A/N: As it's valentines day, have another chapter boys and girls! It's not lovey-dovey, I do warn you. But I hope it keeps you all entertained haha!

Thank you so much for all of your reviews! :D

.
.

.

Chapter 23 – Little Distraction

A month later and Batman hadn't darkened the Clown's doorstep, not that Joker was taking any chances. He'd reluctantly employed Deadshot to be Harley's personal bodyguard when he was gone and Ivy had practically moved in. Joker had become obsessed with keeping his family safe, even if that meant he was in total control of their lives. Jack was a pretty good sleeper, but Joker wouldn't let him out of his sight. Harley was content with his attention, it was all she ever wanted, but she did wish the circumstances were different. But she couldn't complain about her life, she had Joker's undivided attention when he was around and he kept her and Jack with him for as long as he could. It was the life she'd always wanted with him.

But the shadow of Bruce Wayne or Batman coming to tear them apart was always present.

Joker had been driven to the edge in his desperate need to protect Harley and Jack, he was even shorter tempered than normal and he'd spilt blood of more than a handful of staff because they'd slightly stepped out of line. He had also bought in Croc and Boomerang as extra muscle, he'd done business with Croc before but he didn't trust Boomer at all. He thought the man would be easily bought, but they had very few friends against Bruce or the Bat.

He was sat at his antique mahogany desk in his office, papers spread out in front of him and an expensive fountain pen in his hand. He'd been trying to come up with plans of raids and robberies, but his mind constantly wandered back to Harley and Jack. He heard the baby crying and he looked up to see Harley move straight to the crib.

"Can you shut him up?" Joker snapped.

"I'm tryin' puddin'," Harley said calmly and rocked and bounced the baby in her arms to try and settle him. "Hush, cupcake, there we go, ya got ya mommy."

"Maybe he needs changing? Or a feed?" Joker grunted.

"He's not due another feed for a couple hours yet," Harley answered. She checked the baby's diaper and frowned, he didn't need changing. "I'll go put him in our bed, he sleeps better there-"

"No, he's out of sight," Joker interrupted. "Perfect time for the Bat to come and snatch him. Do you want to lose him?"

"Jay, come on," Harley said with an angry frown.

"I meant it Harley, he's not out of our sight," Joker snarled. "Go and get one of the blankets or something and see if he'll settle in his crib again." He held his hands out to Harley and for a second, she hesitated. Her maternal instincts were still so strong and when he was angry, she definitely perceived Joker as a threat to her baby. She placed the baby into Joker's hands and she bit her lip.

"Go and get the blanket," Joker said slowly and Harley nodded. She backed away a step and held his gaze for a few more seconds before she turned and went to get one of the blankets off the bed. She was angry with herself, with Joker and Batman. She ran to the bedroom and pulled one of the sheets from the bed before she went back to the office with it. She walked in and saw the baby gurgling and laughing with his father. She felt a pang of jealousy wash through her and she fisted her hands in the sheets. She put the sheet into the crib and then went to take her son from Joker.

"I think he's quite happy now, don't you?" the Clown said, his eyes never leaving his sons.

"He might want to sleep," Harley replied flatly.

"He might want to stay with his dada," Joker smiled.

"Jay-"

"You can't have him all the time, Harley," Joker told her. "He's not a toy. He has his preferences. Clearly today, dada wins over mommy."

"But he needs to sleep," Harley muttered, her inexplicable envy was still flowing through her and she just wanted to grab Jack and take him away for herself.

"He wants cuddles, he gets what he wants and he wants me, not you," Joker smiled smugly. He didn't realise how much his words affected Harley, it had been the first time in a while that Jack had been content and happy with him and he didn't want to miss it. He'd been so busy trying to make sure they had all sorts of protection that he'd missed spending time with his child. He wasn't purposefully trying to be mean to Harley, but sometimes he couldn't help it even when he didn't intend to.

"I'll just… I'll go put some dinner on then," Harley mumbled and she dropped her gaze to the floor. She didn't look at Joker or Jack when she turned to walk away, she felt like someone had punched her in the face and she couldn't bear to be around.

"Harls… Princess, that came out badly," Joker finally said.

"No, it came out just right," Harley replied and walked to the door. "I doubt you'll need me for a while, but if you do just yell. Like you normally do." He wasn't going to argue with her and just watched her leave. He felt anger flash through him, but his son's gurgles brought that crashing back down. He smiled at the child and held on of his little pudgy hands gently.

"Your momma jumps to conclusions real quick, doesn't she?" Joker sighed.

"Or maybe it's how you've treated her for years?" Poison Ivy said from the doorway. "You know she's crying in the kitchen, don't you?"

"Fuck off Ivy," Joker hissed.

"Charming," Ivy laughed. "Maybe you should go and apologise. She's really upset. Whatever you said has done its job as per usual. She's talking about not being useful, about Jack not wanting her."

"He doesn't, he wanted to be with me," Joker said calmly. "He didn't want to settle with Harley, I took him and he calmed."

"You can't say things like that to her," Ivy told him. "She's far more emotional than you and she takes everything you say to heart. She's sobbing into your dinner because she thinks she's fucked up with Jack."

"I'm trying to make sure that he doesn't get taken from her by the Batman," Joker growled and stood up. "I'm trying to protect this family, I don't have time to be running around after her with tissues and hugs. She knows I won't do that."

"Which is why she needs you to, just once," Ivy shouted. "Just once show her a bit of affection, show her that you give a damn. No one understands why she stays with you, no one understands why she puts up with your abuse, let alone keep her baby within your reach. You've got a gathering of Gotham's greatest villains coming to the club tonight and every single one of them would offer her sanctuary if she decided she needed to get away from you. You need to wake up and treat her how she deserves, not what you require from her."

"So they would've scraped her back together after the twins?" Joker said lowly. "They would've gotten her back from Belle Reve and fixed her? They would've put up with her after the drugs?"

"You threw her out! You let her almost die!" Ivy snapped. "You don't care about her! You don't care about what happens to her, you've proven that a million times! Go to her and tell her that you're sorry! For god's sake, that girl is stupidly in love with you. She can't live without you and you throw her head around like a football. I've tried my hardest to get her to think straight and every time I make progress, you twist her back round."

"She's not yours to play with, she belongs to me," Joker retorted. "She's mine. Back off Ivy, this is your final warning."

"Go to her!" Ivy shouted. "For once you do the running around and appeasing. For once you be the man of the house and apologise to your wife!" They glared at each other for a few minutes before Joker pushed passed Ivy, the baby still in his arms. He stamped through the house and found Harley in the kitchen. He stood outside for a moment and did indeed hear her sniffing and trying to hold back tears.

"Stupid clown," Harley gasped. "Stupid child, Harley, stupid. Why don't you ever just listen to him? You know what he's going to do to you, so why not just do as he says? Useless girl."

"Harley-"

"Holy shit!" Harley shouted and jumped. She dropped the saucepan of spaghetti on the floor and she spun round to face him. "Puddin', I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'll clean it up, I promise, it might be a bit late, but dinner-"

"Harley, come here," Joker said sternly. Harley carefully stepped around the boiling water and spilt spaghetti as she move towards him. She stood in front of him, her eyes closed and her head tilted forward, waiting for the reprimand she knew would come. She swiped the tears off her cheeks and squeaked when he grabbed her wrist. She braced herself but was slightly surprised when she felt his thumb run over her cheek and he wiped away yet another tear.

"Harley, baby, pumpkin pie," he said calmingly. He looked down at her and felt Jack wriggle on his arm. He secured the child so he was laying over his arm and he then looked to Harley again. He hated that she was crying, he hated that she was weak enough to cry over him being a bit possessive over his son and he wasn't sure he could lie to himself and apologise, he wasn't sorry. Jack was his child too, he had every right to be with his son and he wasn't going to say sorry. Harley had him for most of the day, every day, all he'd wanted was five minutes with his baby.

"Yes puddin'?" She asked quietly, still not meeting his eye.

He could apologise. He could. He could make her feel better about herself, he could build her up rather than tear her down. He could. He could be the man she needed rather than the man he was.

"Don't interrupt my time with Jack again."

He could've been the better man. But that's not who he was.

"And clean this mess up, I've got a meeting tonight and you're staying up here with Jack. I want to eat before then," Joker told her. He fought with himself and put an arm around her. He pulled her into his chest and he felt her shoulders tense. "But… thank you. For looking out for our son." He turned and walked out of the kitchen, Jack on his arm and he passed Ivy. He didn't say anything to the woman and slammed the door to his office behind him.

"I'm sorry, Harls," Ivy whispered as she wrapped her arms around her friend. "I'm so sorry."

.
.

.

A few hours later, Harley was sat on her bed, the Hyenas on the floor and baby Jack in his crib. She wanted to be down in the club with Joker and the others, she felt isolated and lonesome. It had been the first time in a month that she'd been truly left out of Joker's life. She was still hurting from his comments before dinner and it had played on her mind. She'd barely eaten and had stayed pretty quiet too, he'd tried to talk to her again, but she had just ignored him. She couldn't beat him in a war of spiteful words, but her silence and indifference cut him in its own way. The apartment was dark, just the light of the TV providing any source of illumination, it was quiet despite the gentle thumping of club music. She was exhausted after feeding her baby and not really eating. But she was at least in control of this situation. Ivy, Deadshot and Joker were all down in the club and would be with her in seconds if anything were to go wrong. She got changed from her clothes into a lilac short silk night dress and she climbed beneath the bed sheets. She was just about to drift off when Jack started to cry. She rolled back to her feet with a groan and she brought him to the bed.

"Up, boys," Harley smiled and the two Hyenas jumped up and settled themselves beside her. She let Jack suckle again until he calmed and fell to sleep and then she started to slip into sleep herself.

"My little cupcake," Harley whispered and pressed a kiss to his white hair. "Your mommy's beacon of hope when daddy isn't. He doesn't mean to be so cross, he doesn't mean to be so angry. He loves you, he does. He wants you to be safe, he just… he doesn't know about me. One day he will, when the Batman is dead, he'll know then, I'm sure. I love you, I won't let him ever hurt you. I'd rather die than let him lay a finger on you. I promise." She held him close as she drifted to sleep.

Bud and Lou looked at each other and curled up behind Harley, unsure of their mistress's sadness. It had been such a rare thing since the baby had come home and they weren't happy about it.

.
.

.

.

In the club downstairs, Joker was sat silently watching the gathering of villains around him. The only one he respected was Crane and even that was a push. He didn't like being the second best chemist at the table. He looked down the line and rolled his eyes. Not a single one of them deserved to be here. They should've been shot on sight, but alas, he needed them. Needed them to protect his family. Penguin was sat dead opposite him, his wrapped hands looking more and more like flippers every time they met, TwoFace and Scarecrow were next, then Croc, Boomerang, Deadshot, Mr Freeze, Catwoman, Riddler and Ivy.

"So, Joker, what's the purpose of pulling us all here?" Penguin asked, his London cockney accent was like nails on a chalk board to Joker.

"As you all know, I've made… friends in high places," Joker answered. "I want to secure contracts for each and every one of you. I'm not concerned about Wayne coming after me, he's just a rich boy and the Bat's a Paso Doble at best. But I have two things that aren't up to that fight and never will be."

"Harley and the kid," TwoFace growled, he was flipping that damn coin of his and Joker just wanted to shoot it out of his hand. "Should have thought about that before you got her pregnant and attacked the Wayne place."

"For once we agree on something, Harv'," Ivy chuckled.

"One thing that I never thought I'd see," Catwoman smirked. "The Joker worried about a baby. Who knew this could happen."

"Shut up, all of you," Scarecrow hissed. "I want to get this done and be gone as soon as possible, I have a number of experiments that can't be overrun. Get on with it Joker."

"You are all signing a contract," Joker said loudly. "If you don't want to, you die. It's real easy. If the Bat gets her or the kid, you are all to come and find them. For whatever reason, if Harley needs sanctuary away from me, you all offer it and you treat her like the Queen of Gotham she is."

"Better than you treat her?" Riddler smirked.

"You should know that we'd all offer her sanctuary from you, Clown," Harvey told him and clenched his coin in his fist. "The moment she needed it. Just the last time you forbid us from doing so and the mood you were in, not one of us was going to go against that."

"I'd be most interested in having Miss Quinn under my roof," Penguin said smugly. Ivy grimaced and shuddered, Deadshot felt irrationally angry and Joker's gaze narrowed onto the cockney git. "For protection purposes of course, Joker."

"And my son?" Joker asked. "I'm not asking, I'm telling you all. I'm pulling my rank for the first time in a while. You know the death penalty would be excruciating. Especially for anyone who dabbles with heroes... Selina."

"It's not me you gotta worry about, Joker," Selina purred. She knew the room didn't trust her thanks to her relationship with Batman, she knew it killed Joker to have her here because you just couldn't ever quite tell whose side she was on.

"Oh it is, Kitten," the clown snarled. "You're the one fucking around with the Batman. You put my girl or my son at risk of him and you are the next generation of violin strings, got it? I have some very unique ways of pulling the intestines out of someone's ass."

"Harley's my friend, between me and Ivy, I'm sure we could keep her safe," Selina shrugged and tapped her fingers on the table.

"You've both failed me before, it will not happen again," Joker told them. "Has anyone got any problems?"

"Yeah, I do," Boomer piped up.

"Yes?"

"How much are we gonna get paid for puttin' up with her Royal Craziness? And your kid?" Boomerang asked with a smirk. "Cos as far as I can see, we're just doin' your dirty work. When you decide you can't be bothered with being a father or… what are ya? Boyfriend? Master?"

"You'll be paid if she comes to you," Joker said through gritted teeth. "But I doubt she'd be anywhere near you. She has taste."

"Yeah, shit taste," Boomer chuckled. Deadshot elbowed him hard and the Australian rubbed his ribs.

"Put a bullet in his head, Dead-head," Joker growled. "A couple million for her to spend, a little more to cover your extra expenditure and time. I know money speaks volumes with you idiots. But I also know that you all have some emotion for Harley."

"Oh I have a certain emotion for-"

"Boomer!" Deadshot, Croc and Ivy shouted.

"The fuck man?" Deadshot frowned.

"I was just bein' honest," Boomer replied and held his hands up.

"God help me," Joker hissed.

"Too late for that," Ivy chuckled.

Joker fell silent and watched as the group of menaces started to drink and eat his food without as much as a thank you. He downed a couple of whiskeys but he wasn't in the mood to entertain. He had his assurances, Frost had gone around with contracts and gathered names, and he now just wanted them to go away.

"What are you thinkin' about?" Deadshot asked Joker.

"Something doesn't feel right."

.
.

.

Bruce Wayne had lost nearly everything in Joker's fire, thankfully the Bat Cave had remained safe and although Alfred was still recovering from his leg injury, he'd been more than eager to get back to work. Bruce had taken his time on planning his revenge, he'd spent time with Clark and Diana, they tried to talk him into just arresting the Clowns, but that wasn't enough. The Joker didn't deserve anything good in his life, much less a child. He didn't deserve anything. His insanity protected him from the death sentence, but as far as Batman was concerned, the greatest punishment would be to have his child removed from him. Sure it would hurt Harley too, but she wasn't an angel.

He was on the roof of Joker's club, cape flowing in the wind as he plotted his best entry route. He knew the Clown was busy with Gotham's most notorious and most wanted, but he didn't care for that. Normally that would be a fun swoop to grab them all, but now… he had the biggest fish to fry. The GCPD could handle the rest later on. He crept down the side of the building using the Batline and came to an open window just below the apartment. He walked around this part of the building completely unhindered. Apparently he'd been correct in thinking that it would only take a month for the Clown to get sloppy on his security. He moved soundlessly through the stairwell and had to take out a couple of goons, but otherwise this was easy.

Too easy.

He heard a beeping from inside on of the goons jackets and looked inside. There was a grinning clown's face and the nose flashed red in time with the beeping. Great, he had them wired. That gave him even less time to get the kid, possibly Harley, and get out.

It hadn't been Selina that had tipped him off about this, for once she wasn't playing both sides of the game. He'd been waiting for this to happen. Whenever the Clown pulled rank, word travelled far and it made Maroni and Falcone very uncomfortable with how unpredictable Joker could be. Batman used the shadows and was very surprised that he didn't meet any more than the two meatheads that he'd rendered unconscious. He found the apartment door and paused for a second before he opened it. Two large brown creatures launched themselves at him with snapping jaws and he struggled with them. He didn't want to hurt even these beasts, but he wasn't going to die by… Hyenas?

"Of course she has Hyenas!" Bruce growled and reached into his belt. He pulled his Tranquiliser gun and fired it into the belly of the animal that was trying to bite his face. It seemed only to enrage him and his brother. So Bruce shot sedative into the next one too and after a few minutes the Hyenas stumbled away as the drugs kicked in. Bruce checked himself and found a few tears in his costume, a couple of bite marks that were bleeding, but otherwise he was okay. He walked passed the two sleeping beasts and went straight to the Joker's master bedroom. The vision in his cowl had picked up Harley's heat signature, but the baby's crib was mysteriously empty. He opened the door and waked up to the bed.

Bruce looked down at the sleeping woman and he let out a long breath. This would kill her. He was sure. But maybe that price was worth paying? Joker would be broken without her, as much as he would protest otherwise, he wouldn't be causing hell in Gotham if he had lost both of them. But Harley… she could be saved. She could be helped. Or was that his residual fondness for Harleen breaking through? He'd always thought highly of the bright young psychiatrist, he'd thought enough about her to take her back to his mansion a couple of times, almost fooling Alfred that he was settling down. But to know now that she was already screwing the Joker at that point?

He was taking the child.

Bruce pulled the sheet down a little to find the 3 month old baby wrapped protectively in his mother's arms. He felt something press against the back of the cowl and froze.

"Not good enough Bats," Joker laughed.

.

A/N: Didn't think it'd be that easy, did ya Bats? Oooh boy...

For Penguin, think the Arkham Games type of Penguin. Cockney Penguin is my favourite and as much as I love Gotham, Oswald just doesn't sit right.

Totally up for Riddler being Eddie in Gotham though. My geek heart goes for that man.

Please Review! :D