Title: Legally Blond

Pairings: Eventual Puppyshipping, past Snareshipping. Sideships: Persevereshipping, Ardentshipping, Puzzleshipping

Rating: T

Words (Chapter 17): 2,725

Author's Notes: WARNING: This chapter contains a slur (that f word used to insult gay men). So I'm sorry but there's the warning! It's about halfway through the third page, if that helps at all. This chapter finally introduces Valon and Alister because they're like, never in Puppyshipping fics and I think they should be.

Joey's POV:

The ride to find Valon was a quiet one, and it took longer than I'd thought it would. I reread the bits of information on him at least twice, and daydreamed for a bit while staring out the window. The only noise was the occasional direction from the navigation system telling Kaiba where to turn.

"Your brothers seem nice." I couldn't stand silence. No silence was comfortable for me. I always ended up being the one to break it.

"They're good kids." Then there was Kaiba, who seemed to prefer if I didn't talk at all. He could make a simple sentence of three words sound suspiciously like, 'Shut up, Wheeler.'

"Are you gay?"

If Kaiba wasn't always so self-composed, I think he might have stopped short at my brass question. Instead, all I got was a narrowed side-eye.

"What business is that of yours?"

I shrugged, trying to play like I wasn't curious, despite asking. "I don't know. Your brothers seemed to be implying something back there."

"My brothers are nosy little shits."

"You just said they were good kids."

"They can be both."

"You didn't answer the question."

"It's none of your business."

"I think when your brothers are somehow under the impression that I've been getting under you, it is my business," I muttered.

"If you really want to discuss private lives, I could easily be asking if you working with your ex and his fiancée is a conflict of interest."

I shut my mouth like that, looking back out the window. "Caught on to that, have you?" I asked quietly.

There was a pause before, "Doesn't really take a genius, given how you two act."

Flashes from the night of the party and before at the office entered my mind and I balled my fist, grimacing. Téa really did deserve better but I hated not being able to tell her that. I opened the file again, not even reading anything, just staring at the words.

He still didn't answer my question, but I really didn't want to go into any detail about my life, and I knew spitting out any information about my ex that night of the party would come back and bite me in the ass.

"We're here." I looked up and raised my eyebrows. We seemed to be in a parking lot on a beach, a row of houses lining the shore. I didn't need to read the numbers to figure which one was Valon's, his yellow motorcycle was parked in the driveway. We walked up the block to it. "Could he be any tackier?"

"You don't like motorcycles, Kaiba?" I asked. "Probably because you can't drive one." I snorted as we walked up to the door.

"Actually, I can," he answered, knocking on the door.

"Heh? Really?" I asked. He didn't seem like the type. Fast sports car, maybe, but not a motorcycle.

Before he could answer again (if he was even planning to), the door opened up and Valon answered. "Can I help ya?"

"Seto Kaiba, Joey Wheeler," Kaiba answered, pointing to each of us. "We're here to talk about your involvement with the Magnum family."

"Ah, well, I'm not talking the press. Sorry." Valon smiled and moved to close the door, but Kaiba stopped it with his foot.

"Then it's a good thing we don't work for the press."

Valon looked him up and down. "Pegasus, eh?" When Kaiba nodded, he rolled his eyes and opened the door. "That's one insistent fellow."

"Yeah, he is, and you're insistent on staying off his radar. Wonder why," I responded as we walked into the apartment.

"Because I already gave my statements to cops, lawyers, and everyone else who needed to know. No need to have his goons show up at my place of residence."

"We're not goons, we're lawyers," I said.

He looked me up and down and scoffed. "Yeah, and I'm a prince."

I narrowed my eyes but before I could say anything, Kaiba spoke up. "If you'd answered any of our other attempts to contact you, we wouldn't be here."

Valon seemed to consider this. "Sit down then. Might as well get this over with." He sat across from Kaiba at the kitchen table, who was beginning to go over his story with him. I took a look around the apartment, noticing two closed doors and living room. It looked like he lived alone, and very minimally. There weren't even any pictures up in the living room.

I looked at the counter, quietly moving behind Valon to look at some of the papers and the one framed picture. It was him and another guy, they seemed to be embracing and leaning against another motorcycle, a reddish orange one. I shuffled through the papers, reading the names on the mail.

"Who's Alister?" I asked, interrupting the conversation between the two brunets.

"My roommate," Valon answered.

"Ah. You know, I've got a roommate at home." I picked up the picture, holding it up for Kaiba to see. He raised his eyebrows but I got the feeling he knew where I was going with it. "We're not this close."

"Put that down. I let you in as a courtesy." Valon stood up and snatched the picture from me, putting it face down.

"You know, something tells me you're lying. Plus, I know Mai, and I know you've never slept with her in your life."

"Yeah, why's that, Wheeler?"

"You're not her type."

"Because I'm not rich? Sometimes girls need more than money, you know."

I made a face. "Nah, I knew her way before she even knew any rich guys. But she's always gone for guys that are…" I looked him up and down. "More manly."

A fire lit in his eyes. "You want to take this outside and see who's manly, you little –"

"Alright, enough." Kaiba stepped between us, putting his hand on my shoulder. I wouldn't have even cared if he hadn't, I was squared up for a fight. "I think we have what we need. Just know, Valon, if you lie on that stand, we will destroy you. See you in court. We'll see ourselves out."

He began to leave and I reluctantly followed suit. When we got to the door, I turned to Valon, who was still fuming but following us to make sure we really left. "Give your best to your boyfriend from us," I said with a wink.

"I ain't no fag!"

When we were out the door, I winced at the slur before following Kaiba down the stairs. "Why didn't you just let me punch that asshole's face in?"

"Because did it ever occur to you that doing that could be called witness tampering?"

I bit my lip. To be honest, it hadn't. "Okay, fine. Thanks for stopping me then. But we got something. He couldn't be sleeping with Mai. He's gay!" Kaiba opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off. "Listen. There was only one bedroom in that apartment, and he seemed way too homophobic to be a straight guy casually sharing a room with another guy and getting that close in pictures. He's an in the closet, self-hating homosexual."

"If your gaydar is so great, why'd you need to ask me?"

I opened my mouth and shut it again. "I didn't want to assume."

"But you're fine doing it with our case? Maybe he does have a partner. If he's as self-hating as you think, fucking a beautiful woman could be just the thing to make him seem straight. Or he's into both and not into being faithful. Ever think of that?"

I knew if I said I hadn't, I'd get his smug look, so I kept quiet. A motorcycle came down the block and turned into the driveway, so I grabbed Kaiba's arm and pulled him out of the way. I noticed when it stopped it was the same one from the picture.

I was expecting the guy to be suspicious of the two men lurking outside his house, but the look he gave Kaiba when he took off his helmet was of pure hatred. The brunet beside me gave a snort. "Should have figured."

"What the fuck are you doing outside my house, Kaiba?"

"You two know each other?"

"Just questioning your uh, what was it he called him, Wheeler?"

"Eh, I believe it was roommate?"

"Right. That." Kaiba smirked at the grit teeth look that Alister gave him before walking off.

I awkwardly stood behind. "I…look, we know he's lying about sleeping with Mai, and –"

"Valon's not lying about anything."

"Yeah? So, you're sticking around even though you've been cheated on with his boss?"

I knew I struck a nerve. "Listen here, I –"

I shook my head. "Look, I don't know what's going on here, but I have a pretty good idea. It's blatant that you two are a thing, so either your boyfriend is so far in the closet that he's been fucking around or he's lying for some reason to get Mai Valentine put in jail, possibly because he killed her husband or because he's protecting whoever did. As someone who's dealt with the former, let me tell you, sticking by him isn't going to make him want to be out and proud with you. You deserve better."

Alister looked at his feet before looking back at me. "You don't know what you're talking about. Valon didn't hurt anyone or lie, and I think before you try lecturing me on who I keep company with, you should evaluate the jerk you're following around like a lost puppy."

I tried not to react, but the puppy thing made me ball my fists. I went to respond but then I heard Kaiba call from the corner. "Wheeler. Let's go."

Alister raised his eyebrows. "You really wanna lecture me on stand by your man and deserving better?"

"We're not…why does everyone think…" I shook my head, throwing my hands up in defeat as I walked over to where Kaiba was waiting impatiently.

"What was that about? It's getting dark."

"I wanted to see if I could get him to flip on Valon."

"How were you planning on doing that?"

"I don't know, talking to him? Relating to him?" I stopped. "What did you do to him? He hates you."

"That's none of your business."

"If he didn't hate you, maybe he could turn on Valon, testify that he isn't sleeping with Mai, and never did."

"None of this would even matter if you just told the damn alibi."

"I'm not betraying her confidence like that. How does going behind your client's back and lying to her face make a good lawyer?"

"A good lawyer would get her cleared of all charges, Wheeler!"

"You don't even get it, probably because you've never had a friend in your whole life. You're such a, such a…" I racked my mind for the right insult. "Such a butthead!"

Okay, so maybe it wasn't my most mature or clever insult, but it seemed to sum up the situation perfectly. On top of that, the butthead in question seemed stunned, so I turned on my heel and walked towards the car.

This would have been a perfect exit, though nothing could top me pouring wine on Duke, except I forgot one little thing. This car was actually Kaiba's. Therefore, I couldn't get back to Tokyo, couldn't even get into the car, until he decided it was time.

When he came back to the car, he was quiet. He unlocked it and didn't make any of the insults or jokes at my expense I was expecting, and he waited for me to get in and buckle my seatbelt before he started the car.

He pulled out of the lot, turning onto the road. He was still silent and I was frankly, still pissed. I had my arms crossed and I stared out the window for the first few minutes of the ride.

"Did you really just call me a butthead back there?"

I wasn't expecting that to be the first thing he said on this subject. He sounded incredulous about it, not angry or condescending even.

"Yes. Yes, I did." I shifted only slightly so I could see him out of the corner of my eye.

"No one's called me a butthead since I was eleven," he said. I couldn't gauge how he felt in his tone.

I scoffed. "Maybe not to your face," I mumbled back. I would later convince myself I imagined it, but I thought I may have seen a small smile on his lips at that.

We were silent after that, and I broke the rules of the car by touching the radio dial. I found a classic rock station and put the volume on where it wasn't too loud. He hadn't yelled at me yet over it, I didn't want to push it. Even if he was still on my bad side.

A few songs played before he spoke up again. I hadn't been expecting him to say anything, just figured we'd ignore each other and then when we got to the office he'd chew me out in front of everyone. I certainly hadn't been expecting what came out of his mouth when it did open again.

"So, where does butthead fall on the jerk-ometer?" he asked. I turned to him in confusion, raising an eyebrow. "Is it below douchecanoe or is it somehow higher?"

It didn't even register until I was laughing that Kaiba had just made a joke. A funny joke, nonetheless, and I was pretty sure he'd just alleviated the tension in the car. I looked over at him and holy hell, he was actually smiling. No doubt about it this time.

"I don't know, but it's better than being a cuntbucket, if that helps." I laughed again and I could swear the smile widened, remembering the insult I'd hurled at Duke. It took me a moment to calm down, but once I did, my eyes were wide as saucers. "I can't believe it. You just made a joke. You might actually be human after all."

He shook his head. "You're an idiot." But his usual venom wasn't in it, and hints of a smile were still there.

We didn't talk for the rest of the car ride, either, but it was a much more comfortable silence. My smile took longer than his to fade (his did as he had to swerve around a very slow Toyota in front of him, cursing about bad drivers) and I nearly forgot that he'd been a, as I had so eloquently put it, a butthead.

When we finally got back to campus, it was way too late to update the rest of the team, so he agreed to just drop me off at the dorms first. When he did, he pulled right up front to the door that I needed to enter, waving at a campus security car parked across the street. I was about to thank him for getting this close when he shocked me once again that evening.

"You're right, by the way."

That's it. Hell froze over. "A joke and you telling me I'm right in one car ride? Are you feeling alright, Kaiba?" He rolled his eyes and didn't say anything. "Right about what?"

"Not giving up the alibi. The client's trust is a major part of the relationship you should have with them. You care more about Mai than Pegasus does. If you can keep that up with clients you don't know as personally as her, caring more about the client than just the case, that could be what sets you apart as a lawyer."

It took me a moment to process his words but when I did, I couldn't help but smile. "Wow, Kaiba. You really do have a heart."

He rolled his eyes again, pressing the button to unlock the doors. "Get out."

I laughed, undoing my seatbelt and getting ready to get out of the car. I stopped with the door open and winked at him. "Don't worry, secret's safe with me." And with that, I was gone. I didn't even stop to see the car pull away (though I thought maybe I hadn't heard it leave until after I was in the dorm building.)

Author's Notes: The last part of this chapter (from the "butthead" insult on to the end) was actually written like, two months ago, with only one tweak since then. I knew the "No one's called me a butthead since the third grade" "Maybe not to your face" exchange between Elle and Emmett was going to make an appearance, so I wrote it out. I like writing the little hints of Puppyshipping, it's my favorite part of this fic. As I guess it should be, because that's the point of writing it. Anyway. I hope you guys liked it!