Harry Potter and the Order of the Chronic

One Spark

I don't own any of the characters, all JKR, no profit to be made.

XxX

"Crabbe, Goyle. Did I ever tell you this story about how dolphins are men evolved?"

"Harry you have told that story about a hundred times mate."

"I wasn't talking to you two!" Harry said motioning to the Weasley twins. "I was talking to these two nimrods in front of me."

"Oh I would love to hear this story! You have told it a hundred times and it gets better every time my love!" Squeaked Cho who seemingly popped up out of nowhere amongst the group of students gathered around a table at the Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade.

Time had passed at Hogwarts and Harry his KGB hit group had made zero progress in catching any real wrong doers being the group spent most of their time partying, getting drunk, and getting high. It took some time, but Harry was soon able to incorporate the Slytherins in the Inquisitorial Squad with his housemates and other houses. Harry felt like quite the diplomat. After all here they all were cooperating and having a jolly good time at the moment visiting Hogsmeade.

It had not all been pleasant though. Hermione and Ron did not warm up to the idea of having their "enemy" so close. They had rarely spoke to him over the last few months. Then again they seemed to vanish more and more often.

Harry didn't ask questions since he had his hands full as it was. Umbridge had noticed the lack of punishment from the Inquisitorial Squad and Harry had no choice, but to send Cormac out to punish people. They weren't really punishing students. They would find students who volunteered for punishment in exchange for some extra pocket change and then they would "make examples of them" for the benefit of all the other students.

Harry's plan had worked like a charm and Umbridge had not been the wiser, but Harry's temper had been flaring lately no matter how much pot he smoked. He assumed it was due to his stress level. Umbridge had been asking for more and more updates about his findings. Apparently the great toad of a woman was catching on to the fact that trouble making was on the rise and punishments weren't working as a deterrent.

"Yeah of course you love it. You're fucking crazy." Harry muttered to Cho with a shake of his head before he redirected his attention back to Crabbe and Goyle and began telling his amazing story of seeing a half man, half dolphin in Greece.

"That is right half man, ha- OW!" Harry exclaimed as he felt something hard poke him in the back of the head. He turned to see Hermione standing behind him poking him with her wand.

"Hermione if you are trying to assassinate me you are doing a bad job. Look at all the witnesses." Harry said motioning to the barroom full of people.

"You know we didn't have a Hogsmeade visit this weekend." Hermione said coolly.

Harry shrugged. "Oops."

Hermione stood still for a moment staring at Harry biting her lower lip. Harry couldn't tell if she was thinking really hard or about to have an emotional outburst. Either way she looked really ragged.

"Hermione are you okay?"

Hermione leaned close to Harry "I need your help Harry."

"Well that is one thing we can do Hermione. The KGB is alway up for the challenge eh comardes!" Harry shouted raising his drink. The group around the table all cheered.

"No mate we just need you to come alone." Ron said.

"Jesus! Ron where the hell did you come from?" Harry said in shock.

"I've been here the whole time."

"Huh..." Harry said gnawing on this tongue. Then just shook his shoulders in a nonchalant manner. "Well lead the way."

"You can't leave me Harry! You wouldn't dare leave me for them! I love you!" Cho said grabbing hold of Harry's arm.

"Ughhh." Harry grunted in disgust. He looked around for a moment before grabbing Ron's arm and pulling him over.

"This is me. Except I just took some polyjuice potion so I don't look like me. Now ravish me!" Harry said to Cho as he pointed at Ron.

"I love you Harry!" Cho said pouncing on Ron locking lips with him much to the delight of his twin brothers.

XxX

"Hermione what is this all about? You seriously aren't leading me out here to kill me are you?" Harry said as he and Hermione trudged through the Forbbiden Forest. Hermione didn't say anything for the longest time and completely ignored Harry. Harry had just begun to whistle a tune when she stopped and collapsed to the ground in uncontrollable sobs.

"Er- Hermione are you okay? Did I do something?"

Hermione rolled over looking up at him with a dangerous look in her eyes before she got up and started striking him over and over.

"You did everything you git! You left us for that horrible woman's group! And then Hagrid came back and we have been helping him and you haven't even been in his class!"

"Wait Hagrid got back? Since when?"

"See you don't even know! You don't even care!" Hermione shouted.

"Of course I don't know! No one bothered to tell me! And in case you didn't notice I have been helping you! Not one person in your terrorist group has ever been caught by the Hutt! I did that and you ju-"

"I know you did that and I hated it!" Hermione shouted interrupting Harry.

"What? Why would you hate it?" Harry began to argue, but the next moment Hermione was pressed up against him, her arms wrapped around him kissing him.

"Because you weren't there." she whispered before they broke apart.

Harry stood there a moment watching Hermione's eyes glisten with tears waiting for his brain to put what had just happened together. Unfortunately Harry's thoughts were abruptly halted as he felt himself being crushed.

XxX

"What the fuck are you?" Harry gagged as he was lifted from the ground by a massive hand which bought him face to face with what he assumed was a giant.

"Gwrap! Gwrap! Stop it! No!" Hermione shouted from the ground waving her arms around frantically.

"Hermy?" The giant said staring from Harry to Hermione.

"What the fuck kind of name is Gwrap?" Harry sputtered out as the Giant squeezed him.

"Gwrapie! Stop it! Stop now!" Hagrid shouted as he entered the clearing of the forest where uprooted trees were laying everywhere.

"Hagger!" Gwrap shouted in delight as he dropped Harry to the forest floor.

"Harry! Are you alright? Please tell me you are alright!" Hermione shouted as she rushed to Harry's side while Hagrid distracted the giant.

"Yup." Harry squeaked out. "Might be a broken rib... or two... slight headache... otherwise I think I'm okay."

"Hagrid we have to get him up to Madam Pomfrey!" Hermione shouted back.

"Stay Gwrap. Stay! I'll be back to check on you later." Hagrid said before running over to Harry and picking him up causing Harry to groan.

"Don' worry Harry we'll get ya fixed up." Hagrid said as they began running towards Hogwarts.

"Sorry missed your class. What the fuck was that thing?"

"It okay Harry don't think bout it. That was me lil brother of course."

"Pfffttt." Harry chuckled out in pain. "Little brother. Fucking huge."

"Harry don't talk to much you could be hurting yourself more. We are almost there. I can see the main entrance... what is going on now?" Hermione said as she ran alongside Hagrid desperately trying to keep up with his long strides.

XxX

"You stop right there!"

"We have to get Harry to the hospital wing now. He has been hurt!" Hermione shouted.

"No doubt by the great lumbering freak!" Umbridge spat back her wand drawn. "Now set him down and back away both of you!"

"Da fuck... goin on?" Harry gurgled.

"We got them Harry." Umbridge said as she made her way to his side. "It took some extra persuasive methods, but I broke one of them. Arrest the giant and the girl!" Umbridge shouted as no less than six Ministry of Magic wizards came out with their wands drawn.

"You can't do this! Dumbledore will stop ya!" Hagrid shouted.

Umbridge showed him a maniacal grin "Your friend Dumbledore has fled for starting an illegal army against the Ministry."

XxX

Harry sprung upright glancing around wildly till he felt a hand grab his arm. Then the hand gave him his glasses and his blurred vision cleared and he could see that he was in the hospital wing. Dammit not again Harry thought. He looked to his side to see a Blaise from the Inquisitorial Squad.

"Uh, is this a bad dream or something? What the fuck happened?"

"No mate, Umbridge ran off Dumbledore and arrested all of your friends for starting up an illegal army. Has them in the dungeons."

"Oh for fuck sakes." Harry groaned.

"You got a joint Blaise?"

Blaise shook his head.

"Fuck my head is killing me." Harry said as he turned to see Neville staring at him wide eyed with a ton of pimple like blotches all over his face.

"Christ Neville you look like hell. You been sleeping good mate?"

Neville just started to whimper and turned over.

"Uh... did I say something?"

"Word around Hogwarts is Umbridge gave him truth serum, but it didn't work. Ended up using the Cruciatus curse on him. Forced him to spill the beans on anti-Umbridge group."

Harry shook his head in disbelief things were going horribly wrong.

"Where is Mick?" Harry questioned.

"Who?"

"Cormac! You know big muscles, kind of an idiot."

"No one has seen him in like two days Harry." Blaise answered with a shake of his head.

"Worthless fucking guy. Never should have bothered with him. Stupid Chaz going missing like a git." Harry said with a deep sigh as he grabbed his side a bit.

"Well we can't just let this shit stand Blaise." Harry said jabbing his mattress as if making a strong point.

"Well what do you want us to do?"

"Comrade. Gather the KGB... shit gather the whole fucking school!" Harry grinned.

"Viva la Revolution"

XxX

End Chapter