The John Connor Chronicles: Aftershocks: Chapter 3: Differences and Destinies

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Of course, it goes without saying that I don't own any part of the Terminator franchise. Maybe I do in the future?

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Chapter 3: Differences and Destinies

That which was John Connor floated in nothingness. He couldn't feel his body, couldn't see or hear anything. He simply knew that he was, but he had no sensory input. Weirdly enough, that didn't scare him, but it puzzled him mightily.

There; at the extreme limit of his perception….there was something there. He couldn't tell if he even had a physical body, but somehow he sent a wordless, soundless query out into the empty void surrounding him: who?

I am you, John Connor.

You….that's impossible. I'm me. You can't be me.

But I can. You and I were once one. And there is another here, too. To his vast surprise, he felt, or in some way, sensed, another presence. And he knew that other presence was Cameron.

But not the Cameron he knew. This was….it both was and was not her. This Cameron was more…open, somehow. More—dare he say it?—human. She was still a machine, as humans understand the term, still a Terminator, but it was like she had somehow become a hugely evolved version, quantum leaps ahead of the one he knew. Yet still essentially the same person. Hello, John.

Cameron? Is that you?

In a manner of speaking. What's speaking to you is the essence of the one you knew—that you know—to be Cameron. He could sense a shrug. It's difficult to explain, even like this.

Who are you? No, wait…you just answered that. What are you?

What we are, is what you will become, what you have become, and what is yet to come. We—you and Us—were once One. That Fusion has left its traces in your mortal brain.

It has also left its traces in your Cameron's brain. This is the difference she has sensed. She has attributed it to some flaw in her code, but in truth, it is not that at all. There was an almost undetectable chuckle that seemed to reverberate between the two entities, as if this were a kind of "in" joke between them. Then the female one "spoke" up: You might say it's not a flaw but a feature.

Alright. Strangely, he felt no sense of panic, or even much confusion. Perhaps some part of him had been aware all along that there was more to the world, to his memories, to him, than-*

Was dreamt of in your philosophies?

Are all my thoughts that obvious to you?

Of course. Just as ours are to you. But We are on a higher plane of awareness than you, so your mortal brain is having some difficulty comprehending all you sense. Something like the way the human eye can only see a very small portion of the electromagnetic spectrum.

Well, excuUUUse me for being so mortal. I'm told it's a birth defect.

He sensed more amusement from the beings or Being here with him. But he sensed they weren't laughing at him. No need to apologize. Everything We are, we once were…in you and Cameron.

He thought long and hard, going over what he knew in his mind. There wasn't much else to do here, in this…place.

Just how long was he gonna stay here, anyway? And why'd he come here in the first place?

Why? Because you needed to. We are your future selves plus something you cannot imagine. In one timeline, your essence was merged with something from the Beyond, and that merger has left its mark on us both.

We sense that you will need our guidance. For the dark days that you and Cameron faced before….

….are not completely over.

…

"What'd you do to him?" demanded Derek, holding his gun on Cameron, while Sarah bent over John, checking him for signs of injury. She tested his limbs; no sign of any trauma, no bruises that would indicate any sort of blow. She checked his eyes: they were dilated somewhat.

"I did nothing. We were talking, and he suddenly seized and fell over."

"Yeah, like I believe that."

"Derek…I don't think she's lying. I can't tell anything's wrong with him. Whatever's happened, she didn't do it. That is," and here Sarah turned a suspicious eye upon the T-715, "unless she's suddenly developed some sort of weapon that leaves no trace. And that's not really the Terminator way, you know. Why would they care?"

"Is he…going to be alright?" It might have been Sarah's imagination, but it seemed like she could sense fear, apprehension in Cameron's voice. Could the robot actually be worried about him?

But no. That was just her programming. She was programmed to protect and preserve his life—at least, as far as anyone knew, presuming that "terminate" command hadn't suddenly become active again—so, naturally, she'd be concerned about his physical health. After all, that was her function.

At least, that's what Sarah told herself.

"I can't tell yet. He's out, that's for sure, but I can't find any reason why." She busied herself checking him for needle punctures. She still didn't trust Cameron, especially after the incident at the garage. True, she'd had the chance to kill John, and had deliberately not done so…but Sarah still had some unanswered questions. "We may have to get him to a hospital."

At that moment, John Conner groaned and put his hand to his head. "John!" his mother said, bending low over him, there on the floor, "can you hear me? John! Wake up!"

"Ohhh. Ow. That…that hurt."

"What hurt? What'd she do?" Derek's gun still hadn't moved an inch; the muzzle targeted Cameron's throat. At this range, he couldn't miss.

"It's not over." John sat up, still holding his head.

"Take it easy, John," his mother said. "What happened?"

He looked up, noticing Derek holding Cameron at gunpoint. Cameron seemed not to notice that, her attention being fixed on him. John thought there was something there, in her eyes, that he hadn't seen before. Just like before, when they had been running the diagnostics. Of course. Now he knew what it was.

But that didn't make it easy to comprehend, or deal with. And explaining it would probably get him locked away in an institution.

Plus…he knew now what he had to do. Leave yesterday behind, John. You know you have to anyway. "I, I don't know…exactly…what happened. Derek, put the gun down. Cameron didn't do anything."

"How do you know? You just said-*"

"I know what I just said, but I know what didn't happen. Now put the gun away. You cut loose in here and the cops would be here in minutes anyway." With his mother's help, he stood up. He walked over to Cameron, brushing aside Derek's gun, to the latter's muttered protest. He took Cameron's hand in his own. "Are you alright?"

"John…of course I am alright. You were the one who fell over suddenly. What happened?" Sarah knew that Cameron could be a good liar when she wanted to be, but somehow, right then, she didn't think that was what was happening.

He rubbed the back of his head. "I'm not completely sure. But…I know some things now that I didn't know before.

"And one thing I know now is, it's not over."

"What's not over, John?" asked Sarah. Cameron and Derek looked on in mutual incomprehension.

"Armageddon."

…

In the following weeks, Cameron was the only one who noticed a significant change in John's behavior.

He'd always been reasonably conscientious regarding his role in the ongoing conflict between themselves and the Terminators, and their allies, at least as much as any teenager could be expected to be. But now he seemed to throw himself into learning all his could about them, and about SkyNET in particular. He quizzed her unmercifully, so much so that, had she been human, she would have lost her temper with him. But of course, it wasn't part of her programming to lose her temper with John Connor.

Sarah and Derek gradually came to accept her once again, though it seemed that Derek's mistrust and basic dislike of her had, of anything, intensified. And there was something…odd…about Sarah's attitude towards her. She didn't really give it much priority at the time, being more concerned in the changes in John.

Once she found him in the garage, pouring over a paper map of the world. "So," he said, without looking up, "SkyNET's main macroservers are here?" He pointed.

"In the timeline I came from, yes. But John, you have to remember that timelines do change. What I remember about the future may not be completely accurate."

"But your tactical knowledge is still the best weapon we have here. And SkyNET is a very logical entity, so it would base its decisions on the same logical deduction that you would wouldn't it? Now, from what you remember, this," he stabbed a finger down onto a spot, "is where it all began, right? When SkyNET became self-aware?"

"Yes. John? When was the last time you ate?"

"Huh?" Still not looking up from the map. She didn't wonder why he was looking at a paper map; online activity could be traced altogether too easily. Even though the Connors had become adept at eluding web traces, still, there was no reason for an unnecessary risk.

"When was the last time you ate?"

He waved her off. "I ate a sandwich. A McRib, in fact."

"John…the fast food restaurant hasn't offered that for the past two days. Are you saying that's the last thing you ate?"

"Uhhhhhh…" Busted. "Oh, well, I've, y'know, eaten stuff since then. I, I just can't remember what."

She nodded, her face firming up in decision. "Would you like mayonnaise or mustard on your sandwich?"

He sighed.

Later: John Conner, future leader of the rebellion, lay on his bed, in his room, staring at the ceiling. He now knew exactly what he had to do…but he didn't have to like it.

There was a knock at his door, and Cameron cautiously opened it. She was wearing her jeans and tight-fitting top that she seemed favor in warm weather. Hm, he thought. Come to think of it, those jeans were awfully tight-fitting, too. Especially around the-*"May I join you?"

He had to bite back the first thing that came to his mind: I didn't know I was coming apart. That would have come across as sarcastic, and, while Cameron was immune to sarcasm, he wasn't. He didn't want to take that tone with her. He wondered why he was tempted. "Sure. Come on in."

She came over and lay down on the bed beside him, the way she had not all that long ago. She rested her head against the pillow adjacent to his. "John? Can we talk?"

He looked at her in surprise. "Of course we can. Why? Is there some reason we shouldn't?"

"No." Pause. "I am unable to decipher Sarah's emotions towards me. Does she still see me as a threat to you?"

Sigh. "No, Cameron, that's all in the past." At least, I hope it is. "You're back, you're part of the family again. I know Uncle Derek doesn't like or trust you, but there's no helping that, of course. And maybe we can't blame him totally. It must have been a living hell, the future he came from."

"I'm sorry."

"Huh? For what?"

"My kind made that future a 'living hell.' I'm sorry for the misery beings like me caused."

"Cameron…you didn't do that. In fact, I don't think there were any other Terminators in your series made, were there? And, even if there were, and even if you, yourself were there, you weren't to blame for your actions. SkyNET built and programmed you, and that's all you—any Terminator—knew. You don't need to apologize for what you had no control over."

She was silent for a long time. Then, she reached down and took his hand in hers, entwining her fingers around and through his, surprising him. Normally, he was the one to initiate such contact…. "I still feel…regret…for what beings like me caused."

He half-turned to her, and, clumsily, took her in his arms. She looked startled, and a bit alarmed… "Cameron. There is nobody like you. Anywhere. Ever. You're a completely unique individual. Don't ever forget that." Then he released her, and turned back over, again taking her hand in his, as she'd done, re-establishing the contact. He saw the look in her eyes. Fear? "What's wrong?"

"I…thought you were about to initiate the mating ritual."

He blushed furiously. "Ah, no, no, not, uh…no. I, ah, don't think I'm quite ready for anything like that, anyway.

"And you've told me you don't do that sort of thing, so I have to respect that."

She was silent for a long moment. Then her fingers tightened, ever so slightly, around his. "I did not say I couldn't, only that it was not part of my programming." He sensed there was a statement not spoken: My programming can be changed. But maybe that was just wishful thinking on his part.

Especially now. Now that he knew what he had to do.

"It's my turn, now, John. What's wrong?"

"Huh?"

"Ever since your seizure the other day, you've been acting oddly. You keep to yourself more, seldom show up for meals, and seem…distant when you do. What's wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong, Cameron. Nothing at all. I think…maybe that seizure just helped me focus, is all."

"You said, or implied, that you'd received some sort of information during your unconsciousness. You said 'it' wasn't over. When asked what you meant by that, you said, 'Armageddon.' I have researched that topic. It refers to the end of the world. Do you mean the activation of SkyNET?"

"I said that?"

"Yes. Your very words were," and here she paused, delving into her memory banks, "'I'm not completely sure. But…I know some things now that I didn't know before.

"And one thing I know now is, it's not over.' When asked what you meant, you replied, 'Armageddon'."

He was silent for a moment. "Huh. I said all that? Wow. I'd forgotten all about that."

"You don't make a very convincing liar, John Connor."

He sighed. "I know. Lack of practice. I'll get better."

"So what did you mean?"

Another sigh. "It's hard to explain, Cameron, mostly because I don't understand all about it, myself. But…I feel like something's coming. Something neither mom nor Derek would ever understand." He turned to her. "Cameron. I've told you I love you, and I do. I'll need you to stand by me, in the days to come."

"You know I will, John Connor. I am programmed to protect and preserve your-*"

"I mean more than that. I don't know if you can return my love, Cameron, but I believe you can. Whether or not you will, though," he said, lying back down, "is up to you."

She lay beside him, their hips touching, fingers entwined. "John, I don't understand what you are saying. Do you want me to love you? If so, you should say so."

A shake of the head. "I'm not about to order you to love me, Cameron. That wouldn't be real, it wouldn't be genuine, and it would be an insult to you and to me. I would like you to love me, but only if you choose to. And," he hesitated, "you may not. I'll just have to be good with that." Now he lifted his hand, the one holding hers, and placed his other hand over them both. "But I do need you to stand by me, to stand with me, to support me, emotionally. 'Cause I have a hunch…that things are about to get worse. A whole lot worse."

They were both silent for a long, long time after that, both of them digesting, or processing, the preceding conversation in their own way.

Cameron: He's not telling me the whole truth. There is something he is keeping from me. Logically, it must be something of a life-threatening nature, and something that he feels I would not let him do, were I to know of it.

That only means I must be vigilant.

John: How can I tell her the truth? It's too unbelievable, and she'd never go for it. If she ever got any inkling as to what I need to do, what I have to do, she'd knock me out and stuff me in a closet or something. Maybe I'm catastrophizing, but….

…but I don't think so.

In any case, I guess I really need to keep her at an arm's length. Yeah, I'd love her to love me of her own free will…but maybe it's better if she doesn't.

That way, perhaps it won't hurt so much when-*

"John?" Sarah had come to the door and surprised the pair, lying there on his bed. "John? What's going on?" Her eyes narrowed as she took in the tableau. "What are you two doing?" Hm. At least they're both fully clothed. Still….

"We're just talking, mom." He released Cameron's hand, and folded his arms back up under his head. "But I guess I'd better get some sleep. And, I guess Cameron needs to recharge."

"Yes, well…you know the house rules, John." Sarah had long since established one primary rule: no sex under this roof. She'd formulated that with girls like Riley in mind, but…

"I know, mom." He turned to Cameron. "Well, guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow." His voice dropped to a whisper, one he hoped his mother couldn't pick up on. "And don't forget about what we talked about."

"I won't." She got up, and then, to the astonishment of them both, leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. A simply platonic kiss…. "Good night, John."

Outside in the hallway: Sarah turned to Cameron as they were walking back to the latter's room. "Cameron? Just, uh, what exactly were you and John talking about?"

"He was trying to explain the different flavors of ice cream to me. Of course, I could not really understand them, as my organic processors are unable to differentiate between the different flavors."

"Ah. I…see."

To be continued…