Author Notes: Thank you for all of the comments, favs and follows. I really appreciate knowing that so many people are interested in my story. I hope you continue to enjoy it with this chapter.

Doleful music followed them out of the crematorium. Maura slipped an arm around Cailin's shoulder and they stood, accepting the sympathies of friends and acquaintances of Hope. As the group of mourners dispersed, heading off in the direction of the parking lot, Maura caught Jane's eye. She lingered behind the remaining couple of people, her eyes fixed on Maura's. She breathed in slowly, accepted the sympathies of the man and woman who knew Hope from work. Then Jane stepped forward.

"It was a lovely service," she said, squeezing Maura's hand tightly. Where most people would let go, Jane clung to Maura's fingers.

"Thank you for being here," Maura said, thankful for the physical contact. "It means a lot that you could come all this way."

"'Course," Jane said. She reached her other hand out to Cailin's shoulder. "I'm so sorry about Hope."

"Thank you," she said, swiping at a couple of tears strolling along previously formed paths.

"You were so brave to get up there and speak."

Sniffing, Cailin stood up a little taller. "There was nobody else."

"Still," Jane said. "I couldn't do it."

"Shall we go?" Maura asked, pulling her arm tighter around Cailin's shoulder. "I'm sure we could all use a drink."

x

Pressing down on the suitcase, Jane slid the zipper around the edge until it wouldn't move. She groaned and pushed the edge of a pair of pants further into the case. When the zipper wouldn't move again, she turned around and sat down on the lid, squashing everything inside. The zipper finally moved all the way around.

"Ah-ha!" she shouted, standing up and fist pumping the air.

"You forgot the clothes you're wearing," Maura said, smirking as she leaned against the door frame.

"Bollocks," Jane said.

"Bollocks?"

"It's British."

Maura smirked. "Where did you pick that up from?"

"Uncle Bill."

"Who, pray tell, is Uncle Bill?"

"Not a clue. The old guy who offered me a cigar."

Maura raised her eyebrows. "When did this happen?"

"I think you were talking to Cailin," Jane said. "I almost accepted, then he commented on my tits so I slapped him."

"Jane!"

"What? He deserved it, the dirty old man. Probably isn't even an uncle."

In the silence, Maura looked away, her eyes absent of the light that Jane was so used to seeing there. She stood up and closed the gap.

"You okay?"

"It's been a long day," Maura said, toneless. "Are you all packed?"

"Except for these," Jane said. "You?"

"No."

Jane's eyes narrowed, she reached the back of her hand out to Maura's forehead. "You must be getting sick."

The weak smile barely reached Maura's eyes. "I don't want to leave her."

"I know." Jane sighed, she lowered her hand to Maura's shoulder. "But she's an adult, she'll be okay."

"She doesn't have anybody else, Jane."

"So ask her to come back to Boston."

Maura frowned. "I can't ask her to do that."

"It's a question, Maura, it's not a demand. She can decide for herself if it's what she wants. But if you're that worried about her, it's a way to show her she's not alone."

"I'll consider it."

x

Tears soaked into the edge of the pillow. Maura clung to it, her arms wrapped tightly around the material. She pushed her face into a damp patch, but nothing helped. She gasped for air as the tears took control. She pushed the pillow away, tossed the bed sheets off her body and lay there, staring up at the ceiling, struggling for breath. She slid off the bed and out into the hallway, the tears never faltering. At the end of the hallway, she tapped on the office door and waited. A moment later the door opened and Jane stared at her, her hair dishevelled and her eyes squinting. She rubbed at them.

"Maur?" She opened her eyes wider. "What's wrong?"

"Hope," she whispered, fighting for breath once more.

Jane stepped toward her and scooped her up into her arms, wrapping them tightly around her. She clung to her, desperately in need for her comfort. She pressed her face to her neck, the sweet smell of her body filled her senses.

"Come here," Jane said, pulling her into the room and closing the door. She ran her hands across her back, her bare skin tingled under the touch, toying with Maura's mind.

She pulled out of Jane's arms momentarily, her eyes travelled up to Jane's, staring deep into her brown orbs. Familiarity. Her home was housed in that look. Wherever Jane was, she felt safe. She was the only person she could rely on, and it had been that way for a long time. The only person in her life who had ever really mattered was Jane. A breath caught in her throat. She reached out and trailed her fingers across Jane's lips.

"What are you doing, Maura?" she asked, her eyebrows narrowed.

"I don't know," she said, leaning forward, pressing her lips to Jane's. In the moment, it felt right, like she was supposed to kiss her. When Jane reacted, Maura deepened the kiss, tangling her fingers up in Jane's curls. The feel of her mouth merging with her own filled her with something she couldn't quite describe. All she knew was that it felt right. Despite the previously platonic nature to their relationship, nothing about it felt wrong.

Pressing her hands to Maura's shoulders, Jane pushed her back. "We can't."

"Why not?"

Tears formed in her eyelids, gathering together until they spilled over and down her cheeks. Maura swiped at her face, brushing away fresh tear.

"Look at you, you're upset." Jane reached out to cup her face, then thought better of it. She lowered her hands to her sides. "I won't take advantage."

She didn't know why she was crying. The mixture of emotions spilled out over her cheekbones. Thoughts of sadness over Hope and Cailin merged with disappointment over Jane. A feeling she didn't expect, nor knew what to do with.

"I just need you, Jane."

"Then Silver." She breathed heavily, her face still so close that every breath tickled Maura's skin. "I can't do this to Silver."

"Oh."

Despite the small space between them, Jane's hands still gripped the sides of Maura's shoulders, holding her steady. She felt a tumbled mess of confusion. Maybe she shouldn't have kissed Jane, though it still didn't feel entirely wrong. Silver was a valid contributing factor, and one that she knew she couldn't ignore. As much as she wanted to.

"I don't want to be alone."

"You're not," Jane said, sliding her hands up and down Maura's shoulders. "I'm here, I'm always here, but not like this. We're friends, don't let your grief confuse you. Don't let me stupidly kissing you make you think there's something here that isn't."

Maura sighed, deep down she knew that what Jane said made sense. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I can't sleep in that room," Maura said, lowering her gaze.

"You wanna stay here?"

Maura nodded. Jane pulled her towards the small camp bed and watched her as she lay down on it. She wasn't ready to leave Hope's home. She wasn't ready to get on with life. Not really. It hurt too much to think about everything. Jane stepped away, but Maura tugged her back, not letting go of her hand.

"Stay with me, please."

"I was gonna sleep in the other room," Jane said.

"I know I shouldn't ask this of you," Maura said, staring up into Jane's eyes, letting her see every ounce of emotion inside of herself. "Please stay with me, here."

Scooting over a little, Jane climbed onto the tiny bed, squashing into what little space there was left.

Maura wrapped herself around her and pushed her face back against the familiar smelling skin she loved. "I just need to feel you close. Is this okay?"

"It's never not okay."

"Thank you," she whispered, clinging to her as a fresh wave of tears took hold.

x

Once the bags were loaded into the trunk of the cab, Maura wrapped her arms around Cailin's shoulders and held her tightly. She glanced behind her to Jane, who watched them, before Maura caught her eye. She looked away. Maura pulled out of Cailin's arms and stepped back.

"You are growing into a wonderful person, and I just know that Hope would be so proud of you," she said, trailing her hands down to Cailin's. "Please, don't be a stranger. Call me any time, day or night, and as we discussed over breakfast, you're welcome to come and stay, for as long as you wish."

Holding back tears, Cailin nodded. "Thank you, for coming, for everything."

"Always," Maura said, wiping the fresh tears that escaped Cailin's eyes away until she cupped her cheeks. "Family will always come first."

"Call me when you land," Cailin said, her chest heaved with a heavy breath when Maura stepped away. The tears increased until her shoulder's shook with great gasping sobs.

"I'm sorry," Maura said, pulling her back into her arms. "I shouldn't be going, I'm so sorry that I have to."

"I understand why," she said.

Maura's heart broke with every movement of Cailin's body, every tear that fell flooded her heart with sadness and she doubted her reasons for leaving. Work did not matter enough, the pre-paid airfare paled in comparison to the suffering it caused.

"I could stay."

"No." Cailin shook her head. "I'll be okay. I'm going to miss you, but I'm going to be okay."

She stepped back, letting go of Maura's hand, as she put space between them. Maura watched her, cautiously aware of every movement she made. She hugged Jane, then stepped to one side to allow them both access to the cab.

"Look after her," Cailin said, her eyes narrowed a little in Jane's direction.

"I will," Jane said, running her hand along Cailin's shoulder. "You should visit soon, and if money's an issue, I'm sure we can work something out, right Maura?"

She nodded. "I'll pay."

Cailin rubbed at her eyes. "You should go before you miss your flight."

Jane opened the door and slid into the back seat. Maura hesitated, her eyes still fixed on Cailin. She shook her head. It hurt too much. After everything, she didn't think she'd ever feel that way about her sister. Now everything had changed. She stepped forward again and kissed her lightly on the forehead.

"I love you."

"I love you too," Cailin said, clutching her hand momentarily until Maura pulled it away and slid into the cab beside Jane.

She closed the door and wave through the window, her whole body felt like it was going to break as the cab set off and Cailin disappeared out of sight. She tried to stay calm, to focus on each and every breath, but the further they got from the house, the more fractured her breaths became.

"You'll see her soon," Jane said, grasping at her hand.

Maura clung to it. "I know."

x

"You really didn't have to pay for an upgrade," Jane said, taking her seat across the aisle from Maura.

"I wanted to."

"I didn't mind sitting in economy."

"Why should you have to sit in economy when I have the money for business class?"

Jane stared into Maura's eyes, hoping that the exact reason why she didn't think it was a good idea would pass across the void through some sort of osmosis. Maura looked back, as confused as she had been a moment ago. Jane stared harder.

"What is it, Jane?" she asked, exasperated.

She shook her head. "Nevermind."

She didn't dare bring it up. Not unless Maura actually understood, without her prompt, what she was trying to say. The kiss had stayed with her for longer than she'd anticipated, even longer than the one she'd accidentally made happen. When she kissed Maura, it was brief, it was barely anything. When Maura kissed Jane, it was tender, and deep; something much more substantial.

"I hope they haven't changed the movie list," she said, fastening her seatbelt and pulling out the entertainment system.

Before she had never considered Maura an option. She wasn't an option. They were friends. She didn't even acknowledge the feelings she still harboured for women, not for a long time had she truly let herself feel the things that went on deep down inside. She'd gotten so good at hiding it, at pushing it down, she almost forgot what it was like to feel something for another woman.

Except Silver.

It was so difficult to see her relationship anymore. Deep down she knew that Maura was fragile, that she was unlikely to be thinking clearly, and as a result of her stupidity, maybe she was confusing that with Jane's recent coming out. Not that she even knew what she was coming out as. It wasn't that she didn't have feelings for Casey, or Dean. She loved them both, in some way, at some point in time.

"Maur?" Jane asked, several questions on the tip of her tongue.

"Yes?"

In an instant the questions vanished, dispersed in favour of some other time, another place. She smiled. "Are you okay?"

"I'm…getting there," she said. "I imagine once I'm back at work I'll feel better."

"You know where I am."

"I do."

She slipped her headphones over her ears and focused on the list of movies. She could pretend that Maura kissing her didn't matter, she could hide behind the idea that Maura didn't really know what she was doing, or imagine she was confused. But underneath it all, Jane knew what she'd always felt deep down.

Love.

She had a vague memory of the early days of their friendship, when they were just work colleagues who planned to do something outside of work but never did. A vague recollections of thoughts that passed through her inhospitable mind demanding to be heard. Thoughts of a woman who talked about facts like they were snippets of passion, who could barely look her in the eye if she looked at her the wrong way, who she thought for the briefest moment that if things were different she would want to see what could happen between them.

She turned back to Maura, so focused in the medical journal she was still working through. She nibbled the end of a pen, scribbling brief notes in the corner of the page.

She smiled again, her eyelids fluttered, and her heart raced inside her chest. When exactly she had fallen for her, she didn't know. All she knew was that now, despite knowing that Maura was probably confused, she was so deep in it that she couldn't even see the surface anymore.

x

On the drive back from the airport, Jane sat up straight, her eyes ahead. An uncomfortable feeling settled within her. She didn't know how to act anymore. She didn't know if it was tiredness from travelling, or jetlag, or maybe she just didn't know how to deal with the fact that she loved Maura and she doubted just how deeply Maura felt back.

"Would you like to come back to my house?" Maura asked.

"No," Jane said, her voice colder than she intended. "Gonna go to bed."

"You should probably stay awake a few more hours, to get back into a proper routine."

Jane scoffed. "When have I ever had a proper routine? I get woken up at three in the morning to go look at a dead body."

Maura smiled. "That being so, to avoid the effects of jetlag, it's better to align yourself with the time zone in which you're in."

"Nah." Jane shrugged. "I just wanna sleep."

"You can stay in the spare room," Maura said.

"I want to go home."

"Okay."

Silence fell between them. Jane stole a glance at Maura, the look of disappointment in her eyes saddened her. She couldn't do it. She couldn't say yes. She needed space. After spending so long with her, she needed time away. To recollect her thoughts, and try to make sense of everything that had happened. Even if that meant disappointing Maura.

x

The difficulties Maura had had with social skills over the years meant she'd fought harder to understand them. That was why she knew exactly why Jane didn't want to come back to her house. Or at least, she thought she did. Since leaving Oxford, something had shifted. They were as friendly and cordial as ever on the flight, but the second they touched down at Logan International Airport, something changed.

"You're back!" Angela said, scooping Maura into her arms. She dropped her purse on the floor and succumbed to the comfort of her embrace. "Where's Jane?"

"At her apartment."

"What's she doing there?" she asked. "I wanted to see her."

"She was tired."

"She could sleep here."

"That's what I said."

"Must have wanted to catch up with Silver, I bet," Angela said, wiggling her eyebrows.

The thought had crossed her mind, then she pushed it away. She didn't know how she felt about that. Silver was a nice person, that much she knew. There was absolutely no reason why she should feel even an ounce of jealousy. Jane was right, she was just confused. Yet it lingered in the pit of her stomach like a tumour.

"Probably," she said.

"Would you like a coffee?" Angela asked, picking up the coffee pot. "I wanna hear all about Oxford. Did the funeral go okay?"

"The service was wonderful."

Maura sat at the counter, watching Angela as she made up a fresh batch of coffee. She asked questions, and Maura answered them. The usual exchange faded away with each and every word, as though her mind could no longer hold information. She felt tiredness lingering in her brain, and wished she wasn't so stringent about such things as evading jetlag. No doubt Jane would probably already be sleeping. She sat up a little straight, forcing her eyes open fully, as she continued to listen to Angela.

x

Unlocking the door to her apartment, Jane pushed her suitcase across the floor and dropped it beside the couch. She rubbed at her eyes, her arms slouched down in front of her as she trailed through toward the bedroom like a Neanderthal. When she opened the door, she stared a little wider.

"Silver, what you doing here?"

"When you said you were home I thought I'd come over."

"Oh."

"Is that okay?"

Jane looked into her eyes. Silver lay on the bed, wearing little more than her underwear, she stared back, her lip tucked seductively under her teeth.

"Fine," Jane said, stepping forward.

However deeply she felt for Maura, she still felt something for Silver. They were still in a relationship. Jane threw herself down on the bed beside her. When she rested a hand on Silver's thigh, she leaned forward, closing the gap between them. Capturing her mouth, Silver lifted herself up and over Jane, straddling her. She lay back against the bedsheets, her mind tangled up with the need to quench her most basic desires, battling against the need for sleep.

"I've missed you," Silver said, peppering kisses along her collarbone, fighting fabric for access to her skin.

"Missed you too."

Jane lay under her, submissive to her every touch, to her lips trailing across every inch of her body. She undressed her slowly, teasing her with every item of clothing gone. Jane reacted to her touch, her breathing laboured. She lifted her hips to meet Silver's touch, a moan escaped her lips. She didn't fight it, she just let it happen, until all she could feel was the intensity of her orgasm followed by her mind shutting down completely.

Author Notes: Before you all get mad at me for Jane/Silver, there really is a lot for both Jane and Maura to sort out in their brains before they're going to be able to even think about being together. It would be unrealistic for Jane to jump Maura when she's in such a vulnerable place, even if Maura wanted her to, and so did my brain (camp bed sex didn't happen :( ). Jane needs to deal with everything whilst still being in a relationship with Silver, so give her some time.