Harry Potter and the Order of the Chronic
Order of the Chronic
I don't own any of the characters, all JKR, no profit to be made.
"Well just don't stand gawking! What the hell happened to Chaz?" Harry shouted at Ron, Hermione, and Ginny.
"I'm sorry about before Harry, we thought you knew." Hermione said breathlessly.
"That doesn't answer the question!" Harry spat back.
"Didn't you read any of our letters?" Ron asked.
"No. I didn't I didn't get them or whatever. It doesn't matter. Someone start making with answers." Harry said trying to avoid another conversation about why he hadn't read his owl mail.
"Well Professor Dumbledore thinks it was a possession attempt gone bad." Ginny suddenly spoke.
"A what?"
Ginny rolled her eyes. "Dumbledore thinks someone tried to possess Cedric, but didn't do a good job of it and well…" Ginny let her voice trail off.
"Is he dead?"
"No he is at St. Mungo's. That is all we know. The Prophet has been otherwise hush, hush about the situation." Ginny said.
"What do you mean?" Harry said skeptically.
"Harry if you had paid attention to the news you would realize the Prophet is keeping a lot of things quiet. They didn't want to many details released on the story because Dumbledore thinks You-Know-Who is behind it. Cedric was a good friend of yours and who better to possess to gain access to you." Hermione burst out from the side.
"And those stories you gave to Rita Skeeter sure haven't been helping mate. All that rubbish about You-Know-Who not being back and Dumbledore attempting to take over the Ministry and what not." Ron voiced out just after Hermione.
Harry stood frozen slowly shaking his head. "Your all off your rockers. Believing that Old Codger! And Chaz… it can't be! Rotten kids… you work your life out. Work your whole heart out…" Harry said collapsing to the ground running his hands through his messy hair.
Ron, Hermione, and Ginny sat there staring at Harry's unmoving form for several minutes. Harry just laid there, face down hands clenched in his hair.
"You think he is ok?" Ron grunted.
Hermione shot Ron a worried look in response.
Ginny rolled her eyes and went over and grabbed Harry by the shoulders dragging him upright. "It isn't like Cedric's dead or anything Harry. George and Fred have been doing their best to listen in on the Order's meetings and from what they heard, Cedric seems to be stable, just non-responsive."
Harry craned his neck and shot Ginny a glare. "Great so he is a vegetable… you know if I could be a vegetable I'd be a carrot."
"Err… right Harry." Ginny replied in confusion.
"Still this is a very big deal. You just don't understand. Chaz was just so loyal." Harry said snapping his fingers. "Snap of a finger and he was there. Not to mention I got us Halloween costumes already. I was going to be Maverick and he was going to Goose. Now what am I supposed to do? Make Ron Goose?" Harry said with a shake of his head.
"Well I don't know what you are talking about Harry, but if all you're worried about is a costume…" Ginny didn't get to finish before Harry rambled on.
"Then there is the issue of muscle. Without Chaz around I'm going to have to find someone just as loyal who can handle my more physical and unpleasant affairs. Remember that whole incident with Wood! If that happened now I'd get my arse handed to me and that is unacceptable!" Harry said harshly.
"I'm sorry Harry, but aren't you being a bit conceited?" Hermione asked her tone somewhat defiant.
"How dare you Hermione! I plan on going to see Chaz in the hospital and make sure he gets the finest treatment money can buy, but as you can see my issues are more pressing at the moment." Harry said with a sure nod of his head.
Hermione stared at Harry, her mouth agape in disbelief. "You are such an arse! I can't believe you would say that? What is the matter with you Harry? Are you really…" Hermione quieted as Harry raised a waggling finger for quiet as a thought occurred to him.
"Sorry to interrupt your whining Hermione, but a thought has just come to me. If Chaz is incapacitated that means Chang is available." Harry muttered more to himself than the others.
"Harry!" Hermione shrieked her fists clenched, and her face growing red.
"Yeah?" Harry responded in a nonchalant manner.
Hermione didn't respond she just stood there glaring at him before finally tossing her hair and making her way to the window while her body seemed to shiver in rage. After a few moments Ginny joined her as they began to whisper mutinously together.
Harry shrugged as his eyes rested on a confused looking Ron.
"I don't get it mate? Aren't you with Fleur still?" Ron asked.
Harry chuckled. "Ron I believe the French have a term I'd like to use. Menage a trios."
"What's a minage er a twa?" Ron muttered confused.
"Well Ron let me explain." Harry said taking a seat next to Ron and putting an arm around his shoulder. "When a man loves a woman… in this case multiple women he wants to…"
"Hey meetings over." A familiar voice came from the door interrupting Harry.
"And our dear mother said it is time to eat." Another familiar voice sounded.
"Ah, Fred, George long time." Harry said as he got up and greeted the Twins.
"I'm actually George, he's Fred." One of the Twins said with a nod of his head to the other.
Harry familiar with this trick shrugged. "I don't give a fuck. Let's eat I'm so hungry I could eat a horse."
"What's up with them sausages Sirius?"
"Were not eating sausages Harry. I told you that already." Sirius answered back with a sigh as Harry continued to eat Mrs. Weasley's cooking.
"Tonks, I see you look much better than before. Lost the dyke look." Harry said turning his attention to the young more normal looking auror, however he cringed back as Tonks turned to face him with a rather squashed up nose.
"What the hell did you do to yourself?"
"Nothing Harry." Tonks replied as nose morphed back into its original position. "I'm a metamorphmagus."
Harry stared blankly at her for a moment then shrugged in confusion.
"It means I can change my appearance. It is a really rare gift. It is one of the reas…"
"Listen calm down there missy. I didn't ask for your life story." Harry said interrupting her.
Tonks proceeded to give Harry a rather ugly scowl before turning back to Ginny and Hermione apparently giving them a laugh by changing her facial appearance.
"Psshh… want to impress me I know something you can change." Harry grumbled to himself.
"What's up with them sausages Sirius?" Harry called out again.
"I told you. No damn sausages!" Sirius answered back. "Worse than your father."
Harry shook his head in confusion. "It was five minutes till they were ready, ten minutes ago."
Sirius pushed his plate away and rested his head into his arms as he leaned onto the table.
Harry chuckled in glorious victory.
"So Mrs. Weasley excellent cooking once again, but I couldn't help notice you had virtually no help in the kitchen?" Harry muttered giving Mrs. Weasley a sweet boyish look.
"Well I'm glad you enjoyed it Harry dear. As for the cooking I don't need any help, I have it all under control." Mrs. Weasley answered giving Tonks a nervous look.
"Let me guess, they got you cleaning this place all by yourself as well?" Harry asked with a sure nod.
"That isn't true. We have been helping." Ron interjected.
Harry gave Ron a curious look "As I was saying all by yourself…"
"No Ron was telling the truth all the boys as well as Hermione and Ginny have been helping make this house more hospitable for the Order." Mrs. Weasley said in a reassuring voice.
"Mrs. Weasley I know the cleaning capability of these people… and it is pitiful at best. And since a certain non-making sausage fellow refuses to hire a decorator I can offer my services in this matter." Harry replied.
"Well that would be wonderful Harry. Another helping hand is always useful. Tomorrow we plan on tackling the doxies living in the window curtains." Mrs. Weasley said with a motherly glow to her face.
Sirius groaned into the table pitifully.
"Excellent Mrs. Weasley." Harry said before clearing his throat.
"Dobby!"
A moment later a loud crack sounded and there stood the infamous house elf dressed in a small slicked out suit, but still kneeled into a low bow before Harry.
"Yous'd called Harry Potter sir?" Dobby asked.
"Yes I did… nice suit Dobby." Harry said giving the elf a slap of the hand.
"This house is in disarray. I need it spotless within a week and for that I'll give you a generous bonus." Harry said.
"Yes sir great Harry Potter." Dobby said in another bow.
"That is all Dobby… you may go now… and take Winky wherever you were going." Harry muttered with a shrug.
"Oh Harry dear you don't have to do that." Mrs. Weasley said in earnest.
"Not a problem Mrs. Weasley. He likes it. Besides I pay him well." Harry said with a nod.
"Winky and Dobby are dating?" Hermione asked from across the table, as though this was important information she should have been told.
"Well I'm assuming being he is all dressed up and what have you." Harry muttered with a roll of his eyes as if this line of conversation was unimportant.
"Anything else Hermione?" Harry asked in a cool manner.
Hermione gave Harry a suspicious look before settling down in her seat once again. It was silent for a moment before Mr. Weasley finally spoke up.
"So Harry. How has your summer been?"
Harry kicked back in his chair. "Been good. Hanging out, doing stuff, the usual."
"So when does Fleur get into London?" Bill Weasley asked taking a seat next to his father as Mrs. Weasley began clearing the table.
Harry narrowed his eyes as he leaned forward in his chair eyeing up the eldest son of the Weasley's. "A couple of days Billy. Not that it really matters to you. Figured I would go see Cedric when I go see her and help her move in… being I'm the boyfriend." Harry finished rather harshly.
Before Bill could reply Mr. Weasley spoke. "Umm… Harry I don't know if anyone told you, but… well." Mr. Weasley rubbed his hands nervously together. "Dumbledore said you were not to leave this house unless accompanied by Order members."
Harry rested his vision on Mr. Weasley then his eyes darted to Sirius who seemed to be straining his focus elsewhere.
"What do you mean not leave without Order members? What am I some sort of prisoner? Listen that old codger can conjure up his stories all he likes, but I'm going to be going out. I've got places to go and people to see." Harry said heatedly as he rose from his sitting position.
"I'm sorry Harry we can't let you. It is for your own protection." Mr. Weasley reaffirmed in a slightly more stern voice.
"Sirius help me out here!" Harry said his voice growing louder.
"Sorry Harry… he talked me into it." Sirius said in a quiet sulking voice. Though brief Sirius leaned his head back and gave Harry a reassuring wink.
Harry maintained his composure before finally letting his shoulder slump. "I can see I'm outmatched here, if anyone needs me I guess I'll be in my room."
As Harry began to leave Bill caught his arm. "Yeah, don't worry Harry, one of us adults can help Fleur move in." Bill said very quietly with a wink.
With that Harry stalked off back upstairs.
"Mate?" Ron asked sticking his head into Harry's darkened room. Before Ron knew it a hand was around his mouth dragging him into the room.
"Stop struggling Ron. It's just me."
"Harry! Why did you grab me?" Ron asked in a rather tense voice.
"So you didn't scream out like a little girl of course." Harry replied as if Ron should know better.
"Well why are you sitting by the door in the dark?" Ron asked.
"Waiting to hear your Mom and Dad go to bed."
"Why?"
Harry rolled his eyes with a sigh.
"So we can go get high. Why else?"
A couple of hours had passed before Harry, Ron, and the Twins made their decent back downstairs into the kitchen.
"Harry? Ron? Fred? Geo… hmph." Tonk's words were muffled as Sirius placed a hand over her mouth before she could ask what they were doing here. He brought a finger to his lips and made a shh motion then nodded his head to the back door that lead to a small backyard area.
Harry led the trio of boys out back, while Sirius and Tonks shared a few harsh whispers. Outback Lupin was already seated along with a dirty pile of rags Harry had noticed at dinner.
"Hey Lupin. Thanks for sticking up for me in there." Harry said giving his former professor a slap on the back.
Lupin chuckled a bit. "Harry Sirius and myself already knew what Dumbledore wanted and we knew there was no point in arguing it."
"So hang me out to dry. Brilliant strategy." Harry muttered unimpressed.
"To little faith in us." Lupin replied.
"Oh, then what is your almighty plan?" Harry asked.
Lupin gave a small shrug. "Just ignore what Dumbledore said."
Harry pondered the thought for a moment. "I like it."
"Hear that!" George said giving Lupin a clap on the shoulder.
"He likes your plan." Fred said slapping Lupin's other shoulder.
"So why does Sirius keep dragging around this bag of rags everywhere?" Harry said jabbing a finger into the bag of dirty rags next to Lupin.
"Ey! Watch it will yah?" The rags replied.
"Holy shit!" Harry said jumping back. "It's alive!"
Lupin chuckled.
"That is Mundungus Fletcher." Sirius said as he shut the door to the kitchen after being followed out by a rather disgruntled looking Tonks.
"Yah, tha right." Mundungus replied.
"Christ, you could be a ninja. No idea you were even a person. All Metal Gear Solid and shit." Harry said starring at Mundungus.
"Ah, Harry Dung is quite an investment." George said with a nod popping up besides Harry.
"He has agreed to help supply us in our triple joint business venture." Fred said popping up on Harry's other side.
"He also is an adequate supplier in other things." Sirius said giving Harry a sly smile.
Harry grinned. "Excellent, pleasure to meet you… Dung is it?"
"Tha is what they call me." Mundungus said extending his hand to shake Harry's.
"So Harry what has your summer really been like?" Sirius said taking a seat on Mundungus's other side as he began packing a bowl as a tight knit circle was formed.
"You know the usual, parties, smoking… more parties, me and Dud were thinking of meeting this guy Carlos from Mexico. Based in the States. Supposedly got some good shit." Harry muttered.
"You gotta be careful getting involved with people you don't know." Sirius said taking a hit from the bowl and then passing it to Harry.
Harry held it for a moment preparing to give the bowl a spark, but eyed Tonks suspiciously. "You cool?"
Tonks stared back at Harry with a look he couldn't quite make out.
"He wants to know if you get high?" Sirius said.
"I know what he meant!" Tonks said heatedly. "I just can't believe he wouldn't trust me! Especially after the way he treated me."
Harry snorted a bit then took a hit from the bowl and passed it along to Ron.
Harry let out a small cough as he blew the smoke from his lungs. "Whew that is some good shit."
"Yea, you need some before you head off to Ogwarts I'm the guy to talk to." Mundungus replied.
"You got it Dung. So Sirius what is this epic plan to keep the Order off me while I, you know go out?" Harry asked.
"I got…" Sirius was cut off as Lupin slapped him in the arm. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Sorry me and Lupin have a connection here in London. He is more than a handful for even a wizard or witch."
Harry nodded "Alright man I trust you."
"So Tonks… that metamorph thing… uhh does that apply everywhere?" Harry asked a sheepish grin plastered on his face.
"Shut it!" Tonks answered back.
A few hours later everyone was well baked.
"You know something this is fabulous." Ron said grabbing Harry by the shoulder in a fit of laughs.
"Damn right little buddy." Harry answered back. "Blazin the chronic with the almighty Order. Were doomed." Harry finished with a laugh, as did the rest of the group.
After the laughs died down Sirius piped up.
"Did you know I once saw a half man, half dolphin in Greece?"
"Why of course."
"We only heard about it."
"Every damn minute."
"Harry smoked."
"Last year."
The Twins said and it was silent for a few moments.
"Well he was damn right." Sirius said to a chorus of laughs.
"Hey Sirius…" Harry choked out between his laughs.
"Yeah?" Sirius asked.
"How long with them sausages?"
End Chapter
Not my best, but seriously it took awhile to figure out where I wanted to go with this thing, being I really didn't have any intention of writing it. Still I think I know where I want to go. So next we got Fleur visit and maybe Cedric visit in one chapter or separate. Somewhere in there the naming of a prefect and then back to Hogwarts and everyone's favorite teacher.
WaylaidWanderer is also another fanfic writer and is going to take up the helm of writing the World War Z/HP crossover I just gave a brief short story on. I am personally looking forward to it.