We pull up to the party and its already heaving with drunk football players and even drunker girls hanging off their arms.

"You sure you want to go through with this?" Leo asks, switching off the car engine. "We could just go home."

I look out at the party. It looks like my worst nightmare, but it must be done this way else everything would have been a waste of time. It doesn't help that Marina and her cronies are already drunk and scanning the party for victims of their jokes.

"Come on. Let's go get your girl." Leo's grin is so wide I'm worried his cheeks will split. He's always had this ability to make me smile with the least amount of effort. Rolling my eyes, we jump out of the car.

Getting through the crowd is like wading through mud; except the mud smiles like sweat and cheap spirits. My chest is already getting tight and I keep my head down, trying to avoid bumping into everyone I pass. Unfortunately, I have to stick around for a little while, before and after the break up to make it seem realistic. Otherwise, we'd just look like we were looking for attention, and neither of us want that.

Leo sees some guys from the team and pulls me with him. I stand awkwardly behind him as they talk, as I make as much effort to join in as they do to acknowledge I'm there. By the campfire, Maddie and Jack are dancing together, looking the happiest I've ever seen them. They deserve to be happy and the way they look at each other makes me heart glow. Spotting me in the crowd, Maddie grabs Jack's arm and drags him over to me, waving excitedly as they go.

"Hey best friend!"

"Hey, Mad," I chuckle. "Having fun?"

"Yes! Are you nervous?" She's shouting and I begin to worry someone will here before remembering that many the people here are slightly intoxicated.

"A Little bit," I shrug. "Once it's over I'm going to find Bree and tell her to go for it. She likes him a lot and I'm sick of being in the way of people's happiness."

Mad gives me a sad smile and hugs me tight.

Jack does the same, whispering in my ear, "You're the best person I know, Rye."

"Go on, you two go enjoy the party!" I wink at them and off they go, moving to the rhythm being blasted out of the speakers.

Half an hour goes by and I've begun to get bored of following Leo around and trying to speak to people that have no interest in a conversation with me. I tell my soon to be ex-boyfriend that I'm going for a walk to take a break from the crowd and find a lovely spot on a hill, away from the fire and the crowds.

Between the body heat and the flames, things get a little bit dizzying but over here on my little hill, the air is clear and I can see the stars so clearly. I lay down and immerse myself in thoughts of the sky. Spotting the Orion constellation, I laugh to myself, startled when a face appears above me.

"Mind if I join you?" A nervous smile graces Finn's face and I smile back, unable to help myself. Sitting up, I pat the spot of grass beside me. "Not enjoying the party?" he asks.

"Oh you know me, I'm usually a party animal," I say sarcastically. But you know, there's just something about being surrounded by your childhood bullies that puts a downer on the evening.

"What?" I turn my head and Finn's eyes are terrified.

"Fuck," I grumble. "Those words were not supposed to leave my mouth." It makes me laugh a little. It's just typical that this is the way he finds out.

"They... they used to bully you?" I shrug. "Why didn't you tell me, Riley?" To my surprise, Finn's eyes are watering and at this sight my own begin to sting.

"I-I couldn't," I stutter. "I usually don't even admit it to myself. Suppressed memories and all that."

"Riley… I'm so sorry," Finn whispers. A laugh escapes my mouth at this as I wipe away a tear. It's a sad and broken laugh.

"What are you apologising for?"

"I wasn't here."

There it is. The words that break my heart. Usually those words would be empty and without meaning, said only to sympathise and for whoever said it to feel better about themselves. But with Finn it has a whole new meaning. Because he wasn't here. And if he was, it probably wouldn't have happened. Who knows what life I'd be living if Finn had stayed here in District 12. But he didn't, because he couldn't.

"It's not your fault," I admit. "It probably explains a lot about me."

"What do you mean?" he questions.

"My anxiety, my mood changes, my defensiveness, my need to be invisible. I had to build walls Finn." His eyes are looking so deep into mine, like he's looking at my soul in its purest form. I can't stop all my secrets from spilling out now, so I just roll with it. "Then you came back and took down all my walls in just one day. I've been so vulnerable. So when Marina-" Stop Rye.

"When Marina what?" he asks cautiously.

"Nothing, Finn."

Suddenly angry, he demands, "No, Riley. What did Marina do?"

"Finn, seriously, it doesn't matter." Why am I defending her after everything she's done to me? Cause you're not her, I tell myself. Finn opens his mouth again, but another voice is heard.

"Am I interrupting?" While I'm silently thanking Leo for coming over, he could not have picked a worse point for Finn and I to leave this conversation at. "Rye, you said you wanted to talk about something?"

"Yes, I do." I look at Finn, his anger and sadness written on his face like a Charles Dickens' novel. "I'll talk to you later, okay?" He nods.

As he's walking away, he stops and mumbles to Leo, "Look after her, alright?" Patting Leo on the shoulder, he disappears back to the party. Every muscle is tense and obvious and I sigh, knowing he'll carry this for a while.

"Something I should know?" Leo raises an eyebrow at me.

"Aside from the fact he just found out why I'm an absolute mess? Nothing you don't already know."

"Alright," he sighs. "Let's break up."