Disclaimer: All rights belong to Disney, George Lucas, and all the men and women that created the Star Wars movies, books, and comics. I take no credit, and I do not mean to break any copyright rules. This is simply a work of fiction made for enjoyment. No money is being made. The cover art image belongs to peanutbutterroastedchestnuts. tumblr .com (remove the spaces)
Rating: T for violence, disturbing imagery, and dark themes
Author's Note: Captain America: Civil War was amazing! Any Avengers fans here? I saw the Rogue One trailer at the theatre and it also looks so good! I'm really excited for it to come out! Unfortunately, I do not agree with the actor for the Han Solo spin-off. I doubt I will ever watch it. Also, I apologize in advance for this chapter. You may hate me after reading it.
Chapter 15
Unknown Territory, Unknown Sector, Kintan System, 39 BBY
We exit our separate ships, entering the hot, dusty planet. I had left my heavy black robes on my starship, and it's refreshing to not be constantly sweating for once. My droid follows me out as I meet up with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan.
"Who are we meeting up with?" I question as I raise my hand over my eyes to block out the bright sun. "There's plenty of Jedi Masters from this planet."
"Ima-Gun Di sent for us," Qui-Gon answers, continuing forward into the city limits. "He has some rogue Kajain'sa'Niktos causing trouble. Apparently they work for Jabba the Hutt."
"I really don't like him," I mutter under my breath. "One day one of his slaves is gonna be the death of him. I can feel it."
Obi-Wan grins at that assessment, and even Qui-Gon's face makes something bordering on a smile. We're our own little squad, the two Jedi and me, the Sith. I can't imagine the Jedi Council is happy about this arrangement. Unless…
"Does anyone know that I work with you guys?" I ask. The two Jedi exchange a look, and that's all the confirmation I need. "Well, aren't you quite the rebels? Keeping secrets from the Council."
"Not everyone is as accepting as we are," Qui-Gon admits. "Obi-Wan and I both know you mean us no harm, and we trust you. The others don't understand, and they wouldn't approve."
"Now I get why you aren't on the Council," I say. "I mean, I'm not complaining. You guys are wiser than most of them, but it makes sense. They're all about strict order and rules, and you guys are more casual and easygoing. Whatever keeps the peace is alright, and all that fun stuff."
Ima-Gun Di meets us. His dark orange skin contrasts sharply with his bright blue eyes as his ivory white horns. His lightsaber handle swings from his belt freely. "Master Jinn," he says, nodding his head. "Padawan Kenobi. And...who are you?" He stares at me, and it makes me uncomfortable. I feel as though he can see right through me. He obviously can't, though, since he doesn't know who I am.
"I'm a Force user who sometimes helps them out," I answer, keeping it general. "We ran into each other recently so I thought I'd tag along. Taking out rogues is kind of my thing."
He bows slightly. "You help is appreciated..." he trails off, searching for a name.
"Rina," I supply, not using my current name in case he recognizes it.
"Rina," he finishes. "I have not heard of you before. Where do you hail?"
"I'm from Anthan Prime. I don't usually associate myself with the Jedi, so that's why you haven't heard of me." It's not a complete lie. Besides, the best lies are the ones seeded in truth.
"I am Master Ima-Gun Di. Welcome to my home planet of Kintan." He ushers us inside his red clay brick house, and inside I find it is much cooler than the outside climate. We crowd around a table where he has two papers laid out. "These are renditions of the rogues. The Kadas'sa'Nikto Is Klaatu, and the Kajain'sa'Nikto is Vizam. They are both very young and inexperienced, but also impressionable. They both are good with weapons and will not hesitate to fire. I don't want to harm them, but they must be captured and put into exile. The crimes they have committed here are unforgivable."
"Anything else we should know about them? What are they armed with? You say they're inexperienced, but how inexperienced?" A profile is starting to build up in my mind, the first steps to thinking of a plan to get them.
"Klaatu is good with fixing things. He's the technical one of the pair. Vizam is the fighter. He is skilled with the different gun and weapon types. He's the bigger threat, but do not underestimate Klaatu." Ima-Gun Di makes eye contact with us all, his gaze lingering extra-long on my eyes. He can't have missed the unmistakable Sith orange color. Other species have orange or red colored eyes, so maybe he thinks I'm a hybrid or not entirely Human. The Jedi may be fools, but they're not stupid. Especially not this one, it seems.
"What even did they do that was so bad?" Obi-Wan asks as we exit the little hut and board speeders.
"First they were petty thieves, but eventually they grew more powerful and starting robbing higher and higher risk targets. Then the killings started. They only ever killed in their own defense, but they still cannot be allowed here anymore. They're kids yet still, so we don't want to kill them."
"It always starts young," Qui-Gon remarks, a hint of regret in his voice. "If they go into exile, they'll only become thugs there."
"Then we'll place them somewhere that only thugs inhabit," Ima-Gun Di replies. "What matters is that we give them the opportunity and chance to change."
I find myself agreeing with his words. Darth Sidious had given me the opportunity to change myself, and I had. If it hadn't been for him I would have been long dead. Instead I'm powerful and feared, and I keep company with powerful people. If I can give others the power to change then I will. It's the least I can do.
"How far out is their outpost?" I question, leaning over the steering mechanism of my speeder. These things are fast, and Kintan is not an overly large planet. We've already passed several towns and even a city.
"Not too far from here," the native Jedi Master replies. He glances over at me. "Patience is not one of your better virtues."
Ouch. That stings a little bit. It's not like I don't know that. "Patience is slowness in battle, and being slower than your opponent is the easiest way to die. I am more of a fighter than a politician."
"That would explain why you are no Jedi," he muses. "The Jedi Order teaches a mix of combat and politics."
A small laugh escapes me. "There are many reasons why I am not a Jedi. That is one I've never even considered."
It is silent as he thinks over it, and I push my speeder just a tiny bit faster to be slightly ahead of the others. Ima-Gun Di will stop me when we get closer. For now, though, I want to be alone to enjoy the thrill of the speed and the feeling of the wind rushing through my hair and raising goosebumps across the surface of my skin. This is freedom, and this is what I live to feel. This is life, and I'm living it to the fullest.
I owe it to all the people I've left behind. I have to live life so I can tell Xavier and Lillea all about it when I see them again. I owe it to the little Twi'lek girl who died on Coruscant. I owe it to that man and his family stuck on Jakku. I owe it to Padmé Naberrie, whose life is short and bittersweet. I owe it to the slaves on Tatooine. If I wasted my life then it would be disrespectful to them, for they don't even get this chance. And I can't let that happen. I won't.
That is one reason I can never be a Jedi. The Jedi devote their lives to the Order, and that's a waste, in my opinion. Instead of abiding by strict rules and regulations I do whatever I want, wherever I want, with whomever I want. This is living, getting to choose what I do. I can chase down whatever dreams I want to, and even ones I don't want to. I get to make mistakes and have regrets, but in the end they're just all memories to look back on. Everything I do is experience to add on to my resumé, another story to one day tell my siblings. My journey has been a long and rough one, but also wild and free. I am who I am, and I am no one else. I don't let anyone define me, and that's why I am unique and different.
I am a Sith, but I do not conform to the Sith ways. I am a Force user, but I do not let the Force control me. I am not good, but I do not serve the side of evil.
And it's an interesting predicament my life is stuck in right now. On one hand I hear the Sith Lords of the past calling to me, my master included, all of them begging me to not waste my abilities and my training. On the other hand I hear my own consciousness telling me to do whatever I want with my life, to not waste it serving any master who doesn't have my best interests at heart.
I'm stuck in the middle of a raging war, and I have no one to help me fight it. The only way to avoid the headaches is to live in the now and try to block out everything else. Keeping focused on the task at hand is one way I know how to keep going.
And so keeping focused on the mission is what I will do.
Core Worlds Region, Coruscant Subsector, Corusca Sector, Unknown System, 47 BBY
My master is gone and has left me alone. He does this often, leaving me with a task or something to work on. He has political business, as he calls it, and I'm not ready to be in the real world again, even if it's been two years that I've trained. There's nothing for me out there yet, and I use the free time to hone my force abilities and to work on my fighting skills. It turns out the "little" home actually has an entire lower floor designed for combat training, all sorts of technology there to aid me.
I use an old red lightsaber my master left behind, but I do not like it much. It's too small, and I'm not always fast enough to wield it against the floating orbs that dart around me, their targets constantly moving. I need something more unique, but I do not know how to create my own. My master says one of the tests is to build one for myself, but how am I supposed to do that?
I spend the day searching the house for some simple tools, and then I start taking apart the old lightsaber, writing down everything and what I think it does. A whole notebook is dedicated to the cause. After an hour I finally reach the crystal in the center, the unnatural red bright and glaring. I'd never really liked red until I left Anthan Prime. Looking out of the starship's window at the quickly fading planet, I had seen that the whole thing was green and blue. Ever since then I'd despised those colors, since they remind me too much of that horrible place.
Even now I'm not a huge fan of the color red, but it's different and symbolic. It represents the rage and anger I put into my training, the madness and harshness of the real world. I rise above my problems and I use my emotions to fuel my power, and I feel like red represents all of that. It makes me proud to use a red lightsaber now.
An idea pops into my mind as I gently remove the crystal. Looking back over my notes, I make some quick calculations and rip out another sheet of paper to do some planning on. Then I get up and scan the training room for some of the old staffs I'd learned combat on first before moving to the actual lightsaber. Taking two of those, I find some other materials and fuse the two ends together to make one long staff. Then I begin the simulation again, this time using my new wooden staff. The reach is extended greatly, and the balance is better for my preference. I can hit the orbs better and more accurately, and I find a sort of gracefulness in twirling the weapon around my body with my hand grip in the middle. It allows for a speed I hadn't been able to use before, and I find rhythm in this deadly dance.
I set up a new simulation and begin, making deft and quick blows as I spin the staff around, my feet moving expertly and my wrist barely applying any pressure but still delivering fatal blows. The weapon and I are one, and I find it is much more fun than the regular lightsaber.
Another thought occurs to me and I take two more regular-lengthened staffs, wielding one in each hand as I reset the simulation and start again. Like the previous time, I feel more freedom and more power in using two weapons instead of one. I can block and spin and lunge faster than before. I'll bet I'm even more deadly with these two wooden staffs than with one regular lightsaber.
Putting the staffs down and rushing back to my notes, I scribble more designs down. The rest of my afternoon is spent laboring over the drawings and the calculations. Once an idea hits me, you can't stop me.
The entire night is spent up, still working. Once the designs are finished and perfected, I spend an hour searching the house for the materials I need. I use many of the materials from the old lightsaber, mixing it with new ones. Then I begin assembling my new weapon.
Before dawn but early in the morning, I am frustrated to find that only one piece is missing from my creation. I am one crystal short from my beautiful weapon. My master doesn't keep spare crystals around, but that's the only thing left I need. Now I can't ever get one until he gets back, and I don't how long he'll be away!
Despair hits me, and I collapse my head in my hands, exhausted and frustrated. I had been doing so well until now. All my training had made me feel powerful and strong, but in this moment I had failed. I had failed myself.
Unless... A daring thought occurs in the new part of my brain that had only been developing since I had started my apprenticeship. What if I sneak out and go get a lightsaber crystal? If I'm quick my master will never notice my absence!
The plan is flawless except for one factor - the only red lightsaber crystals in Coruscant would be stored in the Jedi Treasury. Am I ready for a stunt as big as breaking into the Jedi stronghold? Especially since I currently don't have a working weapon.
The debate rages on in my head for the better part of an hour before I finally stand up, knowing this is a terrible idea. I just can't stand the look of disappointment my master will have on his face if I don't finish this, though. Either I die today or I'm going to finish this weapon.
This is a chance to prove my strength and my dedication, and I'm going to prove it, if it's the last thing I do. I made a promise to my master to do anything and everything to become what I want to be, and I'm not going to let him down. I don't let people down.
Unknown Territory, Unknown Sector, Kintan System, 39 BBY
The outpost is in front of us. The four of us slow our speeders down, levitating over the dusty ground a mile away. This is a capture mission, so hopefully we won't need to pull our lightsabers. And by we I mean me, since I don't want to get Obi-Wan or Qui-Gon in trouble for hanging out with someone from the dark side. As much as I love my baby, his red coloring is too obvious.
Qui-Gon must sense my direction of thoughts, for he says, "Obi-Wan and I will go in first. We'll take the hits and hopefully take out the guns. You two can move in after us and clean up."
The pair zooms off towards the outpost. Ima-Gun Di and I wait a few seconds before taking off after them. As we get closer we see the blaster shots from a mounted gun firing off. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon zig-zag on their speeders to avoid getting hit and the shots fire uselessly into the ground, a cloud of dust and dirt poofing up in a mini-mushroom cloud. We do the same, but a few seconds after the other two Jedi disappear into the outpost the mounted gun blows up, leaving us to avoid debris instead of blaster shots. I push my speed a little faster and enter into the narrow opening with Ima-Gun close on my heels.
We see where the other Jedi had parked their speeders and we park next to them, jumping off and running towards the sound of gunfire. As we run into the huge room the blasts stop, and we're greeted with an unusual sight.
The two native Niktos are standing on opposite ends of the room, the green one behind the controls of some mechanical device and the red one behind two blasters which are gripped tightly in his hand. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are caught in a metal net that is hanging off the ceiling. With a start I realize the entrance to the room must have been booby-trapped. Which means Ima-Gun Di and I might be standing on a rigged device also...
"Watch your feet," I shout to him in warning as he continues forward, his lightsaber about to be activated. It's too late. He hits a trip wire with his shins and an entire strip of the floor gives out under him before Klaatu hits a button on his panel, sending a metal grate to cover to hole and prevent his escape.
"Foolish Jedi," Vizam says, slurring the words together as if his mouth can't open more than a millimeter.
"Can't argue with you on that one," I reply, my eyes flicking from my feet to the rogues. It's a dangerous dance, looking for any signs of a trap while keeping up a conversation and possibly fighting. But if anyone is up to the challenge, it's me. "Unfortunately for you, though, I'm no Jedi."
Klaatu's black eyes narrow as I step over a section of the floor that looks a slightly different color. His reaction assures me that I had just avoided a trap. It's good to know he's not a great actor.
"Jedi or not, I will not let you capture us," Vizam continues. "We've come too far."
"Not far enough," I answer, still tentatively stepping forward. It's slow progress and tedious, and once again I'm reminded of how little patience I have. All my muscles are tense, ready to fling myself into battle, but I can't do that here. "You should have left the planet while you had the chance."
"This is our home. We have nowhere else to go," Klaatu speaks up from behind his panel. He's watching my feet intensely, ready for me to make a mistake and fall into one of his traps.
"There are plenty of places for people you like to go to. I can think of two off the top of my head." I take a deep breath before jumping a few feet forward to pass a whole group of floor panels that look like they could be rigged. "We're not here to kill you. We're just going to put you in exile."
"This is our home," Vizam insists. "We will not have outsiders like you removing us!" He raises his blaster and fires, and I drop to the floor to avoid getting hit before rolling into a crouched position. I raise one hand and fling one of his guns to the side. It hits a trap and that part of the floor sets itself on fire.
"You know, when I was young I hated my home planet. I still hate it. There's a whole galaxy to be explored. I don't know why you want to stay here so badly." Standing up, I continue to get closer. Originally I wanted to release the net Obi-Wan and Qui-Gonn are tangled in, but I don't want to risk them landing all over the triggered floor and dying that way. It seems like I'm it. Maybe I can still capture this duo without getting my lightsaber out.
Pausing, I go over my options. Klaatu would be easier to capture, but Vizam would protect him. Vizam is harder to fight, but Klaatu might either flee or spring a surprise on me. It seems like I'll have to take on both of them.
I push out my hand, using the Force to send Vizam flying backward into the wall. Then I use a Force jump to leap from the middle of the room to land on Klaatu's power panel. My feet and weight destroy the mechanisms, random traps setting off. The grate over Ima-Gun Di's pit slides halfway open.
Before I can jump off the panel I hear a noise and feel something burning bury itself into my shoulder. I whirl around to see Vizam back on his feet, firing his blaster. He'd hit me. The shock numbs the worst of the pain, but it still hurt to move. Jumping down from the panel I hit the floor and backhand Klaatu, sending him onto the floor in pain. Vizam is still shooting crazily, and in the heat of the moment I whip out my lightsaber and use the red blades to block the blaster shots. Klaatu struggles to his feet, and I punch him in the face hard enough to knock him out. With him out of the way, I sprint over the top of the control panel and launch myself toward Vizam. I use my free hand to summon the Force to fling his remaining blaster away and then grab the back of his head, bringing it down to slam against my knee as hard as I can. He also is rendered unconscious.
With the immediate threat out of the way, I cut down the metal net, using the Force to lower it down gently and slowly so Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are not squished or harmed. Then I retract my lightsaber and hook it back onto my belt before turning to find Ima-Gun Di.
He's right there, his blue lightsaber pointed right in my face. His eyes are narrowed, his face hard. I realize my mistake. He had seen my weapon and figured out who I am.
"Sith," he accuses, and I sigh in frustration. I had saved his life and his friends' lives, but all he can think about is the color of my weapon? Do my actions mean nothing?
"Yeah, and so what?" I spread my hands out. "Why does it matter? I saved you."
"You lied to me," he continues. "Your name isn't Rina. It's Minerva. I had my suspicions from the moment I saw you."
Qui-Gon appears at Ima-Gun Di's side and he lays a gentle hand on his arm that is holding the lightsaber. "Peace, friend. She means us no harm."
The Nikto Jedi gives him a disgusted expression. "I can't believe you let her manipulate you. I thought you were wiser, Qui-Gon. It seems even the best of us are not below this."
"He has nothing to do with this," I say, exasperated. "I'm different than the other Sith. I don't hurt innocent people, and I don't kill Jedi."
"You mean to tell me you've never hurt an innocent person before? You've never killed someone in cold blood?" His accusations are not wrong, and we all know it. I lower my head in defeat. "I know about the massacre of the Tarkins on Eriadu. I've heard about the boy on Coruscant. Those are just two of the known times. There are dozens of others whose bodies are credited to you. Anyone who gets in your way is slaughtered. You are no different than the others. All Sith are the same."
Even Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan look at me differently as they hear the names of those I killed spoken aloud. They must have known, though. All this time, they must have known that the Sith training and initiation isn't innocent. The baggage I carry around is heavy and dark, and they should have known. Their expressions make me die inside as the only friends I have - have ever had - are turning away from me in front of my very eyes.
Ima-Gun Di senses my surrender and he lowers his lightsaber. "Leave this planet. If I ever see you again, I will kill you. And take those rogues with you. They belong with your kind." He turns away and leaves, leaving me standing shaken and silently. His words shouldn't hurt so much but they do, they bury into my skin and tear me apart.
Slowly and mechanically I move around the mess of the room, tying up Klaatu and Vizam and dumping them on the back of my speeder. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan still stand in the room, having some kind of silent and borderline telepathic conversation. I leave them behind and I kick start my vehicle and go as fast as I can back to my ship. Several times I'm tempted to go straight into a tree.
I park the speeder by my ship and load up the two rogues. KZ-4 notices my dark mood and he keeps quiet. By the way he scans the area I can tell he also notices the lack of Jedi.
"They're not dead," I inform him shortly. "We're just not going to see them anymore."
As I return to take the speeder back to the town the two Jedi ride up. They stop in front of me, pulling down their hoods to talk. Even as Qui-Gon opens his mouth I wave him into silence, speaking first. "I know. I'm leaving now, and I'll make sure to stay far away. I'm sorry you guys are in trouble because of me."
Qui-Gon seems a little shocked at my apology. I am a Sith, afterall. Apologies are not my thing. The fact that I'm saying one now...it means a lot, and we all know it.
"Minerva, it's...it's not your fault," Obi-Wan says, struggling over the words.
"Isn't it? I chose to become a Sith, and I have to take responsibilities for my actions, whether I like it or not. We can't work together because of who we are. It's all my fault for becoming this."
"You're not a bad person, though!" the young Jedi exclaims. "He just doesn't understand you like we do."
His words touch me in a good way, but I can't dwell on it. This goodbye is hard as it is, and I can't make things harder. Being around Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had changed me in a positive way, and I'm not sure I can go back to who I was before. "No one understands me. No matter what I do or what I say, in the eyes of the Jedi I will always be a murderer and a source of evil. My past mistakes can never leave me. People look at me and see a Sith, and it will be like that until the day I die." My words shut them up, sending a solemn mood over the group. They know I am right. Revan was the only Force user to ever master both the dark sides and the light sides of the Force, and everyone except him is either light or dark. Good or bad. You can go from the light side to the dark side, but you cannot go back once you've been tempted by the dark side. It takes ahold of you and doesn't ever let you go.
"I don't see you as a Sith," Obi-Wan remarks quietly. "I see my friend, and I see a strong and brave person." He leans forward and embraces me, and I accept the hug.
"Thank you," I whisper in his ear. He steps back and Qui-Gon gives me a parting hug also.
"Take care of yourself," the Jedi Master says. "I will miss your companionship."
"You should be the one taking care of yourself," I reply, trying to keep a light tone. "I've saved you guys so many times."
They manage small smiles. "And don't be hard on your droid, either," Qui-Gon adds as he boards his speeder. "I don't want to have to rescue him from a trash compactor."
They speed away, leaving me standing in a wake of dust. As it settles I still stand there, watching their faint forms fading away. The sun is high, and the day is not old yet. It seems too bright and cheery for having just lost my friends and the only two people in this galaxy that I trust. KZ-4 beeps mournfully, and I finally head back to the starship.
When I sit in the cockpit I feel my hands clench into fists. Anger fills me suddenly, hot and red. The unfairness of it all hits me in a wave. All I ever wanted was to be strong, but it seems in becoming powerful I must lose everyone who means anything to me. By following my aspirations I am forced to live a lonely life.
Pain replaces the anger and the tension in my muscles melt away, leaving me to slump deeper into the leather seat. I had made this choice years ago, and I had always known my life wouldn't be easy. I just didn't think it would be this hard. You can only take so much hardship before the burden on your back starts to crush you.
"Let's drop these criminals, KZ," I say, my voice quiet and melancholy. "Then we'll find somewhere the Jedi would never go."
He beeps sadly. "No. We really won't ever see them again. We can't."
I can't.