Thank you for your awesome response to the last chapter. You understood that the kiss was an emotional moment for Edward and Bella, and that they are tied to their positions.
Many thanks to the guest reviewer who very kindly pointed out that Germany as we know did not exist in the early 1800s, so Lord Delaney couldn't have visited it. I have changed it to Prussia, as she suggested.
Garrett didn't have a surname in the Twilight books, but in ff he has been given the last name of Nomad some times. The closest British name I could find in that period was Norman. Similarly, Villiers was the closest name to Volturi. It was actually a titled family as well.
Chapter-19
Kate was distraught; dramatically so.
"Oh, Bella," she wailed as soon as I entered my home, still trying to tie my hair in a bun. "I am so sorry. I didn't mean you any harm, truly I didn't. I was just being impatient with your slow pace, and I wanted you to see you could go much faster and it is much more fun that way. When Rosalie took off with you, I was so scared!" And she burst into tears.
I stared at her dumbfounded as she lay elegantly, supporting her arm and head along the back of the velvet-covered sofa. If a painter would have chanced to look upon her, he would have painted a picture of her titled Beautiful Misery.
Lady Delaney, who was stationed on another sofa nearby, nodded vigorously. "She is truly remorseful, Isabella. When she came back from the riding, she was so out of breath that I could not understand a word she was saying. It was with great difficulty that I made her have some wine to calm her nerves. Please say that you forgive her or she will be agitated again."
"Of course I forgive her," I said, feeling tired of the histrionics of both mother and daughter. None of them had asked me if I was all right. All they were concerned with was their own delicate feelings, or at least Kate's. If I didn't see them again in my whole life, it would be a great joy to me.
Lady Jane came down the stairs that moment. I knew she spent most of the afternoon with her children. She was so affectionate with them!
"Isabella, what happened to you?" she asked in a worried tone as she came near me and took my hands in hers. "Have you been hurt? You have a scratch on your forehead."
Her kindness almost made me cry. I had to swallow before I could answer her.
"Thank you, Jane. I fell from my horse when she bolted, but I don't think I am injured. I do feel somewhat light-headed though. And I am sure my clothes and hair are muddy and stained from the damp grass."
"Oh dear!" she exclaimed, her eyes full of concern. "You could have been badly hurt. Do you need help with anything? Shall I escort you to your room?"
Mrs Stanley, whose silent presence I had not noticed until then, stepped forward. "May I suggest my lady to proceed to her room with Lady Villiers? I will arrange a hot bath for you meanwhile. It will help with the aches too."
Pragmatic as ever, I thought. But at least she was showing some kind of concern for me!
"Thank you, Mrs Stanley, and Jane. I think that will be very helpful."
"Isabella," interrupted Lady Delaney rather loudly. "I think you should not mention this little tumble to Anthony. Men are such absurd creatures. He will make a great fuss over nothing, and then it will reach my husband's ears, and well, it might lead to a strain in their business relations."
Kate produced another pitiful cry at her words.
"There, there, my child, no need to make yourself sick over such a trivial incident," cooed Lady Delaney while the rest of us gawked at her. "Isabella has already forgiven you. Why don't you take a nap in your room and come down when you are rested? And wear something petty for dinner. It will cheer you up!"
Jane shook her head, in astonishment I suppose. None of us said anything though. What could one say in the face of such audacious behaviour?
We went to my room, and Jane kept me company while my bath was being drawn. Then she left, and Mary helped me take my riding clothes off and step into the bath. She clucked over the state of my hair and started to wash it, her hands gentle around the bump she said she could feel. I hadn't felt anything before, but my head was starting to ache.
The soak did help with the soreness I could feel in my back muscles. Mary brought me a soothing cup of tea after I was out of the tub, and insisted that I lie down for a bit before I was to get ready for diner.
I was only too happy to comply, not only because of the aches in my body but also because I wanted time to think.
The kiss with Edward had been so wonderful, but it was so wrong. I wished Anthony would kiss me with that kind of passion, but then I felt guilty for even thinking such a thing. After all, husbands and wives did not lie together because they had passionate feelings for each-other. It was their marital obligation to further their family tree. Men got some enjoyment out of the act because it was easy for them; women didn't. That's the way it was.
The way Edward had kissed me was probably what noblemen reserved for their mistresses. They were the ones who fulfilled their need when their wives could not because they were indisposed, or in family way, or too busy with their social obligations.
Uh, I wished that I had not tasted that kind of passion! My life would have been much simpler without it. I would have been content to be a dutiful wife and a caring mother, living by a set of rules set by our society. Anthony's friends would have accepted me eventually. My life would have been uneventful, but satisfying.
Why did I have to feel this attraction to Edward? Why did I have to invite this emotional upheaval into my life?
By the time I got up to dress for dinner, I had decided that I would forget that kiss in the woods. I would also avoid Edward as much as possible. Any other option was unthinkable.
Mary did my hair again, curling it softly before pinning it up in a way that a few curls covered the scratch on my forehead. I had no desire to cause bad blood between Anthony and Lord Delaney.
Dinner was pleasant enough, except that Edward's manner towards Lady Delaney as well as Kate was cold to the point of being glacial. Kate did try to engage him in light-hearted conversation twice, but his answers, though courteous, were extremely brief. She gave up after that and directed her attention to Garrett instead.
The only awkward moment was when Garrett praised Kate's riding skills.
"I have seen her riding only on two days, when she joined us for the hunt," he said warmly. "But I can confidently say that she is a horsewoman of superior nature. I have never seen a young woman make her horse gallop quite like that!"
"Indeed," drawled Edward, his tone lazy but his face set in stone, "I must agree with you there. Kate can make any horse gallop hard. It is a most unusual skill."
Kate turned pale, but smiled weakly. Garrett cocked his head towards Edward, his expression puzzled. Even Anthony paused in his discussion with Lord Delaney and threw Edward a questioning glance.
However, Edward simply shook his head once, and Anthony did not press the topic.
Lady Delaney made a silly comment on the necessity of riding well, and the topic was dropped. I sighed, relieved that it did not lead to any drama.
When it was bedtime, I waited for Anthony for a while and then went to sleep. It had happened before that he had come to bed quite late, or not at all on some nights. I was disappointed though that I was not being given a chance to make up for my momentary lapse of judgment.
In the morning, Mary brought me a note from my husband while I was readying myself for breakfast. It was short, but very sweet. Anthony had explained that he had come to know of my accident and wished to give me a few days to recover from it. Therefore he would not be visiting me until I felt absolutely fine.
I would have let him know that there were no lingering ill-effects from the accident, except a few aches. And a slight bruise on my hip that Mary had pointed out while helping me with my bath. However, I thought that he might take it as not appreciating his gesture.
Also, I knew that my time of the month was approaching, perhaps in two or three days. Anthony would have stopped his visits then in any case. So I wrote back a suitable reply, thanking him for his consideration and adding that I should be in perfect health by the end of that week.
"Did his lordship mention how he learnt of the accident, Mary?" I asked curiously.
"No, my lady. Perhaps it was Mrs Stanley?"
I hummed. It was possible, of course. Lady Delaney had only commanded me not to mention the accident to Anthony. Mrs Stanley was under no obligation to follow her directive. However, I could not understand why the housekeeper would take it upon herself to go against Lady Delaney's wishes. What did she stand to gain from it?
As the day passed, it became obvious to me that Anthony must have spoken with Lord Delaney on the matter, and he must have had words with his wife. Lady Delaney seemed rather subdued, being coldly polite to me but speaking little on the whole. It was a welcome relief!
As for Edward, it was not difficult to avoid him. I already had a suitable excuse for not going riding, so Anthony didn't ask me any questions regarding my decision. And perhaps Edward could pretend to be too busy to teach me later on. At any rate, he did not approach me, though he maintained a friendly air.
Three days passed, then four, and then five, but there was no sign of the monthly visitor. When days continued to pass without any spotting in my underclothes, I began to have doubts. At the end of the week, Mary smiled and congratulated me, for it seemed almost certain that I was going to be a mother.
I sent a note to Anthony informing him of the possibility, and he appeared in my room that night after dinner, to congratulate me and make me promise that I would take good care of myself during the pregnancy.
I thanked him shyly, but I had a request for him.
"My lord, I would prefer to keep this news to our family for now. Somehow I am not comfortable with the idea of sharing it with our guests."
He nodded in agreement. "I don't wish to share with them either. In fact, Mary tells me that we should wait for at least another month before announcing the joyful news to the family, as it takes some time for the baby to stabilise."
"First babies can be unpredictable, my lady," added Mary. "We will pray to the Lord that the child remains healthy and well, but sometimes they are lost before being born. Therefore, it is advisable to wait a little before letting others know. Also, some people cast evil spells on expecting women."
"Does that mean I should not tell my mother?" I asked doubtfully. Surely there could be no harm in that!
"I suppose that should be all right," said Anthony slowly. "Please ask her to keep it to herself for the time being though."
"She will understand the reason, my lady," assured Mary. "Mothers do a lot for their children. This will be a very small thing for her."
I agreed, but I did request Anthony to invite my mother to the estate as soon as the guests had left. To my relief, Lord Delaney had regretfully informed Anthony that they must cut their visit short due to his presence being required elsewhere. Therefore, they would leave Masen estate within two days.
He agreed easily, looking really happy at the prospect of becoming a father. Then he surprised me by asking if it would be all right with me to invite Edward's mother as well. Not on the same day as mine, of course.
"Well, of course it is all right," I answered. "But will she be interested in visiting me? We don't know each other well, I am afraid."
Anthony sighed. "She is rather reclusive, yes. But she will certainly wish to congratulate you. She was very affectionate to me after I had lost my mother. I think we should let her know."
I nodded. It was true that I did not know Anthony's aunt, but I saw no harm in meeting her.
And there was no need to find an excuse for not riding with Edward, since I wouldn't be riding at all until I had had the baby and recovered completely from the ordeal.
A.N. Thank you for reading!
I am about to finish reading 'Come Back Tomorrow' by Shadow Masen. What a story it is!