Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Ch. 4: Casa
Looking up from where his eyes had been glued to the floor as he trudged behind Nana, Hayato caught his first glimpse of the Sawada household. He paused taking in, what was for him at least, an unusual sight.
The Sawada family home consisted of a tiny one story house made of stone the lightest shade of yellow and a dark tiled roof, creating a nice contrast. The residence exuded a rather cheerful air with the sun beaming down on its walls, making the structure seem as if it was glowing softly. The lawn was covered grass that was just on the cusp of browning from the summer heat but the patches of wild flowers by the front door gave the landscape a nice pop of color.
It was modest, more so than any dwelling Hayato had seen before, but the boy found he liked the simplicity of it all. Their house was beautiful in a quant kind of way and radiated warmth that his family's manor, with its cold white walls and immaculate foregrounds, lacked. Unlike the grandiose luxury that his "mother" took so much pride in displaying, there was a natural air around the home that made one feel welcome.
Before he knew it, Hayato was being ushered into the house. He shifted in place nervously at the entrance while Nana worked to settle her unconscious son onto the couch. Seeing the care she took in making sure Tsuna was comfortable made Hayato feel almost as if he was encroaching on something personal. When he tried to picture someone doing the same for him, his heart felt heavy with the realization that no one really came to mind. There had only been one person that had truly cared for his wellbeing but that person was long gone now, leaving nothing but emptiness in her wake.
In an effort to distract himself Hayato concentrated on observing the little trinkets that decorated the residence. All over the room there were small knick knacks and bobbles randomly placed to liven up the otherwise bland space. Many pieces looked as if they were from other countries leaving the fair haired boy to speculate that the Sawada family must have been well traveled to have acquired such an assortment of souvenirs. He envied having that kind of freedom.
Looking elsewhere, Hayato's gaze was drawn to a splash of color overhead. On the walls, placed haphazardly, were countless framed pictures featuring several people in various locations. His eyes roamed over them, passing over the unfamiliar faces. He was somewhat surprised to see how few pictures included Tsuna. Mrs. Sawada seemed like the type of mom that would want to commemorate every possible occasion with her son. But then Hayato thought back to Tsuna's bored countenance and figured the smaller boy probably didn't like having his photo taken.
Finished with the inspection, Hayato found that overall nothing in the room matched and that the space seemed more like a storage room than a living room. He could almost hear his "mother" scoff at how uncouth the interior design was. The thought of her disapproval almost brought a smirk to his lips because while the room may have been unconventional, it somehow suited the Sawadas to a tee.
Belatedly, his eyes swiveled back to the mother son pair. He started in surprise when his gaze met Nana's. She gave him an apologetic smile, "I'm sorry, dear. I haven't been a really good hostess, have I? Please make yourself comfortable. Is there anything you'd like to drink?"
Hayato, flustered by the sudden and unexpected attention, stuttered a response, "I-it's no problem, ma'am! I'm fine." Looking past her and seeing the small brunet shift anxiously in his sleep he continued hastily, eager to change the subject. "Will Tsuna be alright?"
Nana watched her son for a moment before turning back to the fair haired boy with a small upturn of the lips that was probably meant to be reassuring. The stiffness of her shoulders, however, gave away her distress. "It's nice of you to worry, dear. But, Tsuna will be okay. Once he gets a bit of rest, he'll be up and about in no time!"
Hayato nodded in response, not really convinced but unwilling to call the bluff. The contemplative silence that had sprung up between them was interrupted when his stomach gave a loud growl. Clutching his stomach in a futile attempt to quiet it, he desperately tried to fight back the embarrassed flush that was crawling up his cheeks.
Nana blinked at the noise. She raised a hand to her cheek in shame, "Oh my, where are my manners! Of course you'd be hungry after all that excitement from earlier. Just hold tight while I whip us up something real quick."
Hayato tried to protest, proclaiming that he wasn't really that hungry but the maternal woman would hear none of it. Resigned, he decided that there was no stopping the force known as Nana Sawada. "Well, if you insist," he finally replied meekly, a bit overwhelmed by Nana's hospitality.
As she reached the doorway to the kitchen, Nana turned an anxious glance back at Tsuna. Seeing her hesitation, Hayato spoke up. "I don't mind watching over him for you, ma'am."
"Thank you, dear. In that case, I'll leave him to you," she gave him a grateful smile before exiting the room.
Unsure of what else to do, Hayato took a seat on the couch beside Tsuna. Within minutes, however, he found himself feeling bored and his gaze once again wandered around the room. He entertained himself by imagining the stories that lied behind each mysterious item, daydreaming of epic quests in danger ridden jungles or daring journeys on raging seas. After a while, though, he turned his attention turned back to the lump next to him. When nothing out of the ordinary occurred with the boy cocooned in blankets, Hayato let his gaze stray to the family photo decorating the small table beside him.
The picture looked as if it had been taken fairly recently judging by the summer attire of the subjects. Hayato's focus was drawn to the big burly blonde beside Tsuna and Nana. Having seen the man in several other photos in the room, he quickly concluded that the man must be the brunet's father. Though, the goofy grin that the man wore made it hard for Hayato to believe that the blonde could be even remotely related to the small boy. Next to the muscular male, Tsuna's face remained stoic, almost as if it were carved from stone. At the contrasts in expressions, Hayato couldn't help but let out a snort of amusement. Maybe not the standard picture of "happy family" but he could still tell the Sawadas loved one another dearly. "Must be nice," he mused wistfully.
Turning away from the framed picture, Hayato looked back to the collage of photos hanging on the wall opposite from them. There were many pictures of the Mrs. Sawada and the burly blonde with unfamiliar people but there was only one other photo that caught Hayato's attention enough to examine in detail. The picture captured the Sawada couple standing with an elderly man that wore a gaudy shirt decorated with exotic flowers. The old man's gaze was kind as his reddish brown eyes regarded the man and woman next to him. Hayato guessed that the geezer must be Tsuna's grandpa. Curiously, though, the elderly man felt familiar to him. The feeling got stronger the longer he stared at the old man but he soon gave up on the train of thought when he failed to recall ever meeting the elderly man.
Turning away morosely, Hayato sighed, his mood taking a downward turn. Seeing all these encased memories made his chest feel oddly hollow. When he thought of how the family mansion was only decorated with stiffly painted family portraits, the emptiness only grew. He wished the manor possessed a quarter of the warmth that this house so freely radiated. Maybe then he wouldn't feel the chill of loneliness freeze his insides as he roamed the desolate corridors.
Maybe then he'd be willing to call that lifeless place "home".
Shaking the dark sentiments away, Hayato's tried to center his thoughts on his plans for the immediate future. He nodded to himself, determined, as he eventually came to a firm decision. There was no way he could intrude on these people for any longer than necessary. Once he came up with a reasonable idea on what to do next, he was going to get the heck out of their hair. Further preparation would have to have to wait, however, as a groan sounded from next to him. Hayato turned, trying to get a good look at the source of the noise.
Curled on his side, Tsuna slept swathed in blankets. The small brunet shifted restlessly, moaning pitifully, fever dusting his normally pale cheeks a rosy red. Hayato was struck by how odd a sight it was to see the normally stoic boy so disheveled. Where was the fearless kid who had nonchalantly stepped into the line of gunfire? Tsuna whimpered out a strained sound that reminded Hayato of a wounded animal and his gut twisted uncomfortable at the cry.
In the end, his expressionless savior was just a helpless little boy. Just like him.
Hayato wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or disappointed.
As Tsuna turned once again, the blankets covering him dropped to the floor. Hayato moved to place them back on the brunet, figuring it was the least he could do for the other boy. More than anything, though, he was glad for the distraction. Maybe his thoughts wouldn't stray as much if he kept his hands busy. But just as he knelt to pick the cloth up off the floor the brunet let out a blood curdling scream.
"What the –!?" Hayato exclaimed, startled by the sudden reaction.
Nana rushed into the room in alarm, spatula still in hand, "Tsu-kun!"
Hayato took a panicked step away from the boy, "I didn't – I mean, he just – I don't –"
The brunette placed a comforting hand on the blabbering boy's shoulder before kneeling down beside her hysterical son. "It's not your fault, dear," she explained distractedly. "Tsuna sometimes gets nightmares."
"Nightmares?" Hayato echoed uncertainly as he watched Nana steadily work to calm the panicked boy. The brunet had stopped screaming but his breathes came in choking gasps, as if he couldn't quite take in the air he needed.
How often did Tsuna get night terrors for her to be so used to handling the situation? But, more importantly, what could scare the normally passive boy so much to cause this reaction? Seeing the small boy keening like a cornered puppy, calling it a "nightmare" seemed to putting it a bit lightly. The way the brunet groaned in his sleep, brows furrowed in distress, gnawed at Hayato, making the hair on the back of his neck stand. Initially, he'd had been annoyed with Tsuna's indifference, disturbed even, by the lack of expression. Now, though, he found that he much preferred that to seeing him so frightened.
"I-is there anything I can do to help?" Hayato found himself blurting out before his brain could catch up with his mouth.
Nana turned toward him, surprised by the unexpected offer. She gave a soft smile at his earnestness, "Sure there is," she said kindly, gently grabbing one of his hands and placing it on top of one of Tsuna's. The brunet's fingers had clawed into couch, his body trembling violently as his breaths came in heaving gasps. Hayato merely stared at the woman in disbelief, confused beyond all reason as to how this was supposed to help in any way, especially when the brunet showed no signs of calming down.
Seeing the look on the fair haired boy's face Nana squeezed his hand lightly, trying to reassure him that he was in fact helping, "It may not seem like much but small things like this go a long way." She carded a hand through Tsuna's fluffy hair gently, watching with melancholy eyes as the brunet stopped shaking but his clenched fists and breathing didn't relax, "It lets him know that he's not alone."
The fair haired boy remained silent as he took in her words. He understood, more than he'd like to admit, that desperate fear of being alone. He felt it latch onto him each time he wandered the vacant hallways of the mansion, dragging him further and further into its depths.
Hayato may not understand the boy named Tsuna Sawada and he probably never would, but what little he had learned was achingly familiar, so much so that his heart hurt.
They were both just lonely kids, trying to outrun the fear.
Hayato wondered if either of them ever will.
After a moment Nana continued, "As his mother, it pains me that I can't do more for him when he's suffering like this. But…" She looked up at him and her expression was so hopeful that Hayato felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach, leaving him breathless, "But, I think that maybe you can help him in a way that I can't."
And it was true. Hayato may not have noticed but Nana certainly had. She saw the way Tsuna's breathing was starting to ease the longer the fair haired boy held on.
Hayato's mouth was dry as he tried to swallow with difficulty. The weight of her words were threatening to crush him because, really, what did she expect him to do? What could Hayato possibly do for Tsuna that even his own mother, who in all respects seemed like pretty much the best mom anyone could ask for, couldn't? Especially when he was just some random, not to mention suspicious, kid that this family had known less than a day.
Nana watched patiently as Hayato appeared to struggle to form a response. He obviously didn't believe her but she knew she could trust him to be the friend that Tsu-kun so desperately needed. Call it motherly instinct or intuition. Whatever the feeling was, she knew it would lead to something wonderful because it was the same something that had led her to Tsunayoshi that fateful rainy day that felt like so long ago.
But above all that, Nana knew because she had seen the look in Tsu-kun's eyes when he had looked at Hayato, had seen the excitement and happiness that radiated from her otherwise somber son. This boy in front of her gave her son hope.
Hayato tightened his hold on Tsuna's hand, feeling the fist finally unclench. He knew he wasn't worthy of the trust Tsuna's mother, for whatever reason, had in him. Now was the time to admit everything. To explain why they should throw him out of their home and never talk to him again. But, no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't muster out the words.
Because he had seen what it was like to be normal, to be part of a family that unconditionally loved one another. To have a friend that valued your companionship. To be needed.
And most importantly, learned that home wasn't so much a place as it was being with people that you treasure.
He wanted that, however undeserving he may be.
.
.
.
'Hurts. Can't breathe. Stop. Stop! Please stop!'
The words were lodged in his aching throat, refusing to rise to the surface. Tsuna wanted to struggle, to fight against the hands that pushed and pulled him, to scream until his voice gave out, but his body refused to move.
Over and over, they plunged his head into the tub of stale and dirty water. A voice laughed as his body mechanically forced the water out of his lungs in the form of great hacking coughs. His nose and throat burned as he vomited out the disgusting water, stomach heaving with the force of his gags.
"Hey, if you hold him down for too long he might die, you know?" The voice said, still snickering as his companion pulled the boy's head out of the water by his hair.
"Well, isn't that the point," the man responded stoically, "After all, how else will we awaken the highly famed 'Dying Will'? All other methods so far have proved fruitless."
"You and I both know that's not going to happen with this emotionless carcass. I don't understand why the higher-ups continue to bother trying. It's a waste of time and effort."
"Then why did you volunteer for this task?"
"Anything's better than watching over those crazy little bastards in the other wards. Especially subject sixty nine. Fucker gives me the creeps. Besides," the amused man continued, "I enjoy playing around with subject twenty seven. You can do whatever you want to him and he won't even fight back." Laughter filled the air once again.
"What poor taste in hobbies you have."
"Says the guy drowning the kid."
"Everything I do is for the sake of science."
The rest of the conversation was muted as Tsuna's head was once again forced back into the water. No matter how much he wished to struggle, it was futile. His body was heavy, as if it was made of lead, and his fingers wouldn't even twitch despite the raging thoughts in his mind. All he could do was lay there limply as the men continued to fling him around like a rag doll. 'When will it end?' Tsuna wondered desperately.
After what seemed like an eternity, the brunet's head was pulled back up as a voice once again spoke. "Just leave him in there," one of the men said, having grown bored with the little experiment.
"Enjoy your bath, subject twenty seven," the other man continued and with that Tsuna felt his body soar into the air only to crash into the large tub full of bone chillingly cold water.
The brunet sunk to the bottom of the container, staring unblinkingly at the dark ceiling of the room past the cloudy surface of the water. Even though his lungs burned with the need to breath, his body still wouldn't move.
As he lay there motionlessly a small hand thrust itself into the filthy water, grabbing one of Tsuna's clenched hands tightly before pulling him out of the tub with an unexpected strength. It pulled him through the surface of murky liquid and Tsuna looked at the hand in wonder, grateful for the warmth it had brought.
.
.
.
Tsuna awoke with a gasp to the sight of wide emerald eyes. Blinking in surprise, the brunet tried to calm his heaving breathes. The cool air that entered his lungs was refreshing and he was glad to feel the phantom burn in his throat, nose, and chest fade. He slowly sat up, limbs still heavy with the remnants of fever.
Nana placed a supporting hand on his back, "How are you feeling, Tsuna?"
Tsuna swallowed a few times, mouth opening to answer when his stomach gave a loud growl. He clutched it while looking at Nana, brown gaze hopeful, "Hungry?"
Hayato and Nana stared at him for brief moment before Nana broke out into relieved laughter and Hayato stifled an amused snicker. As they calmed down, the pair looked at one another and shared a smile. Tsuna blinked at them in confusion. He didn't understand what was going on but he was glad to see the worry lining the edges of his mother's eyes fade away.
"Well then, sleepy head," she said happily, "you woke up just in time! You sit tight while I set everything up," and with that she went back into the kitchen, humming cheerfully.
The two boys watched her leave, sitting in silence. It wasn't until they heard the soft clattering of plates that it was broken by a timidly whispered, "Thank you."
Hayato turned to Tsuna, baffled, "For what?"
"You held my hand while I was asleep, right? It still feels warm," he replied, staring down at the appendage. Seeing the weird look on the other boy's face Tsuna tilted his head, perplexed, "What?"
Hayato shook his head, "I'm just amazed by your ability to say embarrassing things with an emotionless face."
"Is that…bad?"
"Not really. It's actually kind of funny," Hayato answered with a half-smile. It was strange, being able to talk so normally with a kid that had been a stranger hours ago (not to mention unconscious for most of time). Strange but…nice, he decided, finding that he was actually enjoying himself.
"Dinner's ready~!" Nana sang as a delicious scent filled the air, unknowingly interrupting the two. Undeterred, the boys eagerly sat down at the table, more than ready for food. Tsuna's eyes nearly sparkled with delight when he saw what Nana had prepared for supper.
"Omurice," Hayato murmured from his seat next to Tsuna. The brunet glanced at the other boy, surprised that he knew the name of the dish.
"Ara," Nana said as she took a seat at the table, "have you had omurice before, Hayato-kun?"
"Kun?" the boy asked, bewildered.
"Oops, sorry about that, dear," Nana replied, "Sometimes I slip and use the Japanese way of addressing people."
"I see," he said thoughtfully. There was a long stretch of silence that had Hayato looking at the pair, puzzled. Noticing their expectant expressions he hurriedly answered, remembering that he had been asked a question, "Ah, I, um, have had omurice before. My..." the boy paused before continuing in a quieter voice, "My piano teacher made it for me once." Wanting the change the subject, Hayato shoved a large spoonful of the rice omelet into his mouth and was genuinely shocked by how pleasant it tasted, "This is delicious!"
"I'm glad you think so!' Nana said, positively glowing at the praise. It wasn't often that she got the opportunity to cook for people other than Tsuna and Iemitsu, not that they didn't pay her compliments any chance they got. The two of them were such dears, honestly.
Hayato swallowed the second spoonful with more difficulty. For some odd reason his eyes stung and his nose burned with the urge to cry. Really, just because this was the first home cooked meal he'd had in, like, forever there was no need to get so emotional. 'Pull yourself together!' he thought harshly.
Nana gazed at him with a soft smile, eyes understanding. She continued on, giving him a brief chance to compose himself, "Though, I'm sure you could find much more delicious dishes at the family restaurants in Japan."
Hayato tried to covertly wipe his nose on his sleeve before he responded. He gave an embarrassed but grateful nod as Tsuna handed him a napkin. "I take it you and Tsuna are from Japan, ma'am?"
"Hmm, well," Nana replied, "I'm from a small town called Namimori, in the southern part of Japan. But Tsu-kun was born and raised here in Italy."
"Really? So you've never been to Japan? Have you ever wanted to visit?" Hayato asked, turning to the brunet, surprised at himself by the fact that he was actually interested in knowing.
Tsuna nodded enthusiastically, "I've been learning a lot about Japan from Mama. It seems like a very nice country." Seeing Hayato's contemplative face, he posed a question of his own, "Have you ever thought of going there?"
"I have, actually," the fair haired boy answered, expression melancholy. "There is somewhere I'd really like to visit." Sensing his mood, the Sawadas refrained from pushing the subject.
"In that case, we should all take a trip there!" Nana said, eyes twinkling in excitement. "I'd love to show you and Tsu-kun my hometown."
Hayato was nodding along before he knew it. Realizing what he was doing he started in surprise and leaped up from the table so suddenly his chair fell with a clatter to the ground. Tsuna and Nana jumped at the abrupt noise.
"No, no, no," he said, waving his hands in refusal wildly. How could he let himself be caught up in the flow of conversation? Hayato hadn't even realized when he'd gotten trapped in the Sawadas' pace. How frightening! He wouldn't be joining their little trip because he would be leaving them after this day. Permanently.
"No?" Nana asked weakly, disappointment clear on her face. Even Tsuna managed to emit downtrodden puppy vibes with caramel eyes.
Hayato's shoulders slumped unconsciously, feeling guilty despite his best efforts not to, "Yes."
"Yes?" Nana asked, expression turning hopeful. Tsuna perked up as well.
Seeing the eager look on their faces, Hayato hurriedly continued, "No! I meant, yes, no. I can't. Really. I shouldn't even be here. Talking with the two of you, I mean." He was rambling and he knew it but he couldn't stop. "I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me, both of you. But I should really be leaving now." A quick bow and he was halfway to the front door.
Nana and Tsuna shot up from the table. It was the woman's hand on the Hayato's shoulder that stopped him in his tracks. "Please wait a moment Hayato-kun. If we said anything that made you feel uncomfortable then I'm terribly sorry. But please don't feel as if you need to leave. We are more than happy to have you here." At her side Tsuna nodded frantically, hesitant to say anything lest he scare the other boy off like a timid rabbit.
Under her fingertips, Nana could feel Hayato tremble. He swirled around to face her, "Why?" his voice cracked on the word. "Neither of you know anything about me! How can you sit there and talk so normally with me wh-when you haven't asked me what, what happened or w-why I was being chased in the first place!?"
Nana guided the distraught boy over to the couch. Hayato was too busy trying to swipe away tears, horrified to realize he was crying, to resist her. She rubbed his back soothingly while Tsuna sat beside him in a show of silent solidarity.
"Well now," Nana began amiably, "Tsu-kun and I have never really been ones to pry. As for why we helped you," she hummed thoughtfully, "I've found there doesn't really need to be a reason to help someone else out, does there?"
At some point since Nana began speaking, Tsuna slipped a reassuring hand into Hayato's. Involuntarily, Hayato tightened his hold on the small hand. "But why? Why be so nice when there's no benefit?" he sounded so lost.
"Because everyone deserves a little bit of kindness in their life," Nana answered moving her arm around the boy's tiny shoulders to give him a hug.
'Even me?' Hayato couldn't help wondering, 'Even though I bring nothing but unhappiness?'
The young Italian shook his head stubbornly, "But nothing good will come out of helping me. I'm part of the mafia, you know! Being with me could put you in danger!" To his confusion, neither Nana nor Tsuna so much as twitched at the revelation.
"Really, now," Nana said instead, tone nonchalant, "actually, my husband –"
All three of them tensed as the front door swung open unceremoniously. A loud voice bellowed, "Honey, Tsuna ~, I'm home!" from the doorway.
Nana was the first to snap out of her surprise. She gave Hayato a reassuring squeeze before letting go to make her way to the entrance, "Ara! I wasn't expecting you to come home today, Iemitsu."
"Welcome back, Papa," Tsuna called out, remaining in his seat by Hayato.
Hayato, on the other hand, was silent. Initial shock wearing off, his brow furrowed in concentration as he turned the name over and over again in his head. He wiped away the last of his tears distractedly as he thought. 'Iemitsu, Iemitsu. Where have I heard that name before?'
As he kept pondering this question, the man in the doorway finally made his way into the house. It wasn't surprising to see the shock of blond hair or the stocky figure of the tall male. After all, Hayato had seen the man in several pictures throughout the house. What had the final pieces of the puzzle click into place was the crisp black suit that adorned his figure together with the name "Iemitsu".
'Iemitsu Sawada! Young Lion of the Vongola!'
Hayato flew up from his seat, dragging poor Tsuna up with him. He pointed an accusing finger at the man, "What the heck is a Mafioso like you doing here!?"
At the sudden shout Iemitsu's attention was finally brought to the occupied living room. The broad grin on the man's face dimmed as recognition lit his eyes. He heaved a great sigh before stating exasperatingly, "I should've known the Don's missing son would be in my home." A black cloud of depression seemed to hover around him at the revelation.
Hayato tensed defensively, "What's that supposed to mean?" he snarled angrily, instantly suspicious.
Detecting the change in atmosphere Tsuna moved toward his father, pulling a resisting Hayato after him. "Papá, I'd like you to meet my new friend, Hayato Gokudera" he said, Nana's handy etiquette lessons coming into play. "Hayato, this is my Papá, Iemitsu Sawada."
Hayato's stared at his "friend" in amazement, eyebrows twitching erratically and jaw slack in disbelief. Was…was this kid actually serious? Talk about not being able to read the air!
Iemitsu faced his son with a weak smile. "F-friend, Tsuna?" he asked feebly.
"Mm," Tsuna gave a firm nod, "friend."
Nana placed a hand on her husband broad shoulder, her grip tightening as she spoke, "Isn't it adorable, dear? Tsuna's managed to make his first friend! We should do everything we can to welcome him, right?" Though she was smiling, the upturn of her lips was terrifying rather than pleasant.
Tsuna merely observed, head tilted inquisitively.
Hayato felt the irrational need to run.
Iemitsu paled considerably.
"O-of course, love! In, in fact, we should let him spend the night!" the blond laughed nervously, sweating dripping down his stiffly grinning face. "That way Hayato here can spend more time playing with Tsuna!"
Flowers of happiness bloomed around Nana, "What a wonderful idea, dear!"
Hayato, meanwhile, watched the proceedings with an unblinking stare, mouth opening and closing uselessly like a fish. Beside him Tsuna patted his back, the motion feeling oddly as if the brunet was trying to console his new friend.
"Eh!?"
.
.
.
Tsuna helped his mother situate the extra blanket and pillow onto his bed while Hayato stared at the wall vacantly, trying to wrap his head around the last twenty four hours.
When he'd ran away from the manor first thing in the morning, spending the night at the home of the Young Lion of the Vongola couldn't have been the farthest thought from his mind.
Yet here he was, doing just that. Really, what had his life come too?
"There now," Nana said, task accomplished, "I hope you'll find this comfortable. Unfortunately, we don't really have a guest area you can stay in but I just wouldn't feel right making you sleep on the couch."
Hayato snapped out of his daze at the apologetic tone, "Not at all, ma'am! I'm very grateful for your hospitality."
Nana gave him a warm smile, "You're very welcome. Make sure he gets settled in, okay Tsu-kun?"
"Yes, Mama," the boy replied, straightening purposely with the newfound responsibility.
Nana had to smother a giggle at the endearing response. She turned to make her exit for the night only to pause as she caught sight of Hayato's frowning face. "Ne, Hayato," she murmured, getting the boy's attention, "I know Iemitsu talked about taking you back home tomorrow. But, if you'd like, you are more than welcome to stay here for as long as you need."
Hayato gazed at her in surprise. It would be so very easy to say yes, to accept the out that she was giving him. But…"Thank you, Mrs. Sawada, for the kind offer. But, I think that Mr. Sawada may have been right. I can't keep running away forever." No matter how much he might have wished too.
Though in all honesty, looking back on his actions, even Hayato had to admit he'd been a bit cowardly. It was just that, staying in that mansion any longer, after learning that Ms. Lavina had…that his mother had…He just couldn't. And, young and inexperienced as he was, he quickly learned that running away had literally amounted to nothing. In his father's eyes, it was probably equivalent to a child throwing a temper tantrum. That thought alone, made Hayato's ears burn in shame.
So he'd decided to prove his father wrong by settling matters with the man in a manner befitting an adult, to demand from him the whole truth of his lineage and to refuse to settle for anything less. That would show the self-serving asshole!
When Nana gave him a proud smile, Hayato looked away bashfully. "Well, dear, if that's what you've decided I won't try to stop you. But I hope you know that you will always be welcome in our home."
Hayato ducked his head to hide his flushing face, nodding, "Mm. Good night, Mrs. Sawada."
"Good night, Hayato-kun, Tsu-kun. Sweet dreams~!"
"Good night, Mama."
Once Nana left the room the two boys stood in silence. Hayato, for his part was starting to get used to the quiet that came with being alone with Tsuna. It was, unexpectedly, not as awkward as it had once seemed. "Ready for bed?" he asked. The brunet nodded in answer.
The two tucked themselves in. It was a bit of a snug fit but the boys managed to maneuver themselves into a comfortable position, lying back to back. All that was left was to wait for sleep to come.
Only it didn't.
Despite all the stress the day had piled on him, Hayato didn't find himself feeling the least bit tired. Plus it didn't help that he wasn't used to sleeping beside another person and the queen sized bed in his own room was no way near this cramped.
That wasn't to say this experience was entirely unpleasant. Having someone next to him seemed to lift away the constant heaviness in his chest. How peculiar. Idly, he wondered if Tsuna felt similarly.
Maybe running away hadn't amounted to completely nothing. It had led him to the Sawada family and to his new…friend. If Tsuna had ties to the mafia too, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad if they were to remain friends. He could hope, at the very least.
"Ne Hayato," the brunet whispered, startling Hayato out of his thoughts.
"Yeah?"
"Are you asleep, yet?"
Hayato rolled his eyes though the other couldn't see it, "Obviously not, dummy."
'Dummy?' Tsuna wondered, shifting slightly. "Okay."
Silence.
Hayato sighed, "Can't sleep?"
"Mm. I think I slept too much earlier."
Hayato frowned as he recalled the brunet's fevered state of unconsciousness. "Do you get nightmares often?"
Tsuna gave a thoughtful hum, "Sometimes. But with you beside me, I don't think they'll come back."
"You can't just – …Ugh!" Hayato groaned, feeling his ears heat up in embarrassment.
"Hmm?"
"Nothing, just…nevermind!"
More silence. Somewhere in the room, a clock ticked away the seconds.
"Your mom is really nice," Hayato murmured, distilling the quiet.
"Yeah," Tsuna responded. Words could never express how grateful he was that Nana had taken him in, had wanted him to be part of her family. He knew that he was extremely fortunate to have met her. Not sure what else to say, the brunet asked another question, "What is your mother like?"
Hayato tensed before slowly relaxing, minutes passing by silently. He considered the innocent question, wondering how much he should disclose. He thought about giving a vague response but somehow, the way Tsuna didn't press him to answer made Hayato feel as if he could admit the truth in confidence, without receiving any judgment. So he took a deep breath and began to speak, "My 'mother' isn't my real mom."
Away from view Tsuna blinked, puzzled. Not his real mom? Like the way Nana wasn't Tsuna's "real" mother? Despite his confusion Tsuna remained quiet, opting to continue listening.
"My real mom was actually my piano teacher. But you know what's funny? I never realized that until it was too late," the other boy laughed softly, the sound dark and bitter. "I was only allowed to see her three times a year but I always looked forward to those days. Every time she would bring me presents, even if the day she came wasn't my birthday," he chuckled again, only this time it was lighter, more genuine. "They weren't expensive or anything but I still loved them because they came from her."
Hayato's voice was starting to become thick and he cleared his throat hurriedly, afraid that he'd lose his nerve if he took too long. "Ms. Lavina was," a pause, "Mom was a very gentle person. Your mom reminds me of her a lot since they're similar in that way."
Despite his best efforts, Hayato could feel the familiar sting of tears. How vexing, to realize he'd cried more in this single day than he had all of last year. As if sensing the sadness in the air, Tsuna shifted until his back rested against the other boy's. Hayato sniffed, swallowing back the tears, determined not to cry but grateful for the show of comfort, nonetheless.
"To be honest, I don't think I ever really took the time to appreciate her or the things she did for me," Hayato said after a while, resolved to forge ahead even if what came next was the hardest to admit. "I was such a brat, you know. The last time we met I asked if she could visit more often. Even though I knew I was troubling her, I was so persistent about it. When she still refused, I got mad." He paused, trying to speak past the lump forming in his throat, "Can you believe it? I even said something as horrible as 'I hate you' to her." The tears he held back steadily fell. "When it was my birthday, a day she always visited, and she didn't come I knew it had to be my fault." The tears fell faster, "It wasn't until months later that I heard she died in a car accident on her way to visit me. She even had a present with her…for an undeserving, selfish, little brat! I –" he cried, breathe catching, "I wouldn't blame her if she resented me."
The air was still between them, stifling in contrast to his cold insides. Hayato started in surprise when Tsuna moved beside him and said, "I think that even now, Ms. Lavina still loves you very much."
Hayato turned to the brunet, incredulous, "Wha – what part of all that would make you think that!?"
Tsuna sat up to look at the other boy, "Because the present meant that she forgave you."
Hayato looked away angrily, scrubbing harshly at his tearstained face, "What would you know? There's no way that's true."
The brunet shook his head gently, "Maybe. Maybe not. But that's what I'd like to believe and I hope that someday you do too." When Hayato remained silent he continued, hoping his next words would do a better job of convincing the stubborn boy, "Mamma once said that when we say things that we don't mean it's important to apologize and forgive one another, and that it's especially important that we learn to forgive ourselves."
When Tsuna turned back toward Hayato, brown met emerald. When the brunet failed to back down the fair haired boy averted his gaze, sighing. "Maybe. Someday. Happy?"
Tsuna nodded, satisfied for now. Someday for sure, though. Definitely.
The two settled down once again in the bed, this time facing one another. "Hey, Hayato. Would you mind if I asked where it is it that you wanted to visit in Japan?"
The addressed boy gave a nonchalant shrug, not even phased at this point by the abrupt change in topic. "Not really. It's not as if it's anywhere particularly special. For most people, at least," he muttered.
Tsuna patiently waited for the rest of his response and Hayato wondered if he knew what it would be when the brunet failed to show an ounce of shock as he answered, "My mother's grave."
"I see," Tsuna said softly. "If we ever go to Japan, would you mind if I came with you when you visit her?"
Hayato eyes widened in surprise, "W-why?"
"I'd like to meet her," was the brunet's reply.
There was a long stretch of silence that had Tsuna wondering if he'd offended his friend with the request. Just as he was about to apologize, however, Hayato spoke up. " I think mom would like to meet you too," he whispered and a warm feeling permeated through Tsuna at the unspoken promise behind the words.
For Hayato, it was a bittersweet feeling to reveal the biggest regret in his life but he found that more than anything he felt relieved, "Thanks."
"Hmm?" Tsuna mumbled, consciousness wavering as sleep finally took a hold of him, "For what?"
Hayato didn't answer and soon the brunet drifted to sleep. It wasn't until soft breathing filled the room that he finally responded, "For being my friend."
.
.
.
In his dreams Tsuna can hear the roar of thunder, see gray clouds heavy with coming rain, and feel the wind gradually picking up speed. A storm is brewing overhead but rather than being afraid Tsuna simply smiles.
.
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TBC
Thanks for all the reviews, alerts and favorites!
Whoo boy, guys. Real talk? I struggled real hard with this one. You don't even want to know how many revisions this chapter went through. Safe to say that I'm satisfied with how it turned out, though, so I hope you are too!
Happy Holidays~!