First and foremost I must apologise for my absence. As I said in the beginning of this story it is finished, for the most part, but some of the changes I made in chapter 3 threw things off for future chapters. Between fixing the rest of the story, and my real life, I got behind in my updates. I'm so sorry.

I want to thank MrsMcrief for being an amazing cheerleader and darnedchild for betaing and being a wonderful friend.

I am changing the rating (to be safe) starting now because things heated up a bit in the last chapter and we're still dealing with the aftermath.

I own nothing. Enjoy ~Lil~

Hermione woke the next day feeling better than she had in months. She wasn't gasping in pain or gingerly working her muscles to get them to co-operate after a night of spasms. She felt...good. And it was all thanks to Severus and his new potion. She didn't know if the potion had kept the tremors at bay or if she'd just had a good night, it did happen every so often. They would have to discuss it, hopefully before the next time the potion was needed.

At that thought she paused and remembered the night before. Merlin, nothing in her (admittedly limited) sexual experience had ever felt so good and he hadn't even been trying to turn her on, just ease her pain. Well it worked. It really, really worked. She was so excited by the time he finished that she just barely managed to wait until she heard the shower start up before reaching between her legs to find a pool of moisture waiting for her. Thankfully he'd taken an extremely long shower, for some reason, and she'd been able to come twice before the water shut off and she guiltily pulled her hand away from her core.

What kind of person uses the man who is trying to heal her as fantasy for a wank? The man who'd given up most all of his time and left his home to care for someone to whom he had no obligation whatsoever... Hermione Granger, evidently.

The guilt hadn't lasted though, within minutes she had drifted off to sleep. Her last thoughts were of how amazing his hands felt and how much better they'd feel in other places on her body.

In the cold light of the day, however, the guilt crept back in, making her feel like some kind of desperate hussy. How was she going to face him today? The poor man had given up his day to day life to care of her, and this is how she repaid him? Using his healing ministrations to get herself off. He'd be mortified if he found out and probably disgusted too. He won't, he won't find out, she thought. Then she remembered that he was one of the greatest Legilimens in Britain - most likely the whole world - and her blood ran cold.

She needed to clear her head and forget about how she'd imagined him replacing his hands with his mouth, his tongue… STOP it Hermione! With a shake of her head, she got up and went to her bathroom to perform her morning ablutions.

Hermione was surprised, and a bit relieved, to find Luna Lovegood in her sitting room rather than Severus.

"Good Morning, Hermione. Did you sleep well?" the blonde witch asked.

"Yes, actually, I did," she said, hoping she didn't blush. "Where's Severus?"

Luna stood up and motioned for Hermione to follow her towards the kitchen. "He flooed Harry this morning asking if anyone could sit with you whilst he did some research at Hogwarts. I happened to be there and volunteered. I had planned on visiting Neville's grandmother to alert her to a nest of wrackspurts I saw in her hair the last time Harry and I ran into her in Diagon Alley." She got a curious look on her face then added, "Harry dragged me away before I could tell her about them, for some reason."

Hermione smiled and forced herself not to laugh. When she was younger, Luna made her a bit crazy with her nonsensical gibberish, but over the years Hermione had grown to enjoy it. "I'm sure Harry just wanted to get you alone, Luna," she said with a wink.

The younger witch nodded. "Indeed. He does like to have sex with me. Quite a lot actually."

Hermione stared wide-eyed for several seconds before deciding to move on from that comment. She felt the kettle and decided it was warm enough to make herself a cup of tea. "Did Severus say how long he'd be gone?"

"No," Luna replied. "But Professor McGonagall sent an owl just before you got up saying that would be a while."

"Well, hopefully he's onto something." Hermione set in making herself some breakfast. "You hungry, Luna?" she asked.

"I ate at Harry's."

It had been weeks since Hermione felt well enough to stand and prepare her own meal. She was suddenly sad that Severus wasn't there to enjoy the moment with her. As a matter of fact she'd love to make him something to eat, just to say thanks, if nothing else.

Severus woke up with a start. It took mere seconds to suss out what had happened. Shame won out over anger when he realised that he'd let his former colleague get the drop on him. What kind of Potions Master didn't notice when he was being drugged?

"Minerva!" he shouted.

Seconds later the older witch glided into the room, a far too smug look on her face. "I'd hoped you would sleep at least until dinner."

"You drugged me!" he growled.

"And all it took was a mild sleeping potion, which proves just how tired you were." She turned to leave the room. "Come with me, you interrupted my lunch."

Once in the small dining room, Minerva called a house-elf and ordered Severus a meal.

"I don't have time for this…"

"Of course you do. Hermione is fine. Luna is with her." By then his plates had arrived. "Now eat. We need to discuss some things."

While he did not appreciate being spoken to like a misbehaving first year, he was hungry, so he ate. Begrudgingly. Several minutes went by, with only the sound of cutlery on porcelain, then finally Minerva spoke.

"You're quite invested in Hermione's well-being, aren't you Severus?" she asked before taking a sip of tea.

"As her primary caregiver…"

"Don't give me that caregiver shite, young man," she interrupted. "There's more going on here and you know it. You are fully invested in Hermione's life for other reasons than getting her better." She paused and gave him a look reserved for the worst mischief makers in the school. "Can you admit, to me at least, that you have feelings for the witch?"

He took one last bite of his shepherd's pie, cleaned his mouth, then stood up. "This discussion isn't happening, Minerva. I took on this role to aid in a cure for Miss Granger and to make medical decisions in case she's ever unable to do so. I am not some moon-eyed school boy. And furthermore…"

"Mrs. Snape," Minerva said not looking up from her meal.

"Pardon?"

"She's no longer Miss Granger. And I understand that you call her Hermione."

"Of course I do. What would you have me call her?"

She finally looked up, a smug expression on her face. "I don't care what you call her young man. I just want you to stop lying to yourself."

Hermione was sleeping when Severus arrived home over an hour later. Like a coward, he hadn't Apparated to the quaint Muggle home he'd been sharing with his wife. Instead he made a stop in Godric's Hollow.

This sojourn was not one he typically made. As a matter of fact it was only the third time he had visited his old friend's grave. The first time had been right after her death and the last time was on the eve of the final battle. It had given him strength.

He stood before Lily's grave silently for nearly a quarter of an hour before he spoke. "Everyone thinks they know, Lily. They all think that they've got me figured out." He sighed and looked around the small graveyard. "They're wrong though. I care, I do. But I don't love her." Turning, he paced a few feet away from her grave. "How could I not care? She was my student. I protected her, along with your son and his ginger friend, for years. It's only natural that I want her to survive. I'm not a monster." Walking closer to the marker he added, "But that doesn't mean that I'm in love with the girl… does it?"

Closing his eyes, he tried to picture his friend, his Lily. It wasn't easy, but finally he was able to bring up an image of her sitting under a tree near the Black Lake. With the image, came an unwanted memory.

"She's pretty, Severus," Lily said looking across the lawn at the witch in question.

"Oh, well then shall I go ask her to marry me?" he asked sarcastically. He couldn't for the life of him remember the witch's name.

Lily turned and looked at him. "No, but you could at least try to talk her."

"I'd rather not embarrass myself, thank you very much."

"Look around you, Severus, everyone has someone."

I do have someone. I have you, he thought.

"Listen, why don't you ask her to the Halloween dance?" she said then looked down at the Charms textbook in her lap.

"Are you going?"

She glanced up, a pretty smile on her sweet face and said, "Don't spread it around just yet, but James asked me. I know you and him…"

"You're going to the dance with Potter?" He couldn't believe his ears. His tormenter and his Lily?

"I like him and I think if I asked him to stop bother…"

Severus quickly stood up. "No. You won't ask him to stop." Turning to leave he added, "Enjoy the dance."

That day was the beginning of the end for his friendship with Lily. He couldn't keep his jealousy hidden once she started cavorting with the Marauders and then it came to a head…

With a shake, he pulled out of his miserable memory and steeled himself. "I'm not going through this again. She's half my age, beautiful and intelligent. There is absolutely no way that this ends well," he said out loud to his dead friend's grave. "I'll help her, heal her then leave her. But I'm not risking myself again, Lily. There's barely anything left of me as is."

Miss Lovegood had explained that she and Hermione had enjoyed an uneventful day, but that his wife had insisting on weeding the garden. She'd clearly overdone it and excused herself for a nap. After thanking Luna for her time Severus saw her to the door then attempted to completely clear his mind of any and all foolish notions about his young wife. He then made his way to the master bedroom to check on her.

She was sleeping peacefully. He allowed himself a moment to revel in the knowledge that the potion had worked (since she'd felt good enough to work outside for a while), even if it had pushed him far past his comfort zone. Her comfort was more important.

It took three days for the effects of the potion to start wearing off. When she told him she was starting to feel sore and achy once again, he was obviously disappointed, but seemed to take it in stride. After a particularly nasty episode during which Hermione lost control of her bladder, Severus announced he would be making adjustments to the new potion. He spent fifteen minutes pacing loudly outside the bathroom while she cleaned herself up.

"This is unacceptable," he said, handing her two more phials of medication. Thankfully, even though the attack was extremely painful, it was short-lived. "I must find a way to make it last at least until it can be reapplied."

For nearly a day and a half she barely saw the man. She wasn't sure if he was avoiding her or just pre-occupied with his research and brewing, but things were different and Hermione was determined not to allow their relationship to suffer. She owed Severus more than she could ever repay. The very least she could do was make his living environment as comfortable and as pleasant as possible under the circumstances.

This required a bit of thought.

The next day the couple were in the garden for her obligatory 'hour of fresh air' when Hermione asked her husband, "Do you miss teaching?"

Severus looked across the small space. It was actually quite lovely with its rows of roses and lilacs and enormous hydrangea bushes. All his doing. He also added pear tree because of his wife's fondness for the fruit. Anything to get her to eat. The garden was encased in a sort of magic greenhouse, though it was completely invisible, so that it could bloom year round and of course he'd cast a Muggle Repelling Charm. No need stir up the neighbours.

"Yes, I do. I miss it like I miss snake venom and noseless megalomaniacs," he answered then returned to his reading, assuming that they would move on from the topic of his unfortunate former occupation.

"But you were so good at it," she commented after a good laugh at his joke.

That got his attention. He looked up to find her smiling. How can she still smile? he wondered, not for the first time. "No- no I wasn't, Hermione. You of all people know that."

"Well, you were a complete arsehole at times, yes, but you were a good teacher. I learned so much from you. Slughorn was an idiot. More interested in collecting for his little club than actually imparting knowledge."

"I made Longbottom cry… several times."

She waved her hand. "Neville is a menace with a cauldron. I may have defended him at the time, but I understand the necessity for absolute safety in a potions lab. Neville shouldn't be allowed within a mile of one."

He had gotten up while she spoke and walked closer. "Still, you can't possibly consider that I was actually good at the job."

Looking up, shading her eyes with hand, she said, "But I do. Ensnaring the senses and all… you had me that first day, Severus. I was mesmerised." Her bright smile caused his chest to constrict.

He crouched down until he was eye level. "I made you cry, Hermione. I said…"

She placed a finger over his lips, barely touching him. "Shut-up. My teeth were big and you were mean. We're very different people now." Her finger was suddenly gone. "I learned a lot from you, Professor. Even if you were unkind, we all know why you had to be." She smiled once again then picked up her book. Severus rose and returned to his seat as he absorbed her words. "My only regret is that I couldn't get to know you better. That it took this and you losing your freedom once again to finally get to know the man behind the snark." She giggled, then put her focus back on her book.

That night as Hermione handed him back the phials after taking her nightly potions she said, "I wish I could remember."

It had been a long, difficult day. After they had come in, she had had several strong episodes and Severus had been forced to Bind her to get them under control.

"What is it you're trying to remember, Hermione?" he asked as he smoothed down the duvet.

"The curse. I feel so useless. Me… The Brains. It's sadly ironic." Her voice was strained and tired.

He pulled up a chair and sat next to her bed. "It's not uncommon to be unable to remember being hit with a curse; surely you know this. Besides, I've viewed your memory, it's not there. I don't think anyone would have remembered it. It was too chaotic. Neither Potter or Weasley have a memory of it either." His trips into the minds of her best friends had been both useless and tedious.

"But they're not me. I'm supposed to be able to…" she trailed off, her eyes looking glassy most likely from the effects of the potions but she also seemed to be fighting back tears. "I have an eidetic memory, did you know that?"

He had suspected as much, but hadn't been sure. It made sense though, the way she could recite passages from books with perfect clarity. Her early days in school he had assumed that she was simply overcompensating for coming from a non-magical family. Though he'd called her an insufferable know-it-all, he really did relate to her. A bit too well if he were honest. Perhaps that's why he'd been so harsh. "How old were you when your parents had you tested?" he asked.

She gave him a knowing smile. "I started reading at about four, perhaps a little earlier. My parents were…"

"Dentists. Well educated and well read. I've been through their library."

"Yes, they encouraged me. But when they realised how well I retained information, they were… concerned," she said with a touch of sadness in her eyes.

He wasn't sure if it was the memory of the experience or if she was just missing her parents. But something told him to keep her talking. "They were right, of course. Muggles can experience other difficulties associated with accelerated intelligence. But not you."

She looked shocked.

"You forget that my father was a Muggle and I was raised with very little access to magic. Until Hogwarts, that is," he explained.

"You're right. I did forget. Although you don't talk about your earlier life much, Severus. As a matter of fact you hardly..."

"Perhaps another time," he interrupted, wanting to avoid his unpleasant upbringing. "Please continue."

"Of course." She looked a little disappointed, but continued nevertheless. "They had me tested…"

"And they found out that they had a genius daughter and took her out for ice cream?"

"Actually they enrolled me in a special school. It was expensive, but they said it was worth it, that I wouldn't be challenged enough otherwise." She actually looked embarrassed.

"Did you enjoy it?" he asked, absolutely desperate to learn all that he could about his wife's early life, all the while telling himself to stop- to pull back- but he couldn't. A little conversation couldn't hurt, could it?

"I did. It was very small. Less than a hundred students in the entire school. The teachers doted on us all. We had wonderful outings to museums and art galleries."

"Merlin, Hermione, Hogwarts must have scared the shit out of you," he commented.

"No… it was fascinating," she said with a wistful look in her eyes. "Can you imagine, Severus? I'd always known that I was different- that I could do… things- but to find out that this whole other world existed. I felt complete for the first time. As much as I loved my school and teachers and friends, nothing ever felt… right, you know?"

"I suppose. I..." He stopped himself, not allowing his thoughts to go where they wanted to. Clearing his throat, he stood up. "As much as I've enjoyed our chat, you need sleep."

"You're right," she said as she snuggled under the covers. "Goodnight, Severus."

"Sleep well, Hermione," he said before extinguishing the candles and leaving the room.

As he left he allowed his thoughts to wander, for just a moment, to what their child would be like. He imagined escorting them to Platform 9 and ¾ … watching with pride as they climbed aboard the train, excited for their first day at Hogwarts. They be intelligent, brave, magically… well, the possibilities were endless, and if they looked at all like their mother…

He'd just entered the guest room when he realised how far he'd allowed his little fantasy to get away from him. Then suddenly he saw them: a small boy and girl, the boy was slightly older for some reason. Their daughter had dark curly hair and and big brown eyes. The boy was slim and with long straight chestnut coloured locks. Not lank or oily. What was most striking about the pair was the overwhelming happiness that radiated from them. Happy children? Could he…?

He shook himself. "You fucking fool," he whispered to himself as he kicked a bin across the room. It had been too long since he'd used his Occlumency shields; he'd gotten lazy since the Dark Lord's demise. Sitting down at the small writing desk, he closed his eyes and concentrated on pushing all this feelings regarding his wife back behind a wall where they belonged.

Should have done this weeks ago, he thought. Once he was finished he did feel more in control, but of course, it came at a price. Emptiness and hollowness returned. Ah yes, I'd nearly forgotten this feeling. It was something he had hoped he'd never have to experience again.

Hermione was reading in the sitting room when Severus walk in. "Where's Ginevra?" he asked.

"She got a better offer," Hermione replied. "She left after helping with my bath."

"Potter?" he asked.

"No. Ginny and Harry dated for about a minute. He's been seeing Luna for a year or so. Do you not remember that she was at Harry's when you asked her to come sit with me the other day?"

If the location of the blonde witch had registered; he clearly not put two and two together. The social life of his former students was of little consequence to him.

"Ginny's just… dating," she added.

"Ah…" He sat down and rubbed his temples.

"You okay?"

"Fine. Just needed to get out of the study for a moment. I'll be out of your hair shortly,"

"You're not in my hair." She paused and cleared her throat. "Though, I have wanted to talk to you about something."

"What is it?"

She played with the frayed edge of the blanket on her lap. "Well, you've been… different lately. Since the other night- the night we talked about my memory, my childhood. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something?"

Severus stared at the witch in front of him. Of course, he had been different. He had used Occlumency for years to hide his emotions, not only from others but from himself as well. He'd just never cared if it affected someone else before. His previous near constant state of surliness could, at least in part, be attributed to this technique of simply not dealing with his feelings. But what else could he do while still in the Dark Lord's service?

It had worked in the past in dealing with atrocities carried out by his Death Eater brothers. But as he looked at the young woman on the settee across from him he realised what a mistake he'd made in trying to shove all his feelings into a damn box. For now, he'd just have to suffer. She didn't deserve to live with an automaton on top of all the pain she endured on a daily basis.

"No, of course not, Hermione. You've done nothing wrong. I've just been distracted with research and trying to find some kind of cure," he lied.

She breathed an obvious sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness." Giving him a bright smile she said, "I'd miss our talks."

He caught himself just before saying 'as would I'. Perhaps a break would do him some good though. "What did you have planned with Miss Weasley?"

"We were going to watch a film."

On second thought... "What film were you two going to watch?" he asked assuming the young women would have ghastly taste in Muggle cinema.

"Well, Ginny was going to bring it. It was her turn to pick one out."

"Does Ginevra make it a habit of venturing out into the Muggle World?" he asked, not really caring, only slightly curious.

"She has recently. She's just started dating a Muggleborn… witch," she said, looking at him appraisingly.

Ahh, that's what the vague answer was about earlier. Does she actually think I care if the Weasley girl is gay? My silly wife. He decided to throw her off by ignoring it altogether. "What shall we do instead?"

"Um, I have some films here. They were my father's, mostly. Older ones. You might like them," she answered nervously.

"Is that a reference to my age, Mrs. Snape?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course not!" she protested. "They're just a bit more… refined than what Ginny would have picked out." She pointed to the cabinet under the television. "They're in there. Take a look."

After a few minutes of searching they decided on The Manchurian Candidate. More than half way through the film Severus looked up at Hermione and asked, "Have you seen this before?"

"Yeah, I watched it with dad once or twice," she replied. "And yes, I see the parallels between brainwashing and the Imperious Curse. Though Muggles have to go to a lot more trouble to control a person, of course. Also the implantation of false memories is a bit like…"

"Yes, Obliviation," he interrupted, wishing he'd never caused her to recall the painful memory. He was still mentally kicking himself and she was saying something. Not really paying attention, he asked her to repeat herself.

"I said: surely Yaxley would have fit well in Cold War Russia. He did use the Imperius on the Minister for what? A year? No wonder he's been able to…"

"That's it!" Severus jumped up. "I've been… fuck! How did I not see it?"

Hermione moved to the edge of the settee. "What? What are you talking about?"

He paced in front of her as he explained. "The curse, Hermione, it's a combination of both the Cruciatus and Imperius. It controls your body, turns it against you. Cruciatus must be constantly controlled, it drains the caster's magic. Imperio can be cast, a task set and the wizard is no longer needed to maintain it. It's how he controlled Thickness for nearly a year, with little contact." He thought through the new information. "If he combined the two curses, and somehow set your body to experience this slightly lesser version of the Cruciatus… he'd not have to drain his magic to cause harm."

"Does this help find a cure?" she asked pleadingly.

His hands on his hips, he squared on his wife. "I honestly don't know. But, it's more information than we had five minutes ago. I need to contact Bill Weasley."

"Of course," she said with a smile.

Thanks so much. More to come (hopefully quicker this time ; ) Love a review ~Lil~