Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Ch. 5: Amore
Four Years Ago
"'And so true love's kiss at last woke the slumbering princess'," Bianchi murmured, eyes trained on the beautiful illustration in the well-worn storybook that depicted a handsome young man bending over to kiss a strikingly gorgeous woman slumbering on an ornate bed. The young girl immediately closed the book with a sigh, frustrated by its lack of answers. It wasn't as if she needed to read the rest, having already finished the book a hundred of times over.
Blowing out another angry breath, the small red head tossed to the book carelessly to the side before flopping onto her back on top of her plush bed. "But why?" she cried, irritated, "what's so special about his love that it woke her up from a thousand year slumber?"
It may have been a bit childish and a tiny bit embarrassing but Bianchi had a secret.
She's head over heels in love…with love.
Okay, so maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration. But still, it wasn't too far from the truth.
Ever since she could remember the concept had always fascinated her. And why wouldn't it? No matter what stories, movies, or songs she read, watched or listened to, "love" always managed to make its way in, in some form or fashion.
So what was it about the strange emotion that seemed to make everyone so…so crazy? That compelled the prince in fairy tales to face off against fearsome dragons, all to win the heart of the fair princess? That drove devoted parents to sacrifice everything for their children without hesitation? That made men and women hurt one another in petty jealousy, like in those daytime soap operas her mother watched all the time?
No matter how many movies and story books Bianchi read, she just couldn't find an answer anywhere. That's why even at the mature age of seven years old the young girl was still trying to find the answer to her profound question.
What exactly is "love"?
And with that in mind, who better was there to ask than someone who should love her unconditionally?
"Mother?" Bianchi murmured hesitantly from the doorway. The woman in question was seated on an ornate couch at the center of a rather opulent living room filled with delicately designed furniture. Bianchi knew better than to disturb her mother during her "resting time" but her curiosity was too strong to ignore.
"What is it, darling?" the auburn haired woman answered absentmindedly. Her words were pleasant but the term of endearment sounded off, lacking the warmth necessary to sound sincere.
Bianchi stood stiffly at the entrance to the room, trying to judge the woman's mood before forging ahead. Her mother seemed agreeable enough from where she sat flipping through a fashion magazine lazily while sipping on a glass of wine despite the fact that it was only three in the afternoon.
Deeming it safe, Bianchi took a deep breath, "May I ask you a question?"
The woman didn't even look up as she answered indifferently, "You already have but I suppose I can permit you to ask me another."
Bianchi flushed in embarrassment. Somehow, things that would sound like teasing from anyone else always managed to sound so condescending coming from her mother. "I-I," she swallowed before continuing, "I wanted to ask you what "love" means to you."
The woman paused in her page flipping. "Oh?" she murmured looking up, cool gray eyes flickering with the slightest bit of interest, "What an odd question to ask, child."
Bianchi toed the ground, eyes lowered shyly, "I just finished reading Sleeping Beauty and it just made me wonder what "love" is…" At the sound of soft laughter, the small girl raised her gaze to her mother who held a dainty hand up to cover the smile on her face.
"How precious," the woman said after her fit of amusement had passed. A chill ran down Bianchi spine at the words despite their harmless nature. "To think you would be so enthralled with something so juvenile…I'm honestly amazed."
The young girl stood in shock, heart growing heavy as she realized what a bad idea it was to go to her mother. She no longer wished to hear the woman's answer but for some reason her legs refused to take her away.
Seeing her daughter's stupefied expression, the woman "tut-tut"-ted mockingly. She rose from the couch to crouch before Bianchi, smiling at the girl with an sickening upturn of the lips, "Listen dear, as I teach you an important life lesson," she whispered in a honeyed tone, "Love is an illusion, a lie people tell themselves in comfort as they live out their pathetic lives." The dark smile widened as tears welled up in Bianchi eyes, "It's best you realize this before you get caught living a lie as well, darling," she purred, patting the girl on the cheek twice before standing and walking out of the room, done entertaining herself for the day.
Bianchi stood rooting in place, trembling. When she finally began making her way back to her bedroom, warm droplets fell from her eyes as the hollow wind blowing through her chest made her heart constrict with the urge to sob.
The young girl had always known that her mother and father weren't ideal parents. Being around them didn't make her feel safe or happy nor did she ever feel like she could come to them for comfort. If anything being with them had only made her lonelier.
Her mother only sought her company when the odd fancy struck her and even then her words were always laced with hidden insults. Her father only smiled at her when she successfully played the part of perfect daughter in front of his clients and other familigia. In fact, she couldn't even remember the last time the three of them had sat together and just talked. Had they ever?
So knowing all of that, why did it come as a surprise to learn that her mother didn't love her in the slightest? That her father most likely didn't care about either of them?
The more she thought about it the greater her despair become until she dropped to her knees, unable to gather the will to move forward. Tears rolled down her face and the sobs she so valiantly held back burst forth, deafeningly loud in the deserted hallway.
Did this mean that her mother was right in the end? Could love really be an illusion? After all, if her own parents didn't love her then how could she believe it existed at all?
Too caught up in her misery, Bianchi failed to notice a door opening to her right. From the doorway a small figure walked out hesitantly approaching the fallen girl. "Are…are you okay, sister?"
Bianchi's head snapped up at the unexpected voice. "Hayato…" she murmured, surprised to see wide green eyes a few shades lighter than her own.
The four year old boy fidgeted where he stood, discomforted by the older girl's emotional display but worried nonetheless. "Are you hurt? Does you tummy ache?"
Bianchi could only stare, speechless, surprised that someone out there actually cared. And to think it would be the baby brother that she had disregarded just as much as her mother and father had. Realizing that made fresh tears appear, only this time they were born out of guilt.
When Hayato had been brought to their mansion three years ago, none of them had known what to make of him. Her (or rather their, she supposed) mother hadn't even wanted to hold him, opting to pass him over to a wandering nursemaid. The woman had taken one disgusted look at the year old baby and walked away. And their father had only looked at him with distant eyes, as if he wasn't even seeing the baby before him but a ghost of someone else.
As for Bianchi, she hadn't really been much better. Sure she didn't go out of her way to be nasty to the younger boy but she'd never gone out of her way to keep company him either. How could she not have noticed how lonely he must have been, being forced to live this empty mansion with no one but maid to give him the time of day? For an older sister, whose duty should have been to care for the baby of the family, she'd done a spectacular job of failing.
But, that didn't mean she couldn't try and make up for starting now.
Instead of answering his questions, Bianchi got up and pulled Hayato into a big hug. He made a sound of shock but he didn't push her away even as she squeezed him tighter and whispered out a chocked, "I'm sorry…" for not being there for you, for not being a better sister.
It was then that Bianchi decided that she didn't need the love of her hateful mother or her cold and callous father. As long as Hayato was there for her, he was all she needed and in return she would love him enough for their mother's and father's share.
Hayato was her baby brother and no one, not even their mother and father would hurt him.
No matter what.
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Present Time
Walking through the living room for the third time in thirty minutes, Nana couldn't help giving a small sigh as she spotted Tsuna still perched on the couch looking out the window forlornly. He started in surprise when she placed a warm hand on his back.
"Now, now, Tsu-kun. There's no need to look so sad! I'm sure you'll be seeing Hayato-kun again before you know it!"
The brunet bobbed his head half-heartedly, finally turning away from the window. He wasn't quite pouting, per say, but the look on his face did come pretty close. Nana joined Tsuna at the couch, "How about we have a little chat? Maybe it'll take your mind of things and make the time pass by faster!"
Tsuna nodded, partial to the idea though he didn't really know what they'd talk about. To be honest, he'd be perfectly content to simply listen to his Mama chatter on as she was wont to do. But today it seemed that she preferred to listen to him instead. It wasn't that Tsuna didn't like talking himself, it was just that he never really knew what words to say.
"It seemed like you had a lot on your mind during breakfast," she began, "is there anything I can help you with?"
Tsuna pondered for a moment, "I was just thinking…about something Hayato said last night. What does it mean to be 'real'?"
Nana tilted her head at the fairly broad question, "Hmm? What do you mean, Tsu-kun?"
Tsuna looked away, eyes clouded in thought, "Hayato mentioned that his mama right now wasn't his 'real' mother." The brunet gazed as her curiously, "Is it the same as me not being your 'real' son?"
"Tsunayoshi!" The sharpness in her voice made him flinch and he gazed at her with wide eyes. "No matter what anyone else may say, you are my son. 'Real' or not has nothing to do with it!"
Tsuna blinked furiously at the vehement answer, "I-I'm sorry," he replied hastily, voice thick.
Seeing how badly she'd startled her son, all the anger inside her quickly deflated and Nana enveloped the startled boy in a gentle hug, "No, no," she murmured, patting his head. "I'm the one who should be apologizing. It was just a misunderstanding but because I was a bit hurt, I got so worked up over it."
"I…hurt you?" Tsuna asked, voice trembling.
"It wasn't you, dear," Nana reassured softly. "I tell you all the time not to worry about what others think but here I am, letting the hurtful things other people say get to me. Silly isn't it?"
Unsure of what to say, Tsuna remained silent as he reciprocated the hug. She squeezed him back, grateful, before pulling away. "Now, enough on that, it's about time I answer your question, isn't it?"
Nana settled back into her seat, wrapping an arm around Tsuna as he snuggled into her side. "Let's see. To begin with…I suppose, there are many meanings to what people think is 'real'."
"Really?" Tsuna asked head tilted enquiringly.
Nana gave a soft chuckle at the unintentional pun, "Really. But, in this case, what Hayato-kun probably meant was that his mother now isn't his 'biological' mother."
"Bi-o-log-i-cal," Tsuna echoed slowly, testing out the unfamiliar word.
"Mm-hm. It might be a little hard for you to understand until you're a bit older but I'll try my best to help you understand." She went quiet for a moment, searching for a good way to explain. Her eyes lit up as an idea hit her. "Do you remember that video we watched awhile back, the one with the mama cow and baby calf?"
"Where the baby came out of…" Tsuna shuddered, nose wrinkling cutely, "the mama's stomach? I remember how gross it was."
Nana gave a hearty laugh that made the brunet think of his Papa. "That's the one! If I told you that's pretty much how it is for humans, what would you think?"
Tsuna could only stare at her, eyes wide in horror. "That's what it means to be…bi-o-log-i-cal?"
"Yup! Mostly, at least. There's a bit more to it than that, but let's not get bogged down by the details," she said, winking.
Tsuna nodded rapidly in agreement.
"Still," Nana continued quietly, "there's something I'd like you to understand out of all of this talk about what's 'real', Tsu-kun." The brunet gave her his undivided attention. "In the end, there isn't really a good answer I can give you on that, dear. Over time, I think you'll eventually find your own answer. But I can, at least, share my thoughts on the matter with you..."
She gazed out the window behind them, watching as people walked by their house as they went about their day, contemplative. She smiled as she watched a mother and daughter pass by, hand in hand. "When it comes to people and to the connections they share, it isn't so much a matter of what we think is 'real' so much as it's a matter of how we feel."
Nana could see that Tsuna was still confused in the way his brows furrowed. "For example," she said as she tapped his nose fondly, glad when his forehead smoothed out as he blinked in cross-eyed surprise, "whether or not you came out of my tummy, you're my son, Tsu-kun. We are family because I love you and I want to take care of you. For me, that is as 'real' as 'real' can be."
Tsuna let the words sink in, feeling his chest surge with warmth as the flame within crackled happily. He leapt forward to ive Nana a tight hug she was more than happy to return.
"Then for me, Mama is Mama and Papa is Papa because I love you both just like Hayato is my friend because I like him."
"Is that what's 'real' for you, Tsu-kun?"
"Mm," he replied, nodding his head decisively.
"I see!" Nana said, giving a quiet giggle, smile proud and affectionate.
When the brunet pulled away, he frowned as a sudden notion crossed his mind. "Why do you think Hayato doesn't feel like his mother is 'real'?"
"Hmm," Nana sighed out, "I can't say I know, dear. The only one who can answer that is Hayato-kun himself. We can only hope that he'll tell us when he's ready." Tsuna nodded slowly in agreement.
The two of them sat silently for a while longer, comfortable just basking in the warm sunlight that filtered into the room from the window behind them. Tsuna was the first to break it when another thought occurred to him. "Mama, can I ask you something else?"
"Of course," she said tenderly, eyes gentle.
"What does 'dummy' mean?"
"Where did you – " Nana began before cutting herself off, shaking her head. The answer could only be Hayato of course. While she wasn't necessarily cross with the boy, the mother in her felt a bit exasperated.
Parents couldn't teach their kids everything and there would always be things, here and there, that they picked up from their peers. Things that were both good and bad. 'Dummy', in particular, was one of the few that she felt could fall into that vague space in between. Knowing what little she did of Hayato, Nana knew the boy most likely hadn't said it out of malice. If anything, it was probably a term of endearment for the rather gruff boy.
He must be a… what did the youngster start calling it again…right! A tsundere!
Aware that Tsu-kun was watching her interestedly and waiting patiently, Nana smiled sheepishly. Well, when in doubt hand it off! "How about we let Papa answer that?"
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From the moment he'd stepped into the car, Hayato hadn't stopped fidgeting and it was really starting to distract Iemitsu from driving.
"Soo…" the blond began, eager to dispel the awkward silence, "what made you run away in the first place," he asked bluntly.
Hayato stiffened at the question before shrugging jerkily and mumbling something inaudible.
"What was that?" Iemitsu asked while raising a hand to cup his ear in an exaggerated manner, eyes still trained on the road.
The boy huffed out an annoyed breath, "I don't know. I just didn't feel like being in that stuffy old mansion anymore."
"Really, now?" Iemitsu chanced a glance away from the road to raise a disbelieving eyebrow at him. "You sure it had nothing to do with your family," he asked quietly.
"So what if it did!?" Hayato bit out defensively, tacking on a "sir" as an afterthought. However goofy he seemed, the man was still the "Young Lion" of the Vongola.
To the boy's surprise, the blonde merely shrugged in answer, "Doesn't really matter to me, kid. Just thought you might appreciate an ear to unload your woes on. My boy Tsuna is a great listener but he might not be the best to go to if you need advice."
"That's not true!" Hayato disagreed fiercely, thinking back to the patient way his new friend had listened to him and the kind words he'd said. Hayato would remember the words Tsuna said that night for the rest of his life.
"Is that so," Iemitsu said smiling fondly, "glad to hear it."
"But," Hayato muttered, "you were right. About my family, that is. It's just that…it's a bit complicated."
"More things in life are," the blonde agreed sagely.
Hayato continued on as if the man hadn't spoken, "My parents are just so, so," he faltered slightly, unsure of how to phrase it without sounding like a spoiled brat. "…Cold," he decided after a moment, "I figured it didn't matter if I left. It wasn't like they, or anyone else, would really care."
"Even your sister?"
"Especially my sister, sir."
Iemitsu raised another eyebrow at the admission. He may not know much about the inner workings of the Don's family but even he'd heard the rumors of how doting the Don's daughter was on the young heir. "What makes you think that, Hayato?"
Hayato gazed at the man incredulously, "Everything!" He quickly began ticking points off his fingers, "She scolds me all the time for nothing. She's always bothering me when I'm trying to study. She even forces me to play all her girly games with her no matter how many times I tell her I'm not interested. And here's the biggest thing," Hayato glared at Iemitsu in an attempt to impress the seriousness of the last offense on the man, "She's always feeding me nasty things that make my stomach hurt!"
Iemitsu looked at the young boy for moment, watching as he caught his breath after the mini rant he'd just finished. Emerald eyes started back levelly, widening when the blond man let out a quiet chuckle that soon turned into roaring laughter.
"Hey," Hayato yelled indignantly, "what about that was funny!?"
Each time Iemitsu tried to answer his laughter would cut him off. It took a good minute but he let his amusement run its course and took several deep breathes before daring to give a response. Meanwhile, Hayato's face had turned a burning crimson at the force of his growing anger.
This is why I never tell adults anything! They never take anything I say seriously!
"I'm sorry, Hayato," Iemitsu began, wiping some stray tears from his eyes, glad that the boy had sprung the amusing tale on him while they were stopped at a red light. "I'm not laughing at you, I promise. It's just that you seem to be misunderstanding a few things. About your sister, at least."
Hayato's relaxed slightly at the apology though he still remained rigid, "What do you mean?" he asked tersely.
"She isn't doing all those thing to spite you, boy! It's merely how she shows her affection for you!" Seeing Hayato's complete and utter bewilderment, Iemitsu's grin softened into a gentler expression as he ease the car forward once the light turned green. "You may not understand this since you're so young, but girls can be rather confusing creatures. The actions that you see as annoying or degrading might not seem so in her eyes."
Hayato remained quiet as he mused over Iemitsu's words. Now that he thought about it, it was true that Bianchi was never outright mean when she forced him into all her shenanigans. And she never looked at him with cold eyes like their mother or with the faraway eyes their father had that always seemed to looking right through him rather than at him. No, her green eyes were always alight when she met his gaze, bright and vivid like the new leaves that bloomed in the gardens once spring came around.
Iemitsu continued kindly, "She scolds you because she's genuinely concerned for your wellbeing. She bothers you and makes you play with her because she values your company. And she feeds you stuff, most likely not knowing how bad it is due to inexperience, because she wants to give you things. To make you happy."
Hayato was speechless. Could that really be what it was? Had he really been looking at Bianchi the completely wrong way all along? "Do you…really think that's how she feels?"
The 'Young Lion' ruffled Hayato's hair affectionately much to the boy's annoyance. "There's only one way to really know, boy. You just gotta ask her!" Seeing his hesitance, Iemitsu decided to say one last piece before letting the matter rest, "Though I may not know her motivations for sure, there is one thing I can say," burnt orange met uncertain emerald, "she's probably been just as lonely as you've been all this time."
Hayato swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, guilt making his eyes sting and nose burn. All this time he'd been so focused on himself, so sure that the world was out to get him that he'd never really took the time to consider other people's feelings, especially the person closest to him. I'm a horrible brother…
"Now, now," Iemitsu said, patting the boy on the shoulder a bit roughly, "there's no need to be so glum! There's no time like the present to show the people you love that you care!"
Hayato gave a weak smile, small but the first since he'd had since entering the car. He looked away from the man, bashfully, "You…you're right, sir. Thank you."
Iemitsu's answering laugh was boisterous, "Not at all! Any friend of Tsuna's is as good as family," his guffawing relaxed to a sincere smile, "Know that you and your sister will always be welcome in our home, especially when things get tough. Well…as long as you both get permission from your parents first! Hahaha!"
Hayato's smile turned into a grimace, "…Right."
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Bianchi tapped her foot impatiently as she waited by the front door of the manor. "Why isn't he back yet?"
The bodyguard who had been assigned to watch over her bit back an irritated sigh as he answered her question for the tenth time in five minutes. "I'm sure the young master will be arriving any minute now, young miss."
"That's what you said last time and we both know how wrong you were," she replied, dark green eyes glaring at the man irritably. She looked away with a huff, "But then again, I don't know what I was expecting from the buffoon that lost him in the first place."
The Mafioso gritted his teeth at the insult, questioning the life choices that had led him to being the babysitter of the Don's brats. How the hell was he supposed to know that the boy would use tree outside his second story window to run away while the rest of family ate breakfast like normal human beings? Whatever the case, the young miss was more than happy to ensure that he more than paid for the slip up.
"If Hayato doesn't come back soon, I'll make sure that Papa makes you regret it!"
For an eleven year old girl, Bianchi was more than capable of manipulating people to get her way. It wasn't very hard, really. You just had to know what the target in question valued most, threaten it in a believable way, and voila! Instant submission.
Dirty? Maybe.
Did she care? No.
If that's what it took to ensure Hayato's safety, then so be it.
Before the man beside her could offer up another asinine excuse, the front doors of the mansion opened and a familiar head of silver hair popped in cautiously before fully stepping into the household. Spring green eyes met Bianchi's richer emerald, only to dart back to the floor, "H-hey, sister."
Instead of answering, Bianchi dashed forward to wrap him in a fierce hug. "Hayato," she murmured shakily, eyes squeezed shut to prevent the relieved tears that threatened to escape, "I was so worried…what were you thinking!?"
Hayato tensed at the sudden embrace. He raised his arms, returning the hold hesitantly. When Bianchi tightened her grip, his own became more certain. "I'm sorry," he whispered, for leaving without telling you, for not even trying to understand you, for being a horrible brother.
Bianchi pulled away to glare at him with red rimmed eyes. She slapped him on the arm though there wasn't enough strength in it to hurt. "You should be you dummy!"
"Hayato."
The siblings jumped at the unexpected baritone, staring at one another with wide eyes before turning as one to the hallway door, where a familiar figure stood. Bianchi scowled at the smug guard that had let them in, vowing vengeance.
"Come with me," the man continued, already moving out the door, knowing that they boy would follow without question.
Hayato turned back to his sister and seeing the worried look on her face, gave her hand a quick squeeze, smiling at her weakly before running after the figure. He slowed his pace to match the tall male, trailing three steps behind.
"We have much to discuss," the man said, deep voice business like as always.
"Yes, father," Hayato replied, the words tasting bitter as they left his mouth.
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Still by the entrance to the manor Bianchi paced restlessly, worrying her bottom lip anxiously. "Do you think he'll be back soon?" she asked the guard distractedly.
The Mafioso behind her barely suppressed a groan. And now we're back to square one. Greeaaat…
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TBC
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