Chapter Eight: Gelsemium Elegans

A/N: This chapter's songs are "Cherry Blossoms in Winter" by the Yoshida Brothers and "Koto" by CloZee. Wanted to get back to the roots of the feeling for the story and will be trying to get themed music in. Good news for lovelies; the busiest time of year has passed for work and I will now have enough energy to spend on research, inspiration, and writing once again.

Lixue leaned against the salt-soaked wood of the pier, staring into the shadowed water of the shore as the sun rose in the sky behind her. She'd been here for days, waiting and watching for her father's ship to arrive. The situation with the child-lord and his malcontent vassals had only been getting more tenuous over time – without their intervention, he'd surely face assassination, and she'd have to find another job for him with the added inconvenience of hauling around a ponderous man utterly ill-suited to travel.

The seabirds flew in lazy circles above the waves, wings held wide to catch the puffs of breath from the water, diving and fighting over the shining bodies of unfortunate fish, arguing in a cacophony of squawks. She watched them as she watched everything else, the way that she herself was watched. If she turned her head, just so, the gazes would turn away, hidden in tasks. She hadn't meant to draw attention to herself, but trouble considered itself a friend, and it followed her anyway.

In the scant weeks since the cavern of spirits beneath the temple, she had wandered her way here, discontent and restless. Minami's parting words had been less than helpful, a few comfortless platitudes and a mild suggestion that if she were to go to Lord Sesshomaru first, she would have an easier time winning him over instead of waiting. The longer she tarried, the harder it would be to convince him.

I tried going to him, and now I've got some nasty scars to show for it. She rubbed her shoulder as she thought about it, feeling the mangled strips of skin catch on the thin fabric of her clothing. He'd never struck out at me like that before… but then again, I never spoke to him like that in front of an army he was leading. Not that it excuses him.

Was it forgivable? He sent aid after, almost too late; why? He clearly recognized his scent on her. If he had wanted to, he could have simply ignored her, or had her tag along, and figured out the situation without immediately lashing out at her. He could have sent a message along with the help, explaining to her – oh gods, she couldn't finish that thought without chuckling. Sesshomaru, explain? It was like politely asking a mountain to move just a little to the right to block the sun from your eyes. Foolish, but miraculous if it worked.

And then there was the thought of finding Adisa. It was thoroughly unappealing; he had never drawn blood, and thus likely didn't know what it could do for him. He was base and disappointing. Oh, but if she could have her Adisa! He'd think of lines of inquiry, or perhaps begin his own investigation, turning her single pair of eyes into two and lengthening her reach beyond her own claws. Thinking of him made her ache, and she again thought of looking to her side, hoping to see him waiting there. He'd be there, with a smile that would say I've been here the whole time, Lady, but you didn't care to look hard enough, so I came out to see you first. He'd smile at her, and his eyes would have that hint of sadness he'd get sometimes, but then they'd go clear again and he'd tell her his latest tale of mystery and espionage.

Of course, her hopes were faint, and she knew they'd curl away as soon as she turned her head, so she stared ahead a while longer, letting the hope flutter in her heart that maybe she wasn't alone again.

Maybe she'd wake up in Sesshomaru's warmth, curled up in his chest with his mokomoko draped along her naked body, the foe vanquished and nothing but a peaceful birdsong outside of her window. Nothing to move her from her mate.

Maybe she'd hear Adisa's voice in her ear, the gentle conspirator's tone he reserved for her alone telling her that it was just a bad dream and she'd better get up soon if they wanted to have grand adventures. He'd tease her by pretending to fetch a stick with which to poke her into waking, scurrying away from her irritation with a fiendish hyena-cackle.

This is foolish, she chided herself, shutting her eyes against the telltale prickling and heat. Pining for the past won't do anything but distract me. I have to do what I can today. That's… that's all I can do.

oOxXxOo

"Ah, my girl, you are nearly unrecognizable in that garb," her father smiled at her, his arms held wide. She went to him willingly, embracing his larger frame, his clothes smelling of salt. "Don't tell me that that's what the family you're staying with chose for you."

"Papa, I'm not staying with any family. Where did you get an idea like that?" She pulled away and looked at him quizzically. He looked at her with the same expression.

"Don't tell me you've been sleeping in an inn every night since you left? That's a waste of money!"

"No, Papa, I've been sleeping outdoors." She grinned at him, his mouth agape in shock. "It's not so bad. People don't tend to bother enormous, fiery tigers in the woods." Nevermind that for nearly half that time, selfsame tiger was sick and dying in the mud… a thought that would not make her father feel any less concerned, so she kept it to herself.

"This is very sweet," a feminine, confident voice slid across Lixue's ear, the easy and joyful air of her reunion with her father snapping taut and brittle. Her father's face fell as her expression hardened. "How I would dearly love for you to greet me half so happily!"

Lixue gave a stiff bow to the speaker, her eyes hard. "Good day, Madame Dai Ju. It has been too long."

Her mother gave a pretty sigh, lifting her decorative fan to cover her face as she spoke, the shimmering fabric of her elaborate garb shifting as she moved. Her features were beyond the mere description of beauty; her face smooth and milky, delicately painted, her pointed ears delicate as shells. Her eyes, silver, shining peacefully and regretfully, the tawny tigress hiding in the brush. The people slowed and stared, bowing respectfully to her from the sheer force of her presence. "Really, my dear, I wish you would at least call me 'mother'. Why must you always greet me so coldly?"

"Any distance between us could be amended, Madame, would that my grievances be removed. As it stands, however…" Lixue straightened, her mother's stripes a reflection of her own. "I cannot overlook it."

"Please, Lixue, it isn't worth estranging your mother over." Her father laid a gentle palm on her shoulder, before immediately removing it. "I've spoken to you about… is… is that a wound on your shoulder?!"

"It's healed." Damn, he found out. "I've had worse." A lie, of course; she'd been wounded worse, but the nature of this wound – and the poison in it, specifically – made it much, much more visible a scar than she would have liked. She would have to wait before she could show this one off.

"Wherever did you get it?" He turned her to face him, and she pulled free of his grip, huffing in exasperation.

"Nowhere. We're causing a scene. Let's get moving. I trust you brought travelwear instead of… that?" She gestured at her parents' ornate clothing.

He made a face as though to protest her changing the subject, but her mother gave her a knowing look. Lixue stared back at her, her defiance causing her mother's eyes to crinkle along the edges in amusement. Their ages were far dissimilar, but the elder tigress barely looked a day beyond what Lixue had once been. Even now, a trail of tiny white flowers peeked their heads from the cracks in the wood where she had walked along the pier, fragile stems blowing in the gusts of sea breezes. Fishermen stopped to gape at them, picking them in wonderment, only to have them turn to dust in their fingers. These tiny dust flowers followed her mother always, just one part of her deep, vain power.

oOxXxOo

Her father leaned out of the window of the carriage to speak to his daughter placidly strolling along outside.

"I won't ask you again to get in… you'll only refuse. But it's against my will that you walk, I'll have you know."

His argument was weak, and she informed him thus.

Her mother laughed, and she also peered from behind the window's cover. "You weren't exaggerating, Chao. Beyond her color and her wit, she's entirely my side of the streak."

"That's why she won't get along with you. You're too similar."

Lixue scowled. "I don't betray the heart of a good man in favor of easy thrills with another."

"You're too naïve, young one. Other demons might be content to spend their lives with just one other, but tigers, we are more. There cannot be satisfaction in stagnation. We fight, and we feed, and we seek challenge." She hissed in carnal pleasure, remembering some lover recently departed. "You cannot consider yourself complete until you have seduced a conqueror's heart and forced its submission, drunk deeply of its vigor, and then devoured him whole as his final offering to you, given gladly. There is no finer meal. No finer example of what it is to be demon. To be tiger."

Chao watched his mate, his hand relaxing on the cushion beneath him. Lixue couldn't see his expression, but heard his breathing catch.

Her mother purred, a thought occurring. "Though, perhaps, you do know what it is to be tiger. I smell a mate's scent, yet see no sign of him, heard no word. You are apparently of great power now. Perhaps this power comes from a mate devoured…?"

Lixue growled, an unexpected protectiveness rising from her gut. "You will not speak of him. I'm not like you."

"Then perhaps that's why he's left you."

"Dai Ju!" Her father's exclamation rose above his daughter's snarl.

Lixue nearly dove through the window, eyes flashing as she clung to the carriage, the horses startling and breaking into a canter as she gripped the wood to splinters. The driver cursed, trying to get the frightened beasts under control.

"What do you know of what I am? My lifetime extends beyond your knowledge, my trials great and victories greater. I am tigress, I am Empress, a nation carved into pieces and burned to ash that would not kneel. You are small, your presence an irritation, your words unwanted and your fickle heart unburdened." She turned to her father, who looked to be on the verge of tears, frustration and pain on his face. She released the carriage, trying to release her anger with it, looking somewhere where she didn't have to see his expression. "…Do not speak to me of what a tiger is when you grow fat on sacrifice with nothing sacrificed of your own."

"Very interesting." Her mother's voice was calm. Light. "I believe that is the most you have ever spoken to me in a single sitting. Must I antagonize you every time so you will speak to me?"

"Don't pretend that you are trying to reach out to me."

"Lixue, Dai Ju, please. This fighting won't help anything."

"Why'd you bring her, anyway? She has no place in the negotiations I've set up for you."

"Darling, have I no say in seeing what my mate is up to?"

"You only call him your mate when it's convenient for you."

"I always call him my mate. He just isn't always my only mate."

"I've had enough of this. I'm going ahead."

"Wait, Lixue…!"

He leaned out of the carriage to call to her, but she was already gone, her penchant for disappearing still holding strong. Chao sat back down with a huff, glaring at his mate, who fanned herself unconcernedly. She watched him, the predatory gaze from her perfect features more than a little unsettling.

"Let her go, Chao. She needs time to piece her temper together and figure out a new way to approach it. Probably employing some sort of violence. She'll be fine, she'll meet us ahead."

"You didn't have to provoke her. I didn't want you two to fight – that's not why I brought you."

"You don't realize something very important, Chao. That's not the daughter you rose. You said so yourself; she's someone else."

"She's still my daughter!"

"Yes, but a daughter that is no longer in need of you coddling her. She isn't soft, a pretty princess hidden away in your castle for a prince to come someday. She is a warrior princess, and she has tasted battle many times. I can see it in her eyes."

She turned her gaze away from him, peering contemplatively into the forest. "She is my daughter, as much as she'd like for it to be a lie. I had her for you, to ease your loneliness, to give you the family you wanted. But she's nothing like you at all, is she? You raised her, cared for her all on your own, taught her all of your gentleness. Then she runs off and leaves you to taste the blood that calls for her, just as I did. Still do."

"That isn't her fault. Before that night, she was content being with me. She never ran far, and always came back."

"Where did your daughter go, then, that night that this stranger comes in?"

"She's not a stranger. She's just… different than she was. I still love her."

"I never questioned that you did. You are a faithful man in every aspect."

"Is that a compliment…? I'm never sure with you."

"If you'd like it to be, why not think of it as one?"

"I'd rather it be intended as one than have to pretend."

"Your honest heart will be the death of you, my sweet Chao."

oOxXxOo

Lixue leaned against the table before the inn's fire, sullenly watching her teacup as the wisps of steam disappeared into the air.

"I should have just killed him now. Spared him a worse fate later."

Her father rubbed her back comfortingly. "It wouldn't have made a difference. Then there'd just be two bodies instead of one."

"Three if I killed that one too."

He laughed uneasily, noticing that the other patrons had moved away in alarm at their talk of bodies.

"Let your mother have her fun. They're willing, she's willing. There's no harm being done tonight." He lifted her face to look at it, a peaceful smile on his face. "I've come to terms with it, cub. She never promised faithfulness to me, nor could I ask it. Besides… it's thanks to her that I have you."

The tigress touched his hand, drawing some measure of calm from it. "Papa… I remember everything now. From my life before."

He withdrew, his tone curiosity and dread. "You do? What was it like?"

She tried to laugh but only managed a dry half-bark. "Bloody. I guess some part of your Lixue still hangs around, because I am incredibly patient now."

"Patient…? Who was it who just caused me to pay for damages to a carriage?"

"Here, I'll tell you the short version of what happened. No questions until after, please." She cleared her throat and began to speak.

She spoke of the priest's mirror taking part of her soul, first, then had to backtrack and explain his death and why this particular priest had such a vendetta for her, and what had happened in her conquest. She told of taking ships back and forth between the mainland and Japan, and the fateful sea-demon that had destroyed the ship at sea. She spoke of thirst, swimming to land, and painting mustaches on the wanted posters (that ended up not working anyway). She recounted swallowing the shard, and the bone-binding (skipping the time-travelling miko), and the accidental binding to Sesshomaru (glossing over the fact that they had known each other long, long beforehand). She sneered her lip at the mention of the magnolia petals, and laughed as she recalled how many suits of armor and weapons she had gone through. Training the tiny human girl that always spoke in third person, first as a way to pass the time, then as a way to spend time with her as time went on, eventually dying trying to protect her from the bounty hunters that had come for the price on the tiger's head (shushing her father's questions). The mirror taking her spirit away, the tree of lights and tired souls, and waking up in Sesshomaru's castle. She briefly mentioned Tenseiga, and rolled her eyes when she remembered the ridiculous fighting between the brothers (but didn't talk about it). Adisa's return to her service, Honoka's surprise visit and claims, the fight and the subsequent march home for her and her hyena. The blackmail from the half-demon in baboon skin. The imprisonment (no details). The party, meeting Minami, drinking the Nectar of Heavenly Flowers and dancing in the bonfire. The kiss, the party crashers, the garden's destruction by Naraku's many tentacled puppets and saimyosho. Her shame, and subsequent rise above it. Sending Adisa to China alone. Devouring the wind sorceress, and observing the death of the kit. Going to Minami for advice, returning, a very tasteful glossing over of her night of heat and trials. The invasion, and being called back to China, Sesshomaru at her side.

She sipped her tea, her father's mouth slack as he listened to her. "So then, when the volcano erupts, I go along the edge of the lava and tear open the carriage, but the damn thing's a trap. I get pulled up the side of the mountain by these tentacles that don't melt and just keep regenerating, right? Over the lip, who do I see but that spider hanyou Naraku and Honoka herself, sitting in a barrier bubble thing and rubbing herself all over him, mewling about how killing me wouldn't be enough and we had to suffer or something before dropping me in the lava. I started drowning and then woke up in bed and remembering nothing but something Sesshomaru said to me once. And now I'm here."

"That's… unbelievable. Wow." He took a moment to look at her again, trying to see something in her face. "So… have you met this Sesshomaru while you've been here?..."

"Yeah, him and Adisa both. They… they aren't the same, not like they were. With Sesshomaru – you'd probably want to call him 'Lord', by the way – it's mostly his age, his personality's basically the same. Adisa, though, he's completely different. Didn't even know what is power was, as far as I could tell."

"You didn't tell him? I thought he was important."

"My Adisa is important. This one's no good. It's like expecting a warhorse and getting a knock-kneed, blind little pony. I sent him back to China some time ago, haven't seen him since."

"So… you're really not my Lixue." His shoulders slumped marginally, trying not to let her see. "Are you stuck here forever, now?"

"Well, maybe not. You remember Minami?"

He nodded glumly.

"Turns out he's… well, he's really knowledgeable about things like this, and he says that the best chance I have for him to send me back is to find out the main difference between this reality and that one. Convenient, right?"

"I have an idea about what it could be," he offered. "How did you and this Sesshomaru meet?"

"You and his father were allies, and friends later on. We grew up together."

"Eh? Me?... Who was his father?"

"The Great Dog General."

"Well… that might be the difference, then. I was supposed to meet him, once, when I was trying my hand at being a diplomat but it never came together… so… in that reality, I'm dead, but my also-dead brother-in-law is the Inu no Taisho? That's… too bad I was dead, huh?"

"Yeah, I was pretty bummed out about it. The you-being-dead part, not the related-to-him part. I didn't think about it." She itched her nose. "I was mostly concerned with… other matters relating to his son."

"So what do you think? Maybe that's the difference. I never met the Inu no Taisho, you never grew up with Sesshomaru, I was never a diplomat, I was never killed, you never took over a chunk of China, and all these other things that happened to you before."

"It's possible. I'll ask Minami next time I see him. I do want to try and talk to Sesshomaru again before then, though. All I know is what you know and what little I can recall from other-me's memories here. She didn't pay a lot of attention to current events and having the input from someone as observant as he is would really help see if that's it."

"Only Ses- Lord Sesshomaru, then? None of that Adisa fellow?"

"…No, he spent a few weeks with me and didn't really know anything. He'd be happier back with his family in China, I'm sure." She fiddled with the fabric of her clothing, reassuring herself of this truth. He wasn't the same. He'd be better off with familiar surroundings. "Though Sesshomaru's pretty preoccupied. He's leading an army right now."

"Oh, right. Kuno mentioned that there was a lot of land scuffles going on right now since the Dog General's passing. I never thought I'd be related to that at all," he laughed self-depreciatingly. "Maybe… maybe we should help him out?"

She couldn't help but laugh a little at that. He frowned at her.

"What are you laughing for? I haven't done anything hopeless insofar as being a diplomat yet. I have a spotless record."

"It's empty, that's why it's spotless. No, I'm laughing because Sesshomaru would never accept help, or thank you for it, and he'd probably rather just not waste his time talking when he could just kill everyone that's bothering him so he can get along with what he wants to do."

"That's the kind of mate you have? Why in the world weren't you with Adisa, then, if Sesshomaru's like that?"

"Well, um…" she pondered. "It's hard to explain, really. He's cold, he's taciturn, he's impatient and he isn't overly affectionate. But he cared about me, truly, and never hurt me. In fact, he killed one of my generals for being disrespectful, if I recall. Choked him, then snapped his neck."

"That sounds awful, if I'm being honest. A lack of pain doesn't mean a presence of affection." His face twisted as he regarded her. "Surely you know the difference?"

"Well, you aren't exactly a shining example of being choosy about a mate yourself." She couldn't help but get defensive, a little hurt at the image her father had of the very same man who had stayed up and held her through the night when she dreamed nightmares of miasma and force. "I hate to be cliché, but you don't know him as I do. He loves me, which is more than your mate even thinks of giving to you, since we're going to the point of insulting each other's partner."

He held up his hands in surrender. "This obviously matters to you. I withdraw my judgement… for now, anyway."

"…Sorry. I didn't mean to… you know, poke at a sore spot."

"It's okay. I kind of opened myself up for it."

The space between them grew quiet, each thinking of the strange journey that the tigress' footsteps had followed, the mother somewhere upstairs in the arms of a mortal, blissful and carnal, just a single night of many before the final feast.

Hold closely his pearl, truths given only to you, guarded and lustrous.

A/N: Please review!