Gibbs hated parties.

Gibbs had taken it upon himself to introduce that knowledge to the right people at NCIS early on-no way he was suffering through a thousand office parties- and soon, by nothing more than reputation, the invitations had stopped. This party, however, had been unavoidable. So he had spent the last couple hours with Kate at his side (the only reason he hadn't dropped the bugs the second they had arrived and walked out again) letting her make small talk about the weather and cats, while he grunted comments from time to time, and kept his eyes on Ajax. When his patience had taken a fatal blow, too much drunk giggling for his too sober brain, he had sent Kate off to drop off their last bug. She'd only been gone a few minutes, but he felt his jaw grow tighter with every moment he had to self-navigate this party.

I don't miss her...he thought to himself.

When Kate had finished, when she had come back to him safely, they were leaving whether she liked it or not. Yeah, right. Gibbs clenched his fist around the beer in his hand, looked down at it, and took another pretend swig. This would be a lot easier if he could actually drink the contents of the bottle, instead of playing pretend, but he found some comfort in the action all the same.

He didn't want to wait another moment, dropped his still full beer bottle on the closest table, and turned to search for her when she moved into his line of sight. She gave him a tight nod from across the room, starting across the short (but crowded) distance. Gibbs looked her over. Her cheeks had gone pale in her absence, eyes searching the people she passed by carefully. Far too carefully for Gibbs to be comfortable with. Kate looked like she was expecting danger, from anyone, everyone.

An old familiar habit, he supposed, but one he thought she had started to leave behind. Gibbs started moving towards her at once, half-expected her to whisper the code word saying their cover had been blown the moment he reached her side. Instead, he saw her still, swallow, try to draw herself up in a rally that would cover her emotions. Her fear.

What's gotten you so upset, Katie?

"Okay?" he asked, pulling her closer to his side, before lowering his head and voice. "Kate? What's wrong?"

He hated her fear, hated how it drew up a protectiveness in him she probably wouldn't appreciate, and how it made him want to tear apart anything that caused it. He wasn't used to a scared Kate, didn't know what to say or do to ease it, erase it, but that didn't mean that wasn't what he wanted to do most right now.

Kate swallowed once, tilted her head up, breath hot against his cheek and ear when she let out a shaky exhale. "One of our neighbors saw me leaving Ajax's room," she said. She had her mouth right next to his ear, but her voice was still almost inaudible with the noise of the music in the background, and he drew her closer still. "I, uh, played it off like I was lost. It's fine...they believed it, Gibbs. It's fine."

Okay, not ideal.

Still, he didn't see any harm. Kate played her part well, with just a warm smile she could disarm most people here without them having a clue they had any reason to suspect anything from her. Gibbs looked her over, then looked around the room. The party continued on, no one looking their way, no one giving them an extra glance. He laid a kiss against her hair anyway. He'd like to think if this had been DiNozzo (who he would not have just kissed) he would still want to reassure him, let him know things like this happened in an op.

With Kate, there was no other option.

"Hey," he said, looking down at her, his voice still low. "It's okay. You're okay."

She nodded, but she still so detached, so quiet. Time to leave...

He drew away from her slightly, keeping his hand against the small of her back, a connection he thought they both needed. Her eyes sought out his face at once, and he gave her a tight smile.

He nodded to the door, and moved his hand to grip hers gently, pulling her along. She moved with him without protest, and he almost had them free of this mess when she stopped. He gave a tug, gentle but firm, but she didn't budge. With a sigh, Gibbs turned back to her.

"What is it?"

"We need to tell Ajax we're leaving," she said, blinking up at him. "Can't just go...be rude."

Gibbs almost smiled. Leave it to Kate to be thinking of manners at a time like this, in the middle of a party thrown by a potential serial killer, while fear threatened to overtake her. Still, if she said it was rude, it probably qualified. She'd know better than he would these days. He sighed again, letting her hand go. While he thought they were okay, no damage done, he didn't want to push their luck. And the sooner he took care of this, the sooner he could get Kate back across the street.

Gibbs moved his way across the room, stepping up to Ajax's side silently. The younger man looked up at him, and Gibbs thought of Kate only when he forced polite words of parting, instead of shoving him into the wall for however he contributed to Kate's distress.

Kate

For a moment or two, she'd thought it was the familiar feeling of disappointment that had settled over her. She'd managed to slow her heart by will alone, made her way from the bathroom to the living room, and yet she still couldn't convince her feet to move to Gibbs. She felt glued, stuck. The sounds of the party had overtaken all other noise, it all became so loud it made her head ache behind her eyes.

So, she'd been spotted. She'd played it off with no trouble, slipped a little slur into her voice (just a little, didn't want rumors flying around the neighborhood about her) and touched the man's shoulder. He'd led her to the bathroom with a warm and lingering smile, and when she felt properly leered at, she'd gone in. She'd been upset with herself, sure, but it wasn't a big deal.

So, why can't I catch my breath?

The feeling of panic that had started in Ajax's bedroom, hadn't faded with Gibbs' kindness, his concern. If anything, it escalated, until her skin felt tight and it was too loud in here and she wanted so much for Gibbs to return so they could leave. She'd done her job, now she wanted to walk away.

"Lola," Gibbs said, from behind her. His hand pressed against her lower back, a kiss dropped against her hair. "Hey, come on. Let's get out of here. I took care of it."

If she were feeling better, she might protest the name, at least shoot him a glare. Instead, it took all her focus to keep her breathing even, the air felt thin and hard to come by. Her heart had started pounding again, her hands were shaking at her sides. Kate looked up at Gibbs, needing something from him even if she couldn't figure out what.

The door shut softly behind them, and he met her eyes, before taking her hand again. His grip was tight, and comforting and she let him lead her back across the street (Feeling like a small child instead of a Special Agent). Gibbs led her up their front path, only releasing her hand to unlock their front door.

"Breathe, Kate," he said, without taking his eyes off the door. He kept his tone soft, and gentle and unlike the Gibbs she knew. "Come on, in and out. Nice an' slow. Do it for me."

She nodded, obeyed. There was no choice, no thought there. She didn't have a lot of room for choosy thinking right now anyway, too many thoughts were rattling around inside her brain.

Gibbs opened the door, took her hand and pulled her in when she hesitated to follow, and closed it again. He made no comment about why she had suddenly gone mute, seemed to know exactly why she had no words and why her heart decided to try to make a daring escape from her chest.

The keys were shoved into his pocket, and he reached out for her, stopping short of actual touching. He looked hesitant, unsure, and she nearly stepped into him to make the choice for him.

"Kate?" He asked, moving a step closer. "Can I touch you?"

If he were anyone else, the answer would have been a sharp 'no'. And while she wasn't fond of needing help, right now Gibbs was the only one she could think of that she wanted it from. She nodded and he moved into her space, wrapping his arms firmly around her, and then reaching up and stroking her hair. His heart beat loudly in her ear, strong and solid, and she closed her eyes and let herself focus on the rhythm. The soft sound of his own breathing triggered something in her own to slow.

"You're safe," Gibbs said after a moment. "You're safe with me. I've got ya."

The words seemed silly, far away, and were exactly what she needed to hear. She lost track of the minutes, only hearing his words of comfort whispered into her hair. She breathed him in, let him be strong enough for the two of them for just a moment, and it all slowly eased the impending doom back away from her. As quickly as it had come, it was gone. She calmed, feeling exhausted. His words trailed off, but his hand didn't stop stroking her hair, while his arm kept her pressed up close to him.

She let him hold her another moment, before the reality of the silence hit her. They weren't alone, despite the fact that they were the only two people in this house. They always had an audience, she had only just forgotten in her panic. All of that, at least the part at this house, had probably been heard. Tony and McGee had remained silent while she broke down in the middle of an op, and Kate couldn't remember the last time she felt so embarrassed.

"Boss?" Tony finally said, breaking their silence. Gibbs loosened his grip, taking her hand again and leading her into the living room. He nodded towards the couch, and moved closer to the bookshelf where he would be better heard.

"Sitrep," Gibbs said, eyes still on her.

She felt nervous, and tired, and unsure of how she still had his focus despite the questions he fired off at the other two. The embarrassment didn't fade watching Gibbs, but she felt sure that no matter how much anyone had heard, they wouldn't say anything. They'd pretend it never happened, a specialty of Gibbs' that he inspired (scared into) his team without so much as a word.

Kate listened to Tony and McGee give their reports, and then Gibbs leaned away from the bookshelf. He walked over to her, sat down on the couch, eyes gentle and searching. She thought of Ajax and the feeling in his room, and felt herself scooting a little closer, despite the part of her brain that insisted didn't need him for comfort.

"Want to tell me what brought that on?" he asked.

Gibbs

Gibbs knew a panic attack when he saw one, didn't matter who happened to be wearing it at the time. He'd never seen Kate have one, wasn't sure she even knew what had hit her, but he had reacted on instinct alone. Gibbs would like to pretend he hadn't seen the way combat could ravage a mind, or simply the way the mind attacked itself sometimes, but he had seen far too much. He'd learned over the years how to help someone back down. Never imagined using it on Kate, but he wouldn't tell her that. She might be inclined to think he was pointing it out as a weakness, instead of just a mark of being human.

He'd rather focus on the cause, the problem. Picking apart feelings always led to discussions, discussions he didn't want to have right now (ever) as he might admit too much in an attempt to comfort her.

"Kate?" he asked, when she didn't respond. She sat, biting at her lip, and he wanted to reach out and smooth away the tension that lined her forehead. "Don't worry about it, it happens."

She looked dubious, but she nodded, drew in a breath.

"I don't know-" she started, searching his face before nodding again. "I don't know what happened. I was fine, and then I went to drop the bug off. It was like I couldn't get out of there fast enough. His room...that room felt...this is going to sound dumb, I know...it felt evil."

She probably expected a laugh. He didn't have one in him. Gibbs had seen too much, might not believe in demons, but he sure as hell believed in people. They were exactly as evil as any demon Gibbs could ever imagine.

"Not dumb,' he finally said, when she didn't continue. "Go on, Kate."

"I got the bug in place," she said, nodding, eyebrows raising for a moment before she dropped them again. "It worked, so I was heading out. That's when Brad, I think his name was, saw me. But like I said, it was fine. After I went into the bathroom though, I couldn't stop the feeling. I thought it was the slip-up, but it didn't get better. And then...of course you know the rest. I'm sorry, Gibbs. Sorry I messed up in the middle of an op."

"Didn't mess up, Kate," he said, meeting her eyes until she nodded at him.

He wanted to say more, tell her that it was okay to break, that she had held herself together long enough to do her job-what he expected of his agents. He wanted to tell her so much, but settled for reaching out and squeezing her hand. Gibbs searched her face, for something he might be missing, but she seemed much calmer now. Tired.

Tomorrow would be better, he decided. They'd have audio, video. Abby was running the evidence (again) and something in this case would break soon. In the meantime, he'd keep Kate safe. He didn't even care if she'd slug him for suggesting she might need it, because he knew he couldn't bear the thought of something happening to her-especially on his watch.

"You need sleep. C'mon," he said, helping her up, leading her upstairs.

She changed silently, still so far away from him. They both crawled into bed, and all the awkwardness from the night before seemed a million miles away. He said nothing, wanted to give Kate as much privacy as he could, but opened his arms. She might slap him, might reject him, but he thought that maybe tonight she might just need him. She scooted into his hold, and Gibbs didn't care if it this pretend or real, he just cared that he that tonight he got to hold her.