"Stripped"
Chapter 18: Break Down
"Really, you're bailing on us," Caroline groaned. "What's so important you can't come out for girls' night?"
"Caroline I was nearly blown to pieces last night. I just want to stay in and relax." Bella explained, "Alone."
"You aren't going all emo on us because you feel guilty for what happened…are you?" Caroline pressed, "It's not your fault."
"April doesn't have her dad anymore because of a choice I made." Bella said, "But I just need a night to myself okay."
"Fine," Caroline grumbled, "But you owe me one."
"Alright," Bella said before she hung up.
The party last night had drained her and she still felt guilty. When she woke this morning, there was a package outside the front door for her from Klaus with a note that read;
Don't forget dear Bella, 7 o'clock don't be late.
~K.
She had left a message for Damon saying that she was just going to stay around the house. She asked for some space since the events of last night had all of a sudden hit her and he had texted later in the day, saying that he understood and that was it.
By 6:45 that night Bella was dressed and ready. Klaus had picked out a skin tight Dolce and Gabbana tulle corseted dress, witch simple black pumps and exquisite pearls. Bella had to roll eyes…this was over the top.
Once she had finished getting ready, she took a look in the mirror and grimaced.
"I look and feel like a high priced hooker." She mumbled to herself.
The doorbell rang and she sighed before walking carefully down the stairs. Bella grabbed her white jacket and opened the door.
"Miss Isabella Swan?" The man questioned.
"Yes," Bella replied.
"I'm your driver," the man replied, "Mr. Mikelson sent me for you."
"Let's go," Bella said and locked up the house.
.*.*.*.*.*.
It took them an hour to reach Richmond before they pulled up to a very fancy restaurant. Bella got out of the car and walked inside.
"Can I help you?" The hostess asked, annoyed.
"Isabella Swan," Bella replied, "I'm here to meet someone."
The hostess immediately stopped everything and turned on the charm.
"Oh Miss Swan I didn't know it was you," she said while coming over, "Let me take your coat. Your party has been waiting for you. This way please."
The hostess led Bella through the restaurant and towards the back where the private rooms are. She pushed aside a curtain to reveal Kol and Klaus waiting.
"Isabella," Klaus said while smiling sinfully as he stood up, "I must say I do have good taste."
"Is there anything I can get you?" The hostess asked.
"More wine dear," Kol said, standing up as well, "That's all for now."
Bella walked in and felt the curtain fall, closing behind her. She was in the lion's den and the key was not to let them know she was afraid.
"So glad you decided to join us," Klaus said and offered his hand, "Please sit."
Bella didn't take his hand and he shrugged before dropping it. Bella walked over to her seat which Kol quickly pulled out before being pushed back in once she had sat down.
"Yes we're happy to see you're alone," Kol said while returning to his seat, "Where is your body guard tonight?"
"He doesn't know I'm here," Bella replied stiffly.
"Oh so you can stay out late tonight," Kol said; his eyes full of mischief.
"You wanted to talk about something," Bella said, becoming annoyed, "Either let's talk or I'm gone."
"Kol," Klaus said, becoming serious, "That's enough. Isabella wants to get down to business we shall." Klaus leaned forward, his eyes full of mystery, and said very calmly, "What if I were to tell you that I have a way to turn Elena and your other friends back."
"Back to what?" Bella asked.
"Human," Klaus said.
Bella froze, "What are you saying?" She asked barely breathing.
"There's a cure to turn a vampire back into a human," Klaus said, "So are you interested?"
Bella quickly threw up her hands, everything froze, people included. Klaus was a stature leaning on the table, staring intently at Bella while Kol was smirking; he was in mid drink of his wine. Bella took a deep breath and stood up and began to pace.
"Okay," She said, starting to talk to herself. "There can't be a cure. I mean witches would know about something like that…hell we probably invented it. I mean balancing the forces and trying to keep the scales even and all that. The question is why wouldn't it be known in the witch community? Sure things do slip through the cracks, but something like this." Bella rambled before her eyes turned to Klaus, "Let's see if you are telling the truth."
She placed her hand on Klaus' face and delved into his memories until he found the one. Rebekah had fallen in love with a hunter, the kind that was coming to Mystic Falls. He told her about the cure and how his tattoos were the map and his sword was the key. Bella pulled out of Klaus' memories and started breathing heavily.
"Okay," Bella said while trying to calm herself down. She sat back in her seat and took a deep breath before throwing up her hands, unfreezing everything in the process. "I think you need to tell me more." She said without missing a beat.
"Well," Klaus started and went into detail about what Bella had just seen.
Although she looked like she was listening, internally Bella was trying to figure out what she was going to do. Did she tell the others? Should she do this one on her own? A thousand thoughts flew through her mind and finally she tuned back in as Klaus recounted how Rebekah had fallen in love with a hunter that ended up stabbing them all.
"I unfortunately killed him and it wasn't until later that I found out about the cure. Thing was the hunters got smart and they had a witch, like you, conceal their tattoos."
"Why are you telling me this?" Bella asked while narrowing her eyes, "What do you want from me?"
"Only a few things," Klaus said before he grabbed her hand, "Perhaps join me."
"Not ever going to happen," Bella said through clenched teeth.
"Well then perhaps your help in capturing the hunter when he comes. I will give you the cure once I find it, but I need a hunter. You're a powerful witch, you can go against him. What do you say?" Klaus purposed.
"No," Bella said while putting her fork down, "The answer is no for now."
"What do you mean?" Klaus asked.
"This is big Klaus and I don't make big decisions without carefully thinking them over." Bella said.
"Very well," Klaus said, "I won't disagree with you, but there is one thing for giving you time to make a decision."
"This stays between us," Bella said knowingly.
"You are very intelligent Isabella." Klaus said amused.
"Don't forget beautiful brother." Kol added.
"If I had to pick between the two, I'll pick brains over beauty." Bella replied dryly.
"Well let's be thankful you have both." Klaus said as he raised his glass. "To hopefully a fruitful partnership."
Kol and Klaus clinked their glass while Bella stood up.
"Leaving so soon?" Kol asked, "You haven't even really touched your dinner."
"The company has repulsed me and besides I need to think about the offer and I can't do that around you two." Bella said while grabbing her purse, "I'll call you soon with my answer and I'll send you the outfit back."
"Keep it," Klaus said as she headed for the door, "It suits you."
"I'm not some doll you can dress up Klaus, but if you insist on me keeping it, then it'll make some good fire material." Bella said before she walked out.
.*.*.*.*.*.
She arrived back at the house and quickly changed out of the dress. She walked over to her fireplace, lit it and threw the dress in. The pearls she would donate to the auction coming up for the homeless and the shoes she would give to Caroline for Christmas; Caroline had wanted a pair like them for a while. She went into the kitchen and popped open a bottle of wine. She grabbed a glass before she headed back to the couch.
Her entire body tensed as she thought, but the thoughts were interrupted by her phone vibrating. Bella smiled as she read the text.
It's cold tonight. Need a snuggle buddy? ~D.
Bella texted back.
No, but I could use someone to talk to. ~B.
Ding
Open the door. ~D.
"Just come in Damon, it's unlocked." Bella called without moving.
She heard the door open and close.
"You know it's not safe to leave your doors unlocked." Damon said as he took off his jacket and hanging it on the coat hanger.
"The rest of the house is locked up and I'm right here. If someone comes in I'll know." Bella replied. "I would offer you a glass, but I don't have enough wine for two."
"Well then," Damon said while walking to the kitchen, "Good thing I brought some selections from the Salvatore wine cellar."
Damon came over to the couch with a glass of wine in his hand and he sat down.
"You look troubled," he commented, "What's going on in that mind of yours?"
"If you could, would you become human?" Bella asked suddenly.
"What?" Damon asked surprised.
"If you could, would you become human?" Bella repeated.
"No," Damon said sincerely, "I don't think I would survive as a human."
"What if you could?" Bella pressed.
"The answer is still no," Damon said, "My vampirism is part of who I am Bella you know that. Besides why think about something that could never happen?"
"Just curious," Bella replied before finishing off her glass.
Damon took it and poured her another one.
"What's up with the deep soulful questions?" Damon asked.
"Just some thoughts that have been running through my mind," Bella replied.
They sat there together, watching the fire that Bella had just started. The last little bit of fabric from Bella's dress caught his eye.
"Damon?" Bella asked as he got up.
Quickly Damon pulled the remnants of the dress out before studying it. Bella froze as Damon slowly turned towards her, his eyes blazing.
"What is this?" Damon asked while saying each word slowly.
"Damon," Bella said tensely, "I had my reasons."
"I saw Klaus buying a dress like this a few days ago," Damon growled, "What the hell?"
"He asked me to dinner," Bella said, "He wanted to talk."
"And you went alone!" Damon yelled before he threw his glass against the wall, causing it to shatter. "What were you thinking? When?"
"Tonight," Bella said as she cringed away from Damon.
"How stupid can you be?" Damon said. "What did you two talk about?"
"The hunters," Bella said, "You know he wants a partnership."
"So what? You thought you would go alone, just the two of you and have dinner." Damon said while looking at her angrily.
"Kol was there too," Bella said and she immediately regretted it.
"You went alone with those two there. They could have done god knows what." Damon yelled.
"Look, I just wanted to know what we are up against," Bella explained.
"But you shouldn't have lied to us Bella," Damon said before he went over to get his jacket.
"Where are you going?" Bella asked.
"Right now Bella I'm pissed and I don't need to be around you or have you forgotten what happened the last time I got pissed at you," Damon snapped before he walked out of the door, slamming it behind him.
Bella took deep breaths while trying not to cry. She knew she shouldn't have hidden this from Damon, but he wouldn't have let her go. Bella waited a couple hours in hopes that he would come back and that they would talk, but Damon never came back. Bella went to bed and just let go of consciousness.
.*.*.*.*.*.
"Get up!" Elena's voice said while shaking Bella, "Get up!"
"Elena," Bella said a she woke up, "What are you doing here?"
"Um I think the question is what were you doing last night?" Caroline said from the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest, "Staying in and relaxing my ass."
"Bella what were you thinking?" Bonnie asked.
"Not you three too." Bella groaned.
"Oh no not just us," Caroline said before she walked into the room, "Try Tyler, Matt, my mom, Tyler's mom, Stefan, and Jeremy. Not to mention your boyfriend is pissed beyond belief."
"I don't have a boyfriend," Bella replied quietly.
"If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's a damn duck," Caroline retorted. "Get up."
"No," Bella said while shaking her head.
"Bella we just want to talk," Bonnie said calmly.
"I don't want to," Bella replied before putting a pillow over her head.
"That's it," Caroline said before she yanked the pillow away, "You look at me now Swan, we are going to talk. This whole being distant and not telling us crap is going to stop. We are all in this together so no more sneaking around or do we have to put you under 24/7 lockdown?"
"Guys," Elena said, "Let's just give her some time to wake up."
"Fine," Caroline huffed, "I have to go over to my house anyways, but don't think this is over Bella."
Bonnie and Elena sat on the bed with Bella.
"What were you thinking?" Bonnie asked.
"Klaus wants a deal with me. If any of you had come he would have played ring around the fucking rosy and we don't have time for that." Bella said frustrated. "I get it you're mad, but we need answers and I need you guys to trust me that I can handle this. Damon especially."
"Damon isn't exactly the easiest person to reason with," Bonnie admitted.
"I think he just wanted a phone call," Elena said, "For you to be honest with him."
"He would have stopped me," Bella argued.
"Yeah, but at least he wouldn't have been lied to," Elena explained, "I'm pretty sure that's what has hurt him and Caroline the most."
"Would you guys have let me go?" Bella asked, "Honestly."
"No," Bonnie admitted begrudgingly.
"Tell me you wouldn't have done the same," Bella continued.
"It's different for us," Elena argued.
"How so?" Bella challenged, "Because you've been around Klaus more than I have?"
"No," Elena said while trying to do some damage control, "You just had a lot happen to you and you need to slow down. We are worried about you, especially after you almost died."
"Not to mention you have some unresolved issues concerning a certain tall, dark and pain in the ass," Bonnie snickered.
"We aren't going there," Bella warned.
"I think you need to," Elena said, "What do you want Bella?"
Bella was quiet before said, "I don't know. One minute I think I know what I want, but then I feel this tightening in my chest and I start feeling physically sick."
"He really did a number on you didn't he," Bonnie said, realizing what Bella was saying, "you can't trust because of what he did."
"You know Damon's not him right," Elena said.
"I know that Elena," Bella said yet she could feel her chest start to tighten again.
Elena looked at Bella before she said, "Get dressed. We're going to the boarding house."
"What?" Bella asked.
"Please Bella," Elena said, "Please just trust me."
Bella nodded and got out of the bed and headed for the bathroom. Once the door shut, Bonnie looked at Elena.
"What's going on?" Bonnie asked, "I know you know something. I know that look you have."
"I don't think it's just Damon she doesn't trust," Elena said and pulled out her cellphone and motioned for Bonnie to follow her. They walked down the stairs before Elena dialed Charlie's number. The phone rang a bit before he finally picked up.
"Hello?" Charlie said.
"Charlie hey it's Elena and Bonnie," Elena said.
"Hey girls how are you?" Charlie asked, "Is Bella okay?"
"We're good and yes she's fine, she's getting ready and we are going to go out, but we had a question about her ex." Elena explained.
"What about him?" Charlie asked; his voice tense and lined with anger at the mention of Cullen.
"Not really about him, but his family," Elena corrected herself, "Was Bella close with them?"
"Yeah," Charlie said sadly, "Kind of like she is with you guys. They left too without saying goodbye. I think that's one of the things that hurt her the most. She really looked at them as if they were part of her family and then they dumped her. Why do you ask?"
"Just some things she mentioned." Elena lied, "Thanks Charlie."
"Will you have Bella call me after yall get done? I'd like to talk to her." Charlie asked.
"Sure thing," Elena said before she hung up and looked at Bonnie.
"She doesn't trust us, does she?" Bonnie said, realizing what Elena thought.
"It wasn't just him," Elena said, "It was all of them."
"Guys?" Bella called.
"Down here," Elena said while still looking at Bonnie, "Call everyone, including Damon, she needs to confront this and we need to be there to show her we aren't them…any of them."
.*.*.*.*.*.
"What are we doing here?" Matt asked while pacing the living room of the boarding house.
"I don't know," Jeremy said, "Bonnie just said to get here."
Suddenly the front door slammed shut and Damon walked in.
"What does that little witch want?" Damon growled. "I have some things I need to deal with."
"If you're talking about Bella and the Klaus dinner get in line," Caroline huffed. "I can't believe she lied to us."
"I can," Tyler said, "She's been really off since she got here."
"I don't understand it," Carol added, "She used to be so vivacious and the other night at the party, it was like old times."
"Having a knife to your throat and standing next to a guy with a bomb strapped to his body tends to ruin any good mood you're in," Liz said dryly.
The front door opened and closed with Bella, Bonnie, and Elena walking in.
"What's going on?" Bella asked after stopping in the doorway.
Bonnie and Elena joined the others.
"You need to be honest Bella," Bonnie started, "You need to tell us."
"Tell you what?" Bella asked.
"Why you feel like you do." Elena said, "It doesn't just happen with Damon, does it?"
Bella was silent.
"Bella," Elena said softly, "We are you're family and we aren't going to leave you."
"What are you talking about?" Matt asked, "What's going on?"
"There isn't anything to talk about," Bella said before she turned around.
Elena blurred and blocked her from leaving.
"I can't let you keep avoiding this Bella," Elena said, "It's hurting you and us."
"What is going on?" Caroline asked, sounding confused and agitated.
"Bella," Bonnie pleaded.
Bella's lips quivered and the pain in her chest made its appearance. It was hard to breath as the fear was creeping up on her.
"Bella let it out," Elena said, "Trust me."
"I can't," Bella yelled while tears started to spill before she turned to face the others, "I can't trust any of you because of them!"
"Who?" Stefan asked.
"Her ex's family," Matt said quietly. "Bella."
"Don't Bella me!" Bella yelled, "You don't know what it's like to sit there and trust and just be left alone in the woods like you're garbage, like you never mattered. To be thrown away like all you were was a toy for them so that they could find some distraction. I trusted them! I let them in and then they disappeared. I want to let you guys in. I want it to be like it was, but every single fucking time I get close to actually letting it happen, the fear and the memories come back. I can't breathe, I can't think and all I feel is the pain then this numbness that just starts to consume me. So to keep from feeling that way, I keep you at a distance. I know you won't abandon me, but I can't…" Bella admitted before she couldn't speak anymore.
She was hyperventilating and crying. For the first time in months she was talking about what she was really feeling. The fear she felt and it was like a damn had burst.
Elena wrapped her arms around Bella while letting her cry. The others just looked at Bella in shock at her confession.
"I am going to kill those bastards," Caroline hissed.
"I'll join you," Tyler added.
Matt walked over and wrapped his arms around Bella.
"It's okay," Matt said.
"No…it's…not," Bella cried. "It shouldn't….be….like this."
Bella was struggling to breathe.
"She needs to sit down," Liz said.
Matt and Elena guided Bella over to the couch.
"Bella," Jeremy said, "We aren't going to abandon you."
Elena looked over and noticed Damon had gone outside. She nodded to Bonnie who took her place next to Bella before she followed Damon.
"I could kill him," Damon growled upon hearing Elena join him. "I want to hunt them down."
"He isn't worth it," Elena said with disgust, "None of them are."
"Oh I beg to differ," Damon countered.
"Hunting them down and killing them won't help her." Elena replied, "What's going to help her is her talking about it. She needed to break down."
"What do I do?" Damon asked, sounding completely lost.
"The only thing you or any of us can do," Elena said, "Show her that she can trust us. We have to reinforce that they made her so dependent on them that she lost herself."
"It's partly my fault," Damon admitted, "If I hadn't done what I did."
"Don't make this about you," Elena said, "Focus on her."
"Hey," Bonnie said while joining them.
"Where is she?" Elena asked.
"Bathroom," Caroline said while coming out.
The others joined them and they sat on the porch.
"I can't believe it," Jeremy said. "All this time I thought she was upset about coming home to all this and maybe Damon's dumbass. I never thought it was…"
"None of us did," Tyler said. "I mean she kept it hidden well."
"What do we do?" Matt asked, "I mean this is bad. She doesn't trust us and when she tries it physically hurts her."
"Isn't there a spell to make the pain go away?" Carol asked.
"No," Bella said, causing the group to tense. "There are a lot of spells out there, but to make pain go away isn't one of them."
"Bella I wasn't meaning anything by it. I just want to help," Carol rambled.
"I know but you can't help…none of you can," Bella said before she walked down the stairs.
"No," Stefan said, causing Bella to stop walking, "You mean you won't let us help."
"Stefan," Elena said confused.
"I know how you feel," Stefan continued while ignoring Elena, "No one understands, no one could possibly be able to relate," he said as he walked towards Bella, "But you're wrong. You can trust us, we can help but we aren't the problem Bella, you are. You have yourself closed off from us. We could try breaking the wall down and doing all we can but ultimately you have to let those walls down. You have to let us in, we can't force our way in."
Bella turned away, got in her car and drove away.
"You scared her off," Jeremy accused.
"I've been where she is," Stefan said, "It's not just us she doesn't trust, it's herself as well. Until she can admit that, we can't help her."
"So wait, is this like if we were to turn our emotions off?" Caroline asked while trying to understand.
"In a sense," Stefan replied before he looked at Damon, "Don't go after her, she needs to figure this out on her own."
"But it will look like we are abandoning her," Elena argued.
"No," Damon said quietly, "It shows she can trust us."
.*.*.*.*.*.
Bella slammed the door as soon as she got in and threw her keys onto the kitchen table. Her chest rose and fell with each labored breath. Her entire body ached from the muscles being so tense. Every fiber of her being was pulsing with anger, fear, pain, and most of all sadness.
Stefan was telling the truth, she couldn't trust herself. She wouldn't let them help her because she didn't think she was worth it. Edward's leaving had shaken something deep inside her loose. Her confidence was gone, her conviction of her worth that stemmed beyond the power she had access to had disappeared, and that anyone could love her if she wasn't powerful; all those things were shattered. Edward had never known about her powers and their relationship reinforced her own thoughts; that there was more to her than her power, but when he left and they left, that was destroyed. She had allowed someone she trusted in and when they left, they did more than hurt her, they trampled on her own confidence. She hated herself for allowing someone in and for allowing them to have such a hold on her that she lost herself and her own definition of her worth in the process.
Bella slumped down onto the kitchen floor before she started crying once again. Tears of anger poured liked a river; not just at them, but at herself as well. She had always maintained her own thoughts, but then they came breezing through and she allowed them to take such a hold on her soul. This is what was standing between her now and the people in Mystic Falls that she wanted to consider family once again…to have more with Damon; her own inability to open up again…to trust. Trust was pivotal in life, it's what formed relationships and bonds. It's what helped shape you as a person.
Bella screamed a primal scream and it resonated throughout the house. She banged her fists against the cabinets and the tiles of the floor. So much anger and pain just spread through her. She wanted to physically get rid of it.
For an hour she did this until she reached the point of physical and mental exhaustion. She pulled herself up off the ground; not an easy task as it felt like she had no strength left. She took the stairs one by one, holding onto the rail with all she had.
She reached the bedroom and flipped on the light. As she walked past her dresser mirror, she caught her reflection out of the corner of her eye and she froze.
Slowly she turned and faced it, studying the girl that stared back at her. Her eyes then scanned the multiple pictures that were plastered on the mirror. Pictures of her and the others at different times, in different places, from over the years. All before she went to Forks. The girl that stared back at Bella in the mirror was a shadow of the girl that was in those pictures. Her once bright, vibrant eyes were now dull and almost hollow with coldness to them. Her hair once colorful, full, and bouncy now hung on her like a wet blanket that was beginning to fade in color. The bones of her collarbone were protruding and the glow of her skin was now gone.
"This isn't me," Bella whispered in disbelief. "What have I done to myself?"
Bella started walking backwards away from the mirror until her knees hit the bed and she plopped down, completely shaken from her revelation.
After several minutes she stood up and walked over to the closet. She grabbed a box from the top of it and walked down the stairs. Shakily she lit the fireplace and opened the box. Within the box were pictures of her and Edward, and the other Cullen's along with trinkets from them. With a heavy hand she lifted the pictures and stared at them. Slowly she started to put them into the fire, but then she quickly pulled them back, clinging to them as if they were her life. Her eyes caught a picture on the mantel of her, her grams and her father, all smiling. The one next to it was a picture of her and the others the night at the Falls when Damon had leaned in and photo bombed. Within a second of seeing those two pictures, she quickly threw the picture and box into the fire before she watched it all burn.
"No more," Bella whispered before she headed back upstairs.
A/N: Hey guys sorry the chapter is a little late this evening. Family pictures, cooking and some other stuff interrupted me. I got volunteered by my boyfriend's family to make this chicken salad recipe with like nuts, apples, and grapes yeah I think I put in too much mayo it doesn't taste right we'll see who all is nice to me about it lol.
Any ways huge news if you haven't voted yet in the Burning Diamond awards well shame, shame, shame; go and vote do it right now. The website is crossoverawards . blogspot . com and voting ends December 29th.
Thank you to my wonderful always amazing beta who I cherish dearly Dark~Supernatural~Angel.
I will be seeing you all Christmas Eve/Day with the final update before the New Year and it will deal with Christmas Mystic Falls style. Until then my dears review and vote!