"Barry Allen! I have no idea what's going through your mind right now, but I can definitely tell what's going on in that Sebastian character's head, and the answer is no! No, no, absolutely not!"
It took a lot of convincing and sweet talking on Barry's part to get Carson to the deli while Sebastian waited outside for Kurt to arrive. But even after Barry got him to agree to go (Just one drink, Barry! One! I'm not spending longer than thirty minutes around that man! I can't believe I'm even agreeing to do this! If I didn't love you as much as I do …), he argued the entire way, and when they finally got there, Barry wasn't sure that Carson would actually stay.
"We're just here to talk, Carson. That's all." Carson quirks an indignant eyebrow at his boyfriend blatantly insulting his intelligence. "You don't have to agree to do anything you don't want to do. And whatever you decide, I'll follow your lead, I promise." Barry surprises himself by how disappointing saying that feels since he's more than certain that Carson's answer is already no, undoubtedly no, with little chance that that will change. "I just … I want you to keep an open mind."
"An open mind!?" Carson exclaims loudly. Barry notices the background music in the deli lower so everyone else can listen in. "You said that Sebastian bore a striking resemblance to you. A striking resemblance. You didn't say he was your twin! Why didn't you tell me the two of you were identical!?"
"Because I actually didn't know how to tell you, Carson," Barry pleads. "It seemed like it would be an easy conversation to have, but then when you showed up, I didn't know what to say." He still isn't sure how to broach the subject of Kurt. Carson might consider Barry's keeping him a secret unforgivable once he sees the man. "But I thought you would be offended if …"
"Did you run his name through the NYPD database like I recommended?" Carson presses like the concerned boyfriend and excitable journalist that Barry knows and loves. "Did you find out if he had any priors? Any warrants? Did you Google him? Do you know anything about him!?"
"Yes, I do," Barry says, hoping that Carson will run out of breath long enough for him to answer just one of his questions. But Barry knows Carson. If anyone in the world can hold a one-sided conversation/argument for hours on end, it's him. "I promise I do. I know where he lives, where he went to high school and college, what he does for a living (which Barry hadn't wanted to let slip to Sebastian during their introductions - he didn't want the man to know Barry had checked up on him), what his family does, all of his professional and personal affiliations, all verified by reliable sources (he adds quickly before Carson can question the validity of his information), and from what I can tell without getting a blood and urine sample, he's clean."
Barry did the same digging into Kurt's life, and the things Barry unearthed captivated him – fashion designer, dancer, singer, actor, working at Vogue. Barry found it interesting that Kurt and Carson should have journalism in some form in common. But whereas Barry and Carson have such similar interests that even their jobs can be seen as working in concert, Kurt and Sebastian are so diametrically opposed, theoretically they should hate each other.
The puzzle of Kurt and Sebastian, polar opposites according to their dossiers, didn't just intrigue Barry as a forensic investigator whose life is spent, in part, learning about people through the minutiae of their lives.
It turned him on.
"Well, then can you tell me again why you want to do this?" Carson asks, his tone taking a turn that Barry rarely ever hears. In fact, he can't remember the last time he heard Carson sound anything close to insecure - not about his writing, not about his job, and especially not when it came down to the two of them. "I mean, am I not enough for you? Is that it? Have you developed some new kinks that you haven't told me about?" Carson sniffles, then becomes so angry, the flip makes Barry's head spin. "Or are you such an incredible narcissist that you had to go out and find someone who looks exactly like you to fill some Freudian hole in your life that I don't fit in to?"
"Carson, no," Barry begs, fighting to plead his case when Carson turns away. "It's not … it's not like that. I never even thought about it until …" Carson shakes his head and Barry stops talking. Whatever Barry's excuse is, he doesn't want to hear it. "Look, there's something else, Carson. Someone else that you haven't met yet."
"And that's Kurt, right? Great!" Carson throws up his hands. "So, it's not just Sebastian. There's a fourth someone in this equation? Does it stop at four? How many people do you expect me to fuck, Barry!?" Three tables full of people snap their heads Carson's way, but their scowls of disapproval don't register. "Well, you can just forget that, Barry! Forget that! And … maybe … maybe you should forget about …" Carson's frown cuts clear to his chin and he bolts from his chair.
"Wait, Carson!" Barry yells, grabbing his boyfriend's arm. "Just … just give me a chance!"
"Why should I?"
"Because … you have to meet this guy! You have to meet him before I try to explain this to you any further."
"And why do I need to do that?" Carson growls, yanking his arm out of Barry's grasp.
"Because then maybe you'll understand." God, Barry hopes he does. He can't screw up his relationship with Carson. Barry has lost so many people in his life. He can't sit and watch Carson become one of them.
Barry would have never considered this at all himself without seeing Kurt. Even the improbability of meeting Sebastian couldn't persuade him to do this. But Kurt was the proverbial straw. He's so different from Carson, he's almost exotic. Barry only saw him the one time, sitting at a table across the patio at the deli Barry had taken to eating lunch at, and, at the time, he was hiding, trying to dissolve into the pavement. But he was gorgeous, glamorous, like he had stepped off the pages of a fashion magazine. He had a singsong quality to his voice that Barry caught for a moment when Sebastian spoke to him over the phone. It sounded ethereal, soft and soothing … and effortlessly sensual.
When Carson talked, he zeroed straight in on the point with no beating around the bush and no nonsense. He didn't flatter, he didn't flirt, he didn't try to impress. He only spoke in two tones – the one he used when he was looking for answers, and the one he used with Barry in private, but they honestly didn't differ all that much. When Carson was working an angle, he had the confidence of a man who could shake down mobsters for their lunch money, and that's part of what Barry loves about him.
Carson is no damsel in distress. He can hold his own with the best of them, and that's important if he's going to date someone like Barry.
Being with Kurt and Sebastian would be an experience Barry would only want to have once.
Carson is the experience that Barry wants for a lifetime.
"Look, you're the one who likes to track down the unusual, right?" Barry asks, hoping to appeal to the journalist in him. "Isn't that how you found me?"
"Threesomes aren't that unusual, Barry! Even foursomes aren't unusual! Is this what being in New York has done to you? Is this what it's turned you into, Barry? Some kind of sex fanatic? And by the way …" Carson's voice drops to a whisper "… did you tell them about …?"
"No," Barry says. "No, I didn't. And I wouldn't. That's part of the point. You know me, Carson. You know everything about me, all of my secrets. We've been together through everything. I would never trade that, not for anything, or anybody, in this world."
"I wish that wasn't so difficult for me to believe right now." Carson sighs. "This isn't you, Barry. This isn't like you. Why would you even entertain …?"
Past the blockade of Carson's body, Barry spots Sebastian walking into the deli with Kurt on his arm. Barry wonders if Sebastian clued Kurt in at all to the existence of Carson on his way over, or the fact that Carson could be Kurt's twin. If so, Kurt's taking it a lot better than Carson is. He looks downright thrilled to be meeting Barry's boyfriend.
In a last ditch effort to get things back on track, Barry lunges up from his chair, grabs Carson's jaw, and turns his face towards the door.
"Let go of me, Barry!" Carson says, smacking Barry's hand away. "I've made up my mind! I don't want to have anything to do with …" Carson spots the couple walking in. At the same time, Kurt turns their way and sees them both. His eyes open wide, his jaw drops, and Carson stops talking. He takes a quick breath in, and Barry knows he's done it. He's piqued Carson's interest enough to make him stop fighting.
He hopes it's enough to convince Carson to forgive him.
Carson might not be altogether down for what Sebastian has been suggesting to Barry, but the journalist in him won't be able to resist investigating a little further. "Holy mother of … shit!"
"Well?" Barry says with a smile that Carson would describe as smug if it wasn't so shy; if Barry wasn't Barry, who's not normally prone to things like sarcasm or pride the way Sebastian seems to be. Barry isn't wrong. Seeing Sebastian is fascinating. It's like meeting another Barry, one from an alternate Earth. But this … what Carson is looking at right now is something altogether extraordinary. He can't believe his eyes, not that that's ever stopped him before. This is the kind of phenomena Carson hunts for. He'd heard about people finding their identical twin strangers, but aside from a few YouTube videos, he had never known anyone in real life who had found theirs before Barry.
He never dreamed for one minute that he'd find one of his own.
Carson smiles back at Barry, intrigued beyond the scope of comprehension by this new development, and retakes his seat.
"Barry Allen" – Carson slips his hand under the table to squeeze Barry's knee, crawling it a few inches further up as Sebastian and Kurt approach - "you have my attention."
"So, you were actually there in Milan when that riot took place?" Kurt asks, taking a slow sip of his drink. Somehow, as the afternoon has gone on, he's been able to push aside his uneasiness at talking to a man who's an exact likeness of himself. Kurt does it by trying to see all the things about Carson that he himself is not - the slightly darker complexion, more freckles on his nose, his glasses, the way he brushes his bangs down over his forehead, the tight line set of his mouth that makes his jaw seem more square.
Yup. They don't look exactly alike. Sebastian and Barry look way more alike than he and Carson.
Also, a fair amount of alcohol has done a lot to help fortify his delusions.
"Oh, yeah," Carson says, puffing up with pride. He loves this, captivating someone other than Barry with his adventures in the pursuit of exposing injustice, upholding the First Amendment, and supporting the Freedom of Information Act. "I was right in the middle of it all when the first canister of tear gas landed in the square. Oh God!" Carson looks up as the memory hits him, the excitement of this Pulitzer Prize contending moment cutting through the hanging threads of trauma it caused. "I have never felt anything so awful in my life! It burned so bad - my eyes, my skin, my mouth - I couldn't breathe. People in the neighborhood were raiding local fast food joints and markets for milk to pour into our eyes. Now, I'm not a milk drinker, but I think I guzzled about nine gallons of the stuff!" Carson laughs. "At the end of it, when I finally made it to the hospital, I never thought I would smell anything or taste anything again. The gas was so thick, I couldn't see my tablet so I couldn't finish my story, and then, my eyes swelled shut!"
Kurt sits at the edge of his bar stool, hoping that Carson might mention whether or not he got a glimpse of any of the new winter fashion lines while he was there, when he notices Sebastian and Barry off in a corner, talking close together, matching green eyes occasionally flitting in their direction. Kurt sees Barry say something, nervously if the way he strokes the back of his neck is any indication. Sebastian chuckles, then he smirks. He glances their way, catches Kurt's eye, and winks.
"When I get back to the states," Carson continues, "my publisher meets me at the airport, and I look like a train wreck. I mean, he actually tells me that I look like I had my face burned off. And then he yells at me for handing in my copy an hour late!"
Carson seems to find that hilarious. He throws his head back completely when he laughs this time, but Kurt's attention draws away once again when he sees Sebastian pat Barry encouragingly on the shoulder. Barry nods, looking over at them anxiously - looking at Kurt anxiously.
Kurt gets the feeling that something is about to happen, something that Barry might not be completely prepared for … or that Carson is entirely on board with.
Barry and Carson seemed to be in the midst of an intense conversation when he and Sebastian walked in.
From the look of it, Kurt thought that Carson was getting ready to storm out.
Kurt and Sebastian had spoken about it. For days they've talked about the two of them and Barry, fantasized what it might be like to add a third person to their sex life. The discussion they had on the short walk over about including Carson and making that fantasy threesome into a foursome titillated Kurt, but he told Sebastian that everyone would need to agree – everyone. 100%.
And it would have to stay only sex.
Kurt would be devastated if his and Sebastian's dynamic ever changed. Kurt planned on spending his life with Sebastian and only Sebastian. A one-time in the sack with another partner or two is fine, but there isn't room in Kurt's life for anyone else. Sebastian agreed. He said that it wasn't even a question. But Sebastian has wanted a threesome far longer than Kurt has.
Kurt prayed that Sebastian would still feel the same way when this one was over.
Barry breaks from his conversation with Sebastian and the two men walk over with Barry leading the way. Kurt has to admit it's kind of cute the way Barry shyly cards his fingers through his hair, head slightly bowed, so much different in poise and stature from Kurt's own cocky boyfriend. Carson stops talking when he sees them approach, and though his expression of realization is much different from Kurt's, Kurt knows that Carson feels it, too.
Something is about to begin.
"Hey, babe," Carson says, his voice flat when Barry joins them with his sights set on Kurt.
"Hey," Barry says.
"Hey, Barry." Kurt sits up in his seat and sets his drink aside. "What have you and Sebastian been talking about in secret all this ti—?"
But before Kurt can finish, Barry has his arm around Kurt's waist, a hand creeping up his back to his neck, his mouth claiming his.
"Fuck, that's hot," Sebastian says, probably as much to urge Barry on as to express an opinion. But hearing his boyfriend say it looks hot makes Kurt feel hot. It makes Kurt want to wrap his arms and legs around Barry's body and see what else he can do to the man that might make Sebastian moan.
Kurt doesn't hear anything from Carson but a gasp and a heavy gulp. He's almost afraid to peek at him in case there's devastation in his eyes.
"You know, I can … uh … get us a room in that hotel a few doors down, gentlemen," Sebastian says, close to Kurt's ear but loud enough for Barry and Carson to hear. "Feel like moving this party somewhere more private?"
"Yes," Kurt says, answering his boyfriend with Barry's lips kissing his neck. "God, yes, I do. What about you Barry?"
Kurt kisses Sebastian so he doesn't have to see Carson's expression when Barry answers. It's selfish, Kurt knows, but he can't keep himself from doing it. If anything happens to Barry and Carson's relationship because of this, Kurt doesn't know how he'll get over the guilt.
"That's up to Carson," Barry whispers.
Carson's naturally tight-lipped mouth pulls tighter. He hates Barry's non-answer. He hates the evade. He hates that Barry took the responsibility of this, something Carson didn't want to do, and put the decision on his shoulders.
But at least Barry kept his promise. He'll do whatever Carson decides.
And Carson is curious. Maybe that's the part about this that he hates the most. He wants to see what it is about Kurt and Sebastian that has Barry so riled up and bothered.
"Sure," Carson says, grabbing Sebastian's hand. If Kurt gets Barry, it seems only fair. "Far be it for me to ruin everyone else's fun."
"That's what I was hoping to hear," Sebastian jokes, waiting until Kurt takes his other arm before he moves a step. "Say what you will, but lukewarm resignation going into an orgy is hot as fuck."
*** I know what people are going to say, that Carson and Barry should have talked this over more with Kurt and Sebastian before leaping in, but there's more to this story, so...wait and see :)