I'm really bad at this updating every friday thing aren't I?
"Sing for me, Riley!"
"Finn, you know I don't like singing for people," I whine. He pouts and makes puppy dog eyes, causing me to giggle."Urgh fine!"
I begin to sing a song my mum always sings to me when I can't sleep.
"Deep in the meadow, under the willow, a bed of grass, a soft green pillow. Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes, and when they open again, the sun will rise."
I stop singing and look at Finn. He gapes at me with wide eyes and a large smile. I giggle again.
"Your singing is amazing, Riley! I don't know why you don't like singing in front of people. You could be famous!" he exclaims. My cheeks begin to red and I shake my head.
"I don't like people hearing me sing. I get embarrassed," I explain.
"I heard."
I sit up in bed with a start, tears threatening to fall. I take deep breaths but when I realise my attempts are useless I get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. I splash my face with water. This is the second night I've had flashbacks. I stare at myself in the mirror. I put my hair into a messy bun to try and get the heat off my neck. I'm going to struggle to hide the dark circles under my eyes, but I'll have to ask Maddie to cover it up. Sighing, I tiptoe back to my room.
I check the time. 3:30 am. Rolling my eyes I sit at my desk and pull out my sketch pad. My desk is right under my window that faces the other window of Finn's room. I pull open my curtains to let some moonlight in. Finn's curtains are also open and his light is on, but he's nowhere to be seen.
I begin to sketch. I draw the young girl and boy from the dream. They sit on a grassy hill under a large oak tree, both in t-shirts and shorts. They're both laughing. I shut my eyes to picture it more vividly. The colours become clearer and I smile.
I open my eyes, intent on reaching for my coloured pencils and let out a small scream. I clamp my hand over my mouth and look at my door to make sure no one heard me. Once I'm sure no one did, I open my window. The sound of Finn's laughter fills my ears.
"That wasn't funny!" I scold, quietly.
"It- so- was-" he says between laughs. I scowl and shut my curtains. "Oh come on, Rye, it was pretty funny!" I hear him call. I can't help it; a small smile appears on my face. I open my curtains again and glare at him. "What are you doing, anyway?"
"Drawing," I say simply, going back to my pad.
"At three thirty in the morning?" he asks.
"Yes."
"Do you always make it this hard to have conversations?"
"Yup."
He chuckles quietly and I look up. "What are you doing?" I ask.
"Couldn't sleep. New house, no sea; it's difficult, y'know?" He shrugs and pulls up a chair. I smile sadly.
"Do you miss District 4 already?" He nods. "What about your friends?" He nods again. "Did you.. uh- did you have a girlfriend?" I try to sound casual but my question comes out strained. A small smile graces his lips and I look down, pretending to be concentrating on my sketch.
"I didn't, no," he says. "What about you? Do you have a boyfriend?" He coughs, like me, trying to make it sound casual.
"Me? Have a boyfriend?" I laugh. He frowns. "Uh, no, I don't."
"How come?"
"Are you serious?"
"Did I stutter?"
I look up, startled. He sounded sharp and his face is serious. "Do you really want me to answer that question?" I ask. He doesn't answer but continues staring. I sigh and put down my pencil. "You want to know why I haven't got a boyfriend? Ok. Because I'm me. I read. I'm shy. I dress like a guy. I don't wear makeup. I haven't got big boobs or a nice ass. I'm not pretty. I'm not like other girls. I'm… invisible. And, d'you know what? I like it that way."
I don't wait for his answer. I get up, shut my window and shut my curtains. Letting out a shaky breath, I sit back down. I bite my lip and blink away tears. I don't understand why I'm acting like a hormonal teenage girl, It's really not like me. I hate the way I've been acting.
"You're such an idiot, Rye!" I groan. I lean forward and pull the corner of the curtain back slightly. Finn sits with his head in his hands. He looks up and I drop the fabric again.
A banging at my door wakes me. I sit up with a start. I must've fallen asleep at my desk after trying to come up with how I was going to explain myself to Finn. Rubbing my eyes, I shout that I'll be down for breakfast soon.
After a quick shower, I dress in my usual gear and run down the stairs.
"Cutting it close today," Mum comments.
I grab an apple and my board and run out the house, yelling a goodbye. I run down the steps and up to Finn's house. I'm about to knock on the door when it opens. Finn stands there with his backpack and a smile.
"I was beginning to think you weren't going to show."
"Come on, I'm already running late." I grab his wrist and drag him out the house.
We make our way to school, walking quickly. The silence is awkward again.
"I'm sorry," we both say at the same time. We laugh again.
"What are you sorry for?" he asks.
"I shouldn't have unloaded all of that on you. And the way I left things last night… it was uncalled for. I-"
"No, it was uncalled for, for me to ask you that. I shouldn't have been so insensitive."
"You weren't insensitive. You were just curious. I shouldn't have snapped the way I did."
He stays quiet for a while. We reach the steps leading into the school and he stops.
"I thought about what you said last night, a lot. And I just thought you should know that… because you're not like other girls, makes you so much more special. And that… you're not invisible, to me."
And with that, he's gone, leaving me standing on the steps.
"You're late, Miss Mellark," Mrs Seeder says. I freeze in my attempt to sneak into class. How did she even see me? She had her back turned!
"Sorry, Miss," I say.
"Tardiness is bad manners, Miss Mellark. Don't let it happen again. Take your seat."
I quickly walk to my desk at the back of the class and slide down, keeping my face hidden. Something pokes me in my side and I turn to see what I was.
"You look like shit, Rye. How much sleep did you get last night?" Maddie whispers. I shrug and cover my mouth to hide my yawn. Throughout class, I struggle to stay awake; Maddie has to poke me more than once.
I make it to lunch and by now I've gotten my second wind. We sit under the oak tree with our lunch. After about half an hour Maddie asks the question that's been playing on my mind the whole time.
"Where's Finn?"
"Um, I don't know. He said he made some friends yesterday. Maybe he's with them?" Maddie looks unconvinced.
"Did something happen?"
I sigh. "I don't think so. But we keep having these moments. Like one minute we'll be fine, acting like new friends should but then he'll say something and…"
"Things like what?"
"Well, last night for example, I couldn't sleep and evidently, neither could he. He asked me why I haven't got a boyfriend and I snapped a little. Said it was because I wasn't like other girls and that I was invisible. Then this morning he told me because I'm not like other girls makes me special and that I wasn't invisible to him."
Maddie begins squealing loudly and laughing like a maniac. "Don't you see?! He likes you!"
"He's known me for two days, you can't be serious. Mad, calm down, jeez!" I exclaim.
"Yeah, Maddie. Calm down, I mean, Orion has a point. Who would ever like her?" a cold voice says from behind me. Maddie's laughs stop and her face turns cold.
"What do you want, Marina?" I ask, my voice small. I don't dare turn around.
"I came to talk to you about the new boy. Finley, is it?"
"Finn."
"Same dif. I was just wondering, what was a guy like him doing hanging with a girl like you?" Her calm voice sends chills through my body. I build up enough courage to turn around.
Marina is everything I'm not. She's got the boobs, the bleach blonde hair, the full lips, the fluttery eyelashes. And contrary to popular belief, she's very smart. The only difference in her beauty and Maddie's beauty is that she's fake. Fake all over. And yet she's the hottest girl in school.
"I don't know. Why don't you ask him yourself?"
"Oh, I would have, but I didn't want to seem too forward. It's better to dig around in the dirt first, if you know what I mean." A cruel smile plays on her lips. Yes, Rye. She did just call you dirt. My mind is in overdrive. "You're useless as usual. No wonder Finn's hanging out with the right crowd now."
"Wait, Finn's with you?" Maddie asks, completely bewildered.
"He wised up. Now, out of my way, Freak." She kicks my shoulder, knocking me over and struts past, her friends doing the same.
I sit back up and brush myself off.
"One day, I'm going to hit her. And hard," Maddie growls. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." My words come out in a whisper. Tears are about to spill down my face so I quickly gather up my bag and run for it. I hear Maddie calling after me but I just keep running.
I make it to my locker and I grab my board. I slam it shut but as I turn, the first thing I see stops me from running in that direction. Finn stands with a large group of people; Jocks and popular girls. He's laughing and joking with them. He sees me and smiles but I don't smile back. I just run the other direction, Marina's words ringing in my ears.
What was a guy like him doing hanging with a girl like you?