Thank you for the shower of reviews for the previous chapter! I loved how many of you wanted Edward to kick out Irina that very moment. But the truth is seldom what it seems to be, right?

Unbeta'ed.

Chapter-24

I had heard of moments in one's life that cannot be defined, but I had no idea what they might like be. The moment I am experiencing right now however certainly belongs to one of those.

As I look from Mrs Stanley to Edward, a thousand questions rage in my breast. Who is this woman? How does she know Edward? How well does she know him? Why is she here? Why had Edward not informed me that he was expecting her? Why had he not mentioned her before, at least? Her name doesn't sound French, more…Russian. If she has arrived from France, clearly that was where they must have met. She doesn't have a title, otherwise I would have assumed her to be the wife of some nobleman there. Edward had mentioned to me that he was on friendly terms with many titled families on the continent due to his business dealings with them. It would have been unconventional for a lady to arrive at a friend's house without her husband or at least an escort—though I don't know about that as yet—but not unheard of. But the housekeeper did not use a title with her name.

The look on Edward's face is a mix of happiness and embarrassment. He is smiling and his eyes are shining, but his cheeks and ears are glowing red. The sight confirms my worst fears, ones I had pushed to the back of my mind and forgotten because Edward had convinced me by word and deed that he loved me and only me.

This Irina must be one of those women who know how to bring pleasure to a man, how to converse in a sophisticated manner and make a man feel that he was best at everything. Perhaps she was Edward's mistress for a long time in France, or perhaps he used to visit her now and then. Regardless, she must be very bold to be here, knowing that Edward is a married man now.

Or maybe it is not so surprising. After all, most noblemen have mistresses, both before marriage and after. What I cannot understand is why Edward would invite her here after making so many declarations of love to me. Surely that was unnecessary? And why not be more discreet about her and have her stay elsewhere? Why flaunt her in my face?

These and more thoughts flit through my mind in the blink of an eye. Before I can gather the courage of asking Edward a question, he takes my hand and walks quickly towards the sitting room meant for guests. I am sure Mrs Stanley gives me a look full of sympathy, but she doesn't say anything, following us with silent footsteps.

I am completely flummoxed by Edward's eagerness. Surely he is not thinking of introducing me to his mistress? Nobody does that!

We walk into the beautifully decorated room to find it lit by a medium-sized fire as well as a tall candle. There are refreshments on the table. Evidently, Mrs Stanley hasn't let her dislike of this woman come in the way of her duty to her guest.

Speaking of this woman, where is she? I look around and so does Edward, and then I see her detaching herself from the heavy drapes at the window and stepping forward into the light cast by the candle. As she walks towards us, I stare at her like an idiot, even though I know it is extremely rude of me. I can't help myself, never having seen such a woman.

She is tall, only three or four inches shorter to Edward, and very slim. Her hair is very light blond, braided and knotted on the top of her head. There are diamonds in her ears and at her throat, and the neck of her ruby-red gown is cut too low. When she stands in front of us. I see that her eyes are almost golden in colour.

She is beautiful, of course. Her straight nose and nicely-shaped lips, as red as her gown, are perfect for her oval face. Her carriage is confident and the look in her eyes speaks of worldly wisdom. She is older to Edward by at least ten years, but that wouldn't matter to a young man looking for company, would it?

Judging by Edward's smile, he is more than glad to see her.

"Madam Ivanova, it is a pleasure to see you here." He bows to her and kisses the back of her hand.

This greeting is rather unexpected. I am not exactly sure what I was imagining, but it wasn't anything this formal. Perhaps it is what she is used to. I have heard that some mistresses hold quite a reputed position in society.

In answer, she takes his hands in hers and kisses both his cheeks, and then speaks quickly in French. All I understand is Edward and France. Her manner though suggests that she is telling him how much she has missed him.

The blush on Edward's cheeks deepens. When she lets go of his hands, he turns to me and puts his arm around my shoulders.

"Madame, I would like to introduce my lovely wife to you." He squeezes me lightly, his tone full of pride. "Lady Isabella Masen. Isabella, this is Madame Irina Ivanova, a dear friend from France. She was very kind to me while I was there."

Kind? Is that how gentleman regard their mistresses on the continent?

She takes my hands in hers and kisses me on both cheeks, much like she had done with Edward. I am so shocked that I just look at her with my mouth open.

"Isabella, vous êtes si belle!" she exclaims.

Huh?

"She says you are very beautiful," says Edward with a smile.

Madame Ivanova shakes her head. "Eh, my Eenglish so bad. Eet ees a pleesir to meet you."

Whoever she is, I can't be rude to her. "The pleasure is mine, Madame Ivanova. You are welcome into our home."

She beams and makes a remark in French again, which Edward translates to 'I have been waiting a long time to meet you'.

"A long time?" I am startled. "How does she know of me? Or rather, how has she known of me?"

"Uh, I used to talk about you," he answers somewhat sheepishly. His tone turns pleading. "I was lonely there, Bella. She was nice enough to listen to me and console me."

Console him? In what manner?

Obviously, I cannot ask all the questions clamouring in my mind in front of our guest, if that is what she is. I must act as a good hostess first.

I look around for Mrs Stanley, and find her standing near the door, an expectant look on her face. She seems ready to throw Madame out at a moments' notice, but I must disappoint her, at least for now.

"Mrs Stanley, please ready a guest room for Madame Ivanova. See that she is comfortable in every way. My lord will be up shortly to check the arrangements, since I cannot converse well with her."

The housekeeper keeps her expression neutral, but I can still see the flicker of surprise in her eyes. However, she refrains from any comment, simply bowing her head and withdrawing.

When I turn to Edward, he seems surprised too.

"That was…thoughtful of you, Isabella."

"It is my duty as a hostess."

He frowns before explaining something to the Madame. Maybe he changed duty for something better, for she smiles widely at me and says something that sounds like zonti fiye.

"That means sweet girl."

I don't feel particularly sweet right now, but if she think so it is all right with me.

We bid each-other good night, and Edward tells me that Madame is looking forward to spending the next day with me. But then her forehead wrinkles and she asks him something. Edward replies with a puzzled expression, and she throws up her hands rather dramatically and seemingly curses someone. Then she kisses my cheeks once again and thanks me, and leaves for her room.

"She says she had sent a letter," Edward says with a sigh. "Maybe she wrote the address wrong. In any case, I never received one."

I study his face carefully. Now that Madame has left, he looks tired. "Will I see you…in my room…tonight?"

Edward looks at me as if he did not understand my question. "Well, of course. Why would you not…Do you not want me to come to your room? Are you that angry with me?"

I twist my fingers together. "I thought maybe…you would like to spend the night with her." My voice is very low, but he hears me. And he looks horrified.

"Spend the night with Irina? Why would I do that?"

I swallow, trying to speak through a dry throat. "Isn't she…wasn't she your…" I cannot say the word mistress, try as I might. "…your companion in France? The one who helped you forget your loneliness?"

My throat may be dry, but my eyes are not. I cannot forbid my eyes from shedding tears of grief. I wanted to tell him that I loved him tonight, but it is too late.

There is a sharp sound of breath being drawn suddenly, and then Edward's arms are around me and I am being pulled to his chest. "Oh Bella, my love, how could you think…This is my fault. I should have told you everything, but I was afraid that…Anyway, we should not have this conversation here. Let's go to our bedroom, all right?"

Did he mean she wasn't his mistress? But then, who was she, and what was my husband afraid of?

I nod. "I will go and change."

Alice is waiting for me as usual. Quickly she helps me take off the various layers I have been wearing and loosens my hair. She wants to know about the dance, of course. I tell her it was good and I enjoyed myself very much.

She doesn't mention Madame Ivanova. Either she is unaware of her arrival, or she is being discreet. I am grateful, either way.

When Edward's quiet knock sounds on the door, she opens it, wishes us a good night and departs.

I am not sure how to begin the conversation, but he makes it easier by taking my hairbrush and gesturing to the stool I sit on. Once I am settled, he takes a lock of my hair and brushes it gently.

"Madame Ivanova is my…teacher, you could say."

Our eyes meet in the mirror. "Teacher? What kind of teacher?"

He sighs heavily. "This is all so…Bella, when I left for France, I wasn't exactly in a positive frame of mind. I think you can imagine that?"

I begin to nod, but that results in a tug to my hair, so I just say yes. He takes another lock of my hair and starts brushing it.

"I remembered how much you encouraged me, Bella. I had never imagined that I would be able to make something of my life, but you told me that I could be successful in my own right. I didn't need a title to make something of me. So that was what I aimed to do, away from the estate.

As soon as I settled down, I began to form contacts there. That was an essential requirement to succeed in my business. I started small, very small, but I had this fire inside me. I was ready to work as hard as possible to earn money and make a name for myself. And after a while, it began to pay off.

People started to come to me to train their horses for shows and races. When I had sufficient capital, I began training horses of my own. My horses won races, and money poured in.

I had no idea when I would be able to return home though, and if there was any chance of having a future with you. Except my work and my memories, I had nothing."

He snorted quietly. "I used to be such a morose character when I was not being a businessman. I had acquaintances, yes, but no close friend. Nobody that I could share my hopes and despair with, and then…I met Irina at a party."

"How did you become so close to her?" I ask curiously. It seems that I was wrong about their relationship, but it is clear that she is important to him.

My hair is done, so he puts the brush down and takes my hand. I stand up, but I don't want to sit on the bed, so I steer him to the pale pink loveseat instead. He smiles as if he knows what is going on in my mind.

"I must admit that I was wary of her when I was introduced to her," he continues when we are sitting down, not letting go of my hand. "For three years I had lived like a monk, even though I had had been…propositioned a few times. I had a very fixed opinion of those women, and it was not a good one."

"Was any of them married?" I interrupt.

He chuckles. "You ask the darndest questions, my love. But yes, a couple of them were married. I turned them down as politely as possible."

I hum, thinking. "I suppose their husbands had mistresses and did not care of them. Also, you are too beautiful to resist; that might be a reason."

Edward looks at me as if I have sprouted wings. "My looks should not have been the reason. If their husbands neglected them, well…Anyway, I didn't speak to Irina much. On the contrary, I was rather brusque. She didn't mind though, asked me questions nobody had, and invited me to her home if I needed to talk with someone. She also said that I should try to see the brighter side of things."

"I suppose she sensed that you were feeling sad," I suggest, and he agrees.

"She is certainly very perceptive. I thought and thought, and finally sent her a message one day that I wished to meet her. She received me cordially, and her kindness made me pour out my whole story to her. I may have cried a bit."

My eyebrows climb up at the confession. Edward crying in front of an almost-stranger? I can't visualise that!

He gives a self-deprecating laugh. "I know, I was pathetic. But she listened to me and consoled me, saying that my love will conquer all the obstacles in the end. She also chided me on being so gloomy, telling me that life was rarely smooth sailing and we should keep our spirits up. Then she told me something of her life. It had been a difficult journey for her, but she had never lost hope."

I listened, fascinated. "How did you communicate with her? She doesn't speak much English, does she?"

He smiles as if remembering. "No, she doesn't. But by then I had learnt enough French to have a decent conversation. I had to, otherwise it would have been very difficult to run my business. I wasn't fluent by any means, but we managed."

"So she helped you," I say, nodding. "But you said she was your teacher? What did you mean by that?"

His cheeks become red again. "Yes, that. Well, in one way she helped me through a depressing period of my life, but she also…That is what she does professionally, you see. She speaks to people about sex and solves their problems in that field. She is an expert, you could say."

I am sure my eyes are as big as saucers. A woman who is an expert in sex? What…How…

"Does she give lessons in how to have sex?" I whisper even though we are alone. "How does she…I mean, does she demonstrate what she is explaining?" Another thought rushes into my mind. "Did you have lessons from her?"

His eyes widen too. "What? No! She only talks about it, and…Bella, there is much more to sex than the mere mechanics. She changed my whole view of it, you know? Like others of my age, I too thought it was either meant for procreation or satisfying our lust, especially a man's. She was the one who advised me that sex had emotional and spiritual aspects too. Remember that book I mentioned—The Kamasutra?"

I nod. "You said it was an old book written by an Indian man, about the various positions people can practice during sex?"

Living with Edward is definitely making me bolder. I actually say sex now!

He explains to me that the positions are only a small part of the book. It also deals with the importance of sex in one's life, the duties one has to one's family and how important it is to be in touch with the spiritual side of yourself. It explains that one should make an effort to please their partner and to be creative. That sex is nothing to be ashamed of, rather we should enjoy it in its entirety, not just the act of penetration or the resulting orgasm.

"Oh, wow." That is all I can say when he finishes his explanation. My head is in a whirl.

He remains quiet then, giving me time to absorb and process everything. I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes, going over his words. He puts his arms around me and rubs my arm lightly.

"Edward?" I say finally.

"Hmm?"

"Why were you embarrassed to see Madame Ivanova?"

He heaves a sigh and says something that vaguely sounds like a prayer to the heavens. "Because there is another part of this story I am not comfortable telling you about. I am afraid you might hate me when you know everything."

I lift my head from his shoulder and turn towards him. "I will never hate you. Anyway, I have a pretty good idea of what it might be."

He actually looks apprehensive. "What?"

"There was another woman, right? And you didn't live like a monk for the next three years, did you?"

He seems to swallow with difficulty. "Yes, darling, there was. Irina introduced us. She was a client of hers, I suppose, and as lonely as I was." Suddenly he takes both my hands in his and squeezes them. "Please try to understand, Bella. I was not trying to replace you. Every day I wished I could return home, but to what purpose? Talking with Irina helped, but sometimes I just needed to forget my woes, to feel something else than pain. That was all it was, I swear. She knew as well as I did that it was temporary, and she was fine with it. For a few hours I could pretend that my life wasn't as empty as it was in reality."

The last few words sound as if they are choking him. Suddenly his arms are around me and his face is buried in my neck. To my surprise, I feel my skin becoming damp.

"Edward?" I murmur, one arm around him in an instinctive gesture of comfort as I run my fingers in his hair. He has always seemed to me so self-assured, so confident in all he does that I can't help wishing that all this had never come to my knowledge. I wish that Madame Ivanova had never come to our home, and Edward had never had to disclose his past actions to me. In this case, ignorance truly would have been bliss.

He raises his head at last, and my heart breaks at the sadness I perceive in his red-rimmed eyes.

"I would be lying if I said it doesn't bother me in the least," I begin, and the sadness deepens. "At the same time I do see what you mean, even though I can't exactly understand your state of mind. I too lived without hope while you were not here, but the darkness in my mind was perhaps different from yours. And of course I had Lizzie. Without her…I can't imagine going through life without her." I finish my statement with a deep sigh.

Edward nods quickly. "Yes, I can imagine that—Lizzie being the light in your life when there was nothing else to look forward to." He extends his hands towards me, palms upturned, and looks relieved when I put mine in his. "Bella, I know it was not right, but at that time…Please, please forgive me. I promise that I will do everything in my power to make you happy for the rest of our life."

"Can I think about it?" I ask him, explaining myself when he seems uncertain. "Edward, you have known all this for years, but I have come to know about it only a few minutes ago. I need some time to absorb it, do I not?"

This times he nods slowly, heavily. "Yes, of course you do. I will go to my room then. And…we will meet at breakfast?"

I agree, and he goes to the door, his shoulders hunched and head bowed. It is with great difficulty that I stop myself from calling him back. I hate to see him dejected.

He turns and looks at me before opening the door. "Have a good night, Bella."

"Good night to you, Edward."

I doubt if it is going to be a good night for either of us.

A.N. : Do I need to hide? Did Edward's secret(s) shock you, or did you shrug and say-Eh, it's not a big deal. I knew it would be something like this!

Story Rec: 'Feral' by OpalAline. If you haven't read it, believe me, you need to. This Edward is so sweet, you would want to protect him from the bad world outside!

Have you checked the Twilight Diversity Contest yet? There are some lovely stories waiting for you.

Oh, The Kamasutra was translated in English in the late 19th century, so consider mentioning it here an artistic license!