Author Notes: Thank you to everyone for the comments, etc. As always, you make this writing malarkey so much more interesting and fun. I hope you continue to enjoy my story...

Laying back down on the camp bed, Jane closed her eyes. The ghost of Maura's lips lingered over her mouth, tickling her skin, toying with her mind. She ran her fingers across her lips, making sure that she was imagining it. She should not have kissed Maura. She knew that. Maura probably knew that too. Not least because they were really close friends, but also because of her relationship with Silver. No matter how short a time they'd been together, nor how long she intended their relationship to continue.

She reached across the room in the dark, fumbling with the open suitcase beside her in search of her cellphone. Pulling it close, she quickly found Silver's number and pressed the call button.

Time difference confused her, especially at such a late hour. She hoped Silver was on the right side of midnight.

"Hey."

Regret. Guilt. Sadness. Hearing Silver's voice sent her mind into overdrive. She loved Maura, in all the ways that were acceptable. Anything else didn't matter, couldn't matter. Not then. Not in that moment.

"I wanted to hear your voice," Jane said, lying back against her pillow and closing her eyes. In the darkness, all that mattered was her voice. If she pushed everything else away long enough, she could forget the niggling feeling that the regret and guilt were not meant for Silver.

"I'm glad you called. I can't believe you went to England for Maura."

"She needed me."

"I know," Silver's voice faded into silence. Jane opened her mouth to speak but words escaped her. "That's why I think I'm falling in love with you. The things you do for the people you care about, you haven't done it for me but I still feel grateful that you did it."

Jane attempted to clear her throat, to push away the lump building up. She swiped at her cheek as a couple of tears rolled down her face, tickling her ear.

"Some days I think I'm falling for you too."

She squeezed her eyes tightly shut. Why did she say that? Why did she speak without thinking of the repercussions? Some days she did feel like Silver could be someone special, not because she fell harder, but because Silver was a wonderful person. If she could let go of whatever it was stopping her from actually committing, maybe she could allow herself to fall. Maybe she could allow herself the happiness she'd evaded for so long.

Then she thought of Maura, and she felt even guiltier.

"It's late, I should sleep," Jane said. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Call me again soon," Silver said. "I miss you."

"I miss you too."

Lowering her cell phone back onto her suitcase, Jane rolled onto her side. The deceptive feeling of lips on hers returned. She wrapped her fists tightly around the bed sheets. She needed to sleep. She needed to push aside whatever it was going through her mind, before it consumed her.

x

The next morning, Maura sat at a small table in the garden, nursing a mug of coffee. The sun had barely risen. Maura watched a robin dance about on the patio. The earthy scent of heavy rain lingered in the air. Maura sipped her coffee, hoping it would hold her consciousness long enough to get through the day. Despite the somewhat confusing end to her night, Maura had drifted off quickly once Jane left the room. She didn't know how, and on waking up, pushed all thoughts aside in favour of a new day. She had enough to worry about without thinking about that moment, without dwelling on things she could not control. Knowing Jane, she would not want to discuss the matter either, and that suited her just fine.

"Morning," Cailin said, carrying a mug of coffee out and standing beside her.

"Good morning Cailin," Maura said, smiling softly. She patted the chair beside her and Cailin sat down. "Did you have any plans for today? I thought we could spend some time together."

"I have to visit the undertaker," Cailin said. "We need to finalise the funeral arrangements."

"May I come?"

Cailin nodded. "She was your mother too."

"I'm sure we both agree that I have no claim to the label of daughter."

"One thing I'm starting to learn," Cailin said, placing her mug on the table. "Is that it doesn't matter who we are to someone, it's how we treat each other that's important."

"Hope and I could have spent more time together."

Cailin leaned forward and cupped her hands around her coffee mug, resting on the table. "Hope could have spent more time with a lot of people, myself included. I know she loved me, that's what really matters."

"I'm not sure I can even consider that a fact," Maura said, pouring the last mouthful of coffee into her mouth. She watched the robin hop across the lawn. She swallowed. "We didn't know each other very well."

Cailin forged a smile. "Mom loved you, she might not have said it, or showed it, but she loved you."

"How can you be so sure?"

"She talked about you all the time. That article that was published about your work, she got it framed and hung in her office. She bought a couple dozen physical copies and handed them out to anyone who would accept one."

"Oh." The crease between Maura's eyebrows deepened. "I didn't realise."

"I know we haven't exactly seen eye to eye," Cailin said. "But I could really use your support this week. I don't care if you think Hope didn't love you, or if you think it's not right to consider yourself her daughter. You are my sister, and right now you're the only family I have."

x

"The undertaker seemed nice," Maura said, sitting down.

Cailin placed their tray of drinks on the table and sat down opposite Maura. "He's been very kind."

"Do you come here a lot?" Maura asked. "It's a lovely coffee house."

"Not really."

Focusing her attention on the cup of coffee in front of her, Maura sipped the hot liquid. She glanced around the room, all too aware of the uncomfortable silence that settled between them. Cailin and Maura were effectively strangers. They'd shared a couple of dinners at Hope's, but they had very different lives, and Maura didn't quite know how to change that.

"I hope Jane didn't mind you coming today," Cailin said, wrapping her hands around her cup.

"Not at all," Maura said. She slid her hands under the table and clasped them together. The busy morning had allowed her a moment's reprieve from even thinking about Jane. The mere mention of her created the most intense physical image of her in her mind, of her lips pressed against hers, that a breath caught in her throat. Maura pushed the thought aside as best as she could. "Jane will be fine."

"You two still seem pretty close."

"We are." Perhaps too close. She didn't know what last night meant, and knowing Jane's ability to ignore things, she wasn't sure she'd ever get to find out. All she knew was that the moment passed by so quickly and yet somehow left an imprint that felt the size of Jupiter. Not that that was possible. "She's a very dear friend."

"She must think a lot of you to travel all this way."

"I suppose so."

Cailin raised her cup to her mouth, then placed it down on the table. "You don't sound so convinced."

"It's not that," Maura said.

"What is it then?"

"I, I don't know what to say."

Cailin raised an eyebrow and sat up a little straighter in her chair. "You can talk to me, if you want. I won't tell her what you've said."

"Jane kissed me last night."

Cailin's face cracked, her lips curved at the edges and she let out a bellowing laugh. Maura frowned, pursing her lips. She felt entirely uncomfortable, to the point where she felt like standing up and walking out of the coffee house.

"I'm sorry," Cailin said, running her fingers across the table. "I didn't mean to sound so…judgemental."

Words escaped her. Maura looked into her eyes, waiting for her to continue, hoping that she would fill the silence before it completely returned.

"When we visited you in Boston years ago and we had dinner with you and Jane, I was sure there was something going on, but Mom said I was talking rubbish. I wasn't, was I?"

Maura sighed. "Jane and I have never been in a relationship. Until recently Jane identified as being heterosexual, so I'm not sure what you thought was going on, but it was inaccurate."

"I don't mean that something was going on like you were in a relationship. I mean that it seemed like you were really close, like really close. Her mother cooked us dinner."

"Angela is a friend, and Jane has never showed any interest in me, not in that way."

"You said it was only recently that she stopped identifying as heterosexual?"

"Yes."

"Is it possible that while identifying as something other than straight, she's also realised she has feelings for you?"

"No." Maura shook her head. "We're friends. She has never shown an interest in me."

"Except when she kissed you."

"Yes, except when she kissed me."

"Maura," Cailin said, leaning forward. "She flew halfway around the world so she could be with you at Mom's funeral. That's not something that friends usually do."

"Why not?"

"Mom was right, you really can be obtuse about some things."

Maura frowned. "Should I be offended by that?"

"No, I didn't mean it like that. I mean that you just don't see that what Jane did isn't ordinary."

"Are you saying you think she did it because she wants to be in a relationship with me?"

"I'm saying I think she's in love with you."

Something heavy settled in the pit of her stomach. She tried to swallow but her throat was too dry. Not once since Jane kissed her, did Maura consider that Jane was harbouring feelings for her.

"Do you have any evidence to support that hypothesis?" Maura asked, struggling to get her mind around the suggestion.

"You're just like Mom," Cailin said. "Always wanting some sort of proof."

"Do you have any additional evidence?"

"I don't know you both well enough. The question is, how do you feel about Jane?"

"She's my friend."

"I got that," Cailin said. "But how you feel about her kissing you?"

"I don't know." She honestly didn't. The thought of what happened refused to vacate the space it took up in her brain. She was very fond of Jane, she meant a lot to her. She had never even entertained the consideration of anything more.

"How do you feel about women?"

"In which way?"

Cailin rolled her eyes. "As sexual objects. Have you ever been attracted to another woman?"

"Of course."

Cailin raised an eyebrow. "Of course? You say that like it's obvious. Why didn't I know that?"

"I don't see the need to label oneself when we're all sexual beings. I've never seen anything wrong with being attracted to someone from the same sex. A person is a person, and they are who I fall for, not their gender."

"You're kidding me, right?" Cailin asked. "You're completely fluid and yet you've never considered a relationship with the person you're closest to?"

"She's my friend."

"Who is in love with you."

"You don't know that."

"No. I don't. But I'd happily place a bet."

Maura shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Jane and I are just really good friends."

"Sure you are," Cailin said.

"Perhaps instead of discussing my friendship with Jane, we should be discussing the music for the funeral."

Cailin sighed and stared down at the table. The previously jovial environment quickly shifted into morose and tense. Maura regretted it the moment she saw how sad Cailin looked.

"You know what, Maura? It was just really fucking nice to not have to think about that, for five minutes."

Pushing her chair back, Cailin placed her cup down on the table and stood up. With barely a glance, and before Maura could react, she marched out of the coffee house.

x

The night sky was full of stars, Jane sat at the table, her cell phone in hand as she watched the world go by. She listened intently to every word that Silver said, outlining her day, sharing with her the inner workings of her mind. Yet every word drifted away, disappearing into the sky, lost to her thoughts. The door opened and Maura stepped onto the patio. She folded her arms across her chest, waved a hand up to Jane, then walked out across the garden.

"I have to go," Jane said, interrupting Silver's story.

"Oh."

Jane sighed. "I'm sorry. We're about to eat."

The lie came easier than Jane ever imagined possible. Once the pleasantries were out of the way, she placed her phone on the table and walked across the garden. She stopped beside Maura, her bare feet merged with the grass. They'd barely seen each other since the night before. The memory still fresh in mind.

"We should talk," Maura said.

Jane stared down at her feet as she kicked at the grass. "There's nothing to say."

"I beg to differ."

"I was tired," Jane said. "I was trying to comfort you."

"I wasn't upset in that moment."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I do."

"You might want to, but you can't make me, Maura. I told you there's nothing to say."

"Okay."

The tightness in Maura's voice hurt. She didn't like to cause such friction between them. She wanted to be there for her; her actions the night before had caused issue with that.

"How was the visit to the undertaker?" Jane asked.

"He was very kind." Maura pursed her lips. "How did you spend your day?"

A lightness infiltrated Jane's voice, threatening to push down her resolve. "You'd be proud of me, I went to a library and a book store."

"You visited the Bodleian Library?" Maura asked, her mouth dropped. "Without me?"

"I'm sorry," Jane said, turning to face Maura. "I thought of you the entire time. Have you ever been?"

"Once," Maura said, turning toward her. "Hope and I visited a few years ago."

"It's amazing, isn't it? I don't think I've ever seen so many books before."

Maura laughed, the gentle sound of her voice trailed off into the darkness. She'd never noticed it before, the way it sounded. It was as familiar as her own fingers, yet she'd never really thought about what it sounded like.

"I never thought we'd have a conversation like this," Maura said. "You amaze me in ways I never thought would be possible."

"I still don't like reading," Jane said, smiling. "It's good hear you laugh, though."

Maura held her arms tightly around her front, a slight chatter to her voice. "I don't know whether to laugh or cry most of the time."

"I'd choose laughter," Jane said, reaching a hand out to her cheek. It felt too intimate, so she lowered it quickly to her arm, then pulled back equally as fast. "Sorry."

"You can touch me, Jane," Maura said. "I'm not going to think anything more of it than the friendship you've offered me over the last several years."

Her shoulders sunk, and she didn't really know why. She felt sad, and despondent. She tried to imagine Silver, and the relationship they'd been building. She tried to push away all thoughts of Maura, but they just wouldn't go away.

"How's Cailin?" she asked, diverting the conversation in the only direction she could think of.

"I think I upset her," Maura said.

"I wouldn't take it personally."

"No." Maura turned away and stared up at the night's sky.

"Maybe once the funeral's over, we could go to the library again," Jane said, focusing her attention back on the stars.

"That'd be nice."

x

"Could we talk?" Maura asked, standing in the doorway to Hope's bedroom.

Cailin placed a hair brush down on the dresser and walked over to the bed. She perched on the edge and motioned for Maura to join her.

"I'm sorry about earlier today."

"No, I'm sorry," Cailin said. "It's not your fault. I was pushing you and you obviously didn't want to talk. It's only natural you wanted to divert away from that. It's just harder than I ever thought it'd be, losing Mom."

Maura nodded and reached out for Cailin's hand. "You're still so young, to lose your mother, I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to lose her at your age."

Leaning forward, Cailin hunched over, her shoulders shook gently as tears strolled down her face. "I thought we had more time. We were starting to build a relationship, after everything that happened, we were in a good place. Now I have nobody."

"I know," Maura said. She trailed a hand across Cailin's back and wrapped her up in her embrace. "I know. But you're not alone, I promise you that. I'm here for you, Cailin. I know I've made mistakes, I'm so sorry for that. I should have stayed in contact, I should have been here for you. I'm here now."

x

"Cailin okay?" Jane asked as Maura walked past the office door. She stood up and tossed a tshirt back onto her open suitcase.

Maura nodded, her heart heavy with every breath. "She will be, no doubt it'll take some time."

"You're a good sister to her, Maura."

She stared down and entered the room, closing the door behind her. The last twenty-four hours had really taken its toll. Aside from everything with Jane, her relationship with her sister was still fragile. "I don't feel much like I am. I let her down. I spent years wishing for a family and when I had one handed to me, I wasted the opportunity."

"You live in different countries, it's not all your fault."

"I could have tried harder. Cailin said something earlier that resonated with me. She said she thought she had more time. I always thought I had more time too; I put it off. I put finding a partner off, having a family, too. Maybe next month, maybe next year."

Jane stepped across her suitcase and sat down on the edge of the camp bed. "I guess we don't know how long we have, we think we've got time but then it all goes."

"I don't want to waste any more time," Maura said.

"With what?"

"Having a family."

"You want to try again?"

"Yes."