coats its owner in a heat resistant black body armor, like a beetle shell."

"And you showed her where to find it," Valerie said flatly.

"It just… sort of came up."

Yelling in frustration, Klofange snarled, "Just tell me where the beast went, and I'll-!"

"You must allow us to make up for our foolishness," Omi told him. "We will hunt the mer-monster together!"

Back in the Arctic

Dojo, once again in his boat form, waded threw the frigid water. "Last stop, Arctic Ocean, home of the Black Beetle! And the common cold," he added with a sneeze.

"So where is it?" Kimiko asked.

Gently gliding to a stop, Dojo revealed an arm. "The Wu is less than a mile… that a way." He pointed below the surface of the ocean.

Gills of Hamachi in hand and one foot over the edge, Omi declared, "Remember, our foe is very slippery, and very evil. And very, very pretty," he added dreamily.

"Dude, keep it together," Valerie snapped.

Shaking his head, Omi cried out, "Gills of Hamachi!" and put the talisman around his neck. As he glowed yellow, they watched, fascinated, as Omi's skin turned to green scales and his fingers webbed together. His face turning fish like, the little monk jumped into the water and disappeared below the surface.

A moment's pause, then: "He's gonna get his ass beat by Dyris," Valerie stated.

"Yep," Kimiko agreed. She held up a Wu. "Let's hope the Silver Manta Ray is waterproof."

A few minutes later, the monks- plus Dojo and Klofange- were safely inside the Manta Ray. Swimming around, they eventually noticed a blue-skinned Omi flailing around in the frigid water. Literally sucking him into the ship (through the mouth piece no less!) the little monk was lifted inside, soaking wet and coughing up sea water.

"Did you get the Black Beetle?" Kimiko asked hopefully.

"Does it look like I got the Black Beetle?!" Omi yelled, standing up and putting his hands on his waist.

Making a face, Raimundo turned around in the driver's seat and shot back, "No, it looks like you lost the Gills of Hamachi."

Omi pointed a finger into the air. "I will not be defeated by a fish! Even a very pretty fish," he whispered.

"I mark her off yer starboard," Klofange suddenly piped up. No one knew what he was talking about and showed it plainly on their faces. "That's your right." At that, everyone gasped and looked to the right in time to see Dyris swimming away from them.

"She's headed for the Armadillo!" Raimundo cried out. He then steered the Manta Ray towards Dyris, preparing to suck her in… only to have torpedoes shoot at the back of the ship, lighting up the dark ocean and doing damage to the Manta Ray.

Valerie looked back to see a metallic black and bronze squid-like submarine shooting at them. It was flanked by a posse of robotic sharks. "Goddammit Spicer," she muttered under her breath.

Flipping the communications channel on, Raimundo gestured to the smug face of the evil boy genius. "Guess who's back on the right side!" Jack crowed. "And by that I-I mean the wrong side." He frowned. "I'm with the evil mermaid."

Leaning forward and putting her fists on the console, Kimiko yelled, "Jack, she's a monster! She's trying to flood the Earth!"

Jack scoffed. "So? She's quirky."

"And another one's fallen for her charm," Valerie stated flatly.

"Shark-bots, attack!" The shark posse instantly swam over and started to eat at the Manta Ray. Seriously. Metal robots were trying to eat metal. Valerie could've sworn that was cannibalism.

"Those things are more ornery than a possum on possum pie day," Clay said as he and the others watched the carnage through the windows.

"Forget Jack Spicer, we must stop the mermaid!" Omi declared. They all watched as Dyris swam into the Tunnel Armadillo with her stolen treasures in hand.

Klofange screamed and banged at the glass with a massive fist. "Let me out of this machine! She'll be gettin' away from yeh again!"

Omi put a placating hand on his shoulder. "No, my friend," he said solemnly, holding up the Serpent's Tail. "The mermaid is loose because of me. And besides, she has something of mine, and I would very much like it back! SERPENT'S TAIL!" His body turning ghostly, he fell through the metal plating of the ship and disappeared.

"Bloody hell, what is he planning?" Valerie muttered as she watched Omi swim near the Tunnel Armadillo. Unfortunately, she had to tear her eyes away from the scene when she realized that the shark robots were still committing cannibalism on the Silver Manta Ray.

Clay, who was looking out at the robots through the back window, said, "Hey, I got an idea. Glove of Jisaku!" Holding up the mitt, the magnet appeared, and suddenly the amount of shark-bots increased.

"Yeah, a bad one!" Raimundo exclaimed. "They're heading for us!"

Clay then held up a glowing mirror. "Reversing Mirror!" he shouted, and suddenly all the shark-bots, even the ones that had been eating away at them, suddenly swam away towards Jack. Apparently, Jack realized the predicament he was in, because a black stream of ink suddenly appeared out of the side of the squid sub, and the empty machine became a snack for the ravenous robots.

Everyone began cheering, until Klofange shouted, "Where's the mermaid?!"

Everyone turned to the front, where the Tunnel Armadillo was spiraling towards the surface. Omi and Dyris were clinging to it, even as the Armadillo broke through the icy blanket above them.

"We need to get to the surface!" Klofange told them.

"Can this thing even make it?" Valerie had to ask. "It took on a lot of damage."

Raimundo, who was back in the driver's seat, gritted his teeth. "We don't have much of a choice!" He then leaned forward, rapidly bringing the machine up towards the surface and through the manmade hole in the ice.

Once the Manta Ray was above water, the top slid off and everyone exited the vehicle. Valerie had just landed on the ice next to Klofange when she heard the last of Omi's declaration: "Whoever steals the other's Wu first wins, and we play it on dry land!"

"YOU FOOL!" Klofange roared. "You can't let her out of the water! On dry land she turns to her true monstrous form!"

Valerie could only watch in silent horror as Dyris, the beautiful, manipulative mermaid, suddenly grew in size, towering over Omi, her flesh turning to ugly gray scales. Her blue tail turned a sickening green color. Her blond hair fell off her head, revealing a gray bald scalp. Her blue eyes turned black and beady and utterly lifeless.

"How bad could she be?" Omi asked guilelessly.

Dyris roared, revealing rows upon rows of tiny, sharp teeth. Valerie could feel her blood chill, her spine tingling, her brain refusing to compute. What little thought process she had left turned into a tirade of what the fuck what is this what is going on.

Omi turned to look. "Oh, that bad."

"Dude, how are you not more freaked out?!" she exclaimed, her hands pulling at her hair.

Omi just shrugged.

"Okay, you know what?! I'm done!" Valerie threw up her hands. "I'm fucking done!"

"What?" Omi asked.

"This is bullshit! This is fucking bullshit!"

"Val, are you okay?" Clay asked, alarmed.

"What. Is. This?!" She pointed to the monstrous form of Dyris. "What is my life?!"

"Val, calm down!" Kimiko cried out, making a placating gesture with her hands.

"Seriously, Val, this isn't the end of the world!" Raimundo told her. "Or it won't be if Omi wins the Showdown!"

Valerie sent a quick glare at Raimundo before turning to Kimiko. "I appreciate it, but look at what we're dealing with, man!" She pointed at monster Dyris. "You gotta draw the line somewhere! You gotta draw the fucking line in the sand, dude! You gotta make a statement! You gotta look inside yourself and say, 'what am I willing to put up with today?'"

Valerie turned fully to Dyris, who was simply staring at her in what could only be perceived as shock. "I can put up with a murderous Dojo, evil snowmen, Wuya at full power, even the freaking prince of darkness himself! I can put up with that! I'm willing to put up with all that today!" Pointing an accusing finger at Dyris, she shouted, "BUT NOT. FUCKING. THIS!"

Her final statement echoed inside the chamber, repeating itself over and over again until it slowly faded out. Valerie panted heavily, her pale face an ugly shade of red, steam rising from her head. No one dared to speak…

Except Klofange. "Believe it or not, her reaction is normal."

Throwing up her hands, Valerie yelled, "I'll be in the Manta Ray! Tell me when this fucking Showdown's over!" With that, she hoped back into the ship and curled into a ball, closing her eyes as the white light washed over her.

Literally not even a minute later

Apparently, manipulative mermaids didn't make for warriors, especially in their weaker form. Omi won the Showdown in under a minute, a first for everyone, and they were all congratulating him.

Klofange turned to her and asked, "Feeling better?"

"Not really," she seethed.

The hunter patted her on the head. "Your reaction is not uncommon. Lesser men have died from the shock."

Valerie was about to retort back, when suddenly monster Dyris loomed over them with a blood curling scream. Pushing aside the monks, Klofange faced the creature with his multi-purpose trident and roared, "Avast ye, beast!" Dyris lifted her gray arms and screamed again. "Now you've got business to settle with Klofange!"

Lifting his trident, he released explosive spiked balls at the monster, the bombs detonating in a flash of red fire. When Dyris dodged, Klofange leaped into the fray, creating a whip out of his trident and ensnaring the beast around its neck. As it flailed and screeched, the icy chamber began to collapse around them, patches of snow falling from the ceiling.

Omi ran up to help, but Klofange cried out, "No, little hunter! You know how it must end for me and the beast!"

Clay quickly took Omi's arm and led him away, the little monk still staring right into the eyes of the mermaid hunter. The chamber shook faster, bits of the ceiling falling and falling, enveloping both beast and man until neither could be seen through the white fog, only heard.

Valerie quickly pulled Omi into the Silver Manta Ray, hearing the sounds of Klofange roaring as the glass pane closed over them. Quickly exiting the chamber, they could only watch helplessly as the glacier collapsed entirely, taking Klofange and the beast with it.

"Farewell, brave warrior," Omi said solemnly as the others closed their eyes.

I wanted to add the ending scene with Jack, but it really didn't fit with the tragic end of Klofange the mermaid hunter. After Val's freak out, I felt I should end this chapter on a more somber note.

Concerning Valerie and her rant, well, it's not exactly a surprise. You could see her getting more and more frustrated as the chapters went on. Apparently monster Dyris pushed her over the edge. (And no, I haven't seen Game Grumps; I've just heard this rant so many times that I had to include it. It's freaking hilarious.) And believe me, this isn't going to be the only time Valerie gets this explosive...

So, thoughts anyone?