Harry Potter and the Order of the Chronic
Hot Soup
I don't own any of the characters, all JKR, no profit to be made.
I highly recommend watching Against the Wall.
XxX
The sounds of whimpering and tears being shed could be heard from some of the younger students and Dolores absolutely loved it. The fear she invoked as she walked about the dungeons going from cell to cell smiling ever so sweetly at the children. She made note of the ones who cried and the ones who stared defiantly at her. The latter of those would be the ones she would have to break as she had done to the Longbottom boy. She had to break them down so they would understand she had absolute power.
"Ahem." Umbridge said stopping in front of a cell smiling sweetly at the inhabitants. She knew the ones here. These were the ones who young Harry was always seen with. They would have to be punished for their disloyalty. She couldn't allow them to betray Harry that way, she wouldn't allow them to steal her Harry she thought.
"We shall start with these two. Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger." Umbridge declared with a bit of hysteria in her voice.
"Are you sure this is legal madam Umbridge?" One of the ministry underlings asked.
"I will make it legal." Umbridge hissed.
XxX
"You can't be serious?"
"What? It is a good plan. Totally wreck her office."
"Listen to yourself. I am talking about a revolution here and all the you come up with Lee is putting a niffler in Umbridge's office." Harry said in disbelief with a shake of his head.
Blaise had spread the word around Hogwarts and a large portion of the student body was now piled into the Room of Requirement, which as luck would have it kept expanding to compensate for the growing number of students.
Many of the students had great ideas for pranks and were delighted by the idea of finally implementing ones they had worked on throughout their years at Hogwarts. Harry on the other hand found all this very frustrating. He didn't need pranksters. He needed fighters. Worse yet, Harry was still tender from being manhandled by Gwarp, his scar was killing him, and he hadn't been high all day.
"Well, what were you expecting us to do?" a Slytherin boy from the Inquisitorial Squad asked.
"Go all John Rambo and shit on them of course!"
"Who is John Rambo?"
"Oh good fucking lord Nope! How do you not know who Rambo is?" Harry said with a depressed sigh.
"Nope what?" The Slytherin asked.
"Isn't that your name? Nope?"
"No my name is Nott."
"Well then what is your name?"
"It is Nott. Not Nope."
"Yeah I know it isn't Nope. You just told me it wasn't, so what is it?"
"Nott!"
"What the fuck is it then?"
"Just call me Theo okay?"
"Finally we get somewhere. How the hell can we take back the school with people who don't even know their own name?"
"Both of you shut the fuck up!" Lee Jordan shouted. "Now Harry you want us to take down the school, but have you looked at this bunch of misfits here? I mean really look."
Harry looked around the room at the students milling about chatting with one another and shrugged.
"Harry you have Slytherins that cower in the shadows, you have Ravenclaws who are way to smart to get involved in anything that could get them expelled or worse, and Puffs God bless them, but they are Puffs. Umbridge took the bulk of the bold and dumb which is of course us Gryffindors. She gutted the meat of the army mate."
Harry hung his head for a moment chewing Lee's words over in his mind. He couldn't help, but feel Lee had a point. His war council consisted of a Slytherin who didn't know his name, Lee, a random Ravenclaw who hadn't said a word this whole time, himself, and Neville who Harry noticed was crying. He wasn't sure why, but he just stared at Neville watching those tears dribble down his hexed face and he snapped.
Harry rose up and slapped Neville across the face. Everyone in Harry's war council quieted. "Is this what you do when you get knocked down Neville? Huh, Longbottom? You go and cry waa waa waa!" Harry slapped Neville again. "You act like a Man!"
"You don't go around asking what am I going to do!" Harry said to his council.
"Lee!" Harry shouted as he rounded on him. "You are one hundred percent correct, but you forget one thing a man can shake his nerves and strike at any moment as long as he has courage!"
"Uhh... Harry okay, but what the hell are you on about?"
Harry smiled.
"All they need is some liquid courage."
Harry looked to Neville. "You ready to fuck some shit up?"
Neville grinned.
XxX
"Harry Potter says you are to stay here and let no one enter madam for he will bring down the blade of justice swift and hard and without remorse. He will be the light in the darkness. He will strike down upon those who attempt to poison and destroy his brothers. He will en-"
"Enough. Enough." Professor McGonagall said as she addressed the house elf. "I understand you have a special affection for Potter, but really this is all to much."
"Dobby is only reciting what Harry Potter told him to say professor."
McGonagall's lips thinned. The other professor's had been planning to bring down Umbridge on their own, but after the last year and a half of Harry's antics she had a feeling she should heed this warning. She rounded on the other professors.
"All of you round up any students you can find and head to the towers of Hogwarts and barricade the entrances. Do not allow anyone to enter unless it is myself or Dumbledore. Dobby what about the other elves?"
"We will be evacuating mam. Harry Potter says Hogwarts is not safe!"
"You plan to take this elf's word? We need to act and stop this brat before he does something reckless. Just like his father never thinking about the consequences." Snape began to rant.
"You Severus" McGonagall said interrupting Snape's tirade. "Will be coming with me."
"To where exactly?" Snape asked his eyes in questioning slits.
"To find Dumbledore before things get out of hand."
XxX
"Leave him alone!" Cho shouted through the bars of her cell as Ron screamed in pain.
Umbridge smiled wickedly back at Cho "Oh don't you worry silly girl. I'm just getting started. You will have your turn as well. You just don't understand. I am in control here. Once you understand that the happier you all will be!" Umbridge finished with a giggle.
She looked at Hermione happily. "Crucio!"
Hermione screamed in pain as Umbridge just smiled at her work. Then a massive rumble sounded through the dungeons that shook the very foundation of Hogwarts.
Umbridge looked around wildly. "What was that?"
The ministry underling shrugged shaking his head not knowing what happened.
"Well go find out!" Umbridge seethed.
She didn't have to wait long before another ministry lackey came around the corner.
"They are using artillery on us!"
Umbridge seethed in anger. Apparently she hadn't caught the last of the riff raff plaguing her school. Some pathetic last ditch effort to stop her from having full control.
"You lock these two back up! The rest of you with me!" Umbridge shrieked at he ministry officials around her.
XxX
The sun was setting on Hogwarts and everything would seem peaceful and quiet if you were watching from a distance, but if you came closer you would see the large mob of students rushing through the halls leaving an absurd amount of empty beer cans and bottles of various liquors in their wake.
"Blow it up! Come on! Come on!" Harry shouted in a drunken haze of glory. Pumping his arms in a wild frenzy.
Lee had jerry rigged some of the twins more potent pyrotechnics and was attaching them around the massive clock that towered above the Hogwarts courtyard.
"Three, two, one..." Nothing.
"What the fuck!" Harry shouted chucking a bottle at the clocks gears and then:
BOOM!
The entire workings of the clock exploded outward and the whole piece came crashing down in the courtyard below. The long wooden bridge just beyond swayed for a moment from the massive vibrations that shook the grounds to the core.
Everyone quieted and then the bridge collapsed in a mass of tangled wood and splinters. Then the students piled around the gaping hole in awe before letting out a massive cheer!
"Fuck yeah!"
"Bring it down!"
"Bring it down!"
The student mob moved through Hogwarts now growing more rowdy and violent. Various fires seemingly broke out as drunken students began casting random spells. Some group began breaking off looting and pillaging classrooms.
Then finally the mob came across their first adversaries. The ministry officials formed ranks wands drawn. "Disperse now or else!"
"Fuck em up!" Harry shouted and charged with Neville at his side.
The ministry officials spells whizzed by, but by the mass of students would not be stopped as they overran Umbridge's ministry underlings.
"Fuck em up! Fuck em up!" Harry shouted kicking one the downed ministry enforcers.
Harry crouched down to another one of the pummeled ministry scoundrels.
"Hot soup motherfucker! Hot soup!"
"Hot soup motherfuckers! Hot soup!" The students began shouting as they continued onward.
The mob continued to overrun and destroy any ministry personnel they came across. They reached Umbridge office cluttered with all her cat memorabilia.
"Give me that Harry." Neville said as Harry handed him a molotov cocktail.
"Hot Soup!" Neville screamed before tossing the firebomb into Umbridge's office. The office exploded in flame as the mob of students cheered.
"Let it burn!"
XxX
"To many of them you got to get out of here! They were everywhere! They were coming out of the walls! Coming out of the Goddamned walls!" The ministry grunt screamed in fright as ran by in a bloody heap.
"Get back here and fight!" Umbridge shrieked as her allies numbers began to thin.
"Use any means necessary! Use killing curses if you have to! Don't stop till you put the mob down!" Umbridge shrieked at the remaining ministry personnel.
"You want us to kill kids!? Are you fucking crazy?"
"Do not question me! Respect my authority!"
The ministry grunt nodded grimly.
"Good now follow me!" Umbridge shrieked as she marched down the hall to put down the mob of students.
"We will find them. Do you hear that? I hear them coming. Ready yourselves." Umbridge said in a hysterical tone as she looked back to make sure her remaining soldiers were ready. To her dismay she was alone. They had fled the minute her back was turned.
"You cowards!" Umbridge shouted.
"Oi! Hutt!"
Umbridge stopped in tracks and there at the front of the mob the blubbering oaf boy Longbottom and ...Harry!
"Harry?! I... I don't understand?" Umbridge said in pleading voice.
"I don't understand half of what I do myself." Harry said defiantly. "Damned Wrackenspurts or whatever they fuck they are called. But I do know that when you hurt my friends you hurt my pride! I got to be a man and I can't let it slide!"
"But... us Harry. You were the chosen one! We were meant to be!"
Harry shook his head in pity before giving Neville a pat on the back and a nod.
Neville raised his hands in the air. In one hand a half empty bottle of vodka and in his other the Sword of Godric Gryffindor.
"Hot soup motherfucker! Hot soup!" Neville shouted before leading the mob forward.
XxX
The mob of student cheered as they watched the broken, beaten, tarred and feathered Dolores Umbridge scramble across the grounds of Hogwarts. Harry looked on before turning to his fellow warriors in arms.
"Hogwarts is ours!"
"Huzzah!"
"Huzzah!"
The students began to break away the battle won. Harry lead a small group down to the dungeons chanting and celebrating their victory.
"Huzzah!" They screamed as they entered the dungeons to the cheers of their captive comrades.
Harry cracked open the cell containing his friends and was immediately slapped in the face.
"What the fuck was that for!" Harry shouted grabbing his face as he glared at Hermione.
"What took you so long? She used the Cruciatus curse on Ron and me! We could have been seriously hurt or killed or worse!"
"Yeah Ron looks so hurt over there." Harry muttered as Cho was straddling Ron as she had him pinned to floor their lips locked.
Hermione wrapped her arms around herself before slowly backing away shaking her head as if struggling with a thought.
"Wait a minute Hermione. You thought I wasn't going to come. Didn't you?" Harry asked incredulously.
"With the way you were acting all year how could I not. You just can't chan-"
Harry kissed her deep and hard catching Hermione completely off guard.
"You know I have a saving people thing." Harry whispered as he broke away.
Hermione blinked then grinned as she lowered her head as if slightly ashamed.
"I know you do. I know you wouldn't do that to us... and I also know that you reek of beer."
"Well naturally, I was drinking beer."
XxX
Cornelius Fudge sat in his office looking over the note that had just arrived by owl unsure of what to make of it. He shrugged figuring he would look into the matter in the morning. After all it was late in the evening and he had had a busy day.
He put on his coat and bowler hat and was about to leave when another owl arrived. He sighed muttering to himself about how overworked he was. He opened the blood stained letter and read the short message and swore as he banged his fist on his desk.
Potter has turned on us. Ministry personnel routed. Hogwarts is lost. - Dolores Umbridge
Fudge picked up his first letter still not understanding it at all. It was from Harry Potter. He could only assume the boy had gone insane. He had heard rumors that the boy was getting out of hand and his demand for pardoning Arthur Weasley had been irrational. Fudge knew now he should have acted much sooner to have the boy checked into St. Mungo's. He read the letter one more time shaking his head.
Hot soup motherfucker! Hot soup! - Harry
XxX
End Chapter