Through Galaxies Far

by myshipsaresunk

Before Maul, Darth Sidious had a different apprentice. Minerva isn't like the other Sith, though. Shunned by her old master and all alone in the galaxy with only the company of her droid, she makes her own adventures on isolated planets, ancient Sith battlegrounds, and even with Jedi encounters. But there are some things even she can't run from: her past, and her destiny.

21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: All rights belong to Disney, George Lucas, and all the men and women that created the Star Wars movies, books, and comics. I take no credit, and I do not mean to break any copyright rules. This is simply a work of fiction made for enjoyment. No money is being made. The cover art image belongs to peanutbutterroastedchestnuts. tumblr .com (remove the spaces)

Rating: T for violence, disturbing imagery, and dark themes

Author's Note: This is not the last chapter, although it seems very final.

Chapter 21

Outer Rim Territories, Unknown Sector, Unknown System, 39 BBY

My master is here already, waiting for me. I can sense him. He is a dark shadow in the force, menacing and silent. I have never openly defied him before, but I have seen evidence of what happens to those that do. My heart pounds in my chest, fear filling me.

Suddenly I have the desire to go back. Obi-Wan would help me hide. Or I could go to my safe house in Naboo and live to an old age there, just KZ-4 and I and all the native fauna. It wouldn't be a bad life. Any life sounds good right now.

Faced with inevitable death, I discover just want to live.

I thought I had come to terms with it before. Many times before. I had steeled myself in every way possible, but now that it is right in front of me, my mind has changed. Is having a good name really worth throwing away my life for? Is my dignity and honor and legacy really worth ending things so abruptly for?

Deep down, the answer is yes. I inhale deeply and exhale long several times, calming my scattered emotions. KZ-4 is silent and stoic in his pocket on the outside of my ship, and I order him to stay there. He decided to come, but he doesn't get any more say than that. I can't bear to watch him be destroyed. He's the last shred of innocence left in my life, the last untouched and pure thing that I've ever come into contact with.

Talzin's words and advice come back to me and I connect with the Force, letting it flow through me and thrum deep in my veins. The bottled up emotions linger just below the surface, ready to be released when the moment is right. My eyes close in concentration. This is it, but it's not going to be a quick death. I am going to confront my master and lay bare for him his sins, and then I will fight to my very last breath.

I feel as though everything has led up to this moment. For the first time in years my mind is clear and I know exactly what I'm supposed to do. There are no moral questions left, no excuses. Everything is coming to end here right now. After years of betrayal, abandonment, pain, suffering, power, strength, fear, fearlessness, anger, love, impatience - every emotion on the spectrum, it seems - I have finally found peace. Peace from the storm that has raged inside my heart and soul my entire life.

So even though I'm afraid - terrified, in fact - I still feel a sense of serenity. It won't last long, not if I'm going to be using my pent-up emotions to boost my power to put up a fair fight against my master, but for the moment it's a relief.

After a few minutes of meditation with myself and with the Force, I feel I am ready. Shrugging my hood on and lacing up my boots tightly, I gather up my lightsaber and tuck it into my belt firmly. My hair I braid back tightly into a long cord that falls down my back. If this is the end, I'm going to go out ready.

Stepping out of the starship and onto the dusty plane that spans the entire wasteland of a planet, I sense the darkness where my master must be. It's several hundred meters from my ship, and I begin the trek slowly, not eager to run towards death.

It's fitting that it ends here, here on the planet where the Sith originated. They fought each other back then, too, but their fights were over power. This fight between my master and I will be for freedom, for liberation. I've been a slave to the dark side and to him for so long that I cannot remember what liberty feels like.

Freedom is life's greatest disappointment, though. My parents separated to free themselves from the suffering of being near each other, and look where that got my mom. My siblings ended their lives to free themselves from the pain of living, but all it brought them was the imprisonment of death. I became a Sith apprentice to free myself from the clutches of death and poverty, and all it brought me was right here, right back to death.

If freedom is so disappointing then why does everyone crave it? Why do we reach towards a goal that doesn't get us far? The answer lies in ourselves. When we have freedoms, specifically the freedom to choose, we feel in control. We feel strong and able, independent. And to most people, that feeling is enough to sacrifice whatever freedom might take from us. In my case, I am willing to sacrifice my life for freedom.

My master is standing next to the remains of some ruins. Yes, the old marble and rusty metal structures are old enough to be considered remains of ruins. This planet has been abandoned for such a long time that each of my footfalls brings up a dusty shroom to rise from the thin soil that covers the ground.

I stand ten feet from my master, my arms at my sides and my posture straight. He watches me for the longest time, and I realize it has been over three years since I left. To him, I am a new person.

"You are different, Minerva," he says, his voice carrying through the wind. "And yet you are exactly the same. What has changed in the last few years to prompt this treachery?"

"I have not betrayed you, Master," I reply, raising my voice slightly to be heard. "Not once has your identity slipped my lips, nor your location. No secrets of the Sith have been discarded in my absence. I have not harmed you in any way. You know this to be true for you know I cannot betray you. It isn't in my nature."

"Then what are you doing here?" he hisses, not satisfied with my answer. "You hold not the bearing of a prodigal apprentice or a wayward protege. Only treason comes from your stance."

"I have come to bring justice," I declare solemnly. "You destroyed my life. I am here to correct that damage."

"You have been lied to!" he shouts. "You have been tricked! I made you who you are today. I saved your life when no one else came to your rescue. I gave you everything you wanted. You were the one that promised to do everything and anything it took to become a Sith."

"I was desperate and dying, and you took advantage of my youth," I accuse calmly, saving my emotional energy for when the fight starts. "You told me you'd take away my fears and give me what I wanted, and that there was no catch. I unwittingly gave up my freedom, for once the dark side claims you it never leaves. You were the one who manipulated me."

"Look at yourself!" he scoffs, disgusted. "You are who you always wanted to be. I gave you the power you wanted. I did take away your fears - you coming here to confront me is evidence enough. I gave you the skills to stand up for yourself and the ability to remake everything. What more did you want?"

"I wanted strength, not power," I say softly, my words barely audible. "My fears never left me; they just evolved. The skills you gave me were to kill anyone who opposed me when all I wanted was to be able to hold my own. You took away my humanity and turned me into your pawn. I wanted happiness, and when I found it, you made me destroy it." The words flow out easily, all my barriers lifted. This is my master, and he knows everything about me. I have nothing to hide. How can I be shamed by him when he was the one who made me?

A cruel grin curls up on his hooded face. "Ah, the boy. You remember him, then?"

My heart clenches. "How could I forget? He was the first one I killed, and no amount of Sith magic can make me forget what I did or how I felt."

Sidious shakes his head. "You see it all wrong. That was your greatest moment. You overcame your restraining emotions and made good on your promise. You proved to yourself that you weren't like your treacherous father or your cowardly mother. You didn't take the easy way out like your siblings. That was the first time you had ever made your own choice in something important, and you did what you had to do. I was so proud of you that day. It was your defining moment."

My defining moment as a killer, maybe. As heartless and savage. "No, that was your defining moment. The moment you defined yourself as a liar and a traitor, that is. You said I could be whoever I wanted to be, and I wanted to be with him. You cornered me and left me with no choice. If I hadn't killed him you would have killed me. You were the one who betrayed me."

"I see you have truly made up your mind, then," he remarks. "You are turning your back on the way of the Sith. My greatest apprentice turned against me. We could have ruled the galaxy together. We could have done anything we wanted to do."

"I never wanted to rule the galaxy. And you knew that years ago before I left. I saw how you looked upon me with worried eyes. You were afraid I would grow too powerful for you to control and that I would challenge you. It's only because of your mistake that I'm living, for I didn't want the power that killing you would bring. I just wanted to be free to do what I wanted to do. Now I'm being held back because of the dark side, and I have no choice but to fight you."

He's silent for a long moment, but I can sense that I am right. He had been terrified of how weak my loyalties would turn out to be.

"Have you ever thought of what would happen if you win here today?" he questions, and I catch my breath. He'd found the only opening in my fortress, my only unsure footing. I have been so confident in his power to defeat me that I hadn't ever considered the consequences of winning. "You'd be the last Sith. You would have to train a new apprentice."

"I would kill myself and let the Sith die out rather than ruin someone else's life," I answer. "But we both know you will win today."

His face brightens. "You have seen my future? You know I will succeed?"

Crap. Hadn't meant to let that slip. Now he'll be more confident than ever. "I just know you have trained me. You know everything I know. As you said, you created me."

He isn't listening to me, though. He's daydreaming about his new empire. "What shall I call it? It will have to have a name. I will not be known as the ruler of a republic. People should hear the name and be afraid. They will know of it far away in other galaxies…" Sidious turns again to me. "It's a shame you won't be alive to see it."

The duel has begun. I know he will not fight with a lightsaber, but fighting is my strength, so I pull my weapon from my belt and click both sides on, shrugging off my black robe at the same time. The red glows brightly on the dull planet.

I can sense through the Force all the old Sith Lords hanging around here as they gather near, the anticipation of a duel between two incredibly powerful Sith breaking through the monotony of their existence. There are many of them, and I can sometimes catch their whispers clearly. They know all that is at stake, and yet none of them are judging me for my decision to break away from the dark side. They respect me for my power and strength.

They can't be in the way of me and the Force when the battle begins, though, so I clear them from sight and sound as I focus on the present.

Darth Sidious makes the first move. He motions with his hands to pull free rubble from the old ruins and throws it my way. I avert it with my left hand and spin my lightsaber with my right, turning it into a windmill of death. Sprinting forward, I use the Force to aid me as I somersault over him and land behind him, swinging my blades forward. It should have dissected him but he had anticipated the attack, stepping quickly out of range and putting out his hands to send Force lightning my way.

I intercept the blue and purple spikes with my blade, focusing on it so the lightning with not shatter or short circuit my weapon. The last thing I need is to lose my one advantage. My master cannot fight with a weapon, or at least he chooses not to, so if I have any chance of wounding him it will have to be with my weapon.

He finally stops the rays and instead throws more objects hurtling my way. I deflect them all as if they are pesky nuisances, even the largest ones, and he is surprised by my power. Oh, this is only the beginning. I haven't even touched the emotions packed down inside. This is just a warm up.

Sidious is becoming desperate. He knows my power has only grown since I left, and he has been too busy with politics to bother with training his mind. Maybe I will win this fight after all.

I chase him around the area a few times, both of us dislodging old ruins and trying to sneak in Force lightning attacks to no avail. We are equally matched in this arena. Until he changes strategies, that is. He uses the Force to fling my lightsaber away and it turns off, the metal hilt disappearing behind some ancient wreckage. The movement catches me by surprise, considering how cheap of a move it is.

"Now it's just us and our knowledge of the Force," he announces. "A fair fight, I think."

"I have learned much in my travels," I warn him, and he, predictably, goes for a Force choke. I push out my palm in defense, and the
Force throws him backwards a few feet. Now the emotions are flowing in an unchecked line. He struggles to his feet as I advance on him. "I am the opposite of you. And I am more powerful than you." It's a true statement, and he knows it.

Sidious tries the lightning again, but I jump up and forward, landing behind him in a crouch. This time I try for a Force choke, and he struggles for a few minutes before managing to dislodge my hold and throwing me back. My head hits something hard and everything goes black for a second before my vision returns, dark spots still lingering. I force myself to my feet and face him again right as he's launching another attack. Whenever I feel myself giving way to him I remember the damage he did to me and my power levels surge up again. We grapple for what seems like hours but is actually close to half of one. Neither of us has the upper hand as we lay blow after blow with the Force on one another. Each of us take heavy hits and deals them out; we truly are equal.

I finally get the upper hand as I send him flying against an old, half-standing column. He hits his head hard and goes down, crumpling in a heap. Slowly I walk towards him, finding my lightsaber and summoning it to me. I switch it on as I approach him, angling one blade towards his chest. When he opens his eyes I'm staring down at him in hate.

"You truly are the best apprentice I ever had," he swallows, pushing himself up a little bit. "You learned everything I had to teach you and more."

"Flattery won't save you," I say coldly. He shakes his head.

"No, it won't. Because I didn't say that as a compliment." He rolls under and over, and before I can lunge forward with my blade and deal the killing blow he reaches into his robes and pulls out his own red lightsaber, blocking my blow. "You were right when you said I suspected your loyalties. I kept my fighting skills a secret so that if you ever challenged me I had a failsafe. Flattery won't save me; my combat abilities will."

I back away to allow him to stand up and we collide instantly, the buzzing of our lightsabers as they whirl through the air and the clashing of them as they hit each other filling the air. He wraps two hands around the hilt of his, relying on his strength to combat my speed.

My speed isn't as fast as it usually is, though. The Force part of the battle had worn me down, and my strong muscles are now shaking from nonstop tension and the build up of lactic acid. Dust is floating thickly in the air, making it hard to breathe, and blood from a cut above my eye is dripping down, making my skin itch uncomfortably and partially blinding me in one eye. He wears me out and pressing down, again and again, and my legs are starting to shake under me, and my arms are sore and aching. I can't keep this up for much longer.

He bears down on one of my blades, putting all his strength behind the push. I lean back, but my feet are slipping on the dusty ground. Sweat and blood make their way down my face, and a groan of effort comes out of my mouth. He knows he has me, and I know I can't keep this hold.

Summoning up bravery and/or stupidity - though I think it's a mix of both - I spin away as I retract the blade of my lightsaber. I turn in time to avoid being impaled by his lightsaber, but the blade carves down the side of my bare back. It's only a scratch, but a lightsaber scratch is excruciating and burning. White spots dance around my vision and I turn to face him again, trying to breathe steadily to avoid passing out from the pain.

I take a second to reach behind and lightly press against the wound with my free hand, discovering with a burst of agony that it wasn't as much of a scratch as I had thought. It's actually deeper, and I was lucky he hadn't severed my spine. It's a terrible wound that I will pay for greatly once my adrenaline fades.

"I have trained you well," Sidious says, facing me off as we slowly circle each other like vultures. "You put up an honorable fight. It is only too bad that you fail to see how great your life was. You had so much to look forward to, and you're throwing it all away."

"I threw my life away the moment I agreed to be your apprentice," I shoot back, and with that I lunge forward, aiming for an area between his neck and his chest. As I jump forward, partially in mid air, he throws his hand out and uses the Force to throw me backward. My grip on my lightsaber is loosened and it flies out of my hand, far out of reach and sight.

Sidious walks over to me, towering above as I lay on the ground in pain. "What did you expect to come out of this?" he asks cruelly. "Do you really think that by challenging me you'd be redeemed? Will killing me or by dying while trying wipe out away the blood on your hands? Will it bring back all those you killed? You're an even greater fool than I thought. You cannot redeem yourself. Minerva is a murderer, and nothing will ever change that."

He's right. But at least this way I'll be avenging those I killed. "I know nothing will make up for what I did. That is why I'm dying now, to prevent further harm. Minerva will become a name of legend, a bedtime story mothers tell their children to keep them from wandering out at night. I personally will never be able to hurt anyone again, though."

"So now you've become a saint?" He brings the lightsaber closer to my neck before dropping it. "I'm not going to kill you. Not immediately, that is. Some say regret is the worst emotion. Others say guilt is. I'm going to leave you here long enough to figure out who is right. Just long enough." He brings his lightsaber down and slashes, cutting two long diagonal lines deep into my stomach, parallel to each other. They're just deep enough to be fatal but shallow enough so that it will take hours to kill me. I would know, because I've inflicted it upon others before. But I had never thought I would be the one accepting the injury.

Pain explodes and for a few seconds I black out. When I come to again, I see my master picking up my wayward lightsaber and tucking it into his robes. "This will serve my new apprentice well," he informs me. "Thank you for your service," he adds with a grin before he turns and walks away, his black robes billowing behind him as he leaves me to die alone on this cursed planet.

All I can do is lay, the suns overhead burning my skin and drying me up. Everything hurts, and I can barely roll myself over to where my discarded robe lay, using it as a sheet to lay on. After that I close my eyes and try to find peace, but I can't seem to get it. What he had said about never being able to redeem myself had really stuck.

And, like he had said, both guilt and regret fills me. I had murdered dozens without remorse. Sure, most of them had been hardened criminals, but there are a few innocents. Damari sticks out the most, his big brown eyes and his bright smile ingrained in my mind forever. My life would be completely different if I hadn't killed him. Would I have happy? We could have lived together, building a better life for both of us. We would have been each other's family.

There is the regret part. It's not just Damari I regret, either. I regret all of the lives I'd taken. Who was I to play God and decide whose lives were worth less than others?

There were good things I did, though, too. If I hadn't been on Tatooine I wouldn't have ever rescued Isaiah and brought him back to his family on Bespin. If I hadn't been on Coruscant I wouldn't have ever been able to honor that Twi'lek girl in death. And that family on Naboo. I'd done good things in my life, and maybe they didn't outweigh the bad, but I had tried.

It wasn't worth it. All of my life - my horrible decisions, my conflicting emotions, the loss of my family, not being allowed to be with my friends - none of it was worth this. I had the chance to be happy, time and time again, yet I chose strength and power over everything else. My fears had controlled my life, and I hadn't ever risked anything. It just wasn't worth it, I think, a sob getting stuck in my throat and tears streaking down my face.

Suddenly I realize I don't want to die alone. I don't want to be here. No one will know I died except KZ-4, and he'll rust out eventually with my starship. No one comes here. And no one cares, anyway. In my life I was a murderer, a Sith with a terrible reputation for cruelness and violence. If anything they'll throw a party because I died.

My friends...I realize with a wave of sadness that Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan will never know what became of me. They'll assume I died or left the galaxy or hid, but they'll never know for sure. My body will rot here on this Sith planet, and eventually I'll become one of the many skeletons here.

And Isaiah will always wonder what became of his dark defender. He's with his parents now, I bet. A small smile manages its way on my face at that thought. I may have done many bad things in my life but at least I reunited him with his family. They won't be broken like me and my family. No one deserves that.

I just want to live! There's so much in life I had passed by or missed, and now that I'm dying, I realize I don't want life to end. It had been painful and full of suffering, but it had been living, and what more can I ask for? Life is precious in all forms.

Eleven years ago I had been in a situation not too different. I had been slowly wasting away in an alley in the Underworld of Coruscant, with no one to notice if I had been gone and no one to mourn me. But my attitude couldn't have been more different. I had wanted to die back then, wanted nothing more than to let the suffering and sorrow end. Now I'm in a similar situation but I want to live.

I choose life!

Life just doesn't work that way, though. It never did. Why would it change for me?

My body shudders quickly, pain flashing hotly, and my eyes flicker before closing, darkness claiming me.

Core Worlds Region, Coruscant Subsector, Corusca Sector, Unknown System, 43 BBY

Today I turn sixteen. The sweet age, apparently. In order to celebrate it, I'm leaving my master. A bold move I barely have the courage to make, but a necessary one. I'm tired of being his puppet, the one who does his dirty work without question.

It's time I make my own decisions. It's time I find myself, discover who I really am without him behind me. I want to take advantage of my life and live it to the fullest.

He will be angry when he discovers I left. He will hunt me down and will always be ready to destroy me or turn me back. But I'm not going back. I can't. There's just something wrong about him, a bad feeling that I get whenever I'm around him. I don't doing his work or following him. He trained me well, but now it's time to go my own way.

My life is just beginning, and there's so many places I want to travel to, so many people to meet and things to try. I can't constantly be under his shadow, not if I want to succeed.

He's been an important part of my life for several years now, but it's time to let go. Our paths will cross again some day. I feel it. For now, though, I'm on my own.

Just the way I like it.

Outer Rim Territories, Unknown Sector, Unknown System, 39 BBY

Obi-Wan lands on the dusty planet, doing his best to ignore the bad feelings he gets. This planet is the source of the dark side, and he wouldn't be here unless it was of the utmost importance.

And, according to KZ-4's frantic message, it is. He leaps from the cockpit of the starship, running to the one nearby that he recognizes as a MagnaGuard fighter. It's Minerva's, and her green astromech droid beeps wildly from his pocket. Obi-Wan goes over and places him on the ground.

"Qui-Gon's on his way," he tells the droid quickly. "Where is she?"

KZ beeps as he takes off, hurdling towards a group of ruins a half a mile away. The Jedi follows as fast as he can, but no one can catch catch up to KZ-4 at this point. He's never been more rushed in his life.

Obi-Wan sees the body before he even gets close. KZ-4 reaches Minerva and lets out a series of sorrowful whistles. The Jedi increases his pace, coming to a stop at her side. Her eyes are closed and her skin is pale, blood smeared across her face from a cut above her eye. The source of her condition is startlingly evident, though. Two crispy lines gouge deep in the skin of her stomach. The Jedi has seen injuries like that often enough to know it's from a lightsaber.

He kneels next to her, keeping calm to check for a pulse. There is one, but it's weak. Too weak. And increasingly failing. KZ bumps into her side, and her eyes flutter open slightly.

"Minerva?" Obi-Wan asks gently. Her eyes don't focus on anything, though. Not for a while at least.

"You came back," she whispers, brokenly.

"Of course," he replies, small smile curving up on his face for her benefit. She returns a weak smile.

"Your future - " she begins, but he cuts her off.

"If you don't think I should know it then don't tell me. I trust you and your judgement," he says, and she gives him a grateful look.

"Thanks," she chokes out. "Just...just take care of KZ, okay? Please."

Minerva never says please, and just as rarely does she ask for favors or thank anyone. This really is the end, Obi-Wan realizes. "Of course," he assures her. "Anything." But even as he watches her body fails. "Minerva? No, stop. Don't die. You can't." Her hand on his arm falls, hitting the ground duly.

It happens too quickly after that. Her features relax as she exhales for the last time, those bright orange Sith eyes closing lethargically. He holds her closer, pain filling him as his friend dies, right in his arms. "No," he whispers, his face contorting with grief. "No!"

When Qui-Gon makes it to them, Obi-Wan doesn't know how long he has sat there for. His face has since become passive, and he has calmed down since. Acceptance has come over him. This is the cycle of life, and she hadn't died without honor. No, Obi-Wan knows she had died doing something for herself, something she needed to do to redeem herself. Her life hadn't all been for naught.

"She's gone," he says numbly, rocking back on his heels to look up at his master. Qui-Gon turns sadly to her body, kneeling down to lay a hand on her cold forehead.

"She was brave to take on her master," he remarks solemnly. "Braver than most. She will be a legend."

Silence reigns for a long moment as the two of them let reality sink in. Minerva had been so young, and had so much potential. Now she's just gone, and they're left. KZ-4 lets out one long and heartbreaking mourning note, and then another. He keeps bumping into her, waiting for her to wake up. She isn't, though. She won't.

"She's not coming back, KZ," Obi-Wan tells him softly. The droid can't seem to accept it, and that makes everything even more painful.

"We won't leave her here," Qui-Gon says to his young apprentice, laying a hand on his shoulder that's as heavy as his heart. "We'll give her a proper funeral on Coruscant."

Picking up her stiff body gently, the two Jedi and the green droid walk to their ships, leaving behind the old, dusty planet of Moraband and the old ruins that had once been great buildings. It had all been destroyed, premature and cruelly.

Moraband had fallen just like Minerva.