Harry Potter and the Order of the Chronic
One Hell of a Ride… One Hell of an Arrival
I don't own any of the characters, all JKR, no profit to be made.
"Oh, for heaven's sake Sirius, Dumbledore said no!" Mrs. Weasley shrilled as Sirius appeared in dog form at the entrance hall of Grimmauld place. The hall was filled with various school trunks and owl cages as the students of Hogwarts prepared to head to platform 9 and ¾ under a guard of Order members.
"You know Sirius, you really need to take this matter seriously. Dumbledore is a very serious individual Sirius and to not take his words seriously is no laughing matter Sirius. The seriousness of the situation is so thick in the air that even you must notice it Sirius, seriously." Harry said with a grin as the dog marched back into the house and a few moments later Sirius reappeared in human form.
"Like I haven't heard that one a hundred times before Harry!" Sirius barked at him before changing back into dog form, while Harry snorted.
"Pipe down all of you!" Moody shouted as his eyes skimmed the run down street. "I think it is safe to move."
Harry was by his side in a few moments whipping off his coat to reveal himself dressed in all black.
"Yes the time to go is now, we shall move swiftly and quietly like the ninja." Harry said in a whisper as he pulled a black mask over his face and ran in an awkward zig zag pattern before ducking behind a trashcan and stared about as if he were in a battle zone.
After a few moments of peering out from behind the trashcan Harry leapt out doing a horribly formed cartwheel and landed at a funny angle and immediately grabbed at his back. "Ahh… oh wow, that didn't work at all."
The Weasleys, Hermione, as well as the Order members just stared on as Harry meandered down the street clutching his back cursing at himself.
"Well there goes the idea of trying to look inconspicuous." Tonks muttered to the group.
"Has he lost his mind?" Mrs. Weasley said in a harsh whisper.
"Of course not!" Moody barked. "On his toes! Constant Vigilance!" Moody finished before clunking off after Harry looking rather pleased.
"He's crazy to!" Mrs. Weasley said with a shake of her head.
xxx
The trip for Harry was rather comical as he, Sirius as a dog, and Moody marched ahead of the rest of them. Harry had put back on his coat and after a quick spell from Lupin had the ache in his back removed.
Now Harry was pointing out what he called "shifty" individuals on the street. Though the ones he pointed out were anything, but shifty. Harry could barely contain his laughter as Moody would clunk off and begin interrogating helpless passerby's.
"That one right there Moody." Harry called out waving his finger in the air.
"Has to be a Death Eater, just looking at the way…" Harry didn't even bother finishing as he began chuckling, while watching Moody stormed off in the direction of the old woman he had pointed out.
Sirius let out a raspy barking laugh.
"Dogs can't laugh Sirius." Harry said patting Sirius on the head. "Wait a minute… where the hell is he going?"
Harry watched as Moody passed by the old woman and made to a rather menacing looking man in a tie and vest with a metallic glint in his teeth.
Harry, Sirius, and the rest of the group, who had caught up, watched as Moody exchanged words with the gentleman. The conversation seemed to grow rather intense and then just as Moody reached into his pocket to grab his wand the man grabbed Moody by the head and tossed him to the ground.
"Oh my!" Mrs. Weasley gasped.
Next thing they knew the man was smacking Moody's head with a car door repeatedly. Lupin was racing across the street in a panic as a strange ringing sound echoed about the buildings. Before Lupin could get there the man tossed Moody aside and gave him a swift kick. Then picked up what Harry recognized as a car phone.
"Bonjour?"
After a moment on the phone the man got in his car and sped away leaving a beaten Moody to be picked up by Lupin.
xxx
"Wow, don't see that everyday." Harry muttered as Lupin dragged over the ragged and beaten form of Moody.
"You two will not say another word, am I understood?" Mrs. Weasley said from directly behind Harry and Sirius.
"Mrs. Weasley I was pointing to the old woman. Not the guy. I can't be held responsible for this." Harry said as Mrs. Weasley glared at him and chose seemingly to ignore him as she stalked off. As soon as she was out of earshot Harry leaned down to Sirius.
"As if you could say anything to begin with mutt."
xxx
The old woman that Harry had pointed out was now gone disappearing into a dark alley.
"Impressive Pucey, old woman who would have ever thought." Lucius muttered. "So tell me was it Potter?"
The old woman that stood before him moments ago was now a young man, albeit still wearing old woman's clothes. "Definitely, Potter and Black was with them as well."
"Good. Very good, the Dark Lord with welcome you with open arms for this information." Lucius muttered with a smile, but it faltered quickly as he spotted a blond haired man in aviators wearing a police officer's vest and cap. Lucius gave no warning as he darted off down the alley.
"What are you doing?" Pucey called out.
"Stop! In the name of the Law!" Nicholas shouted and just as Pucey turned he was struck in the head with the officers baton. Pucey's eyes crossed and he collapsed to the ground.
xxx
"So Lucius, where is Pucey?" The elder Crabbe grunted as Lucius popped up next to him after apparating.
"He… He didn't make it." Lucius muttered.
"What do you mean he didn't make it? The Dark Lord won't listen to that bullocks as an excuse!" The elder Goyle rambled.
xxx
"Good. Very good Lucius, this information pleases me." Voldemort said casually as his eyes swept about the room.
"Still I couldn't help notice that one of our newest recruits is missing? If I may ask what has become of him?" Voldemort asked casually, though his eyes danced with menace.
"My Lord…" Lucius said in a groveling tone. "We, we lost Pucey."
Voldemort's eyes widening skeptically "Lost?"
"Lost? Where exactly did you fucking lose him?" Voldemort hissed his temper rising.
"My Lord it wasn't my fault. It was a muggle. He was a…"
"You lost Pucey to a muggle of all things! You worthless scum!" Voldemort said anger filling his voice.
"I'm sorry my Lord!"
"Crucio!"
xxx
Harry reached up scratching his scar. "Sorry what was that Johnson?" Harry asked passing off the joint he had lit up.
Harry was now on the Hogwarts Express, which was zooming across the countryside on its way to Hogwarts. He sat in a compartment with his fellow quidditch teammates because Ron and Hermione had mumbled something about Prefect duties.
"I said. I was named quidditch captain this year." Angelina repeated herself.
"Oh!" Harry said with a look of surprise. "Congratulations then." Harry said with a nod as he kicked off his shoes. Then proceeded to lay his feet in Angelina's lap. "Now if you don't mind the best seeker you have ever seen needs a foot massage." Harry said with a grin.
Angelina glared at Harry for moment "You know Harry I've been ok with this change of yours, but now that I'm captain I want you in tip top shape, understand?" Angelina said and despite herself began massaging Harry's feet.
Harry took a long drag from the joint that had reached him again, savoring the green monster, before passing the joint to Angelina. "No problem, I'm in my prime."
Harry couldn't help, but chortle as he watched Angelina take a hit and pass off the joint. "So… tip top shape you say?" Harry questioned as he nodded to the joint.
"Quidditch doesn't start for weeks. I was only saying when it does…" Her voice trailed off absentmindedly as Harry grinned.
"So Angelina, damn good foot massage by the way, what do you think about me and Fleur?" Harry asked.
"What do you mean what do I think about you and Fleur?" Angelina said her foot massage suddenly stopping.
Harry gave a small shrug. "I'm just saying Fleur may be into exploring a little more of her wild side these days." Harry said in a nonchalant manner as if nothing of interest was happening.
"And?"
"Well, she may be more interested in um… getting in touch with her more feminine lesbian tendencies." Harry muttered somewhat casually.
Angelina eyes became sharp as she tossed Harry's feet from her lap. "Fleur Delacour has lesbian tendencies?" She scoffed.
"Of course she has… she just doesn't know it yet." Harry replied with a jab of his finger and a satisfied grin.
"You know Harry I don't know if anyone has told you, but you are somewhat of a pervert." George muttered plopping down next to Angelina and resting an arm over her shoulder.
Harry ignored the comment completely "Wait a minute I thought Fred was with Angelina?"
"I am Fred."
"No you aren't. You're George. I can tell."
"Damn. How the hell could tell Harry?" George muttered.
"Lucky guess."
"Fuck!" The Twins said in unison.
"So wait if you are with Angelina who is Fred with?" Harry said staring down at the other twin who had his arm wrapped around Katie Bell.
"Bell! I thought you were with Wood, Bell?"
"I was until that whole disaster you created." Katie said with a hint of malice.
"Don't know what you are talking about." Harry replied coolly.
"Harry we know." Lee muttered.
"You know?"
"Of course we know. You don't think after Katie and Ollie broke up that that story would stay secret and by the way no funny business this year or you will deal with the wrath of the Weasleys." Fred muttered and George nodded as a sign of agreement with his brother.
"Wait then who is with Alicia?" Harry asked.
"Me of course." Lee said pulling Alicia close with a giggle as she polished off the joint.
"You know what." Harry said rising to his feet. "You all switch around who you are dating so much… you just need to strip down and just have one giant orgy and be done with it." Harry said with a firm nod as he made his way next to the compartment exit.
It was quiet for a few moments as Harry stared at his quidditch mates.
"I kind of like his idea." George muttered pointing a finger at Harry.
"Pervert!" Angelina said shoving George off her.
George scoffed muttering about how he was only joking.
"Don't be sorry George… she is just jealous that she won't get the chance to sample the goods." Harry said patting himself near his crotch.
xxx
"Not that good! Keep telling yourself that Bell!" Harry yelled at the door after he was shoved from the compartment.
"Potter!" A familiar drawling voice called out.
"Hey Draco. What's going on man?" Harry shouted upon seeing his arch nemesis.
"Nothing much Pothead McPotter." Draco scoffed with a sneer meant to get under Harry's skin.
Harry eyed Draco for a moment his face turning purple. "Draco… Drago… Same name, it's the same guy. You tried to kill Sly! I'm gonna kill you!" Harry said charging at Malfoy. Malfoy's eyes widened a bit in confusion as he fumbled around in his robes trying to pull out his wand, but he was to late as Harry reached.
Harry stopped abruptly in front of Malfoy his outstretched hands only inches from Draco's neck.
"Only joking." Harry said with a grin as he gave Malfoy a light slap on the face. "Good lord, Crabbe, Goyle, you've gotten fat." Harry said regarding Malfoy's thugs.
Crabbe and Goyle looked down at their wide selves before glaring menacingly at Harry. "Now if you will all excuse me." Harry muttered pushing his way through the wide pair delicately. "There we go." Harry finished with a triumphant look as he passed between the two. "I'll just be off."
The trio just stared after Harry a few moments before Malfoy, after regaining his composure made after him. "Move you great lumps." He snarled shoving Crabbe and Goyle apart best he could.
Malfoy trailed after Harry calling him every name in the book. Harry just continued on down the train unaware of Malfoy in the slightest until. "Heard about Diggory Potter! Also heard you were spending a boatload of money trying to make him right in the head again. Pity the Dark Lord didn't kill him, could have saved you a fair bit of gold I expect."
Malfoy grinned wickedly as Harry came to an abrupt halt. "That's right Potter. I said it… now what are you going to do about it." Malfoy said readying himself for a challenge.
Harry backed up a couple of steps and turned abruptly. Malfoy took a step back in preparation as Harry stared at Malfoy almost as if he didn't exist.
"Good point Malfoy. You just reminded me of something I needed to do." Harry said in a casual manner then casually turned to face one of the compartment doors. Seemingly out of nowhere Harry bought his foot down on the door knocking it clean open.
xxx
"Potter… What the hell?"
Harry looked back at the wrecked door he had just kicked in and shrugged "Just trying to make an entrance."
"So you kicked in the door?"
Harry once again shrugged "Seemed like a good idea at the time, but listen I know you." Harry said waving a finger at the older Gryffindor in front of him, whose friends were currently gawking at Harry.
"You're uh, Mcwhopper or something right?" Harry muttered snapping his fingers trying to remember the boy's name.
"It's McLaggen. Cormac McLaggen."
xxx
"Muscle? What are you going on about Potter?" Cormac muttered.
"Look at Potty groveling for friends." Malfoy said with a laugh to Crabbe and Goyle as he made fun of Harry outside the broken compartment door.
"Mick. Can I call you Mick?"
"I'd prefer not."
"Ok then Mick, I'm offering you a chance to be in clique. Hang with the cool kids. What is so hard to understand?" Harry said completely ignoring Malfoy and Cormac's previous protest.
Cormac rubbed his jaw a moment in thought then brought his head closer to Harry in a whisper. "What about girls?"
"As many as you want. I'm Harry fucking Potter. They throw themselves at me!" Harry replied with a whiff of mock arrogance.
"Well I was thinking of one in particular. You're friends with Granger right?"
Malfoy gave a choking laugh as he buckled over.
"Yeah." Harry said his face scrunched up in confusion. "Hermione? Really? She is rather annoying you know?"
"You hear that Crabbe, Goyle? McLaggen wants the filthy little Mudblood." Malfoy said still laughing as his thugs chuckled and chortled.
"Well she looked really good at the Yule Ball last year… just can't get it out of my mind. She isn't with Krum still is she?" Cormac asked seemingly ignoring Malfoy's jabs, but his face was starting to redden a bit.
"Uh…" Harry really had no idea, but he chose to speak wisely. "Hell no. She's single and even if not you are a stud. No way would she resist."
Cormac nodded holding out his hand. Harry shook it "We have an accord."
"Yes now, excuse me for a moment." Cormac replied cracking his knuckles and pulling out his wand.
xxx
Harry let out a low whistle.
"Nice work Mick." Harry said admiring the three unconscious forms of Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle. "I see my choice was not in vain, although you do seem to have a bit of a temper."
Cormac merely shrugged. "Anything else you need Potter?"
"Hold up a sec." Harry answered with a grin as he leaned over Malfoy's unconscious form. He stayed there for a few moments as Cormac tried to lean over Harry's shoulder to see what he was doing.
Harry shot up to admire his handy work. "What do you think Mick?"
Cormac looked down at Malfoy's forehead reading the words now written there out loud. "I love the cock."
"Thought it had a nice ring to it myself." Harry replied with a roguish smile.
"This should be… an interesting year." Cormac said with a shake of his head.
Xxx
"Where do you think Harry is?"
"Knowing him I'd say he is probably getting into trouble." Hermione answered Ron with a grim expression. "I suppose we should go look for him."
"Why?"
"Because were Prefects of course." Hermione replied, but she was saved from searching as the compartment door flung open and there stood Harry a huge smile plastered on his face.
"You guys aren't going to believe what just happened. It was so… so…" Harry paused as he looked about the compartment. He recognized Neville, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny, but had no idea who the funny looking girl sitting nearest to the door was. She had her wand tucked behind her ears, wore radish earrings and a necklace made of butter beer caps. She stared up at Harry, not blinking, causing him to feel slightly disturbed.
"You're Harry Potter, you know." The girl said in a rather singsong dreamy voice.
Harry blinked. His vision traveled to Ron who shrugged, as did Neville. Hermione just stared on a placid look on her face. Ginny on the other hand seemed to be on the brink of breaking into fits.
Harry sat down across from the odd girl running his hands across his jaw studying her curiously. He meant to ask who she was, but…
"Why the fuck are you dressed like that?"
"Harry!" Hermione hissed. Harry ignored her his eyes stuck on the strange girl who didn't bother to answer. She just stared at Harry, not blinking, for a few moments before her eyes rested on a magazine she was reading… upside down.
"Why the hell are you reading that magazine upside down?" Harry asked skeptically jabbing a quavering finger toward the magazine.
"Because that is the way you are supposed to read it." The girl replied after another moment of staring blankly at Harry.
Harry raised his arms in confusion. "You know, you know, why the hell are you here?" Harry asked and the girl just stared at him unblinking and went back to her upside down magazine. Harry just shook his head turning to his mates "Why the hell is she here?"
"She was sitting here before us." Ginny offered.
"So! Why didn't you just kick her the…" Harry didn't finish his question as the compartment door opened.
"Harry?"
"Oh hey! What is going on Chang?"
xxx
Harry was walking along the train's hallway with Cho Chang after he left his compartment abruptly.
"So Cho, I was meaning to talk to you about something. You know how Chaz kind of…"
"Harry don't you miss how we used to walk like this?" Cho said interrupting Harry and grasping his hand in hers.
"Uh, what?" Harry said confusion running through him, but he shook it off. "I was saying um, that you know now that Chaz is out of the way me and Fleur were wondering if…"
"Do you remember how we would walk around the lake like this Harry?" Cho said her voice lofty and filled with emotion.
"What the fuck?" Harry muttered to himself in a whisper.
"Oh here is our compartment. Shall we go in Harry?" Cho said in a rather excited voice.
Harry stared at her completely perplexed. "Uh, my compartment was back there." Harry answered motioning down the hall.
"No. No it wasn't Harry. Stop being silly. You always sit with me, Marietta, and Zach on our way to Hogwarts."
"Who?"
Cho grinned at him with a soft giggle. "Stop being silly!" Cho said giving Harry a light slap before pushing open the compartment door.
"Potter! What is he doing here?" A boy who Harry assumed must be Zach shouted in a slightly nervous tone.
"Uh… yeah, apparently I ride with you to Hogwarts." Harry responded back as his eyes shifting around the compartment in confusion.
Cho took a seat next to the girl he assumed was Marietta. "I told you I would find him. He was of course getting into trouble with that crazy Looney Luna Lovegood."
"Oh no." Marietta said. "You said you were going to the bathroom."
"No I didn't."
"What the hell is going on here? Chang what the fuck are you talking about? I've never rode to Hogwarts with you?" Harry suddenly shouted.
"You aren't going to hurt me Potter are you?" The boy Harry assumed was named Zach said.
"I don't even know who the hell you are!" Harry responded back.
"Harry, stop it! You are embarrassing us!" Cho scolded in a hiss.
Marietta got up slowly giving Cho a smile, she motioned to Zach, who got up and sat down by Cho seemingly restraining her. As soon as she and Harry were outside, despite shouts of protest from Cho her face turned stern.
"Listen, Cho hasn't been… well... right. She is having issues after the whole ordeal with Cedric. And you, you great prat sent him away and now she is even more hysterical and somehow she got it in her head that she was dating you and not Cedric."
Harry just stared at the girl before his mouth agape. After a brief time he closed his mouth and then spoke. "So you are saying she's lost her marbles… great just fucking great." Harry mumbled.
"You know this isn't how it was supposed to happen!" Harry suddenly said heatedly. "I was supposed to seduce her and be all slick and smooth. Then bam! Threesome with me Cho and Fluer, but no now the crazy bird had to go insane!"
Marietta glared at him "How can you be so insensitive? You know something Potter?"
"What?" Harry snarled.
"You are worthless!" Marietta hissed bringing an arm up preparing to slap the living daylights out of Harry, but just before she could make contact another arm grabbed hers.
Harry nodded with smug smirk on his face. "Good work Mick. I trust you sensed that I needed your aid?"
"Actually the shouting could be heard up and down the train." Cormac replied.
"Shut up Mick."
xxx
"So what did Chang want mate?" Ron asked when Harry casually tossed open the door of the compartment and strolled in.
"Oh, uh… no idea, apparently she has gone completely insane." Harry said as if it were an everyday occurrence.
"What do you mean comple… oh?" Hermione began to say, before the buff and burly Cormac McLaggen followed Harry in.
"Have a seat Mick." Harry said motioning over near Hermione. "This is Mick guys, good friend of mine."
"Harry. I've been friends with you since first year and I don't remember you ever being friends with him?" Hermione said in question as Cormac took a seat down next to her. He immediately began speaking to her allowing Harry to ignore Hermione's question.
Harry pulled out a joint preparing to spark it up before having to change into his robes, but he once again couldn't help, but stare at the strange girl sitting across from him. The girl stared back, once again not blinking.
"Wrackspurt got you?" Luna asked Harry.
"What the fuck is a Wrackspurt you nutter?" Harry said losing himself and suddenly reaching over knocking the magazine from Luna's hands. "Seriously what the hell is wrong with you?"
All eyes were on Harry as he ranted for a few moments. "I just don't understand what is… is…" Harry's voice trailed off as he cocked his head sideways staring at the article before him. He quickly swiped up the magazine and read it.
Everyone figuring Harry's spat was over seemed to relax, but Harry soon rose up tossing the magazine back into Luna's lap. He had his phone whipped out in a flash.
"Answer you worthless git!" Harry suddenly said the phone pressed to his ear.
"Sirius!" Harry exclaimed.
"What do you mean no?… Kreacher?… I don't care how proper of an elf you are now! Put on Sirius!" Harry shouted.
Harry paced about the cramped compartment for a few moments, while the others looked at him like he was a complete nutter.
"Sirius finally! Or should I call you Stubby Boardman?" Harry said menacingly.
Harry listened for a few moments. "A likely story. I know what you are doing, trying to cover your tracks. That whole story of being there for my parents and being framed! Bah, instead I learn the truth! You were off shagging some floozy named uh…" Harry once again tore away the magazine from Luna who had ignored Harry and just began to read again. "Doris Purkiss."
Harry listened to Sirius for another few moments. "Rubbish you say? They couldn't print it if it wasn't true!" Sirius began to mutter a response, but Harry covered the receiver and turned to Luna. "What's the deal with that magazine anyway?"
"My daddy is the editor of the Quibbler. He makes sure all his stories are authentic." Luna replied giving Harry a quaint stare that made him shiver.
"Oh I got you now Black… or should I call you Boardman. I got the daughter of the editor right here and she says all the stories are one hundred percent authentic!"
"Oh you do, do you?" Harry said after a few moments. "Just remember I got my eye on your Sirius or should I call you Stubby?"
Harry waited for a response, but none came except the sound of a lick then dial tone. "Can you believe that he hung up on me?"
"Harry mate… I highly doubt Sirius is Stubby Boardman." Ron muttered after he came out of his shock at the display that had just occurred.
"Everything in that magazine is rubbish anyway." Hermione added.
"You really know Stubby Boardman?" Luna asked with a cock of her head.
Harry rolled his eyes at all of them before finally putting the joint to his lips and lighting it taking a relaxing hit off the sticky icky. He was about to pass it off when he met Luna's curious gaze. He paused not sure of what to do as the strange girl stared up at him.
"You… You've earned it." Harry said passing Luna the joint.
xxx
Snape stood atop the staircase leering at the oncoming students arriving by carriage from Hogsmeade to Hogwarts. He folded his arms across his chest menacingly giving off a cold expression causing students to quiet when the passed him. Normally he wouldn't bother being here, but with Filch on leave he had no choice, but to make sure things remained orderly when the group of imbeciles returned to Hogwarts, he would hold fast.
Then a disturbing sound invaded Snape's ears. It was distant at first, but it grew louder and louder. It was laughter. Snape gazed across the influx of students his eyes resting of course on Harry Potter.
Potter wasn't alone he had a whole hoard of misfits following him including, what Snape had deduced as a bright student turned into another imbecile by Potter. Luna Lovegood was simply laughing in hysterics for no apparent reason and practically being dragged up to Hogwarts by Ron Weasley.
Harry reached the foot of the stairs when Ron dropped Luna from his grasp, she was still laughing hysterically.
"Blimey what does she find so funny?" Ron asked Harry.
Snape simply gazed down at the group his eyebrows rising a bit in contempt. Then Luna spoke through her hysterical laughter.
"Hey padre. What the hell are you doing Snape waiting for a bus?"
Luna broke down into hysterics once again and Harry had a hard time keeping a straight face as Snape's eyebrows rose up even higher. Snape was about to speak when even louder hysteric shouting reached his ears.
"You can't! We always walk in together! You can't we always go to the opening feast together! Harry!" Cho screamed as she struggled against Zacharias Smith and Marietta.
Snape's gaze wandered to them as they past by, another wonderful young student whose mind was ruined because of the Potter brat. Snape's eyebrows now couldn't be seen as they were up in his greasy hair. He glared down menacingly at Potter.
Once again Snape didn't get to speak as more shouts were heard coming closer.
"Professor! Professor! Potter and that boy right there, McLaggen did this to us!" Malfoy shouted pointing to the battered and bruised faces of himelf, Crabbe, and Goyle.
Snape's eyes focused on Malfoy's forehead and he shook his head with disappointment. "Mr. Malfoy please get into the castle and wash your forehead." Snape hissed finally being able to speak.
"What are you talking about?" Malfoy responded back. "What about my forehead?" Malfoy said desperately trying to stare at his own forehead and after a few moments he gave up and turned to Crabbe and Goyle. "What does it say you great lumps?"
"Never mind that Draco." Snape hissed. "Just get in and wash it off."
After Draco and his cronies wandered in Snape glared down at Harry. "Negative points at the start of the year. I don't believe it has happened to anyone else before."
"First time for everything." Harry answered above Luna's hysteric laughter.
"I would give you detention Potter, but I don't believe that would phase you…"
"He means I wouldn't go." Harry said to his group.
"So instead." Snape said ignoring Harry's comment. "I believe we shall cancel your permission to go to Hogsmeade this year." Snape finished, his lips curling triumphantly.
Harry couldn't be sure what happened next, but a horrible screeching sound was heard and the next thing Harry knew Snape was staggering down the steps past him with what, Harry took as a spider monkey, on his back.
After careful examination and the fact that Zach and Marietta came dashing out of the castle, Harry deduced that it was not a spider monkey, but Cho Chang clinging to Snape's back desperately trying to claw his eyes out screaming hysterically.
"No You can't do that! That is where Harry and I spend our best time together!" Cho shrieked as she clamored onto Snape's back scratching at his face. Student's passed by laughing, others even stopped to watch. Only a few lowly Slytherins stopped to help, but after one boy received a foot to the face from Cho's flailing limbs, they were not to keen to approach.
"That's what you get for favoritism!" Harry shouted.
"Get this crazy bitch off me!" Snape hissed.
"That isn't nice to say about students you know!" Harry shouted.
"Harry mate brilliant, but don't you think we should be heading in." Fred and George both asked seemingly appearing out of nowhere.
Harry looked at Snape struggling as Cho continued to scratch away shrieking. He looked down at Luna who was pointing wildly and laughing hysterically. Harry reached up putting his arms around each of their shoulders.
"Guys… This is going to be a great year."
End Chapter
Hope you all enjoyed. I'm sure some recognized the car door scene if not youtube bullet-tooth tony (Snatch). I've decided to just give where I get some of these ideas. Seriously most can just be viewed there. Oh future reference Darth Vader Mash Up. Won't be using it, but some lines might be there… so I guess might use it, also seriously funny vid.
Oh and Nicholas was here again. May or may not have a part later, why I mentioned him. Speaking of which, forgot to put it in.
"Nicholas very nice collar if I didn't say so earlier."
"Thank you inspector." Nicholas said with a smile.
"I also have some more good news. We found your transfer papers." The inspector replied.
"What?" Nicholas shouted.
"Yes, apparently they were stuck in a book about regulations and code of conduct." The inspector said with a nod.
Nicholas felt like vomiting. Dirty rotten… they swore they got rid of them! Nicholas thought.
"Lucky to have found those transfer papers… I mean seriously when was the last time any of us looked at a code of conduct manual."
Couldn't resist a shot at them. ;)