The other night proved to be healing to both Clarke and Lexa; things are much better. They are finally speaking to each other a little more freely, a less guarded than before.

Lexa's slowly coming out of her shell again; attending lessons and training with the natblida regularly, Heda and Lexa becoming their balanced self once more.

The only thing is, she still feels off; she feels an odd sense of foreboding that refuses to leave her. She considers it being due to the tasks she set before herself that she has yet to complete, the most prominent being killing Ontari.

Sometimes, on the tower roof meditating she will find herself trying to distance herself from the situation completely, if only to find an escape, to find a little silence from her own mind. The constant threats, the stress, and the exhaustion are also causing her mind not to rest when she sleeps and she hasn't told anyone exactly what kind of dreams plague her.

For many nights, after the city was attacked, it was nightmarish memories of loss. And then, since Clarke and Lexa reconciled and found their way back to each other, as soon as she felt the littlest bit lighter, the dreams shifted.

Lexa wakes at odd times during the nights, forcing herself to escape her newfound nightmares. Nightmares from memories she's never experienced before, touched by a life she knows nothing about, doesn't recognize in the slightest. She wakes, only to fall back into the dream minutes later, when she can fall back to sleep at all that is.

Lexa's experienced many dream memories before, some through the commanders before her, and of course through Alex, but these feel different in a way she isn't quite sure how to articulate. It seems she falls asleep with Clarke, only for her mind to wander elsewhere, to connect to someone she knows relatively nothing about, other than what she learns in glimpses. It's always brief, she's never there for long, but travels in and out. Her dream memories before seemed to make sense, to take her on a path to understanding, last longer, but these ones, these do nothing of the sort. They're a jumbled mess, no timeline to follow, no rules to the images she's experiencing and never happening all in one shot, no, to make matters better, she falls in and out of the images to a blank black space multiple times throughout a night.

If it weren't for the intense emotions the dreams pull from her she would consider a large part of these nightmares to be the product of her worrisome imagination, which only makes this all the more confusing to her. Though she doesn't understand, she feels the emotions like they are her own. At the very least, she can empathize with the pain and fear she's experiencing. Can empathize with the need for understanding, for comfort, and for human contact.

That she understands very well.

But It is one particular evening of such nightmares that Lexa can't take it anymore. One particular evening where she refuses to be taken any further, to lose what little control she feels she has left.

One evening, where she and heda fight back.

She forces herself to get a grip, to try and steer the direction of the dream to pull her mind back. Slowly, she begins to feel the separation; feels her vision become like a tunnel until all around her is black except for a light at the end and the silhouette of a young woman within it.

Lexa begins to look around wildly for any other markers other than the woman and the light. She begins to hear strange music, a song she's never heard before, a song that she finds herself drawing comfort from regardless. She looks back to the woman, who also seems to be experiencing and doing the same thing.

Even from this distance, Lexa can sense her confusion, and it makes her pause in thought.

If she is as confused as Lexa, she wasn't the one controlling this, and if she wasn't calling out to Lexa then Lexa must have been calling out to her. But why? And how? How do you call to someone you don't even know exists, how is she able to contact someone, through whatever means, without knowing who they even are...

Lexa tries to call out to her just as a gust of wind steals her voice. She braces against the force of the wind before trying to push forwards. She bows her head, raises her left arm in front of her face and pushes onwards. She struggles for every inch.

The wind quickens and pushes harder against her the farther she gets. It drowns out the whispers and music and she blinks against her now very dry eye lids. She peeks out periodically behind her arm to find the woman getting closer, mirroring her movements.

Every step they take the wind pushes harder; inexplicably, instead of sucking the woman towards her, it seems to be pushing against her as well. Lexa doesn't understand but refuses to leave her, refuses to leave not knowing at least something new, to understand even in the littlest bit.

Lexa shouts again, her voice seemingly being thrown back at her as it echoes in her ears, "Who are you?" And then she surprises herself, worrying in a way you would for someone you cared for all your life, "Are you okay?"

She feels the pull of the woman and the push of the wind, like she's not supposed to be here, but has to be.

It gets more forceful, more insistent that she leave the closer they get, she peeks out again and her eyes widen. She stops moving the same very instant the wind stops its violent push; Lexa reacts very little, her confusion fading minutely as she peers upon the terrified face of herself, only a few years younger and wearing modern clothes.

Alternatively, the other her, is thrown off by just about everything. She, most definitely, reacts.

Lexa sees it rapidly take over her features; it's in the way her eyes widen and lock on her face before taking in the form before her in entirety. Her mouth drops and she loses her words as a fresh fear steals her voice. The younger woman doesn't understand, has clearly never experienced something like this, it is evident in her mannerisms. As her panic floods her, Lexa finds she is reaching out in hopes to ground the both of them, but before she can touch her arm the woman pulls back.

"Wait!" Lexa shouts out before she can stop herself. "Please! I need to know who you are!" She rushes forward just as the wind picks up again and the other her stumbles away out of her reach. Lexa tries to brace against the wind just as the surroundings begin to shake violently. She finds she's being pushed backwards more forcefully than before; she grits her teeth and forces herself forwards again, chasing after the woman who keeps trying to stagger away in fear as she too is being sucked back in the direction she came.

In her stubborn determination Lexa pushes on, following the other her, needing to know what life she is from, why she's found her now, why she seems as confused as Lexa in this situation.

The only conclusion Lexa can make at the moment is that this woman lives; this is not a past life she's touched or been touched by, this is different.

Before, her other lives, past lives, drove her dreams, they were the ones who contacted her, but this seems different. It's never occurred like this, seemingly by accident. The other her doesn't seem to know her; seems afraid of seeing her even. It is abundantly clear that she had little to do with this contact. Lexa doesn't understand. She calls out again before the woman begins to run full tilt towards the light. Just as she disappears through it, Lexa lets out a startled scream as she is violently pulled backwards in the opposite direction and out of the tunnel.

She wakes, bolting upright in bed with a now rough strangled scream; part frustration, part shock. She pants heavily as the strong, warm arms immediately encompass her and soft hands stroke her hair and back in hopes to soothe her.

"Clarke," Lexa shudders out, trying to snap out of it. Coming home, finding her centre with her wife again.

"Lexa?" Clarke says, both concerned and cooing, in a way only she can, "You're okay. I'm here. You're safe."

Lexa sinks into Clarke's embrace, her clammy skin slightly sticking against Clarke's warm body. She slowly catches her breath before she can even try to open her eyes. Simply feeling grounded again, safe in Clarke's arms is all she needs. Clarke doesn't try to push anything out of her, she just patiently waits for her wife to come back to reality.

This isn't the first time this has happened after all. It's a common occurrence for the both of them, just occasionally with them each in opposite rolls.

Finally, Lexa pulls back, rises from the bed wordlessly and heads to the bathroom. She washes and changes into fresh clothes, now clothed for the day even though the sun has yet to rise because she knows she will not succumb to sleep again tonight.

When she leaves the bathroom, she finds a few candles lit on the bedside tables and Clarke, puffy eyed and sitting cross-legged on the bed, watching her with concern.

"Better?" She asks lightly.

Lexa nods slowly and sighs, "Some." She comes to the side of the bed and strokes Clarke's cheek before kissing her forehead and bringing her body closer. Clarke remains sitting, only now leaning forward slightly to lay her head on Lexa's chest, instantly sighing when she hears the now steady rhythm of her heart has returned.

"Who was it?" Clarke's muffled question comes out. Obviously picking up on Lexa's emotions and knowing this wasn't as simple as a nightmare. Knowing, to cause this reaction, the intensity of the flux of feelings alone, had to be caused by something more.

"I'm not exactly sure..." Is all Lexa can offer. She sighs, "I'm still trying to make sense of it." She begins to explain what she experienced to her wife, the wind, the tunnel, the emotions Clarke could feel coming off of her, and finally, the other her. "I think… I think I was the one who reached out to her. She didn't seem to understand what was happening either."

"You spoke to her?"

"No, not really. I tried to but she never answered, she ran. Perhaps, I am a coward in another life."

Clarke snorts and leans back to look at her skeptically, her thumbs caressing Lexa's lower back, "No. You could never be a coward." She says it so firmly, so heavy in belief, that Lexa doesn't argue with her, finds she hears the double meaning whether Clarke meant it that way or not, she hears the omitted 'in any life.' Lexa gives Clarke a small smile before kissing her head in silent thanks.

"When you reach out to Elyza what is it like?" Lexa asks coming to sit beside Clarke again.

Clarke looks off into the candles flame, she is silent a few moments before she figures out how to answer. "At first, it's black, I can't see anything. Then, it's emotions that pull me towards her, like I can locate her, really feel her almost. Then, it's silence before I see a bright light and blink to look out of her eyes…or her mind…I'm not really certain on that part."

Lexa is silent for a moment in thought, brow furrowed. what Clarke describes is somewhat like her own experience tonight, only Clarke's was more controlled. She tilts her head as she looks at her wife, "Clarke, I think I reached the me from Elyza's world."

"How?" Clarke's brows knit together, "We don't know anything about her. I was only able to find Elyza after I met Claire in the veil."

Lexa nods, "I know. That part I do not understand."

"It started the other night didn't it?" Clarke says squeezing her hand.

"Yes. Only tonight was different, I was continuously moving in and out of that void over the last few nights, I grew frustrated and…" she pauses reassessing the situation briefly, "it's almost as if I pulled the both of us into the black void, the tunnel," she tries to explain. Her voice is thick with thought and wonderment when she finishes.

Clarke lets out a long-winded breath through her lips, unsure where to go from here. Confused of how Lexa found this other her, she thinks she may need to talk with, "Claire," Clarke says out loud. "She may be able to help make sense of it."

Lexa nods slowly, "You can try later, Clarke. For now, rest, I know you have not had a restful sleep either. We have a long day ahead. There will be time."

"Lexa," Clarke says softly, surely about to insist they do this now. Lexa hushes her with a finger to her lips, "Rest niron, I'm okay. I just need some air."

Clarke looks at her for a few moments before nodding and letting Lexa tuck her in again in the bed. After a lingering kiss to her lips, Lexa heads for the door. Clarke's slowly fading into a light slumber when she looks back and Lexa whispers her promise, "I'll see you for breakfast," she smiles again before leaving the room.

After she leaves, she doesn't know that Clarke rises and pulls the radio out to wait for the hour she told Ontari she'd contact her this morning. Lexa doesn't see her Brow furrowed in thought, heart a little heavy again with worry, and guilt written all over her posture.

Lexa walks the dimly lit halls; this time, instead of going up, she is heading down the tower towards the kitchens where she's sure the cooks are already awake and baking breads for the day. Before she can reach them however, she begins to hear a rush of sound that draws her attention. She follows the sound to find the source being music blared from the mechanics workshop.

She tilts her head with a small smile as she opens the door, she hears raven's voice singing along to the lyrics. It would seem Raven is also experiencing a little trouble with sleeping through the night.

Lexa cringes against the bass drumming in her ears and closes the distance to the Rover; she kicks at the pair of legs that are hanging out from under the rig. Lexa hears a dull thud and then a slur of curses as Raven is pulling herself out from under it. She appears on her rolling board, rubbing her head looking a little miffed.

She can clearly hear the mechanics words but feigns that she can't over the raging music from the Rover; she raises her hands apologetically gesturing to the vehicle. Raven cocks her brow before hitting a switch on the remote in her pocket.

"I hope you have a good reason for that," Raven says sternly, "I love that song," she ends, laughing at Lexa's brief look of shock.

Lexa rubs her forehead and rolls her eyes at her friend. "Good morning to you too."

"IS it technically morning without the sun being up? I prefer to think not." Raven says wiping her hands as Lexa helps her up, "Can't sleep?"

Lexa shakes her head solemnly, offering nothing more than that.

Turns out, that's all Raven needs, she nods in understanding, "Yeah. Me too."

She catches Lexa's eyes and in them, Lexa can see a brief window of vulnerability from her friend, usually so carefully hidden behind her lighthearted demeanor and crude jokes. She puts her hand on Raven's shoulder and squeezes in support before she feels herself pull her into a hug.

They cling to each other for a few moments, Lexa finding comfort in giving and receiving the embrace from her friend. It's been a rough few weeks and she doesn't feel it's quite over yet.

"Thanks," Raven says, finally pulling out of the embrace, looking somewhat thrown by not being able to find her normally explosively fun temperament.

She's been hiding it well but She's been struggling lately, haunted by the scene in the throne room and all the loss. Struggling to sleep, her mind tired but finding it's way into falling into someone else's dreams; occasionally it was Octavia's beside her in bed, dreaming of the village and running as a wolf (the first time it happened she almost went to pee outside the next morning). Sometimes, it's one of the natblida's or one of the many people inhabiting the tower. She's having a hard time guarding and keeping her mind blank like Beland taught her. She blames the stress and the lack of sleep that keep perpetuating the cycle.

They don't talk about what's keeping them awake, at least at first. They tinker on the Rover, Raven making adjustments and repairs and guiding Lexa as she assists her. They get lost in the work, minds drifting in and out of focus, bodies moving as if on their own. For a while, it's quiet, it's therapeutic and a small escape.

But all too soon Lexa's mind begins to dwell on her troubles once again. It goes on for a little while before it finally can't be ignored and Raven speaks.

"You know, I prefer when Clarke hangs out with me when she's troubled, she at least blocks me from listening to her mind, leaves me to my own dark and twisty thoughts," Raven mutters.

Lexa's mouth gapes as she looks at her sideways, "Sorry. I didn't realize what I was doing. I have a lot on my mind."

Raven shrugs and smirks at the apology, "I can tell. So... you think you met the other you? The one from Pheonix and Elyza's world." Oddly, this topic seems to lift her spirits and she sounds a little excited. At the very least, intrigued by the possibility.

"Does it really count as meeting if you never learn each others names and one of you runs away?"

Raven laughs, a real laugh she hasn't heard herself make in weeks, "Okay, 'meeting' may have been generous."

Lexa grins back as she turns the screw driver in her hand, "...While we're on the subject, do you have any idea how I am able to reach her without knowing anything about her?"

Raven's mouth purses as she thinks, her brain going over what she knows, what they've learned, and what she hypothesizes based on that.

"I think…" she trails off before starting once more, "maybe because you are aware that this world exists now, you were able to bridge the gap? If what Claire says about our souls is true, then you're as connected to her as Clarke is to Elyza, it's just Clarke knows specifically where she can find Elyza, knows how to find her. Lexa, You're just as strong as Clarke is, your mind is powerful too, you found her without realizing you were searching. My educated guess is that you caused this to happen, but for you to stand face to face with her, even if it was through your mind could mean she was reaching out without knowing it too..."

Lexa nods slowly, "Maybe…" she's a little disappointed that she still doesn't have an exact answer. She wishes Alex were still around so she could question her.

She feels lost, unguided, unsure of how to be the guide if that is truly the position she is in now in regards to the other her. Then again, maybe we are meant to guide each other.

"Hey," Raven interrupts her thoughts, "Knock it off. Let's take a break, you guys are heading out to Bluecliff today right? Bringing home baby?"

Lexa rolls her eyes and let's out a sigh, her shoulders heavy, "It's not exactly a joyous moment Raven. I am literally having to break the very rules for the changes to the conclave I just made. That baby should not be coming to Polis this young. I will have to forcibly remove him from his family, his mother, his people…"

Raven puts a hand on her shoulder, "These are extenuating circumstances though, you don't really have another choice that won't involve blood spilling. You're trying to prevent anything from happening in the future!"

"We still don't know for sure that no blood will be spilled in doing this."

Raven sighs, knowing in her mind there's someone they could potentially tell them exactly how this will end, but she knows she's in no position to propose it. Lexa doesn't know that Raven is helping Clarke walk both lines of this war. Her guilt swells as she sees the troubled look take over Lexa's face, she hates it. All of it. They all need a break. They deserve it.

Lexa deserves it.

"Raven?" Lexa questions when she doesn't respond.

"Sorry, just a lot in my head too. I know we don't know what's going to happen today, Which is why I said we should take a break. Come on, let's take the ole' girl out for a ride." She points her thumb in the direction of the rover with a glint in her eye.

Lexa can't argue with Raven on this, they do need a break. All she wants right now is a little reprieve, a little freedom, a little air; a light moment with her best friend, a chance to forget it all just for a moment like she can with Clarke. Lexa smirks, "Thought you meant Octavia for a second there."

Raven laughs and opens the driver's side door, "I see my sense of humour is rubbing off on you, let's see if my driving skills have."

Lexa hesitates before nodding. Raven does make driving look like fun, how hard could it be? She hops in and Raven slams the door before hopping in the passenger side. She hits the button for the large door she jimmy rigged back together after the attack.

"No, she's not changing her mind," Clarke says in to the radio. She's tired and hunched over rubbing her eyelids.

"I am disappointed in you, Clarke. I thought you would be able to do this," Ontari's voice crackles through the speaker.

Clarke sighs before clicking to respond, "Look, the sectors are being double searched for both you and the vaults, so you better hope to have a good hiding spot. If they find you, they'll take you by whatever means, and then she will kill you."

"They will not find me and if they find any of my own search teams, they will die…"

"No. You don't have to have your teams fight with them, Lexa doesn't want their blood, just yours. Just tell them not to engage! To stay hidden!"

"Azgeda will remain as unseen as possible, but if they are found, your people will die. We have to keep up appearances after all, can't have word getting back to Lexa that we backed down when our peace offer was foolishly thrown in our face. She would grow suspicious of another Natrona in her midst..." Her voice had begun with a lilt to it but ended with bitterness that Clarke could almost taste herself. She didn't miss the hidden dig at herself when Ontari mentioned a traitor, for she is it in a way, and she has accomplices. She sighs heavily as her anger bubbles, then steams over and wanheda is reacting with Clarke internally clapping for her.

"Can you really blame her?" Clarke growls with a venom of her own, unable to sit by and not defend her wife's decision, or even her own. "You broke into her city, massacred children, destroyed half of Polis and two neighboring villages before using her daughter as bait to broker a truce behind her back with her wife! She doesn't trust you and never will!" She doesn't deserve it, Clarke thinks, wondering if she even deserves that trust anymore… so torn between doing what is right for all of them and doing what is right by her wife.

"We want the same things, Clarke." Ontari's voice is calm once more, almost soothing now, and Clarke's disgusted that she finds a little comfort in it, "Lexa will come to see it eventually." Hearing someone agree with her decision was something she didn't know she needed.

It's funny how when you are broken down you become weak for even the smallest bit of understanding or comfort, even in the entirely wrong places. All because you made a decision alone, forced friends into the same position, and now it's slowly eating you from the inside out.

"You keep saying that but you don't explain how you know," Clarke replies, forcing herself to remember who the fuck this bitch is. Reminding herself that not so very long ago, the things Ontari wanted were the very throne Lexa sits on and the right to lead, when clarke and Lexa simply want to live in peace together, throne and duty long forgotten.

With nothing more owed to their people. To anyone but themselves.

All Ontari says again is, "she will see it, Clarke."

They plan to share information, that was the deal, yet Ontari continues to hide information. Clarke's not naive, she knows to be careful with what is shared and what is withheld. It's just good practice when dealing with someone you aren't certain you should trust. So She doesn't tell Ontari of their plans to leave the city today for Bluecliff, she doesn't inform her that their sectors intersect, that the chance of their people running into each other are higher than ontari suspects.

She swallows her anger and resentment, her current distaste for herself, for this whole shitty fucked up situation, wanting nothing more right now than to get this over with, "In two days. I'll contact you again."

"Wanheda, beware of the cliffs..." Ontari's voice, thick with warning crackles through before the transmission ends. Clarke's eyes widen, her words, the message is too specific, too coincidental for her to ignore.

She's not sure how, but Ontari knows Lexa and her will travel to bluecliff today.

So, it turns out driving is a lot more difficult than Raven made it look.

"Jesus," Raven says, wiping her mouth and sitting back down in her seat after spilling her guts out the window for the second time. "I'm getting sea sick in a fucking jeep on land, with you… I can't fucking believe," she says dramatically.

"Well stop swearing and help me," Lexa shouts at her, white knuckled grip glued to the steering wheel. Heda's side eye glare very evident.

Raven eyes her form, "Well, first of all, you need to chill the fuck out." She flicks the switch to the radio and music rushes out, she adjusts the volume to a reasonable level. The Beatles, hey Jude, crackling out of the speakers.

"Relax your grip, don't sit so rigid and tense, this baby won't break and neither will you." She stops and watches Lexa try what she says, she chuckles, "try one foot controlling the gas and break instead of two... No use the right leg. There ya go." Lexa switches and the rover begins to roll along more fluidly, Ravens stomachs stops doing somersaults.

Lexa's grin widens and her head begins to bob and weave to the song. Inspired by the moment, Raven pushes on her right leg a little bit pushing enough so Lexa gets the hint to go a little faster. Raven turns the volume up and starts belting out the song.

They play it two more times before Lexa joins in, word for word, left arm crooked on the door frame, relaxed and exhilarated all at once.

Free.

By the time they head back towards the city gates, Lexa has gotten brazen in her driving. The grass by the tree line is tore up from doing doughnuts, a rapper named drake is blaring from the radio and her smile is as wide as the field before her.

Raven threw up again, but this time she didn't mind. It's their little secret that Lexa is a badass behind the wheel.