Chapter Eleven: If I Wander Until I Die

A/N: So many chapters! You guys really have Xenon to thank – she came to visit me here in the US from Austria for my wedding, and we had a lot of long talks about the direction of the series. I got a lot of inspiration! The unfortunate exchange for more chapters is less words per chapter. This chapter's songs are "Blue" by Troye Sivan and "Nevergreen" by Emancipator.

Breezes always felt good when the sunlight was strong; today's was no exception, the tigress taking a moment to enjoy the feeling across her fur. Her wounds had healed quickly – naturally – and the poison had worked its way through her without issue.

It seems that I'm starting to build up an immunity to it. She grunted at the thought, her whiskers twitching as she gave a leisurely yawn and stretch, gouging the dirt beneath her paws. She opened her eyes again, the nearby demons skittering away from her argent gaze.

Sesshomaru's pace was easy enough to keep up with, unsurprisingly. They hadn't really spoken over the time they'd been together, partly because of his taciturn personality and partly because she hadn't relaxed her guard. In fact, she hadn't left her fur at all. She walked behind him as he led, ignoring questions and glances, only giving the effort to growl whenever someone decided they were bold enough to approach her with the idea of 'force' in their heads. Sesshomaru never interfered, or clarified, and eventually even the most off-base gossips had their own explanations for her presence among them, trailing along behind their lord.

She glanced at the top of his head, trying to consolidate her memories of this man with this teenaged replica. She'd never seen him at this age; a part of her was curious as to what he was like, even knowing that he likely wouldn't have been the same. Sometimes she heard him testing her scent, repeatedly, trying to confirm whatever it was he smelled. Sometimes she caught him glaring at her for no reason, often triggering him to narrow his eyes at her and walk away, to which she'd usually roll her own eyes and follow him, her enormous shadow draping itself across their mismatched footprints. Three days had already passed this way, and she was prepared for many more to come.

Lost in her thoughts, she nearly kept walking when Sesshomaru came to a sudden stop, turning to look at her. She perked her ears at him, her tail twitching as she waited.

"You will tell me your name."

Of course it's a command.

"I am Xing Lixue." At his expression's silent order, she added, "My Lord."

"What are you to me?" His hand casually rested on his sword, Tenseiga nestled behind it. "Lie and I will kill you where you stand."

She regarded him for a moment, cocking her head to study him better. Didn't he already know? Adisa had known.

He didn't appreciate the delay. "Answer."

"Yes…" she spoke roughly, her throat dry from disuse, and swallowed to clear it away. "Well, that's a difficult thing to answer quickly."

"I don't care to hear your excuses. I will not ask you again."

"Fine, then," she sighed at his irritation, which only irked him more. "In a life like this one, but not, is where I'm from – and in that life, you are my childhood companion and my mate."

"Ridiculous." He scoffed at her, but didn't draw his sword. Some part of him had known, of course. He'd said as much the last time they'd met – his instincts and his nose identified her as his mate, though he'd never seen her before in his life. "I would never demean my family's pride by taking a tiger for a mate."

She felt her hackles begin to rise against her shoulders, despite her efforts to keep them lying flat. "Sorry to disappoint your pride, but that's the truth, and you know that that's what's in my scent."

"Are you hoping that your past will repeat itself with me? I can assure you that whatever trick you've used before won't work again." His lip began to curl in distaste.

"Oh, believe me, I'd much rather go back to my Sesshomaru than one barely beyond boyhood." She swiftly dodged his sword, leaping to the side and landing softly on her paws as he followed his first strike with another, the blade whistling past her throat. "You think I'd settle for you? You're not worth half of what he is, no matter how similar you are."

"Silence!" He roared, and she snarled in response, catching his blade in her claws and slapping it away with a burst of sparks. He released it and the steel soared through the air somewhere behind him as he switched tact – a searing tendril wrapped its way around her jaw, his whip pulling her head to the ground as she glared at him, her cobalt flames coiling and roiling around her paws and shoulders.

She briefly considered the wisdom of antagonizing him, a bit late. While it was true that she was his match in strength, he was still much faster than she was, and wouldn't hesitate as she would if it came to actually taking the other's life. His instincts might protect her from him for now, but it was only a matter of time for him to work his way past them, and giving him a reason to work through them faster was not conducive to convincing him to aid her in getting back to her own time. He'd probably try to kill her first, and be rid of the irritation. Plus… she did make a deal with him. She needed to try harder to keep her temper in check.

She covered her fangs as she watched his hands, the fire's light intensifying as she attempted to calm her spirit. He withdrew the whip at her tame response, and she kept her chin against the ground, lowering her body to match, the only sound apart from the breeze and the rustle of trees the dull roar of flames.

"You will remember that your life is mine to control," his tone frigid. "Your head will never be higher than my own when I speak to you."

He placed a foot solidly on her nose, leaning forward to look her in the eye, uncaring that the heat was lifting his hair away from his face. She held his gaze, and he pressed down harder. She silently lifted her lips but forced herself to look away from the challenge in his eyes.

Apparently satisfied with her response, he casually lifted himself up onto her face and sat on her head. Briefly baffled, she didn't move.

"You will explain this other life. Walk while you do so." She could practically feel his self-satisfaction through her skull.

She lifted herself to her feet, his strange weight shifting her center of balance. She pinned her ears, and immediately felt a sharp smack on her head, communicating to her to mind her manners.

If I didn't know better, I'd say he enjoyed our conversation… If it could be called that. Smug dog.

She sighed from somewhere deep in her chest, and started walking, recounting exactly what Minami had told her, answering the occasional prompts from the inuyoukai between her ears.

The world forgot us, forgot our hearts and our love, but I remember.

oOxXxOo

He grimaced, and gripped the ropes on his wrists inside of his sleeves. This kimono wasn't made for someone of his height, and the bindings chafed against his skin. The rough-looking men who captured him – they were speaking too quickly for him to keep up, and he wished for the millionth time that he was more fluent – waved their hands and gestured to their weapons, glaring at him with open mistrust and disdain. He tried not to gag at the pungent smell coming from their unwashed bodies and gnarled, rotting teeth.

They might only be humans, but… she was right, I'm pathetic, aren't I? Adisa shook his head swiftly to clear the thoughts darkening his mind like so many rainclouds. No, look dignified. For the ruse to work, I can't look like I'm doubting my own words.

He lifted his gaze and filled his lungs, fixing his posture. They'd barely kept him alive after the ambush – the bruises had already formed and he was sure he'd be nursing a cracked rib from their vicious beating – but he had cried out in broken language that his master would pay for his life and their greed had saved him. It was only now, after the wounds were pulsing with his heartbeat and his body was restrained, that his mind was allowed to worry itself into knots. Would she pay? Could she? Would she even care? Would the idea of gold be enough to keep him alive, and for them to care for him? How would he even find her? She'd left him, clearly intending for him to go back, and he'd been trying to follow her for weeks without any success at all. By the time he'd find someone who had seen someone matching her description, her trail was long cold. He'd tried to blend in with his cheap secondhand clothes, but without any guidance or her translating, he'd quickly run out of coin and road. He'd been trying to make himself a campfire on the side of the road, failing miserably and feeling sorry for himself, when the bandits had appeared from the forest and set upon him like rabid wolves.

The light in their eyes did not die down when they looked at him. From what he could piece together, some of the bandits were against taking him to headquarters, saying it could be a trap, or that it wasn't worth the trouble to bother the boss. Others seemed to want to kill him just for the sake of killing, leering at him with rust or blood spotting their shoddy armor while he avoided their gaze. Some seemed very keen on letting him go, saying something about bait, or maybe villages. The strongest voices, though, said that it was the chief's decision, and grumbling or no grumbling, he was going to be taken before him. He felt ill; stress and fatigue were enough, but he'd suffered at their hands, and he kept swallowing the blood that was pooling in his mouth.

It was curious, though. Every time he swallowed some of his own blood, he'd… remember things, brief flashes of memory. Lately… ones of her.

She had offered him blood, once, on their journey. He'd found the idea offputting and declined emphatically, and she had sneered at him and said, 'You'll never understand if you don't understand.'

What had she been trying to say to him? He'd completely forgotten, and it seemed strange that he'd think about it now.

His thoughts were interrupted by a great crash and a cacophonous greeting, the bandits slamming their feet and their discarded armor pieces on the floor. A giant of a man stumbled his way across the room, gripping the hyena's hair and twisting his head back to grin in his face. Alcohol shone on his lips and his chest, the acrid mixture of sake and body odor provoking a dry heave from the demon's empty stomach.

He shook, hoping that even in her absence, his Lady would save him.

You fear and insult, thinking my questions uncouth. Principles falter.

A/N: Please review~