A/N: This chapter we'll learn about what happened to Chuck and some brief cameos. Those who have a dislike for Shaw may enjoy at least a portion of this chapter; needed something to lighten up Chuck's history.

Sarah vs. Eliza Doolittle

Chapter 2

He had a number of things to reflect upon as the amber liquid made that slow burn down his throat. Another school year has passed and he actually felt comfortable with where he was. Even as he accepted the job three years ago he had no idea if he would have survived a month, but somehow he was able to adapt and being an English Professor at San Diego State University specializing in writing and pop culture analysis many would point out he was thriving.

"Fuck you Bryce." Chuck silently worded lifting his glass in the air. Despite landing on his feet; when there was no work to keep his mind busy he would sometimes drift to his onetime roommate and friend who completely uprooted his life. True he had hacked his way into the database, but he had no idea it was an auxiliary WITSEC one. From the time they had met freshman year they instantly bonded over Zork of all things. They were different, but each seemed to bring out the best in the other, for a time at least. Bryce introduced Jill to him which turned out to be another kick in the balls at the end. He also gave birth to the Piranha; it started off as simple hacking challenges within the computer engineering program, but his skills quickly made him the 'Top Gun' of the school and after a weekend or two in Seattle and Silicone Valley the Piranha had reached mythical status.

Bryce every once in a while would come up with challenges and every time Bryce would have to pay up when Chuck accomplished the task. The all expense weekend in Napa with Jill was the highlight. What essentially turned into the last one was to be the coup de gras: Bryce was going to get Chuck the penthouse suite in San Francisco's most prestigious hotel where he was going to pop the question to Jill. After a difficult coding session he was successful and he found it difficult waiting through the next day's classes before jumping onto a bus back to Burbank in order to pick up his mother's ring. Despite how much he wanted to stay and have dinner with Ellie and her boyfriend he boarded the next bus back bursting with excitement.

Despite the extremely long day, Chuck still was bouncing with enthusiasm as he walked to Jill's Sorority house from the bus depot. One of Jill's sisters was coming back from a 'late night study session' and knowing Chuck let him in with a wink. His blush was almost enough to light his way to Jill's room. When he got there the blush was replaced with a huge smile as he went to turn the handle the smile became uncertain as he felt cotton. Pulling away he stepped back and counted the doors, confirming that he was in the correct space. He silently prayed for another possibility as he opened the door, but the grunting and moaning left little hope for anything but the obvious.

Throwing the sock at them instead of screaming seemed more sensible, especially since he was unable to produce any sound. As the sock landed on top of the pile Chuck's heart found a little piece not yet shattered as he heard his roommate curse out 'What the hell are you doing! Didn't you see the… Chuck? Why aren't you in Burbank?' soon followed by Jill sobbing and saying 'Chuck, I'm sorry'. Slowly closing the door he turned to head back out when Jill's next door neighbor, and one of the few people who openly disliked Chuck, opened her door, pushed Chuck in the shoulder and laughed at him. Chuck simply continued his way out of the house with the laughter echoing in his ears.

The next day was almost a complete blank after stopping by his frat house and putting the ring in a secure place, an alcoholic haze took care of the rest as his next lucid moment was waking up on a tree branch. Making his way down with his head throbbing took all of his concentration as he did not notice the small group of people gathered watching him climb down. Slowly turning to gather his thoughts and find out where he was soon brought back the full memory of the prior night as he looked up seeing Jill's house; his utter embarrassment was made complete as he heard the cackle from the aforementioned harpy.

All he wanted was a shower, well and some food, and his iPhone. A shower, food, and iPhone was all he needed and the rest of the world can go to hell was his constant thought until he almost twisted his ankle stepping on a stupid paddleboard some jerk left on the sidewalk. Walking into his frat house his objectives hadn't changed, but, of course, the chapter president had to be there to greet him.

"Chuck, we heard what happened with Jill; I'm sorry. Bryce came by sometime in the night and cleared his stuff out without a word to anybody. There are also some people that want to talk to you… don't forget you can ask for a lawyer."

Chuck mindlessly nodded as his brain was barely processing anything as he trudged to his room and opened it seeing a very attractive woman and a cigar store Indian. What snapped him out of his daze was when the wooden figure actually moved and spoke.

"Ok Piranha, you have been able to elude us for some time. You are pretty good, but you screwed up big time hacking into WITSEC and thinking you could get away with it."

Chuck looked around and felt the urge to vomit, but was able to hold that back instead he settled for releasing a large belch, he apologized and the woman nodded while the artifact went to look about the room. "You are very pretty, but also quite intimidating… I've never seen lumber with articulating joints before."

"Tell him to stop that. I am not made of wood. I'm a real man."

"Of course you are," The woman turned to Chuck, "You are Chuck Bartowski, correct?" Chuck nodded, "My name is Agent Zondra Taylor; that is Agent Shaw we're with the CIA. You have some very important people wanting to ask you some questions…"

"Yes starting with this," as the Shaw block thrust the red box containing Chuck's mother's ring at him, "He's working for the Ring. Why else would he have this? Go on I dare you to deny it."

"I was going to propose…"

"Propose what? Death to all that stand in your traitorous way. I have been waiting so long for this. You killed my wife didn't you?" Chuck soon found himself hoisted up like a sail on a mast and was soon being shaken; unfortunately it loosened something in Chuck's system as he vomited on Shaw.

After being flung onto his bed by the angry 2x6 Chuck pointed out, "As long as he was treated with Thompson's Water Sealant you can just hose him down… I didn't mean to do that."

The female agent couldn't help but laugh, "I know you didn't. You aren't going to do something stupid and run are you?" Chuck shook his head and grimaced, "Good because if I have to chase you I will catch you and it will be something you will painfully remember, understood?" Chuck nodded his head.

"Damn, he ruined my Tiffany's watch."

"Everybody knows you only go to Tiffany's to browse and not buy."

The plank looked at Chuck who could not tell from the blank look if it was confused by what he had just said. Suddenly the watch was thrown to the floor and soon the beam was jumping up and down in the vomit. Zondra stepped out of the splatter range, but also used Chuck as a shield. It soon collapsed like a pile of logs on the floor with one hand grabbing an ear while the other's thumb was placed in its mouth occasionally hearing 'mommy' sob from the mass on the floor.

"My God, I think somebody may have slipped a hallucinogen in whatever I was drinking."

"No, sadly this is real. Grab your shower things and a change of clothes. I'll have to follow you in… I won't peak, but I do have to keep an eye on you."

What came after the shower was a legal whirlwind: cyber-terrorism, treason, even an assault charge from Jill's sorority sister were all hanging over him and thanks to these charges nobody outside of the Government's alphabet soup agencies knew his whereabouts. After first telling his story to the brunette agent, who initially was skeptical, but by the end seemed to believe him. He was forced into telling it repeatedly multiple times every day. He easily lost track of how many times he had to relay it as well as the faces of the people he told it to. Despite his never changing any portion of his story they wanted a confession. After an especially aggressive session with a large African-American who'd picked him up a few times and drove him into a wall after not changing his story. Before the large man left he stated his enforcer would get the truth out.

After an indeterminate amount of time Chuck was dragged back in with a feeling of dread, knowing there was a person already seated at the other end of the table and although he willed himself not to look he caught a brief glimpse of blonde hair and the scent of vanilla, but another scent was usurping that… peanut butter?. Looking at the table there was a plate with two sandwiches on it.

Soon the plate was pushed towards him, still looking down Chuck asked, "So, what's in them?"

"Peanut butter, grape jelly, and wheat bread; I am a little hungry myself so I'll have one of the halves and you can have the rest. You need to eat."

"Why?" Chuck murmured to himself as he brought the plate closer to him, "Sorry, I'm not a fan of crust," a knife soon slid across the table and Chuck cut the crusts off of three halves and slid the knife back without any hesitation, "Thank you."

Chuck started eating while the agent stood and grabbed the half sandwich left for her. The door opened and another agent with two glasses of milk appeared and disappeared within a blink of an eye. They ate in comfortable silence until Chuck was finished.

"I need you to look in my eyes." Chuck hesitated, but when the agent pounded on the table his head jerked upwards and found himself mesmerized by the bluest eyes he had ever seen, "Now you are going back to your cell for a few hours, I don't care that you think you've said everything. I know you have held something back. When we meet again I need you to be completely honest with me. Can you do that?"

Chuck nodded, but could tell the agent wanted a verbal answer, "Yes, I will be completely honest with you… that is the most adorable milk moustache I have ever seen." Chuck's eyes went wide for a millisecond before he shut them tightly afraid of what was to come, although he now credits this to his imagination that the agent's lips were creeping into a smile before he closed his eyes. When he opened them the Agent was no longer there and instead felt the restraints upon his wrists. The next few hours Chuck was perplexed about what hadn't he told the truth about. As he crept into his head he lost track of time and in what only seemed like a moment his door opened once again and he found himself being dragged off. A slight amount of panic bubbled forth as he passed the room all his interrogations had previously taken place in, he had memorized the amount of steps where the only variable that slightly changed it was the agent leading him there. The room he was led to was dark, dank, and had an awful smell to it. There was a light at the far corner and walking towards it a sense of foreboding came upon him as he could swear he was walking through a medieval torture chamber.

Making it to the corner did not alleviate those fears as he came across an electrocution chair. Before he had finished comprehending his predicament another agent came from out of nowhere to help secure him into the device. A second later they were both gone and he heard a voice calling out that she would get the full truth. Chuck closed his eyes not wanting to see the dominatrix outfit the agent would undoubtedly be wearing. After what felt like hours, but was perhaps a few minutes Chuck loudly sighed and opened his eyes.

To say he was dumbstruck would be kind. The vision in front of him was by far the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Her pastel blue blouse matched her eyes and complemented her hair while the knee length cream colored skirt worked well with her skin tone. "Are you an angel?" left his mouth which would have normally caused his head to shake at his stupidity, but it was securely fastened at an odd angle that basically left his neck exposed.

The initial giggle did not dissuade Chuck on his original assessment. "Mr. Bartowski."

"Chuck."

After a slight pause, "Ok, Chuck; there are a number of people who are very concerned about you. However they are split whether or not you are what you claim to be: a pawn or a serious operator trying to play the US Government as fools with this 'act' you are perpetrating." Chuck attempted to rebut, but was stopped with a look, "Your attempts at flattery notwithstanding I will get to the bottom of what you are hiding. Tell me you understand."

Chuck gulped, "I understand."

The angel merely nodded and brought forth a tray filled with shaving equipment at Chuck's confused look she responded, "I needed something to ensure your lack of movement and a place where we can have some privacy. You for the first time since you've been brought in. Now let's establish a few things; first neither one of us wants blood to get on my outfit, correct?" Chuck attempted to nod, but croaked out his agreement, "Good; now as I'm curious what is underneath that growth on your face I do have an assignment first and foremost. I will have you tell your story once more and I will tell you to stop and proceed with your shave." She paused while finishing the prep work; especially taking her time with the straight edge razor, waiting until Chuck's uncomfortable gulp before talking once more; planting some descriptive thoughts into his mind as she lathered his beard.

Chuck began the story as he always had with Bryce's last challenge. However the agent stopped him and asked about the previous challenges and what he remembered about them. She had brought a mini-recorder and was pleased with the details he recalled. Chuck continued on uninterrupted until they reached the point where he got off the bus.

"Why did you go to her sorority house?"

Chuck stammered a little as he was too embarrassed that he was going to propose to Jill then. Looking at the blonde she had her arms crossed in front of her and was all too aware of the look she was giving him. Almost all of his interrogations had a form of intimidation added to them, but lately he had thought he was becoming immune to them. He was wrong and quickly offered her the reason before sighing dejectedly. Feeling the blade on his skin Chuck wanted to scream he was telling the truth, but knew that motion would cause at least a gash and seeing blood, especially his own, would add something else that neither he nor the agent would want on her ensemble.

He was surprised as the blade was no longer against his skin; after a few moments of silence it was back and was receiving the closest shave in his life. He kept his face still as he was trying to decide if it was both literally and metaphorically considering the entire situation. She paused and asked him to continue the story which was not stopped by her at any point. After the shave the agent examined her handiwork and with a smirk rubbed her cheek against his. Chuck, months removed from his last intimate contact couldn't help but moan as he felt the silky smooth skin along with the aromas of coconut and vanilla. Luckily the agent did not take offense to the noise, but walked behind him and began to massage his shoulders.

"Chuck, I believe you didn't know what you were hacking into. Fortunately that means you should be leaving this facility soon. However your life is not going to be how you imagined it. At the very least they will put a ban on you accessing the Internet for an indeterminate amount of time. They also will forbid you in pursuing any work with computers, let alone allow you to have one or anything else that can possibly be used in lieu of one in your possession. Do you have family that will take you in?" She voiced with a modicum of concern.

Chuck answered slowly as his mind was processing the implication of what the agent was telling him. His life was completely revolved around computers and technology; how could he survive without a computer or video game console. Realizing the shoulder rubbing had stopped he replayed the conversation and answered the agent's question, "Yes, my sister and her boyfriend will probably take me in. Is this going to be some house arrest type thing and how long do you think they will keep me from computers?"

The agent had started massaging again as he began speaking, but at his question stopped and walked over to look him in his eyes. She could see the questioning and the fear: both of what was to potentially happen and also having everything he was working towards completely crumble. Seeing the doubt of whether he could do anything else tugged at the Enforcer a little.

"Chuck; I don't know. I've heard five to ten years as well as lifetime bans," she cringed at Chuck's reaction to lifetime, "From your files you are an intelligent man. I'm sure there is something else that you are good at. If you are worried about some kind of withdrawal I should remind you that during your stay here you have not had access to any of these devices and you are still sane."

"I'm not so sure. I mean when I tell people that to shave me they had to strap me onto an electric chair I am fairly certain even my sister is going to think I'm a few fries short of my happy meal."

The agent giggled and returned back to ministering to Chuck's shoulders, "They will assign somebody to check on you, so even though you think this is the worst thing in the world. Don't slip up."

"Will you check on me?"

The agent sighed, "No, I'm afraid not. Good luck Chuck Bartowski." Finding the nerve cluster she was looking for Chuck was almost instantly knocked out, but he swore he heard her say, "You definitely deserve it." He also swore when he woke up back in his cell his lips were a little sticky and tasted like cherries.

Unconsciously he licked his lips as he found himself back in the present. A sudden thud next to his glass caught him completely unaware as his next sip of scotch went down his windpipe causing him to cough.

"Jesus Bartowski, you ok?"

After a minute the coughing subsided and Chuck wiped his eyes with a cocktail napkin.

"Better late than never, huh Alex?" Chuck added somberly, "You know you didn't have to come to the party, especially after where you were, but you are in luck; they splurged this year and have Black."

"Thank Reagan for small favors; by the way you didn't look at your present."

"Alex, c'mon you didn't have to get me…It's already fucking out on DVD?"

"Yep, figured we can catch the ending that you missed at the premiere or we can just put it on the brand new grill I got. It's called a Beastmaster." He said with a surprising amount of pride.

"Either way we are going to need something more to drink."

A/N: Long list of notes here; first spreading Chuck's story into two chapters happened because of the shave meeting that popped from nowhere. Fought with myself in keeping it, but a little pre-Charah really doesn't hurt. The next chapter should be short as it explains what Chuck did during his house arrest and how he ended up where he is now. Next, a little contest. Who are the two Disney characters referenced by Shaw's words and actions? First person gets to name a character in the story. I have no recollection on what Zondra's last name is and almost put Forrest with Shaw just to avoid the mistake, but considering the 'plain' last names Sarah and Carina have: Walker and Miller; I figured that was a pattern for Graham. As always I am interested in what you think. Thanks for reading.