Thank you so much for your good wishes! I saw my daughter settled at the university and happy with her friends. I also spent some days in Paris playing tourist.

The second half of this chapter was difficult to write. Even now I am not completely satisfied with it, but I have already delayed enough, so here it is.

Chapter-28

This pregnancy is very different from the previous one.

The circumstances are different; I am different. But most of all, it is because I have Edward as my husband. My extremely happy, extremely attentive husband who is so proud that his wife is carrying his baby that he might burst at any moment.

He takes such good care of me, telling me that nothing is too much trouble if I have a craving for something. He hounds Mrs Newton so that I may have my favourite dishes every day, and he frequently asks me if there is anything, anything at all, that he might tempt me with. Exotic fruits? Unusual desserts? Do I need new gowns for my changing figure? Would I like some new jewellery?

His efforts touch my heart, even though I don't require half the things he offers me. When I smile and deny the necessity of fancy gowns and glittering gemstones, he settles for other things that might please me.

My parents and siblings are often invited to the manor house, or I am taken to visit them. Edward knows how happy it makes me to see them.

The village midwife had assisted me at the time of Lizzie's birth, but Edward insists that Carlisle check upon me every month. When I point out that he is my uncle by marriage and it will be awkward to have him as my physician, he offers to get another physician, the best in London. I roll my eyes and agree to see Carlisle instead.

At least Edward doesn't insist on Carlisle's presence at birthing. Now that is one thing I couldn't have abided!

When I complain of aching feet, he shoos off Alice and massages my feet carefully, the expression on his face so tender that it brings tears to my eyes. Surely no other man in this world would do that for his wife, let alone an earl.

When my mother and Angela come to know of this, they become glassy-eyed and sigh at how lucky I am to have married Edward. I can't agree more.

As full of surprises Edward has been, the best one has been him continuing to sleep with me, either in my room or his. I must say this was something I had not expected, not at all.

I knew very well that noblemen and their wives always sleep in separate bedrooms, and especially so when the lady is expecting. Anthony too had stopped visiting me as soon as he received the good news, so I fully expected Edward to absent himself from my room after he came to realise my condition.

Imagine my surprise when he announced clearly the very next night that he would much prefer to keep our arrangement as it was, provided I had no objection.

"Bella, I can't imagine sleeping alone, and that too for months," he said after an astonished Alice had taken her leave for the night. None of us had expected him there. "If my presence here does not make you uncomfortable, I would like us to sleep together for as long as possible. As it is, we spend very little time together during the day. I really look forward to the nights. Please?"

I may not have expected it, but of course his proposal delighted me. "I would like that very much, Edward. It didn't cross my mind because sleeping apart is customary, but I look forward to our nights too."

And then I threw myself in his arms and kissed him. Yes, I have grown bold enough to do that, and more, to take the initiative.

"There is one more thing I would like to discuss with you," he said after our lips parted and we drew in some much-needed breath. Strangely enough, he sounded rather nervous.

I looked at him expectantly. He sat on the bed and pulled me in his lap sideways, and I rested my head on his shoulder.

His neck was invitingly close to my lips, so I obliged it by licking the skin in front of me. Edward groaned.

"We won't be having a conversation if you carry on like this, my darling."

"Sorry," I said, not feeling apologetic at all. Edward laughed.

"From what I have learnt," he said, "a couple can continue having sex during the lady's pregnancy, provided it is not uncomfortable for her. So what do you think of that? Would you like to continue with our lovemaking?"

My mouth fell open as I tried to take in his words. Good heavens, was he suggesting—

"Lovemaking? While I am with child?"

Edward's eyes twinkled with amusement, even though he kept his lips in control.

"At the most, we need to wait a month or two, to let the baby stabilise. After that there is no harm in being intimate."

I must have continued to look incredulous, for he kissed me and asked me to think about it. He would accept my decision, whatever it was.

By the end of the month, both of us were frustrated, even though we used other ways to pleasure each-other. When he asked me again, I agreed happily. Yes, what he suggested was unconventional, but I had already seen that conventional was not always the best way.

The first time we made love after thirty days of abstinence, I almost cried with joy and relief. I was very, very glad that he had suggested it.

Edward agreed that he would have gone insane had I decided not to be physically close for the whole duration of my pregnancy, and then some more after the baby's birth.

Another unexpected thing he did was to talk with the baby, even though I was sure it could not hear him.

"You are probably right," he said, "but I like to pretend that it can hear me, understand my words. I want to tell our baby how happy we are, and how much we love her."

"Her?" I queried, amused. "Do you not want a son?"

He smiled shyly. "I am fine with a son, but a daughter will be wonderful, either this time or the next. I never did see Lizzie as a baby, or even a toddler."

And here I had imagined that I could not love him any more!

Not that I have any complaints regarding my first pregnancy, at least, where my comfort and convenience is concerned. Everything I had needed, I had been provided with. Anthony may have followed the tradition of sleeping in his own bedroom, but he had been attentive otherwise. He made efforts to have breakfast and dinner with me, and always asked me how I was feeling and if there was anything he could do for me.

I did not realise it then, but sleeping in the same bed as my husband was much more conducive to happiness then living in the lap of luxury.

However, the real discontent during that period originated not from sleeping alone, but because of keeping my distance from Edward.

After that fateful ride and the tumble I took because of Kate, ending with the passionate kiss Edward and I shared, I had informed him that it would be better if we did not ride together. And then of course I discovered that I was pregnant, and that put an end to my riding.

It was difficult to keep myself away and aloof from Edward. In the short time we had been together, we had exchanged childhood memories and thoughts, and become good friends.

If it wasn't for the attraction between us, it would have been perfect. But the fact was, the attraction did exist, and the more I tried to deny it the stronger it became.

The Past

I was just over four months pregnant, and completely miserable.

Well, not completely. The knowledge that I was carrying another life inside me filled me with a quiet content. Quite a paradox, wasn't it?

Let me rephrase. I was miserable because I had not seen Edward for ages. To my knowledge, he had not been inside the mansion since my state of being with child had been announced. I could not ride, of course, so there was no excuse to seek him out or send him a message. I did go to the stable to see Rosalie on a regular basis, but somehow Edward was never around at those times. He was most probably avoiding me, but how could I fault him?

Sometimes, while I was taking a stroll in the grounds, I had a feeling of being watched. Once or twice I was certain that I had seen Edward disappear into the wood as I turned around, but always he was too far to hear me, even if I had the courage to call out to him. The attraction I felt towards him gave rise to guilt, which in turn made me a coward. I wanted to see him, but I made no effort to do so.

A few times Anthony mentioned Elizabeth to me, saying she would like to visit me. She had already done so in the beginning of my pregnancy, but it had been a short meeting, and none of us had said much except exchanging formal greetings and polite inquiries. I suppose I could have learnt more about her had we met more, but I could not bring myself to make the request to my husband. She was Edward's mother after all. I was not sure if I could have held my tongue in her presence and not asked anything about her son. And heaven only knew what my reaction would have been had she mentioned Edward!

The warm days of summer were long past, giving way to the cooler and shorter days of autumn, and even that was slowly inching towards winter. Sometimes it was impossible to go out for a stroll, owing to a combination of rain and a stiff breeze. On such days my mood took a turn for the worse, and I felt lonely enough to cry into my pillow.

Were someone to ask me the exact reason for my sadness, I would have been unable to explain. In the eyes of the world, I had the perfect life, having married into nobility and gained a title, wealth and a husband against whom I had no material complaint. What more could I want?

Life wasn't a fairytale, I would remind myself, and a husband was not supposed to profess his love to his wife in words. Wasn't I taken care of? Didn't Anthony make sure that I lacked for nothing? Didn't he inquire about my health almost daily? I could expect no more than that. He was an earl after all, with lots of things to do.

Unfortunately, these very logical reasons made no difference to my heart. It cared nothing for wealth and splendour of surroundings, and longed for something indefinable.

That day was one of those dismal, rainy days when the morning doesn't differ much from the afternoon, and the afternoon from the evening. After a light lunch, I was resting in my room, feeling particularly tired due to having slept poorly during the night gone by. I had gone to bed at my usual time, but the sound of angry voices had woken me up. They seemed to be coming from the passage outside, perhaps even just outside my door. I could not make out the words, though it seemed to me as if the voices belonged to Edward and Anthony.

Before I could gather the courage to get up and open the door, however, the voices faded away as if the speakers had moved off. A door was shut with a heavy thud. Had they gone inside Anthony's room?

For a long time I remained awake, puzzling over the incident. Why would the cousins be arguing in the middle of the night? Were they coming to wake me up?

I decided that I would ask Anthony at breakfast, but found him absent. Mr Newton informed me that he had left early and would not be back until late evening.

I could have asked the butler if he had seen Edward last night, but his dour countenance didn't encourage questions, so I kept quiet.

At least Mrs Newton seemed concerned over my tiredness, suggesting that I take a nap after the lunch. I thanked her and agreed that it would help.

And so I lay in my bed in my chemise, having taken off my gown and underskirt. Through the half-drawn curtains I could see the rain lashing the trees outside. A maid had come by and built a comfortable fire, and I pulled the duvet over me and closed my eyes.

I had just fallen asleep when the sound of a door being opened and closed quietly disturbed me. At first I didn't pay much attention, but when it was followed by the squelchy sound of wet shoes being pulled off, my eyes flew open.

"Edward?" I could not believe my eyes as I sat up and gawked at him. He stood in front of me, soaking wet, with water dripping from his hair and clothes. "What are you…why…" I stammered, unable to comprehend his presence.

He sat beside me, his eyes wild, apparently unaware of his drenched state. "Isabella, I can't stay away from you any longer. Please, let me—"

"Edward, you are wet!" I exclaimed, still in a state of shock at his sudden appearance in my room. "Please change your clothes before you catch a cold."

For a second he stared at me, his expression perplexed. Then he looked at his clothes as if noticing them for the first time. "They are wet," he commented, surprise colouring his tone.

"Yes," I insisted, "please go and change them." Even though I didn't want him to leave me.

He stood up. And I breathed in relief; in disappointment.

"You have been avoiding me," I blurted out, and then bit my tongue. Why was I telling him that I had noticed his absence? It was as good as admitting that I had missed him.

It wasn't my place to miss him. It wasn't his place to know it.

"I didn't want to, Isabella," he said, his tone weary. His eyes roamed my face as if searching for something. When he spoke again, his voice was stronger. "When we kissed….that day, did you feel something for me? Anything at all?"

I wanted to tell him that I had felt more than at any other time in my life, that my body had come alive when his lips had touched mine, but the words wouldn't leave my guilt-weighed tongue, so I settled for a simple 'yes'.

"Oh, my darling." He bent towards me, arms extended, but then straightened suddenly. "Wet clothes," he muttered, and began to unbutton his shirt hastily.

To say I was startled would be an understatement. "Edward, what are you doing?"

Of course I could see exactly what he was doing. I just could not understand why he was doing it.

In answer, he shrugged off the garment, letting it fall on the carpeted floor. And I forgot my question as I stared at his unclothed chest.

It wasn't as if I had never seen a bare-chested man in my life. The serfs working in the fields sometimes took their smocks off when the weather was too warm, and so did the labourers building a cottage or a road. However, I had never paid any attention to their physique. They were just doing their work. What was there to look?

But this was Edward, the man who had pulled me to him since the day I had known him, even though I knew it was wrong. Edward, every look and touch of whose singed my skin and sent a shiver racing throughout my body, whom my eyes had been searching for even though my mind had refused to acknowledge the fact.

Even in my dreams I had not imagined that I would see him shirtless. Ever.

In the semi-darkness of the room, the light from the fire made the water drops on his skin glisten. Even though he was lean of built, his shoulders were wide and his torso muscular. I felt as if I was hypnotized, completely unable to take my eyes off the sight.

Somehow I found myself standing up, then taking a step closer to him. My hands perched on his shoulders, and I swallowed as my eyes fell on his lips, as I remembered that kiss we had shared after my fall.

I wanted to be kissed like that again. I wanted to be held tight, to be whispered sweet words to, to be felt precious if only for a few minutes.

"Isabella," he groaned as his arms came around my waist, pulling me close enough that there was no space left between us. The water seeped from his skin into my chemise.

"Edward."

With a half-muffled curse his lips reached for mine even as his arms lifted me off the floor. The loneliness of the past few months that had weighed my heart down dissipated like mist does after sunrise. In his heated embrace, I felt as if I mattered for myself, not just because I was carrying an heir to further the Masen name.

"Oh my love, I have missed you so much." His words were a shape on my neck, a warmth on my shoulder. My chemise was tugged up, his hands burning on my back.

I have no memory of falling on my bed, none of Edward removing the rest of his clothes or mine. All I can recall is being surrounded by his heat, the pleasure of being skin-to-skin driving me out of my mind. I might have protested once while I was capable of coherent thought, but I don't remember his answer, or even if there was any. Perhaps he was as lost as I was in the moment.

There was movement, and kisses everywhere, and more whispered, tender words. There were hot, quickening breaths and hands wandering everywhere. There were promises I knew he would not be able to keep but didn't care anyway. I just closed my eyes and sank into the sweet, blissful darkness.

Until there was another knock on my door. A loud one, followed by the terrifying sound of the hinges squeaking as the door opened. It could have been a maid, but no, in my heart I already knew who it would be.

I knew I had sinned, and it wasn't going to be undiscovered.

Or unpunished.

There was the tap-tap of boots, and Anthony came into my sight as I sat up in the bed, clutching the duvet to cover my nakedness. Beside me, Edward straightened as well, though he didn't bother to cover himself above his waist.

I knew Anthony must have been furious enough to kill me, but when he spoke, his tone was as calm as it was while asking after my health. Somehow, that scared me more than if he had begun to shout at me immediately.

"Isabella," he said softly but clearly. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Anthony—" Edward began.

"You don't get to say anything, Edward," said my husband, as quick as the snap of a whip through the air. "I want to hear what my wife has to say in this matter."

I looked up then, just a brief glance, but it was enough. The ruddy hue of his face, the steeliness of his eyes and the vein bulging on his forehead, all assured me that he was about to explode with anger.

"I am sorry, my lord," I managed to croak though my mouth was dry with fear. I had never seen or heard any instance of his being cruel, but even a kind man must have a limit, wouldn't he? "I—I have committed a sin. I deserve to be punished for it."

"No," Edward gasped, "Bella, don't do that. Tell him how you really feel about me."

Was he mad? Did he wish to die by his cousin's hand at that very moment?

"Edward," Anthony warned, "not a word, now. I want you out of this country, understand? Take whatever you require, and leave before the dawn breaks."

I closed my eyes and thanked the heavens that he was letting Edward live, even though in exile.

"But—"

"Please, Edward," I pleaded, "I am begging you, don't argue. You know what we did was wrong. Go."

He nodded once, resignation clear on his face. Then he got out of the bed, pulled on his damp clothes, and left.

I waited for Anthony to pronounce my punishment. Was he going to send me back to my parents? Would he let them know what my crime was? Would the whole village know?

"Isabella," he said, sounding tired, "I cannot bear to have a scandal associated with my family. You are my wife, and you are carrying the Masen heir, therefore you will stay here and carry on as before. Also, you will never try to find out Edward's whereabouts or contact him. Do I have your word on this?"

I felt almost light-headed with relief. He was not going to send me away. My parents would never come to know of my shame. My siblings would not have to listen to the villagers' barbs or become a laughing-stock.

I did not deserve such kindness from the one whom I had wronged. If I had to thank him on my knees as long as I lived, it would not be enough.

"You have my word."

I did not know then that I had lost him as well as Edward. I had no idea that what I considered a lack of punishment would become a punishment in itself, the greatest punishment of all.

That day was the beginning of the darkest period of my life.

A.N. : This was the last chapter in which the past is mentioned. I know most of the readers wanted to know what happened to make Edward leave for France. Hope this answered your questions!

Who would you blame for Bella's transgression? Bella, Edward or Anthony?

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