Part 18

Hiccup was incredibly twitchy as he walked into the little cafe in the foyer of the Berk Ice Rink, the venue for his date with missberserk, the jet-haired grey/green-eyed girl who had emailed him twice more to confirm the date and time of the date. She was certainly pushy, organised and determined...at least that part of her profile was accurate-though she had been insistent on the venue. He swallowed and headed for the most likely looking person in the cafe, a slender and very attractive girl with her jet hair braided over a shoulder and bright eyes that narrowed as he approached. She rose and smiled at him.

"Nightfury29?" she asked. He nodded.

"Hi," he managed with a small smile. "I'm Hiccup..." She leaned forward and decorously air-kissed him.

"Heather Oswaldsdottir," she said briskly. "You're punctual. That's very good..." He shrugged.

"Um...I try..." he managed, sliding into the seat opposite her. The waitress took his order for a black coffee and Heather went for the double cream macchiato then settled back.

"So...looking for friendship and maybe more?" she began and he blushed slightly.

"Well, I live in hope," he said quietly, trying not to sound pathetic right from the get-go and he offered a shy smile. She inspected him, her intelligent eyes sweeping over his self-conscious frame and she frowned slightly.

"But, I mean-why?" she asked him directly. "Why are you going down the dating site route rather than..."

"Getting someone normally?" he completed softly. He shrugged. "Guess I'm a little shy." She smiled.

"But..." she began and he blushed. Their coffees arrived and he stirred his aimlessly. She inspected him more carefully. "But how come you can't meet people normally? What's wrong with you?" He stiffened and wanted to say everything but he recalled Astrid's words and took a sip of his drink.

"Um...so why are you on the site?" he asked her quietly and she gave a little smile.

"Thought it would be a change from locating guys in bars," she admitted and he gave a small smile.

"So that's where I'm going wrong," he murmured. She stared at him.

"You don't go to bars?" she asked him in surprise. For some reason, the strains of 'YMCA' rolled across his memory.

"Er, not very often at all," he admitted. And even less often when I can remember what happened...

"So do you skate?" Heather asked, sipping her coffee and munching the amaretti biscuit provided. He shook his head and sipped his coffee to cover his embarrassment.

"No," he said in a shamed voice. "Always pretty clumsy, to be honest, and I had a bad accident last year so my left ankle is damaged...so I doubt I'll be able to..." She stared at him and there was disappointment and annoyance on her face.

"Look, why didn't you suggest we do something else?" she snapped. "I suggested this and you said yes. I'm here to skate so you can either come on the date or..."

"I...um...did ask if we could do anything else," he reminded her. "But you did insist on ice skating. You said it HAD to be ice skating. Are you a professional skater?" There was the finest hint of sarcasm in his voice and she glared at him.

"I have skated competitively, yeah," she said.

So you want to show off, he realised. While I flounder. Oh, this is going to be ugly. He shrugged.

"As long as you understand you'll be skating alone because I'll be hanging onto the boarding at the side of the rink," he told her despondently but she finished her coffee.

"I'll teach you," she said determinedly. Hiccup stared at her and gave a shuddering sigh.

"Okay," he said with forced enthusiasm and got up stiffly as she rose and smiled.

"You get the cheque and I'll get the skates," she said. He rolled his eyes and sighed.

"I can't wait!" he sighed.

Heather was already on the ice, scoffing at him as he carefully laced up the boots. He knew this was going to be a disaster, about as bad as it could be, because he actually had no left ankle at all and had been hopeless at skating even prior to the accident. He fastened his jacket, pulled on his gloves and staggered to his feet, limping very unsteadily towards the rink. He grasped the hoardings, his heart galloping in his chest and seeing Heather smirk at him, beckoning him forward. And then he glimpsed a familiar shape behind Heather, a lithe blonde wearing a baby blue bobble hat and jacket, holding onto a small shape in a pink anorak, pink bobble hat and pink leggings. He drew himself up, seeing Astrid gliding competently on the ice, holding Emma's hand and smiling and, comforted by their presence, he moved forward with more confidence. He knew they would protect him.

Emma saw him stagger onto the ice and hang onto the hoardings desperately, his balance deserting him almost instantly as he maintained a death grip on the boards. Heather was backing away, her movements lithe and confident and Hiccup looked terrified. The little girl grabbed her mother's sleeve and tugged hard.

"Mommy-there's Hiccup!" she said excitedly. "Can we skate over to him?" Astrid sighed and shook her head.

"He's here with his friend, baby," she told her daughter.

"But we're his friends as well!" Emma pouted stubbornly.

Why is my daughter exactly like me? she sighed inwardly. Gods, am I REALLY that obstinate?

"Baby-you remember what we said? That us being here is a secret?" she asked but Emma was determined.

"Mommy-let's go and see Hiccup!" she whined, pulling on her arm and fidgeting. Astrid crouched down, staring calmly into her daughter's eyes. She shook her head.

"Emma-do you remember when you gave away Hiccup's secret last time-and it made him very sad?" she reminded her daughter. Emma stared and then reluctantly nodded.

"Yes, Mommy," she sighed. She gave a huge sigh. "Oh-kay...But can we wave to him as we skate past?" Astrid rose and smiled.

"That would be nice," she said and they pushed off, gliding expertly past the tall shape, clamped to the hoarding.

"Let go!" Heather snapped and Hiccup straightened up, then took a couple of very hesitant steps from the hoardings. He managed a small smile...and then his foot slipped away and he toppled backwards and slammed to the ice. Heather laughed and he scrabbled backwards, frantically crawling to the hoarding and desperately dragging himself back to his feet. She laughed at him, sliding backwards and then coming forwards again. Astrid and Emma skated by and the little girl waved happily. Hiccup gave a nervous smile and fell over again.

Unsympathetically , Heather skated over and laughed as he crawled desperately back to the edge. He sighed as he dragged himself up again.

"I knew this wouldn't work," he said despondently but she huffed at him.

"That's pathetic!" she scorned him, folding her arms and watching him struggle to scramble up once more. He took a deep breath and staggered onto the ice, bent forward and looking very tentative. With a smirk, Heather grabbed his hands and rapidly dragged him into the centre of the ice...then left him, circling round him as he slowed to a halt, looking around frantically.

"Um...little help here?" he called to her. She whizzed past him and laughed at his bowed shape.

"Come on, Hiccup! I'm sure you can manage to stand up like an adult!" she scoffed.

"I'm good," he replied, trying to move his right leg and almost over-balancing. "Heather...please..." She laughed at him as she accelerated and threw an easy double Salchow that had her zipping past him.

"C'mon-even that little kid is doing better than you!" she scoffed and waved at Emma. The little girl waved happily and Hiccup grimaced.

"Bet she's been before," he grumbled and almost fell. Heather laughed at him again and glanced calculatingly towards the entrance.

"You just make it to me and I'll take you back to the edge..." she promised and he gulped. He took a painful breath and shuffled forward a hesitant few inches-as a large group of teens raced onto the ice, zipping past and barging him aside. With a wretched cry, he landed on his face.

"Too bad," Heather laughed and skated away, leaving him stranded. He stared up at her in betrayal and rested his hands on the ice, managing to get to his hands and knees...but he was slammed aside again and sprawled on the ice once more, spinning on his face.

"Heather? Help!" he begged but she seemed to have vanished. He was surrounded by speeding teens, in real fear for his safety as the sharp blades zipped close to his hands. His breaths accelerated and the hated familiar feelings of utter worthlessness washed over him once more.

Suddenly, the edge of his vision saw a pair of pink leggings and as he looked up, Emma grinned at him and Astrid crouched down, taking his hands. He glanced up, his eyes panicked but his face altered to a relieved expression as he met her amused azure gaze.

"I see the Olympics aren't beckoning," she murmured gently and he clutched at her in desperation.

"Um...Paralympics, I think...and not until they have 'the worst ice skater' category," he mumbled, scrabbling with his feet to get up and knocking her over. Emma burst out laughing at the sight of the tall man tangled with her mother: Hiccup's face was almost on fire with embarrassment but he felt a gentle pat on his shoulder and stiffened. Astrid expertly got up and held his hands firmly.

"Use your good leg to get on the ice," she advised him and he put his weight through his normal right leg. Then she gently pulled him up and he was able to get his left skate onto the ice, shakily rising to his feet. He was very wobbly. "Where's your date?" He swung his head around and nearly fell over, grabbing at Astrid. She steadied him and he shrugged helplessly.

"I think she bailed," he said in a low voice. "I mean, why wouldn't she? She's a skilled and competitive ice skater with years of competition and I'm worse than useless..."Astrid scowled and her eyes narrowed.

"You'd think if she was interested in getting to know you, she wouldn't arrange a date where she would swan off and leave you stranded..." she mused. He nodded slightly.

"Um, yeah...figured that out for myself," he sighed as another teen whizzed by and jostled him, almost knocking him over. Astrid heard laughing and her azure glared fixed on the teen-a kid with jet hair and grey eyes-before she carefully skated backwards, towing the wobbly Hiccup towards the side. Emma glanced up and her eyes widened.

"Mommy-look out!" she called as the same jet-haired teen was aiming straight for them. But at the last minute, Astrid's elbow jabbed out and the boy yelped, winded and ended up on his ass, spinning over the ice. His friends opened their mouths to protest but Astrid's glare could have melted steel and they all veered away from the furious blonde. Hiccup was too busy hanging on for dear life to comment until his skates met solid ground with relief. Instantly, he hugged Astrid in total delight.

"Thank you," he said, trying to calm his breathing. Then he felt a tug on his jacket and he dropped to his knees. "And thank you, Emma," he added, hugging the little girl. She grinned.

"Wow-that lady was mean," she commented. "She should have waited and helped you like Mommy and me!" Hiccup nodded.

"Yeah," he sighed heavily. Astrid helped him hobble to the seats and change out of his skates back into his trainers and then she smiled.

"I think you owe me a coffee," she told him. He gave a sigh.

"I have no idea what she wanted, except to humiliate me," he murmured as he rose achingly. He had a lot of bruises from his falls and his leg had been jarred. "She never really asked me anything about myself, never told me anything about herself. It was all very...strange. Another dating disaster!" Astrid slipped her arm through his and his eyes widened.

"But on the bright side, there are no cops, bikers, fights or people doing YMCA," she reminded him and he managed a relieved smile.

"Just my trusty wingman," he replied. Astrid smirked as Emma grabbed Hiccup's hand and he grinned at the little girl. "Plus one."

oOo

The following morning, Astrid took him to his first Psychologist appointment and as they drew up to the car park by the office, she saw him revert to the subdued, broken man who had walked back into the Diner that first time after his accident. He knew he would have to face his demons and though he was coping a little better, the prospect of going back to the beginning was causing him to freak out. So they sat in the car, outside the office and he had a panic attack.

"It's okay," Astrid reassured him, hugging him tightly and she felt his face burrow into her shoulder as he hyperventilated.

"No, it's not," he mumbled. "None of it is alright, Astrid! I-I hate this. Sure, I was never the most brash and forceful guy but I could deal with problems-Hel, I lost both my parents and had to sort out the disaster my Dad left when he died and I coped. I've travelled, I've done College and I coped with being bullied as a kid. But with this...oh Gods, Astrid, I am completely useless!"

Her eyes prickled with tears and she squeezed him fiercely. "Hiccup," she said in a low voice. "I know you feel so awful because of the accident and how badly Ana treated you...but you aren't useless. You took Emma and I in and you dealt with everything. You were so calm and so reassuring and so in control! I was the useless one..."

His head moved and shamed emerald eyes inspected her face. "You're amazing," he murmured.

"And so are you," she told him. "And I know you can do this because you do want to get better and become the sarcastic, sassy, great guy I first met. Ready?" He nodded dumbly and they exited the car. He took a shuddering breath and they walked in, his limp more obvious since his failed attempt at ice skating. The receptionist saw them to a waiting room and he took a panicked breath.

"Please stay with me," he asked softly. She smiled.

"Got no choice since I..." she began but he shook his head.

"No, here. For this..." he begged her, emerald eyes desperate. "I can't face it without you..." For a long second, she stared into his eyes and really wanted him never to have to.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "I mean, you may reveal some personal stuff in there...?" He shrugged.

"Um, I think you know everything," he said self-consciously as the receptionist walked up.

"Mister Haddock! Doctor Ferry will see you now!"

Hiccup rose and looked plaintively at Astrid but she was already on his feet, a small smile lifting her lips as his warm hand gently closed around hers and they walked into the doctor's office together.