Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I love reading your theories.

One of you wanted to know how James knew that Edward had successfully bedded Bella. Was he spying into there room? Uh, no. That was only an assumption.

At any rate, everybody agrees that James is a complete cad. :)

This chapter is unbeta'ed. All mistakes are mine.

Chapter-10

(Present)

For a moment I think Edward is not going to answer. He is not meeting my eyes, and his complexion has turned a deep shade of red. Once or twice he opens his mouth, but then he closes it without saying anything.

"Edward, you are scaring me. Please tell me what it is."

He looks up finally, his expression tortured.

"I don't want to lose you, Bella. After all these years…"

"You won't lose me," I assure him. "It is not as if you have killed someone!"

He exhales sharply even as the right side of his mouth rises and twists. "It would have been better, at least in James' eyes, if I had killed someone. He would have probably overlooked it as something to do with being hot-headed and young. But what I did…Bella, have you ever heard of men who like other men?"

I blink at this question? What did it have to do with anything?

He is looking at me earnestly though, so I collect my wits and answer. "Umm, I think most men like each-other, don't they? What does that matter?"

The tension around us breaks as he laughs quietly, shaking his head. "Oh my darling wife, I keep on forgetting how sheltered you have been. Why would you know of such things?"

I am not sure if that is a good thing. Is he calling me ignorant?

As if he can read my mind, Edward becomes serious again. "I am not laughing at you, Bella. You are so good, so innocent. Sometimes I feel—no, I know that I do not deserve you. And yet…I can't stay away from you."

I look at him, perplexed with his rambling.

"Oh yes, to come back to your question," he murmurs. "I didn't mean liking someone just as a friend; I meant as a man likes—loves—makes love to a woman. It happens, sometimes. But our society considers it a crime, even a sin. It does happen, but nobody wants to talk about it. They would rather pretend that it does not exist."

I am sure my face is a picture of confusion. "Um, a man loving another man—like he would usually love a woman? No, you said making love to another man like…but how is that possible? How would he—where would he put his…" I nod towards his breeches. I may not have seen one, but I have certainly felt it. There is no way two of them can do anything together. There should be something in which a man can put his tool, shouldn't there be?

His lips twitch. "That is what you want to know? You are not disgusted in any way? You don't think such a man would be on his way to hell for going against what is natural?"

"Uh, I am not sure," I say, biting my lip thoughtfully. "I know so little about men and women, so how can I decide if lovemaking between two men is right or wrong? I can't imagine how they would manage it though."

I wish I was one of those experienced ladies who knew everything about everything, or at least most things. I must sound pathetic to Edward after having met such women in France. But when I look at him, he only looks surprised and…relieved.

"Oh Bella, you amaze me with your open-mindedness," he says finally, smiling, happy. Just seeing him happy makes me feel warm all over. "I wish more people had your sense. Unfortunately, the majority of people believe that anything or anybody different from what they believe or practice is wrong or ill or even insane. I cannot tell you how much unhappiness this narrow-mindedness has led to, how many people have been destroyed…"

He pauses as if collecting himself, then pours himself a glass of water and drinks thirstily. When he faces me again, he seems calmer.

"Bella, James beat me because he found me being intimate with another boy."

I stare at him again. "Being intimate with? He—you like boys?"

"No!" He looks horrified. "I—it was only once! I swear!" Suddenly words begin to tumble out of him. "I was very young, only fourteen. A boy from the village used to come to the stable, to help me with the horses. He was perhaps seventeen. One day he asked me if I had any experience dabbing my tool. I didn't understand, so he offered to show me. While I—uh, was following his instructions, James walked in. I think he had an errand for me. When he saw us he shouted at us, and the other boy ran away. I couldn't, of course. Where would have I gone? He lectured me how I had the devil inside me, and then he took the whip to me."

I wince. Whipping a boy—his brother's son— he was supposed to care for? I had not expected that level of cruelty even from James.

Edward's expression is a reflection of mine. Or maybe his face is the picture, as he remembers the pain, and mine is the one in the mirror.

I don't realise when I put my arms around him and hug him. I want to comfort him. I want to make him forget him the pain James had inflicted upon him.

"I am sorry he whipped you," I say softly, but he hears. His arms encircle me, while his head resting upon my shoulder. For the second time this evening, tears escape unbidden from my eyes.

"Bella?" Edward raises his head and looks at me. With a smile so sad that it breaks my heart, he wipes away my tears. "Please don't cry. It was a long time ago."

"But he hurt you, Edward, for no fault of yours! Even if you—didn't you explain to him that you were just—oh, I am so furious! I wish he would die!"

Edward looks startled at my outburst. Truthfully, I am startled too. Except Liz, I have never felt this protective of anybody. But right now, I feel as if I can cheerfully poison James' wine, or set fire to his bed. What a brute! No wonder Anthony was scared of him.

"Did it take many days to heal?"

He nods slowly. And then he takes off his shirt and turns his back to me.

I gasp at the thin white lines that are visible even in the candle light. Unbidden, my fingers stroke them, feeling no difference from the rest of his skin. But I stop when Edward shudders.

"I am sorry. I should have known you wouldn't like me touching them."

He turns to face me, and he is smiling. My eyes are drawn to his shoulders and chest. He is not stocky like some men; all the same, his shoulders are wide and his torso muscular. For some reason it makes my mouth water, and I swallow hard.

I want to touch him, but…

"Your touch is always welcome, Bella," he murmurs, taking my hands and placing them on his chest. "Go on," he says encouragingly.

I take a deep breath and let my hands wander, up to his shoulders and down again. The light brown hair lightly scattered across his skin gives it a velvety texture. It is more concentrated towards the middle, making a rough line that disappears behind his breeches. As my fingers move left and right, I can feel the shift of muscles. As they reach his nipples, I hear his breath catch. I graze the tiny protrusions with my thumbs, feeling their hardness. Edward groans audibly.

But when I try to remove my hands, he puts his own on them, keeping them prisoner against his warm skin. Under my right hand, I feel his heart beat faster.

"Keep on touching me, Bella." His voice is thick, his tone half-pleading, half-commanding. For a moment he closes his eyes. "I have dreamt of you doing this so many times—without fear, without hesitation, without interruption."

As if to prove him wrong, there is a soft knock on the door. My first thought is that James has been foolish enough to come and disturb us. If so, Edward will probably strangle him with his own cravat.

Yes, James is pompous enough to wear a cravat to dinner, even when we don't have company.

"My lady?" A hesitant tone, not James' belligerent one.

It's Alice. She must have been waiting for me to call her so she can assist me with my nightly routine.

Edward's brows rise in disbelief even as his lips rise in a lopsided smile. He looks up as if asking the heavens if this is real.

"Send her away," he says with a nod towards the door.

I am tempted to do exactly that, but…

"I need her for a few minutes, Edward, to get ready for bed. Please."

He sighs but releases my hands. "I suppose I should go to my room as well, for a few minutes." He puts on his shirt but doesn't bother with the buttons. Then he leans forward and places a soft kiss on my lips. "I will see you very soon, my darling. And there better be no more interruptions during the night. I want you all to myself."

Leaving me a little dazed, he opens the door, nods to Alice and goes out.

A.N.I know, it was shorter than usual. But this seemed to me the right place to stop. Next chapter will be up soon.

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