Disclaimer: All rights belong to Disney, George Lucas, and all the men and women that created the Star Wars movies, books, and comics. I take no credit, and I do not mean to break any copyright rules. This is simply a work of fiction made for enjoyment. No money is being made. The cover art image belongs to peanutbutterroastedchestnuts. tumblr .com (remove the spaces)
Rating: T for violence, disturbing imagery, and dark themes
Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait! I'll try to be more consistant from now on. Hope you enjoy this chapter!
Chapter 20
Core Worlds Region, Coruscant Subsector, Corusca Sector, Unknown System, 39 BBY
I'm shaken awake roughly just as the starship lands outside of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. A quick check shows they've completely disarmed me, and my hands are tied together in front of me to keep me from using the Force or from fighting them. Four hooded Jedi flank me and Mace Windu leads the way as they lead me into the Temple.
My suicide attempt had failed. Apparently Depa and Quinlan had showed up just in time to Force-summon the lightsabers to them and pull Mace away, also managing to knock me out at the same time. They really do want me alive, it seems. My master must be disappointed that I had been so close to death and still spared.
My eyes glow with hate but I managed to shrug my black hood up to hide my face and my humiliation. My body trembles with energy that isn't spent, and thoughts of escape are running through my mind. I see my lightsaber hanging from Mace's belt, and I know if I can loosen the hasty bounds on my hands then I can summon my weapon to me and fight my way out. Unfortunately they're watching my every move, and even a twitch of my hands are noted. The anticipation is killing me, and it seems as if they're parading me around like their prize horse.
The Jedi really are not all they're cracked up to be. Deep down they're prideful and bitter. Foolish and cruel. I won't let them get to me, though; I keep my dignity my holding my chin up and walking confidently, my silence infuriating them.
Finally I speak. "Are you going to give me a chance to prove my innocence?" It's a civil and calm inquiry, and it makes one of my guards stomp a little. I have a sneaking suspicion of who it is.
Mace turns to glare at me. "You were going to kill yourself to evade capture. That seems pretty guilty to me."
"I did everything in my power to evade capture because the Jedi are foolish and I knew you would never see me as more than a Sith. I'm not a person to you, I'm an enemy." My voice remains level despite my tense body yearning for action.
"You don't trust any of us - which is the way it should be - but that leaves you out options for a situation like this. None of us trust you, either. No one here has a good word to say about you. So will you tell me your ingenious plan to prove your innocence?"
"I was on Dathomir studying the ways of the Force to improve my power when those people were kidnapped. You can go there and ask them, but I don't think you will. You wouldn't believe the word of a witch. You can question my droid, but you would assume I tampered with him to force him to say what I want him to say. That leaves me only one choice."
"You are correct. What is this final choice of yours?" he asks suspiciously.
"Qui-Gon Jinn will vouch for my innocence." It's a bold claim, but I trust him to tell the truth. He can make it sound like he hates me, I don't care, but I know he is a man of the truth and he would tell them he doesn't believe I have it in me to kidnap those people.
"Master Jinn happens to be on a mission in the Outer Reaches and it is unknown when he will return. For your sake, you better have another way out of this."
What else? Or, rather, who else? My mind spins as I try and consider who would know me well enough. Who do I trust?
Only one other name comes to mind. "Is Obi-Wan with his master? He would also validate my claim."
"Obi-Wan is here at the present moment," Mace replies, motioning us forward. We start moving again, and I feel like a cattle being herded around. "If he speaks well of you, you will be released. If not, you will be interrogated and kept here."
Relief floods me, and I quietly let out a previously held breath. Obi-Wan will tell the truth about me, and his word will set me free. Though we are separated, now and forever, we are still friends, and I still trust him. We hadn't parted out of enmity but out of necessity. I remember his words clearly: "You're not a bad person, though! He just doesn't understand you like we do." Obi-Wan himself had even admitted that the other Jedi don't see in me what he and Qui-Gon do. And if there had been any doubt about our parting status, he had cleared it up simply: "I don't see you as a Sith. I see my friend, and I see a strong and brave person."
He will vouch for me. I know it to be true. He is my only hope left, and there is not a doubt in my mind as I am marched to the library, where I assume he is at the moment. The dark procession halts a few feet outside of the building, and a few moments later I see my friend being brought out, a puzzled look on his face. Mace is speaking to him in low tones, but he's not talking about me. He hasn't mentioned me, not yet. It's a wise move; they're looking for his first reaction at seeing me.
Mace brings him over to stand in front of me, and two of my guides step back. Now I'm only held by two of them. My eyes flicker over to my lightsaber on Mace's belt. No, I don't need to plan for that now. Obi-Wan's word will set me free without conflict.
He looks straight at me and one of the guards pull my hood off roughly. Underneath, my hair is messy and wild, but my eyes glow out, bright and familiar. There's recognition in his eyes as he stares at me, his blue ones so familiar and welcoming. A friend among a pit of snakes.
"She was caught holding political prisoners on Thisspias," Mace explains, loud enough so that we can all hear him. "She claims she is innocent, and that you would put in a good world for her."
With my chin lifted high and my eyes focused on him, I know I look as confident and put together as ever despite how emotional and messy I had been yesterday during the duel with the Jedi. Ugly truths had been revealed that afternoon, but I've shoved them all down to unleash only when I'm ready to challenge my master.
Obi-Wan is silent for the longest time, his young features showing no emotion but his eyes telling a much different story. There is much conflict in him, and anyone with even the faintest connection to the force can tell he's indecisive about what he's going to say. I don't have any doubts, though; he is just trying to figure out how to word it. I know that by mentioning his name he might get in trouble, but it will all blow away after I challenge my master on Moraband and my death or victory will prove my change of heart.
"Well?" Mace demands. "Do you know her?"
"I know of her," Obi-Wan replies. "I met her in this very temple eight years ago. She was stealing a red crystal from the treasury to build her lightsaber." He trails off, still conflicted.
"And?"
"She...she lied to my master and I. She said she was a poor girl living in the Underworld and that she needed to crystal to trade for food. Then when we went to bring her in for questioning she fended us off and ran."
What? Why is telling this story? My face drops in shock, and from his obvious swallow I can tell he notices. "That was eight years ago," I say slowly, still stunned. "What about everything since then?"
"Several weeks ago my master and I were tracking a bounty hunter on Hoth. He had captured her and was planning on trading her life for his, but we attacked him before he could make a deal. She stole my Tauntaun and left, leaving us to fend the bounty hunter off alone. He had the Heart of the Guardian and the Mantle of the Force to aid him. We had saved her."
He doesn't even look me in the eye anymore, and I feel my heart drop to a bottomless abyss. My face clams up, level and calm, as the full force of the betrayal hits me. It takes a while for my brain to comprehend how utterly I'd been backstabbed. For a few minutes everything is numb, and then suddenly my vision is red and my blood is rushing and pain erupts, pain like I hadn't felt since Damari.
"I trusted you," I say softly, my voice like a pin drop. That pin then shatters against the ground and with it, all the good I had been working on since I had come into contact with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. It all leaves me, and only my famous Sith rage is left. All pretenses of calm drop away, and my face contracts in anger. I throw myself forward, trying to get out of the clutches of the cursed Jedi who hold me back. "I trusted you!" I scream, thrashing and kicking, ripping myself away from one of the guards - only to be held tightly by another one. "You betrayed me!"
"Take her away," Mace orders, but I'm not done yet. I want Obi-Wan to know just how badly he hurt me. I want him to feel the same pain of guilt as I had when I had stabbed Damari. Only this time there's no one to wipe his memory. He'll have to live with it his entire life, knowing he damned me in order to save his name.
"You're worse than my father and my master," I hiss under my breath, and his eyes shoot up to meet mine for the last time, pain evident in them. He doesn't say anything, though, holding stubbornly to his silence. That one last look is enough to convince me that my work is done; he knows exactly how deep his betrayal goes.
After that, though, I lose all the fight left in me. Now that I've finally been betrayed by everyone who I ever loved or cared for, and now that I've hurt them all in return, I don't feel like fighting anymore. Life doesn't hold any meaning.
All that inspiration to challenge my master...it just evaporates. I'm just going to die, anyway. Part of the reason I had wanted to duel him was to prove to the world, to the Jedi, to Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon especially that I had truly changed. By dying trying to bring him down I would be proving that I am a decent person and not evil.
That's all changed, though. Obi-Wan openly lied - no, not lied; avoided liberating truths and produced damning evidence - about my character. The Jedi listened to him, and they now think I'm just like every other Sith. And the world? What do I owe them? They never gave me anything kind or even warm. Why should I have to prove my character to them?
There's no reason for me to try anymore. Let the Jedi interrogate me all they want, I'm not going to answer any of their questions. Let them try to force it out of me, but I'm not going to speak. My mouth is shut forever, and my body has shut down with it. I will not move or talk, and I will not give them anything they want.
I owe the world nothing.
My body goes limp in the guard's arms and they have to drag me to wherever they want me to be. Mace looks back and when he sees my state there is only hardness and coldness in his dark eyes. He sees a Sith trying to manipulate him, not a girl who has finally given up.
That's right. I've given up. I'm done. There is nothing more for me. I have been betrayed too many times, and I have been forsaken too many times. Let them do or think what they will, but this is not an act. This is the most honest thing I've done in forever.
They pull me to a room deep under the main floors of the temple and strap me into an upright board, my wrists and hands encased in metal, my feet and ankles and waist pushed back in a similar manner. I feel nothing as they lock me up. They're going to try and break me, but they can't because I'm already broken. They've done their work. There's nothing more I have left to give.
Quinlan is the one who approaches me first. He's alone, and he's angry. He stands in front of me, his arms crossed and his legs shoulder-width apart. For the moment he's level-headed, but I don't expect that to last for long, even without me doing my usual taunting.
I raise my head wearily up, and finally my eyes settle on his. He stares for the longest moment and I'm the first to look away. "Is this you or is this your master controlling you?"
Nothing. He's being sarcastic, and we both know it. He has come to poke fun at my defeat and to regain his lost dignity and pride from our fight on Bespin and the one on Thisspias. And you know what? I don't care. He can insult me and make fun of me all day long. I'm not going to react. I simply don't have it in me anymore.
"You were so invincible when I first stumbled upon you. I had heard all the stories, and I had talked to so many different people who had encountered you. I really was desperate to find out my fate, so see if those nightmares had any weight to them. And you know what all those people I talked to said?" He pauses, but whether it's for effect or to give me time to answer I don't know. "They said a trail of dead bodies follow you and precede you. They consider you a goddess of death with your black robes and red lightsaber and your lack of mercy. You're drawn to death, and you deal it out."
Quinlan uncrosses his arms and starts pacing in front of me as he continues. "Some people said you are cold and heartless, and others said you feel too much. Indifferent and emotional all at the same time. I still wonder which one is true." He stops again, and a shadow comes over his face. I know what he's going to say next, but it doesn't faze me. "Mace Windu told me all about the boy on Coruscant. You loved him, and you killed him. How did you feel when you did it? Were you emotionless and cruel or were you crying and full of pain?"
For the record, I was neither, but in reality I just kept watching him with tired eyes.
He seems a little frustrated at my lack of a reaction, but he tries to keep it wrapped up. "How do you do it? One moment you're a storm and the next moment you're calm. And how are you staying calm now? I'm throwing everything I can think of to hurt you at you and you're not even interested. If anything you look like a lost puppy."
I still continue to just watch him, and he throws his hands up in exasperation. "That's it. Okay. I'm going to give it to you straight: I need to know who your master is. Who is the other Sith?"
Yeah, not going to happen. He comes closer, gets right in my, but I don't flinch. "If you give us his name we won't kill you." Yeah, right. I'll always be a threat to them after this. And if they capture my master and dispose of him themselves then I'll never have the chance to make things right. I'll die a Sith, and I can't have that.
"You don't think I'm serious?" He pulls out his lightsaber and angles the green blade a fraction of an inch from my neck. I can feel the heat from it and even a small burn, but I still don't react. If he finishes me now, then so what? I'm going to die anyway. Life has just lost all reason. I can't prove to anyone that I'm not a bad person, so there's no point in challenging my master and dying that way. There's just no point anymore.
Quinlan retracts his lightsaber and shoves it back into his belt with a groan of frustration. "So you don't care about your own well-being. What do you care about?" He thinks long and hard, but his search will come up empty. There's nothing or no one I care for anymore. He was right; they're all dead. And of my only living "friends" one betrayed me and the other one is untouchable. Actually, as they're both Jedi, they're both untouchable.
I can't even bring myself to revel in his defeat. I'm just so numb and dead inside that nothing else seems to matter.
What takes me aback is when his face lights up and a sly smile appears. "I know what will convince you to talk," he says before running out. Although it had surprised me at the moment I fail to stay worried or surprised. He has nothing on me. Whatever he thinks will work won't. Nothing will get to me anymore.
Quinlan enters in, this time with a bag in one hand and something rolling behind him. He sets the bag down on the ground and displays my droid with a flourish. "This is your droid. If you don't cooperate and tell us who your master is and all of his plans, I will personally destroy him."
That gets to me. My eyes widen as KZ-4 beeps shrilly. He's so scared and fragile! How could he threaten me by using my droid? That's beyond cruel. And I had been wrong: not everyone I love has betrayed me. KZ hasn't. He's the only one who hasn't.
I swallow, hating myself for what I'm about to do. Just as I open my mouth to speak KZ-4 turns to me and lets out a series of beeps that change my mind. I trust you, he says. How can I betray him when he's been there for me all along? Sure, we've had our differences and he's abandoned me for the Jedi before, but I love him, and he trusts me with all his little mechanical heart. I can't just let Quinlan destroy him.
But I can't betray my master, either. The Jedi have gone too far in their actions to get those kind of answers, and I will gladly watch them burn at the hands of Sidious. I will not tell Quinlan of my master, and I will not let my droid be destroyed.
I let out an audible sigh before I take action. This is going to hurt. I set my shoulders and take in a deep breath before I twist my left wrist so hard it snaps, the fracture lines of my previous break giving under the pressure I'm applying. My own strength isn't enough, but a big push with the Force does the job. A shout comes out as I wrench my broken - and now smaller - hand through the metal cuff and point it at Quinlan. The Force shoves him backwards and he hits the wall hard. KZ-4 looks over at me but I motion for him to go. He does, taking off at the fastest speed I've ever seen him go.
By the time Quinlan recovers, my droid is long gone. A spark of defiance lights me up and I lift my chin up at him as he stands, rage on his face. He'd been outsmarted by me so many times I don't even know why it's a surprise anymore.
He doesn't even have words for me as he storms over to his bag and reaches inside of it. My heart stops at what he pulls out.
"You tasked Qui-Gon with destroying this, but I took it and switched it out for a fake one. No one knows I have it, but soon we'll know if the legends are true." He brings it over to me to see, in its full glory.
The Ravager.
KZ-4 gets out of that room fast. He doesn't like that Quinlan guy one bit. All he ever does is try to hurt Minerva, and KZ doesn't like anyone who doesn't like her. He may only be a droid, but he knows good people from the bad people, and right now Quinlan is a bad person. He's angry and dangerous. Even Minerva gets dangerous when she's angry.
But she never hurts KZ. All she does is protect him. Sure, she makes fun of him and always threatens to get rid of him, but she doesn't mean it. It's her way of showing her love. And now it's KZ's turn to show his love.
He rolls down the hallways and up the elevator and all over. Minerva needs help. His scans had shown pain and damage when she had saved him, and now it's his turn to save her. The only problem is that he's a droid, and what she needs is a person. A powerful person. A friendly person.
KZ-4 knows that Minerva doesn't have very many friends. He doesn't understand why, but he does know that one of her friends is here. And he's going to get him to help.
He checks every room and every little corner, but he can't find the friend. Where did he go? KZ finally decides he must have left the temple, and he exits the doors. No one questions him, but why would they? He's just a lost droid to them.
There! Sitting outside on the steps is friend Obi-Wan. He looks sad, though. The droid approaches him slowly, bumping into him lightly. The Jedi looks down at him. "What are you doing here?"
Minerva needs help, he beeps. She's hurt.
"She doesn't want my help. Not now, not ever again." Obi-Wan looks away.
You're her friend, KZ tries again. Go help her.
"Not anymore. I did the worst thing I could possibly do. I betrayed her, KZ. I said things I didn't mean because I was scared to admit she is a good person." He shakes his head. "She said I was worse than her father and her master."
The reason it caused her pain was because she cares about you. If she didn't care about you and your opinion then she wouldn't have been upset. KZ-4 needs to convince him to help. He can sense Minerva's in danger, and it's up to him to rescue her.
"She doesn't care anymore," he replies softly. If KZ could do an eye roll, he would.
Do you still care about her friendship? Then go and save her now. She's in danger! You may have betrayed her, but if you go to her then you won't have abandoned her. She's trying to be a better person, but when you lied you made her doubt herself. If you go and help her she won't be upset anymore. KZ beeps it all out in a rush, trying to make the young Jedi understand. No one knows Minerva like the droid does, and no believes in her as much as KZ. He always has, ever since she first picked him up.
"What kind of danger?" Obi-Wan asks, and at that moment KZ-4 knows he has won him over. The droid ignores his question and instead starts rolling back towards his master. Obi-Wan has no choice but to follow. KZ feels a sense of pride and accomplishment; he has finally managed to prove his worth to Minerva, and with it, his love.
He will never abandon her.
Getting my brain melted is exactly what I wanted to do today. The Ravager may be made to extract information but I will let it destroy me before I speak. It will be the worst pain ever, but I will resist it because my word is all I have left, and I will not let it be said that I'm disloyal because I betrayed my master.
Quinlan is out of his mind. He's not seething anymore, not yelling, but he's in a calm, cruel sort of of anger. It's the most dangerous kind. He stalks forward slowly, the device gripped tightly in his white knuckles.
"Your kind invented this so it's fitting that you will either confess or die by it," he says, looking at it longingly. "You have shown strength and resolve, and I really do hate to break you this way. It's unfair. But life often is, don't you agree?"
I still say nothing. Life is unfair, but taunting me isn't going to change anything. I've long since learned that lesson.
He comes closer still, and now he's right in front of me. My broken hand twitches painfully, but I don't dare move it. Not that I care about death, anyway, but suffering? My brain liquifying sounds like suffering to me.
"Last chance," he says lowly. "Confess freely or be forced into it."
My face doesn't even twitch. He reaches up with the Ravager in his hands, ready to put it on me. It's the end, I think. It doesn't feel right, but nothing recently has. My whole life has been one wrong thing after another, so it's fitting it ends wrongly.
There's commotion in the hallway and the door bursts open. Quinlan whirls to see KZ-4's green dome roll through and Obi-Wan's white tunic with his dark brown robes. "What are you doing?" the Jedi Knight hisses. "You're interrupting an important interrogation!"
Obi-Wan takes stock of the situation immediately. "I'm interrupting murder," he corrects, his voice hard. "Hand over the Ravager to the Jedi Council."
Quinlan's eyes narrow. "Or what? I'm trying to save our kind. If her master has a plan, then he could potentially bring about an imbalance of the force. The Sith have been hiding for years, and I highly doubt they've been idle in all that time."
"You're out for revenge," Obi-Wan accuses. "She told you your future, and you don't like it, so you blame her for it. The Council sent you down here to reason with her, not to threaten her. You can either hand over the Ravager to the Council yourself or I can report you. The choice is yours."
"You really don't want to do this, young Padawan," Quinlan threatens. "Your master is outspoken in more ways than one. I have much power in the Council."
"The Council will see through you," Obi-Wan warns. "Even they will not condone torture. Give it up, Quinlan."
He doesn't like it, but Quinlan abruptly turns and leaves. Obi-Wan immediately drops his hard expression and rushes over to unlock the cuffs. "What did you do?" he asks, holding my shattered wrist in his hands gently.
KZ-4 answers him, but I still don't say anything. How can I? He had betrayed me in the worst way possible. Qui-Gon and him were the only two people I trusted, and to be backstabbed like that…
It should make me angry. I should be furious and filled with hate. Searching inside myself, though, I find none of those emotions. Instead there's...is it forgiveness? I had noticed that I'd been changing lately, but not that much!
When I'm standing on my own and not strapped to the wall anymore, my first move is to lean down and pat my droid. "You're the best," I tell him. He hums proudly in response. My apathy fades and I find myself inspired by my little droid's bravery.
"Minerva," Obi-Wan starts, then hesitates. I turn to see him standing dejectedly away. "What I told them...I didn't mean it. It's just that Qui-Gon gets these projects and he puts all his time and energy into it. Usually he picks up outcasts and tries to help them, and of course the Council turns him down, time after time. His standing in the order bumps down a notch each time. He isn't bothered by it - he believes wholeheartedly that he's doing the right thing - but I am, and when the pressure was put on me to stand up for you, his most recent project - "
"You didn't want to lose status by being associated with me," I finish quietly. "It's okay. I'm not mad at you. Not anymore, at least."
"You're not?" his young face is surprised.
I start walking out of the room and he and my droid follow. I pull up my hood with my uninjured hand to conceal myself. There is no way I'm getting captured again. I won't be lucky enough to escape again. If I'm going to do what I have to do, I have to do it now. KZ reminded me of my duty, and I will honor him by finishing my task.
"I'm going to Moraband to challenge my master," I tell him quietly once we exit the temple and are a safe distance away.
"That's suicide!" he exclaims, putting his hand on my arm to stop me. "You can't do that."
"I don't want to be a Sith anymore," I whisper, my voice cracking. "If I'm a Sith, people look at me and see a bad guy. If I'm a Sith, I can't be friends with you and Qui-Gon. If I'm a Sith, I'm not free to be who I really am. I'm not strong enough to switch over to the light side, so death is the only way I'll be freed."
Obi-Wan doesn't say anything. Instead he lets go and continues walking a few feet, deep in thought. When he turns around his face is set. "We all make choices in life that we have to take responsibility for," he says solemnly. "If this the path you choose, then it's your choice and your choice alone. But you're not going to face it alone."
"I have to," I reply. "You can't come to Moraband. It's too dangerous. I'm not going to let you kill yourself. Your future is too important. This is my burden and I will bear it alone."
He nods once. "I don't like it, Minerva. Not in the slightest. I respect you too much to fight you, though. If this is what you must do, then finish it. But take him down with you."
This is it. The end of the journey I started on years ago when I had first taken up Sidious' offer. At that time I never would have thought it would end this way, with me being full of regret for all the lives I could have lived. All the things I could have done. All the ways I could have changed the world and the people I encountered.
"Before you go," Obi-Wan speaks out. "I've been working on something." He holds out his hands and motions for me to present my damaged wrist. I offer it up and he closes his eyes, summoning the Force to do his will. My bones knit together again, though my wrist is still weak. Obi-Wan stumbles back a little, the effort of the healing exhausting him.
I lace up the wrist braces on both arms to add support to the weak joints. I won't be struggling with them for much longer, I think wryly. Instead I thank the Jedi. "Oh, and one more thing," I add. "KZ-4. Will you take care of him?"
My droid beeps and whistles in protest. He doesn't want to leave my side. I appreciate the gesture, but it's not fair to let him rot on Moraband with me. Not after all he's done for me.
"He doesn't want to stay," Obi-Wan remarks. "Maybe it's best you take him with you."
"At least try to talk reason into him," I beg. "He likes you and Qui-Gon a lot. He doesn't deserve to die with me."
Obi-Wan nods in acquiescence and takes my droid aside for a few minutes. They talk back and forth before the Jedi comes back, shaking his head. "He will not be moved. That is indeed a loyal droid you have there."
I take in a deep breath. KZ-4 is as stubborn as his master, apparently. And now I'm just stalling. I don't want to go to my death. I really don't. All my fears rise up again, but I have to do this. I have to prove I'm not bad. I don't want my only legacy to be of the terrible things I did.
"Goodbye, Obi-Wan," I announce. "I will see you one day on the other side."
And with that, KZ-4 and I head towards certain death.