They drove all day long, taking shifts as planned. They stopped in one small town to refuel and they passed a few completely ruined homesteads and villages along the way. Once it began to get dark, the Undertaker chose a place to pull off the road far enough away from settlements to be safe from Aerial bombings and ground combat. They parked the car behind some bushes and the mortician put into place an encompassing concealment that would hide their camp completely from mortal eyes—though demons and other reapers would be able to see through it. While he set up camp and scavenged around for basic herbs and edibles to snack on, the younger two reapers portaled back to the other side to purchase the rest from reaper grocers.
William selected some veal from the butcher's, a head of red cabbage from the farmer's market, some flour, eggs, vegetable oil and bread crumbs and while Ronald loaded all of that into a grocery sack, he also purchased some cooking utensils and the rest of what he needed to make a complete meal with a side dish. He stopped Ronald from eating one of the green apples he'd purchased to go along with it and he reminded him that they would be part of the meal.
"Patience," admonished William. "I know you are hungry but if you eat the ingredients, tonight's meal will be a bit of a disappointment."
He smirked a little at the younger reaper. "Perhaps I should carry the sack of groceries and leave you to carry the camping necessities, hmm?"
Ronald flushed and slowly put the apple back into the sack, "I was hoping you had an apple or two extra..." Ron sighed. "What all do we have left to get?" he rested his chin on William's shoulder from behind.
William looked over his list and he hummed thoughtfully. "We could probably do without the solar shower, considering we can easily traverse the realms and shower at any Dispatch facility we like...though I daresay the Undertaker may begin to ripen a bit, before long. This may take a bit longer than I thought. Ronald, why don't you take the groceries to the local Dispatch hub and take the opportunity to bathe whilst I gather the rest of our supplies? I'll shower afterwards and then we can return to our campsite so that I may prepare dinner. Pick up something to snack on while you take your break, if you are terribly famished."
Ronald blinked at the list, "Are we on a road trip or are we building a house?! Will! I think that's going way overboard! No way do we need a ton of that stuff. You may as well add an electric generator and a kitchen sink!"
Will flushed. "I don't intend to collect everything on this list. I merely wrote down things to consider getting while here. Now go and get cleaned up while I decide what to collect and what to scratch off of this list."
"Well...okay." Ronald started to pull back, but then stopped, "Hey, could you maybe grab me some pajama bottoms? It'd feel weird to sleep in my boxers in front of Undertaker. Before, it wouldn't be a problem...but since I'm with you, now...it just seems right to be a little more modest on this trip. Warmer, too." He requested, kissing the shell of the man's ear.
William shivered impulsively at the brief, teasing caress of Ron's lips on his ear. "Yes, I can do that. I am sure I can find something suitable on the way to the surplus shop. I shall try to be quick." He smirked. "And I promise not to purchase a kitchen sink to go along with everything."
"Thank you, Will." Ron smiled, giving the man's butt a squeeze before turning on his way to get a light snack and a nice hot shower.
William jumped a bit in response to the spontaneous grope, and his face flushed. He glanced around to see if anyone noticed and was staring, but the few reapers moving about the small town were too busy with their own affairs to pay attention to a small display of affection. Glancing down at his list again, he tried to pull his head out of the gutter and concentrate on the task at hand.
Undertaker paced around the camp and he slipped his gloves back on to warm his hands. He clicked his tongue against his mouth and he removed his hat to let his hair down. The length and thickness of it provided a little extra warmth against the elements like a cloak, but he was sincerely considering opening up the trunk of the car and digging his regular clothing out to change into. He wasn't usually given to being bothered by the cold, but the uniform wasn't as insulated as his usual layers.
"What's taking those lads so bloody long?" groused the mortician, hopping a little in place. It was going on three hours now and he was hungry. He walked over to the small fire he'd set up and started, and he crouched before it and held his hands out for warmth. He did this for another fifteen minutes before he got up again and went to the car, digging the keys out of his pocket.
"Bugger it, I'll change into something more comfy."
Of course, stripping down out in the open would be quite uncomfortable, but he doubted he could do it inside the car with his long limbs and height. He opened up the trunk and he located his luggage, digging out his pants, boots, hat and robes. He glanced around and he shrugged. There was nobody to offend out here, save the wildlife. Walking back to the fire to help ward off the chill while he was changing, the Undertaker stripped off his uniform and started putting on his mortician garb.
He only managed to get one bare leg into his pants before a portal opened up and his companions stepped through. Standing there in nothing but his flowing silver hair with one calf partially covered, he stared open-mouthed at them both, at a loss for what to do. He considered diving for cover, but he'd recognized poison oak in the bushes and he was in no rush to come down with a nasty rash...especially in more sensitive places.
William was too preoccupied with lugging the oversized sack of supplies he had slung over his back to notice the mortician's nudity right away. "Undertaker, I apologize for the wait," he began to say. "There was rather a bit more to gather than I...thought..."
William trailed off at the sight of his former mentor staring at them in the buff with his mouth hanging open. "Oh. I was not expecting...pardon me."
He quickly turned around, nearly hitting Ronald with the cumbersome bag of supplies in the process.
"Er...hi, hi," greeted the Undertaker, for lack of anything better to say.
Ronald couldn't look away, his eyes wide with shock at seeing so much exposed, deathly white skin. Every jagged scar was visible, every inch of long, slender body was on display for all to see, save for the man's back, which was covered with his long silver hair.
Realizing he was staring, Ronald flushed and tore his gaze away, "I didn't realize we had a full moon tonight," he joked to try and cover up the awkwardness he felt.
The Undertaker worked faster to get dressed. He wasn't particularly embarrassed. He practically lacked a sense of shame and there was a time before he became scarred and twisted when he had quite a selection of lovers. He did regret making his young companions feel more uncomfortable around him than they already did though, and he'd seen how quickly Will blushed before turning his back to him, and Ronald turned just as pink.
"Begging your pardon, chaps," said the mortician as he yanked his pants up and reached for his shirt. "Your timing was a tad unfortunate, is all. I got cold waiting out here and wanted t' put on more layers."
"By stripping down to the nude?" Scoffed William, face aflame. He'd never seen so much of his mentor before and he really didn't know how to feel about it. He replaced the mental picture with the memory of Ronald's tanned, lithe body. That image didn't confuse him at all.
"Well I can't rightly change clothes without stripping first," reasoned the mortician. "I'm decent enough now. You can both turn around. The moon's safely hidden behind the clouds again." He chuckled with amusement over the awkward moment, shaking his silver head as he reached for his boots and began to put them on.
"Why not just add layers? I'm sure it's warmer that way rather than getting all naked and shit." Ron suggested, turning around and setting down his sack, but not making eye contact with the elder.
"'Cause the bloody uniform was too stiff and itchy. I missed my soft robes." Undertaker finished putting the rest of his layers on and he folded up the uniform to be put back. He paused on the way to the car and he stared at the bulging supply bag William was lowering to the ground.
"Good gracious, Willy," exclaimed the Undertaker. "Did you pack a toilet in there too? Mayhap a bedroom suite and a stove?"
William sighed. "Ronald said something similar and I'll have you both know that it contains necessities. Cooking utensils, blankets, a waterproof tarp, drinking canteens...things of that sort. We do not know how long we may be traveling without access to a civilized town on this side and I would rather have the supplies we may need than find I need something and not have it."
Undertaker's brow furrowed as he tried to make sense of that. "So you're saying you packed a bunch of rubbish we don't need right now because we might need it later. There's a word for that, William: packrat."
Ronald slapped his hand across his mouth to hold back a laugh.
"Ehrm." he cleared his throat and kicked a split log for the fire over to use as a seat, "How are we gonna cook our not potatoes?"
"With some of the supplies I brought—presuming the two of you have no objections to having your meal prepared by a 'packrat'." William felt slightly miffed by the teasing, but he smirked at his old mentor, rising to the challenge.
The Undertaker spread his hands. "I can take a hint, love. No more teasing tonight. I don't want to be sent to bed hungry."
"Very wise choice," approved William. "Undertaker, if you would be so kind as to take four eggs from the carton in the grocery supply bag and crack them into this bowl to beat them with a teaspoon of oil, I'll begin preparing the veal. Ronald, your beginning task is simple. I need you to please shred the red cabbage and slice up the two apples I bought. You can put them all in this pot. Tonight we'll be having Wiener Schnitzel and a side of spiced German red cabbage."
Ronald was briefly distracted, having not expected the Undertaker to call William 'Love'. It had always been 'Willy' or something funny like that. Never an enduring term of affection. It made the thought that the two's history together might not have been so platonic, after all. But the thought was fleeting as he was given his task.
"Right!" he hopped up and grabbed the apples to cut up first.
Some time later, they were enjoying the result of Will's cooking on tin plates he'd picked up, eating with multi utensils designed specifically for camping. The Undertaker played with his utensils at first, until William reminded him that they were for eating, not playing. When the ancient excused himself after the meal to relieve his bladder, William watched him go with a sigh and a shake of his head.
"How can such a brilliant man fall so far?" muttered Will to Ronald. "Sometimes he seems to have the mind of a child, while other times, he's the calculating genius I used to know. It aches my heart."
He shook himself out of it and he glanced at Ronald's nearly finished plate. "How do you like it?"
"It's so good!" Ron grinned, "And I'm not just saying that because there are no potatoes." He leaned over and pressed a kiss to William's cheek. "It really is good!"
The compliment brought a hint of a smile to William's face, and he was able to put aside his frustration with Undertaker for a moment. He watched the way the firelight flickered over Ronald's features and he simply took a moment to enjoy it.
Ron smiled and slid over on the log they were using as a seat for the three of them, closing the space between them, "You can cook for me any time, Will," he added as he slipped an arm around William's waist.
William took advantage of the Undertaker's momentary absence to allow himself the liberty of brushing his lips against Ronald's hair. "When this is over and I have a proper stove, I will delight in treating you to a full range of good cuisine, Ronald. The meal tonight wasn't cooked quite evenly due to a lack of a stove, but..."
He trailed off when he noticed a flash of lights in the distance, followed by a sound that resembled Thunder. William slowly stood up, staring at the horizon. They were too far away to hear more than the concussive blasts, but it was quite obvious that another bombing was taking place in the settlement far in the distance.
William sighed and shut his eyes. "And so it begins anew."
Undertaker was coming out from the bushes and he too was looking off into the distance as he approached the campfire. His twisted smirk showed a marked lack of his usual enthusiasm. "Like I said, chaps: He tends to go where the meals are richest."
Ronald frowned. He didn't want to go towards the bombs. Not because it wasn't safe, but because of what it would do to William. Even now he could see how William was reacting to it. Briefly, he wished that he were the senior reaper on the trip, rather than William. He wished he could order Will to stay at camp while he and Undertaker went to search for their target.
"Are we going to make our move...tonight?" he asked.
The Undertaker shook his head. "Give him a chance to feed and get lazy. He tends to take off sooner if he feels me closing in on him, my lads. There's nothing we can do for tonight. We'll follow after him in the morning and hope we catch up in time t' put and end to him before the next slaughter."
William shivered and he set down his plate, losing all interest in what little remained of his meal. The Undertaker noticed, and he nodded at the plate. "Finish that, Willy. Keep your strength up."
William shook his head, and he reached up to clutch the sides of it. He could hear the whispers growing stronger, and each distant blast seemed to strike him directly in the soul. He tried to tell himself that they were just mortals...just pages in the book of existence. It wasn't working, though. His connection to this war was quickly unraveling his self-control...and it wasn't simply because of mortal death or the reason behind it. Someone even more dangerous than his former mentor was literally unraveling things, and William felt like he was failing his organization. His pride…his honor…all of it was becoming more meaningless to him by the day.
"You speak as though it's nothing more than an evening at home," William rasped, trying to block out the sounds of the bombs and the increasingly louder noise in his head.
"Will? Are you okay?" Ronald moved in front of William and he placed his hands on either side of his face. The man looked so pained, and he didn't even seem to be hiding it any longer. Was it really getting that bad?
"He's hearing the cries of the dead and dying," explained Undertaker, swaying a little on his feet. "I hear them too."
"And yet you don't seem to care," accused William tightly. He took a shaken breath and he started to rock back and forth. "Gods, they're so...loud!"
Ronald felt even more confused, but the only thing he could think of to do to help was to reach up and press his hands over William's ears to try and block the sounds that the Undertaker said William was hearing. The mortician snorted with amusement over the naive but compassionate gesture, and William's tension faded a bit in response. It didn't help to quiet the noise since it was all in his head, but he opened his eyes and gazed at his partner in silent gratitude for trying.
"Thank you, Ronald," he whispered, "but I'm afraid you cannot muffle it that way."
The Dispatch supervisor rested his hands over the ones covering his ears, and he managed a slight smile of appreciation, hoping it would ease Ronald's concern. "I shall manage, somehow. This was a thoughtful gesture of you, though."
The Undertaker watched the pair and he felt the stirrings of something in his breast that he couldn't immediately identify. After a moment, he recognized it as envy. As stiff and monotone as Spears could be, he obviously had a bond with his young assistant that went beyond what they'd once shared, back in the day. The ancient couldn't recall the last time he'd had another gaze at him that way...worry over him and comfort him. He hadn't taken a lover for decades, and upon witnessing their closeness and warmth, he found himself longing for a companion.
Ronald bit back the frustration he felt as he gazed up into William's eyes. "I don't understand what is happening to you." he admitted in a low voice, "But I want to help... How can I help you, Will?"
William considered the question, and he honestly wished he had a positive answer for him. He could think of nothing Ronald could do, however, and he'd made it his policy not to lie to him since getting close. "You can't. I wish it were otherwise, but—"
"Excuse me William," interrupted the Undertaker, "but before you finish that sentence, could I have a word alone with you?"
Annoyed by the interruption, William gave the elder an exasperated look. "Can it not wait?"
Undertaker shook his head. "I don't think so, Willy. I need to say it while the thought is still in my head. It should only take a few minutes."
William sighed, and he gave Ronald a faintly apologetic look. "Please excuse us for a moment."
He got up and he followed the mortician into the cover of the trees, leaving Ronald at the camp. "All right, what is this about?" He demanded once they were alone together. "Your timing could not have been more awful."
"Or my timing couldn't have been better," countered the Undertaker. "You were saying there's nothing your attractive young friend can do for you, but that's far from the truth."
William bristled. "I am not going to ask Ronald for sexual favors to distract me from my issues, if that is what you're implying."
The mortician sighed, and he shook his head. "Wasn't suggesting that in the slightest, Willy. It's fairly obvious to me he's got a calming effect on you, though. He's already expressed a desire to help you, lad. If I'd had someone like that at my side when things went to pot for me, I might not be this far gone now."
William frowned as a surge of emotion went through him. "You still have options, sir. Our...I mean my organization still respects you...still honors the sacrifices you've made. You don't have to be alone."
The Undertaker smirked and lowered his gaze. "Think so, do you? Ah, but I've chosen my path, love." He stepped closer and he reached out to stroke William's hair, demonstrating a fondness he hadn't expressed since the brunet was training under his guidance. "I'm too far gone, William. I know that, even if you don't. I'd rather not see you follow me into the darkness, though."
He drew William into a hesitant embrace, unpracticed now in the exchange of affection. He sighed against Will's ear when the younger reaper stiffened for a moment and then relaxed. "Trust in your Ronnie, William," he whispered. "He may become all that stands between you and inescapable madness, in the end."
Ronald had watched as William and Undertaker disappeared from his sight, and he sighed, picking up a stick to poke at the dying fire. It'd need fresh wood soon, and he figured that William was busy trying to make heads or tails of whatever madness Undertaker decided needed to be said, so he decided to see what he could gather and help keep the three of them warm through the night.
Grabbing the hatchet that Undertaker had brought with him, he set out to gather dry wood that wasn't sitting on the damp ground. It didn't take long as he found an old dead tree that was still standing, and he quickly chopped and broke branches off to use, gathering them in his arms to take back and keep the fire going.
"You still have options, sir. Our...I mean my organization still respects you...still honors the sacrifices you've made. You don't have to be alone." Ronald heard William say in a low voice.
"Think so, do you? Ah, but I've chosen my path, love." Came the husky reply of the elder who normally spoke in a comical tone.
Ronald didn't mean to eavesdrop, but it couldn't be helped. He hadn't known exactly where the two had gone, and he was only making his way back to the dim glow of embers in their fire pit. And Undertaker's words gave him pause for a second time that day.
There it was again. 'Love' . The Undertaker called William his love, once more. This time, the thoughts in the young reaper's mind weren't as fleeting, and he crept towards where he had heard the voices.
The evening was growing darker, but Ronald could still see the two as silhouettes in the darkness. The taller man was reaching out and caressing the younger, before pulling him into an embrace.
Ronald felt as though his heart had stopped and dropped to the pit of his stomach. Maybe he had been right...they had been more than just junior and senior working together...and maybe those feelings had never left either of them...
Swallowing hard, Ronald tore his gaze away and turned to hurry back to camp, his foot getting caught on a root and sending him to the damp ground, his gathered timber and logs scattering about with loud thunks against the dirt and brush.
"Shit!" he cursed, pushing himself up and trying to gather the wood again, quickly.
Unaware of Ronald's plight, William was struggling to absorb all that he'd heard from his former mentor. "Do you mean to tell me that you think the cure for my ailment is to simply be with someone?"
Undertaker shook his head. "No, lad." He stepped back from him. "I'm saying that your one hope to overcome this may just be in your partner. When those voices get too loud, just focus on him."
William sighed, and he turned back to camp, remembering Ronald saying much the same to him. "I can't bring myself to speak with him frankly on this matter. He obviously isn't suffering the same ailment as myself, and he said himself that he cannot understand it. I fear it's too great a burden on him."
"I very much doubt Mr. Knox thinks of you as a 'burden', Willy," remarked the Undertaker as he fell into step with him. "Death knows I'm no expert on relationships, but it seems t' me that boy would follow you into Hell itself, if you asked him to. Give him the benefit of the doubt."
William didn't respond to that, too deep in his own thoughts and struggling to shut out the whispers and cries in his mind. How the Undertaker managed to concentrate through all of this ruckus was beyond him. He saw Ronald gathering wood at the edge of camp and he approached him.
"I apologize for the interruption," he said politely, while the elder went back to the fire to poke at it. "It was mostly just his mad babbling."
"Mostly?" Ronald asked, straightening up with his arms loaded back up with his gathering. He shook his head and put on a smile to cover his hurt. No matter what, he'd still be there for William. Even if it wasn't in a romantic sense. And the man didn't need him suddenly acting cold. Not while they were in Germany, at least.
"It's alright. He's probably more help than me, anyway. Ya'know, cuz he understands what I don't."
The blond began to carefully make his way back to the fire and unload his arms without tripping again.
William stared after him, sensing that something wasn't right but unable to pinpoint what. His head hurt and he rubbed his temples with a sigh. Perhaps some aspirin would help. He returned to the camp and he went to the car to open the trunk and locate the small bottle within his belongings. He shook two of the white capsules out of the bottle and he tossed them into his mouth, rinsing them down with water from his canteen. He watched as Ronald added wood to the fire, absently screwing the lid back onto the bottle of aspirin.
~How can I share this with you, Ronald? How can I lean on you as you wish, without putting even more weight on your young shoulders?~
He wondered if this was how the Undertaker might have felt about him when he began to slip. Obviously their relationship dynamic wasn't the same as Will and Ronald's, but after the discussion he'd just had with his former mentor, he was beginning to understand what it was like not to want to drag someone else down with him. He had much greater reasons than the Undertaker to hold back. His romantic interest in Ronald made it doubly important for him not to burden him with his issues.
~Could this be...love?~
William was so unfamiliar with the sentiment that it startled him to realize the truth of it. He stared at his morose companion, helpless to think of how to reassure him or communicate his feelings. He spotted his plate on the ground and he walked over to dispose of the last remaining bite and clean off the plate. His eyes strayed to Ronald as he poured a bit of water over the plate and wiped it off. How he longed to just put his arms around him and take comfort in him, but he'd spent a lifetime trying to deny such basic needs. He noticed the Undertaker watching him and he cleared his throat, gathering the other plates to wipe them down and put them away.
~Stop staring at me as though you can see right into me, Death. I can handle this without you.~
Again, Ronald couldn't find sleep that night. His mind was far too busy focusing on William, his problem, and now...Undertaker and Will's relationship with said madman.
Using the tarps William had bought, they had set up a dry place to sleep. A tarp was laid out under their sleeping bags, and the others formed a roof and walls around them to save them from wind and any rain that may come down. The front of the tent was still open to let the heat of the campfire in.
Ronald was closest to the flames, facing towards the warm glow as he watched the flickering light give off heat. It felt good on his face. But still, the sandman passed him by.
With a sigh, Ron rolled over and took in the face of the supervisor, sleeping peacefully in the dark night. The man looked so peaceful...yet strangely troubled with a frown tugging on his lips.
The blond reached out to touch Wills cheek in comfort, but it did little to help, if at all.
~I wish you would talk to me.~ he thought towards the sleeping man, ~I wish I could be the one to help you...~
From the other side of William, movement served as a reminder that they weren't alone as Undertaker rolled over, his long arm draping over William and pulling him to his chest. And finally, William's face relaxed, losing all signs of fret.
Ronald's eyes widened and he slowly sat up, turning away as his stomach twisted.
No...no; he couldn't do this...he couldn't handle this on his own, even if it was what was best for William. He was in love with the man, and he needed to guard his heart, too. It was okay to be a little selfish...right?
Pulling his shoes and jacket back on, Ronald got up and hurried to the car to get his phone, scrolling through the contacts as he shut himself in for privacy and so he wouldn't wake the other two. Finally locating the number for his best friend, he hit send and lay down in the back seat under a spare blanket, phone pressed to his ear as he listened to it ring. This time, he didn't even care how late it'd be for Eric... he needed his friend.
Eric came awake with a snort when the phone rang. He reached for it with an unhappy frown on his lips, expecting it to be Dispatch calling with some emergency. Since taking on the responsibility of supervising his department, he and his partner Alan hadn't really enjoyed much time to themselves. As he reached for his glasses and peered narrow-eyed at the phone, he was a bit surprised to see Ronald's number showing on the ID.
"Hullo?" Muttered the Scotsman upon answering the phone.
"Sorry to wake you..." Ronald spoke in a low voice, feeling a little bad for how tired his friend sounded, "I just...really need to talk to someone, and...you're my best friend... do you have time to talk?"
Eric glanced at the clock, and while it was late, Ronald was his closest friend. He sat up and covered his mouth on a yawn. "Sure I can talk, Ronnie. Has somethin' happened? Are yeh alright?"
Ronald paused, curling up under the blanket, "...I think..." he sighed and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples with his free hand, "I..." he thought back to the embrace Undertaker and William had shared when they didn't know he was able to see.
"...It hurts..."
Eric's expression darkened, and he misunderstood the meaning behind the younger reaper's words. "Where's tha boss, Ronnie? Where are ya hurt? Do I need tae send out search teams tae track ya down?"
"No... no, nothing like that." Ronald insisted in his hushed voice. "William's asleep, and we know where we are." He heaved a sigh, one he knew Eric could probably hear, "This is more... personal, ya know? I just…I think..."
Damn it, tears were filling in his eyes and he was choking up again, "I think Will...I think... he doesn't actually...I think he's in love with someone else!" he finally choked out, a bit louder than he intended, but control over his voice was getting difficult.
"I think he... was just using me as like... I don't know... a place holder or... something! H-He hasn't told me to bugger off yet but, but I saw them... and now..."
Ronald cursed, wiping at his cheeks to dry the tears, "Fuck... it hurts..."
Eric's concern for Ronald's physical safety quickly changed into concern for his emotional safety. His free hand clenched into a fist. Ronald Knox didn't get this upset over just anyone, and boss or not, if Spears hurt him he was going to get a taste of Scottish knuckles. He knew he would be devastated if he saw Alan doing anything with someone else, now that they'd hooked up. He couldn't imagine someone as proper as William T. Spears cheating on his boyfriend, though. Perhaps Ronald had made a mistake.
"Who'd ya see him wi', kid? What'd yeh catch him doing?"
Ronald looked down. No one new who he and Will were working with, and he was sure it was supposed to stay that way... but maybe he could tell him without letting the cat out of the bag, so to speak?
It was worth a try.
"Will's in the arms of... his old mentor..." he muttered, trying not to let his voice crack. "Ya'know, like the only person he has ever fully trusted and looked up too... I...I think they had been more than what Grell and I are... and now that he's here... Will... William doesn't...need...me..."
Eric frowned in confusion. He had no idea who William had trained under, having transferred to the London division from Edinburgh just before Spears got promoted to supervisor of their department. He did know whom the man once idolized, though. He'd seen William get onto more than one Dispatch agent for speaking disrespectfully of the old bat, once the Undertaker came out of hiding behind his guise as a funeral director.
"No..." He shook his head, horrified at the thought. "Tell me yer kidding, Ronnie. Will an' tha Undertaker? Wha' tha fook is he doin' there wi' ya?"
He knew the boss had reported they had a lead in the case they were investigating, but he'd never imagined it was the mortician. The man was still wanted by Dispatch authorities and whether Spears idolized him or not, it wasn't like him to fail to report a sighting.
"...Shit.. you can't say anything! Not yet. We need the geezer's help..." Ronald pleaded, "and yeah, I'm sure. The old man keeps pulling Will aside to talk and...this last time...I didn't mean to, but I saw them and...the man was calling him his love and caressing and hugging...and now...now they are..."
Ronald swallowed, "Will's in his arms...not mine...but I can't say anything because Will needs support right now... not a breakup and drama because I found out the truth... but... even still..." he sighed, "I don't want to... I really do love him... but he loves Undertaker. Eric... this isn't like flirting with a guy in a bar that turns out to be with someone... What do I do?"
Eric compressed his lips. He wasn't sure what advice to give Ronald, but he knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to teleport to wherever they were and bash William's unfeeling skull in. "So ya mean tae tell me they're doin' tha deed right there in front o' ya?"
It seemed utterly ludicrous. He couldn't imagine Will having sex with anyone in front of onlookers, let alone banging someone right in front of the guy he'd just committed to. Either he wasn't getting the whole story or William had truly gone off the deep end. He'd had to have, to do something so crass. The man Eric knew was a social ice cube, but he'd never do something so vulgar as to screw someone else right in front of his boyfriend.
Ronald's cheeks flushed and he stole a hesitant, paranoid glance out the car window at the shelter they had set up. He knew they weren't, but when Eric suggested that they were... he couldn't help but want to make sure.
No movement.
Ronald let out a relieved sigh and sank back down into the back seat. "No...no sex or anything...but you know... cuddling...holding each other in their sleep..."
"Huh. Did they start this before or after they fell asleep?" Not that Eric believed it really mattered to Ronald...not if he'd seen them caressing while awake and heard the Undertaker speaking the endearments of a lover to William. Was it possible that Spears really was in love with the fugitive? It might explain his failure to inform Dispatch of the man's whereabouts when he discovered them.
At the encampment, the elder of the two reapers in question stirred, awakened by the noise in his head. He smacked his lips and yawned, lifting his head off the camping pillow it rested on. He frowned in confusion when he realized he was spooning someone, and he levered himself up on one elbow to get his bearings. The Undertaker's cheeks warmed a bit when he realized he'd been cuddling his former pupil, and he grimaced as he carefully eased his arm off of him and scooched away. Imagining young Knox wouldn't be too pleased if he noticed, the mortician looked for the blond and he saw that his side of the bedding was empty. Oh dear...if he'd hugged Willy while Ronald was up, chances were the boy saw it. Hoping that wasn't the case, the ancient got out of his sleeping bag and got to his feet.
He heard Ronald's voice speaking softly and he followed the sound to the car, seeing him inside of it. The young agent seemed to be on the phone with someone, and the Undertaker hesitated, concentrating on quieting the voices in his head long enough to hear what he was saying.
"Doesn't matter." Ron mumbled, "I know when to take a hint-but this whole thing is...you know. I need help, Eric...advice...I'd never gotten serious with anyone before! You were the closest thing I ever had to being serious and we were only just friends with benefits until you snatched up Alan-senpai, and I...well...I thought, I got Will..."
Eric sighed, pained for his friend's suffering. He'd always thought that if he and Ronald made a romantic commitment and settled down with anyone it would be fore keeps. He didn't even know how long he had with Alan before his partner's illness finally claimed his life, and that scared the shit out of him...but to have him snatched up by another person just when he'd finally gotten him would have been unbearable.
"Ronnie, I'm no expert on a real relationship either, but if it were me...wull...I'd probably confront him about it. I dun' know tha details o' how tha two o' ya go' together, but if he's made a promise tae yeh he cannae or willnae honor, then ya deserve tae know. Ya shouldn't wait an' suffer in silence, wondering where ya stand wi' him. Tha's my opinion on tha matter. Tell him yeh saw him doin'...whate'er he was doin' wi' tha Undertaker and make him choose. Don't put him first if he's only going tae put ya second, kid."
"Yeah, that's great," Ronald said. "Mess up everything and get stuck with still having to see him every day knowing it's over before it really got a good chance to begin..."
But then again... could he continue on pretending? Either way he was stuck...
"Hades Damn it all!" he cursed, "I don't want to let him go, but...it's so obvious I'm not the one he'd rather be with, and at least Undertaker seems to be able to help and understand things with him...and I'm just...some shitty useless kid third-wheeling on a trip across Germany who can't even go forget about shit in a pub because even if there was a bar it's too damned hard to order drinks in German!"
"Calm down, Ronnie," advised Eric. "An' stop putting yerself down too, while yer at it. Yer worth more than tha', an' there's a chance it's all a misunderstanding. You'll ne'er know 'till ya speak up, though. No matter wha's happening, ya deserve tae know tha truth of it so yeh can move on...wherever it takes ya. Wha' if it's all one-sided? Maybe tha auld man came onto Will but ya walked away wi'out seeing him turn him down? It's hard fer me tae judge going by tha information ye've given me, but none o' this sounds right."
Eric sighed again, and he dearly hoped it really was all just a misunderstanding. Otherwise he was going to end up getting himself demoted, suspended or fired when Ron and William returned from Germany, because if Will cheated on Ronnie and used him after all, the Scotsman had no intention of pulling his punches.
"Look, jus' say somethin' tae him," he coaxed. "Ya should be able tae tell if he tries tae worm his way out o' it. You an' I've both had plenty o' practice doing tha verrah same thing when our plans dun' go how we wanted 'em too. Yeh cannae make things much worse fer yourself by confronting him, aye?"
"I...I guess so..." Ronald sighed, wiping his cheeks again, "But it's really hard to compete with his fucking idol; madman or not, Will still has a history with him...and say what you want about me. I'm still the kid who likes to party and sleep and shows up to work late sometimes. That's my past with him: a whole lot of lectures and disappointing him."
"I dun' think he'd have picked ya fer this mission if he felt tha' way," reasoned Eric, "an' he wouldn't have given yeh tha time o' day, much less hooked up wi' ya. Something's goin' on fer certain, but ya told me yerself he's no' been acting right. If there's really something mutual happening wi' him an' tha Undertaker then maybe tha auld man took advantage o' him in a vulnerable state. Ya need tae find out tha truth."
"...Maybe..." Ronald sighed, wishing things could be easier. He hated having doubts. Romancing people had always been second nature to him, but he wasn't used to fearing he'd lose the person. Normally he didn't really care; it was just casual sex, nothing real.
After he and William started dating, he'd never doubted the man. And he still wouldn't be if he didn't keep seeing secret embraces and endearments between the two older reapers when they thought Ronald wasn't around.
His confidence was in picking up dates. Not actually dating seriously; and he found his doubts getting to him all too easily.
"I'll try to talk to him about it. Thanks, Eric. I guess I'll let you snuggle back up with Alan, now. Oh, and remember... I'm trusting you to keep the Undertaker a secret. I'm not supposed to talk about him to Dispatch at all, and this was more personal, and you figured it out..." he babbled. He was sure Eric would keep his promise not to tell, but he was on an emotional high, at the moment. He needed confirmation.
"I'll keep it tae mahself fer now," promised Eric—and he was glad that Alan wasn't there in his bed. It was going to be difficult enough to keep this from him and he knew that if his partner found out, Alan would likely insist that they inform the board. Fortunately they were trying to take things on the slow side and build up to things before getting intimate, despite Alan's condition that numbered his days. "But Ronnie, much as I appreciate yer position this is goin' tae have tae come out sooner or later. Tha Undertaker's a wanted reaper an' if Spears doesn't eventually report it..."
He sighed and dragged his fingers through his hair. "Jus' watch yerself, kid. I'm trusting yeh tae contact me if things get too out of hand. Dun' let yer feelings fer tha boss put ya in harm's way, understand?"
"I know. Will plans to when this thing is over with, or he did...I guess I don't know anymore..." Ronald sighed, "I trust Undertaker because Will insists that he's trustworthy, but still, I don't know the guy like Will does. My trust only goes so far with him, especially right now as he keeps hugging and holding Will like that." He shook his head. "Sorry for waking you, and thanks for talking to me. I really needed to get it off my chest and everything."
Ronald went to hang up, but he stopped himself. "And hey, no matter what happens, when I get home from this war...we'll need to go out for drinks."
"Dun' worry 'bout waking me," Eric reassured him. "I've gotten used tae it since taking o'er fer Spears...an' yer on fer those drinks. Good luck wi' Will an' call me if ya need anything else. G'night, Ronnie."
The Undertaker stood silently, pondering whether he should go back to bed and pretend he didn't overhear anything. Ronald had just hung up the phone, however, and it was doubtful that even a reaper that could be as quick as the Undertaker could make it back to the shelter before the young man looked up and saw him moving. He sighed, decision made. There was obviously a terrible misunderstanding and willfully or not, Undertaker had played a part in it. As tempting as it was to just let the couple suss it out on their own, he felt oddly accountable. After how they'd parted ways, perhaps he at least owed William some help in clearing this up.
The mortician walked up to the car and leaned against the hood, crossing his arms over his chest and waiting for Ronald to come out. It was likely the boy wouldn't want to discuss it with him at all, but he at least needed to at least try to explain that it wasn't what it apparently looked like.
Ronald stayed in the car, waiting for his tears to dry up before he snuffled and opened the door, taking the blanket with him. Distracted, he didn't even notice the man standing at the hood of the car as he shuffled by on his way back to their temporary shelter, the blanket over his head like a child trying to hide from the monster under his bed or in his closet.
Undertaker straightened up and called out softly to Ronald upon realizing he was going to walk right past him. "Agent Knox, spare a moment for a li'l chat? I think it's important."
Having not expected anyone to be up besides himself, Ronald jumped and turned to look at the shadowy madman in long robes. Though how he missed seeing his ghostly hair in the moonlight perplexed him. He truly was distracted by all his inner turmoil.
"I, uh...was just cold so I went to grab the spare blanket," he excused, afraid that the man had been woken up by the sound of the car door shutting.
The mortician clucked his tongue and shifted his stance a bit, crossing his arms over his chest. "We both know that's a bit of nonsense, chap. Not that I was trying to spy on you, but I happened to overhear the tail end of your phone conversation. I think we'd best get this sorted out before any real damage gets done, yeah?"
"Now—I don't want to fight you!" Ron gasped, holding up his hands, "If I did, I would have said something when you were sneaking hugs and who knows what else earlier!"
He was horrified that he'd been overheard by the man, but he couldn't go back, now. And he had no doubt that Undertaker had heard what the conversation was about.
"If...If Will wants to be with you, then I'll back off—promise! I won't like it, but if it's what he wants..."
Undertaker blinked at the younger reaper. Merciful death, this one was simply ripe with misunderstandings. "Ronnie, calm down, love. I'm not trying to initiate a fight with you and I'm not interested in Willy that way. I can only assume you've gotten the wrong impression 'cause I've shown him a bit of affection and encouragement when he needs it most. Probably didn't help that I cuddled up to the lad in my sleep, but there's nothing between the two of us that poses any sort of threat to your relationship with him."
He scratched his shaggy head and he sighed. "Maybe I'm just so bloody terrible at communicating now that I'm just not being clear enough. At any rate, I harbor a mentor's fondness for Spears that hasn't fully depleted over time, and t' be honest with you, I'm a bit worried about him. That doesn't mean I'm trying to get into his trousers. That's your business, not mine. I s'pose it's just nice to be in the company of the living again. Mayhap I overstepped myself and for that, I'm...sorry."
It felt odd to apologize, but this young man meant something special to the Undertaker's former apprentice and he didn't want to see things fall apart between them on his account. Even if they ended up in opposition to each other when all was said and done, he figured he could at least do this one thing for William while they were allies.
Ronald looked down and kicked at the dirt, his foot creating a small crater. He didn't know what to say. He'd been caught under the thumb of the green-eyed monster's control, yet he still didn't know if he could trust this man. But as Eric pointed out, he couldn't even trust what he had seen. As much as he thought he'd seen, he didn't know the whole story.
"...When I look at you, I know I see a completely different man than Will sees," he finally muttered. "I see an old madman that's scary strong and smart when he gets serious... he sees who you had been before the Demon Wars. He sees the great 'Legendary Death'. He knows you aren't the same, but he can't help but look up to you...he can't help but trust you—too much if you ask me. He sees a man whom I never met, one who was long gone before I was born. You influence him. You can't blame me for feeling like I do when I keep seeing you touching him fondly, hearing you call him your 'love', and seeing how he calms at your touch right after mine did nothing to help him. Even if you don't mean to steal his heart, it looks like you are. It looks like he needs you a lot more than he needs me. Will and I were going so good until now, but I was also the only one at his side. Now he has you, and I have to wonder if he's harbored feelings for you all these years that you are now bringing out."
The tears were rolling down Ronald's cheeks again. "I don't care if he chooses you! Well, I do care... I care a lot, and it's killing me; but more than that I just want him to get better and be happy I want whatever this is to stop messing with him... I don't want to see him fall into the same darkness you are trapped in."
At once, the Undertaker felt a surge of pity for this smitten young reaper. He sighed, and he smiled at Ronald—a gentle smile that few ever saw. "I don't want to see that happen either, my lad. You misunderstand it all though. See, Willy never had a decent father figure in his life and I think I might have filled that void a bit when I mentored him. He comes to me for advice because I know exactly what he's going through, but it's not a lover's eyes he looks at me with. He's sinking, Ronnie...and he's grasping at lifelines. Pity for him one of 'em happens to be cast by a lunatic, but I can assure you that the one you've cast means as much to him as mine—if not more."
He approached Ronald and his expression was solemn as he reached out to pat the agent's sunny blond head—not unlike his affectionate actions with William earlier. "You've just told me that you're willing to let him go for his happiness. That's proof enough for me that you're good for him. Now, as for the endearments...I tend to call a lot of people 'love' when I get fond of them. Doesn't mean I'm eyeballing 'em with romantic intentions, understand. I just called you 'love' a minute ago and I haven't tried to kiss you."
The mortician chuckled, tickled with himself. "I should probably apologize for the cuddles, too. I'm a cuddler, my boy...always have been. It's been ages since I had anything but a pillow to snuggle and it was pure instinct to seek out the nearest warm body in my sleep. I wasn't trying to romance your gent. Could have been anybody, truth be told. Don't hold my actions against him. I—"
He started to say that he envied their relationship and while he was quite fond of William deep down, he didn't really view him in a romantic light. The object of their discussion stirred fitfully in his sleep though, and the Undertaker's attention switched to him. William tossed and moaned, distressed with nightmares that one could only guess at. Undertaker sighed with empathy, and he nodded toward the bedding in the starlit camp.
"Go on then," he murmured to Ronald encouragingly, gesturing at the restless figure beneath the blankets. "You said you'd be there for him, so go and do it. Hold him...tell him he's not alone and it's going to be all right. Do everything nobody ever did for me, Ronnie. If anyone can keep him from drowning now, it's you."
He smirked a bit ruefully and he cupped the boy's chin with one cool hand, and then he wiped the glistening moisture from Ronald's cheek with his sleeve. A glimpse of his old self came out—the reaper that he once was, who could be both nurturing and authoritative with his juniors. Once upon a time, the mortician actually enjoyed babysitting little ones and he still had some regrets that he'd never had any himself. "There, that's better. Can't have you all teary-eyed, can we? You snuggle up to Will and I'll sleep in the car, yeah?"
Ronald took in a deep breath and nodded, feeling foolish for the upset he'd caused that night. "...Sorry..." he muttered to the man before making sure his tears were dry and handing Undertaker the blanket he'd taken from the car. Then he hurried back to their shelter and lay next to William, pulling the larger man to him and holding him close.
"It…it'll be okay, Will," he whispered, hoping he could help calm William's dreams, "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here."
William instinctively curled against the blond, hugging him close. "No more," he muttered into his hair. "Too loud...R-Ronald..."
Completely trapped in his nightmares, William was unaware of his own pleas for comfort. All that he knew in his sleeping mind was that the one reaper he had come to trust implicitly was speaking to him...embracing him. It soothed him and he spoke unrestrained words that he never would have said while conscious.
"Sorry, Ronald. So terribly sorry...what a miserable...disappointment I must be..."
"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let a rough patch drive us apart?" Ron whispered, hugging him tighter. A small pang of guilt struck his heart, knowing that moments before, he had been crying over thinking that William was falling in love with another. "Let me see if I can chase these voices or whatever they are, away." he pressed a kiss to Will's cheek.
William sighed with apparent relief, understanding Ronald's words even though he wasn't awake. He nuzzled the younger reaper's soft, yellow-gold hair and he mumbled incoherently to him. Gone was the cool, emotionless Dispatch supervisor. In his sleep, William was just as susceptible to emotions and needs as any other reaper.
From across the encampment the Undertaker watched, and he nodded in approval as Agent Knox did his best to comfort Will. Reminding himself that he couldn't afford to let himself get too attached to their company, the ancient climbed into the back seat of the car and did his best to fold his lean body into a comfortable enough position. It wasn't the ideal way to seek rest, but he reckoned he could only do more damage if he tried to sleep with his two young companions at this time.
-To be continued