Chapter-23
The next two weeks pass quickly. Edward's passion for me does not diminish, nor my desire for him. In fact, it only increases with time. The nights are the best, because we are together then, and though we know there are other people in the manor, we like to pretend that we are alone for a few hours. Neither our daily tasks nor our responsibilities to the estate can interfere with our closeness.
Sometimes we make love in a hurry, impatient to take our clothes off and immerse ourselves in each other. The candle light no longer bothers me. Instead I learn to appreciate Edward's body—lean, hard, his muscles flexing above me with every movement. I learn his reactions too. When I tug at his hair, he makes a sort of growling sound. When I scratch his back lightly, he increases his pace.
At other times, we do it slowly, leisurely, worshipping each other's body with tender caresses and sweet kisses. We don't even care if we reach that blissful stage of climax because the whole journey is delightful. Well, Edward mostly does; he says it is almost impossible for a man not to. He is always ready to bring me the same pleasure, but sometimes I just want to drift off, revelling in his closeness, the feel of his skin against mine, his smell surrounding me.
Whenever I take the initiative, it pleases Edward greatly. He is also very eager to try anything new. Whether it is both of us sitting on a cushioned chair or I lying down on the bed on my stomach while he stands behind me and holds onto my thighs, he is always suggesting new positions. Even if I find them strange at first, I trust him and know they would bring me pleasure.
He does shock me once, when he suggests that he will put his mouth on me. I cannot imagine a man doing such a thing. When he notices my reluctance, he says that I should take it as an experiment. If I do not like it, he will not repeat it in the future.
However, once I relax and let him do what he wants to, I must say that I enjoy it, very much so. After thinking about it for two nights, I ask him if I can do the same for him. He looks at me as if I have offered the world to him!
I am somewhat cautious in my approach, but he doesn't lose patience. In fact, he is extra gentle with me, encouraging me but also reminding me that I can stop any time I want to. I am proud to say that I take him almost to the end, when he orders me to move away and finishes the rest with his hands.
When I ask him where he learnt all these things, he mumbles something about a book called Kamasutra he got his hands on while he was living in France. I am not sure whether to believe him or not. Is it possible that a wise man in ancient India observed people and wrote a whole book about intimacy and it various forms? How was it that nobody stopped him from making it public? Was it meant only for men, or were woman allowed to read it as well?
I say that nights are the best, but that does not mean that I like the days any less. We work as a team, supporting the other person even though our tasks are very different. Sometimes we don't see each other all day, but it only makes the evening sweeter.
And always he makes time for Lizzie in the morning, however pressing the day ahead may be. Her smile lights up the room when she sees us after the breakfast, and the time we spend outdoors is so very enjoyable. We ride and talk and Lizzie and I sometimes wander in the garden when Edward is busy with work. The summer days stretch long and lazy, and we chat with the gardener about the new flowering shrubs he has planted in this season.
One day we take Lizzie to Elizabeth's house so that she can see where her grandmother lives. She is as excited as a grown up would be to be going on a world tour, perhaps more.
Elizabeth welcomes us warmly, but it is quite evident that most of her attention is fixed on Lizzie. She answers all the questions her new granddaughter has, not just patiently but happily, and there are many of them. Has she always lived in this house? Where did she live before? Where are her parents now? Does she see them sometime?
The paintings on the first floor and some of the sketches bring on more questions. She wants to know if there is any picture of Anthony as a child, becomes sad when I tell her that no, the only picture we have of him is when he was a grown up. However, the next second the sadness is chased away by another question. Can she have a picture of her, with all her dolls? Maybe one in which Edward and I are also sitting with her?
I am hesitant to have my portrait painted, but both Elizabeth and Edward think it is an excellent idea. While Lizzie is telling me which might be the best garden for us to sit for the picture, they are deciding upon which painter to invite to the mansion. Their enthusiasm makes me smile.
Elizabeth asks Edward if he had any plans to invite guests to the estate this summer, but he shakes his head.
"I want to have this time to ourselves, Mamma," he answers. "In fact, I do not care much for James' idea of inviting so many people to our house. I realise that it brings revenue to the estate and provides employment to the villagers, but now that we are going to breed and sell horses and expand the stables, much of that will be taken care of."
He addresses me then, asking if I agreed with the idea of having fewer guests during the summer. "I would prefer to invite people whom we like and are friends with," he explains earnestly. "Why should we impose upon ourselves company that we don't care for? But it is up to you, Bella. If you like having guests all summer…"
I don't, and I tell him that I agree with him completely. We will continue with the Christmas ball, of course, but even that might not be as large as it used to be.
Speaking of balls, today is the one we have been invited to, by my aunt Esme and her husband Carlisle. For a change, I am actually looking forward to it.
Edward insisted that I get a new dress made for the ball. When I very reasonably pointed out to him that I had many gowns that were perfectly suitable for the occasion, he kissed me into pliability and said we were newly married and people expected me to have a fully new wardrobe.
"Please, Bella," he murmured in my ear even as his hands roamed across my back, making me lose my train of thought. "I am not asking you to deck yourself in silks and diamonds on a daily basis; I know you don't like them. Just get a few dresses made. Please?"
By then his warmth and closeness had pretty much subdued my objections. I think I would have agreed to anything he would have asked.
"Okay," I answered. "Will you please take off your shirt now?"
He beamed at me and chucked off his clothes in a second. And I forgot what we had been speaking of and lost myself in him.
In the morning, the seamstress was there just as we were finishing breakfast.
While she was happily taking my measurements and suggesting styles, I looked at Edward with wide eyes. He smiled, gave me a chaste kiss and left us after instructing the giddy woman to make half a dozen gowns for me, suitable for different occasions.
When I mouthed 'half a dozen?' to him, he mouthed back 'you agreed last night' and winked.
Impossible. My husband is impossible to argue with, I tell you.
However, I forgive him when I see myself in the beautiful new gown the seamstress had readied for me. It is in sage green, with a wide neck and layered skirt. There are no bows or tassels as I made it clear to her that they were to be avoided at all costs. It is simple yet elegant, a compliment to the verdure of the season.
And of course it also reminds me of the deep green of Edward's eyes.
I select a silver choker with a pretty flower design in between, entwined with an emerald leaf. It is light and enhances the elegance of the gown. Matching earring adorn my ears.
Alice works her magic on my hair, curling it and pinning up most of it but leaving some strands loose on both sides so that it does not look too formal. This is a country ball after all, not one at the royal court. I do not like pastes and powders too much, so she just lightly touches my cheeks and lips with a little pink. Finally she stands back and observes her handiwork, and nods with satisfaction.
"You look beautiful, my lady. Lord Edward won't be able to take his eyes off you; though that is what happens every time he is in the same room as you."
I laugh at her cheekiness. "Alice, that is true of most men who have wed recently, is it not?"
She shakes her head emphatically. "From what I have seen of men, this is not true for everyone. I think Lord Edward loves you very much. He does not even try to hide it, whether the two of you are alone or others are present in the room. You can see for yourself this evening, how different he is from other men."
Her words touch me deeply. Of course I am aware that Edward loves me; he has told me many times. However, I had not imagined that it was evident to others too. Or maybe it is that Alice is unusually perceptive?
However, as soon as I see Edward in the hall, it is clear that I at least will not be able to take my eyes off him at the party. He is beautiful always, but right now he looks breath-taking in his dark grey coat and pantaloons. A sea-green vest peeps from inside his coat, and he is wearing a dark cravat under his white shirt. His hair is slicked back, hat ready in his hand.
All I can think of is that I want to take off every article of clothing off him and muss up his hair. And then to kiss his lips until they are as red as the apples in his favourite dessert.
While these very inappropriate thoughts are passing through my head, making me forget to greet him, he raises an eyebrow at me.
"My lady." His tone is teasing as he bows to me and offers me his arm, but I keep on staring at him. He begins to fidget under my gaze.
"Is there something wrong, Isabella?" He brushes his coat as if he has suddenly found a speck of dirt on it. I shake myself into the present.
"Not at all, my lord, I was just admiring you in your evening clothes," I answer rather boldly. At least it is not a complete lie.
He looks pleased, even though his face takes a reddish hue. "Thank you. I was just about to say how beautiful you look this evening."
"Thank you. I am looking forward to our evening together," I say, suppressing my smile at his expression. He is so composed in front of others that it is fun to see him flustered at something I have said or done.
Though of course he is quite good at teasing me and doing outrageous things, so it is all fair.
There is already a long line of carriages in front of my aunt's fine-looking house. There are guests walking about in the large, beautifully maintained garden, talking and laughing. Servers move among them, offering them aperitifs and dainty bites of food. The weather has been glorious and sunny, so the party has been arranged in the outdoors.
As we move away from the sound of the horses snorting and stamping their shoes and the coachmen shouting to each other in greeting, I can distinguish the soft strains of music among the guests' chatter and laughter. The band from London must have already began playing.
The sweet smell of flowers wafts on the gentle breeze, making the atmosphere very pleasant.
Aunt Esme welcomes me with an affectionate hug and kiss, while Edward kisses her hand and congratulates her on the happy occasion. Then we find my uncle Carlisle, surrounded by a group of merry gentlemen and narrating some anecdote that has them in splits. He has always been good at telling stories.
"Isabella!" he cries as soon as he spies me, moving forward to greet us. His manner is too jovial even for him. It seems he has already tasted the punch once or twice. "How is my favourite niece? You look lovely, by the way. Married life is suiting you!"
I laugh and kiss his cheek. "Thank you, Uncle. May I introduce my husband Lord Edward Masen? You might remember him from the wedding; he was the groom."
Both Carlisle and Edward laugh. "Cheeky girl," says my uncle, pretending to tweak my ear. "I am not that drunk, you know." He winks and adds, "Not yet anyway. Welcome, my lord. I hope you will enjoy our little gathering."
Edward shakes his head. "Please don't be so formal, Doctor Cullen, Edward will do. After all, I have known you since I was a child. You have even treated me on occasions, though it was a long time ago."
A sudden alertness shines in Carlisle's kind blue eyes. "You are right, I did treat you a couple of times for chills and fever, except the last time," he says, his voice dropping at the end as if he is talking to himself. Then he shakes himself and smiles. "Edward it is then. I trust your mother is keeping well?"
Was it Carlisle who had treated Edward's injuries when James had whipped him? It is quite possible, for he already knew Edward's parents, and Elizabeth wouldn't trust anybody else to keep quiet about the incident.
At least he knows how cruel James can be.
We move on to other topics, and then my parents arrive and we speak with them. Soon my mother drags me to chat with some ladies of our acquaintance while Edward gets busy among the gentlemen.
Soon dinner is announced and the guests troop into the dining hall. Toasts are called, the silver couple is congratulated and wished many more years together, and course after course of delicious food follows, accompanied by the finest wines. My uncle and aunt have gone to great trouble to please their guests.
Once the dinner is over, everyone follows Carlisle and Esme outside, and the band starts playing a merry tune. My uncle and aunt open the dance, and then other guests follow. Esme had mentioned earlier that the dancing won't be too formal. She wanted everyone to enjoy themselves without worrying too much about rules and such things.
It is during the dance that I understand what Alice meant earlier. Of course Edward dances with other women and I with other men, it would be rude not to. However, I am always conscious of his presence, of his eyes upon me. He seeks me out at the end of a few dances to make sure I am not too tired, and fetches me a glass of wine because he thinks I might be thirsty. It is as if some part of him is always on the watch for me.
When we dance together after having fulfilled our duty, I find that dancing with him is a pleasure. He moves well; there is no stiffness in his movements, unlike some gentlemen. His eyes are full of adoration and there is a smile on his lips that makes me want to kiss him. His hands feel warm on my back as they support me through the steps.
"You seem to be in deep thought, my lady," he observes as we twirl around. "May I enquire what is running through your mind?"
"I am thinking that it seems like a dream," I answer slowly, trying to assimilate my thoughts. He raises his eyebrows, so I explain further. "Not just being here and dancing with you, though that in itself is something I had never imagined happening. But also my whole life with you, the way it has changed since your arrival. I had given up on happiness, you know?"
A look of pain flashes across his face, followed by a sad smile. "You will never know how sorry I am for the past, Bella. I wish there was some way to change it so you wouldn't have known so much sadness. But that is not in my hands. All I can do is to make sure that you remain happy for the rest of our days together. And for that, I will do anything, anything at all. You and Lizzie are my life now."
I swallow at the intensity in his eyes and the resolve is his voice. He is a wonderful man and husband, kind and patient and loving. The fact that he mentions Lizzie in the same breath as me makes me glow from inside. Truly, my life cannot be any better.
"I am happy, Edward," I say softly so that only he can hear me. "You have made me so happy…All these days, I had been waiting for this feeling so I could honestly tell you that…but this is not the place. When we are home tonight, then I will tell you what you mean to me."
It's true. This wonderful feeling, it has stolen upon me slowly, quietly. There has been no thunderclap, no particular moment when my heart stopped at the sight of him and told me that yes, I love him, truly and deeply. In the days we have been together I have experienced everything beautiful that I had not before, that I had not even been aware of. Anthony and I had been pretending to be a team, but with Edward I know that we really are one. I have experienced physical affection as well as emotional, know how important I am to him, and feel utterly safe with him.
There is no need to wait. I know that I love him and want to spend my life beside him, with our children close by. They will grow up surrounded by love and never feel unaccepted or judged for things they want to do.
Edward gasps and then laughs, his face lit up with joy. He bends his head so that his mouth is close to my ear. "Shall we leave, my lady?"
A pleasing shiver runs through my body, right from the top of my head to the toes of my feet. "I suppose we can," I answer, my hands on his chest, uncaring of what people might think. "We have been here long enough."
"Let us say goodnight to your parents and aunt and uncle."
Carlisle and Esme bid us good night cheerfully, thanking us for sharing their joy. My father looks a little surprised and remarks that it is early yet, but my mother reminds him that we are young and newly married, making me blush. Still, we keep our composure.
In the carriage we hold hands tightly. If it was a closed one, I am sure we would have kissed, but unfortunately it is not so. Well, a little more waiting won't kill us.
Soon we are home. I am surprised to see Mrs Stanley at the main door. She prefers to keep early hours, so what is she doing here at this hour?
"Is everything well, Mrs Stanley?" asks Edward, as concerned as I am. She doesn't look worried though. Her lips are pressed together in a straight line and I feel she is disapproving of something or someone. Before answering Edward's question, she straightens her shoulders and takes a deep breath.
"My lord, we have received a visitor."
Edward looks surprised. "A visitor, and so late? Who might he be?"
She flashes me a glance I cannot read, before turning back to him. "It is not a he, but a she, a Madam Irina Ivanova. She has just arrived from France. She says you are expecting her."
A.N. : I know, evil me. But you knew something was going to change, right? Can't be fluffy and sweet all the time!