Chapter 6

Hector contacts Stephanie

Beth was in Japan working on a project when hurricane warnings were posted for the Florida Gulf Coast. I was paralyzed with indecision; I had never been in this situation and had no idea what to do. Fortunately Antonio had weathered many storms and took control.

"Beth's house is designed to withstand a force 5 hurricane. Our first concern is securing the office. Then we do Beth's house."

"Antonio, what about you and your wife?" I asked.

"We live in base housing. Navy wants us to evacuate. Actually I feel safer at Beth's than any other shelter. Can we bunk in? Beth has a horde of emergency food and water. Her house is quickly made storm proof."

It was a whirl wind of preparations while listening to weather updates. I watched Antonio for signs of when to panic but it never came. The storm wouldn't be that bad but would probably knock out power for several days. We buttoned up the space ship house to ride out the storm.

I've never been in a hurricane at the beach. Sure some storms moved over Trenton but they were "softened" by the land between the ocean and the city. They were pretty frightening, but to be on the beach with the high waves was nerve wracking. For all the beauty and joy living close to the water brings, it is time like this that knocks some reality back into the life. The Yin and the Yang and right now I was up to my butt in Yang.

"Don't you have some meditation moves from your martial arts," asked Antonio. Of course I did, time for a self administered Gibbs head slap.

"Try these," Grace, Antonio's wife said, handing me ear plugs. It's the noise and the low pressure that makes hurricanes unnerving. She was right, once the "howling banshees" were eliminated, I could settle down. I went to my bedroom, piled pillows over my head and slept until morning.

By dawn the storm was over and the landscape had changed. The beach was different; reshaped, less sand in some areas, new sand spits in others. The marina had a few boats sitting in the parking lot. Most of all there was no electricity, no telephone, and no cell phones. At least I thought there was no electricity. When I came down stairs, the refrigerator was running, coffee was made and out on the deck Antonio was scrambling eggs on the propane barbeque. I looked at Antonio. "Generator. If we keep our power consumption down, it should last two weeks. That's usually enough time for the power to be restored."

I pulled my hair into a pony tail as there would be no washing or blow drying until services were reestablished. I was applying the second coat of mascara when cell phone vibrated. I jumped back because I knew all the cell phone towers in the area had been knocked down. I read the display, "Estafania, come quick, he needs you. It is bad. Hector."

I ran down the stairs and showed the display to Antonio and Grace. They checked their phones and had no reception. "How did this message make it to me?"

Grace took the phone and doing a little backtracking. "Who do you know in the Navy?" she asked.

"Nobody," I answered, "except you." Grace worked at some communications center for the Navy

"Do you know this Hector?"

"Yes, it is the security man back in Trenton."

She looked at me with steel eyes, "This came through a secret communication system. Do you understand the message? Is it some code?"

"No, I suspect it is his way of finding me to tell me Ranger is injured or in trouble."

Grace looked pissed, "Civilian?"

"Yes."

"We've spent billions on a super-secret communication system and are hacked by a civilian? He must have major skills. Maybe we should hire him."

I giggled, "One look at him and you'd change your mind. He's…..different. I don't know half of what Hector does, but I know he is extremely loyal. Carlos saved his life and Hector has pledged his life to Carlos."

Looking back at the phone Grace said, "If it is important enough that he risked federal prosecution, you need to go. But tell Hector when things settle down here I'm coming up there to find out he got the message through. I'd rather patch it than prosecute him."

My stomach relaxed a bit. Hector wasn't going to be in too much trouble, but I needed to get to New Jersey.

Tank was standing at the end of the concourse outside of security. I wanted to throw my arms around him, but he stood ramrod straight. Instead I simply asked, "Hector told you?"

"I've known awhile- about this flight, Hector told me 30 minutes ago."

"Hector knew where I was and when I was coming?"

"He's always known, but never told anybody until recently." Tank grabbed my carry on, "Let's go."

"What happened," I asked as I scrambled to stay up with his long legged stride.

"Mission. Explosion. He wants to die."

Lester had the Rangeman SUV in the loading zone at the airport, "Bomber." He said it with no emotion. Tank and Lester were zombies. Then it dawned on me, this was their combat face, no emotion, few words.

At the hospital Bobby greeted me with a long hug and a bit of a sob. He took me aside, "Stephanie, I hope you brought your bag of miracles. Physically he should be getting better, but he is shutting down. The light is gone from his eyes."

I looked at him, "What do you mean?"

"Steph, he wants to die. When you left he just spiraled down, becoming surely, hard. It was a blessing having him out of the office. He took more missions than he should, not adequately decompressing after each one. He felt you left because you no longer loved him."

"He's been trying to kill himself?"

"I think so," said Bobby.

Welcome to the club, I thought to myself.

I stood at the entry to the room. The man in the bed was thinner by at least 20 pounds. His hair was shorn short, face was drawn, eyes vacant. He looked old and tired.

"Bobby, how badly is he hurt?"

"Everything is repairable, internal and external but his soul is dying. All the medicine in the world cannot cure someone who truly wants to die. He's nearly at that point."

Bobby lowered the bed side rail and I moved in close, but couldn't reach Ranger's face. Bobby lowered the bed. When I could get nose to nose with Ranger, I began kissing him and talking to him in each ear least he lost hearing in one. At first his eyes were distant but slowly began following me. "Hello Carlos."

"You left me," he murmured.

I stood there stunned. There was a time I would have dissolved into tears and apologies. But not now; Stephanie Michelle Plum had grown "a couple."

"Yes, I did, just as you left me many times without telling me where you were going. Initially I understood, I was just a distraction. Other times you were disappointed or mad at me, usually for going back to Joe, though you were the one who initially told me I was better with Joe. Later, as our love or at least my love for you blossomed, your sudden disappearances were like a knife to the heart. I justified the missions as necessary. I thought someday you'd not renew the contract and be with me, but it never happened. My Happily Ever After was not going to happen. So I left.

Carlos, was on my own mission to find myself. And like yours, it was do or die for me too.

Once I was gone I was still dark and empty, leaving made no difference. It wasn't you, it wasn't Joe, it wasn't my mother, it wasn't the Burg, it was me. So I decided to kill myself."

I stepped away from the bed and began pacing. Laughing I turned back to him, "Do you know how hard it is to kill yourself without a loaded weapon or a high rise building to do a Vlako smash? Apparently you do, because it appears you are trying to do it now.

Carlos, I've never stopped loving you, but I need more. I can't live with just your friendship when you are in town, but apparently it is all you have to give. I'm sorry, Carlos, I need you 100%, to hell with the damn contract.

Carlos, for me love is all or nothing. That's the one of my many faults. I've been in half love relationships and have been burned badly. I love you 100% Ricardo Carlos Manoso. I'll say it again so you'll understand; I am 100% in love with you, only you. If you want me, you have to be 100% in as well. However, if you can't, if you go back to your missions or can't give me your heart….I'm gone. I can't be burned again. I've been rebuilding my self-worth. I'm not a Bombshell Bounty Hunter, train wreck, or ungrateful Old Maid daughter."

"Babe."

"Sorry Carlos, I've been away too long to understand your one word dialog. I've done all the talking here. It's time you do the thinking and talking." I bent over and kissed him with passion, stood upright and walked out.

"Stephanie….." Bobby grabbed my arm as I passed.

"Bobby, you'd better cut off his foot because there's no way I'm with him if he returns to his missions."

"No Steph, I was going to ask, did you really….."

"Yes Bobby, turns out sharks don't like Jersey girls."

I was pretty steady walking down the hall and into the elevator, but when I got to the main floor, it was all I could do to get to the waiting area. My legs were like rubber. I found a spot to sit down. I just called him Carlos instead of Range. Will he understand I want him, not the mysterious man named Ranger? What if he decides he doesn't want me or he has fallen too deeply and can't recover? Well, I had just laid my cards on the table, now I'll have to see how they play out.