Author Note: Thank you to everyone who is still here for the ride. Sorry I didn't get a chapter up sooner, it was my birthday yesterday so I've had a busy weekend! I hope you all enjoy this one.

"This is Alana Schmick, twenty-six. She was found a half hour ago by her neighbour," Korsak said. Jane lowered herself down beside the body, resting her fingers on the ground to steady herself. "She came to see if Alana wanted to grab a coffee, they're friends, their daughters play together."

"She's got a kid?" Jane sighed, her other hand moved quite naturally to her stomach. She gripped the fabric of her shirt and stared at the woman's eyes. She forced a large breath of oxygen, then moved to stand up. She groaned. "Maura?"

"I'm here," Maura said, looping an arm quickly around her back and helping her to her feet. She could feel Korsak's eyes on her. Jane clenched her fist, her jaw ached as she gritted her teeth. She walked around the body, ignoring the intense glare from her partner, which she transferred to Maura as she spoke. "The additional weight is proving to be a sore point."

"You try carrying twins around as they press down on your bladder." Jane looked over the injuries around the woman's neck. "Husband?"

Korsak cleared his throat. "Luis Schmick was a fighter pilot. He went missing a few months back, plane went down, they have no reason to believe he's still alive."

Jane's whole body tensed up. She couldn't turn away from the steely eyes of the young mother on the floor, or the ligature marks that likely caused her death. She closed her eyes as she trailed along her body and landed on the enlarged abdomen not unlike her own. Maura sidled up beside her and gripped her hand, giving her the briefest moment of relief.

"He never knew he was going to be a father again," Korsak added, like a final knife to her chest.

Being a detective was something Jane had dreamt about for years. She had worked hard to fight her way up to her position. She was a strong, confident detective who wasn't afraid of the harder cases. She fought people twice her size, and won. She came face to face with serial killers and terrorists.

She did not feel the weight of victim's worlds on her shoulder.

"Wait," Jane said, turning to Korsak. "Where's the daughter now?"

"With the friend."

"Here?" She couldn't breathe. The thought of her daughter's losing her, or Maura, felt like an insurmountable weight on her chest.

"Jane," Maura said, squeezing her hand tightly. "It's okay."

"It's not okay," Jane said, letting go of her fingers and searching the room. She walked out into the hallway and through the house to the lounge. She bit the inside of her cheek when she saw the child, barely four years old and a head full of blonde curls. She crouched down beside her, knowing full well that standing back up would be next to impossible. "Hey there. What's your name?"

"Lucy," the little girl said.

"Hi Lucy, I'm Detective Rizzoli, but you can call me Jane." She pulled herself onto the couch beside her. She looked to the woman whose hand she clutched. "Who's this?"

"Maryann."

"Is Maryann your friend?" Lucy nodded, and the woman forged a smile. Jane choked back the threat of tears. "It's nice to meet you both. Do you know what happened, Lucy?"

"To Mommy?"

"Yeah." Jane nodded. "Did you see what happened to your mommy?"

"I don't think," Maryann said, but Jane interrupted her.

"Lucy is the closest thing we have to a witness."

"I understand that, but she's scared."

Jane smiled. "We'll only go as far as Lucy is able to. I promise."

"Go ahead, Lucy," Maryann said. "Answer her question."

"Did you see what happened to Mommy?"

"No." She shrugged.

"What were you doing?"

"Playing teddy bear's picnic."

"That's a fun game."

"It's my favourite."

"I hope my daughters like to play that game one day," she said, running her hands across the sides of her bump.

"You got a baby in your belly too?" she asked, pointing to Jane's bump. "A big belly like Mommy."

"I sure do." She forged a smile. "Lucy, did you hear anything while you were playing? Any noises? Or maybe your mommy was on the phone?"

"The man shouting."

"The man?" She leaned forward, a little closer. "Do you know who the man was?"

"I dunno." Lucy's eyes grew wide and sad. "When can I see Mommy?"

Jane lowered her gaze and pinched the bridge of her nose. A hand landed on her shoulder and she looked up. Korsak crouched beside them. "Hi Lucy, I'm Vince, I work with Jane. We'll have a talk about your mommy real soon, okay? Right now I need you to tell us if you know what happened after the man was shouting."

"Mommy was crying," she said. "She cries a lot after daddy went to heaven."

"I'll bet," Korsak said. Jane stood up. Korsak took her seat and continued questioning the child.

She walked back through the hallway to where Alana's body was. Her heart ached, and all she wanted was a hug from Maura. She stood in the doorway to the bedroom. Maura knelt down, pulling a few samples from the body and making notes. She sighed and watched her for a moment.

"Jane." Maura stood up, snapped off her gloves and joined her in the doorway. "Any luck with the child?"

"This isn't a nice case," Jane said, pressing her fingers to her eyelids and brushing away a couple of tears.

"No."

"She's so little." Jane's chest heaved. "She's too young to lose her dad and her mom in such a short space of time. How will she cope?"

"Children can be amazingly resilient."

Jane rolled her eyes. "That's all you've got?"

"It's true."

"I don't want our daughters to have to go through that," she said, wrapping her arms tightly around her stomach, as though it was enough to keep the babies safe. "What happens if we die? What happens to them?"

"Jane," Maura said, rubbing her back. "You don't need to worry about that right now."

"But I do."

"Then we'll create a will outlining what we want to happen," Maura said, cupping her cheek. She brushed away fresh tears, then replaced them with a kiss. "Everything's going to be okay."

"Who gets them?"

"Who gets what?"

"The babies. Who gets the babies if we die?"

"Jane." Maura turned back to the body. "This isn't the time for this conversation."

"Then when is?"

"Tonight, when we get home from work, we'll discuss it properly."

"But I need to know now."

She cupped her cheeks tightly and stared into Jane's eyes. "You're upset, and that's okay. Your body is working really hard on producing hormones so that you're putting all of your energy into helping the babies grow. I know it might feel like you need answers, but a few hours won't hurt."

"What if...?" Jane began, but Maura cut her off.

"Hypothesising will not do you any good. This is a difficult case, and the little girl isn't going to make it any easier. But this isn't our life, it's theirs."

Jane shook her head, pushing Maura's hands away from her. "How can you be so calm?"

"I don't have the same range of hormones as you do." Maura gripped her hand. "Please try not to worry about this."

"Do you have a hypothesis about how she died?" Jane sighed.

Maura pursed her lips, disguising a slight smile. "The marks on her neck suggest strangulation, she has some bruises on her arms which are signs of a struggle."

"So, she was strangled," Jane said.

"I can't be one hundred per cent sure."

Jane smirked. "But she was."

x

"I spy with my little eye, something that starts with the letter P," Jane said, glancing at the pen on the table.

Lucy looked around the room, carefully taking in everything around her. Jane moved her hand across the wooden top, inching closer to the pen beside her.

"Pen!" Lucy shouted, her grin wide as her face lit up.

"Yes!" Jane said, holding it up. She dropped it back on the table. "You're such a clever kid."

"Mommy said I'm above a fridge for my age grouping."

Jane smiled, sadness laced her words. "Your Mommy was right."

The conversation ground to a halt faster than a T train coming in to a stop. She sat back and waited, hoping the silence would give Lucy the time she needed to think of something else to say. The little girl had been especially verbose and she didn't want to stop her, in case she remembered something important.

"Mommy's not coming, is she?" she asked, a moment later, her eyes sad but her voice matter of fact. "Like Daddy."

Jane sighed. "I'm sorry, Lucy. No, she not coming, like Daddy."

Lucy nodded and turned to the pen and paper on the desk. She picked up the pen and started a drawing. Silently getting on with something productive, while Jane felt like she was about to break apart.

A knock at the door pulled her from her sadness. She opened it, her eyes bugged. "Silver."

"Jane," she said, her smiled reached her eyes. "It's lovely to see you."

"It's," Jane checked that Lucy was still occupied and slipped out into the hallway. "It's unexpected."

"As is that," Silver said, glancing down at her enlarged stomach. Her smile tightened.

Her hand went to her bump as it always did any time she was thinking, or talking about it. Jane felt her cheeks redden and looked away. "When I called, I didn't think they'd send you."

"Everyone else was busy." Silver's tone had changed. It was colder, harsher. "There's a little girl who needs looking after?"

"Lucy, she's four," Jane said. She sighed. "We can talk about it."

"Maybe I don't want to."

"Silver."

"What?" she asked, her arms out at her sides. "You can't say my name and it all be okay. Do you know how difficult it was to get over you?"

"Please. Can't we just do our jobs and then move on?"

"You're the one who wanted us to talk about it."

"I didn't mean right now."

"Then when?" Silver asked, folding her arms. "I'm here to take a child who just lost her mother to foster care because she has nobody. When exactly do you wish to discuss the fact you got pregnant shortly after we broke up?"

"It's complicated." Jane sighed. "Maybe we could get a drink after I finish work."

Silver laughed. "Really? You want us to get a drink? Why?"

"Why not?"

"If I hadn't shown up here it wouldn't matter, you wouldn't be asking me to go for a drink. You'd get on with your life like I didn't even matter."

"Now you're over exaggerating." Jane stepped from one foot to the other. She glanced through the glass in the door. Lucy had barely moved. "You mattered. You matter."

"I still matter." Silver laughed again. "I still matter even though you're pregnant with someone else's child. Look at you, you're huge."

"I'm not that big yet."

"You know what I mean."

"It's not as simple as it sounds."

Silver sighed, dropping her arms to her sides. "Where's the child? I have a job to do."

Jane stepped aside and motioning to the door. Silver pressed down on the handle and pushed it open. She left it half open, allowing Jane to follow her into the conference room.

"Hi Lucy, I'm Silver," she said, sitting down in Jane's chair. Lucy looked up, her eyes wide and confused. She glanced at Jane, who nodded. She looked back at Silver. "Jane tells me you had some really sad news today, about your Mommy."

"She went to heaven like Daddy," she said, shaking Jane more than she expected. She hadn't explicitly told her that her mother had died, and yet, somehow she'd understood. She felt her emotions get the better of her and stepped out of the room. She'd done her bit, now it was up to the system to do the rest.

x

Maura had left work earlier after finishing the autopsy. Once the case file had been set up, statements from neighbours had been collated, and Lucy had been looked after, there wasn't much left to do. At least, there wasn't much left for Jane to do. Korsak and Frankie had insisted on taking on the bulk of the case, and for once, Jane wasn't about to argue. She headed to the parking lot. On the correct floor, Jane froze. Stood against her car was the one person she least expected.

"Silver."

"I changed my mind," she said, standing upright. "Let's get a drink."

"Okay."

They walked across to the Dirty Robber and settled into Jane's usual booth. She nursed a glass of club soda, wishing she could get away with a beer. But the day had made her even more adamant that looking after her daughters was more important than anything else, her vices included.

"I was surprised," Silver said, after a moment's silence. "I didn't realise you'd move on so quickly, and I was…upset that you have."

"I'm sorry." Jane rested her elbows on the table. "It's not as simple as it looks."

"You went back in the closet."

"No."

"Then what?"

"The friend I told you about, who I…who I'm in love with."

"Maura."

"How did you know?" Jane asked, a crease between her brows.

"She was your best friend and while we were together you never talked about her. You went to Oxford to be with her at her mother's funeral, but you would barely say her name when we were together."

"Oh." Jane circled her finger around the top of her glass. "She and I were going to have a baby together, as friends."

Silver narrowed her eyes. "I don't understand."

"Before we broke up," Jane sighed. "I'm sorry. I never told you. Before I even met you, properly, we were going to have a child together. Neither of us were in a relationship, we both wanted a child."

"So, you decided to have one together."

"Yes." Jane shrugged. "Maura was going to carry the baby, but it didn't happen for us. Her mom died, we went to Oxford, we kissed. We…"

"You kissed in Oxford?" Silver's face paled.

Jane reached across the table and gripped her hand. Silver pulled it back and stuffed it under the table. "I'm sorry. It wasn't as simple as I just made it out to be. She was grieving and she just…she kissed me. I didn't know how to tell you."

"So, you broke up with me instead."

"No. I, I thought Maura was just upset and needed comfort. I was in love with her, I didn't know what else to do. If I told you about the kiss, I was scared that you were going to leave me, and I didn't want that. I didn't want to hurt you. I still don't."

Lifting her beer up to her lips, Silver took a swig and held onto it as she placed it back on the table. "You didn't end things right away."

"No." Jane sipped her own drink. "I wanted to be with you. But I couldn't do that to you. I couldn't be in love with her, and make you think we had a future."

"When did you get pregnant?"

"After." Jane sat forward. "We conceived after we broke up. It wasn't long, but it was long enough."

"I guess I should be grateful," Silver said. Jane frowned. "If you hadn't ended things, and you and Maura had decided to have a baby together. I don't know how I would have felt about that."

"That's one of the reasons I did it. Maura could see how complicated it was getting. I didn't want to hurt you, and I thought I could do both. Then I realised how much I loved Maura."

"So, you're co-parenting."

"We're parenting." Jane cleared her throat. "Maura loves me too. It took a while, but we finally realised."

"Oh. I see." Silver nodded. "Well, congratulations, I suppose."

"I really didn't want to hurt you," Jane said. "That's why I never told you the whole story. I didn't want you to feel like the way you're looking at me right now."

"I'm sorry I ruined your happy little idea about our breakup."

"It's not like that." Jane rested her head on her hands, as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Do I regret not telling you everything? Of course, I do. Do I regret hurting you? One hundred per cent. Do I wish things could be different? Another time, another place. We could have been something."

"It's too late now," Silver said, raising her eyebrows. She trailed her hand across the table and covered Jane's. Jane stared at their fingers, as she intertwined hers with Silvers. "I didn't think it would be this hard to get over you."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Silver said. "You tried to spare me pain, and then I had to come back into your life and fuck it all up again."

"I'm glad we did this." Jane let go of her fingers and gripped the edge of the table. "I feel like we can maybe move on, now."

Silver scoffed. "I think you've already done enough moving on for the both of us."

"Yeah."

"It's good to see you so happy," she said, smiling right up to her eyes.

Jane covered her hand again, and smiled back. "I hope you find happiness."

"Me too."

x

The front door opened just as Maura pulled the casserole dish from the oven. She rested it on a board and turned to greet Jane. She slouched onto a stool and kicked off her shoes.

"You look tired," Maura said. "I can put this on a tray and you can have it in bed, if you'd prefer."

"Nah, I'll be fine," Jane said. "Thanks for cooking."

"I was home early, it made sense," Maura said, despite the fact they both knew Jane's idea of cooking was calling up and ordering take-out, or having Angela prepare a spread. She served up the casserole, putting the rest back into the oven to stay warm for Cailin.

"This is good," Jane said, scooping another forkful into her mouth and chewing quickly. "I'm so hungry."

"Did you have lunch?"

"No." She looked away, guiltily, but Maura knew. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's been a stressful day."

"Too stressful," Jane said.

They sat silently for a while, eating the casserole and sharing little more than small talk. Maura swallowed a final mouthful and pushed her empty plate to one side.

"I made a list of potential guardians for the babies," Maura said, pushing a sheet of paper across the counter.

Jane glanced at the list, her eyebrows moved as she read down it. Maura waited, almost impatiently, for her response. "Tommy's got his hands full with TJ, Frankie's not ready. My mother is not having our children."

"And the others?"

"Do you really want Constance and Arthur to bring them up?"

"No."

"So, Cailin," Jane said.

Narrowing her eyes, Maura sat back. Thinking about it, she didn't think any of their candidates were especially suitable. "She's about to start back at medical school, she's not in a suitable position to be looking after infants."

"That leaves us with nobody," Jane said.

Maura sighed. "Not necessarily. It would depend on the circumstances under which guardianship would be awarded."

"Isn't that the point of Godparents, though?" Jane asked.

"Some people believe Godparents should be given guardianship, but I see them more as a spiritual and moral guide. Whether religious or otherwise."

"What did you mean about circumstances?"

"We're assuming the children would need a guardian as they are now. What if it's in five or even ten years' time?"

"I don't even want to think about having ten year olds," Jane said, groaning.

"In ten years TJ will be a teenager, making Tommy's situation different to his current one. Frankie may be settled in a long-term relationship by then, and would be ready to take on two children. As for your mother, the more time passes, the older she will become, making her less of a suitable candidate. Cailin may be more settled, though depending on the field of medicine she chooses, I would be concerned that she might be overworked."

"In other words," Jane said. "We're no closer to having a person than we had this morning."

"I think we should put clauses on suitability depending on different scenarios." Jane frowned. Maura raised her eyebrows and stared at her. "We write it into our will that if something was to happen in ten to thirteen years' time, and Tommy doesn't have any more children, then he would be a suitable candidate. If it happens any later than ten years from now, then I would discount your mother."

"And if Cailin is in a stressful field of medicine, then it would depend on whether she's got a stable relationship with someone who can give our kids what they need."

"Exactly."

"How do we write all that?"

"It's easy enough," Maura said. "We should discuss it further. But not tonight, you look like you're about to fall asleep. How about I run you a bath and we can have an early night?"

"You are the best." Jane stood up, rested a hand on Maura's shoulder and kissed her cheek. She ambled across to the couch and flicked on the television. "Shout me when it's ready."

x

"Lucy's settled at a foster family," Jane said, running a towel across her damp hair and curling up in her spot on the bed.

Maura grabbed another towel and tucked it under her, covering up her pillow. "I know how much you hate a wet pillow."

"Thanks," Jane said, rolling onto her side as Maura settled onto the bed beside her. "What would I do without you?"

"Eat pizza and have permanently wet pillows?" Maura asked. Jane snorted. Maura reached out and drew circles on her cheeks, moving her hands slowly across Jane's neck and down to the edge of her shoulder. She moaned softly, closing her eyes. Maura leaned forward and replaced her hands with her lips, trailing kisses across her skin.

"No," Jane said, pushed against her shoulder. Maura sat back. "I feel gross."

"You look radiant."

"I don't feel it." Jane groaned. "Look at me, I'm the size of an elephant."

"Elephants weigh between 2700 kilograms and 6000 kilograms, depending on the species. You probably weight around sixty-five kilograms"

"Sixty –seven, but I feel like six thousand and seven kilograms," Jane said, lifting up the bottom of her pyjama shirt and circling her hands across her bump. "Look at me."

"You're as beautiful now as you've ever been," Maura said, covering Jane's hand with her own and resting her face against Jane's neck. "More beautiful, because you're carrying our daughters."

Jane untangled her fingers from Maura's and turned onto her other side. An ache spread across Maura's chest. "Not tonight."

"We don't have to have sex," she said, dejected.

"I know." Jane sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "I'm fat and my hair looks like straw. Maybe I should just cut it all off. There's too much of it. I hate it."

"I love your hair."

"You don't have to have it." Jane tugged the shirt back over the bump. Maura rested a hand on her arm, but she shrugged it off. "My stretchmarks have stretchmarks, my tits are like balloons that are way too big, and there's so many lines. I look like a wrinkly old elephant. I just hope these babies don't stay in as long as elephant babies."

"That's doubtful, considering gestation is twenty-two months."

"Jeez," Jane said, rolling onto her back again. "That's like two years."

"Let's just sleep," Maura said, tucking a hand around Jane's stomach.

"Not so close." Jane pushed her hand away. "I know it's stupid but I haven't had a proper shower in days and that's the first time I've had a bath since the last time you ran me one a few weeks ago. I didn't realise how much bigger and fatter I got since then."

"This is just pregnancy."

"No, it's not, it's fat."

"To store a growing baby."

"It doesn't matter, I feel gross. Maybe I should sleep in the spare room now Cailin's in the guest house."

The strain in Jane's voice made Maura feel even worse. She didn't understand where all of her insecurity was coming from. That morning she'd kissed her goodbye before they went to work, now she was acting like touching her was the worst thing possible.

"Don't do that," Maura said, her voice strained.

"Sorry." Jane sighed, and Maura felt worse. "The thought of sleeping next to another person right now is too much, I need space."

"Jane."

She sat up. Maura didn't move from her spot on the bed, despite every feeling telling her to do just that. Then Jane turned to look at her, her eyes so sure and so sad all at the same time.

"It's fine. You'll sleep better without me getting up to pee every five minutes anyway."

"But…" Maura thought her heart was going to break in two.

"Night, Maura."

"Okay." She gave in. Maura felt the sting of tears in her eyes. She just had to remind herself it was a natural part of pregnancy, and everything would go back to normal eventually. She swiped her hand across her face. "Goodnight."