Disclaimer: All rights belong to Disney, George Lucas, and all the men and women that created the Star Wars movies, books, and comics. I take no credit, and I do not mean to break any copyright rules. This is simply a work of fiction made for enjoyment. No money is being made. The cover art image belongs to peanutbutterroastedchestnuts. tumblr .com (remove the spaces)

Rating: T for violence, disturbing imagery, and dark themes

Author's Note: This is my last update for two weeks! I am going Hawaii tomorrow and will be gone for over a week. I will return next Thursday, but I since I will be catching up on schoolwork and sleep, I will not update until the week after. In the meantime, here's one more chapter. We're almost half-way through this fanfic!

Chapter 13

Outer Rim Territory, Unknown Sector, Anthan System, 39 BBY

My hands are clenched into tight fists in my lap, despite my wrists screaming out in pain from the pressure. I can't do this. Just being on this all-too-familiar planet is suffocating, and I haven't even stepped foot outside of my starship.

"This was a terrible idea," I say to fill up the silence. Obi-Wan looks over at me and then stands, and I get a bad feeling. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going out on the planet, of course," he answers. "I didn't come all this way for nothing. When you're ready, you can come out."

"No, don't leave me here alone," I order. He continues walking, and I realize he's serious. Panic sets in. The only thing worse than being on this wretched planet is being here alone. "Please don't!"

"The sooner we get this done the sooner you can leave," he replies, pausing at the doorway. "Now, are you coming or not?"

Cursing him under my breath I slip on my robes and follow him. I'd taken a shower on the ride here, and I have to admit I'd cleaned up nicely. My brown hair is combed through and braided in a long cord down my back, and clothes are freshly cleaned and dried with no wrinkles. My skin is clear and smooth, and I smell good. Looking good makes me feel more confident. Not confident enough to come back here alone, though.

"Where should we go first?" he asks after we exit the ship and stand on the town limits. Some new buildings have been put up and technology has advanced, but it is still the same old town I grew up in. "This is the main road," I say quietly. "It leads out to the cemetery where my siblings are buried."

"You're not ready for that yet," he says, and I silently agree with him. Instead I head up towards the main town center, my hood pulled up to obscure my face. Obi-Wan follows suit, and I have to admit we probably look like quite the sinister couple in our dark and long robes.

There's a bar in the middle of town my parents used to frequent. I've always been curious about it, so I lead Obi-Wan there first. It's a safe, neutral place where no one should recognize me, and if they do, it won't have too many bad memories.

An Ortolan bouncer keeps watch at the door, but he doesn't even try to challenge us, his blue-skinned trunk and big, floppy ears waving us forward. We enter the bar and manage our way through the tables full of Ishi Tibs, Jawas, and Ithorians. Anthan Prime has always been a melting pot of all sorts of sentient species.

We make it to the main bar and pull up stools. The waiter is a Nautolan with green-grey skin and big black eyes. He serves us our drinks and then hovers for a while.

Finally he speaks. "I haven't seen you guys around before. Are you new here or just visiting?"

In answer to his question I pull my hood back and allow the fabric to fall down on my back. The waiter seems to recognize me.

"Kaila's daughter?" he asks in surprise. I tense up at the sound of my mother's name but I don't visibly react other than that except to nod. "I thought she had moved on to Coruscant. More opportunities or something like that."

"We did," I answer, consuming my drink in one swallow. "I came back to visit."

"How is Kaila doing? She was a regular here years ago." Hmm. A regular. Wonder why she needed all that alcohol, I think sarcastically. Probably to deal with her cheating husband.

"She died years ago," I answer dismissively. "Drug overdose."

He frowns. "That's too bad. She was a good woman." Lies. "So what brings you back? Is it your father?"

That shocks me. "My - my father? He's still around?" I had always assumed he'd died years ago. Never once had I thought he still might be alive.

"Of course," the Nautolan nods. "He's remarried and lives on the other side of town. He hired a bounty hunter to search for you years ago but you were gone without a trace. Finally he gave up. He'll be delighted to know you're back."

"How did you recognize me when I've been gone for ten years?" I question, switching the subject. "Do I look the same as I used to?" It may seem like an innocent question, but to me it means the world. Do these people look at me and see the same coward and weakling as they had seen when I had left?

"You look like your mother," he replies. Great. That's much better. But to all these people, my mother was a normal person. Only my family knew how weak she really was. "And you look a little bit like you did. But different, too. You look stronger and wiser."

A small smile appears on my face at the compliment. "Thank you." I tip him well and slide of the stool, pulling up my hood again. Obi-Wan follows me outside of the bar where I finally break down a little.

"My father is still alive," I shudder, not totally believing it. I had held it together in the bar, but now I can't seem to grasp reality. "He's still here. And he searched for me. He's still alive."

"What are you going to do?" Obi-Wan asks gently. "Are you going to see him?"

"You want me to, don't you?" I accuse lightly. "You think it will help me make amends with myself."

He nods slightly. "I think it would. But if you're not ready, then don't do it. It will just upset you more."

He's right. But he's also wrong. I can't wait until I'm ready. I'm never going to be ready. It's been ten years and I still hold enmity for him in my heart, and I can't have peace until I've met up with him. It has to happen. And it has to happen now before my cowardly and weak instincts take over.

"I'm just going to see an old guy. I'm a Sith. This shouldn't be hard." I continue talking to myself as Obi-Wan and I head down to the address the Nautolan waiter had given us. "I can do this."

The house is much nicer than any house I had grown up with. It's a pale shade of blue with white lace curtains in the windows. The door looks formidable and I have to brace myself before pounding on the door. I mean it to be loud and authoritative but my fist hits weakly and quietly. Somehow it still hurts my damaged wrists. Great.

A man with grey and black hair answers the door, his shocking grey eyes so much like my old ones. Lines mark his face, creases in the skin that hadn't been there before. His eyes widen in shock at the sight of me. "Kaila…" he whispers. "You look so much like her."

"How?" I demand, an edge to my voice. "I'm not exactly cowering in front of you." Behind me, I Obi-Wan's hand on my shoulder gently, as if to remind me not to be so harsh. This isn't about revenge, this is about closure and making peace.

"I looked for you, Rina," he says, ignoring my comment. "I did for years."

"It's Minerva now," I correct. He stares at me blankly. "Are you going to let your long lost daughter come in or not?"

He finally steps aside and hesitantly motions me inside. I step in, not bothering to take off my muddy combat boots. A little dirt on his carpet is nothing compared the filth he made me feel like my whole life.

My initial fear gone, I regain my confidence and stride in the house as if it's my own. As I push past my father to step into the living room, I see a little boy playing with toys on the floor. A woman a few years younger than my father approaches from another room, a crease appearing on her forehead as she takes me and my friend in. So this is the woman who my father cheated on my mother for.

"Who are these people?" she asks my father, a hint fear in her voice. She's completely opposite of my mother - her hair is light blonde, unlike my mother's dark brown. Her eyes are brown, unlike my mother's light blue ones. She's tall and confident, unlike my short and terrified mom.

"This is my eldest daughter," he answers, looking over at us. She looks wary for a moment.

"And the other one?"

Now both of them turn to us. Obi-Wan has been silent this whole time, and I doubt he's about to speak now. I just love how he told me this was a big deal and that he'd have my back, because it sure seems like he's being a silent sentinel. "This is my partner," I say, making it a general statement on purpose.

"Rina, right?" the woman says, stepping forward and offering her hand. It takes me a moment to realize it's a greeting. Wow. I'm so off on my social cues.

"I go by Minerva." I reach out my hand to shake hers, my black robes falling back slightly enough to see the leather braces wound tightly around my wrist. She stares at it before I take my hand back.

The tension in the room is high, and I'm not doing anything to make her feel welcome. She isn't. This talk, this whole trip, is supposed to be between my father and I. He senses it because he gently ushers the woman and her son out. Once they've disappeared I slump on the couch, not bothering to sit with good posture. When I was younger, I always made sure to sit up straight and keep my feet down. My father notices the moment he comes back into the room.

"You've...changed," he comments slowly, sinking into the armchair on the opposite side of the room as the couch I'm on so he's facing me. I have a sarcastic answer to his question, but one glance up at Obi-Wan, who's standing motionless next to me, reminds me to be civil.

"I had to," I answer. "Circumstances changed."

"I remember when you were a little girl," he continues, and though him calling me "little" is severely offending, I keep myself from saying anything. "You were so shy and so quiet. You would hide up in your room as if…"

"As if I was scared of everyone and everything?" I finish. "Yeah, 'cause I was."

He lets out a long sigh. "What happened to you? You're not the same person who left here ten years ago. Your name isn't even the same. When you left you were hiding in Kaila's shadow and now...now you are confident and powerful…" His gaze lowers and I see he's staring at my stomach, which had been uncovered by my loose robes. My lightsaber is sticking out of my belt, a stark contrast to the pale skin.

"Mother died of a drug overdose three months after we moved to Coruscant," I reply. "I had to fend for myself."

"So you became a Jedi?" Father looks between Obi-Wan and I.

"He's a Jedi. I'm not." I leave it at that, but he isn't to be satisfied.

"Then what are you?"

"A Sith."

He blinks. "A Sith?"

I look over at Obi-Wan. "That's what I said, isn't it?"

"But those are bad people!" my father exclaims. "How did you get caught up in something so vile? I didn't raise you that way!"

"You're right," I say, dangerously calm. "You didn't raise me at all. I had to teach myself everything. And when my mother died and I was starving and dying in an alley hoping one of the many murderers would come and finish me off quickly one of those 'vile' Sith came and saved me. I would have died, hundreds of feet below the sky in an area smelling like factory toxins and crap, if it hadn't been for them. I remade myself. Hours spent training my body and honing my mind - and now I'm more powerful than you could ever imagine. And it all started when you decided to be disloyal to my mother and divorce her for some other side hoe."

Father is silent for a while. I motion for Obi-Wan to sit down next to me, and he finally does. This conversation is far from being over, I can tell.

"It explains your orange eyes," he mutters to himself. "So how did you two meet?" he asks aloud. "If you're a Sith and he's a Jedi?"

"I helped his master years ago with a mission, but more recently I was captured by the bounty hunter he was tracking on Hoth. We teamed up to take him down, and we've been together ever since." It sounds so simply, as if we were just two teenagers travelling from planet to planet with one chaperon. Sometimes I wish it were that easy.

"And what happened to your wrist? I saw the bindings on it." Is my father showing compassion? Worry? He actually cares about my well-being?

"The bounty hunter stepped on me and crushed the bones in both wrists, his strength aided by the Force. Our other Jedi friend did some healing, but they'll probably always be weaker." The bones in my wrists will always be damaged, just like my life. Because of my rough past my future will always be a little weaker.

There's silence again, and the room is thick with tension. It always will be. I don't think I can totally make peace with my father. We have too much history behind us.

"Do you abuse your new wife like you abused Kaila?" I question, the words just coming out. I can't stop them. "Does your son get neglected like Xavier and Lillea and I did?"

I expected him to be mad, but he just hangs his head in grief. "No. I made many mistakes with you and Kaila. Too many. I don't blame you for hating me. I wasn't exactly the greatest father figure."

That's an understatement, but I don't say that. "Good. Because if you do start making their lives the same hell I grew up in then I'm going to come here and kill you myself." I stand up with that. It's the closest thing to peace I can make with him. As long as he treats his new family better than me, I can go on with life and get past this. But the threat is still there. He needs to understand how badly he messed up my life.

"Are you ever going to come back?" he asks, still not moving from the seat.

"No. You're my past. I need to move on. And you don't need a constant reminder of your worst mistakes."

I walk out, Obi-Wan behind me. Both my father and I know it's the best goodbye we can manage. We cut all our strings and let all the baggage out, far behind us. Never again do I have to look back and worry about him. It's over.

"That was not the reunion I expected," Obi-Wan admits as we walk down the street. A bitter laugh escapes me.

"In my opinion it went better than I thought it would. It actually did help a lot to get all of that off my chest." I give him a smile. "Thanks."

He shakes his head. "This is something I'm going to have to get used to," he murmurs. "You saying thank you."

"I never said that," I scoff, pulling up my hood. "Now you're making things up. You should get your hearing checked. But let's go. We have one more stop to make."

"Who are we going to see now?" he asks, letting my earlier comment slide.

"My siblings."

Core Worlds Region, Coruscant Subsector, Corusca Sector, Unknown System, 49 BBY

"Very good," Darth Sidious says as he enters the house. Panic overcomes me as I realize I'm not in the spot on the floor he had left me at. What if he gets mad?

"You know, I didn't think you had it in you to move. Or to use the Force. But you did. It felt good to finally put all that hate and anger to use, I bet." It's a question. I nod in response, too scared to say anything.

"You've taken the first steps. Now join me on the journey to become all that you want to be. Powerful, feared, confident. Strong. You never have to be weak or useless again. It's everything you ever wanted, isn't it?"

I nod again, and he laughs. "A new person deserves a new name, don't you think? Rina doesn't fit you anymore."

"What do you think I should be called?" I question in a soft, trembling voice.

"You certainly were wise to take up my offer. I think your new name should be Minerva. It's the name of a warrior, of a crafty person. You'll be strong under it. So what do you say, Minerva? Are you ready to continue your training?"

My body is still shaking, but I manage to push up my chin high in the air. "I am ready to become Minerva and to leave Rina behind. Anything it takes."

A wicked smile spreads across his face. "It will take anything and everything. I'm glad you're prepared."

Outer Rim Territory, Unknown Sector, Anthan System, 39 BBY

We walk across the stone bridge that leads to the cemetery deep in the words. I stop in the middle of the bridge, leaning over the side to look at the shallow water underneath.

"This is where my brother jumped," I say quietly. "He hated the idea of being left with our abusive father so much that he prefered death. I remember them fishing his body out. There was so much blood."

Obi-Wan leans on the stone railing next to me. "How come no one noticed how much you and your siblings were suffering?"

"Everyone on this planet was - is - preoccupied with their own business. What's a little boy jumping off a bridge when you have no money? When your boyfriend is breaking up with you? When your best friend is fighting you? We were nothing here. It's why I had to get away." I push myself away and continue walking towards the forest. "What's your home planet like?"

Obi-Wan laughs. "Stewjon? It's a joke. There's nothing there. It might as well not exist and no one would notice. I don't remember much of it since I became a Jedi Padawan at a young age. I didn't really know my family."

"Family is overrated," I state abruptly. "Don't feel too bad about it. Besides, you have Qui-Gon. He's like the cool uncle who lets you get away with lots of stuff your parents wouldn't let you do."

"He is," Obi-Wan agrees, and we fall into a comfortable silence. The forest seems to get darker and scarier to closer we get, and I can start to see the weathered grey headstones peeking out of the ground.

The mood grows darker and more ominous as we approach. Our soft footfalls are the only sounds, as even the birds seem to avoid the graveyard. The shadows from the trees cast the area in darkness, and the sun seems blocked out by the overhead canopies.

I head to a small duo of granite graves. The mounds that once were overturned with fresh dirt are now grown over with yellow grass. My steps slow as I get closer and closer.

I kneel in front of the first grave, my trembling hands reaching out to trace over the fading stone. Xavier is carved in calligraphy across the smooth substance, clear and beautiful. He was so young and innocent. "Xavier was my older brother. He...he was the angelic sibling. He had light hair and big, blue eyes. Everyone loved him, my parents excepted. He was so sweet and kind, and so generous." My hand falls to the ground, taking in a deep breath. It doesn't smell like death here, but that's the only thing in this place. The living don't come here. I'm probably the only one to visit this grave since it had been dug.

A couple feet away is my sister's grave. This one is smaller and, misshapen. My parents had been embarrassed that two of their children had committed suicide in such a short time and they didn't want anyone to know. They had put minimal effort in making her stone, and they hadn't even bothered to put her name on it.

Again I kneel, but this time my hand is shaking so severely it misses the gravestone several times before I manage to put it on the cool stone. The name Lillea is scratched on the stone crudely and is almost illegibly, reddish brown stains dripping below the paint like messy paint. Flashbacks of bright crimson splatters and pain and the silver glint of a knife come to mind.

"Lillea was my younger sister. She was shy and quiet and always followed Xavier like he was her religion. In truth, though, he was the one who held us all together through those dark years. She was...she was five." I lean forward and rest my forehead against the stone. My fingers slide down the rough stone, catching a sharp edge and tearing. I can't even feel the pain. "She hung herself in my room. My parents...they were so humiliated they didn't even have a funeral for her. Not even a proper gravestone. I came here in the dead of night and carved her name on here...She deserved better," I say, and finally the dam in my heart bursts. Sobs come and they don't stop. I hadn't cried like this in ten years, and I feel so vulnerable and ugly. This isn't me. I don't cry.

But this isn't me visiting this graveyard. This is the old me, Rina. This is a lost and abandoned little girl mourning her dead siblings and best friends. I hadn't let Rina out in a long time and now it's all catching up on me.

Arms wrap around me gently and I lean into them gratefully, not remembering when I had last had an open shoulder even offered. For the first time in a long time I realize how much I had being lonely. I travel the galaxy and live my life by myself, but deep down I hate it. I've only been alone because I'd never tried to make friends or even find people worth being around.

Finally things let off and I step back, taking in a deep breath. "Okay. Thanks." I turn my back and walk away, leaving my past far behind. I'd been living in fear of it for far too long. Now it's time for things to continue on. It's time for me to let go and not look back.

My mind clearer than in a long time, I feel a small smile curl up on my face. Things are good now. I am free to do whatever I want with whoever I want and nothing is in my way. The force feels stronger than ever, its presence obvious without me even searching for it.

We arrive back at the ship, and I resume my slouched position in the co-pilots seat. Obi-Wan looks over as he starts the starship up.

"Where are we going?" I ask casually, pretending that everything on Anthan Prime had not happened.

"Back to Coruscant to meet up with Qui-Gon," he answers. "Are you ready to go back?"

"Sure. It is the main hub of the galaxy, after all," I say, taking out my hair from its braid and re-doing it. "I haven't been there in years."

He grins. "It's changed a lot. You'd be surprised."

"Do I get to go into the Jedi temple? I've always wanted to talk to the Jedi Council. The things I'd like to say to them…" The malicious smile on my face only grows as I imagine the moment.

"I'm not sure that's a great idea," Obi-Wan argues gently, but he drops it. He knows I'll be good and stay away. Besides, there are places better than the Jedi temple to spend my time. Coruscant is a big place. "But Qui-Gon and I have to go there, so you'll have plenty of time to explore."

And just like that, I've been added to their dynamic duo. No discussion, no arguments, just a simple and subtle hint that from now on, I'm one of them.

I could get used to this.