Disclaimer: All rights belong to Disney, George Lucas, and all the men and women that created the Star Wars movies, books, and comics. I take no credit, and I do not mean to break any copyright rules. This is simply a work of fiction made for enjoyment. No money is being made. The cover art image belongs to peanutbutterroastedchestnuts. tumblr .com (remove the spaces)
Rating: T for violence, disturbing imagery, and dark themes
Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait! I just came back from visiting family and I had no way of updating. Anyway, I think you will find this chapter brings things full-circle :) There are about ten more chapters before the story is over.
Chapter 19
Mid Rim Region, Quelii Sector, Dathomir System, 39 BBY
The walk back to my starship is melancholy, my steps slow and even, my breaths deep and filling. The world around me seems strangely acute, as if my mind knows the decision I've made and it has decided to pay special attention to my surroundings. A last taste of the world. Deep down I know this is the last time I'll ever come to Dathomir.
My droid senses my mood change as I approach the ship. He beeps out softly, and I longingly run a hand over his smooth green dome. He instantly notices the unusual compassion and hums under my touch. "Yeah, KZ. Things are going to change."
He sends me a series of noises, clearly worried. "I've finally found my purpose," I assure him. "It's not a bad thing, but you're not going to like it. I'm going to challenge my master."
KZ-4 beeps out shrilly. "I know it's suicide. Trust me, I've thought about this thoroughly. But it's the right decision. I have to do this."
He shakes his dome side to side quickly. I turn to go climb into the cockpit when he suddenly starts booping excitedly. I look back to see him streaming a holo message of a small male figure. "Who's that from? Is it...Isaiah?"
The little boy I'd rescued on Tatooine from Jabba the Hutt months ago is sending me a message? But why? I'd thought he understood we were done once we parted ways. I continue watching the hologram version of him, and at the frantic look in his eyes and in his gestures I know something is wrong. Horribly wrong.
The Sith in me wants nothing more than to turn a cold shoulder at the plea for help, but that part of me no longer holds any power. The part of me that had decided to save him in the first place had grown attached to him in the few hours I had known him, and that part doesn't hesitate to take action.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" I ask, loading in my MagnaGuard fighter. "Let's go to Bespin."
Outer Rim Territories, Anoat Sector, Bespin System, 39 BBY
I land in the same place as before, but this time I help KZ-4 down so he can accompany me to go see Isaiah. My time left with my droid is limited, and I want to spend as much of it with him as possible.
The mood in the city is not good. The clouds in the sky seem a dark shade of grey and shadows cover everything. Few people are walking about, and even they are walking quickly with their heads down.
The mansion Isaiah lives in is dark and seemingly abandoned. I don't even bother with knocking as I instead burst through the double-doors, taking the steps two at a time as I race up to the balcony where I had last seen Isaiah. The glass doors to the outside are shut, but he stands in front of them, his eyes glued to the gathering storm outside and his fingers pressed lightly against the clear substance. He turns around slowly at my entrance, and when he sees it's me he walks lethargically in my direction.
"They're gone," he whispers, his voice choked up with emotion as he wraps his arms around my waist. His head buries in my stomach, and I hesitantly hold him tight, understanding the need a child has for affectionate touch but not being entirely comfortable with being the one giving it.
"What happened?" I say quietly, feeling as though it would be wrong to speak loud in the empty house. KZ-4 nudges my leg lightly as if reassuring me that I'm doing the right thing.
"He took them. This guy came and took them like I was taken." Isaiah sobs.
"Did they say anything?" I ask, putting my fingers under his chin to gently point his face upwards so that I'm looking him in the eyes. There's no time for grieving. If I'm going to save his family then I need to get on with it.
"He said to call you," the little boy chokes out. "I don't know why, but I did. Only you can rescue them."
A bad feeling rises in the pit of my stomach. "Was it an old man in black robes?"
He shakes his head. "No. He's was younger. I don't know who he was, but rumor has it he has taken other political hostages, too. He said he was taking them to Thisspias."
Strange how this man, however he was - most likely a bounty hunter - told Isaiah all of this. He must be a rookie in way over his head. Or it's a trap. Either way, I can't just walk away from all this. I push the suspicions back and kneel down to Isaiah's level.
"I'm going to find your parents. I promise. I always keep my promises. Do you trust me?" He nods, a few tears slipping down his cheeks. "Good. You're a strong boy, Isaiah. Can you be stronger for just a little while more?" He nods again. "Now, it might take some time before I find them. Do you have a neighbor or a friend you can stay with until your parents return?"
"My friend lives next door," he says, wiping his face with the back of his hand. "I'll go over there."
"Isaiah…" I start to say, my words trailing off. "Sometimes bad things happen in life. You can't let them get to you, though. You have to rise above them and be strong even if you don't feel strong. You can't make decisions you'll regret later just because you're feeling crappy at the moment. It's better to be patient and wait."
Why am I telling him this? It has nothing to do with what's going on, and if anything, I'm wasting time that I could be spending rescuing his parents. I guess I just feel like it's important he hears what I have to say. There's no one else to pass what little wisdom I have on to.
"Will I ever see you again?" he asks, his eyes hopeful. He reminds me of Xavier in a way. So young and innocent and full of hope...
"No," I answer. "Probably not. But you will see your parents. I swear on it." He embraces me again, and this time I accept it. "Now go run along to your friend's house."
"I'll always remember you as my dark defender," he promises me before he runs off. His words sound so familiar as they echo in my mind. My thoughts are interrupted by KZ-4 beeping at me.
"Thisspias, right." I say, standing up and taking off at a sprint towards my starship, my droid wheeling behind frantically to try and keep up.
Unknown Region, Unknown Sector, Thisspias System, 39 BBY
KZ-4 uses his scanning technology to scan the planet as we fly over, and he finds a location that is suspiciously lighting up like a beacon. It practically screams "POLITICAL PRISONERS". This bounty hunter, whoever he is, really must be a rookie. Maybe I'll catch him and teach him a lesson while he's young enough to learn better.
Unless it's a trap. Those suspicious thoughts nag at me until I push them away for good and focus on my task.
Setting down about a mile away, KZ-4 and I make the trek through the sparse and warm clearing. This planet is warm year-round, but not hot and sandy like Jakku or Tatooine. The inhabitants are snake-like in the way that they are warm-blooded, making it necessary that their planet is warm. Otherwise they'd all freeze.
It's a cavern carved out into the cliff face, but it's not a cave. Instead it has elaborate designs and is clean and cool as if it was once a palace or owned by rich nobles years ago and recently re-inhabited. My feet are silent as I enter, leaving KZ-4 to keep guard near the entrance. As far as I know it's the only way in.
The lighting is steady and bright, leading me through twists and turns in hallways adorned with rich carpets and furniture. Tapestries depicting history line the walls. It's a really nice place, but I can sense that something is wrong. It's the vibe I'm getting from the political prisoners, of course.
There's a dark hallway lined with shadows right next to an open room. I slip into the dark hallway, blending into the darkness as I scan the room. There are a dozen senators and their spouses trussed up in the middle, but no bounty-hunter. Where is he?
Isaiah's parents are in the middle, and to my relief they are unharmed. In fact, no one here is injured or hurt in the least. This makes my job easier. It feels too easy, though, as if I had just walked into an elaborate trap. Maybe this bounty hunter is better than I'm giving him credit for.
I continue to sneak around the corridors and hallways, but all I'm getting is the same consistent bad feeling as though something is amiss. One time I even hear a noise behind me only to turn and see nothing. This is really unnerving me, and soon even the sound of my own footfalls is making me jump.
There's no bounty hunter to be seen. Giving up, I march back to the main room to go release the prisoners. Maybe he'll only show up when I take action.
The senators look worried when I first approach, but I march straight over to Isaiah's parents, ripping the gags out of their mouths. I hadn't given it a single thought that maybe they'd only remember me as a Sith and not as the woman who'd saved their son.
Isaiah's mother scoots backwards, fear in her eyes. "It's you!" she cries, and suddenly I hear something from the shadows. Cloaked figures jump out, their dark brown robes unmistakable. Then they draw their green and blue lightsabers, and the situation is even more obvious.
The Jedi have finally come after me. I stand up quickly, stepping away from the senators. A few of the Jedi Knights put away their weapons to help the people escape, and I draw my my red lightsaber, keeping a defensive stance. There are about a half-dozen of them, many of them recognizable.
The one that steps forward first has the all-too-familiar purple weapon. It reflects on his dark skin.
"Mace Windu," I say, drawing out his name. "What brings me this pleasure?" My sarcasm is not lost on any of them. Beside the Jedi Master, one of the others reaches back to pull away her hood. It's Depa Billaba, and she looks fiercer than ever.
"How could you do this?" she demands. "These people did nothing to harm you!"
What? No, this is all a misunderstanding. I didn't touch those people. I came here to rescue them, same as they did.
"I just arrived here!" I exclaim. "One of their sons contacted me to come and get them. You've got it all wrong."
"Funny, since we have witnesses saying they saw a black-robed figure with a red lightsaber in hand," Oppo Rancisis, a Thisspias native Jedi, says. "Who else could that have been? You're the only Sith not in hiding."
There it is. My master had made the final move. He'd hired someone to kidnap Isaiah's parents and then dress like me and kidnap the others, making it seem as though I had done the dirty deed. Then he had made sure I would be here just in time to get caught by the Jedi, who he had undoubtedly tipped off.
He really is brilliant. Brilliant and cruel. By setting this into motion he's guaranteeing that either the Jedi will kill me or that I will be angry and upset enough to track him down and attempt to kill him instead. He's cornered me again. He really does know me better than I had thought.
"It's a trap," I try to explain. "An elaborate ruse. I've been framed!"
Of course they don't believe me. I've never given them a reason to. One of the Jedi near the back steps forward to reveal himself. "Don't listen to her. She's a manipulator." It's Quinlan Vos. And here I had thought we'd left things off on a good note.
"You can't hold that against me," I snap at him. "You were going to kill me in cold blood. I did what I had to."
"She's lying," he hisses, lunging forward with his green lightsaber. "That's all you do! You lie and you hurt people." Jeez, someone's salty today. He's probably been having nightmares confirming my vision of him going to the dark side and he, of course, blames me for it. He seriously needs to see someone for his anger issues.
"At least I've accepted my fate," I reply, easily parrying his thrust. "Maybe you should do the same." I know this isn't helping my cause, but I know the Jedi don't believe me anyway. They won't ever believe me. I'm going to have to fight my way out of this. And it's not like I have to worry about them chasing me; I'll be going straight to Moraband to challenge my master, and the chances of me returning aren't likely.
Quinlan swings his blade up from underneath, and I jump up, bringing my lightsaber behind my back to throw down with lots of momentum. It clashes against his green blade and he throws me off, but I flip in the air as I jump, landing in a crouched position. "Is that all you've got?" I taunt, knowing it'll set him off.
He doesn't attack alone this time. Depa Billaba rushes forward to join him, and I stand to better fend off the two of them. Both sides of my lightsaber swing up to intercept their attacks, and though I'm better than either of them, the combined attack keeps me from advancing too quickly. Not to mention that even if I manage to take out both of them I still have to fight Mace Windu and Oppo Rancisis.
Spinning and twirling, my robes flying up from the ground and floating, I can only imagine I look like an angel of death. My orange eyes are glowing with the thrill of battle and my red lightsaber gives a crimson shadow as it flows through the air and collides with the Jedi weapons. This is my area of expertise, this art of battle. I've trained for ten years to perfect my form and my attacks, and my style is original enough that the Jedi haven't trained against it. In every way I am superior. If I wanted to kill Depa and Quinlan I could easily do so, but I don't want to hurt them. The only person I want to kill is my master, and killing these Jedi will only make me hate myself more. They're just doing their jobs, and I'm unfortunately stuck at the other end.
That being said, fending them off with still controlling my attacks so I don't kill them is increasingly difficult. I don't want them to kill me, either. My dance is tight and quick, but there are two of them and they aren't holding anything back.
I throw out my free arm to fling Quinlan into the wall with the Force and I flip off one of my blades so I can knock Depa out with the butt of it. She falls to the floor and I sprint away, hearing Mace and Oppo taking flight after me. I'm considerably more worried about them than I was with the other two Jedi. These two are Masters, and I might not be able to hold them off without harming either of them.
They catch up to me just as I'm exiting the cavern. The dusty ground is loose under my feet, and keeping my balance will be more of a challenge here. At least I know ahead of time while the two Jedi Masters will come running out with no idea. If I can trip them up in the beginning...They come running out not long after, and I sweep my lightsaber under their legs, forcing them to jump. When they fall their feet slip out from under them, and both of them hit the ground face-first. I jump over them and put my lightsabers out, tucking the handle into my belt and beginning to scale the cliff quickly.
Mace is up faster than I would have given him credit for. He starts following me, his purple lightsaber still out and ready to finish the job. Great. I knew he had never liked me but I didn't think he'd try to kill me. Seems to be a theme among the Jedi.
My hand slips as the rock underneath it crumbles and I lose that grip. With three of my limbs hanging in thin air, Mace has an open shot at me. With a groan, I wrench my arm up, catching another grip. The strain hurts my weak wrist but I continue forward, seeing the edge of the cliff coming up. I have maybe ten feet left.
Disaster strikes at that moment. My lightsaber tumbles out of my belt and falls, hitting Mace on the way down. He looks over his shoulder to see my weapon tumbling down, and a triumphant smile graces his face. "Game over," he says. "Give it up."
Nope. Not when I'm this close to fulfilling my life's purpose. They won't catch me. I won't let them. With a deep breath, I launch myself off the side of the cliff face, flying down to the ground towards my lightsaber. When I hit the ground I absorb the impact evenly with a roll, coming up and throwing my hand out to summon my lightsaber towards me.
There's nothing. It doesn't fly into my open and outstretched palm. Snapping my head up, I see Oppo Rancisis holding my lightsaber tightly. He's staring at the name engraved into it.
"Thanatos?" he questions skeptically. "You named your lightsaber after the god of death?"
"I was eleven and impressionable," I answer with a sigh, standing up and walking towards him. "How about we end this with a real fight? Sith against Jedi. It will be legendary!" Maybe by convincing him of the glory of a fight he'll give me a chance to grab my lightsaber and run.
He shakes his head, his big white beard swaying. "Those are against my orders."
"So you'll kill me in cold blood? You're no better than me if you do that," I say, hoping that guilting him will help work out instead.
Again he shakes his head. "That is not the Jedi way." His voice is infuriatingly calm. Ugh. How do the Jedi live this way?
"Then what are you going to do with me?" I question, edging around him slightly. He doesn't seem to notice.
"We're taking you into Coruscant," he replies. His declaration confuses me but I push it to the side, making my move quickly. I snap my leg up, kicking the wrist that holds his lightsaber. He drops it and I summon it to me with the Force, holding it up to defend myself. Oppo is startled, and I use his hesitation to land another kick in his ribcage, pushing him back and onto the ground. I rush forward to grab my lightsaber, but I'm grabbed from behind, strong arms wrapping around my waist and throwing me backwards. Oppo's lightsaber tumbles out of my grip and disappears several feet away.
Mace points his purple lightsaber at me, an inch away from my neck. "It's over," he insists, his voice grave. Well, he's in for a surprise, because I'm not going to give up. It isn't my style.
I drop flat against the ground and roll to the side as far and as fast as I can before popping up and sprinting towards the area I had seen Oppo's lightsaber fly towards. Mace is in full pursuit, and I barely have time to reach down and scoop up the Jedi weapon before flicking it on and turning to face the Jedi again.
After using my specially crafted lightsaber for a decade, trying to fight with a normal one is a challenge. I'm still proficient at it, but I'm not smooth or graceful like with my normal one. This style is about brute strength and is made for slashing and stabbing while mine is styled for speed and long sweeps. And there's no way I can fight off two of them using this. Luckily Oppo is out of sight, and unless he wants to use my weapon, he's unarmed. The other two Jedi haven't emerged from the cavern yet.
I spin the lightsaber teasingly, ignoring the painful crack from my wrist. "Just you and me, huh?"
Mace narrows his eyes. "That lightsaber is unfit for you. You have lost all your advantages. Come quietly and you will be unharmed."
"Surrender isn't in my nature, sorry," I reply as we circle each other warily. "And you have no reason to harm me. I have not injured any of your Jedi past bruises and scrapes, yet you still continue to hunt me down. I am no threat, yet you proceed to brand me as a criminal with only circumstantial proof. Right now I'm purely on a defensive stand."
"Your very existence is a threat," he shoots back. "Quinlan has told us about how your master takes control of you."
"That happened, like, once," I say with a sigh. "I was lying to him about the other times."
"And you say we should trust you when you admit to things like that?"
I let down the lightsaber and with it my guard for a moment. Frustration colors my tone. "Look at my history! I don't kill people in cold blood without reason. I've never harmed a Jedi unless they attacked me first, and even then it was more of a discomfort."
"Are you denying the incident in Coruscant five years ago? The boy you stabbed dozens of times and then crudely signed your name in his blood to make sure we all knew it was your work? What reason did he give you to do that to him?" Mace's lightsaber shakes slightly, as if he's itching to fight but is holding back until he gets some solid answers.
Now it's my eyes that narrow. The memory comes back, and with it pain and regret. Strong and dangerous emotions, those are. "That was a mistake. I was young and emotional, and that boy...he was trying to take me from my master." It's the same lie Sidious had used to justify my actions, and I know it's wrong, but this is a subject that isn't meant to be brought up. It's a shaming moment in all sorts of different ways.
"We investigated it," Mace says, his voice with an edge to it. "He was a kind and hard-working kid who had a future planned out with the girl he loved. And you took that all away from him."
He doesn't know. None of the Jedi do. They don't know that I was the girl he loved, and that he never had a future with me. He was a distraction, a way to fend off the lonely hours. A way to feel wanted and accepted for once. At least that's what I tell myself to avoid the relentless guilt.
"Damari never had a chance at a future," I snap, my patience thin. This talking is just stalling, and we both know it. I'm done with stalling. I need to get out of here.
Unfortunately it seems I said too much. Mace Windu may not be the wisest of the Jedi, but he is smart. His face drops in realization. "You were the girl he loved...and you loved him back, so your master killed him and blamed it on you so that you would gain a reputation as a cruel Sith and you wouldn't be taken from him."
"No. I was the one who killed him." If he's going to try and figure it out I might as well correct him. "I pledged myself to the Sith ways, and I made a mistake. I had to fix it."
"So you killed an innocent boy instead of taking responsibility for your actions and your emotions," Mace sums up, his face contorting in anger and disgust again. "Sounds like killing someone in cold blood to me. Just the sort of thing a Sith would do."
"He knew who I was, and he knew the risk he was taking," I seethe, some of the stored anger leaking out. "He even told me it was okay to do what I had to do."
Mace shakes his head. "So you decided you either had to kill him or leave your master. Total absolutes, just like every Sith."
"I am not just like every Sith!" I cry, my voice raising an octave. "How dare you stand there as if you're righteous and accuse me of all the bad things I've ever done! Do you ever look at the good things? Like how I saved a boy who'd been kidnapped as a political prisoner on Tatooine while you sat in your Council seat doing nothing? I saved a girl and her father on Naboo while you had no idea she was even in trouble. And who was there to stick up for that Twi'lek girl in the Underworld while thugs had been beating her to death? Not you!"
"You think a few good deeds can make up for all the damage you've done?" he shouts. "You are just like every Sith because you make excuses instead of taking responsibility. You think in absolutes and hurt people who get in your way. You lie and manipulate those who are trying to do good in the world, and you are a poison to those around you. Everyone you loved is dead, and you're the only thing any of them had in common. You are not worthy to walk on this ground or talk about doing good deeds. You are not worthy to say you are different than murderers or thieves or liars. You are the reason good people die early, and you are who parents warn their children about at night. You are the lowest scum the universe has to offer!"
His last declaration causes me to charge with a deranged cry. His accusations aren't true. His words are lies. He's a liar. He is manipulating me. He can't be right. I am not those things. I am not a bad per-
No. If he had been lying then I wouldn't be feeling this rage. By reacting I am proving that he did tell the truth and that I am all those terrible things and more. Deep down I know it's true. I just can't accept it.
Our lightsabers collide, the green of the one I'm wielding against the purple of Mace's. He pushes, his strength greater than mine. My muscles tense in resistance but he pushes the crossed lightsabers closer and closer, forcing me onto my knees and then onto the ground. A scream rips from my throat as I try in vain to push back, but I only gain a few inches before he is putting all his weight on it. I'm laying on the ground now, barely keeping the weapons from burning me. They hover a centimeter from my face, and it takes all of my effort to keep them from killing me.
"That's enough," a voice says, and I see Oppo lay a hand on Mace's shoulder. "She is beaten. We'll take her in now."
No. It can't be over. I won't let it be. With a cry of rage, I let go of the lightsaber in my hand, hoping Mace's momentum and my lack of resistance causes the blades to press into my neck and finish me off. It's a wasted sacrifice, yes, but I will not be captured by the Jedi. Death is preferable.
Something painful hits me, and everything goes black.